What WON’T Tony Khan’s Announcement Be?

[Ecks Ecks Ringout Ecks Ecks]

To adequately prepare for whatever the hell the metaverse is, 163 of the 164 currently contracted AEW performers have been released.

Of the resulting funds, half will be allocated to a bleeding-edge computer science firm to develop a virtual reality representation of Nick Comoroto with advanced Nick Comoroto AI. This will be the basis for the creation of 6,000 algorithmically generated Nick Comoroto variations. In addition to cheering on your favorite Nick Comoroto in the virtual ring, through the wonders of blockchain technology, you'll be able to purchase your very own non-fungible Nick Comoroto on shopaew.com, with a wide variety of hairstyles and funny outfits to choose from.

The remaining funds will be converted to bitcoin and sent to highly skilled hacker, who will dispatch an army of Nick Comorotos to invade WWE's augmented reality system and lay a beatdown on the giant chocolate Roman Reigns, kicking off the modern equivalent of the Monday Night Wars.

[Oh Cry Me a Screwball]

Feb 26, 2022 14:23:53 GMT -5 IgnahtaSempria said:

"Nick Gage is back, and he is being given an open microphone"

Don't forget him being the new spokesperson for Domino's Pizza.

[Mike Strike]

He remodeled his kitchen. Now it has a giant korean bbq grill in place of the old kitchen island and the double wide fridge is stocked full of nothing but Red Bull.

[gentlemengreg1]

Tag Team Tournament:

Jim Cornette Cup

Winning Tag Team receives Golden Rackets.

[Wieners=$$$]

I'm starting my own football league, and I'll call it "Tony Ball."

["Evil Brood" Jackson Vanik]

AEW has entered into a working relationship with the WWF. That's right. The pandas are back baby!

[Chiral]

"In response to Pat vs. Vince, I am challenging Excalibur to a match at Double or Nothing"

[Kalmia]

He's sold the company to A&W restaurants on Danhausen's advice, and Dynamite will now be a two-hour documentary set in a restaurant, with the wrestlers as staff.

[Ecks Ecks Ringout Ecks Ecks]

Feb 26, 2022 19:25:58 GMT -5 Kalmia said:

He's sold the company to A&W restaurants on Danhausen's advice, and Dynamite will now be a two-hour documentary set in a restaurant, with the wrestlers as staff.

I'd still watch.

[Kalmia]

Feb 26, 2022 19:35:37 GMT -5 Ecks Ecks Ringout Ecks Ecks said:

Feb 26, 2022 19:25:58 GMT -5 Kalmia said:

He's sold the company to A&W restaurants on Danhausen's advice, and Dynamite will now be a two-hour documentary set in a restaurant, with the wrestlers as staff.

I'd still watch.

Honestly, so would I. Especially if they all kept their gimmicks.

[Andy Martin]

Feb 26, 2022 19:11:32 GMT -5 Wieners=$$$ said:

I'm starting my own football league, and I'll call it "Tony Ball."

“The Jacksonville Jaguars will still be terrible, however”

[schizo]

He saved money by switching to geico!

[mystermystery]

"So, in the process of opening The Forbidden Door, I accidentally opened a portal to Hell and released pure evil onto earth. My bad."

[AKIMan64]

The Rock will be the guest host for the upcoming AEW Revolution PPV, as well as to promote the trailer for Black Adam this coming summer.

[thegatewaydrug]

Feb 26, 2022 19:14:23 GMT -5 "Evil Brood" Jackson Vanik said:

AEW has entered into a working relationship with the WWF. That's right. The pandas are back baby!

You can't fool me, TK! That's just Bear Country in new ring gear.

[Oh Cry Me a Screwball]

Paul Wight is investing in another strip maul.

[ASYLUMHAUSEN]

Feb 26, 2022 14:46:08 GMT -5 Xxcjb01xX [PIECE OF: SH-] said:

AEW announces they have officially signed John Cena, and he is contractually obligated to always show up in his Peacemaker outfit.

And his new entrance is the entire opening credits of Peacemaker.

Danhausen is involved as a background dancer

[Sir Woodrow]

Feb 26, 2022 23:24:25 GMT -5 AKIMan64 said:

The Rock will be the guest host for the upcoming AEW Revolution PPV, as well as to promote the trailer for Black Adam this coming summer.

I would f***ing laugh so hard if that happened, next thing you know Roman is getting squashed HARD in record time at Wrestlemania

[Vampiro138]

AEW announced a half hour interview show, hosted by Martin Mull, with the interviews taking place in the Fernwood 2 Nite universe.

[A Platypus Rave]

Feb 26, 2022 19:25:58 GMT -5 Kalmia said:

He's sold the company to A&W restaurants on Danhausen's advice, and Dynamite will now be a two-hour documentary set in a restaurant, with the wrestlers as staff.

Danhausen still will not get his cheeseburger