MTV show "Next"

[punkish]

Has anyone seen this show on MTV called "Next?" They have a guy who goes on a date and if he doesn't like her, he says "next" and another girl appears.

Anyway, there was this gorgeous Asian girl who got nexted right away because she was a little overweight. That pissed me off because I would have loved to date a girl like that.

I think the show is scripted...but it's real to me, man.

[The Booty Disciple]

MTV?

Dude. Have a drink.

*hands punkish a whiskey & whiskey*

Okay. Better now?

[Byakugan]

IT'S REAL TO YOU DAMMNIT

[TheDieselTrain]

I used to be mad addicted to that show. I love it when they get off the bus ant the guy or girl instantly nexts the person that's funny crap.

On this one episode with lesbians a girl got instantly nexted and the reject started chasing her around with one hand in the air ready to swing at her.

[The Booty Disciple]

Hey, man, I don't wanna bum your vibe, but your pic with Val was MUCH better...at least in my opinion.

[Lair of the Shadow MaDaBa]

*digs into closet*

*pulls out template Next rant*

===

After watching 30 minutes of this, I denounced MTV and all of its works.

Here's a breakdown of the average episode of Next.

*ahem*

One person is going to date up to five people in the span of one day. The five dates assemble in a bus where four will wait while one goes out with the Dater. For every minute a date lasts, a Date gets $1. If they can hold the Dater's interests, the Dater will offer them either their accumulated earnings or a second date.

First Date: The Dater has a hobby that is emphasized in a "warm-up". (S)He makes it virtually impossible for Date #1 to complete, at which point (s)he is Nexted. Date #1 looks into the camera and reads off a cue-card unbelievably (as in "not believably"), more-than-likely with a crappy pun injected, yet we're still supposed to truly honest-to-God believe that these are his/her ACTUAL OPINIONS.

Second Date: The Dater inexplicably makes things hoards easier for Date #2, probably just to get things moving. They go out to eat or something (which has a 99% probability rate of being a sushi bar) and they share their life stories. They're virtually exactly alike right down to their favorite condiments, and are basically soul mates. But the Dater notices that the Date has a hair out of place, so they are Nexted.

[While this is going on, I should point out that on the bus, at least two people have made out.]

Third Date: Things go from retarded to "Jesus-Christ-My-IQ-is-Two-Blocks-Back" with the third date. The Dater is full and they leave, even though this date didn't have a bite to eat and is probably starving from not eating anything for the past four years. They go out and do some mundane-ass activity. After this is done, whether the Date is Nexted or offered the deal is up in the air. We'll just say they're Nexted and move on.

[During the date, on the bus, one of the Dates brings up a hobby involving juggling sand crabs. Luckily, the bus comes fully stocked with all sorts of crustaceans, and they actually do it. Three- and four-way kissing takes place immediately afterward.]

Fourth Date: They're wearing a bra, regardless of gender, and are immediately Nexted.

Final Date: They're hot and are immediately offered a deal: take the buck or go on a second date. However, the Date immediately reveals that, after an orgy on the bus, they are in love with one of his/her bus mates; they take the buck to go out and buy their annual supply of Saltines.

[Lair of the Shadow MaDaBa]

austin4wyo said:

Hey, man, I don't wanna bum your vibe, but your pic with Val was MUCH better...at least in my opinion.

And I now officially have the constitutional right to kill you just for suggesting that anyone can be better than my Christy.

[Tha Kid Joker]

I like the one when the dude was like, 100 yards away from the bus and he waited five minutes as the girl walked from the bus to where he was standing. As SOON as she got to him he Nexted her and she had to walk all the way back, uphill.

I also liked when this guy Nexted this chubby little Asian girl and she busted a freestyle on him. He called her Biggie Smalls and moved on.

[The Booty Disciple]

mdb913 said:

austin4wyo said:

Hey, man, I don't wanna bum your vibe, but your pic with Val was MUCH better...at least in my opinion.

And I now officially have the constitutional right to kill you just for suggesting that anyone can be better than my Christy.

Hey, they're both amazingly sexy redheads...and I digs me some redheadedness.

However, Christy, while remarkably attractive, is also a a spaz. Val? Not so much...which means I'm less likely to smack her with an empty whiskey bottle to shut her up than I am Christy.

But again...different strokes for different guys to different girls

[Lair of the Shadow MaDaBa]

Oh, whatever. I love redheads.

I hate beautiful women as a whole, as a rule, but if I had to choose...redheads.

[The Booty Disciple]

God, me too, mdb. Redheads are an absolute addiction for me.

Nothing but trouble, but man...it's worth it.

I could tell stories, but no one is interested

[The Booty Disciple]

And I love how we managed to hijack this thread and turn it into two redhead-loving guys discussing who happens to be sexier...Val or Christy.

[TheDieselTrain]

thaxkidxjoker said:

I also liked when this guy Nexted this chubby little Asian girl and she busted a freestyle on him. He called her Biggie Smalls and moved on.

LMAO I remember that one. She busted her ass walking down the steps of the bus too ;D

austin4wyo said:

And I love how we managed to hijack this thread and turn it into two redhead-loving guys discussing who happens to be sexier...Val or Christy.

Redheads are my new drug too

[The Booty Disciple]

thedieseltrain said:

thaxkidxjoker said:

I also liked when this guy Nexted this chubby little Asian girl and she busted a freestyle on him. He called her Biggie Smalls and moved on.

LMAO I remember that one. She busted her ass walking down the steps of the bus too ;D

There will be no hijacking a hijacked thread back to the original topic, dammit!

WHERE'S VAL?!?

[Virt McGirt]

punkish said:

Has anyone seen this show on MTV called "Next?" They have a guy who goes on a date and if he doesn't like her, he says "next" and another girl appears.

Anyway, there was this gorgeous Asian girl who got nexted right away because she was a little overweight. That pissed me off because I would have loved to date a girl like that.

I think the show is scripted...but it's real to me, man.

IIRC, that chick got nexted cuz she went off the bus acting like a 12 year old, ass-planting on the bottom stair, and trying to wave it off like nothing happened.

But you're right, it was kind of a prick move to make.

[BigBadZ]

I watched that show one time, seemed totally scripted (what isn't on MTV) and it was dumb. I hate when I am at a friend's house and we have to watch MTV. Everyone is buying everything they see and I'm just like umm this is dumb, turn to Colbert Report please. ;D

[The middle finger is offensive]

I dont care wut yall say NEXT IS THE SHIT its a great show funny.

[TheDieselTrain]

austin4wyo said:

thedieseltrain said:

LMAO I remember that one. She busted her ass walking down the steps of the bus too ;D

There will be no hijacking a hijacked thread back to the original topic, dammit!

WHERE'S VAL?!?

Check out my new siggy sig

Now everyone's happy.

[alanguitar1]

I did a show (veronica mars) with someone who was a "dater" on there (kind of stuck up girl, lol) and she went through the day on there. They pick you up first thing in the morning and you have to sit on that bus all day until it's your turn. This girl got out, the guy wanted her to do chocolate-body-painting, and she wouldn't do it, and so she got nexted. And then got to sit on the bus again all day until it was night again, lol.

[Timmy8271]

Next is no Date my mom. Especially the gay edition where you know the mother really doesn't except them but goes along.