Tiiulicious
Bubba Ho-Tep
Not much upstairs, but what a staircase! :)
Posts: 591 
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Post by Tiiulicious on Nov 3, 2007 16:10:20 GMT -5
So, the concept is simple, what do you think actually happens during a meeting of the creative team?
Vince: Okay guys, what do you have for me?
Normal Person: How about putting CM Punk in a long-standing feud with Elijah Burke for the ECW Title that lasts until Wrestlemania? Or elevating both Matt Hardy and MVP in the World title picture and letting them have 20 minute matches?
Vince butt kisser #1: That sucks. Nobody likes that. How about reforming DX and more rooster jokes for 30 minutes for every Raw? I mean, who doesn’t love cock jokes?
Vince butt kisser #2: Then we can do that triangle that you’ve always wanted. Lets have Jillian and Mickie start a lesbian relationship that ends when Jillian discovers Mickie in bed with you Mr. McMahon, but then Jillian hops into bed as well and we get a ménage a trois. Who wouldn’t want to see that? I bet Bonnie Hammer will get off your back with that winner.
Vince butt kisser #2 (whispering to butt kisser #1): I got that from Days Of Our Lives yesterday, but Vince will never know since he thinks everything we do is original.
Normal Person: Why couldn’t we have real wrestling and wrestling oriented storylines?
Vince: You’re Fired. You’re out of touch with the fan base. Who in their right mind would rather watch wrestling than me rolling in the sack with two hot girls. Say hi to Heyman when you reach the unemployment line. There’s another one that was completely out of touch.
Johnny Ace rushes in with swimsuit catalogues in hand: Did I miss the meeting? I was doing research. See pages 12, 7 and 2. They have great potential.
Vince: Great work Ace. I could never have enough of females to sexually harass. If these are as dumb as the previous girls, remind me to give you a raise.
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General Zod
Samurai Cop
KNEEL!
KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!
Posts: 2,163
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Post by General Zod on Nov 3, 2007 16:19:28 GMT -5
I often wonder if Vince has his theme music play when he enters his conference room, complete with a mini-titan tron video playing on the overhead projector? I bet Lillian Garcia introduces him each time, too as he silly walks to the head of the table and takes a seat. Should any newbie writer on the team question exactly what the f*** is going on, he is to be wished well in his future endavors.
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Post by The Thread Barbi on Nov 3, 2007 16:21:50 GMT -5
So, the concept is simple, what do you think actually happens during a meeting of the creative team? Vince: Okay guys, what do you have for me? Normal Person: How about putting CM Punk in a long-standing feud with Elijah Burke for the ECW Title that lasts until Wrestlemania? Or elevating both Matt Hardy and MVP in the World title picture and letting them have 20 minute matches? Vince butt kisser #1: That sucks. Nobody likes that. How about reforming DX and more rooster jokes for 30 minutes for every Raw? I mean, who doesn’t love cock jokes? Vince butt kisser #2: Then we can do that triangle that you’ve always wanted. Lets have Jillian and Mickie start a lesbian relationship that ends when Jillian discovers Mickie in bed with you Mr. McMahon, but then Jillian hops into bed as well and we get a ménage a trois. Who wouldn’t want to see that? I bet Bonnie Hammer will get off your back with that winner. Vince butt kisser #2 (whispering to butt kisser #1): I got that from Days Of Our Lives yesterday, but Vince will never know since he thinks everything we do is original. Normal Person: Why couldn’t we have real wrestling and wrestling oriented storylines? Vince: You’re Fired. You’re out of touch with the fan base. Who in their right mind would rather watch wrestling than me rolling in the sack with two hot girls. Say hi to Heyman when you reach the unemployment line. There’s another one that was completely out of touch. Johnny Ace rushes in with swimsuit catalogues in hand: Did I miss the meeting? I was doing research. See pages 12, 7 and 2. They have great potential. Vince: Great work Ace. I could never have enough of females to sexually harass. If these are as dumb as the previous girls, remind me to give you a raise. Good effort. But this needs the angryfan treatment. |
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Post by Aaron E. Dangerously on Nov 3, 2007 18:31:56 GMT -5
Vince: Alright guys, we need ideas for post-WrestleMania stories. Whaddya got?
Creative Guy #1: Cocks.
Vince: Whose cocks?
CG #1: Your cock.
Vince: *pauses* I like it.
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Post by Dynamite Kid on Nov 3, 2007 18:35:15 GMT -5
Vince: Okay, so where do we stand on the Diva Search?
Ace: Well we have the ten finalists.
Vince: So how many of them are willing to do an on-air angle with me?
Ace: All of them, sir.
Vince: How many of them are willing to make out with me on TV in the process of that angle?
Ace: Eight of them, sir. Plus one more if we give her an extra five grand a year.
Vince: She's out. How many of them are willing to do an off-air angle with me, if you get my meaning?
Ace: Well, I don't think we er...oh wait here it is, five of them, sir. Six if you count the one who er...would do it instead of pay.
Vince: She wins. And how many of you people are willing to do an off-air angle with me?
Ace: Er...
Vince: Ace, even I can tell what kind of shit you've been booking since I hired you. It's your choice, give me a handjob or I give you a job dusting Big V's tits.
Ace: I'll take the dusting.
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Post by RedSmile on Nov 3, 2007 18:50:44 GMT -5
I sure would like to know how they really go
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Post by Moonwalkin' Capt. Crow on Nov 3, 2007 23:56:00 GMT -5
Vince: Okay, so where do we stand on the Diva Search? Ace: Well we have the ten finalists. Vince: So how many of them are willing to do an on-air angle with me? Ace: All of them, sir. Vince: How many of them are willing to make out with me on TV in the process of that angle? Ace: Eight of them, sir. Plus one more if we give her an extra five grand a year. Vince: She's out. How many of them are willing to do an off-air angle with me, if you get my meaning? Ace: Well, I don't think we er...oh wait here it is, five of them, sir. Six if you count the one who er...would do it instead of pay. Vince: She wins. And how many of you people are willing to do an off-air angle with me? Ace: Er... Vince: Ace, even I can tell what kind of crap you've been booking since I hired you. It's your choice, give me a handjob or I give you a job dusting Big V's tits. Ace: I'll take the dusting. This happens to be 99% accurate probably. ROFLCOPTER!!!! |
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Post by Jock Ass on Nov 4, 2007 0:19:35 GMT -5
I often wonder if Vince has his theme music play when he enters his conference room, complete with a mini-titan tron video playing on the overhead projector? I bet Lillian Garcia introduces him each time, too as he silly walks to the head of the table and takes a seat. Should any newbie writer on the team question exactly what the smurf is going on, he is to be wished well in his future endavors. ROFL!  I could see it as something similar to the meeting scene from Big Money Hustlas.... Big Baby Sweets = Vince McMahon Big Stank = Pat Patterson Lil Poot = Gerald Briscoe Green Willie = Kevin Dunn Hazad = Robert "Sgt. Slaughter" Remus Fat T***** Kittie = Stephanie McMahon-Levesque The Preacherman = Bruce Pritchard Bootleg Greg = John Laurinaitis |
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Post by voiceboxisback on Nov 4, 2007 0:20:49 GMT -5
Nice, this used to be my old weekly series
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Lancers
El Dandy
Oh you
Posts: 7,951
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Post by Lancers on Nov 4, 2007 0:25:32 GMT -5
*Meeting begins with Vince at the end of the table looking at himself in the mirror smiling*
Vince: "Alright people. Ratings are going down the toilet. Bonnie Hammer has been breathing down my neck. And someone ate my lunch I left in the fridge. MY NAME WAS MARKED ON THE TUPPERWARE DAMMIT! Needless to say, I'm pissed off."
Steph: "After doing our research, we discovered it was Lydia the cleaning lady who ate your tuna casserole. She probably didn't know you refer to yourself as 'Sargent Studthruster' when you mark down food in the fridge."
Vince: "Fire her anyway. I don't wanna that mistake to happen twice."
Steph: "Will do."
Vince: "Not that we got that issue settled. I need to know why we're losing fan interest. I want answers and I want them now."
Shane: "Well dad. It's kind of a multi-faceted question..."
Vince: "SHAAAADUP! That's the kind of backtalk that's gonna get you from working here to having to scrub toilets at a Holiday Inn in Fayetteville, North Carolina. That's what happened to Ed Ferrara."
Shane: "But dad. It's true. There's a lot of problems with the product. Key guys getting injured. Suspensions. Negative perception of wrestling after the Benoit fallout. For crying out loud, we took our biggest storyline in years and culminated it with you having a leprechaun for a son."
Vince: "So your saying I should end the Wellness Policy so guys stop getting suspended?"
HHH: "Yes."
Shane: "No dad. It's not the Wellness Policy."
Vince: "So your saying I should fire Hornswoggle?"
Shane: "NO DAD! What I'm saying is there's a lot of problems that's caused by forces beyond our control."
Vince: "I see. This is all God's fault."
*Shane walks out in disgust*
Johnny Ace: "Quite frankly Vince. I think we need more divas. Everyone knows that the majority of wrestling fans are nerdy, sexless drones who love looking at big breasted women."
Steph: "John, for the last time. NO MORE DIVAS! Sometimes I think you're more interested in googling up fitness models than actually doing your job."
Ace: "Hey, I'll have you know I fired a diva yesterday. The one that had the jaw that reminded me of Quagmire from "Family Guy". I think her name is Brittany or Brooke or something with a B in it."
*McMahon pounds his fist on the desk*
McMahon: "THAT'S IT! I'm going to the tanning salon and grope some 19 year old attendant. You guys figure this thing out. When I come back, I better see some results. We have to do whatever we can to appease our fans. Especially our internet fans who have stood by us for years and have never complained ever about our product. They are truly the reasons why we are here."
*the entire boardroom laughs hysterically*
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default
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Blames Everything On Snitsky. Yes, Even THAT.
Posts: 17,056
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Post by default on Nov 4, 2007 1:32:29 GMT -5
See sig.
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Post by Tiger Millionaire on Nov 4, 2007 1:36:58 GMT -5
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Post by robferatu on Nov 4, 2007 3:36:52 GMT -5
I often wonder if Vince has his theme music play when he enters his conference room, complete with a mini-titan tron video playing on the overhead projector? I bet Lillian Garcia introduces him each time, too as he silly walks to the head of the table and takes a seat. Should any newbie writer on the team question exactly what the smurf is going on, he is to be wished well in his future endavors. I've often imagined that as well. Like every time he walks down a hallway backstage it starts playing, or any time a writer or wrestler comes up to him offering suggestions it hits as well. I always wished he'd stolen New Jacks gimmick of having his entrance music play throughout his matches, especially during his fued with Lashley. |
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Post by CMPunkyBrewster on Nov 4, 2007 3:38:30 GMT -5
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Post by bindergang on Nov 4, 2007 3:58:11 GMT -5
Here's my crack at it:
Vince walks into the meeting room.
Big Dick Johnson is dancing naked on the table.
Ranjin Singh, hands in the air, chanting "KHALI SINDABAH!".
Vince: Keep up the good work!
Vince walks out, end of meeting.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Nov 4, 2007 6:05:08 GMT -5
You win teh internets!!11! |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 4, 2007 6:53:44 GMT -5
Here's my take:
Vince: "Hrm, I wonder if I should use the instinct and business acumen that has enabled my successes to outnumber my failures over my entire adult life"
Johnny Ace: "No, you should listen to the smarks."
V: "But what multi-million-dollar industry have the smarks combined to lead through two decades of prosperity?"
JA: "Uh.. they're SMART.. thus the s- prefix".
Vince: "Sounds good to me! Let's let Beth Phoenix wrestle Candace to a 60 minute draw for our main event!"
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Post by pixiesfan on Nov 4, 2007 6:59:33 GMT -5
Writer: Erm.. Mr McMahon, exactly why is it me who has to do your laundry every d- Vince: *shouts* IS IT THAT WHAT YOU WANT? HA? Writer: Ex...cuse me?? Vince: *rips shirt* Writer:  Vince: Yeah, I guessed so... See, THIS is a KNIFE. NOW GO AHEAD AND USE IT. STREAK IT ACROSS MY CHEST. TORTURE ME! TORTURRRE MEEE! Writer: ..... Vince: I... AM... JESUS!! Writer: Yeah, I'll just go home then and check if your laundry is don- Vince: BLERGHVNMUIOPTZAE!!! |
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Post by Topher is Human on Nov 4, 2007 7:06:40 GMT -5
Writer: Erm.. Mr McMahon, exactly why is it me who has to do your laundry every d- Vince: *shouts* IS IT THAT WHAT YOU WANT? HA? Writer: Ex...cuse me?? Vince: *rips shirt* Writer: Vince: Yeah, I guessed so... See, THIS is a KNIFE. NOW GO AHEAD AND USE IT. STREAK IT ACROSS MY CHEST. TORTURE ME! TORTURRRE MEEE! Writer: ..... Vince: I... AM... JESUS!! Writer: Yeah, I'll just go home then and check if your laundry is don- Vince: BLERGHVNMUIOPTZAE!!! Mel Gibson ftw |
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