Weirdest Brags You’ve Seen

[KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!!]

I was just on Reddit and someone posted a photo of a usually behind the scenes person from a podcast. Someone else responded that he refuses to open the photo because he wants to think of that person as being like Wilson from Home Improvement where you never see his face. Some snark then pipes in something like, “Actually if you’ve watched Home Improvement all the way through you’d know that you see Wilson’s face.”

So there you have it. Someone bragging about watching every episode of Home Improvement. What an age we live in.

[tafkaga]

My brag is that I never liked Home Improvement or Tim the Tool, even growing up with a family who always had it on, but I have always disliked the insensitive blue collar husband who likes to watch sports and drink beer while ignoring his overbearing wife trope in sitcoms.

As for stupid brags, I work with a 50-something year old manbaby who argues with his mother on the phone and then dramatically hangs up on her as if we're going to think, "Damn what a hardass talking to his mom that way. Better not mess with him."

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

i'm perma banned from reddit ...
not a brag

idiotas

[chrom]

"I ain't never been to jail!"

Chris Rock: What do you want a cookie? You're not suppose to go to jail you low expectation having *censored*

[Perd]

My cousin said that he could eat a king sizes Kit Kat faster than he could a regular size Kit Kat.

[Dan Royal]

It seems like every gaming journalist is an "award-winning" one. What was your award for? Your deep dive on Crash Bandicoot?

[saneiac]

Jan 19, 2024 11:46:44 GMT -5 tafkaga said:

As for stupid brags, I work with a 50-something year old manbaby who argues with his mother on the phone and then dramatically hangs up on her as if we're going to think, "Damn what a hardass talking to his mom that way. Better not mess with him."

I worked with a guy who would do that same thing to his wife. He was incredibly condescending to her on the phone, while also playing it up to his colleagues by wiggling his eyebrows or making a shocked face while pointing at the phone.

After years of this, apparently his wife and teenage kids confronted him about it and told him if he didn’t knock that shit off they were all going to leave him. To his credit, he knocked that shit off.

[tirtefaa]

In my early 30's, I had to fire a woman who was roughly my same age? The reason was for felony charges for trespassing and assault of another woman who was apparently fooling around with her boyfriend. When she came in to get her things, she could not stop bragging about how badly she beat up this girl. Like...you just lost your job, have to go to court, and you could potentially go to jail....and you're proud of yourself?

It's actually amazing how open some people can be, especially when you're their boss. Had another employee talk about how she used to steal from her former job, and she would spit in people's food if they made her mad.

I knew a guy who was incredibly proud of corrupting a girl who grew up sheltered into doing all sorts of messed up things with him. I don't know if she ever turned her life around. And as far as I know, he's still out there being scummy.

[Mozenrath]

It's a minor thing, but when someone is shitting on an act, usually a wrestler here for obvious reasons, and they talk about how they're an immediate channel changer.

Like, I get the sentiment, but it also tells me not to weigh your opinion on them much if you're admitting you don't even watch them. This goes double if it's not some firmly established act, like a lot of wrestlers can turn in pretty similar performances over years if they have time to find their groove, for better and worse, so you can reasonably form an opinion on them despite not watching them weekly. A young or green wrestler, though, is nowhere near as consistent, so yeah, a mediocre act can pretty quickly become promising in a short span. Don't be so sure in your assessment, or at least understand why others might not think it should be taken terribly seriously.

[J. Hova]

As someone who plays poker pretty seriously and has made a pretty decent side hustle out of doing it, it never ceases to amaze me when someone will brag about how much they are losing whether it is poker, slots, table games, etc. It almost gets to a pissing contest.

[The Thread Barbi]

From one of Chris Jericho's books - when he and Swagger were in a nightclub in Dubai, they got in an altercation with a local man (not Kane) and he threatened them with, "My dad owns 27% of Dubai" and then him and 5 or 6 of his friends piled into an old Mustang and sped away.

[chazraps]

There's an LL Cool J song where he says the line "I'm so bad I can suck my own dick!"

Like, "Hey guys, check this out!"

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}The actual origin of it stems from Cool J's porn addiction as the 80s became the 90s and him trying to secretly slide in a Ron Jeremy shout-out/reference into a song, and it came out like this.

And then UGK sampled that line for a hook, which is pretty genuinely intentionally hilarious.

[chazraps]

Also, this wasn't really a brag but it sounded like one - a decade ago when my cousin's kid was three or four at Christmas he tried singing "Do You Hear What I Hear" to the family but forgot the lyrics halfway though and on the spot changed it to "Do You Know Who I Am?"

[Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!!]

at some point in BuckCherry's "Crazy Bitch" you realize he's actually bragging about paying a lot of money for sex. not that there's anything wrong with it, but its not exactly something you brag about.

[WoodStoner1]

I got blocked twice by the Scientology Twitter/Letter Social Media page.

This guy we know bragged openly about, erm, showing self-love 15 times in one day.

[Rumble McSkirmish]

I got a pair of boxer shorts signed by Tommy Wiseau.

(It was from my local indie movie theater's midnight screening of The Room that he hosted.)

[Magnus the Magnificent]

Am I mis-remembering when I say a rapper claimed in a song he could fit his penis through the gap between his rival's front teeth?
Sure, it was supposed to mean the gap was large, but it sounded like he had tiny ding-dong.
If I remember correctly.

[chrom]

Jan 20, 2024 3:16:58 GMT -5 J. Hova said:

As someone who plays poker pretty seriously and has made a pretty decent side hustle out of doing it, it never ceases to amaze me when someone will brag about how much they are losing whether it is poker, slots, table games, etc. It almost gets to a pissing contest.

Imagine bragging about losing ten grand

[KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!!]

Jan 20, 2024 15:03:36 GMT -5 Magnus the Magnificent said:

Am I mis-remembering when I say a rapper claimed in a song he could fit his penis through the gap between his rival's front teeth?
Sure, it was supposed to mean the gap was large, but it sounded like he had tiny ding-dong.
If I remember correctly.

It’s one of the lines Dr. Dre says about Luke Campbell in “Dre Day.” The song is primarily a diss track directed toward Eazy-E, but that particular section is directed toward Luke Campbell. Snoop Dog follows it up with, “With my nuts on your tonsils / While you're on stage rappin' at your wack-ass concert”

For those unfamiliar, a fairly recent photo of Luke Campbell:

[Cranjis McBasketball]

I can tell the difference between butter and I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter!