I got told off for calling my granddad 'granddad'.

[autisticgeordie]

Let me give a bit of background, my granddad isn't my family by blood, he was originally just my mum's next door neighbour when my mum lived with my dad in our old village when I was born. But he's been there for us through thick and thin and we've been there for him through thick and thin.

But, after my nan died, my grandddad got moved into a care home (he was going in one, anyway.) and I would often go and see him every second Monday since I like my routine. Often, my granddad's biological side of the family are there, especially his granddaughter, I've had no issues with her before. 

But, today, out of the blue, she genuinely said that "It offends me when you call him granddad, because he's not your granddad, he's not a blood relative. It's offensive when you call him that."

I decided to leave early after that, I'm still pretty taken aback by it, like, maybe it's wrong for me to make a mountain out of a molehill, but we've been there for my granddad more than her side of the family; even if I'm not technically related to my granddad by blood.

[Spider2024]

(I'm tempted to make some Boondocks jokes, but maybe later.)

That is weird. Especially to say such out of nowhere. My dad (who is 79 years old) can occasionally get weird with wanting us children to refer to him or mom (75 years old) as certain terms. The weirdest is one day him suddenly saying "don't call her 'Mother' call her 'Mom', it's a matter of respect!" because he thought one of us siblings was calling mom "Mother" in a patronizing way. But I think he was just having an angry day, because that's the only time he ever said that specifically. Also, dad's old and senile.

Blood or not, he's your grandfather too. All good stepdads and stepmoms will tell their new stepchildren "Call me dad/mom" so yeah, nothing wrong with you calling him that. Sorry not sorry to the biological granddaughter whom it offended, but you're very close to him too.

[Cvslfc123]

My Dad's father made everyone including his children and grandchildren call him by his first name.

I'm guessing it's because he was only 18 when my Dad was born. Unfortunately he had a drinking problem that eventually lead to his passing when he was in his mid 50s.

[Milkman Norm]

I assume from your screen name that your are someone who has been diagnosed with ASD. I understand that. With that being said you have created several threads in which members of your family or family friends overreact to very little things. Without more information I can only make the following possible assumptions.

1. They are all assholes

2. You have been misinterpreting social ques prior the events

3. Both 1&3

[I'm Team Bayley and Indi]

If he's never had any issue with you calling him Grandad, then what his family thinks is not relevant

[Hurbster]

Tricky, blood can be quite important for some people.

[edgestar]

I'm sorry that this has upset you, bit I do see her reaction as something to not get too angry (?) about. He's in a care facility, and her seeing that, is scary. It doesn't justify what she said to you, but, she's seeing her grandfather need help, when she's most likely seen him as a strong male form, in her life.

People refer to their friends as "aunt" or "uncle", without blood relation. It's okay. Some of my mom's friends kids call her "grandma", and neither my brother or I care, because it's a sign of love.

[Pooh Carlson]

So there's no blood OR marriage connection, right? Either way, if he doesn't mind it then that's all that should matter.

[Hit Girl]

In such a situation you say "bitch, shut the f*** up"

[TWERKIN' MAGGLE]

Tell her to eat a reef.

[SmashTV]

My partner is eight years older than me, has two adult children from a previous marriage. They’ve always called me by my Christian name, but through them I have two grandchildren. They’re five and six and both call me granddad, and while I was uncertain at first, now I’d have it no other way.

Under the circumstances it sounds like an emotional time, so hopefully it was just her - unfairly - taking things out on you.

Sorry to hear you’ve been pulled up on this, bud. No matter what they might say, he’s your granddad to you, and that’s all that counts.

[Rave]

Dec 23, 2019 12:33:03 GMT -5 edgestar said:

People refer to their friends as "aunt" or "uncle", without blood relation. It's okay. Some of my mom's friends kids call her "grandma", and neither my brother or I care, because it's a sign of love.

This. My mom's oldest friends are my godparents and I've referred to them as "aunt" and "uncle" my entire life. I think it was how they were introduced to me, I honestly don't remember.

What matters is if he's OK with it. If he is, then she should keep her opinions to herself on the matter.

[Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill]

Dec 23, 2019 13:31:14 GMT -5 TWERKIN' MAGGLE said:

Tell her to eat a reef.

She needs some Wonton beef Stew.

[Glitch]

Sounds like she's got some jealous resentment toward you. Not your fault things are the way they are with her and granddad.