The appeal of Steven Segal in the 80/90s

[Lance Uppercut]

What was up with that?

I thought it was just me who didn’t care for him but that thread about his daughter was a barrel of laughs about how much his movies suck.

I mean, I’m admittedly more of a Schwarzenegger and Van Damme guy. Crazy accents and non stop guns or flippy shit was my jam. But Segal just seemed so slow and always gave off a “Way too into japan” vibe that annoyed me greatly. I’m not a Chuck Norris guy either but at least he was a bit more mobile.

[Limity (BLM)]

My first exposure to him was Under Siege. He represented a departure from the normal action movie fighting styles, and so was very intriguing.

[Glitch]

Segal flicks were more like gritty crime dramas that happen to feature martial arts. Which is what set him apart from Van Damme and Norris.

[I'm Team Bayley and Indi]

My favourite film of his was Executive Decision

Something about Seagal was never appealing to me

['Foretold' Joker]

Under Siege is great, as is ^Executive Decision and Hard to Kill. The rest are average, poor or 'direct to the dvd bargain bin in the back of the store'.

His cameo in Machete is fun though.

As an aside; This review of Contract to Kill made me laugh out loud earlier in the year.

The rare Steven Seagal movie to open in American theaters, Contract To Kill is so crude and anti-cinematic—so f***ing bad—that it becomes its own parody. It is a treasure, as are all of the god-awful movies put out by the onetime black belt with the help of his dedicated team of “whatever, sure” men. (This is writer-director Keoni Waxman’s third such film this year.) Seagal, in his triangular Bela-Lugosi-in-Dracula toupee and his clothes picked straight from a big-and-tall outlet store and his orange prescription Oakleys, walks stiffly and very slowly. It is possible that he never once bends at the waist. Most of the movie, he spends sitting down or walking (again, slowly) up and down flights of stairs. There is a love scene—and, Jesus, what a love scene. His fully dressed body is lowered over a naked woman like a drawbridge. He doesn’t take off his glasses. He never takes off his glasses. Also, he doesn’t drive, which is a shame, because it is a well-documented fact that Seagal is the worst fake driver in Hollywood; this might be the first time that green screen—really awful green screen—has been used to make it look like an actor is just sitting in a parked car. Overall, he gives the kind of performance traditionally associated with stars who died during filming. And yet, Seagal is in almost every scene.

Here are some relevant facts about Contract To Kill: It was made in Romania; its cast is composed mostly of Romanians; it takes place in Mexico and Turkey. The Turkish and Mexican locals are played by Romanians, and it’s truly something to see a thin, pasty guy who looks like he was just let go of his cashier position at Mega Image yell, “Move it, gringo!” or “Hey, ese!” at an American sort-of star with a printer-cartridge dye job. Seagal’s character—named John Harmon, though not like that matters—is both a retired DEA agent and a retired CIA agent, and he has been brought back to fight a secret alliance of cartels and terrorists by a CIA handler who is also definitely Romanian. The script is ludicrous; this is a given. The acting is laughable. One might, as always, point out Seagal’s reliance on stunt doubles for everything that doesn’t involve sitting or walking at an unhurried pace. In a car chase scene, the driving is done by a double poorly concealed behind heavily tinted windows, with cuts to the green-screened Seagal whenever the car comes to a stop. There is an excruciatingly long early scene in which Harmon is menaced by a remote-controlled drone with a plastic assault rifle glued to the bottom. The effects can’t really be called effects.

But the combination of unfiltered vanity and unbelievable laziness is exactly what makes a Steven Seagal movie. The star only plays wise, throat-chopping badasses, but he can’t be bothered to stand up or learn his dialogue. He speaks every line as though he were hazily remembering it, with plenty of uhs and ums. At one point, he is composited into a shot of a tunnel while the camera bobs around to make it look like Harmon is walking, because Seagal himself can’t walk down a tunnel. It is not sincere Ed Wood-ian incompetence that makes a movie like Contract To Kill, but a complete absence of any traits apart from ego. There are scenes that exist solely so Harmon can share his deep thoughts on geopolitics to an audience of thoughtfully nodding characters. (Of Puerto Rico, he says, “They have a situation. It’s kind of very distinct.”) Seagal looks awful, sounds terrible, and regularly appears to be winded. Objectively, Contract To Kill is the most carelessly made movie to be released theatrically by a major studio in a few years; its standards may even be called negligent. It belongs in a museum, along with all of the other Seagal curios.

[SmashTV]

He must have some sort of appeal, he was married to Kelly le Brock.

[thatloser]

My mum loves Steven Seagal to the point where she can watch the same film of his for days in the row. And I have to say I like his first three or four films but after that something changes, he shoves in all these cultural references for seemingly no reason and made them to pander to his ego.

For example Under Siege 1, Steven is a ex SEAL who is a cook on the ship, a lot of people dismiss him especially the secondary villain who views him as little more than a cook, and spends the movie getting frustrated with him. Now you go and watch Under Siege 2, and most of the dialogue, including the villains is basically just how great he is.

And what get's really noticeable in latter movies is how he doesn't do most of his stunts anymore, he can barely throw a kick without the camera switching shots to hide the fact it's a stand in, in fact in one of his movies you can clearly see he has a stand in for just sitting down at a laptop...

[Ryushinku]

I never was a fan, though Under Siege is good. Notably, good in the ways it's not a regular Segal film. However, I can see why Segal became popular.

His style of fighting was both fresh and brutally efficient, different from the haymaker fistfights or big kicking karate/kung fu stuff at the time. The old Clint Eastwood western style of the whispering guy in black kicking everyone's ass is a reliable old trope. And, to begin with, he was in good shape to go with his tall height, so he looked a physical threat with just enough philosophical mysticism to get by on.

The problem came with his colossal bloated ego, and then increasingly a body to match and a hairstyle of purest astroturf. All those hokey declarations about being trained by super special secret black ops teams or being the reincarnation of a Buddhist teacher and all that kinda junk just came across as laughable. Being a jerkass on set to actors, stuntmen and directors alike, allegations of sexual abuse and worse off set, his rumoured financial ties to pretty shady mob characters that put his straight-to-DVD flicks of the past couple decades in a different light as more of a monetary necessity rather than any pretentions of great cinema, his enthusiastic support for Putin and Russia and so on...it's an awful lot of red flags.

[arrogantmodel]

He was more of the silent ass kicker. Roman Reigns should be early 90s Segal.

I feel like Brandon Lee gets overlooked due to The Crow and his death, but Rapid Fire and Showdown in Little Tokyo are phenomenal and awesomely cheesey action flicks.

[Stu]

Worst SNL host ever.

[The Dark Order Inferno]

He was cool, handsome and had a fair amount of charisma and could deliver lines fairly well without a heavy accent or unintentional comedy. Of course, by the time the mid 90s rolled around, he turned into sexual harassment pumpkin.

[Nr1Humanoid]

When his movie still had American production values his films were great, since that, not so much.

[Limity (BLM)]

Dec 10, 2019 7:45:39 GMT -5 'Foretold' Joker said:

Under Siege is great, as is ^Executive Decision and Hard to Kill. The rest are average, poor or 'direct to the dvd bargain bin in the back of the store'.

His cameo in Machete is fun though.

As an aside; This review of Contract to Kill made me laugh out loud earlier in the year.

The rare Steven Seagal movie to open in American theaters, Contract To Kill is so crude and anti-cinematic—so f***ing bad—that it becomes its own parody. It is a treasure, as are all of the god-awful movies put out by the onetime black belt with the help of his dedicated team of “whatever, sure” men. (This is writer-director Keoni Waxman’s third such film this year.) Seagal, in his triangular Bela-Lugosi-in-Dracula toupee and his clothes picked straight from a big-and-tall outlet store and his orange prescription Oakleys, walks stiffly and very slowly. It is possible that he never once bends at the waist. Most of the movie, he spends sitting down or walking (again, slowly) up and down flights of stairs. There is a love scene—and, Jesus, what a love scene. His fully dressed body is lowered over a naked woman like a drawbridge. He doesn’t take off his glasses. He never takes off his glasses. Also, he doesn’t drive, which is a shame, because it is a well-documented fact that Seagal is the worst fake driver in Hollywood; this might be the first time that green screen—really awful green screen—has been used to make it look like an actor is just sitting in a parked car. Overall, he gives the kind of performance traditionally associated with stars who died during filming. And yet, Seagal is in almost every scene.

Here are some relevant facts about Contract To Kill: It was made in Romania; its cast is composed mostly of Romanians; it takes place in Mexico and Turkey. The Turkish and Mexican locals are played by Romanians, and it’s truly something to see a thin, pasty guy who looks like he was just let go of his cashier position at Mega Image yell, “Move it, gringo!” or “Hey, ese!” at an American sort-of star with a printer-cartridge dye job. Seagal’s character—named John Harmon, though not like that matters—is both a retired DEA agent and a retired CIA agent, and he has been brought back to fight a secret alliance of cartels and terrorists by a CIA handler who is also definitely Romanian. The script is ludicrous; this is a given. The acting is laughable. One might, as always, point out Seagal’s reliance on stunt doubles for everything that doesn’t involve sitting or walking at an unhurried pace. In a car chase scene, the driving is done by a double poorly concealed behind heavily tinted windows, with cuts to the green-screened Seagal whenever the car comes to a stop. There is an excruciatingly long early scene in which Harmon is menaced by a remote-controlled drone with a plastic assault rifle glued to the bottom. The effects can’t really be called effects.

But the combination of unfiltered vanity and unbelievable laziness is exactly what makes a Steven Seagal movie. The star only plays wise, throat-chopping badasses, but he can’t be bothered to stand up or learn his dialogue. He speaks every line as though he were hazily remembering it, with plenty of uhs and ums. At one point, he is composited into a shot of a tunnel while the camera bobs around to make it look like Harmon is walking, because Seagal himself can’t walk down a tunnel. It is not sincere Ed Wood-ian incompetence that makes a movie like Contract To Kill, but a complete absence of any traits apart from ego. There are scenes that exist solely so Harmon can share his deep thoughts on geopolitics to an audience of thoughtfully nodding characters. (Of Puerto Rico, he says, “They have a situation. It’s kind of very distinct.”) Seagal looks awful, sounds terrible, and regularly appears to be winded. Objectively, Contract To Kill is the most carelessly made movie to be released theatrically by a major studio in a few years; its standards may even be called negligent. It belongs in a museum, along with all of the other Seagal curios.

Reading that, I had to go watch some clips. Poor Seagal, he needs to get a good night's sleep.

[Deleted]

Dec 10, 2019 7:45:39 GMT -5 'Foretold' Joker said:

Under Siege is great, as is ^Executive Decision and Hard to Kill. The rest are average, poor or 'direct to the dvd bargain bin in the back of the store'.

His cameo in Machete is fun though.

As an aside; This review of Contract to Kill made me laugh out loud earlier in the year.

The rare Steven Seagal movie to open in American theaters, Contract To Kill is so crude and anti-cinematic—so f***ing bad—that it becomes its own parody. It is a treasure, as are all of the god-awful movies put out by the onetime black belt with the help of his dedicated team of “whatever, sure” men. (This is writer-director Keoni Waxman’s third such film this year.) Seagal, in his triangular Bela-Lugosi-in-Dracula toupee and his clothes picked straight from a big-and-tall outlet store and his orange prescription Oakleys, walks stiffly and very slowly. It is possible that he never once bends at the waist. Most of the movie, he spends sitting down or walking (again, slowly) up and down flights of stairs. There is a love scene—and, Jesus, what a love scene. His fully dressed body is lowered over a naked woman like a drawbridge. He doesn’t take off his glasses. He never takes off his glasses. Also, he doesn’t drive, which is a shame, because it is a well-documented fact that Seagal is the worst fake driver in Hollywood; this might be the first time that green screen—really awful green screen—has been used to make it look like an actor is just sitting in a parked car. Overall, he gives the kind of performance traditionally associated with stars who died during filming. And yet, Seagal is in almost every scene.

Here are some relevant facts about Contract To Kill: It was made in Romania; its cast is composed mostly of Romanians; it takes place in Mexico and Turkey. The Turkish and Mexican locals are played by Romanians, and it’s truly something to see a thin, pasty guy who looks like he was just let go of his cashier position at Mega Image yell, “Move it, gringo!” or “Hey, ese!” at an American sort-of star with a printer-cartridge dye job. Seagal’s character—named John Harmon, though not like that matters—is both a retired DEA agent and a retired CIA agent, and he has been brought back to fight a secret alliance of cartels and terrorists by a CIA handler who is also definitely Romanian. The script is ludicrous; this is a given. The acting is laughable. One might, as always, point out Seagal’s reliance on stunt doubles for everything that doesn’t involve sitting or walking at an unhurried pace. In a car chase scene, the driving is done by a double poorly concealed behind heavily tinted windows, with cuts to the green-screened Seagal whenever the car comes to a stop. There is an excruciatingly long early scene in which Harmon is menaced by a remote-controlled drone with a plastic assault rifle glued to the bottom. The effects can’t really be called effects.

But the combination of unfiltered vanity and unbelievable laziness is exactly what makes a Steven Seagal movie. The star only plays wise, throat-chopping badasses, but he can’t be bothered to stand up or learn his dialogue. He speaks every line as though he were hazily remembering it, with plenty of uhs and ums. At one point, he is composited into a shot of a tunnel while the camera bobs around to make it look like Harmon is walking, because Seagal himself can’t walk down a tunnel. It is not sincere Ed Wood-ian incompetence that makes a movie like Contract To Kill, but a complete absence of any traits apart from ego. There are scenes that exist solely so Harmon can share his deep thoughts on geopolitics to an audience of thoughtfully nodding characters. (Of Puerto Rico, he says, “They have a situation. It’s kind of very distinct.”) Seagal looks awful, sounds terrible, and regularly appears to be winded. Objectively, Contract To Kill is the most carelessly made movie to be released theatrically by a major studio in a few years; its standards may even be called negligent. It belongs in a museum, along with all of the other Seagal curios.

This movie has my girl Jemma Dallender in it so I am obliged to say I cannot completely hate this movie....but damn if it aint a laugh riot for all the wrong film making reasons.

[ogreknee]

Hard to kill and glimmer man

[xtremehorseman]

His first few movies were legit and he had a unique style that set him apart from the other action stars of the time. Here is a video that goes into it a bit

[adamclark52]

I watched Under Siege every time it was on tv for the Cake Scene

[Ultimo Gallos]

I never got his appeal. But saw the first 6 or so of his films cause my father was a big fan. Even now if he catches a Segal film on tv he will watch it. "All he does is break shit,it's either bones or glass. Or both at once!"

[Deleted]

I’m still annoyed he was never in an expendables movie.

[cabbageboy]

My dad was a big Seagal fan. He would watch Above the Law practically on a loop. You have to go in realizing that Seagal was radically, and I mean radically, different than the other action stars of that late 80s/early 90s era. He was seriously vicious and violent at every turn. He was less about humor than other stars, though he occasionally would toss out a one liner. Even his one liners would be vicious though ("I'll take you to the bank, Senator Trent....to the BLOOD BANK!").

The problem is that Seagal's heyday was fairly shot lived, roughly 1988-93. He was kind of a cult action star early on, but Under Siege was a huge hit and made him more of a mainstream star and it really went to his head. On Deadly Ground and Under Siege 2 were ego trips of the highest order and then by the second half of the 90s his sort of B grade actioners were fading in popularity anyway. There's just only so much you can do with a guy that doesn't sell anything for his heels and doesn't really rally the audience behind him. It's jarring to compare his stuff to Van Damme and see how much better Van Damme was at getting his ass kicked and making that babyface comeback for the win. If my dad was all about Seagal I would be more of a JCVD fan.

That said, if I needed help with a group of voodoo practicing Jamaican drug dealers I know who to call.