ASYLUMHAUSEN
Fry's dog Seymour
GIFs | Shitposts | Fun
Posts: 24,499 
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Post by ASYLUMHAUSEN on Aug 24, 2022 23:13:03 GMT -5
*THIS IS A JOKE THREAD. GOOD VIBES AND BAD JOKES ONLY. IT EXISTS ENTIRELY AS A SHELTER IN THE STORM OF WEIRDNESS*
Wow. What a WILD 6 days and counting in AEW-Land huh? all this shit (how much of it has even a kernel of truth I leave up to your own judgement) coming out in such a short amount of time.
Anyway, let’s (again JOKINGLY) speculate on some reasons that caused things to go this far off the proverbial rails…
1. Cody hacked into the Matrix with the help of the Crab People and Downstait’s guitar tech to mess with Tony from afar because he got bored during his surgery rehab.
2. JR’s Big Tater order from Tudors when he was in WV last week had secretly had a voodoo curse placed on it (he was at the Tudors on the West Side of Charleston from what I can see from his Twitter. It’s not out of the realm of possibility considering…)
3. Eddie got some primo PCP from Hector at the White Castle on South Broadway in Younkers and has been quietly lacing everyone’s food in catering with it.
4. ARMBAR.
5. Cocaine…because…well, you know.
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Post by DSR on Aug 24, 2022 23:17:50 GMT -5
Danhausen's curses have bizarre side-effects, apparently?!
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Post by cassonova on Aug 24, 2022 23:20:33 GMT -5
7 Arm...dammit!
Failure to Control Their Narrative.
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Perd
Patti Mayonnaise
Leslie needs to butt out for fear of receiving The Bunghole Buster
Posts: 32,027
Member is Online
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Post by Perd on Aug 24, 2022 23:31:20 GMT -5
Because AEW exists in the same dystopian clown world in which we all reside.
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Xxcjb01xX [PIECE OF: SH-]
FANatic
Writer, Lover of all things Wrestling. Analytical, Critical, Lovable (hopefully). Lets all have fun!
Posts: 237,271
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Post by Xxcjb01xX [PIECE OF: SH-] on Aug 24, 2022 23:39:28 GMT -5
Tony Khan's cocaine dealer turned on him and is now holding him at gunpoint, forcing him to do the weirdest shit possible, because he is also hopped up on the same cocaine.
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Rican
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
July 17, 2011 - HHHe called it
Posts: 16,502
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Post by Rican on Aug 24, 2022 23:43:10 GMT -5
Billy Gunn is a mole sent by Triple H to take the company down from the inside in exchange for a sweet corporate gig after AEW goes under. That damn DX!
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FHgrad99
Vegeta
Never mind that s***, here comes Mongo!
Posts: 9,027
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Post by FHgrad99 on Aug 24, 2022 23:46:01 GMT -5
11. The last full moon had a strange effect on everybody in AEW.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2022 23:46:51 GMT -5
11. Matt Hardy was trying to go for a relaxing dip in the Lake of Reincarnation, but somehow got lost and now the multiverse is in disarray.
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Post by EoE: Well There's Your Problem on Aug 25, 2022 1:02:37 GMT -5
Unresolved sexual tension.
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FHgrad99
Vegeta
Never mind that s***, here comes Mongo!
Posts: 9,027
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Post by FHgrad99 on Aug 25, 2022 1:24:30 GMT -5
14. Somebody didn't tell Tony that having an open bar backstage was a bad idea.
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Post by Super Duper Dragunov on Aug 25, 2022 2:29:30 GMT -5
I'm telling y'all.....once again....when the Hadron Collider was switched on, and some ppl were all "OMG WE'RE IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!"
I'm just saying *motions around to everything*
Vince is gone.
Tony's paradise has bombs going off left and right.
WWE and AEW feels like they've switched sides since then.
I'm telling ya.
Hadron Collider.
#1 reason.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2022 5:26:19 GMT -5
Billy Gunn is a mole sent by Triple H to take the company down from the inside in exchange for a sweet corporate gig after AEW goes under. That damn DX! Tino Sabbatelli being a spy for WWE when he was in AEW for a few months is still my favorite wrestling conspiracy theory ever. |
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Post by CeilingFan on Aug 25, 2022 5:47:27 GMT -5
17-WWE was supposed to grant Roderick Strong a release in January. Their refusal to do so has caused a disruption in the Timestream!
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Fundertaker
El Dandy
Hideo Kojima should direct every ending ever!
Posts: 8,960
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Post by Fundertaker on Aug 25, 2022 6:07:52 GMT -5
Hold #18: The Saskatchewan Spinning Toe-Hold
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ASYLUMHAUSEN
Fry's dog Seymour
GIFs | Shitposts | Fun
Posts: 24,499
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Post by ASYLUMHAUSEN on Aug 25, 2022 9:30:42 GMT -5
19. Somebody finally took Daddy Magic up on his offer of "a taste" and now the entire locker room has brain worms because of it.
20. Garcia's Kangol is sentient and has been spreading disinformation among 'the boys'
21. Keith Lee, in need of some light reading during his time in Charleston last week, stumbled across an old leather bound book in the used book room at Taylor Books downtown and started reading it out loud backstage to Swerve because he found the passages funny. The book? Necronomicon. The leather? Human skin.
22. moss covered three handled family credenza
23. Egon ribbed Danhausen over a recent grail find at a toy store on one of their adventures. In response Danhausen unleashed the MOTHER of all curses...it was akin to wearing a fully functional infinity gauntlet and snapping his fingers.
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Post by Cyno on Aug 25, 2022 9:39:16 GMT -5
Tony Khan lost his USB drive containing company secrets at a Dallas-area Medieval Times.
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Post by HMARK Center on Aug 25, 2022 9:47:48 GMT -5
Chuck Taylor managed to say “shit” on TV.
Somehow, nobody heard him, but the shockwaves nevertheless persist.
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Post by J Lee O'Brien on Aug 25, 2022 9:55:00 GMT -5
Snitsky
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lucas_lee
Hank Scorpio
Heel turn is finished, now stripping away my personality
Posts: 6,756
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Post by lucas_lee on Aug 25, 2022 10:15:44 GMT -5
They didn't let Eddie Kingston finish his cake backstage
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Post by Andy Martin on Aug 25, 2022 10:22:32 GMT -5
An absolute metric f*** ton of pure Colombian cocaine.
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