Favorite CM Punk one liners

[Oh Cry Me a Screwball]

Josh: "Did you have a conversation like that with your NXT Season 1 rookie?" (in reference to the Aksana/Goldust green card romance storyline)

Punk: "No. I've never had a conversation with my rookie from NXT Season 1."

[häšhtå.gdālėÿ]

CM Punk calls his shot; “I need some natural dynamite in my life.”

[MAD TITAN]

When he told Vince "Pick it up and sign it before the stock plummets some more"

[S-Chrome]

"I would, but I know where that hand's been."

[Mike Bockwinkel]

"I quit."

[xxshoyuweeniexx]

I give the little robot boy an F.

[A damn road sign]

May 16, 2019 21:03:44 GMT -5 Bear Skin Rug said:

When Elijah Burke legitimately nailed him with a kick and he said "Ow."

It was “wow, that hurt” wasn’t it?

[Deleted]

May 16, 2019 22:03:42 GMT -5 häšhtå.gdālėÿ said:

Every one liner on commentary.

One of the worst parts of him leaving is his potential future as an ace commentator left with him.

I so miss him on commentary on ROH shows his disdain for Jack Evans was so believable thinking his name was Flippy Mcgillicuddy.

[Heartbreaker]

May 16, 2019 21:03:16 GMT -5 @ambrosefan said:

You're not funny and nobody likes you.

This always makes me nearly cry laughing. It's such a silly insult, something a child would say but of course it made Big Show look so sad.

[Deleted]

Josh Mathews - "The Lucha Libre style of AJ"

Punk - "It's an armdrag...Americans do armdrags"

[mike1287]

OMG Kevin Nash WTF I thought he was dead LOL

[OVO 40 hunched over like he 80]

“OMG I thought Kevin Nash was dead lol”

That killed Nash right then and there.

[Mozenrath]

"There is no God, and the cage wasn't 30 feet."

[ben:friendship frog]

May 16, 2019 18:02:54 GMT -5 Saiyanic Panic said:

“Shut up, Josh.”

Shut up and sit down

[Gerard Gerard]

CM Punk - 'I actually have a clip from a big time movie star and, no, Hunter, that movie star isn't you in The Chaperone."

HHH- 'How'd your movie do, by the way?'

CM Punk- 'Oh, mine went straight to DVD, just like yours.'

Kills. Me.

Every. Time.

[Venti]

Kevin Nash-"you need to watch your mouth"
Punk- "you need to watch the show, I say what I want to whomever I want"

It's funny, I always thought the heat behind that feud was legit, but Nash went on to say that he thinks Punk is a pretty good dude. Not a fan of them inserting Nash into Punk's storyline, but the promos between them were fun.
"Take a shower, hit the weights, get a clue."

[Bad Moon]

One that I always found really underrated was during his 2013 Summerslam feud with Lesnar and Heyman. "I will beat Brock Lesnar until he disappears back into the hype from which he came."

[Susan "Poison" Candy]

May 17, 2019 6:43:40 GMT -5 mike1287 said:

OMG Kevin Nash WTF I thought he was dead LOL

CM Punk: *directed towards Kevin Nash* This is the sound your knees make when you walk. Click. Click.

[Vice honcho room temperature]

2 that I loved from when he fought Jeff Hardy in summer 2009 after he beat up Jeff and they did a stretcher job.

As the paramedics try to go the short way and CM Punk just yells at them "Go Around" standing in their way. And then while they are working on Jeff "Fix him so I can break him again"

[ASYLUMHAUSEN]

May 16, 2019 18:33:38 GMT -5 britishbulldog said:

May 16, 2019 17:57:05 GMT -5 @notoriousnd22 said:

“Your arms are just too short to box with god” was actually a badass like from him.

Stollen from kid rock

Personally, I'd believe it was 'stolen' from the Broadway musical before I'd believe CM "I wore a Misfits ripoff Straight Edge shirt in the Jericho Street Fight" Punk 'stole' from Kid f***ing Rock