The rebirth of the Raw Caption thread!

[The F'N Captain]

With apologies to lildude if these suck.


Coming soon from WWE Films: Wizard of Oz 2000.

It took a while but Coach finally decided who he would give a rose to on WWE's take on "The Bachelor".

No one knew Beth was such a big Miz fan....

Snitsky surprised everyone with his impressive use of The Force.

Snitsky was unamused at Carlito's discovery of his opponent having an "outtie".

Rey Mysterio-"YAY! DADDY'S HOME! WHAT YA GET ME DADDY?"

Maria was amazed that touching the back of Santino's head made a Codemn DVD pop out of his mouth.

Everyone was having a great time until Steve drunkenly ran over the ring killing seven people....

...Likewise until they realized Santino had drowned in the blast.

SCSA couldn't resist putting Mentos in his beer after watching Mythbusters.

After the match Dusty called Cody and reminded him to quit getting so excited about things like an irish whip.

Lance Cade experiences Cody's new finisher, the "Splattered Beans".

Hardcore swore he'd stay close to Rhodes until he perfected his SDvR Caw of him.

Hass is scared silly when Duggan asks him to "Change my colostomy bag, toughguy!"

Embaressing foot odor? Try lamisil.

[Mozenrath]

Beerkake.

That, uh, going too far?

[I'm The Cool One]

Snitsky sucessfully using a jobber as a shot put... Look at that form!!


It's eerie, huh Charlie? Like looking into the future.

[thesam07]

Beth may have given the clothesline. but Kelly gave the tweak.


Snitsky also gives a tweak.


Coach: Seriously, what the hell happened to this show?


WWE Shopzone presents "WWE Pez Dispensers".

Buy this Santino Marella Pez and get a free copy of "The Condemned" (seriously, we need the money for it)

[I Graduated Warrior University]

"Knock it back and have another one, drinking and driving is so much fun!"
10 internets to anyone who knows the song...

[tonyexile]

stephsdemonchild said:

"Knock it back and have another one, drinking and driving is so much fun!"
10 internets to anyone who knows the song...

Holy Cow! The Business referenced on wrestlecrap, 'tis gonna be a good day already!

[lotus]

Ladies and Gentlemen, remember WWE Fantasy? Well this is my picks for the week and that's why I'm Numbah One this time!

[seano]

Seriously, Triple H...........clean up after yourself, for Christ's sake...



Well, so much for Kelly's implants.



Snitsky: OMFG! Carlito is teh gay for touching mes!!



FOR EDDIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!



Maria: Silly Santino, you don't eat DVDs! Even I know that!



Upon realizing this wasn't beer, Santino wishes he'd just taken that ribbing from JBL in the showers and been done with the humiliation.



Hardcore Holly: I love you.
Cody: What?!
Hardcore Holly: Oh geez, did I say that or think that?!
Cody: Dude, you totally said that!
Hardcore Holly: Really? Oh.......uh.....yeah, well.....*physically abuses Cody Rhodes* ah, that's better....I'm still a man....



WWE Creative: So Charlie, when Duggan does that thumbs up thing you sell it like he's Batista giving the thumbs down.
Charlie: What?! He's not Batista! That makes no sense at all!
WWE Creative: It's this or be a gay tag team with Butch Reed Shelton Benjamin and managed by an ostrich.
Charlie: So how much you want me to pee myself?



It wasn't the choreographed kick to the face that took Randy down, it was that extra little toot from Shawn.

Ah, DX, you never will grow up will you...?

[Avalanche Alvarez]

Eagles reunion tour, my ass! Where's that scalper?!



COACH: "I didn't know those where your underwear, Khali. I thought it was Mr. McMahon's car cover, but when I came across those skidmarks..."



CAMERAMAN: "How hard did you say you had to hit Kelly Kelly to teach her not to step in a wrestling ring again?"
BETH: "Fairly hard!"



Recent budget cutbacks in the WWE have forced them to stop using the T-Shirt Gun for the waiting audiences. Seen here, Eugene Snitsky figured a way around that, tossing OVW jobbers out into the crowd instead. Way to save a buck, Eugene!



SNITSKY: "You apply the deoderant UNDER your arm vigorously."
CARLITO: "Thanks for the tip."
SNITSKY: "Dispensing hygiene tips is my pleasure. So...are you liking the new gimmick?"
CARLITO: "Not so much."
SNITSKY: "F***ing writers."



Seen here is the aftermath of Santino Morella's interview with a rather insulted Chef Boyardee, knocking him out cold with one punch and stuffing his new DVD "I've Got No Beefaroni With You: The Chef Boyardee Story" into Morella's mouth before leaving.



In lue of a paycheck, Steve Austin accepted a Budweiser truck but was sad to find no beer inside when he got home. Just several hundred thousand copies of "The Condemned" instead.



JR: "It's a beer bath, King!"
King: "Hey, why doesn't Stone Cold take a drink from that beer hose, JR?"
JR: "Cause it's only water, Jerry. Read your lines....were we live on that one?"
KING: "...you just killed kayfabe, JR."



JR: "Whisper in the Wind."
King: "That's Rey Mysterio, JR. Whisper in the Wind is Jeff Hardy."



JR: "Whisper in the Wi..!"
KING: "No! Wrong! Once more and I take your hat!"
JR: "...I'll be good."



ORTON: (Muffled) "You're right. These boots have more tread to them than the ones I use. Good night."

[DeuceDominoMark]

Hiding from the law once again, Phil Spector was worried that Coach recognized him in his Runjin disguise...



Santino: "I am a better actor than a you a! See? I do a The Matrix!"



Seeing Cody stand like that gave Hardcore terrorizing flashbacks of being in the ring with Rico.



Charlie: "Dude!! Deodorant, please!!"



After the show, the referee chewed out Michaels for hogging the camera.

[CM Punk's Favorite Boobs]

Santino: Thanks Trish for a teaching me the a Matrix move.

[Mrs. Potato Dick]

"Young man! Are you listening to me?! I said Young man...."

[lildude8218]

I just hadn't been bothered to do any since I couldn't get to them on WWE.com

[Dragonfly]

...And with that, Snitsky and Carlito put an end to Joey "Kaos" Munoz's one-man XPW invasion. And the people cheered.

[MCMGM]

kiddobradley said:

Beerkake.

That, uh, going too far?

If that was Maria, then you would have won the thread.

[Limey]

#One of these men is not like the other, one of these men is someone the smarks like. Did you get it? Correct! It's the cameraman!!!


Khali: IT'S JAWS!!!
Coach: Khali, I haven't started ye...
Khali: GONE WITH THE WIND!!!
Coach: Khali, do they even have charades in Indi...
Khali: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER!!!!!
Coach: Alright, seriously, can someone sit him down?


Beth: NOBODY THREATENS MY GIGANTIC GOLDEN AFRO!!! BOBO BOBO BO-BOBO!!!!!


Jobber: N-no...not the armpi...HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! St...HA HA HA HA!!!!
Snitsky: Hey, IT WASN'T MY FAULT you got born ticklish!!!


Snitsky: AH PET DA JOBBAW TOO HARD!!! NOW HE AIN'T MOVIN' NO MO'!!!!
Carlito: ....Gene? Would you mind...turning around...so I can tell you...about the rabbits?


Rey: Try my "Nuts to your face" fighting style!!!


Everyone was amazed when the DVD of The Condemned gave Santino a Bronco Buster. Even Minuki's Ladder.


When Trucker Norm became anorexic...


Austin sprayed Santino so hard, that his head and torso got blasted clean off of his body and into row twenty. The current WWEshopzone bid for the former Santino Marella's remains (signed by Austin himself) is $450.87, not including postage.


Austin: MY BEER WILL BLOCK OUT THE SUN...SO I MAY DRINK IN THE SHADE!!!


Cody's new gimmick...ADD!
Cody: What's that? What's that? Oooh...what is THAT? Hey! You're the guy with the big golden belt! Hi! Ew...what's wrong with your hair? Where are we going? Are you coming back for me?
Murdoch: COULD SOMEONE INCINERATE THIS KID?


Cody: Aw, now when did I step in THAT? Thought I smelt something. Oh well...better shake it off...


#Hey dude...I was...thinking...we could...go do...something...diiirty, yeah...


ROCK PAPER SCISSORS...

Haas: TWO papers!!
Duggan: Grenade!!!
Haas: Oh, you always pick grenade!!! It's not fair!!!


Orton: Hello? No, I'm fine, I'm calling you right now on my brand new life-sized Shawn Michaels shaped cell phone!! The reception's not that great, but all the cool kids have one, so I figured what the heck.

[Bob Schlapowitz]

Cody - "Hey, waitasec! Why am I so concerned with earning your respect? You haven't done anything of not since this place was still a Federation!