H-Virus
Hank Scorpio
A Real Contagious Experience
Posts: 5,980
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Post by H-Virus on Feb 15, 2024 10:39:06 GMT -5
With Singles Awareness Day behind us, let’s talk about songs that are supposed to be romantic but just come off as mostly pathetic or gross.
Obviously there’s a really long list of “I know you’re with someone but get with me instead” songs that could go here, but when I think of pathetic love songs, “Grenade” by Bruno Mars is always the first to pop into my head. Dude spends two and a half verses talking about what a horrible, malicious, uncaring demon his girl is, flat out saying that she beats him (Black and blue, beat me til I’m numb), came from Hell (Tell the devil I said hi when you get back to where you’re from), and wouldn’t bother to piss on him if he was on fire (You’d watch me burn down in flames).
But then you get to the chorus where he professes that he would literally die for her, and is upset that she wouldn’t do the same for him, which, considering he’s already told us that the woman clearly hates him, either means he’s suffering from major Battered Spouse syndrome, or he’s just a dumbass, and either way there’s nothing romantic about it. You don’t even get a line in there about how she’s so beautiful or how the sex is great to justify why he would even be with her in the first place.
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Sephiroth
Wade Wilson
Surviving
Posts: 29,314
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Post by Sephiroth on Feb 15, 2024 10:56:54 GMT -5
She’s an easy lover, Phil Collins. The very title is an insult.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,515
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Feb 15, 2024 11:02:56 GMT -5
“Happy to be Stuck with You” is quite the gut punch, really. It’s a song about how dead their relationship is but breaking up would be such a pain in the ass. He basically sings that he’s not so unhappy that he’s willing to go through the hassle, divide assets, sell the house, and lose friends. In short, since it’s not worth it to break up they’re stuck together and he’s fine with that.
In a similar vein, “Love the One You’re With” is almost as unromantic. The theme of the song is literally, “Well, you really love someone but that relationship isn’t an option, so settle!”
REM’s “The One I Love” has Michael Stipe refer to the “One I Love” as a simple prop to occupy his time. One of history’s great love stories it isn’t.
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Post by Hit Girl on Feb 15, 2024 12:39:05 GMT -5
Just Be Good To Me
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Mozenrath
FANatic
Foppery and Whim
Speedy Speed Boy
Posts: 121,972
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Post by Mozenrath on Feb 15, 2024 13:31:42 GMT -5
Lou Christie's "Lightning Strikes" is the kind of sentiment that could get a cigarette put out on you.
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Post by Confused Mark Wahlberg on Feb 15, 2024 13:34:42 GMT -5
"I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" just because the song is so horrible.
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Post by darbus alan on Feb 15, 2024 13:42:55 GMT -5
"Push" by Matchbox 20.
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thechase
King Koopa
Posts: 12,372
Member is Online
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Post by thechase on Feb 15, 2024 13:49:36 GMT -5
Anything by Take That.
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tafkaga
Samurai Cop
the Dogfather
Posts: 2,381
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Post by tafkaga on Feb 15, 2024 14:07:14 GMT -5
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dav
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,065
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Post by dav on Feb 15, 2024 15:43:09 GMT -5
I Know You Too Well To Like You Anymore by Reel Big Fish.
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wildojinx
Wade Wilson
Posts: 27,193
Member is Online
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Post by wildojinx on Feb 15, 2024 15:49:26 GMT -5
Breakfast at Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something. So they only thing they have in common is that they both kind of like the film?
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Post by Andew9001 on Feb 15, 2024 18:29:02 GMT -5
Options by Pitbull. To me it's never come across as the compliment he thinks it is.
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Post by Hit Girl on Feb 15, 2024 23:25:18 GMT -5
No Air
Featuring....Chris Brown
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Sephiroth
Wade Wilson
Surviving
Posts: 29,314
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Post by Sephiroth on Feb 16, 2024 7:05:30 GMT -5
Two outta three by meatloaf. So hey, let’s just be **** buddies!
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Xxcjb01xX [PIECE OF: SH-]
FANatic
Writer, Lover of all things Wrestling. Analytical, Critical, Lovable (hopefully). Lets all have fun!
Posts: 244,993
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Post by Xxcjb01xX [PIECE OF: SH-] on Feb 16, 2024 7:23:57 GMT -5
I Am Your Mother by Megan Trainor is not only horribly creepy (As a lot of her "love songs" are) but has the audacity to sample Mr. Sandman...
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Post by darbus alan on Feb 16, 2024 12:35:43 GMT -5
I Am Your Mother by Megan Trainor is not only horribly creepy (As a lot of her "love songs" are) but has the audacity to sample Mr. Sandman... Wait, that's a love song?! What the f***. |
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,179 
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on Feb 16, 2024 14:20:03 GMT -5
"Talking In Your Sleep" by Romantics.
Creepy bastard.
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Xxcjb01xX [PIECE OF: SH-]
FANatic
Writer, Lover of all things Wrestling. Analytical, Critical, Lovable (hopefully). Lets all have fun!
Posts: 244,993
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Post by Xxcjb01xX [PIECE OF: SH-] on Feb 16, 2024 16:54:42 GMT -5
I Am Your Mother by Megan Trainor is not only horribly creepy (As a lot of her "love songs" are) but has the audacity to sample Mr. Sandman... Wait, that's a love song?! What the f***. It's essentially a "You're a dick, I'm gonna emasculate you right in front of my better sexier man" at one point in lyrics |
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Burst
El Dandy
*inarticulate squawking*
Posts: 8,622
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Post by Burst on Feb 16, 2024 17:28:47 GMT -5
Lou Christie's "Lightning Strikes" is the kind of sentiment that could get a cigarette put out on you. Meanwhile, the reaction the Klaus Nomi version gets pretty much depends on whether or not they're familiar with Klaus Nomi: |
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,515
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Feb 17, 2024 12:47:16 GMT -5
Peter Gabriel covered “Book of Love” and made it into a beautiful sounding ballad that completely belies the depressingly pessimistic lyrics.
Speaking of songs whose tone doesn’t match the lyrics, how hasn’t “Every Breath you Take” not been mentioned yet?
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