Alternate Universe WWE News & Notes.

[Zane]

Teddy Hart is reaching his 20th month as US Champion on Smackdown. Teddy is said to be very respectful to others backstage and ready to learn anything.

[Shy Guy]

zane630 said:

Teddy Hart is reaching his 20th month as US Champion on Smackdown. Teddy is said to be very respectful to others backstage and ready to learn anything.

win!

[pixiesfan]

- John Cena has major heat after pulling off a Juvented Guerrera backstage.

[SAJ Forth]

WWE Has signed Shark Boy. It Is expected he will receive a large push. Fans Have been known to blast WWE for hiring so many TNA "Rejects".

[Bobafett]

- Rob Van Dam's straight edge gimmick goes from strengh to strengh, sources say he is in line for a title shot in the near future

- WCW "One more great night in the history of our sport" has sold out, the card involves such matches as Harlem Heat vs the Outsiders, Steiner vs Goldberg and Sting vs Flair, also an appearance by former champion David ArquetteTony Schavonie will be on commentry with Mark Madden (scources say if Schavonie impresses enough he may be given the Raw anncouncing postition

-

[The Captain]

Carlito starts his run for the WWE Championship at Survivor Series next month after decisively beating Triple H clean in each of their last three encounters. Hunter has put over Carlito big time as "the next great WWE Champion" as well as a class act with both the boys in the back and the management.

CM Punk will face ECW Champion Rob Van Dam at Survivor Series next month. This will be a personal feud between the two, pitting RVD's straight-edge lifestyle against CM Punk's Drugs, Sex, and Rock N Roll Philosophy.

Batista will be facing US Champion MVP at Survivor Series. Batista thinks he's been held back for many years after falling out with Triple H and Evolution, and sees this as his big chance to finally break into the main event scene.

Edge will be defending his World Heavyweight Championship against John Cena. Edge has been the champ for an unprecedented year and a half, due to his immense popularity and health, as he has yet to suffer an injury in his 10+ year career. Cena has been favored by some backstage as due for his first championship run, but his spotty in-ring health is working against him.

[Dynamite Kid]

- Raven, having recently retired after a career encompassing being both the first (and second) Triple Crown winners and the first Grand Slam champion, is now head trainer for OVW as well as booker for both OVW and Friday Night WCW.
- Newcomer Michael Cole, previously one of the most promising stars and the only 400lber in North America able to execute a 450 splash, has tested positive for steroids, weed, crack, heroin, coke, wack, crank, turb, pep and zib. He has received a three day suspension and is expected to win his tenth OVW Championship next Sunday.
- Rajah.com may or may not be shutting down - PWTorch

[uncleslam]

-Shawn Michael's new book "My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling" is out this week. In it, he talks candidly about the Houston Screw-Job in which Eric Bischoff and Bret Hart consipired to screw him out of the WCW title.

-Vince is said to have no plans on taking the WWF World Title off of Barry Horowitz, who just this past month broke Freddie Blassie's record for longest WWF title reign ever by holding the title for 8 straight years.

-In a bit of "Where are they now?" news, remember Hulk Hogan? Yes, the blond-haired muscle-bound jobber who got squashed by then WWF Champion Shane Douglas at the first ever WWF Wrestlezania. We've recieved word that he's currently a manager at a Target store in Pittsburg.

-Shane Douglas' VH1 reality show, "Douglas Knows Best" has been renewed for another season.

[Deleted]

* Today, the WWE released their new theme song for Wrestlemania 26: "Mangled, Destroyed and Decimated" by Hilary and Haylie Duff.

* The WWE came to release with 2009 Diva Search winner, former exotic dancer Jim "JR" Ross. The WWE wishes him well in his future endeavors.

* The WWE came to release with developmental talent Paul Levesque stemming from a sexual harassment incident involving Vince McMahon's daughter, Stephanie. The WWE wishes he get hit by a bus and die in his future endeavors.

* The Internet Wrestling Community celebrated their two-year anniversary as the world's most agreeable and harmonious social culture. Among their achievements was a formal agreement over the prominent WWE midcard and an official canonical spelling of current Raw GM Santino Marella's catchphrase, "Why you snake-sucking montebanque!"

[CrazySting]

-WWE movies latest venture, starring Gene Snitzky, is expected to be an academy award frontrunner.

[Fundertaker]

- If there was any doubt that Creative is being in their best form ever, the next plan is to make everyone on the roster excluding Rey Mysterio to use masks. Their names will be completely alterated to make the change more credible, so expect news from El Legend Killer vs El Juego Jr. for the WWE Campeonato soon.

[Deleted]

-Complaints about the new ECW have reached a fevered pitch. Fans are generally bothered by the new product feeling like it's just a rehash of the old ECW, and offers nothing new. Fans have apparently become bored with the constant ECW rules matches, and watching ECW originals constantly go over the younger talent on the oversized roster. It is thought that, since they always give in to what the fans want, Vince and creative will be repackaging the brand asap.

[norbac]

devolution said:

-Complaints about the new ECW have reached a fevered pitch. Fans are generally bothered by the new product feeling like it's just a rehash of the old ECW, and offers nothing new. Fans have apparently become bored with the constant ECW rules matches, and watching ECW originals constantly go over the younger talent on the oversized roster. It is thought that, since they always give in to what the fans want, Vince and creative will be repackaging the brand asap.

WIN!

[Jay Peas 42]

ECW Champion Chris Benoit passed away yesterday, from being bitten by a rabid wolverine.

Amazing Kong has been transfered from the Orlando Zoo to serve as a mate for Mark Henry. When asked, the WWF said that there was nothing racist about this angle.

By all accounts Tony Atlas and CM Punk had constructive session at OVW.

19 time World Champion Droz retired this week, wanting to spend more time with his wife Stephanie.

Gail Kim beat Trish Stratus for the Women's Title.

Eddie's annual return to the world of the living for the annual Lucha Libre Day of the Dead Match is this Friday.

The US government denied that Crime Tyme is the victim of extreme rendition.

[BorneAgain]

Recent booking plans suggest a continued main event push for Matt Hardy, in spite of his noteworthy lack of heat from the fans. Hardy has been the subject of controversy dating back two years ago when an affair with Lita, the long time girlfriend of Edge, was leaked and turned into an angle. The resulting gimmick for Hardy the "Rated NC-17 Dean" has failed to catch on.

Vince McMahon's frequent use of timely celebrities and trends has been met with some disagreement in creative, many of whom simply can't keep up with popular culture like the chairman can.

Many backstage talents of been lobbying for increased use of the McMahon family on television, citing Linda's strong acting abilities, Stephanie's remarkable speaking voice, and Shane's willingness to quickly job to talent, as strong reasons to have them on TV. The family has been resistant thus far, including Vince himself who rejected plans to place him in on-air relationship with several of the divas.

Vince Russo has been contacted regarding possible booking duties, with the likes of both Flair and Hogan pushing for him, but given his recent conversion to Satanism, it will be unlikely he'll get in, given WWE's strong reputation as family friendly TV, as it is the number 1 clean show according to the PTC.

John Cena's recent attitude problems have earned him many enemies backstage, with many suggesting he not get above the opening card, and move the reportedly humble, and eager to learn Carlito in his place.

Melina and Mickie James, who are best friends, have been wanting to work a tag team program together, but creative is currently focused on the 2007 Female Wrestler Search, which is said to likely bring a whole new range of solid female talent into the roster. Given that the division already has 30 women wrestlers already, some have questioned if there is simply too much talent.

Several book critics, while giving many of the WWE biographies high marks, have said that they are getting too explicit and truthful, pointing to Mick Foley's 108 page ghost-written "autobiography" as an example of something easier to read.

Rajah.com recently won an award for outstanding sports journalism, citing its specific headlines, and dedication to getting all the facts.

The four disk, "Best of Vladmir Kozlov" DVD will be on the shelves soon.

[I Like Your Poetry]

After recently having tried out again for WWE during recent Raw, Smackdown! and ECW tapings, it looks like WWE will once again pass on independent wrestling sensation Paul Levesque. Officials and agents liked what they saw about the young grappler, but declined to offer him a spot at this time due to their recent policy about utilizing smaller, quicker wrestlers. It's looking doubtful that Levesque will be joining WWE at this time, but TNA has expressed interest in adding him to their roster of home-grown wrestlers.
-1wrestling.com

[RoloSolo IV]

--There is an sex videotape circling the internet of current US champion Chris Masters and another man. Chris Masters has addressed the issue saying he did it before going into wrestling as an way to make money. Masters has said he is straight and just did it for pay.


--4 Time IC and 1 Time WWE World Champion Hacksaw Jim Duggan has been arrested in Tampa for Crack. Duggan posted $5,000 bail.


--RVD has said on his website he has quit smoking Weed.



--Owen Hart is expected to retire after Wrestlemania 24. Owen Hart wants his final match to be against Chris Benoit. However Benoit is penciled to face off against Goldberg at Wrestlemania.

[Deleted]

-Batista slated to appear in a charity event to raise money for mistreated women.

-The current plan for the upcoming MITB is for Shelton Benjamin to win, followed by cashing in at the end of the night for a title win and a long heel run with the belt.

-HHH has reportedly declined another title opportunity, and says he prefers to help get younger stars over.

-Festus has been chosen to be the next member of the roster to appear in Playgirl.

-Plans for the upcoming RAW have changed. The original Hell in a Cell match for the women's title has been changed to an inferno match.

-After Nunzio's ECW title win last week, the current plan is for him to cut a heel promo alienating Italian Americans currently serving in Iraq.

-Marty Jannety has been injured, cutting short his unbroken streak of TV appearances at 181.

-The original plans for an unknown OVW wrestler being moved up to the main roster may be changed, as Vince felt the gimmick he was going to be given was "tasteless".

-After TNA beating Raw in the ratings for the 23rd time in a row, Vince has decided to focus more on the cruiserweight division.

-The upcoming draft has leaked! Here's a list of the people being moved:
From Raw to SD: HHH, HBK, Orton
From SD to RAW: Jamie Noble, Funaki, Chavo Guerrero

-Vince has decided to discontinue the diva search contest, his reason given was "Fans aren't interested, and I give the fans what they want."

-WWE has decided to cut back on all Raw and Smackdown recaps during ECW. The current model is 47 minutes of recaps per hour of ECW programming. Under the new model, that number will be cut down to just 44 minutes.

-Funk slated to appear at the tuesday SD tapings to announce his retirement match.

-After locker room complaints that Stevie Richards was being pushed far too much, the plans for his unification of all 3 world titles has been changed. The new plan is for him to simply unify the Raw and SD titles. Current ECW champion Nunzio will continue his reign as champion in this new scenario.

[uncleslam]

-there is rumor that Undertaker may actually win at next year's Wrestlemania. His current record is 0-15.

-Jeff Hardy is said to have received a standing ovation from the boys in the back after the passionate and intense promo he cut on Raw. He's been getting tips from arguably the greatest promo-man ever, Greg Valentine.

-Batista continues to suck (hey, some things stay the same no matter where you go)

[The Missing Manic]

The match of the decade voting was thrown wide open last night after Kahli Batista and The boogeyman put on an amazing high flying extravaganza

It was thought that the techical classic between HHH and Scott Steiner (for which Scott recived a standing ovation) was well and truely home and dry