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Post by amsiraK on Jun 1, 2008 8:31:10 GMT -5
Wicker Man remake. The amount of things that would have to happen right for the evil bee women's plan to work made my head explode. This. I also want to nominate Nic Cage's character for the dumbest cop ever award for not seeing that it was a setup much sooner I don't get him. He's got two modes: piece of wood and Calculon. There's absolutely no in-between. The Dukes of Hazard with Johnny Knoxville and Stiffler does me in. Big headache there.
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Post by Psy on Jun 1, 2008 9:22:57 GMT -5
This. I also want to nominate Nic Cage's character for the dumbest cop ever award for not seeing that it was a setup much sooner I don't get him. He's got two modes: piece of wood and Calculon. There's absolutely no in-between. This is the funniest thing I have read all week.
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The QC Loser
Hank Scorpio
Come on follow my Twitter I'm cool!
Posts: 6,241
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Post by The QC Loser on Jun 1, 2008 10:46:57 GMT -5
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Vengeance Of War
Bubba Ho-Tep
You say you want everyone happy? Well...we're not laughing.
Posts: 619
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Post by Vengeance Of War on Jun 1, 2008 13:50:52 GMT -5
Wicker Man remake. The amount of things that would have to happen right for the evil bee women's plan to work made my head explode. STEP AWAY FROM THE BIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by amsiraK on Jun 1, 2008 14:43:49 GMT -5
I don't get him. He's got two modes: piece of wood and Calculon. There's absolutely no in-between. This is the funniest thing I have read all week. Hell, it's making me laugh and I wrote it!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2008 15:45:14 GMT -5
Why has no one mentioned the 2 Matrix sequels........4 Pages and no-one has mentioned those? C'mon!
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Chainsaw
T
A very BAD man.
It is what it is
Posts: 90,480
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Post by Chainsaw on Jun 1, 2008 16:16:43 GMT -5
This. I also want to nominate Nic Cage's character for the dumbest cop ever award for not seeing that it was a setup much sooner I don't get him. He's got two modes: piece of wood and Calculon. There's absolutely no in-between. I have a theory on this, and I came up with it while watching "Lord Of War". Nic Cage doesn't play characters. He plays Nic Cage playing characters. So, say in "Lord Of War", he's not playing a Ukranian arms dealer, he's playing NIC CAGE playing a Ukranian arms dealer! I've seen a lot of actors do this in movies, but Nic seems to have a knack for taking it to a next, terrible level.
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The Royal Our Herobaums
Trap-Jaw
I don't think you're an asshole, Royal; I just think you're kind of a sonuvabitch.
Posts: 407
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Post by The Royal Our Herobaums on Jun 1, 2008 16:21:54 GMT -5
Cube II: Hypercube. Now, I really liked the first Cube. And I'm no math genius, but I could at least loosely follow the mathematic concepts going on therein.
But in Cube II? There's all this hypothetical stuff, like time flowing differently in different areas, or flowing differently for two different people in the same area, or diverging into alternate paths that intersect over and over again.
And the actual plot was convoluted, too. Like, when it's revealed who the actual villain is. Zuh? Ultimately, I'm left feeling like I have no clue what the f*** went on in that film.
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sxeskank
AC Slater
I wield the chair leg of truth. It is wise and terrible.
Posts: 169
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Post by sxeskank on Jun 1, 2008 18:45:56 GMT -5
All David Lynch movies should get an obvious nom. Eraserhead, Lost Highway, Mulholland Drive, all specifically designed to make your head hurt.
A few that pop to mind for me are Deja Vu, Southland Tales, and Secretary.
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Post by amsiraK on Jun 2, 2008 12:39:01 GMT -5
I don't get him. He's got two modes: piece of wood and Calculon. There's absolutely no in-between. I have a theory on this, and I came up with it while watching "Lord Of War". Nic Cage doesn't play characters. He plays Nic Cage playing characters. So, say in "Lord Of War", he's not playing a Ukranian arms dealer, he's playing NIC CAGE playing a Ukranian arms dealer! I've seen a lot of actors do this in movies, but Nic seems to have a knack for taking it to a next, terrible level. Oh lord. Is that what he's like in real life then? I've only seen clips of Wicker Man, but... oh no. ROFL! I'd love to see him get pissed at his cable bill, in that case.
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Bobeddy
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Made a Terrible Mistake
Posts: 15,154
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Post by Bobeddy on Jun 2, 2008 12:45:09 GMT -5
Cube 2: Hypercube.
Maybe I'm just slow, but the more I tried to grasp the concept of what being in a Hypercube would be like, the more I made my brain sad.
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Post by Confused Mark Wahlberg on Jun 2, 2008 12:45:09 GMT -5
Roadhouse.
The plot is beyond ridiculous, and this film seems to exist for the purpose of showing Swayze with no shirt, and the dumbest line ever, 'pain don't hurt'.
Not to mention Swayze ripping out throats, and about five people killing the bad guy with apparently no jail time afterwards.
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The Royal Our Herobaums
Trap-Jaw
I don't think you're an asshole, Royal; I just think you're kind of a sonuvabitch.
Posts: 407
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Post by The Royal Our Herobaums on Jun 2, 2008 18:30:28 GMT -5
Roadhouse. The plot is beyond ridiculous, and this film seems to exist for the purpose of showing Swayze with no shirt, and the dumbest line ever, 'pain don't hurt'. Not to mention Swayze ripping out throats, and about five people killing the bad guy with apparently no jail time afterwards. Okay, you're right about the movie as a whole being pointless and rather stupid. But, seriously here, Sam Wilson's character is the sexiest thing since sex was invented. And so the whole movie was worth it anyway. In fact, I have watched that movie on purpose numerous times, just for Sam Wilson's parts.
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The Ichi
Patti Mayonnaise
AGGRESSIVE Executive Janitor of the Third Floor Manager's Bathroom
Posts: 37,304
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Post by The Ichi on Jun 2, 2008 18:40:21 GMT -5
Donnie Darko.
Maybe I'm just dumb, maybe my attention isn't very good, but seriously...WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS MOVIE???
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Agent P
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Wooo
Posts: 18,180
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Post by Agent P on Jun 2, 2008 21:49:44 GMT -5
Bloody Murder. How can a movie called Bloody Murder just suck so badly? Did you see the sequel? Yes, they made a sequel. No i did not. I didn't even know they had a sequel and am happy I never watched it.
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Post by Sir Woodrow on Jun 2, 2008 22:06:19 GMT -5
"Killing me won't bring back your god damn honey!"
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Post by Virt McGirt on Jun 3, 2008 1:00:57 GMT -5
21. True, the fact that I watched it with Portugese subtitles on might have factored in, but all in all, I just got confused. (I was once good at Math too, guess it's true that "if you don't use it you lose it")
Although, now when I "spurt", I say, "Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner" ;D
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Joie De Vivre
Hank Scorpio
There's always next year.
Posts: 5,278
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Post by Joie De Vivre on Jun 3, 2008 1:12:51 GMT -5
American Wedding. It wasn't a complex story or anything, it was more of the gags being so damn asinine.
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Post by Captain Wonderful on Jun 3, 2008 2:00:11 GMT -5
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Gummo. smurf everything about this movie except the awesome soundtrack. What the hell is that movie about, anyway? From what I gathered, it's about a kid who kills cats and then eats dinner in the bathtub. Also, ironically, of all the horror movies and splatter flicks I've seen in my life, I nominate that scene for "most repulsive thing ever shot on film."
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Post by 'Foretold' Joker on Jun 3, 2008 10:49:56 GMT -5
Cube 2: Hypercube. Maybe I'm just slow, but the more I tried to grasp the concept of what being in a Hypercube would be like, the more I made my brain sad. Wasn't there a third cube movie?
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