H-Virus
Hank Scorpio
A Real Contagious Experience
Posts: 5,980
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Post by H-Virus on Oct 25, 2023 6:58:44 GMT -5
'tis the season, so let's talk about the worst examples of people who just can't help but make decisions so horrible that you can't even feel sorry for them when it blows up in their face. Medium doesn't matter: movies, books, creepypastas, whatever.
The topic came to me because every October I break out the old 'Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark' audiobooks, and while there really aren't that many unforgivably stupid protags, there are at least two that really stand out.
The first is the mother from 'The Big Toe' who, upon being presented with a (human?) toe that her son found sticking out of the ground in their garden, decides that the best thing to do is throw it in a pot of soup and eat it for supper. Aside from the implied cannibalism, it also gets her son killed when the thing the toe was attached to comes looking for it later that night.
The second is, of course, the two farmers from 'Harold', who actually do the smart thing and escape from the scarecrow before anything bad can happen, only to then decide that one of them needs to go back because they left the milking stools behind. The story claims that the stools cost a lot of money (somehow), but was it really worth getting skinned alive just to save a few bucks?
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The Ichi
Patti Mayonnaise
AGGRESSIVE Executive Janitor of the Third Floor Manager's Bathroom
Posts: 37,650
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Post by The Ichi on Oct 25, 2023 8:19:05 GMT -5
I feel like it would take much quicker to name smart ones.
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Post by Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!! on Oct 25, 2023 10:06:36 GMT -5
For me the all time dumbest protagonists in a horror movie are the girls from Slumber Party Massacre 3. To whit, the killer is a normal human being (and not a particularly large or imposing one at all, just a wiry dork with a power drill). They have him incapacitated at several opportunities (and eventually even BLINDED) but they never take advantage of these numerous opportunities to take him out for good (continually just running away from him instead). inspite of again, being BLINDED, he manages to kill most of them.
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Post by WoodStoner1 on Oct 25, 2023 12:39:11 GMT -5
Anyone in the Friday the 13th franchise who told their friends, "I'll be right back..."
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dav
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,066
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Post by dav on Oct 25, 2023 12:47:56 GMT -5
The father in Halloween Kills who goes into the house with Michael Meyers in it with absolutely no damn reason for doing so. Like, the entire point was that they were trying to hunt down Meyers as a town and he simply goes inside to get killed. The movie was really bad anyway, but that just broke my suspension of disbelief entirely.
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Post by Mighty Attack Tribble on Oct 25, 2023 19:07:01 GMT -5
I'll wager the correct answer is "Most of them."
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Post by bibboid on Oct 25, 2023 20:01:18 GMT -5
All the people in Lake Placid who thought Betty White was a sweet little old lady.
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chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 87,142
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Post by chrom on Oct 25, 2023 21:17:36 GMT -5
I'll wager the correct answer is "Most of them." With how stupid they are, at times you gotta root for the killer for doing the genepool a favor
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