Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 22, 2023 10:00:08 GMT -5
I don't know where to post this but over Christmas, I started to really fall off mental health wise.
I have been reading up about philosophy, psychology and general existential stuff like consciousness, awareness, the mind, etc and it's got to the point where I feel like I'm depersonalized. I'm questioning everything about my entire existence and life in general.
One of the things that has got me messed up is this idea that "Nobody will ever know you but you. Because you're the only one living as you 24/7." - This has invited thoughts such as "Nobody knows it's me who's controlling this person they see."
For example, if life was one big Call of Duty game and we all had a first person view, nobody would know it's me and my consciousness who is controlling the soldier they see.
I am constantly imagining outside of myself, trying to figure out what people see when they look at me moving. Because you can't see outside of yourself.
I feel like nobody knows what I mean and it makes me feel even more afraid. Is the reality I know a lie? I always thought we were in the same world. Now I think I'm in my own separate reality where nothing happens outside of my awareness.
I have been struggling to eat and I'm doing nothing but sleeping because my mind is racing with these thoughts.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Jan 22, 2023 10:24:31 GMT -5
Honestly, we as a society are shit at dealing with mental health struggles. I’m no better. my advice is to find a safe person to talk to about these feelings. Sure, a professional would be ideal, but you can choose other options if you are reluctant to see a professional.
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thechase
King Koopa
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Post by thechase on Jan 22, 2023 11:34:55 GMT -5
I've had these thoughts since 2010. I was in a worse place when I realized all this, but now I'm good with it, I feel like I co-operate with whatever is guiding me through life, I'm achieving a lot of goals I never got to do twenty years ago
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Fade
Patti Mayonnaise
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Post by Fade on Jan 22, 2023 14:53:02 GMT -5
It sounds like you need to consult a professional. Everyone’s got something, and that’s usually the best course. My only advice is try to do what’s best for you, by you, and to you.
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Post by Hit Girl on Jan 22, 2023 23:37:31 GMT -5
Don't bother with philosophy. It's pretentious bollocks for the most part. Formulated by people who have no greater insight into life than anyone else.
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thechase
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Post by thechase on Jan 23, 2023 5:00:40 GMT -5
Don't bother with philosophy. It's pretentious bollocks for the most part. Formulated by people who have no greater insight into life than anyone else. And for some, that works.
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Flo360
Hank Scorpio
There is no truth in Wrestling...only Backbumps
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Post by Flo360 on Jan 23, 2023 5:42:51 GMT -5
Honestly? Philosophy and Religion are all fine and well (I personally am one of these Church every Week people), but they really are not helpful with issues like this. There just is no substitute for getting professional help. Trying to deal with a chemical imbalance by reading up on it, is like dealing with a Mentos in your Coke-bottle by reciding poetry.
Just one mans opinion here, but get help, learn how to deal with your sense of disconnect (It IS different tools for everybody after all), then get back to philosophy and find what they where on about.
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Sephiroth
Wade Wilson
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Post by Sephiroth on Jan 23, 2023 6:55:41 GMT -5
Don't bother with philosophy. It's pretentious bollocks for the most part. Formulated by people who have no greater insight into life than anyone else. You ever consider how one tiny atom in your fingernail could be one tiny universe?
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Post by Limity (BLM) on Jan 23, 2023 7:36:33 GMT -5
Well looks like someone wikipedia'd Descartes.
Now go do some shrooms, read Notes From The Underground, and call it a day.
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Post by dirtyoldman on Jan 23, 2023 8:15:44 GMT -5
Just don't be messing around with cannibas or any mind f***ing drugs in this state
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Post by willywonka666 on Jan 23, 2023 8:33:11 GMT -5
Therapy is my vote-my therapy mainly consists of me finally having a chance to talk to someone that will listen to me about me as opposed to the other way around. My vote is also just say no to drugs-it's not even a band aid for this problem, and it's not so much a problem as you are realizing some things and need to process it
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Post by Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! on Jan 23, 2023 11:21:49 GMT -5
Therapy is my vote-my therapy mainly consists of me finally having a chance to talk to someone that will listen to me about me as opposed to the other way around. My vote is also just say no to drugs-it's not even a band aid for this problem, and it's not so much a problem as you are realizing some things and need to process it Sometimes doctor prescribed drugs are absolutely part of the solution though. I'm a much better, much happier person on my medication than without it. It is only part of the equation (self care and therapy are also a must) but let's not go shitting on using medication.
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Post by Gerard Gerard on Jan 23, 2023 19:22:56 GMT -5
I think you mentioned you were based in Ireland? If so, I can vouch for texting 50808 as not only a great crisis text-line overseen by pros but also very handy in linking you in with resources in your area that might be of help. Likewise, MyMind is an affordable, quick way to talk to professional either in person or online as I know public health backlogs/waiting lists re: mental health (I mean, all health as well but still) are through the roof at the minute with the pandemic and Ireland being an unaffordable hellscape in 2023.
Whatever path you venture, truly wish you nothing but the best.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2023 14:28:27 GMT -5
Just an update. I seem to be doing a little bit better these past few days. I have been pushing myself to get out of the house and get back to normal.
I've been eating regularly again which has helped me with my energy, thinking etc. I almost felt depersonalized when I wasn't eating. My appetite was non existent and the first meal felt like I was force feeding myself .. then later that day, I felt hunger again.
I'm going to therapy tomorrow again.
Thanks for the well wishes. I appreciate it.
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Jan 25, 2023 3:28:07 GMT -5
Just an update. I seem to be doing a little bit better these past few days. I have been pushing myself to get out of the house and get back to normal. I've been eating regularly again which has helped me with my energy, thinking etc. I almost felt depersonalized when I wasn't eating. My appetite was non existent and the first meal felt like I was force feeding myself .. then later that day, I felt hunger again. I'm going to therapy tomorrow again. Thanks for the well wishes. I appreciate it. Great work on taking action for your own wellness. Folks who have been through it, or worse yet, haven't, often forget that taking action in this kind of scenario can be nearly impossible. You're doing the right thing.
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Post by willywonka666 on Jan 25, 2023 7:55:24 GMT -5
Therapy is my vote-my therapy mainly consists of me finally having a chance to talk to someone that will listen to me about me as opposed to the other way around. My vote is also just say no to drugs-it's not even a band aid for this problem, and it's not so much a problem as you are realizing some things and need to process it Sometimes doctor prescribed drugs are absolutely part of the solution though. I'm a much better, much happier person on my medication than without it. It is only part of the equation (self care and therapy are also a must) but let's not go shitting on using medication. Oh i take medication-i'm simply shitting on the recreational drugs and the trope that people need them to cope.
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Post by Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! on Jan 25, 2023 11:19:06 GMT -5
Sometimes doctor prescribed drugs are absolutely part of the solution though. I'm a much better, much happier person on my medication than without it. It is only part of the equation (self care and therapy are also a must) but let's not go shitting on using medication. Oh i take medication-i'm simply shitting on the recreational drugs and the trope that people need them to cope. Ah ok thanks for clarifying. Yeah recreational drugs/booze are never the answer to dealing with this kind of thing.
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agent817
Fry's dog Seymour
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Post by agent817 on Jan 25, 2023 12:20:14 GMT -5
I had been going through the same thing for months now. However, it wasn't until last month that maybe the reason is because I may had been ignoring and suppressing emotions. I also know that doing that is not healthy for the mind and body.
How it all started was that I had a crush on a much younger woman and I tried to suppress my feelings for her. I tried my best to fight them. Here's what happened as a result: every time I was in this person's presence, I started to feel uncomfortable. I mean like my heart would start racing and I couldn't think straight, which then led me to having panic attacks.
So yes, this wasn't fun. It's clear that bottling up emotions is unhealthy both physically and mentally.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2023 15:55:27 GMT -5
A small update.
I've been to therapy again tonight and honestly, it's going pretty well. He seems to always make a connection with something and make me see a link as to why I'm having these thoughts and feelings.
For example, I told him I was having these feelings that I'm "controlling a person" and he linked it back to basically 15 years of video gaming where I'm controlling a person and nobody knows who's behind the controller.
I've been living in a sub reality for so long, with video games and social media, I am still trying to figure out who I am in the real world. He thinks I'm having an identity crisis and existential crisis which makes sense. My goal now is to just take the necessary steps and continue with the sessions.
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