DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
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Post by DQorDie on Aug 2, 2005 21:55:51 GMT -5
Kurt Angle is making his way to ringside & is in a bathrobe covering up his bikini for the contest. He is still in his wheelchair wheeling himself to the entranceway until he runs into Curly Long & Mr. Big
Curly Long: Hey Angle, whatcha got under yer bathrobe for tonight?
Curly hops off of Mr. Big's shoulders & tries to take a peak
KA: Get away from me you sick perverted midget! *kicks him off*
CL: Haha & they call me short! Haha.
The Crowd chants "VLB!"
KA: Listen you pint sized peice of crap get out of my way. I have a *hesitates* bikini match to win back my gold medals against that roided up maniac, Flex Magnificent. Now let me pass you bridge troll.
CL: How dare you! *starts biting his kneecaps*
KA: AAAAHHHH! GET HIM OFF!
The men in suits interrupt this altercation & free both men. Kurt wheels off to the entranceway
KA: Goddammit....I really gotta stop working internet message board feds.
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Post by Oceanic on Aug 2, 2005 22:10:55 GMT -5
Oceanic is reading the match board for this week. She is really enjoying what she's seeing.
"Billy Ubermark in a show girl gown! Nice! Mike Ragnal and Leaping Lanny Poffo in bra and panties! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh wait! Ultimo Chocula in a pit of chocolate! Yummy! What is this? A-bomb in a lingerie pillow fight! Ha! Ha! This is too funny! I'm so glad I'm recording this!"
She is laughing to herself when a stage hand approaches her.
"Miss Oceanic? You're match is coming up soon."
She composes herself but is still smiling ear to ear.
"Cool."
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DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
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Post by DQorDie on Aug 2, 2005 23:00:46 GMT -5
The bell rings as we go to the ring announcer for our next bout. The camera is now directed on him
Ring Announcer: Ladies & gentleman. This match is the special BIKINI MATCH!!! for the Olypmic Gold Medals!!!
Kurt Angle's theme hits as the fans start chanting "YOU SUCK!" along with the beat as Kurt Angle wheels himself out to the aisle in his wheelchair wearing a red, white, & blue robe with matching neck brace alongside a look of utter disgust in what he must do to win his gold medals back.
Gorilla Monsoon: Look at the look on the face of Kurt Angle. I can't begin to believe the anguish this man is going through. Just for the sake of getting his gold medals back.
Jesse "The Body" Ventura: Let me tell ya, Monsoon. Kurt Angle has a standing contract with the EWT. If he doesn't like what he has to do he can easily breach it & get sued!
RA: First coming down the aisle from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 250 lbs. He is Kurt Angle!
The fans continue to boo him as he slowly makes his way out of the wheelchair & into the ring
All of a sudden the lights dim, The choir walks out & begins to sing "Hallelujah" & we are ready for his opponent
RA: And HIS opponent. Coming down the aisle with "The Doctor of Muscletology" Dr. Frederic Delavier. Hailing from Nuremberg, Germany with a weight of 330 lbs. of pure muscle with arms in length of 30 inches, waist 38", legs 24" & at a height of 6'7" he is the undefeated WBF Champion, the Scammy Award Winning, & Olympic Gold Medalist......He is the Genetic Superman.........FLEX MAGNIFCENT!!!!!!!!!!![/i]
Out of the curtain now comes the showgirls who part so Flex & Dr. Delavier make their way through the curtain. Flex is wearing a white rhinestone bathrobe as Delavier is wearing his usual white track suit. Following them of course is the WBF championship, the Scammy Award for "Best Debut", & the Olypmic Gold Medals all in seperate glass cases. Flex has a big smile on his face more so than usual & seems happy to be participating in this kind of match
JV: The procession of Magnificence is here, Gorilla! Look at Flex Magnificent & the Doctor of Muscletology in all their glory!
GM: Give me a break.
Flex enters the ring along with Delavier who move to an opposite corner,
RA: And now....the special guest judge for this competition.....JERRY "THE KING" LAWLER!!!! *his music plays but no one shows up* Ladies & gentlemen JERRY "THE KING" LAWLER!!!
Still no one shows up until out of nowhere out comes the King being pushed out by a number of people from the back. His crown falls & he picks it back up & walks to the ring very pissed off
Jerry enters the ring & grabs the mic
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Listen, somehow I got caught up in some contractual obligations that I can't get out of & so I'm here. THANKS VINCE!!!! So let's get this poor excuse for a female bodybuilding compeitition on the road....I have some underage women to harass.
JL: First off. We have Kurt Angle. Show 'em what you got Kurt.
Kurt hesitates real bad, but an official at ringside reminds Angle what will happen if he doesn't so slowly Kurt takes off his robe to display a American themed bikini that should be on a calender girl instead of an olympic gold medalist. The crowd boos him to no extent. He lacklusters around the ring with a few playfull yet half-assed poses & tells the King he's finished. The crowd are throwing garbage into the ring at this point.
JL: Well........wasn't that something, Yeeeeah. Now let's get to Flex Magnificent.
Flex Magnificent: *Grabs the mic* Listen politely while I talk into dis micropho'. I know dat during dis bekene compaytichun dat I was a bit hesitant in comin' out here dressed in women's clothes. BUT aftuh I took a look in da mirror wit wut I had on I was spellbound. I look even mo' magkneeficent than usual. Which goes do show dat men can wear women's clothing & be just as magkneeficent. But before I take my robe off I may warn you...especially you King. When you see what I have do offer it may just turn you all gay. In dat case once you are all gay I'd like for you do kill yourselves right when it happens. So when you die I will steal all your wallets because da dead gays you people won't need yo money. I will have it all do myself. And none of your can put yo grubby gay liddle finguhs on me.OK? Is dat clear?
JL: *grabs the mic back* Yes, very. Now hurry up. I've had enough of this sausage fest.
GM: Now he already comes down to wrestle with barely anything on. So this could only mean.....
Flex acknowledges him & begins to take his robe off with a big smile on his face to reveal a bikini so skimpy that even Jenna Jameson would consider too revealing. Apparently his jingle bells are showing sending the crowd into irate madness as they boo him even louder & start throwing everything that can into the ring!
GM: OH NO! *vomits on the air*
Flex finishes up his posing routine as we know go back to Jerry the King who is trying to swallow his own tongue. Kurt is
JL: *Stops his tongue swallowing act* Uuuugh. That is the sickest most vile s*** I have ever seen. And I'm the f****n' judge! Dear God kill me! The winner of this is.....
Both Flex & Kurt look on eagerly in anticipation since both have a lot riding on this.
JL: TOOMI & THE PEOPLE WHO RUN THIS PLACE!!! BECAUSE THEY SUCKERED YOU INTO BUYING TICKETS FOR THIS GARBAGE!!!!
The King runs out of the ring as both men are left alone.
Kurt Angle: Where the hell is he going?! I've got to win my medals back! I WANT MY MEDALS!!!!
Angle pushes Flex Magnificent & continues to push him letting him know he'd like his medals back immediately. In retaliation Flex pushes Angle back with so much force he runs backwards into the ropes where a waiting Dr. Frederic Delavier is waiting & pulls Angle's head back over the ropes. Angle immediately falls forward where Flex catches him & lands a neckbreaker on Angle's already broken neck. Flex capitalizes on the fallen Angle & takes off his neck brace & sinches on the Flex Capacitor with some added leverage in the form of his knee on Angle's back applying more pressure to it.
Officials ram shack the ring to help Kurt only to see Flex's jingle bells wagging in the air. So they think better & run out of the ring. The bell continues to be rung as someone grabs a megaphone & tempts Flex with the promise that the Ico Pro truck just pulled in with free products as a part of his endorsement deal. Flex gets off & exits the ring with Delavier. Both men have big smiles on their faces as Flex poses a few more times down the aisle as they leave.
GM: Jesse, this man has gone where few dare to roam. He is a dangerous individual & I just hope that Limey knows what he's getting into.
JV: Give it up, Monsoon. We know that lemonhead is all guts & no brains. He's getting himself into something that he can't get out of!
GM: That is yet to be seen, Jess. Let's go to the back with the latest member of the growing EWT broadcast team, Sean Mooney!
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DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
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Post by DQorDie on Aug 2, 2005 23:01:03 GMT -5
The camera is now on Sean Mooney backstage in front of the EWT logo
Sean Mooney: Hello everyone I'm Sean Mooney with an EWT Supercrap exclusive. I am about to have a word with his magnificence, Flex Magnificent & the "Doctor of Muscletology" Dr. Frederic Delavier.
They both enter wearing their gear from the bikini competition
SM: Flex Magnificent, it seems you have rebroken the neck of Kurt Angle who was merely trying to reclaim his olympic gold medals?
Flex Magnificent: Listen politely while I tell you da whole trute & nothin' but da trute. As you may have seen he provoked me & I merely defended myself. He knew dat he couldn't beat me in da ring & he knew he couldn't beat me in a bekeyknee bawdy competichun so as a last ditch effort he tried to kill me.
SM: HE TRIED TO KILL YOU? But wait...what is there to defend? You're built like a house & he has a broken neck. How....
FM: *interrupts* Moooney, do you have any idea wha happened to da last man who tried do question me?
SM: *gulps* My apologies your magnificence.
FM: Bettuh.
SM: Well what about the biting evidence found from Limey about the capture of his girlfriend & manager, Carla?
FM: *gets suspicious* Huh?
SM: Limey. We're talking about.....
FM: *starts getting angry* Wutt???!!!!
SM: Ah....
FM: Listen Mooney!!!!....Maybe you should cut off da little girlie drinks you have at da bar. You & your Shirley Templetons are going to get you off da track at you new job. Dat & having de sex wit underage boys!!!
SM: But....
Dr. Frederic Delavier: Enough questions for today!!! Flex has to prepare for his special television appearence this week on "Inside The Wrestlers Studio with James Lipton." You watch, OK? Oui.
Both men walk out as Mooney is left with a confused look on his face
SM: Back to you guys.
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Millie D
El Dandy
Something VERY special.
I Love Glee!
Posts: 8,923
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Post by Millie D on Aug 3, 2005 0:06:28 GMT -5
it dark and cold in Mistress Mia's hospital room and we see she is sleeping..but what is this.. a dark shadow has appeared..its moving closer and closer to Mia...it grabs her I.V bag and injects it with something....Mia wakes up and sees the shadow and goes to scream but no one can hear her..she grabs for her call button and drops it..this person goes and puts their hands around her throat to choke her..Mia struggles and just as she is about to pass out................................
MIA-*out of breath* OMG! *looks around* It was all a dream.....
the nurse runs in and asks her if she is ok and she says it was all a bad dream.......
Mia-"what time is it?"
Nurse-"it's just about 9 :30....why?"
Mia- " I need to make a phone call....."
Mia picks up the phone and dials the phone...
"HELLO?"
Mia-" its me..."
"YOU OK?"
Mia-" had a horrible dream.. needed to talk to someone to get my mind straight....."
"WELL YOU KNOW I AM HERE FOR YOU"
Mia- " and I thank you for that...but more importantly, how are you..you doing ok ?"
"AS GOOD AS I CAN BE....DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME...THINK ABOUT YOURSELF..."
Mia-" I am trying but I can't get it out of my mind!"
" NEITHER CAN I BUT YOU NEED TO PUSH IT ASIDE SO YOU CAN GET BETTER AND GET BACK TO WHAT YOU DO BEST"
Mia-" Thanks..and your right...time will tell.....( YAWN)"
"GO GET BACK TO SLEEP..YOU ARE SAFE.. I WILL COME SEE YA AS SOON AS I CAN..."
Mia-"Ok...until then..YOU sleep well.."
"I MAKE NO PROMISES MIA-GOODNIGHT"
Mia-" Night"
Mia hangs up the phone and goes back to sleep feeling better and relaxed
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General Zod
Samurai Cop
KNEEL!
KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!
Posts: 2,163
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Post by General Zod on Aug 3, 2005 0:27:18 GMT -5
Pink Floyd's 'Money' hits the PA and Les E.BiAsie is seen coming down the aisle with Jarrod AND his legal team of *Dewey, Screwum and Howe* in tow. He is wearing one of the finest custom made designer suits in his collection, and Jarrod looks to be in a pristine tuxedo. Jarrod holds the ropes for the entourage as he enters the ring. Les grabs the house mic.
Les: "I gotta tell you people something... there's not a thing on this planet that could upset me tonight.
And the stark reality of it is...I have you to thank for it all, Toomi Bischoff.
You see...at the Saved By The Bell PPV, I watched as EWT Superstar after EWT superstar got screwed. And I've been watching as you play God with the careers of your deep talent pool and make a mockery of the legitimate business world. And to coin a phrase from former President Bill Clinton - to those of you who have ever been screwed, I felt your pain!
But the thing that got me the most? I watched the main event that night at SBTB where YOU, Toomi Bischoff, screwed one of the greatest in ring preformers this company has *ever* seen. You STOLE his opportunity like a common thief in the night.
Right out from underneath his feet. He trusted you to be fair, and impartial, and not get involved, but the whole world saw what happened.
You took a cheap shot.
And as everyone knows, it's bad business practice to screw those who can build your company to unprecedented heights. If the company grows, everybody wins. I guess they never taught basic economics at Metro Community College, huh?
Back to the original point - after that happened, it was only natural that my master plan would ultimately unfold. But little did I ever know just how well it would.
After that event, even MORE superstars came to me with their own tale of woe, telling me how you toyed with their careers left and right. And it made me sick!
So, with the help of my lawyers, Dewey, Screwum and Howe, we've managed to ascertain some of your top talent.
Talent that is sick and tired of your facist, backstabbing, and ethically illegal ways. It became clear to me that night as I watched the PPV, that you have no clue how to run a business.
And you know something Toomi? I'm not one of the richest men in the world for nothing! I didn't earn my money by accident. Everything I touch turns to gold.
Which is the promise I've given these EWT superstars, and the promise that I still make today, should they approach me, and want in on this once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's the difference between doing what's marginal, and doing what's best every single day of your life.
I am the one man who will make you shake in your boots! I am the one man who will make you quiver with fear as you enter the arena! Because you see...I don't *need* your money to wrestle. In fact, truth be told, I could buy this entire organization and just be done with it! And I'd still have enough money leftover to buy South America!
But no...that would be too easy. And not nearly humiliating enough.
By the time I'm done here, you will rue the day you screwed your talent pool. I'll secure their contracts and make sure these talented athletes get exactly what they deserve!!!
Which brings me to my next point of order...Starting right now, here in the EWT, I am forming the most elite group of EWT superstars that have EVER graced this planet. Starting with my newest business partner, and the man who has promised to make your life a living hell...
...The former...and soon to be again...EWT World Heavyweight Champion....Ladies and Gentlemen...it is my honor to introduce to you a man who's talent I respect deeply...
The one.
The only.
A-BOMB!!!!!"
'You Got the Look' hits the PA and A-Bomb and Stevie come down the ramp and join Les and Jarrod in the ring. Les and A-Bomb shake hands, culminating with Les raising A-Bombs arm in victorious fashion while holding the mic and making the annoucnement...
Les: "For the year 2005, and into the future, the first named wrestler in the Billion Dollar Coorporation - A-Bomb!!!
cheers
Soon, others will be revealed, Toomi. Like sands sliping through your feeble fingers, you never know which one will defect next...
...so if I were you...I'd watch my back!
Pink Floyd's 'Money' hits again, and Les and A-Bomb shake hands again. Les goes over to shake Stevie's hand in a congratulatory manner as he instructs Jarrod to hold the ropes for all three of them as they exit the ring and walk backstage.
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Post by Oceanic on Aug 3, 2005 0:28:19 GMT -5
Fifteen feet above the ring a scaffold has been constructed and several tables have been set up all around the ring. The ring announcer takes the microphone and explains the rules.
1. The match will take place on the scaffold only. 2. There will be a 2 on 1 handicap. 3. The only way to win is to send your opponent, or both opponents, off the scaffold and through one of the many tables below.
Oceanic is announced and she comes out to the ring, looking oddly peaceful considering she's about to compete in a very dangerous match. She takes her sarong off and climbs up the latter onto the scaffold unintentionally giving all the men in the crowd a good look at her caboose. A few cat calls are heard but she doesn't pay any mind. The Jumping Bomb Angels, Noriyo Tateno and Itsuki Yamazaki, come out next. Some applause is heard from those who were around when they won the Women's Tag Titles back in the day. They stop at the foot of the ramp and start conversing with one another. Then Itsuki begins to climb up one side of the scaffold while Noriyo climbs up the other side. Oceanic is trapped between the two and the bell rings.
Itsuki charges but Oceanic sees her and Itsuki puts on the brakes. Noriyo waits until Oceanic's back is turned the gets her with a forearm smash to the back of the head. Itsuki now joins in and both women begin punching to beat down Oceanic. Oceanic is down on one knee and begins to fight back, first punching Noriyo in the stomach then elbowing Itsuki in the chest. Both Angels are still fighting but Oceanic is now fighting back by elbowing both simultaneously. Itsuki throws a big double forearm smash but Oceanic ducks it and it lands on Noriyo instead sending her crashing on the scaffold. Oceanic hops back up and hits Isuki with a moonsault/enziguri move that knocks her down to her knees. Noriyo gets back up and charges but is met by three quick Thai Elbows to the face by Oceanic. Suki gets back up and charges at Oceanic but she hears her coming and drops down and monkey flips Isuki right into Noriyo. Both Angels are scrambling to get up but when they do they get dropkicked, a foot each, in the chest sending both back down on the scaffold. Oceanic gets up and looks for a table to throw an Angel into. She picks up Noriyo in a bodyslam position and looks like she's about to throw her off but Isuki gets up and axe handles Oceanic causing her fall to her knees and drop Noriyo.
Isuki holds Oceanic's arms back as Noriyo lays into her with a series of punches. Isuki then picks up Oceanic and gives her a back breaker across Noriyo's knee. Oceanic tries to get up but both Angels are stomping at her. She finally stands up but the Angels were setting her up for a double dropkick which they hit almost sending Oceanic over the scaffold but she manages to stay on. The Angels see Oceanic laying on her stomach on the scaffold holding to the side and they try to shover her off. They throw in an odd punch here and there but are having no success trying to shove her off the scaffold. Oceanic creeps up to one knee and elbows Noriyo right in the nose sending her backwards. She grabs her nose and checks to see if it's broken but her eyes are watering so hard she can't see so she has to back off a bit. Isuki knee lifts Oceanic in the stomach and positions her to the side of the scaffold. Isuki gets a bit of a start and charges. Oceanic then jumps off the scaffold, grabs the side, and swings like a gymnast around to the other side and is now directly behind Isuki, who doesn't know what happened. Oceanic gives her a rounding kick to the back of the head that sends her flying and crashing through one of the tables. Isuki has been eliminated.
Noriyo has cleared the cobwebs and clotheslines Oceanic down. Noriyo sees what happened to her partner and goes to work on Oceanic wearing her down with a surfboard. After about 45 seconds in this Oceanic gets up and manages to break the hold to Noriyo's astonishment. Noriyo charges but gets armdragged and Oceanic immediately locks in These Arms Are Snakes. Noriyo is kicking and writhing but can't break the hold. Oceanic keeps the hold on as Noriyo thrashes. Finally she breaks the hold and gets up, signaling the end. Noriyo staggers up clutching her arm that is dangling lifelessly by her side. Oceanic scoops up Noriyo and tosses her off the scaffold onto a table with a meaty thud but to everyone's surprise the table doesn't break! Oceanic puts both hands on her head in disbelief as the entire crowd is shocked at this. Noriyo is just laying on the table with the wind knocked out of her. Oceanic turns and walks towards one end of the scaffold, turns around, takes a deep breath and gets a running start. She jumps off with a Superfly Splash and crashes onto Noriyo sending both women through the table in a heap. The bell rings and Oceanic is declared the winner.
It takes a few moments for Oceanic to get up. She finally rises holding her ribs and begins to make her way back up the ramp slowly as her music plays. The crowd starts cheering like crazy which Oceanic acknowledgers with a wave and a smile. Before she goes backstage the camera picks up her parting words...
"That's how you fight like a girl."
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Post by Banned Member on Aug 3, 2005 1:07:31 GMT -5
*The graduation theme blairs over the PA and Macho Man walks out, and as he reaches the halfway point of the ramp when Merc runs out with a steel chair,and bashes Macho Man in the back of the head.Merc drags macho Man over to the anounce table,but bodyslams him on the floor,and goes and grabs the stairs,and lays them on the table. Merc picks up macho man,and drags him up on the stairs,and hits the PayOff on to the stairs,and breakin the table. Merc than rips off Macho Mans shirt,and tight revaling macho man wearing a purple bra and pink panties. Merc looks at Macho man,and laughs a little than grabs the mic as EMTS have to once again come out after a Merc Match.*
Merc: Jz....you gettin scared....In your dreams do you see the dirt falling on you?.....Im coming JZ.....You wont be able to hide
*MErc throws down the mic,and runs to the back,and hops on his motorcycle,and takes off.*
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Post by DSR on Aug 3, 2005 1:31:47 GMT -5
*Lenny Lane comes out, accompanied by Lodi, to a mild face pop. LL gets in the mud pit and flexes and poses for the crowd.
DSR's music hits, and DSR and Sexy Translator come out to the usual boos and profanities. DSR takes the mic.
DSR: Before I beat the S*** out of Chris Jericho's little brother over here, I would just like to say a few words. First, to Spaz: congratulations on cheering up that "fan" of yours. Now he's got something to tell all his "buddies" on the internet, amidst all the verbal ****jobs they type up for you. But then again, why wouldn't they? You're just the kind of vanilla midget they've been creaming their jeans for for years.
*Since the EWT crowd is mostly smarks, they boo the hell out of DSR.
DSR: Yeah, whatever. And as far as the boys in the back are concerned, of COURSE they want you to win at the ppv. Those a**holes have never ONCE recognized my contributions to this promotion, and they certainly never paid me the respect I deserve. Every last one of those kids should finally admit that I've been BETTER than them all along.
*LL and Lodi have decided to just play around in the mud.
DSR: Now, as for Ace and Gary over here: I would first like to say that this is a complete disgrace. I've been disgusted with the fetish for gimmick matches that this company has had for the better part of a year. But for right now, I'm willing to go with the flow, because I'll prove soon enough, to Spaz and to everyone else, that I'm the best PURE wrestler in the business today.
*DSR drops the mic and steps into the mud. LL turns around just in time for a kick in the stomach. DSR then hits an Emoflow DDT. With LL laid out, DSR looks around the kiddie pool full of mud.
DSR: G***amnit, how am I supposed to get aerial without anything to jump off of?!
*Before DSR can come up with anything, LL is back up. He dropkicks DSR in the back, causing DSR to fall face first into the mud. DSR gets up and wipes the mud from his face. When he turns around, LL attempts another dropkick. DSR slaps LL's feet away. When LL gets up, DSR hits a Clothesline from TRL before falling into the mud. DSR gets up to see LL on his back in the mud. DSR gets an idea. He steps out of the mud and kicks Lodi in the nuts. Lodi falls to his knees. DSR stiffkicks Lodi in the stomach, causing him to double over, while still on his knees. DSR then gets a running start, before springboarding off of Lodi's back, hitting the DSR ESCAPE PLAN on Lane!
DSR: Man, it feels good to pull that one off again!
*DSR picks up Lane and delivers the TURBONEGRO DESTROYER! DSR then covers, and gets the 1-2-3!
Finkel: The winner of the match, and STILL EWT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, D! S! R!
*The crowd boos loudly as DSR swipes the World Title belt from the referee. DSR proudly holds up his championship, but still looks disgusted at the crowd and his lousy opposition. DSR spits in the mud before raising his arms in victory again. End Scene.
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Aug 3, 2005 11:18:24 GMT -5
*High Voltage plays as Mike Ragnal walksdown to the ring.As he gets in the ring,he fixes a wedgie he's getting from the panties.*
LILLIAN:The following contest is the first ever Mal Bra & Panties match.The first contestant,from Scranton,PA...Mike RAGNAL!
*Mike takes the mic from Lillian.*
MIKE:God,this doesn't feel right.First of all,Oceanic,I hope you're happy,because I'M NOT!I honestly don'tknow WHAT your problem is.SO maybe women weren't meant to be in mud matches or the like.BIG DEAL!It's business!And just be glad Toomi did this for the matchcard this week,because I'm sure he woulda-
*Mike stops for a second,and then laughs.*
MIKE:No,no...my beef ain't with you.That's Linda's business.My business is with an Ape named Psycho.And he just stuffed his opponent into a body bag.Well,just so you know,Ape,I ain't scared of you,and Shane Helms will be the LAST person you put inside a body bag,because Ican assure you,that once the next PPVcomes around,it will be ME putting YOU in that bag!And when I do....
It WILL be the Shocking Truth!
*Mike hands the mic back to Lillian as Lanny Poffo enters the anrea and heads to the ring.*
LILLIAN:And his opponent...Lanny Poffo!
*The bell rings.Mike clotheslines Lanny and put him into a leglock.Lanny struggles and grabs onto the ropes.The ref counts and Mike lets go on four.Lanny gets out of the ring,grabs a notepad and pen,and writes something down.Mike then grabs Lanny by the cllar of the shirt and drags him back in,ripping the shirt off his back while doing so.Mike then grabs Lanny by the legs and catapult him into the cornerpost.Mike then goes up to the top and lands the High Voltage on Lanny.Mike then grabs Lanny's legs and takes off his pants.The ref rings the bell.*
MIKE:See that?A waste f time!But Ape,here's a little message for you!
*As Lanny crawls towards the ropes to get out,Mike grabs him,puts him over his shoulders,and hits Lanny with the Ragnalrok.High Voltage then plays as Mike raises a fist into the air,and the screen fades to black.*
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Post by Teddy Awesome- Back in Style on Aug 3, 2005 12:31:06 GMT -5
*A commercial for EWT ONLINE ends as we see Theo Rumm gingerly getting in the ring. He is in street clothes, but has a new piece of clothing on him, a neck brace. Theo gets a mic...*
Theo: I'm not here for my match, in fact, the hospital suggested against me being here altogether. But you see... that's not going to stop me from what I came here to do... and WDD? You aren't going to stop me either. Thing is, I should have wasted you yesterday. You got lucky that Funk was there or you would've had to worry about more bleeding the just from your nose.
*Theo starts pacing around*
Theo: Now, Funk, I know you're a legend and that was probably instincts, so I'll let it slide this time.
*Theo's pace becomes faster*
Theo: But listen, WDD, you we're talking to Toomi, and I felt that there was a bit of... something... that you and Toomi were sharing. What was it? It could be something I should worry about, like maybe agreement between you two that I shouldn't be here anymore.
*Theo moves to a corner and sits on the top rope*
But, it could also be nothing important. But I learned two things on my journey to EWT... NEVER take an unnecessary risk... and NEVER be alone.
*Theo moves off the turnbuckle and leans against the ropes*
Theo: I'm not afraid of you, WDD. You say that I'm like a little, unwanted brother... always wanting to follow along with the big kids... and should be put in his place so he'll leave them alone?
*Theo looks square into a camera*
Theo: Well this little brother just... wont... QUIT!
*Theo rips off his neck brace as Fight For Your Right plays over the PA system. Theo walks up the ramp high fifing people on the way up.*
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Post by viscera on Aug 3, 2005 14:07:36 GMT -5
A Horrifying redition of the Graduation Theme hits the Toomitron as Pain comes down to the ring with the Canceler. Saucy is nowhere to be seen tonight. They get booed immensely as they make their way down to the ring. Pain is wearing his traditional suit as he rolls inside, then grabs a mike.
Pain: Paul... paul paul. I've been watching you all week and I'm starting to wonder about something. Why exactly do you continue to hold a grudge against me? All I did was HUMILIATE you in front of dozens and dozens of sheep. I SMASHED you in the back of the ehad... with an old-fashioned spanking paddle. And now you challenge me at this upcoming PPV. What... might I ask, make you BELIEVE that you deserve to be on the Pay Per View card? I've seen your matches... and I didn't even detect a single HINT of talent in your flabby out of shape body.
The crowd boos again... they really seem to hate this guy.
Pain: Oh look... the flock is baaaahing at me? TRHey don't like when their... " heroes " lose. Shut up or I'll have the Canceler hear shave you all till nothings left but your BONES!!
The crowd keeps booing, now even louder. The Canceler grunts and glares at them.
Pain: Now then... what else, what else. Oh yes... now, after we dispose of this... sad excuse for a Superstar of the EWT, our next target, will be the EWT Stable Titles! Now lets take a look at our so called " opposition " First we have the Ragnals. What a horrid name for a stable? What exactly IS a Ragnal? Some kind of insect? It's appropriate because we will SQUASH them like bugs!
The crowd keeps on booing again and start chanting U.S.A. being the marks they are...
Pain: Next we have... some mysterious stable that just formed. I don't know anything about them... and really I could care less. You nobodies will just be another road block that will have to be... removed. So i suggest you don't try to come between us!
The crowd continues booing even louder.
Pain: We are the P.T.A. and we will not be stopped by...
Suddenly, Paul's theme hit's and he runs out, wielding a pool cue. He quickly slides intot he ring and smashes Pain in the back of the ehad, knocking him down ahrd. The Canceler grabs him from behind, but he simply swings the stick backwards, knocking the hgue man straight between the eyes. He falls to his knees as Paul grabs the stick and aims for his privates, then SMASHES the stick into his goody bag, causing the man to fall over in pain, slowly rolling out of the ring. Paul then lifts up Pain in powerbomb position, spinning round and round, then slamming him down noto the mat with The Paulerbomb. Pain groans and rolls out of the ring, retreating for now as Paul climbs atop the turnbuckle playign to the crowd who cheers him immensely. He quickly pulls out a pair of beer bottles and chugs them down, eying Pain and Canceler, then puking inside the ring.... all over the mat.
Cut to commercial.
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Aug 3, 2005 14:35:31 GMT -5
*backstage,the Ragnals are looking on at the PTA's promo.*
LINDA:BugS?!They think we're bugs?!
MIKE:Take it easy,sis.Right now the Stable titles aren't important.What IS important is taking down Ape and stuffing him inside a body bag!
LINDA:Well,for you.For me,it's helping Oceanic and myself show that the women have what it takes to take on the GND champion!
*Mike and Linda look on at Joe,who's been quiet this whole time.*
MIKE:Hey,bro,you feeling alright?
JOE:Huh?Oh,yeah,fine.
LINDA:You look distracted by something.
JOE:No,no,just fine,just...waiting to see your matches get set for the next PPV is all.
*Mike and Linda look at Joe,exchange glances withone another,and just shrug it off.*
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Post by curtrok on Aug 3, 2005 14:36:15 GMT -5
JR: We are back from break and Dean Douglas is in the ring he has something to say.
DD: Ric Flair, I hate you. I hate your family, I hate your pets! I hate Arn Anderson because he likes you. Why don't you bring your old, tired, stale ass out here right now so I can kick your ass!
*Live and Let Die starts to blasts through the arena Curtrok comes out to the ring wearing his Icon T-shirt and black tights. Curtrok slides under the bottom rope and snatches the mic from douglas.*
CR: Listen, Dean-o Ric Flair doesn't work for EWT. So let's just walk up the ramp, to the chocolate pit and get this over with. If we don't wrestle these matches, we get fired.
*Douglas grabs the mic back.*
DD: You aren't curtrok, You're ric flair in disguise! You can't fool me I'm going to kick your ass.
*Douglas spears Curtrok and a confused ref calls for the bell. Douglas starts to kick Curtrok in the face with all of his might. Curtrok manages to scream "I'm no flair you crazy bastard."
This only makes Douglas more irrate causing him to scream back "You can't fool me! You're Flair all of these people are Flair," before dropping an elbow to Curtrok's face.
Curtrok manages to roll out of the ring and runs toward the Chocolate pit. The first person to score a pinfall inside the kiddie pool full of hersey's chcolate is the winner. Curtrok stands in the pit and starts to whoo like Ric Flair. This causes Douglas to charge at him like a locomotive only to eat a vertical drop kick.
Curtrok grabs the stunned Douglas and holds his face under pool of chocolate. The referee counts to five but Curtrok continues to suffocate Douglas.
The ref calls for the bell! Dean Douglas is declared the winner but is now out cold due to lack of oxygen. Curtrok finally stops holding Douglas under the chocolate and puts him in the Texas Clover Leaf. Douglas wakes up screaming from the pain. SNAP, is the sound that Douglas' knee makes.
The ref demands that the hold be broken so Curtrok head butts him in the face causing him to bleed. Three more EWT officals try to pull Curtrok off of Douglas who has passed out again but to no avail.
Just then Barbed Wire Harry runs out of the stands and tackles Curtrok and starts to land some heavy duty fists.
Curtrok gets back to his feet and the two brawl into the back.*
BREAK.
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Post by curtrok on Aug 3, 2005 14:48:51 GMT -5
A chocolate covered Curtrok storms into Toomi's office.
CR: That's it I'm not going to work for this promotion under these conditions.
TB: Hold on there Willy Wonka what's the problem.
CR: The problem is Harry!
TB: Well you already have a match with him at the PPV so deal with him then.
CR: No I don't I will not wrestle in that match.
TB: You can't do that you have a contract.
CR: You know me, I've walked for less.
TB: This is true, okay let's compromise.
CR: I'm listening.
TB: You pick the stipulation for the match. You can pick whatever you want.
CR: Okay I'll tell you what I want right now. I want a singles match with a special guest Referee.
TB: Fine, done. Who did you have in mind.
*Curtrok whispers something into Toomi's ear. *
TB: Do you think you can get that man to be the ref?
CR: Yup he owes me one and at the next ppv he will deliver.
TB: Fine, now get the hell out of my office you're ruining the carpet.
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Post by Teddy Awesome- Back in Style on Aug 3, 2005 14:50:40 GMT -5
*Theo is seen backstage walking to his locker room. Before opening the door, he notices a note jammed between the door and the frame. He takes it out and thinks*
Theo (To Self): I swear if this is from WDD, I'm going to kick the crap out of the next person I see...
*He opens the letter and starts reading...*
Theo: Wow, guess I'm not going to be beating up anyone then...
*Just then, Todd Grisham walks by.*
Todd: Hey, Theo.
Theo (To self): DAMMIT!
*COMMERCAIL*
Random Wrestler: Wow, I jobbed again...
*A-Bomb jumps into camera view*
A-Bomb: Why are you jobbin' out, meng?
RW: Because I'm a jobber... it's my job...
A-Bomb: Well it doesn't have to be with NEW EWT Anti-Job energy drink!
Announcer: New! Anti-Job energy drink allows the drinker to never job out. How? It's made from the essence of actual jobbers past winning ways!
*Random Wrestler takes a swig*
RW: WOW!
*Mark Jindrak appears and the Random Wrestler goes apes*** on him*
RW: Preapre to meet my finisher. The sign of a true mid carder and main eventer!
*RW hits a Fisherman's DDT*
RW: That's my finisher?
*Announcer: How do we do it? Magic! If the WWE writers can take it away, why can't we sell it?
RW: Thanks, Anti-Job Drink!
Announcer: Now comes in 5 flavours! Scotty 2 Hotty, William Regal, Val Venis, Lance Storm, and new Mystery Jobber! You'll never know who jobbed out to give you the win!
BUY IT TODAY!
*Cut Commercail*
*We seen Theo leaving his locker room in a full three piece suit. Oddly enough, this one seems brand new, andnever been worn. Somthing you'd rarly see him in.*
Theo: Well, I hope this turns out good.
*Todd Grisham appears*
Todd: Theo! Theo! Do you have time for an interview
Theo: No, I needed elsewhere.
Todd: (Ignoring what Theo said) Those were strong words in the ring that you had for WDD. Want to followup?
Theo: No. Go away.
Todd: C'mon!
Theo: Fine, here's my follow up... OMGTODDLOCKBEHINDYOUIT'SAGIANTSQUIDCOMINGTOKILLEVERYONE!
Todd: (Looks behind) Huh? I don't see anything. (Looks back at Theo's direction to see nothing) Huh, Theo? Where'd you go?
*End Scene*
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General Zod
Samurai Cop
KNEEL!
KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!
Posts: 2,163
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Post by General Zod on Aug 3, 2005 16:43:27 GMT -5
Announcer: This next match is a Mud Pit match and it is scheduled for one fall with a 10 minute time limit.
Ted DiBiasie's version of "Money" hits the PA system, and the man himself, Ted DiBiasie makes his way out to the mud pit where he is soon to wrestle.
Announcer: In the pit first, making his summer residence in the Swiss Alps...the Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase!
Virgil is with him, and Ted comes out with a microphone in hand.
Ted: "I've watched this guy steal my gimmick for far too long. So I've decided to do something about it!
Les E. BiAsie, get your butt out here now!"
Pink Floyd's 'Money' hits the PA, and we soon see Les E. BiAsie stroll out with Jarrod, who has a towel around his arm, presumably for later to wipe Les's face with. Les carries his cane with him as well.
Les confronts Ted.
Les: "Ted, so good to see you again! How are those investment tips I gave you going?...
...I kid, I kid. So, Teddy boy, what's on your mind?"
Ted: "First of all, you...
Les interrupts Ted
Les: "Whoa whoa whoa!!! We only have a ten minute segment here, Ted. I don't need you to get all wordy on me. I get the jist of where you're going. You're jealous.
Jealous that MY stable is obscenely better than anything you ever put together!! By the way...
...where IS Irwin these days?"
That's all Ted can take, as he attacks Les right there in the mudpit, ring gear and all. Neither man is dressed for the match, and already a mele has broken out! The ref calls for the bell, and we're underway!
Fists fly to start. Ted gets the advantage early, grabs Les by the ponytail and shoves his face into the mud! He slams Les's head into the mud time and time again! Ted stands up and laughs his evil laugh!! Les is absolutely covered in thick, nasty mud!!
Ted begins the ritual of striping Les down! Ted rips off Les's expensive custom made jacket, and ruins his silk shirt and tie!! Les is flailing about, trying to get away as Jarrod and Virgil look on...
Finally, in a move of desperation, Les kicks Ted off while Ted tries to remove Les's pants!!!!
Three words describe this sight best. Oh. My. God.
Joey Styles, your check is IN the mail, brother!
Back to the action, Les jumps on top of Ted and starts to choke him down, and now rams HIS head into the mud! Both men are covered now and Les is half naked!!
Les covers Ted, and lands some punches to the head. The two men roll over on top of each other laying in punches to the other one. We finally see Ted come out on top, and Ted finishes the job of removing Les's pants! Les is now clad in only his boxers and socks, and is dripping mud from head to toe!!
Ted stands over Les and taunts for just a little too long becuase the crowd starts to stir....
Suddenly, the masked man appears again!! Once again, jumping the railing from the crowd and making his way to the mudpit, as he grabs the cane from Jarrod. In one, swift, solid motion, WHAM!!!! The masked man delivers a crushing blow to the back of the head, and Ted falls to the mud.
The masked man picks Ted up, and delivers an inverted piledriver RIGHT ON THE MUDPIT!!! The masked man picks up the cane again, and sees that Virgil is now trying to come to the aid of Ted. Virgil gets blasted with the cane for his trouble!! WHAM!!!
The masked man pulls Les on top of Ted, as the ref counts...
1.
2.
3!!!
The bell sounds and the announcement is made.
Announcer: Here is your winner...Les E. BiAsie!!!
Pink Floyd's 'Money' plays over the intercom, and Les is helped to his feet by both the masked man and Jarrod, who is using the towel to wipe off the face of Les. Les celebrates like he has won the Olympics! The camera can hear the audible shouts of Les as he celebrates over Ted DiBiasie. "Sometimes to get ahead in life...you have to get a little dirty! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!"
The masked man takes off through the crowd again, as Les and Jarrod walk to the back to shower. Virgil is still seen helping Ted up as we go to the break...
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General Zod
Samurai Cop
KNEEL!
KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!
Posts: 2,163
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Post by General Zod on Aug 3, 2005 16:49:48 GMT -5
After the break, we see a muddy Ted DiBiasie and virgil combing the backstage area. Ted is holding his neck, and with good reason - he was just piledrove into mud, with very little give. He is LIVID! And he is screaming for Les, tossing things, shoving people out of his way, and generally being a pest!!
Ted: LES!!! Where are you, you worhtless bum!! Get out here RIGHT NOW!!!
Ted spots a camera, and stares into it to deliver the following message:
Ted: I don't care what I have to do, Les - if I have to comb the ends of the earth, or set this building on fire - NOBODY does that to the Million Dollar Man and gets away with it!! NOBODY!!
Toomi Bischoff - I want a match with Les at the next PPV!! I'll even put my Million Dollar Belt on the line against him! I'm so confident I'll score a victory, I'm even willing to put VIRGIL on the line! Just give me one GOOD shot at him, and I'll help end this fraud's time here in the EWT real quick!"
Fade out
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Post by garyhartsgoatee on Aug 3, 2005 17:07:16 GMT -5
*Pza is backstage with destroyer getting "suited up" for his match with gangrel*
Pza: Ya see d. this is what im talking about... im not allowed to use my TALENT in the EWT... Im stuck in an evening gown match... with a f****** vampire! this promotion is starting to look more and more like WCW every day!
d: Well Pza, you might as well make the best out of this bad situation and go out there and show gangrel... but more importantly Toomi that you mean business...
Pza: you're right... lets go...
*Pza and Destroyer set out to the ring*
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Aug 3, 2005 17:35:33 GMT -5
*We are at Ringside with Lillian Garcia*
Lillian: The following match is a Bikini Match . . . the winner is the person who gets the most cheers for there attire . . . and now making there way to the ring your hosts and judges . . . . Rico!!, Goldust!! and . . .er . .
*Lillian talks to the timekeeper at ringside . . . but he just nods his head*
Lillian: . . and . . . Tazz!!
*Rico's music hits, he's wearing a fabulous outfit and his sideburns are still out of control but fashionable, he enters the ring and head to the judges table . . a short pause and then Goldusts entrance plays . . .he is in his marvelous Gold attire that he is known for . . . Finally a disgruntled Tazz makes his way to the ring . . .clearly not looking forward to this match*
Lillian: and our first contestant . . he is the Beast from the East . . he is Bam Bam Bigelow!!!
*Bigelows music hits and he wanders down to the ring in his regular wrestling gear . . . but he is also carrying what looks like a beach cabin and a gym bag . . he gets in the ring and sets up the cabin*
Lillian: . . and his opponent . . . form the Aquarium . . . the Virtuoso of the Vortex . . .. Maelstrom!!!
*Maelstroms music hits . . . and he walks out to his pyro in a well manufactured blue robe . . . much like Ric Flair used to wear . . . it has a rather large bulge under it though . . . he heads to the ring with a slightly irate look on his face, he takes the mike off of Lillian*
Maelstrom: This is a disgrace . . . A woman with a beautiful and serene name like Oceanic caused this . . . listen missy . . . cause this much trouble again and I'll show you what happens when the Ocean gets rough!! . . . now lets get this disgrace of a match started. . .
*Maelstrom and Bigelow wait as the mike is passed to Rico*
Rico: wow . . . you fans look fabulous . . especially you Maelstrom . . that robe is divine . . don't you fans agree . . I could almost kiss you . .
*Maelstrom threatens Rico, who backs away*
Rico: maybe afterwards . . . . now lets talk about the enemy . . lets talk about Bigelow . . .your wearing wrestling gear . . . you may be able to fight in it but where is your style?
*Bigelow walks up to Rico and whispers in his ear*
Rico: . . . ok . . well fans he may be one of the most marvelous hardcore wrestlers in the world . . but he's a little uncomfortable about this so will use the cabin to change . . . you best get changed then . . . I'll . .
*Tazz has had enough of this farce and locks on the Tazmission on Rico . . . Rico is soon out for the count . . . Tazz walks off backstage . . .Goldust picks up the mike*
Goldust: No one forgets the name . . .Goldust . . *bites his teeth together as only Goldust can* . . . now Bigelow are you ready as your going first! . . . take it away . .or is it off . . .
*Some pop music plays as Bigelow walks out of his cabin . . he is wearing a fairly robust one-piece swimsuit . . . clearly designed for swimming . . the fans cheer his bravery . . . he walks from one end of the ring and back again before returning to his cabin . . . the fans cheer even more when they realize how quickly it took*
Goldust: . . . Ok Maelstrom its your turn . . . what has your tide brought to the surface today . . . .
*Another cheesy pop song begins to play as Maelstrom moves to the centre of the ring . . . . the crowd begins to boo . . . . Maelstrom slowly takes off the robe to start but the removes it completely . . . the crowd is shocked . . . . and then begins to cheer what they see!*
Goldust: WOW . . . thats amazing
*Maelstrom is standing in the ring with his wrestling gear on . . . but tied around his waist is Maria in a tiny bikini . . . she waves at the people as Maelstrom walks around the ring*
Goldust: . . well we have a clear winner Maelstrom!!
*Goldust walks off backstage, Maelstrom takes up the mike*
Maelstrom: What you fans thought I was going to appear in a bikini . . . well technically I am wearing one . . . *Maria giggles* . . . now who wants a real wrestling match??
*the crowd roars with approval . . . Maelstrom unties Maria . . . and tells her to go backstage . . . he then opens the cabin door . . .and Bigelow who is smiling . . greets him with a series of punches . . sending Maelstrom to the corner . . Bigelow picks up the mike*
Bigelow: Maelstrom, great plan . . . . we both saved ourselves from utter humiliation . . . now lets give these fans what they want!! . .
*A ref runs into the squared circle and the bell rings!*
Maelstrom and Bigelow trade blows int he centre of the ring, Maelstrom gets the advantage and throws Bigelow into the ropes, Bigelow ducks the clothesline attempt and hits a shoulder block sending Maelstrom down, Bigelow follows with another shoulderblock and a elbow drop . . . Bigelow thinking the match could be over quickly goes to the top rope . . . but Maelstrom is up and catches Bigelow with a thrust to the throat, Maelstrom climbs the turnbuckle and superplexes Bigelow off the top rope . . .Maelstrom signals for a high flying move of his own . . but Bigelow rolls to the outside to take a breather . . Maelstrom follows and they trade punches on the outside, Maelstrom eventually rams Bigelows head into the steel steps, Maelstrom then grabs a chair and cracks it over Bigelows back. Maelstrom throws Bigelow in to the ring and goes for the cover.
1,2 . .
Kick out by Bigelow . . . . Maelstrom stomps on Bigelow and then attempts a bodyslam . . . but Bigelow is just too heavy and he falls on top of Maelstrom.
1,2 . .
Kickout, Bigelow bounces of the ropes for a vertical splash but Maelstrom rolls out of the way, Bigelow catches Maelstrom with a kick to the gut and sets him up for a suplex! . . .wait reversal by Maelstrom into the Water-on-the Brain . . . . . Bigelow taps!!
Lillian: your winner, Maelstrom.
*Maelstrom heads to the back, pleased with his match, he sees a sign saying ' Billy 'the Virgin Ubermark Forever!' . . he grabs it and rips it in two . . . the crowd cheers as he walks backstage*
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