Post by Sephiroth on Jan 7, 2023 9:27:48 GMT -5
Sorry to yack your ears off but I truly need to vent, as I am in the midst of significant tension with my mother and her husband. The full story: my grandmother passed away six years ago, the two of them had been living with her. For five years they labored to empty her house out and sell it off in preparation for relocating further south in our state where they have a house for their retirement set. I was called upon to help with this-a lot. This meant dealing with her husband at his most insufferable, as he has a habit of getting himself very wound up over such projects and then snapping at everyone around him for it. Mother was no less easy to deal with, as preparing to part with the longtime family home was a very emotional experience. In 2022 it reached its apex as my grandmother’s house went on the market. As the two of them began spending the bulk of their time at their retirement home, I was frequently called upon to run to the house to do this or that in preparation for a viewing-and these requests always came at the last minute and regardless of whatever else I was doing.
The final day of clearing out the house, once an offer has been made and accepted, finally broke my patience. He was being such a jerk that I flat out told him it was the last time I was putting up with it and that if I were to visit them in their retirement home and he started behaving like that, I would just turn around and go home, and that I felt I had earned that much. He blurted out “You did more than most” in a rather reluctant tone. I was extremely insulted and angry at this and I still am, understatement of the decade. I made up my mind then and there that I needed a long time away from them both, needed a chance to enjoy the absence.
This proved short lived as in September I suffered a stroke. While I have health insurance it is pretty paltry, and goes without saying the bills are massive. Knowing my financial state the two of them, along with my father, stepped up to cover the bills. I am eternally grateful for this of course but it has upped the tension a lot. The few times I’ve seen them since, they demand I save my mail and bring it with me so they can go through it in case I overlooked any bills. They’ve also demanded to see my cell phone so they can go through my emails to see if I overlooked any bills. Having lived alone so long I am an intensely private person, so this feels like a big time invasion and insult. Added to this, he has been quite vocal about how displeased he is with the situation-as if I am any happier with it myself.
So overall I’m not in a good place with them. I really do want to keep my distance until the two of them have calmed down from all the tumult of the last couple years, yet I can’t because of the bill situation. I had hoped when they moved to their retirement home that I’d get a break, but even half the state away they are breathing down my neck worse than ever. And I feel like the most ungrateful wretch for resenting that, given how much they are helping me. I am simply miserable with this and don’t see an end in sight.
The final day of clearing out the house, once an offer has been made and accepted, finally broke my patience. He was being such a jerk that I flat out told him it was the last time I was putting up with it and that if I were to visit them in their retirement home and he started behaving like that, I would just turn around and go home, and that I felt I had earned that much. He blurted out “You did more than most” in a rather reluctant tone. I was extremely insulted and angry at this and I still am, understatement of the decade. I made up my mind then and there that I needed a long time away from them both, needed a chance to enjoy the absence.
This proved short lived as in September I suffered a stroke. While I have health insurance it is pretty paltry, and goes without saying the bills are massive. Knowing my financial state the two of them, along with my father, stepped up to cover the bills. I am eternally grateful for this of course but it has upped the tension a lot. The few times I’ve seen them since, they demand I save my mail and bring it with me so they can go through it in case I overlooked any bills. They’ve also demanded to see my cell phone so they can go through my emails to see if I overlooked any bills. Having lived alone so long I am an intensely private person, so this feels like a big time invasion and insult. Added to this, he has been quite vocal about how displeased he is with the situation-as if I am any happier with it myself.
So overall I’m not in a good place with them. I really do want to keep my distance until the two of them have calmed down from all the tumult of the last couple years, yet I can’t because of the bill situation. I had hoped when they moved to their retirement home that I’d get a break, but even half the state away they are breathing down my neck worse than ever. And I feel like the most ungrateful wretch for resenting that, given how much they are helping me. I am simply miserable with this and don’t see an end in sight.
