Post by Sharpy Snow on Feb 11, 2007 8:44:51 GMT -5
I just restumbled on something I did ages ago
Back on Ocotober 1st, me and my friend Liam were bored on msn. That night we came to the conclussion that Pokemon's Ash Ketchum...
IS A DICK!
Using the latest technology (A.K.A. Lies, Propeganda, twisting of the truth and Incorrect Memories) we came up with just a few reasons that show why Ash really is a dick:
------------------------------------------------------
Mew and Mewtwo were having a possible match of the century, so Ash, seeing as he wasn't had in the match, had to make himself the centre of attention.
Literaly.
So, all awesome fighting stops and all eyes go on a persumable dead Ash. Everyone, even complete strangers he met approximatly 0.5 seconds before hand are crying. Seeing these tears, and knowing he has all attention, Ash jumps back up fine and dandy (After making his supposadly friends worry so much) and declares a halt to all fighting everywhere.
---------------------------
Ash has promised to return to a number of the Pokémon he left, but has failed to reclaim any as yet.
---------------------------
Ash dosn't care for Pokemon at all, in that he not only turned up late for his first day, but he also embaressed his whole town by wearing his pj's and that he booked in on a day where 3 people were already going in to claim their starting pokemon out of a choice of 3.
---------------------------
Charmander still belonged to another trainer when Ash caught it. Sure, the other trainer was an equally big if not bigger dick, but the fact remains that Ash stole another trainers pokemon and yet punish's Team Rocket weekly for attempting the exact same thing.
---------------------------
Ash strapped his Pikachu up to a shoddy, home made electrical charger to make Pikachu stronger. Oh no, training in the woods wasn't good enough for him, he had to endanger his pokemons own health.
---------------------------
AND NOW FOR SOME POKE BATTLE MIS CONDUCT!
He then proceded to win his first gym badge by activating the sprinkler systems just to gain a cheap advantage
---------------------------
Ash seduced Misty's sisters, so that he could win his 2nd badge with minimal effort.
---------------------------
He started things off with his Pikachu by dragging it along with a cord around it's neck area.
---------------------------
HE BELIEVES BADGES MAKE HIM SUPERIOR TO EVERYONE ELSE. EVEN THOSE WHO HAVE THE EXACT SAME BADGE!
---------------------------
Ash never goes back to see the hundreds of trainers he says he will go back to visit some times.
---------------------------
Ash took a forest's only gaurdian, Bulbasaur and took him as his own personal servent. Have we heard from this forest's pokemon again? No, because they've all been eaten by a Ursaring.
---------------------------
He took a Haunter from his two best friends, leaving those two alone without the life of the party and gave him away just 10 hours later to a woman who had just turned his two friends into dolls.
On a similar note, he also won this badge through sinister means.
---------------------------
He made his Metapod fight a Pinsir, which may have caused death for poor Meta. It didn't, however, he seriously hurt this Pinsir by shattering it's irreplacable pinsers. Ash got away without even a scoulding
But had it been anyone else, Officer Jenny would have surely arrested them for Pokemon cruelty
---------------------------
Meowth went to great lengths to raise Togepi. Meowth has purpose in life again and felt like a father.
Ash then stole the egg away from poor Meowth only for Misty to get Togepi 3 seconds later. No thanks to Meowth was given.
So not only is Ash a dick, but Misty is a bitch.
---------------------------
SPEAKING OF MISTY BEING A BITCH!
Misty is also pulling Brock away from women before they can even properly introduce themselves. No wonder the poor bloke never finds love.
---------------------------
They make Brock do all the cooking.
---------------------------
They make Brock carry all the bags.
---------------------------
They make Brock carry the maps, so they can blame him if they get lost.
No wonder Brock left the journey early.
---------------------------
Ash refuses to give Primeape his favourite hat, because it is special to him and he would never be without it.
Upon going to Hoen, Ash is wearing a new hat, making the past excuses null and void.
---------------------------
Ash took Mankey under his wing and raised him to a Primape. Together, they won the P1 championship belt.
He then left Primeape with a trainer who already was training Hitmonchan to be number 1. Thus, ol Primey had no chance of retaining the belt.
---------------------------
Ash won't even let Team Rocket steal petty things like small pieces of fruit, because he's an arsehole who would rather see people starve. Even berries from tree's, which are public property for anyone. Team Rocket take food legaly and STILL Ash blows them up.
---------------------------
He keeps Pikachu out of his ball at all times, then wonders how Pika got the flu.
---------------------------
He ignores every other pokemon aside from Pikachu, to the point where he leaves everyone else behind on his journeys to boost Pika's ego.
---------------------------
He squirted ketchup into a Scyther's eyes, sending him into permanent beserk mode.
No apology was made.
---------------------------
He has broke out of prison once.
---------------------------
He has snuck onto private property countless times.
---------------------------
He traded his Butterfree, ONLY to trade it back minutes later, putting the other trainer at risk because the ship was only, y'know? SINKING!
In other news, the captian was also an idiotic dick.
---------------------------
He complained that his Krabby was too tiny, with Krabby in earshot.
---------------------------
He sends Pidgeotto to search the premesis in extreme conditions
---------------------------
He broke several health and safety regulations by flying into an arena on a burnt bike (He has a nack for wrecking these) with no concern for the people below.
He also arrived for an official match 2 hours and 28 minutes late, and should have been disqualified 2 hours and 8 minutes beforehand.
---------------------------
He greatly injured a snorlax in an attempt to awaken it from his peaceful sleep.
---------------------------
He totally messed up official Olympic Torch Carrying planning by whining and complaining that he wanted a go.
Half way through the carrying of the torch.
At least 3 world class pokemon trainers missed out on this momentous oppertunity because of him.
---------------------------
He actually does know it's Team Rocket each time. He just knows he'll look like a greater hero if he attacks them second.
---------------------------
4kids exprerimented by making a series without Ash.
Ash complained, he's back to winning every week. The Ash-less series cannot be found anywhere (even Youtube) and all new trainers introduced have been wiped from history.
---------------------------
He is the only living person known to have seen Ho-oh, a Legendary Pokémon that allegedly disappeared from the world three centuries ago.
And he didn't even take a bloody picture.
Liam:
To be fair,he prolly didnt have a camera
Sharpy:
First day of adventuring, and your saying he wouldn't even have a disposable one? NONSENSE! Why, on my first day of adventure I would make sure to pack a camera
---------------------------
Ash also has a tendency to run behind desks and answer private calls.
---------------------------
Ash is the Chosen One
This mere fact makes me want to scream and kick 1000 Igglybuffs.
---------------------------
He often has no concern for his friends safety
---------------------------
'Pikachu stays with Ash even when he is not on Ash's party; when Ash battles Gary in the Silver Conference, he uses Tauros, Heracross, Muk, Bayleef, Snorlax and Charizard, while Pikachu stays on the sidelines.'
Thus Ash breaks the basic rules of Pokemon, by carrying seven at a time.
---------------------------
He makes fools of people by beating them incredibly easily. Not only that, but this is usually in an embarresing fasion and with a pokemon that shouldn't be able to win the battle at all.
---------------------------
Ash had no problem releasing ANY of his pokemon.
However, the second Pikachu even HINTED at leaving, he broke down into tears, whined and complained, making poor Pika feel guilty and go back to Ash. Ash would 'chear up' knowing he got his way.
---------------------------
HE BREAKS POKEMON PHYSICS
Electric does not beat Rock or Ground, yet he does. Several times. In One Hit.
---------------------------
MORE POKE BATTLE MIS CONDUCT!
Ash orders Pikachu to 'TWIST' Cubone's skull around.
While I'm sure Skull Twist isn't an official move, I know this tactic was very dirty and could have broke poor Cubones nose or neck. Ash then ordered an relentless beat down upon the poor blinded Cubone.
---------------------------
He mocks Mistys fear of Bugs ... by shoving bugs into her face
Not only that, but this is endagering the poor bug.
---------------------------
The one with all the prehistoric pokemon
Where do I begin?
a) Goes into off limits zone
b) Dosn't wear a helmet
c) Steal's a rare poke egg ... AND DOSN'T ALERT ANY SCIENTIST OF THIS POSSIBLE NEW DISCOVERY
d) Awake's angry dorment creatures
e) Leave's two people and their pokemon down in this hole with dangerous pokemon
f) Dosn't inform anyone of these pokemon, which with the proper caring, could finally increase their numbers from near extinction.
---------------------------
He greatly damaged Viridian gym by blowing up team rocket and (once again) earning his badge the wrong way. The gym leader at the time was unsanctioned, and as such the match should not have been allowed.
---------------------------
When Misty finds someone else she loves, and the man actually loves her back, he gets 'jealous' and challanges him for her love. However, upon winning, he shows Misty 0 love, leaving the other two members of the love triangle depressed and single.
---------------------------
Jessie caught a Shelder.
Not only that, she caught it fair and square.
Shelder latched onto a Slowpoke's tail, and before Jessie could call back this now powerful Pokemon she was sent blasting off again by Ash.
And no, this wouldn't have been stealing. While it WAS being monitored, the slowpoke was STILL a wild pokemon, thus ownership rightfully belonged to Jessie.
It seems Ash won't even let Team Rocket catch Pokemon the old fasioned way now.
---------------------------
He destroyed thousands of pounds of high tech machinery on a special adventure island with regular tours. He could have easily put the company out of buisness, yet he paid nothing for the damages.
---------------------------
He throws rocks at Pokemon (Namely Spearow) WHO ARE NOT IN THE SAFARI ZONE!
---------------------------
Ash hardly even goes to see his mum. Only going like one day a year to eat and get his clothes washed. (Which may I add he wears every day and never washs himself. Brock probably does it I guess) He hardly ever even calls.
HOWEVER! When a poor little girl who has recently lost both parents tries to bring her in as an adoptive mother (We will not discuss how the relationship with Entei would have worked) Ash runs non stop to try and stop this little girl's dasterdly plan and take his mother back. (In the process he leaves his two friends behind to fight losing battles against the adult form of the girl, forces her to turn back into little kid mode, make a mockery of Entei and practically eliminating an uncommon race of Unknowns)
He then procedes to treat his mum in the same uncaring manner as before.
But hey, at least the kids dad did turn out to be alive. But this wasn't known until long after Ash leaves. So Ash stole a little girls adoptive parents from her for his own selfish gain and then left her in a large mansion alone.
If that's not a dick I don't know what is.
---------------------------
And just when were starting to tolerate him......HE CHANGES HIS VOICE ACTOR!
------------------------------------------------------
And that Ladies and Gentlemen, is why Ash Ketchum is the biggest dick since Superman.
Back on Ocotober 1st, me and my friend Liam were bored on msn. That night we came to the conclussion that Pokemon's Ash Ketchum...
IS A DICK!
Using the latest technology (A.K.A. Lies, Propeganda, twisting of the truth and Incorrect Memories) we came up with just a few reasons that show why Ash really is a dick:
------------------------------------------------------
Mew and Mewtwo were having a possible match of the century, so Ash, seeing as he wasn't had in the match, had to make himself the centre of attention.
Literaly.
So, all awesome fighting stops and all eyes go on a persumable dead Ash. Everyone, even complete strangers he met approximatly 0.5 seconds before hand are crying. Seeing these tears, and knowing he has all attention, Ash jumps back up fine and dandy (After making his supposadly friends worry so much) and declares a halt to all fighting everywhere.
---------------------------
Ash has promised to return to a number of the Pokémon he left, but has failed to reclaim any as yet.
---------------------------
Ash dosn't care for Pokemon at all, in that he not only turned up late for his first day, but he also embaressed his whole town by wearing his pj's and that he booked in on a day where 3 people were already going in to claim their starting pokemon out of a choice of 3.
---------------------------
Charmander still belonged to another trainer when Ash caught it. Sure, the other trainer was an equally big if not bigger dick, but the fact remains that Ash stole another trainers pokemon and yet punish's Team Rocket weekly for attempting the exact same thing.
---------------------------
Ash strapped his Pikachu up to a shoddy, home made electrical charger to make Pikachu stronger. Oh no, training in the woods wasn't good enough for him, he had to endanger his pokemons own health.
---------------------------
AND NOW FOR SOME POKE BATTLE MIS CONDUCT!
He then proceded to win his first gym badge by activating the sprinkler systems just to gain a cheap advantage
---------------------------
Ash seduced Misty's sisters, so that he could win his 2nd badge with minimal effort.
---------------------------
He started things off with his Pikachu by dragging it along with a cord around it's neck area.
---------------------------
HE BELIEVES BADGES MAKE HIM SUPERIOR TO EVERYONE ELSE. EVEN THOSE WHO HAVE THE EXACT SAME BADGE!
---------------------------
Ash never goes back to see the hundreds of trainers he says he will go back to visit some times.
---------------------------
Ash took a forest's only gaurdian, Bulbasaur and took him as his own personal servent. Have we heard from this forest's pokemon again? No, because they've all been eaten by a Ursaring.
---------------------------
He took a Haunter from his two best friends, leaving those two alone without the life of the party and gave him away just 10 hours later to a woman who had just turned his two friends into dolls.
On a similar note, he also won this badge through sinister means.
---------------------------
He made his Metapod fight a Pinsir, which may have caused death for poor Meta. It didn't, however, he seriously hurt this Pinsir by shattering it's irreplacable pinsers. Ash got away without even a scoulding
But had it been anyone else, Officer Jenny would have surely arrested them for Pokemon cruelty
---------------------------
Meowth went to great lengths to raise Togepi. Meowth has purpose in life again and felt like a father.
Ash then stole the egg away from poor Meowth only for Misty to get Togepi 3 seconds later. No thanks to Meowth was given.
So not only is Ash a dick, but Misty is a bitch.
---------------------------
SPEAKING OF MISTY BEING A BITCH!
Misty is also pulling Brock away from women before they can even properly introduce themselves. No wonder the poor bloke never finds love.
---------------------------
They make Brock do all the cooking.
---------------------------
They make Brock carry all the bags.
---------------------------
They make Brock carry the maps, so they can blame him if they get lost.
No wonder Brock left the journey early.
---------------------------
Ash refuses to give Primeape his favourite hat, because it is special to him and he would never be without it.
Upon going to Hoen, Ash is wearing a new hat, making the past excuses null and void.
---------------------------
Ash took Mankey under his wing and raised him to a Primape. Together, they won the P1 championship belt.
He then left Primeape with a trainer who already was training Hitmonchan to be number 1. Thus, ol Primey had no chance of retaining the belt.
---------------------------
Ash won't even let Team Rocket steal petty things like small pieces of fruit, because he's an arsehole who would rather see people starve. Even berries from tree's, which are public property for anyone. Team Rocket take food legaly and STILL Ash blows them up.
---------------------------
He keeps Pikachu out of his ball at all times, then wonders how Pika got the flu.
---------------------------
He ignores every other pokemon aside from Pikachu, to the point where he leaves everyone else behind on his journeys to boost Pika's ego.
---------------------------
He squirted ketchup into a Scyther's eyes, sending him into permanent beserk mode.
No apology was made.
---------------------------
He has broke out of prison once.
---------------------------
He has snuck onto private property countless times.
---------------------------
He traded his Butterfree, ONLY to trade it back minutes later, putting the other trainer at risk because the ship was only, y'know? SINKING!
In other news, the captian was also an idiotic dick.
---------------------------
He complained that his Krabby was too tiny, with Krabby in earshot.
---------------------------
He sends Pidgeotto to search the premesis in extreme conditions
---------------------------
He broke several health and safety regulations by flying into an arena on a burnt bike (He has a nack for wrecking these) with no concern for the people below.
He also arrived for an official match 2 hours and 28 minutes late, and should have been disqualified 2 hours and 8 minutes beforehand.
---------------------------
He greatly injured a snorlax in an attempt to awaken it from his peaceful sleep.
---------------------------
He totally messed up official Olympic Torch Carrying planning by whining and complaining that he wanted a go.
Half way through the carrying of the torch.
At least 3 world class pokemon trainers missed out on this momentous oppertunity because of him.
---------------------------
He actually does know it's Team Rocket each time. He just knows he'll look like a greater hero if he attacks them second.
---------------------------
4kids exprerimented by making a series without Ash.
Ash complained, he's back to winning every week. The Ash-less series cannot be found anywhere (even Youtube) and all new trainers introduced have been wiped from history.
---------------------------
He is the only living person known to have seen Ho-oh, a Legendary Pokémon that allegedly disappeared from the world three centuries ago.
And he didn't even take a bloody picture.
Liam:
To be fair,he prolly didnt have a camera
Sharpy:
First day of adventuring, and your saying he wouldn't even have a disposable one? NONSENSE! Why, on my first day of adventure I would make sure to pack a camera
---------------------------
Ash also has a tendency to run behind desks and answer private calls.
---------------------------
Ash is the Chosen One
This mere fact makes me want to scream and kick 1000 Igglybuffs.
---------------------------
He often has no concern for his friends safety
---------------------------
'Pikachu stays with Ash even when he is not on Ash's party; when Ash battles Gary in the Silver Conference, he uses Tauros, Heracross, Muk, Bayleef, Snorlax and Charizard, while Pikachu stays on the sidelines.'
Thus Ash breaks the basic rules of Pokemon, by carrying seven at a time.
---------------------------
He makes fools of people by beating them incredibly easily. Not only that, but this is usually in an embarresing fasion and with a pokemon that shouldn't be able to win the battle at all.
---------------------------
Ash had no problem releasing ANY of his pokemon.
However, the second Pikachu even HINTED at leaving, he broke down into tears, whined and complained, making poor Pika feel guilty and go back to Ash. Ash would 'chear up' knowing he got his way.
---------------------------
HE BREAKS POKEMON PHYSICS
Electric does not beat Rock or Ground, yet he does. Several times. In One Hit.
---------------------------
MORE POKE BATTLE MIS CONDUCT!
Ash orders Pikachu to 'TWIST' Cubone's skull around.
While I'm sure Skull Twist isn't an official move, I know this tactic was very dirty and could have broke poor Cubones nose or neck. Ash then ordered an relentless beat down upon the poor blinded Cubone.
---------------------------
He mocks Mistys fear of Bugs ... by shoving bugs into her face
Not only that, but this is endagering the poor bug.
---------------------------
The one with all the prehistoric pokemon
Where do I begin?
a) Goes into off limits zone
b) Dosn't wear a helmet
c) Steal's a rare poke egg ... AND DOSN'T ALERT ANY SCIENTIST OF THIS POSSIBLE NEW DISCOVERY
d) Awake's angry dorment creatures
e) Leave's two people and their pokemon down in this hole with dangerous pokemon
f) Dosn't inform anyone of these pokemon, which with the proper caring, could finally increase their numbers from near extinction.
---------------------------
He greatly damaged Viridian gym by blowing up team rocket and (once again) earning his badge the wrong way. The gym leader at the time was unsanctioned, and as such the match should not have been allowed.
---------------------------
When Misty finds someone else she loves, and the man actually loves her back, he gets 'jealous' and challanges him for her love. However, upon winning, he shows Misty 0 love, leaving the other two members of the love triangle depressed and single.
---------------------------
Jessie caught a Shelder.
Not only that, she caught it fair and square.
Shelder latched onto a Slowpoke's tail, and before Jessie could call back this now powerful Pokemon she was sent blasting off again by Ash.
And no, this wouldn't have been stealing. While it WAS being monitored, the slowpoke was STILL a wild pokemon, thus ownership rightfully belonged to Jessie.
It seems Ash won't even let Team Rocket catch Pokemon the old fasioned way now.
---------------------------
He destroyed thousands of pounds of high tech machinery on a special adventure island with regular tours. He could have easily put the company out of buisness, yet he paid nothing for the damages.
---------------------------
He throws rocks at Pokemon (Namely Spearow) WHO ARE NOT IN THE SAFARI ZONE!
---------------------------
Ash hardly even goes to see his mum. Only going like one day a year to eat and get his clothes washed. (Which may I add he wears every day and never washs himself. Brock probably does it I guess) He hardly ever even calls.
HOWEVER! When a poor little girl who has recently lost both parents tries to bring her in as an adoptive mother (We will not discuss how the relationship with Entei would have worked) Ash runs non stop to try and stop this little girl's dasterdly plan and take his mother back. (In the process he leaves his two friends behind to fight losing battles against the adult form of the girl, forces her to turn back into little kid mode, make a mockery of Entei and practically eliminating an uncommon race of Unknowns)
He then procedes to treat his mum in the same uncaring manner as before.
But hey, at least the kids dad did turn out to be alive. But this wasn't known until long after Ash leaves. So Ash stole a little girls adoptive parents from her for his own selfish gain and then left her in a large mansion alone.
If that's not a dick I don't know what is.
---------------------------
And just when were starting to tolerate him......HE CHANGES HIS VOICE ACTOR!
------------------------------------------------------
And that Ladies and Gentlemen, is why Ash Ketchum is the biggest dick since Superman.
helped $lim jinx NXT. Woops
