Things That Are a Pain in the Ass to Eat

[Sephiroth]

Adding on the crab, they live on the ocean floor and eat ****. And you go through the motions to cook them and crack the shell open to eat it. And call it delicious.

I’d add in pizza fresh from the oven. It’s so delicious but you go through the ritual of the stretchy cheese with grease dripping off it it, burning your fingers, then taking a bite and burning your mouth, doing the blow hole face thing before guzzling your beer or soda. And then you do it again.

[KingPooper]

I’ve never learned how to eat oysters or crawfish and at this point I don’t plan to.

[Cranjis McBasketball]

Aug 25, 2023 23:11:21 GMT -5 KingPooper said:

I’ve never learned how to eat oysters or crawfish and at this point I don’t plan to.

As far as oysters go, well, just swallow, baby.

[saneiac]

When I was a kid, this was a popular one with friend's moms for some reason: frozen bananas. I'm not saying they're on the same level as unpeeled shrimp, but they still suck. Hard to bite through them when the center is frozen solid, and when you finally get a smaller piece into your mouth, you still have to wait for it to melt before you can swallow it. So it sits in your mouth with the perimiter turning to goo and the center hard frozen for another 10 minutes.

[schma]

Aug 26, 2023 0:14:09 GMT -5 saneiac said:

When I was a kid, this was a popular one with friend's moms for some reason: frozen bananas. I'm not saying they're on the same level as unpeeled shrimp, but they still suck. Hard to bite through them when the center is frozen solid, and when you finally get a smaller piece into your mouth, you still have to wait for it to melt before you can swallow it. So it sits in your mouth with the perimiter turning to goo and the center hard frozen for another 10 minutes.

Somebody asked if I wanted a frozen banana and I said no. But I want a regular banana later so...yeah.

[bibboid]

Brazil nuts.

Even if you can crack the damn things open, more likely than not you will just crush the nut inside into a hundred pieces. And god help you if one of the pieces you pop in your mouth still has a bit of shell stuck to it.

[saneiac]

Anyone remember Bomb Pops? A slightly longer red, white, and blue popsicle, vaguely star shaped?

First off, they didn't even taste that good. The white section had hints of lemonade, but I swear the red and blue were just unflavored colored ice with sugar.

But the bigger issue: damn, those things melted fast! Before you barely even got started they'd be running onto your fingers, and by the time you finished you'd have sticky sugar water all over your chin and down your forearm to your elbow.

Oh, and the paper always got stuck and tore off in the valleys of the star shape, so you had to eat it as well.

[Sephiroth]

Swedish Fish. Yanked my filling out once.

[Vanilla Gorilla]

Wawa, the famous Philadelphia-area chain, has a breakfast sandwich line called Sizzlis. My favorite is the sausage, egg, and cheese on a buttermilk biscuit. When you get the right bite it’s savory perfection. The problem is the biscuit tends to fall apart after the first bite and crumbles everywhere so you are left with the sausage and egg middle, which is delicious but greasy, crumbs all over your car or desk, and greasy hands.

Similarly, croissants also leave behind a flaky crumbly mess.

[Alexander The So-so]

Octopus, especially raw octopus on sushi.

In theory it tastes good, but it’s so rubbery in texture that it’s nearly impossible to chew and get down. Every time I tried to eat it, it turned into a Herculean labor in my mouth getting it down.

[Mighty Attack Tribble]

Aug 28, 2023 7:36:04 GMT -5 Alexander The So-so said:

Octopus, especially raw octopus on sushi.

In theory it tastes good, but it’s so rubbery in texture that it’s nearly impossible to chew and get down. Every time I tried to eat it, it turned into a Herculean labor in my mouth getting it down.

I've always found octopus and squid just about inedible. Cooked perfectly and it has a firm but otherwise tender bite. Raw, under- or over-cooked? You might as well be trying to eat a bicycle tire. The problem is it seems like you can go from under-cooked to over-cooked in a matter of seconds, so I just don't bother.

[BlackoutCreature]

Aug 29, 2023 19:55:44 GMT -5 Mighty Attack Tribble said:

Aug 28, 2023 7:36:04 GMT -5 Alexander The So-so said:

Octopus, especially raw octopus on sushi.

In theory it tastes good, but it’s so rubbery in texture that it’s nearly impossible to chew and get down. Every time I tried to eat it, it turned into a Herculean labor in my mouth getting it down.

I've always found octopus and squid just about inedible. Cooked perfectly and it has a firm but otherwise tender bite. Raw, under- or over-cooked? You might as well be trying to eat a bicycle tire. The problem is it seems like you can go from under-cooked to over-cooked in a matter of seconds, so I just don't bother.

I make a recipe for Octopus Stew in my slow cooker that I love. The octopus always comes out nice and tender.

[Urethra Franklin]

I hate elaborate burgers and sandwiches.

I don’t wanna get covered in sauce or hafta hurt my jaw trying to take a bite of a giant, unwieldy sandwich. That takes all the enjoyment out of it no matter how good it might be.

[salz4life]

Aug 25, 2023 9:59:34 GMT -5 El Pollo Guerrera said:

This may be controversial... but chicken wings. I find them messy, and there's not a lot of meat for the mess they make.

I know 'boneless wings' are just 'chicken nuggets for adults' but at least I get a full bite out of them, and less mess.

This is why I usually ask for them to go easy on the sauce. I hate when they are swimming in sauce.