Post by Toates Madhackrviper on Jan 28, 2023 1:18:43 GMT -5
I've just got done rewatching the whole Trek Movie franchise (including Kelvin timeline) today. I last watched them a year and a half ago or so? And for all but Undiscovered Country it was the second time I had seen any of them since childhood. Note that none of my opinions are particularly revolutionary here. My top few will not surprise people. That said, here we go.
Side note: I have not seen any of the TV serieses in adulthood. I watched a fair amount of TNG, Voyager, DS9, and Enterprise with my dad who likes Trek when I was a kid, I don't think I saw much TOS as a kid though.
Spoilers incoming, especially for Into Darkness.
1. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan(10/10) - Wow! Big surprise! Funny enough, at my first watch through of these movies I sort of didn't "get" Wrath. Idk, I think I got hype aversion'd pretty hard with it? I enjoyed it, but I didn't get what was so special. On rewatch, I totally get it now. I get why its the best Trek movie. Ricardo Montalban is amazing!!! He kills it in the role. Spock's death also emotionally resonated with me much more this time.
2. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (10/10) - OK, on my first watch through this movie was my favorite by a lot lol. But it sorta... didn't really impact me as hard the second time. So I'm currently down on it, but decided not to lower my rating of it because of that. I wonder if a year and a half later is just not long enough to appreciate the jokes again? But yeah, ist still pretty funny. I like that most of the crew has something to do in this one. Not the case with any of the other TOS films. The environmentalist themes are on the nose, but to me its Some Anvils Need to be Dropped because this movie actually had a cultural impact on that front! So it like, worked? So I can't hate it for that.
3. Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (8/10) - End of the Cold War happened when I was 2, so I think this movie doesn't necessarily emotionally impact me the way it would someone a bit older than I am. That said, its still very good. And the themes come across well enough to someone who didn't experience what they're talking about. I do have a question for any Trekies on this forum though, do you think this movie would have been better if Saavik came back as the traitor instead of making a new female Vulcan to fill the role? Or do you prefer a timeline where Saavik stays on the side of good? Also Christopher Pike kills it.
4. Star Trek: First Contact [8/10] - Here's another one I appreciated much more on a second watch. I don't have much else to say really though. The themes are very well done. James Cromwell is great. Frakes's direction isn't perfect I guess?
5. Star Trek Beyond [8/10] - I'll have the most to say about this one because I just watched it. I should have taken notes for the others too but whatever. Its good! Definitely the best reboot movie. Not better than the above "good" original timeline movies not better than the good original timeline movies but like... makes a decent shot at trying to be. Jaylah is great and Krull is a pretty good bad guy. His motivation is pretty surface level that has been done before in fiction but its at least unique from anything in any of the other movies. It actually tries to have themes and be interesting art (in contract to the Kelvin Timeline movies I list bellow, which I will talk about). I like, once again, that the whole main screw has something to do. I like that Bones and Spock get to play off each other more. Karl Urban is a treasure and gets to show that off the most in this one. The bit in the climax where they figure out how to destroy the swarm is f***ing awesome, its also f***ing stupid but I don't care. After this bit it starts to get a tiny bit messy. It mostly sticks the landing but it gets a little... off. They force the reveal of who Krull is kinda awkwardly and the final confrontation isn't great. Spock's arc in this is pretty well done, but Kirk's isn't explored enough.
6. Star Trek: The Motion Picture [7/10] - I appreciate what its trying to do more than what it actually does I guess? I think all of the original series Trek movies do something important: they're trying to be an interesting piece of art. This movie does that the most I think? Of course the long unnecessary visual shots are boring (and yes, I watched the version that cuts down on that). The thing is, despite all that, the third act brings everything home beautifully and leaves a very good taste in your mouth. Which is why I rate it relatively highly.
7. Star Trek (2009) - [7/10] - Ugh, I have, mixed feelings about this. Here's the thing, as a product Star Trek 2009 really succeeds. Its the Abrahms special really, make a good product but not a very interesting piece of art. This movie exemplifies that more than anything else he's done I think. Thing is, EVERY original timeline movie tries to say something and I sort of respect those movies more because of it. But I also enjoye this movie more than the original timeline movies I rank bellow it. Its a weird situation.
8. Star Trek V: The Final Frontier [6/10] - Lot of 6/10s coming fair warning lol. Anyway I think more than any of the other movies I'm about to talk about this movie fits the "tries to be interesting art, mostly fails as a movie but I respect the attempt" here. Its definitly sloppy, it had me saying "thats stupid" out loud at multiple parts, and Shatner couldn't direct his way out of a paper bag. But god, holy shit does Sybock almost single handily save the movie. Laurence Luckinbill's performance is so f***ing charismatic. Sybock deserved a better movie.
9. Star Trek: Generations [6/10]- I don't really have much to say about this one. Despite watching it very recently I can't remember all that much that stood out in either way for me. So for me that amounts to "perfectly watchably average, not really offensive in any way but not good either".
10. Star Trek III: The Search of Spock [6/10] - For some reason I originally rated this a 7/10 but my memories do not really reflect that. I love Christopher Lloyd in this but not much else. Robin Curtis as replacement!Saavik just doesn't work. The plot is very silly at a lot of points, though it performers it with a sense of earnestness that helps keep it afloat. Obviously 6/10 is still a positive rating so I still like it it just... eh? Still not idea why it was originally rated higher.
11. Star Trek: Insurrection [6/10]: Here's another one that really fits the "not a great movie, but an interesting piece of art" description. Its really trying to do something here. The underlying plot of Starfleet becoming corrupted by what is essentially a SciFi fountain of youth is a good premise, though not really explored enough. The highlight of this movie for me is the relationship between Data and the little kid.
12. Star Trek: Nemesis [6/10] - 6/10 is definitely going to be too high for some people. And me rating this above Into Darkness is probably going to blow some people away. But I will explain that when I talk about that movie, which I have a lot to say about. This movie is definitely the worst original timeline movie though. Its a sloppy mess in a lot of ways, but it has some redeeming qualities. I love Tom Hardy but his performance does not work for me in this. The supernatural violation of Troi is stupid and f***ing offensively sexist and... while it ends up meaning something in the climax it still feels unnecessary. Still, even the worst original timeline movie is at least trying to be an interesting piece of art and not a cynically competent product. So I still respect it.
13. Star Trek: Into Darkness [5/10] - I spent the first two acts of this movie wondering why I had rated it so low and considered it my least favorite Star Trek movie. Because the movie is competent if soulless for quiet awhile. Pretty much equal to Star Trek 2009. The concept of "destruction of Vulcan makes parts of Starfleet more militaristic and wanting to prevent the next threat" is interesting but not explored enough. It gets burried over stupid fan service in the last act and the need to force Khan as the villain. The Admiral who is the leader of this faction should have been the main villain. Khan should have either not been part of the movie or been a reluctant ally that DOES NOT turn on Kirk in the end nor vice versa. I would have preferred the former but if they really wanted to use Khan at least do something different with him. Poor Benedict has a tough act to follow, but I honestly think Ricardo's khan is something no actor can possibly measure up to lol. Benedict isn't a large ham! It doesn't work! (also ham and cheese don't fit in the reboot series anyway, so you could argue that means that it was adapted to the new tone just fine but I'm just going to straight up say trying to adapt Khan into that tone is a bad idea). The whitewashing of Khan is offensive obviously but I don't think any POC actor could have followed up Ricardo either.
The third act falls apart completely lmao it's f***ing terrible. The attempt to do a "role reversal" with Kirk dying in the radiation chamber instead of Spock flops completely. 1. I have no emotional connection to this version of Kirk to be honest?
2. Kirk and Spock's relationship has not been developed enough in this timeline for me to care, nor for Spock's emotional breakdown to make sense. 3. They introduced the get out of death free card they were going to use way too obviously for me to care 4. It's just... f***ing stupid to try to redo the most emotionally resonate scene in the franchise? Why? Finally: Spock shouting "Khaaaaan" after is the single dumbest thing I have ever seen in cinema lol (only slightly exaggerating).
Nitpick: Quiet possibly THE most gratuitous and unnecessary male gaze fanservice I've seen outside the slasher genre lol. there's a shot of Carol Marcus in her underwear that serves absolutely no narrative purpose. lizard brain was like "mmm Alice eve body good" but feminist brain was like "this is obnoxiously unnecessary". Feminist brain won out this time.
Also, aside
Galaxy Quest [8/10] - Hilarious movie, and I absolutely believe the theory that if you include it as a "Star Trek movie" it prevents the polarity of the Star Trek Movie Curse from being reversed. If I actually ranked it with the other movies... I'd probably put it slightly above Beyond. Maybe even over First Contact?
Side note: I have not seen any of the TV serieses in adulthood. I watched a fair amount of TNG, Voyager, DS9, and Enterprise with my dad who likes Trek when I was a kid, I don't think I saw much TOS as a kid though.
Spoilers incoming, especially for Into Darkness.
1. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan(10/10) - Wow! Big surprise! Funny enough, at my first watch through of these movies I sort of didn't "get" Wrath. Idk, I think I got hype aversion'd pretty hard with it? I enjoyed it, but I didn't get what was so special. On rewatch, I totally get it now. I get why its the best Trek movie. Ricardo Montalban is amazing!!! He kills it in the role. Spock's death also emotionally resonated with me much more this time.
2. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (10/10) - OK, on my first watch through this movie was my favorite by a lot lol. But it sorta... didn't really impact me as hard the second time. So I'm currently down on it, but decided not to lower my rating of it because of that. I wonder if a year and a half later is just not long enough to appreciate the jokes again? But yeah, ist still pretty funny. I like that most of the crew has something to do in this one. Not the case with any of the other TOS films. The environmentalist themes are on the nose, but to me its Some Anvils Need to be Dropped because this movie actually had a cultural impact on that front! So it like, worked? So I can't hate it for that.
3. Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (8/10) - End of the Cold War happened when I was 2, so I think this movie doesn't necessarily emotionally impact me the way it would someone a bit older than I am. That said, its still very good. And the themes come across well enough to someone who didn't experience what they're talking about. I do have a question for any Trekies on this forum though, do you think this movie would have been better if Saavik came back as the traitor instead of making a new female Vulcan to fill the role? Or do you prefer a timeline where Saavik stays on the side of good? Also Christopher Pike kills it.
4. Star Trek: First Contact [8/10] - Here's another one I appreciated much more on a second watch. I don't have much else to say really though. The themes are very well done. James Cromwell is great. Frakes's direction isn't perfect I guess?
5. Star Trek Beyond [8/10] - I'll have the most to say about this one because I just watched it. I should have taken notes for the others too but whatever. Its good! Definitely the best reboot movie. Not better than the above "good" original timeline movies not better than the good original timeline movies but like... makes a decent shot at trying to be. Jaylah is great and Krull is a pretty good bad guy. His motivation is pretty surface level that has been done before in fiction but its at least unique from anything in any of the other movies. It actually tries to have themes and be interesting art (in contract to the Kelvin Timeline movies I list bellow, which I will talk about). I like, once again, that the whole main screw has something to do. I like that Bones and Spock get to play off each other more. Karl Urban is a treasure and gets to show that off the most in this one. The bit in the climax where they figure out how to destroy the swarm is f***ing awesome, its also f***ing stupid but I don't care. After this bit it starts to get a tiny bit messy. It mostly sticks the landing but it gets a little... off. They force the reveal of who Krull is kinda awkwardly and the final confrontation isn't great. Spock's arc in this is pretty well done, but Kirk's isn't explored enough.
6. Star Trek: The Motion Picture [7/10] - I appreciate what its trying to do more than what it actually does I guess? I think all of the original series Trek movies do something important: they're trying to be an interesting piece of art. This movie does that the most I think? Of course the long unnecessary visual shots are boring (and yes, I watched the version that cuts down on that). The thing is, despite all that, the third act brings everything home beautifully and leaves a very good taste in your mouth. Which is why I rate it relatively highly.
7. Star Trek (2009) - [7/10] - Ugh, I have, mixed feelings about this. Here's the thing, as a product Star Trek 2009 really succeeds. Its the Abrahms special really, make a good product but not a very interesting piece of art. This movie exemplifies that more than anything else he's done I think. Thing is, EVERY original timeline movie tries to say something and I sort of respect those movies more because of it. But I also enjoye this movie more than the original timeline movies I rank bellow it. Its a weird situation.
8. Star Trek V: The Final Frontier [6/10] - Lot of 6/10s coming fair warning lol. Anyway I think more than any of the other movies I'm about to talk about this movie fits the "tries to be interesting art, mostly fails as a movie but I respect the attempt" here. Its definitly sloppy, it had me saying "thats stupid" out loud at multiple parts, and Shatner couldn't direct his way out of a paper bag. But god, holy shit does Sybock almost single handily save the movie. Laurence Luckinbill's performance is so f***ing charismatic. Sybock deserved a better movie.
9. Star Trek: Generations [6/10]- I don't really have much to say about this one. Despite watching it very recently I can't remember all that much that stood out in either way for me. So for me that amounts to "perfectly watchably average, not really offensive in any way but not good either".
10. Star Trek III: The Search of Spock [6/10] - For some reason I originally rated this a 7/10 but my memories do not really reflect that. I love Christopher Lloyd in this but not much else. Robin Curtis as replacement!Saavik just doesn't work. The plot is very silly at a lot of points, though it performers it with a sense of earnestness that helps keep it afloat. Obviously 6/10 is still a positive rating so I still like it it just... eh? Still not idea why it was originally rated higher.
11. Star Trek: Insurrection [6/10]: Here's another one that really fits the "not a great movie, but an interesting piece of art" description. Its really trying to do something here. The underlying plot of Starfleet becoming corrupted by what is essentially a SciFi fountain of youth is a good premise, though not really explored enough. The highlight of this movie for me is the relationship between Data and the little kid.
12. Star Trek: Nemesis [6/10] - 6/10 is definitely going to be too high for some people. And me rating this above Into Darkness is probably going to blow some people away. But I will explain that when I talk about that movie, which I have a lot to say about. This movie is definitely the worst original timeline movie though. Its a sloppy mess in a lot of ways, but it has some redeeming qualities. I love Tom Hardy but his performance does not work for me in this. The supernatural violation of Troi is stupid and f***ing offensively sexist and... while it ends up meaning something in the climax it still feels unnecessary. Still, even the worst original timeline movie is at least trying to be an interesting piece of art and not a cynically competent product. So I still respect it.
13. Star Trek: Into Darkness [5/10] - I spent the first two acts of this movie wondering why I had rated it so low and considered it my least favorite Star Trek movie. Because the movie is competent if soulless for quiet awhile. Pretty much equal to Star Trek 2009. The concept of "destruction of Vulcan makes parts of Starfleet more militaristic and wanting to prevent the next threat" is interesting but not explored enough. It gets burried over stupid fan service in the last act and the need to force Khan as the villain. The Admiral who is the leader of this faction should have been the main villain. Khan should have either not been part of the movie or been a reluctant ally that DOES NOT turn on Kirk in the end nor vice versa. I would have preferred the former but if they really wanted to use Khan at least do something different with him. Poor Benedict has a tough act to follow, but I honestly think Ricardo's khan is something no actor can possibly measure up to lol. Benedict isn't a large ham! It doesn't work! (also ham and cheese don't fit in the reboot series anyway, so you could argue that means that it was adapted to the new tone just fine but I'm just going to straight up say trying to adapt Khan into that tone is a bad idea). The whitewashing of Khan is offensive obviously but I don't think any POC actor could have followed up Ricardo either.
The third act falls apart completely lmao it's f***ing terrible. The attempt to do a "role reversal" with Kirk dying in the radiation chamber instead of Spock flops completely. 1. I have no emotional connection to this version of Kirk to be honest?
2. Kirk and Spock's relationship has not been developed enough in this timeline for me to care, nor for Spock's emotional breakdown to make sense. 3. They introduced the get out of death free card they were going to use way too obviously for me to care 4. It's just... f***ing stupid to try to redo the most emotionally resonate scene in the franchise? Why? Finally: Spock shouting "Khaaaaan" after is the single dumbest thing I have ever seen in cinema lol (only slightly exaggerating).Nitpick: Quiet possibly THE most gratuitous and unnecessary male gaze fanservice I've seen outside the slasher genre lol. there's a shot of Carol Marcus in her underwear that serves absolutely no narrative purpose. lizard brain was like "mmm Alice eve body good" but feminist brain was like "this is obnoxiously unnecessary". Feminist brain won out this time.
Also, aside
Galaxy Quest [8/10] - Hilarious movie, and I absolutely believe the theory that if you include it as a "Star Trek movie" it prevents the polarity of the Star Trek Movie Curse from being reversed. If I actually ranked it with the other movies... I'd probably put it slightly above Beyond. Maybe even over First Contact?
