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Post by hollyvaughn on Jun 9, 2006 7:44:37 GMT -5
*A generic Rock piece hits, and Nicole Bass comes out. She is met with total silence as the crowd are simply mesmerised by her mannishness.*
Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for ONE-FALL! Introducing first from Middle Village, New York, weighing in at 230 pounds...she is "The World's Largest Female Bodybuilder"...NICOLE BASS!!!!
*Nicole makes her way to the ring, and enters, trying to look imposing. "Fueur Frei" then hits, and Holly Vaughn, wearing her trademark shredded trenchcoat and dragging Mortimer along by a leash, makes her way out.*
Chimel: Her opponent, to be accompanied to the ring by Mortimer...from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, HOLLY VAUGHN!!!!
*Holly takes Mortimer to ringside, and takes off his leash before turning to the ring...Nicole Bass grabs Holly by the hair, lifting her to the apron!! Nicole then tries to pull off a hair toss to Holly to bring her into the ring...Holly lands on her feet, and hits an elbow to the gut of Nicole Bass! Nicole loses her grip as Holly once again runs the ropes to rush Nicole...Nicole picks Holly up into a Gorilla Press! Nicole lifts Holly high...and Mortimer trips Nicole from the outside! Nicole falls to the mat, with Holly landing on top of her!*
1, 2..
*Nicole powers her way out of the pin, pushing Holly off with authority! Nicole rises...and Holly rushes her with a running Rave kick to the chest! Nicole is stunned as Holly grabs Nicole by the hair, and throws her, One Man Gang style, into the turnbuckle post! Nicole falls to the mat outside as Holly backs away, the referee giving her a verbal warning...as this happens, Mortimer approaches Nicole Bass...Nicole suddenly glances at Mortimer, making him fall back, pleading for mercy! Nicole looks perplexed by this, sneering at Mortimer. She then approaches Mortimer as the fans actually start cheering...Mortimer suddenly chucks some snuff powder into the eyes of Nicole Bass! Nicole is blinded as she stumbles to the ring...Holly Vaughn then jumps the turnbuckle, and comes off with a STYXX DIVE TO THE OUTSIDE!!!*
*The crowd don't know what to make of this as both Holly and Nicole are down on the outside. Holly snaps her fingers from the floor, and Mortimer hesitantly approaches her. Holly then rises, and grabs Mortimer by the throat! Holly pushes Mortimer to the guardrail by the throat as the camera follows them.*
Holly: Don't you EVER allow me to suffer another indignity! That miserable brute pulled me by my hair...allow this again, and you SHALL be punished!! Do I make myself clear??
*Mortimer splutters as Holly pushes him away, focusing her attention on Nicole Bass. Holly grabs Nicole Bass by the hair, and throws her into the ring, before climbing to the apron. Holly comes in over the ropes with a stile jump to a stomp to the chest of Nicole Bass, stepping off nonchalantly as Nicole tries to rise up. Holly turns slowly to Nicole Bass, who tries a choke...Holly pulls off an armdrag to Nicole Bass, and then stands on her hand. Holly silently observes Nicole's suffering before she releases the hold. Nicole gets to her feet...and Holly runs in to lift Nicole up onto her shoulders, coming down with the FINAL REQUIEM!!! Holly then hooks the leg!*
1, 2, 3.
*Winner: Holly Vaughn.
*Holly kicks Nicole out of the ring, calling for Mortimer. Mortimer comes into the ring, and meekly hands her the microphone, kneeling as he does so. Holly takes the mic, and then stands on Mortimer's kneeling body, speaking as she does so.*
Holly: I must first say...that I have little contempt for my latest victim, Miss Bass. You were unwise to underestimate me. I must also...express my disappointment that a new champion of EWT has been crowned...and with the help of a cheerful, prancing fool at that. What the GND Division needs...is brutality. I will say no more. Mortimer...we must leave this place...its filth is irritating my nostrils...
*Holly steps off Mortimer, and takes out another leash from her coat pocket, tying him to it. Holly then drags Mortimer out of the ring and head to the back with Mortimer in tow as the crowd boo her loudly.*
*Fade out to highlights from the PTA breakup.*
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Post by teamireland on Jun 9, 2006 11:38:22 GMT -5
Tony “The Garc” Garcya: The following contest is a six-man tag match & is scheduled for one fall. *A Rocked-up version of Amhrán na bhFiann plays over the EWT sound system as Team Ireland make their way to the ring. All the members of the team are wearing Gaelic shirts with numbers printed on the back. Coach O’Hare is waving a Hurley with an Irish Tricolour attached to it. The team stop about halfway down the ramp and raise their arms in the air as green, white & gold pyro goes off behind them. Sean McCann is using crutches & has to be helped to the ring by his team-mates.*
Tony “The Garc” Garcya: Introducing first, at a combined weight of 679lbs, being accompanied by Coach O’Hare & Sean McCann, proudly representing their home country of Ireland, Aidan Donnelly, Shane Malone & Liam O’Neill. TEAM IRELAND!
“The Intellect” Nick Russ: This should be interesting, Jerome. Our first look at what Team Ireland can actually do in the ring.
Jerome “The Lord” East: Yeah, we’ve heard these guys talk a good fight, but lets see how well they can back it up.
*Once in the ring, Coack O’Hare takes the mic from “The Garc”*
Coach O’Hare: And, now folks, you get to see what all the hype was about. We’re not just all talk like some of the teams around here & certainly not like our opponents tonight. You see our opponents this evening are so lame they couldn’t even get booked to put in an appearance at this crappy ECW reunion show that’s being promoted up north. I speak, of course, of the blue World order. *Cheers from the audience* Coach O’Hare: Oh, that’s right. I forgot about the legions of previously invisible ECW fans out there. The ones who loved the organisation so much they never watched their TV shows or bought their PPVs. Well ECW is the past! The only thing that matters today is EWT. Not WWE, not TNA, not ROH & certainly not the bW…
*O’Hare is cut off as the familiar music of the bWo fills the arena. The crowd cheers wildly as Big Stevie Cool, Da Blue Guy & Hollywood Nova stand at the entranceway Nova is holding a mic in his hand.*
Hollywood Nova: Y’know somethin’ dude? The bWo is sick of hearing you run us down, daddy. And we’re here, brother, to shut you stupid micks up, brother!
Big Stevie Cool: We just got three simple words for ya: “WE’RE TAKIN’ OVER!”
*The bWo rush to the ring as Coach O’Hare & Sean McCann try to escape as fast as they can. McCann stands outside the ring to cheer on his team-mates while O’Hare makes his way towards the announce table.*
Jerome “The Lord” East: Coach O’Hare, it’s nice to finally meet you. Coach O’Hare: Thank you, I wish I could share your sentiment. “The Intellect” Nick Russ: Coach O’Hare, how is Sean McCann faring with that injury? Coach O’Hare: Well, he’ll have to stay out of action for a while, but it should still be safe enough for him to come to ringside with the rest of the lads. Now will you call the friggin’ match? What the hell is Toomi paying you two for?
*In the ring the action is flying thick & fast. Da Blue Guy just tagged in Hollywood Nova who’s going to work on Liam O’Neill with some hard punches.*
Coach O’Hare: Closed fist? The referees here are as incompetent as the announcers!
*O’Neill fights back with some swift kicks to Nova’s legs & while Nova is favouring his legs O’Neill levels him with an Enzuguiri before quickly tagging in the largest member of Team Ireland, Shane Malone. Malone picks up Nova & powerfully slams him down to the mat before following up with a couple of elbow drops & a few stomps. Malone poses cockily much to the annoyance of the fans. While doing so he fails to see Nova crawling towards his corner & making a tag to Big Stevie Cool. Stevie attacks Malone fiercely clubbing him from behind. Stevie then turns Malone around & holds him in a front facelock. Stevie throws his right arm into the air & lets out a yell, signalling that he’s going for a Stevie-Plex, but Malone blocks it & counters into a suplex of his own, holding Stevie in the air for 10 seconds before twisting him around and slamming him on the mat.*
“The Intellect” Nick Russ: Egads! That was brutal!
*Malone saunters over to his own corner & makes a tag to Team Ireland captain Aidan Donnelly. Donelly picks Stevie up by the hair, but Stevie surprises him with an elbow to the gut. Stevie begins to fight back before Donnelly has an opportunity to recover & attempts to get behind Donnelly for a back suplex. Donelly counters Stevie’s back suplex attempt, landing on his feet. While Donelly poses a little he doesn’t notice that Stevie is poised behind him, Stevie rears back & goes for a STEVIE KICK! Donnelly catches Stevie’s foot before it makes contact with his face, then starts waving one of his fingers at Stevie in a “No, no, no!” motion. As Donnelly revels in his own intelligence Da Blue Guy attacks from behind, thus prompting the rest of Team Ireland to run in. Hollywood Nova also enters the ring to back up the bWo. However, Shane Malone grabs Nova from behind & locks him up in a Full Nelson. Malone then arches backwards & appears to be hitting Nova with a Dragon Suplex, but he holds on to Nova’s arms & drives the Hulkster impersonator’s face into the mat.*
“The Intellect” Nick Russ: WOW! Have you ever seen a move like that? Like a Dragon Suplex into an Unprettier! What do you call that move Coach?
Coach O’Hare: I call it astonishing, but Shane has named it “The Dragon Slayer”.
*Da Blue Guy charges Malone & forces him out of the ring over the top rope. Meanwhile, Liam O’Neill clutches Meanie’s arms from behind while the referee is busy watching Stevie & Donnelly go at it. O’Neill nods towards Sean McCann who struggles onto the apron. He takes a swing at Meanie’s head with a crutch, but Meanie ducks & O’Neill takes a shot to the head. McCann’s momentum carries him on & he falls off the apron, reinjuring himself. He clutches his leg in pain. Donnelly has got Stevie set up in a piledriver position & makes a circular motion over his head with both hands.*
Jerome “The Lord” East: What’s he going for here? A Canadian Destroyer? Coach O’Hare: That’s no Canadian Destroyer, son! That’s an Irish Destroyer! Excuse me, I have to check on Sean.
*O’Hare removes his headset & makes his way over to Sean McCann, taking his Tricolour wrapped Hurley with him. Donnelly nails “The *ach-em* Irish Destroyer” on Stevie & moves to make a cover. Coach O’Hare climbs into the ring smashes Meanie over the head with his Hurley while the referee is down making the count on Stevie. Meanie is out cold & the ref reaches 3!*
Tony “The Garc” Garcya: Here are your winners… TEAM IRELAND!
*Amhrán na bhFiann plays once again as Coach O’Hare & Aidan Donnelly celebrate in the ring. They cheer & laugh wildly, jumping up & down in ecstasy! Shane Malone joins them in the ring carrying Sean McCann on his shoulders & leaning over to revive Liam O’Neill. When all five members of team Ireland stand in the ring Aidan Donnelly picks up Coach O’Hare’s Hurley, climbs a turnbuckle & begins to wave the flag before the Team make their way to the back, laughing all the way.*
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Post by respectmeordye3 on Jun 9, 2006 12:31:46 GMT -5
Lars angrily storms down the hall and runs into one of the lowly interveiwers standing nearby. He lets loose with a couple of swear words and then yanks the guy’s mic away, glares into the camera and begins to rant and rave.
“Wilson Webb” he snarls “That little so called “victory” you got over me earlier tonight was nothing but a fluke—that’s it,nothing more nothing less, and I dare you to prove me wrong you little S.O.B.!”
The crowd erupts.
“So if you got the balls, short-stuff then meet me out in the ring in five minutes for a clean one on one rematch-and to make it more intresting, howabout if I win that I get the money I owe you back?” he spits furiously. “If you win however I’ll not only give you the two thousand I owe you but add another six thousand on top of that—so howabout it-are you man or leprechan?”
and with that he tosses the mic to the pavement and storms away as the crowd boos him.
Five minutes later….
Generic rock music plays through the speakers as Wilson Webb makes his way to the ring where Lars and his slimy manager allready await.
The bell rings starting the match.
The two men circle each other, and then Lars suddenly pulls a pair of brass knuckles from his tights—but the referee sees them,takes them away and turns to go toss them outta the ring.
Bad move.
He’s so intent on getting rid of the brass knuckles he doesn’t see as Mitchell Brell sneaks into the ring with steel chair in hand and comes up behind the unsuspecting Wilson Webb.
Mitchell raises the chair over his head…
KA-RAHCK!
Wilson goes down like a sack of potatoes as Mitchell beats it to the outside and gets rid of the evidence of foul play and Lars picks him up and waits for the ref to turn around before giving him a piledriver!
Lars goes for the pin.
1….
2….
3!
The bell rings as Lars is declared the winner and he and his manager walk backstage celebrating the sullied win and laughing at having gotten one over yet another superstar……
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Post by Poker Joker on Jun 9, 2006 12:35:48 GMT -5
(We come back from commercial to see John Cena vs Scotty 2 Hotty already in progress. Meaning? Two guys gyrating around for minutes on end just for a lousy fist drop. Screw this noise.......
The screen cuts to the theater with our heroes sitting comfortably in their recliners as we begin another episode of The Hacksaw Buoy Mochachino Skunk Whatsis.)
Billy: "Hello there all you couch potatos at home! It is we mighty two once again to bring in a brief ray of light into your otherwise drab, uneventful lives. As always I am Billy Ubermark. With me is cohost and my tag team partner, Ultimo Chocula. Ultimo, what's the word of the day?"
UC: "Stegasaurus."
Billy: "Hear that? Write that down! It's all the rage with us upscale types! It's gonna sweep the nation! Now then, we've been ruling the airwaves for quite some time now and we've generated quite the buzz. Kind of like Scott Hall! Ha!"
UC: "Snap! In your face, Razor! But the question remains, just how huge has our show become? Well it seems that we were mentioned on a certain radio show on a certain website ran by a certain mark in Indiana and his buddy in Michigan. Give up? Of course you do! Quitters!"
Billy: "That's right! On the latest episode of Wrestlecrap Radio, the Scouting Report was reviewed by none other than RD Reynolds and Blade Braxton! Needless to say the internet was all a twitter! So let's take you now to the broadcast of the single greatest moment in radio history as RD and Blade talk about how cool we are! Roll it!"
(Billy & UC sit back and give each other the nod like they're too cool for school. The broadcast plays as the HBoys listen smugly.)
RD: "So....uh...............I was at Wal Mart this week."
Blade: "Uh oh. Not again."
RD: "Yep! Time for another........RD's trip to the grocery! Anyway.......so I was at Wal Mart........and............"
Blade: "Did you happen to pick up a box of King Vitamin?"
RD: "No! I did not get any King Vitamin.......or as I call it...........King Pedophile! But I was there............and you'll never believe what I saw there."
Blade: "Was it the new Freebirds DVD?"
RD: "The Freebirds have a DVD? No way!"
Blade: "I belive they do! I heard it somewhere. Wait, was it the Freebirds? I think it was the Freebirds. I'm not sure on that but......."
RD: "Are you sure it's not the Midnight Express DVD you're thinking of? Because I think that's coming out soon."
Blade: "I think it was the Freebird................wait! No! It was the Midnight Express! You're right! I got my heel tag teams confused for a second."
RD: "You see? What would you do without me?"
Blade: "I'd be lost, apparantly."
RD: "You'd be wandering up and down the aisles of Wal Mart looking for the Freebirds DVD that doesn't exist! It's a good thing you talked to me before you went down there looking for it."
Blade: "I'd be feeling mighty foolish."
RD: "Yeah! So......um................anyway..........I was at Wal Mart and I found this.......................you know, I completly lost track of what I was talking about! Thanks a lot Blade!"
(Billy and UC have visably slumped in their chairs. Billy looks at his watch then makes the universal "Let's get on with it" motion.)
RD: "Well..........let's forget about RD's trip to the grocery....."
Blade: "Thank gawd!"
RD: "Come on! People like that segment! A lot of people really look forward to that segment!"
Blade: "Oh really?"
RD: "Yes really!"
Blade: "Name three!"
RD: "Well................Mrs. Reynolds..............myself.........that's two."
Blade: "You can't count yourself!"
RD: "Why not? I'm a person!"
Blade: "But you don't count as a portion of our listening audience. You have to name people who listen to the show."
RD: "I listen to the show! I listen to your blatherings every week!"
(Billy and UC are now totally bored. Billy leans his head back and makes a long, drawn out, aggravated groan. UC twirls a ball point pen in his hand, then takes it and pretends it's a rocket ship flying through space to amuse himself, complete with sound effects. Meanwhile, the broadcast plays on.)
Blade: "Speaking of the blatherings!"
RD: "Oh no!"
Blade: "Oh yes! It's time once again for the highlight of the show."
RD: "Kids, I'm sorry, but it's time for Blade's Wrestling Haiku. I must inform you that the haiku does not come with crown as illustrated......"
Blade: "No it does not, sir."
RD: "You see, you COULD go to all the wrestling websites. You COULD read up on all the latest news. You COULD listen to all the other wrestling radio shows. But all you really need to know is in the following seventeen syllables."
Blade: "Condensed goodness!"
RD: "Condensed! All the news you can hope to recieve, smashed down, squished, compacted, squeezed into a tight little ball of information. We did all the work for you! It's all right here for your listening pleasure! You don't need all the other stuff! We took it all right out! You don't need to know that stuff! It's not important! You don't need to know that! It's not relevant! The reunion of DX? Who cares? It doesn't matter! We have the news that matters! We sifted through all that nonsense for you so you don't have to! We saved you the trouble! That's what we do! We care about you, the listener! We have all the information that you need and we present it to you in a traditional Japanese form of poetry! Nobody else does that! Does Meltzer do that? No! Because he doesn't have your best interests in mind! We do! We think about these things for you! We're your friends! We're your buddies! We....."
(Suddenly UC springs up and cuts off the broadcast.)
UC: "Ok! *BEEP!* this! This isn't going anywhere! Trust us! At some point in this rambling mess they do talk about us but I'll be damned if I'm going to sit through the entire thing for the six seconds he spends on us!"
Billy: "For a wrestling show they do spend a lot of time NOT TALKING ABOUT WRESTLING! Jeez, if I wanted to listen to two guys blab about nothing for hours on end I'd get in on the whole wire tapping gig! Sheesh! Let's move this thing along already! The subject for this week's crucifixion is the Prophecy Reborn, a couple of clowns who've been calling us out the last few weeks. Ultimo, do your thing!"
(UC spins around in his chair and faces the screen behind him. He clicks on the slide projector remote and the first picture is a suburban community)
UC: "Remember this? I used this slide on our first show about the Soup or Salad Eyeballs. Lucky for me, it applies here. Welcome to Everytown USA! Mayberry! The Burbs! The Heartland! The same exact thing no matter what state you're in! The thing that The Chumscrubber so accuratley lampooned. Yes, suburbia is the breeding ground for sterility and lameness the world over. So it's no wonder that whenever something that only hints of danger comes wafting in that direction the whole place goes bonkers. And what could cause a stir in this family friendly utopia?"
(*click* the next slide shows Marilyn Manson in his asexual "Dope Show" body suit.)
UC: "Ta da! Paul from the Wonder Years all grown up! Nothing like a calculated publicity stunt specifically designed to piss off parents to get a reaction, eh? As parents got their knickers in a twist, the kids all ate it up like pornographic pancakes. Eyeliner, painted nails, and pants with unnessary zippers and straps was the look of choice among the youth, and more specifically, the subjects of this week's show, the Probably Really Bored."
(*click* the next slide shows a group of high school kids playing live action vampire.)
UC: "Like the rest of their peer group, Stretchmark and Monkey went cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs over their new hero and completely immersed themselves in all things considered scary. Or, at least, whatever scary stuff they could find at Hot Topic. Stuff like the expanded version of "Nightmare Before Christmas". Or candles that look like blood when they melt. Or a Misfits lunchbox. A black and red striped sweater with safety pins already in, saving you the trouble. You know, "edgy". Of course since they looked the part, they had to act the part. Scowling was a major part of the plan. So was writing really awful poetry and posting it online. Sometimes they would sneak up on people and yell "Boo!", because that's what scary people do. Stretchmark and Monkey were Knights In Satan's Service to the highest order, and they have kept the look going to this very day although their hero has long since gone the way of Rockwell and Wang Chung."
(*click* the next slide shows The Prophecy Reborn as they are today.)
UC: "That's right! Keep that flame alive, young heathens! With the spooky industrial goth movement in the "has been" file with nu metal, crotch rock, disco, and ravers, Monkey and Stretchmark keep on keepin' on for that cyclical movement when they'll be back in fashion again. I'm guessing around the same time the sun explodes and kills all life on earth. With that hopeless story out of the way, Billy will do us all the honor and discuss the merits of their ring work as I eat this Charleston Chew. Billy! Take it away!"
Billy: "With pleasure! OK. I spent the past couple days looking over Prophecy Abortion's matches to try and determine what kind of style best applies to them."
UC: "You spent DAYS doing that? Wasn't it painful?"
Billy: "Are you kidding? There were moments I wanted to take a power drill to my eyeballs, they were hurting so bad! I just wanted the agony to end! But, like the trooper that I am, I stuck it out for our loyal fans so I could give you the most accurate scouting report on these two goons that I could."
UC: "So did you come up with a style of wrestling that suits them."
Billy: "I did!"
UC: "And what style would that be?"
Billy: "That would be NO STYLE whatsoever. I've seen better stuff in AND out of the ring from a pair of retarded chimps than I did from Moxie and Hitman Mark. These guys have no style, no class, no talent, and consequently, this is why they have no title belts…. And they never will have any either. Especially not ours. Want me to prove my point?”
UC: “Absolutely!”
Billy: “Then roll that beautiful bean footage, will ya, Chocula?!”
(We get a shot of Chocula fumbling with a remote control. He finally find the right button, and hits it. We go to a still shot from a generic horror movie. In the shot, we see a man hanging from a rope as though he’s committed suicide.)
Billy: “Well, here’s our first little clip. This is of a fan who found out that he had ringside seats to an EWT card that featured The Prophecy Aborted in the main event. Apparently he knew what he was in for and decided to take the easy way out instead of having to endure that torture. For the rest of us…. Well, this is what was in store.
(We go to the next piece of footage. On the screen is a pair of marionet puppets that are being controled by someone off –screen. One of the puppets is carrying a miniature hammer, while the other has a silly clown face)
Billy: “What we’re seeing here is Hitman Mark in a recent hardcore match. Now, we’ll notice how even though this is a hardcore match, Hitman Mark hasn’t bothered to bring any weapons down to the ring. His opponent, however, DOES have a hammer. Not very bright if you ask me, but then again, Hitman Mark isn’t very bright to begin with. Let’s see how this turns out for him.
(As the footage continues, the puppet with the hammer hits the other puppet in the head several times. Suddenly, the head of the second puppet falls off of its shoulders with the final blow from the hammer.)
Billy (shaking his head): "Ooo! That’s gotta hurt! Let this be a lesson for you, kids. Either use the right tools for the right job, or don’t bother doing the job in the first place. And for Hitman Mark, that latter piece of advice might be the best. Let’s see what we’ve got next."
(We get another shot on the screen of a dead body. This one is an old black-and-white newspaper photo of a mobster who apparently got gunned down.)
Billy: “Well, this isn't either of the Prophecy Aborted in the ring, but its worth talking about. This guy here was a radio disc jockey who was giving away tickets on his show to an EWT show. Everything was going pretty good for him, until lucky Caller #9 showed up and learned that Prophecy Aborted was going to be in the main event. The contest winner got pissed and tried to give the tickets back, but the radio station understandably didn’t want anything to do with them. A fight ensued, and when the deejay tried to force the winner to claim his prize…. Well, this is what happened. The deejay ended up gunned down in a hail of bullets, and the contest winner went to jail.”
UC: “Wow! That’s terrible! How much time did he get in prison?”
Billy: “Only 30 days.”
UC (sounding shocked): “That’s IT?!”
Billy: “Yeah. The police considered it a justifiable homicide. Turns out, none of them would’ve wanted to be forced to sit through a Prophecy Aborted match, either!”
UC: “Ah! Now it all makes sense! Whacha have next, Billy?”
(The footage changes a scene from the movie “Pulp Fiction.” In this scene, Bruce Willis is tied up in someone's basement while Macellas Wallace is being gang raped in another room. Watching Willis is none other than the Gimp.)
Billy: “Now pay close attention to this one, folks! This is one ENTIRE match between Hitman Mark and Barry Horowitz’s little brother. You’ll notice Moxie there in the fashionly leather suit with studds and matching mask. He looks like a couple of Luchadores I used to beat up regularly when I was living down in Mexico. Anyways, just watch this great wrestling action by Moxie!”
(The scene progresses, and Bruce Willis breaks free from his bonds. He walks up to the Gimp, who is making all kinds of weird squeeling noises, and knocks him out with one good punch.)
Billy: “BAM! Down goes Hitman Mark, and with only ONE PUNCH! Damn, talk about your glass jaws. That’s just plain weak.”
(The film clips abruptly end, and we go back to a shot of Billy and Ultimo. Ultimo gets a confused look on his face, and turns to Billy.)
UC: “Is that it?”
Billy: “Huh?”
UC: “Is that it? I mean, is that all the footage you have?”
Billy: “Yeah. I told you everything I saw of their’s was bad, so there wasn’t that much to review.”
UC: “Yeah, but… aren’t you forgetting something?”
(Billy roosters his head and thinks for a couple seconds.)
Billy: “Uhhh…. No, I don’t think so.”
UC: “All of the wrestling clips you showed only featured Hitman Mark.”
Billy: “Yeah. So?”
UC: “So…. What about Moxie? Where’s the footage of him?”
(Billy looks seriously at Ultimo)
Billy: “You REALLY wanna see footage of Moxie in the ring?”
UC: “Yeah, I do!”
(Billy gets an evil grin across his face, suddenly, as he pulls a second remote control out of his leather jacket’s pocket.)
Billy: “OK. Lets take a look at some footage of Moxie in the ring. Here’s Moxie…. In the ring…. At his very best.”
(Ultimo’s face changes to an equally mischevious grin as Billy pushes a button on the remote. The footage starts rolling, and the first clip we’re treated to is of Moxie from back when he was the Tri-State Champion. Moxie is walking out of the building with his belt.)
Billy: “OK! Here’s a classic moment. This is just after a pay-per-view here in the E.W.T. arena. Moxie had just gotten done with a defense of his Tri-State Championship. And if I remember correctly, I’d just gotten back from a trip. Where was I again?
(The footage keeps rolling. Suddenly Billy Ubermark comes up behind Moxie and smashes a bottle of Tequela over the back of the Tri-State Champion’s head.)
Billy: “OH! That’s right! I’d been in MEXICO! And I’d brought Moxie back a bottle of tequela as a present for sending me on that little adventure. NEXT CLIP!”
(The footage continues on, and we’re treated to footage from the Scramble Cage match between Billy Ubermark and Moxie at “Saved By The Bell: The College Years.”)
Billy: “Here’s a great example of Moxie’s offensive abilities. Take a look at this!
(In the first bit of footage, Moxie goes for a back body drop, but Billy catches him, and slams his face into the mat. Moxie rolls onto his back, and Billy seizes the opportunity. Billy runs the reverse ropes, and lands a beautiful standing shooting star press!)
Billy: “Well, so much for Moxie’s offense. How about a look at his DEFENSIVE abilities! Watch as Moxie tries to block this series of moves that I’m going to try and lay on him.
(In the next clip, Billy Pulls Moxie up from the mat. Moxie stops and kicks Billy in the gut. He throws Billy into the ropes, but instead of Billy bouncing back, Billy hops to the top rope (using the cage for balance), and hits Moxie with a springboard Whisper in the Wind kick!)
Billy: “OK! He didn’t stop me there. Um… let’s watch him defend against my next offensive move.
(The clip continues as Billy pulls Moxie up and throws him into the ropes. Billy ducks a clothesline attempt, and hooks Moxie’s arms. He pulls him back, and lifts him up, hitting a Vertabreaker!)
Billy: “OOOO! Strike two! OK! He didn’t stop me there! Let’s see what happens next! We’ve gotta see Moxie defend against SOMETHING!
(The clip from the same match continues to roll. On it, the crowd cheers and watches as Billy masquerades up to the top of the platform and stands 15 feet in the air over the battered body of Moxie.)
Billy: OK! Right here! Watch this! This is Moxie mounting one hell of a defense against one of my top aerial moves! Check it out! Right…. NOW!
(Billy spins his fingers, and jumps off the top of the platform, hitting a huge “Spiral Tap” Corkscrew 450! He lands on the near-beaten Moxie and goes for another pin, and the clip ends. We cut back to Billy Ubermark and Ultimo Chocula in their respected chairs. Billy has a mock-serious look on his face, and Ultimo Chocula is laughing hystarically in his seat.)
Billy: OH MY GOSH! DID YOU SEE THAT! HE COULDN’T DO IT! HE COULDN’T MOUNT UP ANY OFFENSE OF HIS OWN AGAINST ME! AND HE COULDN’T DEFEND AGAINST ANY OF MY BEST MOVES!
UC (fighting back the laughter): What…. What does this mean, Billy?
Billy: Simple! It means Moxie has absolutely NO offensive or defensive skills, whatsoever! He’s completely worthless in the ring! And that’s saying something, considering the other second-rate shmucks we’ve reviewed over the past couple weeks.
UC (recovering from his laughter): “Absolutely incredible! Is that all you have for footage on Moxie?”
Billy (smiling): “Well, actually, I DO have one more brief clip to show you.”
UC: “I trust that you saved the best for last.”
Billy: “Oh, yeah. Here it is.”
(Billy clicks a button on his remote control one more time. The footage starts to roll. It is of the end of the Scramble Cage match as Billy nails Moxie with the “Virgin Sacrafice!” In the background, Mike Tennay can be heard calling the action)
Mike Tennay (on tape): “Billy Ubermark hits Moxie with the “Virgin Sacrifice”!”
(The footage suddenly stops and goes back to the beginning of the scene. Again, we see Billy hit the “Virgin Sacrafice” on Moxie, and again we hear Mike Tennay calling the action.)
Mike Tennay (on tape): “Billy Ubermark hits Moxie with the “Virgin Sacrifice”!”
(The footage suddenly stops and goes back to the beginning for a second time. Once more, we see Billy hitting the “Virgin Sacrafice” on Moxie, while Mike Tennay calls the match.)
Mike Tennay (on tape): “Billy Ubermark hits Moxie with the “Virgin Sacrifice”!”
(The footage stops and goes back to the beginning for the third straight time. The scene is played back, yet again, but this time in slow motion. Mike Tennay’s voice is heard in a warped tone as the tape slowly plays back Billy hitting the “Virgin Sacrafice” on Moxie.)
Mike Tennay (on tape): “Biiiiiilllllllllyyyyyyy….Uuuuuubbbbeeeerrrrrmmmmmaaaaaarrrrrrkkkk… ..hhhhhiiiiiitttttsssss….. Mmmmmooooooxxxxxxiiiiiieeeeee…. Wwwwwiiiiittttthhhhh…. Tttthhhheeeee “Vvvviiiirrrrrgggggggiiiiiiinnnnn Sssssaaaaaaccccccrrrrriiiiiiiifffffffiiiiiiiiiicccccceeeee”!”
(The footage freezes on Billy finishing hitting the move. It stays on screen for a couple of seconds before fading away. Billy and Chocula appear on the screen, again, in their respected chairs. Both have huge smiles on their faces. Billy holds out one hand in a non-chalont fashion, and Chocula gives him five.)
UC: “Priceless!”
Billy (with a satisfied smile on his face): “I can watch that over-and-over, again.”
UC: “And that’s Moxie at his best us, huh.”
Billy: “Yep. I can’t really think of any words to describe just how terrible he is.”
UC: “Well, I can. (Ultimo sticks his finger down his throat and makes a gagging sound) *GULAAAAACH!*”
Billy (laughing): “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”
UC: “Of course! That’s why I said it! So, after watching all that footage, is it safe to say that these guys are perfect examples of wrestling at in its lowest form?
Billy: “For as abysmal as these two guys are in the ring, that might be giving them too much credit. I’d sooner have hot needles shoved in eyes than have to watch footage of their matches, again.”
UC: “So does that mean that there are no redeeming qualities to watching Prophecy Reborn’s matches?
Billy: “Only if you plan on slowly torturing someone over a long period of time. The United Nations actually has a special chapter dedicated to Moxie and Hitman Mark matches in its book of rules regarding the treatment of prisoners of war.”
UC: “YEESH! OK! Time for our ratings of Prophecy Reborn! Billy, how many stars did you give them!”
Billy: “Me? I gave them NO STARS! Zero! Zip! Nada! None! But I will give them TWO COMETS!
(Billy holds up both of his fists and flips off the camera. He holds the pose for a couple of seconds.)
Billy: “Pay special attention to the tails, punks!”
UC: “I think they get the message.”
(Billy puts his hands down.)
Billy: So, what did you give these two half-wits for a grade?
UC: "This week, I give the Probably Really Bored a grade of..........an avalanche of unsold Marvel Legends Deathlock figures!"
(Suddenly a series of action figures falls from the ceiling and knocks over the screen showing the picture of Moxie and Hitmanmark into a jangled heap.)
Billy: “Fitting! Well, that’s our show for this week! Join us next time when we evaluate another tag-team from the E.W.T.’s talent pool.
UC: “Or as I like to say, rip a couple more losers another *BLEEP*hole!”
Billy: “Untl then, for Ultimo Chocula, this is Billy “The Virgin” Ubermark saying remember to help control the moron population. Have YOURSELVES spayed or neutered. Good-night!
(The lights in the studio dim down until you can only see Chocula and Billy’s shadows. As this happens the credits start to roll.)
[/center] ***CREDITS***
HOSTS: Ultimo Chocula & Billy “The Virgin” Ubermark
PRODUCERS: Ultimo Chocula & Billy “The Virgin” Ubermark
HOTTEST DAMN TAG-TEAM IN THE EWT: Ultimo Chocula & Billy “The Virgin” Ubermark
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: Moniqua Morricone
GUEST FOR THE PROGRAM STAYED AT: The alley between “Johnson’s Drug Store” and the “Pole-to-Pole Strip Club” on Denton Street.
ADDITIONAL PROMOTIONAL CONSIDERATION PAID FOR BY THE FOLLOWING: [/center]
*COMMERCIAL*
(A young woman walks into her house with her boyfriend. She stops and looks around, looking scared.)
Girl: "Did you hear that?"
Voice over: "This summer.............coming to a theater near you.............."
(A couple teenagers are making out in a car when a shadow appears blacking out the screen.)
Voice over: “The people who brought you “Jellystone Chainsaw Massacre”…...”
(A guy and a woman in the woods appear on the screen. The guy grabs the woman’s hand and pulls her towards him in a panic.)
Guy: “We’ve gotta leave… NOW!”
Voice over: “And “Huckleberry Hell-Hound……..”
(A teenage girl appears on screen. She’s running through the woods with a terrified look on her face. She stumbles, turns around, and gives a terrified screem at whatever is following her.)
Girl: “SOMEBODY GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!”
Voice over: “Comes a tale of horror so unbelievable……”
(An old man appears on the screen, his face twisted in pain. He opens his eyes and screams in anguish as blood pours from his mouth.)
Old man: “AAAAAAAUGH!!”
Voice over: “That we’re hoping you’ll pay damn near $10 a person just to see it.”
(Two mountain rangers appear on the screen. They look in awe at a bloody body lying before them.)
Ranger #1: “What could do something like that?!”
Ranger #2: “Only on thing….”
Voice over: "This summer, terror has a new face................."
(A girl wearing nothing but a towel turns around in terror)
Girl: "AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!)
Voice over: "And it's bright pink!"
(Suddenly a giant pink mountain lion wearing a bow tie leaps out and mauls the girl.)
Voice over: "Snagglepuss's Revenge! Exit stage left..................TO YOUR DEATH!"
(The commercial ends and we go back to the studio. The lights are dimmed, and Billy and Chocula are gone. The scene fades to black.)
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Post by thesunshinesquad on Jun 9, 2006 13:29:03 GMT -5
As we return from commercial, the lights light up as Sunshine and Lollipops starts up, the crowd giving a rather confused look, until a familiar woman skips out, in wrestling attire, with a big excited look on her face. The crowd boos, noticing who it is as she skips down the rampway. Sal and Hal are nowhere to be found.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, making her EWT Wrestling Debut, From the Land of Imagination, weighing in at 159 pounds... Dr. Vivian Anemone!!!
Vivian grins, hopping onto the ring apron and leap frogging over the ropes, bouncing happily up and down, skipping over and snatching the announcer's microphone.
Vivian: Hee hee... I'll take it from here little boy... now go take your seat.
The announcer looks wide eyed.
Announcer: But... I'm not a boy. I'm at least forty years old or so...
Vivian looks a bit mad, yet still ridiculously happy.
Vivian: I SAID GET OUT BOY!
She makes a loud whistling sound into the microphone, as Sal and Hal emerge from the crowd, grabbing the announcer and chucking him out of the ring with, well no effort at all. The crowd boos as Vivian smiles.
Vivian: Thanks boys... now why don't you two just watch. I don't need any help today.
Sal and Hal nod in obedience and head over to the Commentator's table, where R.J. and Micheal Hole are sitting.
R.J.: By gawd... what are they coming over here for?!
Micheal Hole: This random approaching has turned into a two on one affair!
Sal and Hal take the Commentator's swirly chairs, then gliding their way down the ramp in them, wheeling themselves to Vivian's corner as she bounces up and down, getting ready for her opponent.
Vivian: Ok then... I'm issuing an open challenge to anybody back there! So c'mon... who's it gonna be?
The Toomitron lights up as suddenly, the Old ECW theme starts up and... out heads Kimona Wanalaya!!! The crowd gives a massive pop as she heads down to the ring, looking pumped and ready for combat. She slides into the ring, as you can hear loud visible boos from the Sunshine Squad on the outside, who have brought megaphones.
The Bell rings and Vivian charges forward, knocking Kimona down with a forearm shot. She follows up with a high leg drop across the throat, rolling back up to her feet afterwards and nailing a second one, this times splits style. Kimona yelps, rolling off to the side as Vivian closes up her legs again, getting back to her feet. She grabs Kimona from behind, hitting a jumping neckbreaker, and going for a quick cover. 1...2...
Kimona kicks out. Sal and Hal let out a visible Awwwww. Vivian shrugs, lifting Kimona back up, hitting a quick snap suplex, then positioning for a second one, once again slamming Kimona to the mat hard. The crowd boos as Vivian smiles, leaping up high and hitting an equally high elbow to the heart of Kimona, who acks... rolling around on the mat in pain, clutching the chest area. Vivian nips up... forcibly hoisting Wanalaya back to her feet, whipping her into the nearby turnbuckle hard, back first. She groans, trapped there as Vivian sets her up ontop, then backs up, does a handstand, then hitting Trish's old move, the Stratusphere. Kimona goes flying, slamming hard into the mat as Vivian hoists herself up top of the turnbuckle, leaping off with a high leg drop, only for Kimona to roll out of the way! The crowd pops as she gets back to her feet slowly, grabbing Vivian and lifting her up to her feet, now hitting some forearm shots of her own, backing her into the turnbuckle corner. She then charges forward for a clothesline, but Vivian quickly takes back control, catching her by the arm, then leaping up, onto the turnbuckle, then the ropes, then off again for a springboard lucha style arm drag! Kimona goes flying, clutching her arm in pain as Vivian grabs the same arm, stomping at it rather viciously, then lifting it up, only to bring it back down with a jumping armbreaker! Kimona cringes in pain. Vivian's not done yet though. She grabs the same arm and instantly locks in a Fujiwara Armbar, trying to yank the arm right out of it's socket!!! Kimona yelps out in pain, desperately trying to roll out and escape, but Vivian has the move clinched on. She then traps the leg's of her opponent with a body scissors. She lifts her up again... breaking the hold, only to hit an arm wrench! Still gripping the same arm, she nails a series of quick kicks to Kimona's face, two to the chest, then one particularly nasty shot to the face, letting go after this one. Kimona goes down immediately, clutching her almost certainly broken arm in pain.
Vivian isn't done yet as she drags Kimona over to the nearby turnbuckle, springing up top, quickly waving over to the Squad, who eagerly waves back, then leaps up and connects with a 630 Splash AKA The Smile High!!! Kimona groans in pain as Vivian hooks the leg. 1.....2.....3!!!
Sunshine and Lollipops starts up again as Vivian springs to her feet, clapping excitedly! The announcer meanwhile has found another microphone.
Announcer: Here is your winner... Dr. Vivian Anemone!
Vivian smiles, hopping out of the ring as Kimona lays nearly motionless in the ring, clutching her arm... only for Vivian to walk over to her boys... who nod, walking over and grabbing two Steel Chairs and entering the ring. Both men then sit atop of Wanalaya, keeping her trapped as Vivian rolls inside, placing a chair under her hurting arm... then taking the other and VICIOUSLY SLAMMING IT RIGHT ACROSS THE DAMN ARM!!! Kimona's eyes go wide as she seems ready to tear up from the intense pain. Vivian however isn't done... as she lets forth another powerful WHACK with the steel chair. Kimona's arm now definitely looks broken... but she goes ahead and gives one more nasty whack with the steel chair... then tossing it out of the ring, as she and the Sunshine Squad exit the ring, The Squad carrying her atop their massive shoulders back to the backstage area as we fade to commercial.
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Jun 9, 2006 14:46:44 GMT -5
*We cut backstage to Toom E.'s office as he looks through paperwork, when suddenly...*
KNOCK, KNOCK!
TOOM: Come in.
*...And in walks the last person he'd expect to see for a while.*
TOOM: You!
JOE: Heya, Tooms, how you doing?
TOOM: Joe Ragnal. What on earth are you doing here?!
JOE: What else? I heard you guys were in need of a new Toolshed champion, and since I was one of the last to challenge FOR the belt...I figured that man should be me.
TOOM: Joe, right now I'm in the middle of situating this whole mess thanks to Dr. Insaneo, so it may take a while. Besides that, Joe...you were in an accident with your siblings last month.
JOE: Yeah, I know. Don't remind me.
TOOM: You guys aren't even cleared to wrestle! EWT hasn't recieved your medical forms or releases yet and-
JOE: Take a look.
*Joe snaps out a piece of paper and hands it to Toom.*
TOOM: What's this?
JOE: I got a second opinion from Dr. Frank Burns. It says I'm good to get back into the ring now.
TOOM: Joe, I'm sorry, but I don't think-
JOE: Toomi. I'm gonna say this as nice and calm as I can. I was the LAST good opponent Insaneo had. Did you watch my match? How I gave the crowd more than they expected in a Hardcore match? Did you see the fans CHEER FOR FUN?! Just a reminder, Toomi, nobody's seen stuff that big since the Hardy Boyz! I intend to do more than THEY even did! I am the Innovator of FUN, dammit! And if you don't plan to put me in whatever decides the champion, then I'll wait! But when the time comes, I'm gonna have my FUN! Got it?
TOOM: Joe...you have some good arguments there. At this time, I'll consider it. But until I make my decision, you are still not cleared to return to the ring. Understood?
JOE: Yeah...I hear you.
*Joe turns to the door, but stops and motions back to Toom.*
JOE: Just remember...make the right decision.
*And he leaves.*
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Jun 9, 2006 15:21:38 GMT -5
*HBH and Cherry walk up to the match board*
HBH: Great. I just went through hell in the Megadeth and now I'm supposed to defend my title against some garbage wrestler.
Cherry: You should be careful out there, Bret. I've heard that he drinks a lot of beer and then smashes beer cans with his head, so he can be very dangerous.
HBH: Ah, I'll be alright. If I'm lucky enough, he'll be too impaired to fight.
*Just then Rosa enters the picture to see who she's facing*
HBH: Well well well, look who the cat dragged in.
Rosa: *sarcastically* Heh, nice to see you too.
HBH: I see you're the new GND Champion. I always knew you would be something one day. You just needed the right outlet and the right people to help you showcase your abilities, namely me.
Rosa: Oh no you don't. Don't take all the credit for this. I was the one who worked my butt off to get where I am now. I won this title, not you!
Cherry: Hey! Don't talk to him like that. You owe your career to this man. If it wasn't for Bret, you might not be champion right now.
Rosa: Unless you want to get knocked on your ass, I suggest you stay the hell out of this.
HBH: What's the matter? Can't take the fact that she's right?
Rosa: You have got to be the most egotistical person I have ever met. You think everything revolves around you. Well you know what? Keep on living in your little dream world and I'll keep on living in reality. And the reality is this: I'm doing perfectly fine without you or your HO!
*Rosa walks off*
Cherry: Ugh, I can't stand that b****.
HBH: Yeah, she's clearly in denial. Let's go.
*HBH and Cherry walk off as we cut to the next segment*
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,391
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Jun 9, 2006 19:08:52 GMT -5
"Fat Lip" by Sum 41 hits as Bolt Bacana walks out. He's wearing jeans with the "V for Vendetta" Sign on the left leg and a yellow lightning bolt on the right. He's also wearing a plain white shirt and taped wrists, and looks ready for a fight.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for onre fall. Making his way to the ring, from the mean streets of Chicago, weighing in at 235 lbs., Bolt Bacana!!!
Bolt hops into the ring and poses on the turnbuckle a la Chris Sabin before jumping off and stretching. "Walk" by Pantera hits as the crowd starts to go wild.
Announcer: And his opponent, from Battle Creek, Michigan, weighing in at 235 lbs., representing ECW, Mr. Money In The Bank, ROB VAN DAM!!!
RVD enters the ring and grabs the micopone from the announcer.
RVD: Hey Bolt, I just want to know if you are truly hardcore to hang with me, R...V.....D.
Bolt: (screaming) You bet your ass I am!!
RVD: Okay dude, then how about me and you face off in a hardcore triple threat match!!
Bolt: No problem. Who's the third guy?
On that note, "Sick" Nick Mondo ambushes Bolt and knocks him down with a singapore cane to start the match.
-----Ding Ding Ding-----
Nick is still beating on Bolt before RVD bounces off the ropes and hits the Rolling Thunder. Nick and RVD go to high five when Nick whacks RVD over the head. Nick turns around and goes for an elbow drop when Bolt rolls out of the ring. Bolt starts looking for a weapon when Nick jumps over the top rope. Bolt sees this and catches Nick before hitting the Gunn Stinger (cool swinging sidewalk slam that Billy Gunn usedin his last run with WWE).
Bolt goes back to look for a weapon when RVD catches him with a baseball slide. Bolt gets back up and gets caught with a boot to the face, courtesy of a spinning kick. Bolt is down as Nick low-blows RVD and hits a reverse DDT. Nick looks under the ring and starts pulling out an object when Bolt jumps off the announcers table, stomps on Nick's shoulders, bounces off the ropes, backflips over Nick and grabs his head in a reverse DDT, and picks him up before htiing a vertical Eye of the Hurricane!!! Nick is starting to bleed as Bolt grabs the object that Nick had and pulls it out, showing that it's a double length table!!! Bolt tosses the table onto the announcers table and grabs another one from the ring. He tosses the second table next to the first one before whacking RVD with a steel chair.
Bolt goes to work now, and sets the first table up on the French Announcer's table. He grabs the second table and tosses it over the Ugandan Announcer's table before it lands on the Canadian Announcer's. Bolt sets that table up before getting a ladder. Nick has gotten back up and attacks Bolt with a double axe handle to the back. Nick grabs his trusty singapore cane and goes to hit Bolt when RVD hits Nick with a running Van Damminator!!! Bolt turns around and catches a tossed chair as RVD hits a Van Damminator again!!
RVD grabs a third table and sets it up on the Ugandan Announcer's table before setting the first ladder up on the French table. Van Dam grabs a second ladder as Nick starts to stir and Bolt is getting up. It's immediantly apparent that Bolt is busted open, as he's bleeding from his forehead. RVD sets the second ladder on the Canadian table as Bolt grabs a triple length table (!!!) and tosses it on the Ugandan announcer's table. RVD grabs another ladder as Bolt starts climbing the ladder on the Ugandan table, dragging the table. Nick gets up and starts climbing the French ladder when Bolt starts to speak.
Bolt: Help me out here!!
Nick: WHy the f*** should I?
Bolt: We can take out Van Dam and besides, it'll be hardcore!!
Nick: Deal.
Bolt swings the triple length ladder over to Nick and sets it up a la E&C at 'Mania 01 (I think). Bolt climbs up on the ladder and balances himself before going back down. RVD sees what's going on and decides to go along, dragging another triple length table. RVD convinces Nick to help him and they set the table up the same way Nick and Bolt did a while ago. All three men are 30 feet in the air as the fans are going wild. Bolt and RVD start fighting as Nick stays off to one side, watching the two trade punches.
Bolt gets rocked with an uppercut as RVD grabs Bolt and hoists him in the air for a suplex. Nick pulls Bolt down and kicks RVD right in the face before hitting him with a kick to the back of the head, knocking RVD out. Nick and Bolt then prepare to hit RVD, but Bolt turns on Nick and kicks him in the "sensitive areas" before grabbing him in a powerbomb position. Bolt signals to the crowd before POWERBOMBING NICK MONDO THROUGH THE RING!!!!!!!!!!
Crowd: HOLY S***! HOLY S***!
Bolt is standing alone on the makeshift scaffold as Nick is on the ground, not moving. RVD gets placed in the powerbomb position. Bolt signals to the crowd before RHINO DRIVER!!!! RHINO DRIVER FROM 30 FEET IN THE AIR ONTO THREE TABLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bolt and RVD are barely moving as the crowd is roaring now. No fan is sitting down and all the fans are chanting for the three competitors. Bolt is the first to get up and slides into the ring before going to the top rope. Bolt positions himself before leaping off with the Code Blue!!! Bolt has the pin....
1....
2....
3.....!!!
Announcer: Here is your winner, Bolt Bacana!!
Bolt is barely moving as Nick Mondo is still down from the powerbomb. Bolt manages to get to his feet wearing a crimson mask over his face. The crowd is roaring with approval as Jessica and Chad Michaels come out to help Bolt get to the back. EMT's come out to help Nick Mondo and RVD as we fade to a commercial for ROH DVD's.
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Post by teamireland on Jun 10, 2006 19:30:18 GMT -5
*Team Ireland are getting raucous backstage. Interviewer Marisol Kaneshall approaches them.*
Marisol: Coach O'Hare, I'd like to ask you a few questions. O'Hare: Ask away, love. *Liam O'Neill hands Coach O'Hare a tin of Guinness* Marisol: Well, firstly, that was your first match in EWT & now you & your boys are 1 & 0. How does it feel to have made such an impact upon your debut? O'Hare: *taking a swig from the Guinness tin* It feels absolutely great. I knew that these lads were well prepared & now I hope that the rest of the EWT locker-room is on notice. We're not just here to mess around. We've got big plans & all these EWT tag-teams & singles competitors better take note. These lads can fight anyone, any style! We might take the Toolshed Championship, the Ox Division Title, the Tag-Team titles, or even the EWT World Heavyweight Championship!
Marisol: How is Sean McCann faring? I understand he re-injured himself over the course of the match. I hope he gets well soon, he's kinda cute. O'Hare: Sean did suffer a bit of an injury, but he's fine now just take a look. *O'Hare gestures behind him where Sean McCann can be seen sitting & drinking with the rest of Team Ireland.*
Marisol: And, finally, how are you finding things here in EWT? Have you made any friends or enemies in the locker-room? O'Hare: Actually, we're having trouble getting on with alot of the fellas back here. Tell ya what, we were just about to go out for a drink. The next EWT wrestler Or wrestlers we encounter will be invited to go out with us.
*At that, The Nyrds walk by.* O'Hare: Here lads, hold on. *Joel & Mike turn around* O'Hare: Ya know how we're new here & all, well we're trying to get to know our co-workers. Would you care to join us for a wee drink tonight?
Mike: Well, um, we don't really drink that much &... O'Hare: Nonsense, look, once you get your first pint of Guinness down ye, ye'll love it!
*Coach O'Hare puts his arms over the shoulders of The Nyrds & walks back to the rest of Team Ireland as Marisol looks on.*
O'Hare: [distantly] Look, lads! We've got some new drinkin' buddies!
*Team Ireland cheer as The Nyrds tremble nervously.*
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Jun 11, 2006 1:17:50 GMT -5
*Spaz walks into Toom E's office.*
TED: What can I do for you Spaz?
S: I see I have a match against Tommy Dreamer this week. I want to make it special.
TED: What did you have in mind?
S: Well we have already done it once for the OX title so I say we do it again for the World Title a Falls Count Anywhere match.
TED: Are you sure?
S: Absolutely.
TED: Then you got it. Spaz v Tommy Dreamer Falls Count Anywhere for the EWT World Heavyweight Title!
*Spaz walks out of Toom E's office satisfied.*
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Jun 11, 2006 11:29:48 GMT -5
*"She's Got Issues" hits, and Carla O Woe is out, to a great response, for a last-minute addition to the matchboard.*
Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one-fall! Introducing first, from Rochester, New Hampshire, she is CARLA O WOE!!!!
*Carla gets into the ring, before climbing the turnbuckle and throwing up the horns, appealing to the crowd for a great response. She then backflips off the turnbuckle, and bounces off the ropes to await her opponent.*
*"Enter Sandman" hits, and Woman makes her way out to a good reaction from hardcore ECW fans. Woman makes her way cockily to the ring.*
Chimel: Aaaaand her opponent, from Orlando, Florida...WOMAN!!!
*Woman gets into the ring, and stares down Carla. Woman calls for the microphone, and is given it by Chimel, who leaves the ring quickly.*
Woman: Now...I know what you're all thinking...what am I thinking...sure, I've been around the best in the business, I may have picked up a few moves or so...but I haven't wrestled a match in my life, and here I am facing a former GND Division champion...all I can say is, I've seen you girls put on a fine display...and I want in! I want you to take me to the limit, and show me just how good you girls are, okay?
*Carla looks a little suspicious, but eventually nods to this, and extends her hand to Woman...to be caught with a kendo stick shot from the Sandman!!! The crowd boo as Woman smiles and calls for the opening bell! Woman immediately goes for the cheap cover!*
1, 2...
*CARLA GETS THE SHOULDER UP!!! The crowd pop as Woman and the Sandman look perplexed! Woman angrily goes for the cover again!*
1, 2...
*Carla kicks out once more, prompting Woman to slap the mat in frustration! She then motions to the Sandman, as she lifts Carla up, holding her upright as Sandman readies his Kendo stick again...*
*Tony Chang suddenly appears, grabbing the Sandman from behind in a Cobra Clutch, leaping over him for the CONSTRICTOR!!! Sandman strikes the mat hard, falling to his back as Carla powers her way out of Woman's hold, hitting a snapmare to Woman, before hitting a dropkick to the head of the seated Woman!! Chang then strides over to the downed Sandman, standing on his chest, before loudly proclaiming "I'M HARDCORE!!", before leaping up with the standing star press onto Sandman! Sandman rolls out of the ring as Chang appeals to the crowd, who begin a "HE'S HARDCORE!" chant.*
*Woman, her defender now having been eliminated, crawls to the ropes to try and escape, but Carla drags her by the feet to the centre of the ring...before flipping her over, and locking in the DEVIL LOCK!!!! Woman taps almost instantaneously!!!*
Winner: Carla O Woe!!
*Carla raises her arms in victory as Tony Chang appeals on the turnbuckle to the cheering fans. Chang drops, and faces Carla. Carla looks a little uncomfortable, but manages a "thanks" to Chang, extending her hand. Chang takes it in his stride, accepting Carla's hand, and raising it high, proclaiming Carla the victor. Chang then leaves the ring as Carla looks on, half-confused, half-impressed.*
*Fade out to commercials.*
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Post by pta on Jun 11, 2006 13:23:37 GMT -5
CW Anderson's old ECW Theme starts up as he heads down to the ring, getting a moderate response from the crowd.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Minneapolis Minnesota... CW Anderson!!!
Anderson rolls into the ring, warming up a bit for his opponent. Soon enough Pomp and Circumstance starts up and the crowd gives a very negative reaction to Principal Pain and Eddie Omega.
Announcer: And the opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Eddie Omega, from Dover Delaware, weighing in at 235 pounds... representing the P.T.A... Principal Pain!!!
Pain heads down the rampway, hopping onto the ring apron and climbing inside the ring, he glances over at Anderson, pretty much ignoring him and grabbing the announcer's microphone.
Pain: Well there you go Virus... you've gone and earned my full wrath... the full wrath of the PTA!!! I hope you're proud of yourself, because you my friend have just made a grave error on your behalf. And I guarantee that soon... you will end up regretting it!
The crowd boos, starting up a mild Virus chant.
Pain: And tonight, I intend to send you a message by destroying this man I'm facing... Chris Wright Anderson isn't it?
He turns around, eying CW, who looks rather surprised being referred to by his real name. He immediately charges forward, going for a clothesline, which Pain counters into a quick hip toss. Anderson hits the mat, groaning as he rises up slowly, only for Pain to take control, leveling him right in the skull with stiff soccer kicks as he tries to get up, weakening him further. He lifts Anderson up by the arm, battering his chest now with stiff knife edge chops, sending him reeling into the ropes. Pain then charges forward, hitting Anderson with a running knee to the gut, causing him to hunch over, pain grabbing him and taking him down with a swinging neckbreaker! The crowd boos as Pain then follows up, clinching on and applying a dragon sleeper, holding up with one arm and delivering shots to the throat with the other as he does so... Anderson squirming and wriggling to try and escape, but to no avail. Eventually, Pain lifts Anderson back up, in a waistlock, spinning around and hitting an Half Nelson Release Suplex! He rises to his feet quickly, running forward again and leaping onto Anderson's neck with a double foot stomp! The crowd boos as Anderson clutches his sore neck in pain. Pain takes this chance for a cover. 1....2...
Anderson kicks out. Pain growls, not looking pleased as he hoists Anderson back to his feet, grabbing him for and connecting with a quick Russian Leg Sweep! As he drops him down, Pain position's himself for a Buffalo Sleeper, now trying to put Anderson completely out of this match. Anderson groans, soon starting to succumb from the effects, but still trying to fight out. He attempts to get to a vertical base, but Pain uses his own legs to trap Anderson's keeping him down. Soon, CW looks like he's fading fast, starting to go under... and finally becoming nearly motionless. The referee checks for consciousness. 1....2....
Anderson keeps the arm up the third time! He's still in this match, but the question is... for how long? Pain continues to keep the hold applied, but Anderson quickly fights back with some headbutt's to the Principal's skull, causing him to loosen his grip! He groans, finally loosening it up enough for Anderson to rise to his feet, grabbing Pain from the side and planting him with a sidewalk slam! The crowd pops as Anderson goes for a cover of his own. 1...2....
Pain kicks out. Anderson isn't too shocked, but still seems ready to fight. He rises to his feet, stalking Pain... seemingly looking for something big. As Pain rises up, Anderson grabs him and nails an Exploder Suplex, sending Pain flying back down to the mat! He clutches his back in pain, having landed rather hard on it. Anderson gets up, charging himself now and dropping a jumping elbow into the heart of the Principal, who goes wide eyed, clutching the area in pain. Anderson gets back up quickly, dropping a falling elbow drop this time... in the same area. He goes for a second cover. 1....2...
Again Pain kicks out. Anderson growls, lifting the Principal to his feet, hitting him with a few stiff shots, dazing him further. He lifts him up, setting him up on the nearby second turnbuckle. Anderson then gives him another kick shot to the gut, lifting Pain up for a stalling Vertical Suplex! As the blood rushes to Pain's head, Anderson finally drops him down hard, immediately going for another pin. 1....2....
NO! Pain manages to get the shoulder up. Anderson looks rather surprised again. He rolls Pain over with a foot, now stomping at the back area, attempting to soften him up further. He then leaps up, going for a splash to the back... and connecting! The crowd pops as Anderson gets back up to his feet, signaling for the end... when Omega gets on the ring apron! The referee turns around scolding him and trying to get him off as Anderson turns around distracted. Meanwhile Pain slowly rises to his feet again, turning around and walking right into an Anderson Spinebuster, only for CW to receive a BLATANT Low blow kick to the groin. The referee has been distracted by Omega. Pain then grabs CW, planting him with a Reverse DDT! He then immediately goes on to apply the seldom used Detention Lock! At this very moment, Omega stops distracting the referee. CW grimaces a bit, with nowhere to go. Reluctantly, he taps out as Pain keeps the lock on for a few seconds after. The crowd boos visibly
Announcer: Here is your winner... Principal Pain!!!
Pain rolls out of the ring, clutching his body a bit sorely, as Omega helps him backstage... the men receiving quite a bit of heat as we fade to the next segment.
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Spyke the Pacers Fan
El Dandy
Still hates himself for missing the last episode of Murder She Wrote
Go Indiana!
Posts: 8,061
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Post by Spyke the Pacers Fan on Jun 11, 2006 15:24:07 GMT -5
Spyke and RLC walk up to the match board.
Spyke: You know, when Toomi announces what he's doing with the Toolshed Championship, you bet I'll be there ready to do whatever it takes. It's just a shame I won't get to beat Dr. Insaneo for it. He was perhaps my greatest opponent so far in EWT.
Rachael: Yeah, it sucks that you never got to beat him. I would have liked to take a few shots on him myself, that stupid little piece of monkey--
Spyke (interrupting): Hey! New match board is up!
Spyke and RLC both look at the match board.
RLC: No way! Beulah?! Awesome! Who do you got?
Spyke: (stares at board, angry)
RLC: Who do you got?
Spyke: ...
RLC looks at board
RLC: MARK HENRY?!
Spyke (trying to calm himself down): I'm not mad, I'm not angry.
RLC: It's good to know that you can take this so--
Spyke: THIS IS BULLCRAP! Does Toomi think I can't hang with ECW guys? He gives me Mark Henry?! MARK F***ING HENRY?!
RLC: What are you going to do?!
Spyke thinks for a second
Spyke (calmer): Oh, I got a great idea! Mark Henry, the locker room, and all the fans out there, are about to see a different side of Spyke Johannson! WOOOOOOO!
Spyke breakdances, then does a backflip off of a wall before walking off camera. Limey approaches.
Limey: Hey, I heard Spyke yelling, what was that all about?
RLC (smiling): I don't know, but something very cool is about to happen.
RLC walks off camera. Limey looks confused as we fade to commercial for WWE Vengence. DX is returning, but, shhhhh, don't tell anyone!
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B.A.
Grimlock
Posts: 13,335
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Post by B.A. on Jun 12, 2006 8:01:32 GMT -5
Eddie Omega paces back and forth nervously.....he looks up at the clock.
*Sabu's theme music starts*
Lillian: "The following match is an ECW rules match..from India.....the homicidal, ..genocidal, suicidal maniac...SABU!!"
The crowd erupts as Sabu brings a steel chair to the ring, and slides into the ring. He walks around and points to the sky in his trademark taunt. Eddie is in back and heres his music start...he nervously walks up the stairs...
Lillian:"And from Washington, D.C...P.T.A. member..Eddie Omega"
Eddie walks out on the stage to you suck chants from the crowd. He looks to the right and walks slowly down the ring. He looks at Sabu in the ring and has a sickening feeling in his stomach. Eddie is then pushed by a fan near ringside. He turns around and tries to go after the fan but Sabu places the chair in the ring...runs to the other side and jumps off of it, on to the ropes and splashes Eddie on the outside.
*Joey Styles joins in for commentary*
Joey: "The homicidal, genocidal, suicidal....Sabu splashes Eddie Omega on the outside!!!"
Eddie is in pain on the outside and Sabu gets up and throws Eddie in the ring. Finally the bell rings as Sabu begins stomping Eddie as he crawls to the corner. Sabu places the chair near the ropes, runs across and does Air Sabu to Eddie hitting him with so much force that he nearly topples over the ring.
Styles: "Air Sabu, and Eddie is in a world of hurt. I really think hes in over his head here. But who knows, maybe Eddie might walk away with a minor injury."
Eddie goes outside the ring and Sabu tries to follow but Eddie grabs his legs and pulls him from under the ropes and begins to punch him. Eddie walks away then runs to Sabu clotheslining him. Eddie picks Sabu up and irish whips him into the barrier. He then mocks Sabu by pointing to the sky and running and jumping, hitting Sabu in the face with his calf as both go over into the 2nd row. Eddie then slides his body over the railing as he tries to go around, and he gets into the ring. He looks over at styles and says something..
Styles: I think..I think he told us hes gonna end it!! I dont know how though
Eddie then waits for Sabu to get in the ring, before irish whipping him in the corner. He then begins the brutal Pledges to Sabu and walks away, but Sabu runs and takes out Eddie's knee. He tells the ref to come here...and look at Eddie..
Styles: I dont know what hes doing, but wait one sec. Sabu!!!! OH MY GOD! Sabu has jumped over the ref to do an legdrop from the top rope. A quick cover....1...2..No!!
Eddie eyes are in the back of his head and hes looking up at the lights. Sabu picks him up and chops him, he grabs another chair and sets Eddie in the corner. He tries to go for another Air Sabu but as he jumps, Eddie catches him and drops him on his back. Eddie then goes to the outside and finds a barbed wire bat from under the ring, and he pulls out a table. He slides into the ring, and takes the bat and slams it on Sabu's stomach. Sabu looks to be clutching his sides...
Eddie then sets the table up on the outside, as he calls for the end...
Styles: I think hes gonna end it, I think I heard the Omega Psi Phi..but hes gonna belly to belly him to the outside. That table is suspended between the barrier and the apron. !!!
Eddie looks at Sabu get up keeping out of sight. He then goes over to Sabu, hooks him but Sabu breaks out of it and hiptosses Eddie. He then grabs a steel chair and goes to the top rope.
Styles: "I know whats coming now!!!"
Sabu grabs the chair but Eddie hops up and drops Sabu on the ropes. But before anything is done, Eddie is able to go ahead and pull him off. Eddie goes over to talk to the ref about time in the match, a stall tatic, but Sabu low blows him. He gets up and looks around at the crowd to get pops, and then sets the chair up. He runs across the ring, jumps on the chair jumps on the rope and does his Triple jump moonsault but doesnt pin him as Eddie rolls to the outside.
Sabu grabs Eddies hair but Eddie puches him. He tries to go for the Omega Psi Phi again, but Sabu is biting his nose. He grabs a chair and throws it at Eddies head directly as Eddie lands on the still suspended table on the outside. Sabu hypes up the crowd...
He goes to the top rope with the steel chair to the weary Eddie and while in mid air puts the chair under his leg and does the Arabian Facebuster to Eddie breaking the table.
Crowd: Holy S*** HOLY S***
Styles: "Eddie is not moving, and neither is Sabu!!!"
Medics come down to the ringside and assess the situation, they determine that Eddie and Sabu are not able to continue and fight anymore. The stretches come down, and try to determine what to do. They check on Eddie and he points to his arm, and Sabu is still dazed as the camera fades..
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Ratings
Dennis Stamp
Has a box of scraps
"YAY!"
Posts: 4,236
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Post by Ratings on Jun 12, 2006 8:38:38 GMT -5
(EWT ARENA - BACKSTAGE)
(MARISOL KANSHALL is standing by, mic ready)
MARISOL: "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guests at this time: THE ELITE!"
(All three ELITE members--RATINGS with MAXX AWESOME & ERIK MAJORS: BOOGIE KNIGHTS 3000--join MARISOL before the camera. All three are smiling and dressed in their expensive casual clothing)
MARISOL: "Gentlemen, I would like to ask you about your thoughts on last week's pay-per-view, Kingdom of Hurt. First, the Boogie Knights 3000, you came up short in your scaffold match against the Connection and--"
(MAXX raises his hand up in objection)
MAXX: "Whoa, whoa, hold up a sec, blue eyes."
MARISOL: "...They're green."
MAXX: "Whatever. In case you didn't notice, the Connection never finished the job they started. Sure, they put me through seven tables and I've been coughing up a little bit of blood since then, but they never pinned us for the 1-2-3; something we did to them in our very first match in EWT. Do you know why walked away, Marissa? Because they are afraid of us. They knew if they were to come back into that ring, we would kick their asses back into the matrix or their parents' basement. They knew who they were dealing with, the greatest tag team that has ever stepped foot into an EWT ring. So, Connection, a little warning: cross our dance floor again, and BK3K will send you and your black makeup kit packing."
MARISOL: "...Okay. Now, Ratings." (turns to RATINGS) "Last week at Kingdom of Hurt you fought Chris James in what turn out to be a bloody and violent battle. I mean, your body was covered in thumbtacks from head-to-toe and..."
RATINGS: "That's enough, Miss Kanshall. I'm well aware of what occured in that fight, as am I of the outcome of the match. For it wasn't Chris James' hand who was raised in the end, but it was mine! I pinned Chris James, 1... 2... 3! Do you remember when I leaped to the top rope and gave him "The Finale" to the outside through a table? That moment will forever be engraved in the EWT history books. You see, last Sunday I proved two things to all of those who question and doubt me: I proved I was not afraid or inferior to Chris James; and I proved that I could best anyone in the ring... or in a street fight. I suppose you can say I'm somewhat of a "King of the Streetfight"... a "Lord of the Streetfight". Which brings me to my big announcement. You see, I read the match board and saw Toom E. Dangerously is doing incorporating these "bingo hall has-beens". I am far beyond them in everyway, so I've decided to pass on my opponent and replace him with this: "The RATINGS STREETFIGHTER INVITATIONAL". I'm calling out any streetfighter out there who thinks they can top me in the ring. I don't care who it is: boppers, brawlers, whoever. If they think they got what it takes, they can step up to the plate, only to go down swinging. On a related note, I've also made changes to Maxx & Erik's match. You see, Marisol, these two are the greatest tag team in the history of this industry. So rather than fighting some fools in matching t-shirts, I've selected some international talent to be their opponents. Now, with those matters out of the way, it appears that Chris James has issued a challenge to me at the pay-per-view in a... what was it again? Oh yes, a "Hell in the Cell" match. Chris, are you that dellusional that you actually think you can ever defeat me. I left you in a pool of your own blood last time we fought, and now you want some more? I don't fear you, Chris James. I don't fear you, or your bickering egos; the "Outlaw" or the "Mercenary". So you know what, Chris? I accept. Bring whatever you want, be whoever you want to be, it won't make a damn difference. Because much like before, Chris, you will fall... and the Ratings... will... rise. Lets go gentlemen, the clubs await."
(The three depart, leaving MARISOL watching them exit. The camera follows them and just before they open the doors to the parking garage, ERIK stops as something catching his eye. He places his hand on MAXX's shoulder)
ERIK: "Hey, hold up guys."
(RATINGS & MAXX stop and turn to him)
MAXX: "What is it?"
ERIK: "You know what? I'm going to be a minute. You two go on ahead."
RATINGS: "You sure?"
ERIK: "Yeah, I'll just be a second, I'll meet you out there."
MAXX: "Alright, dude. We'll be in the limo."
ERIK: "No problem, like I said, I'll just be a second."
(RATINGS & MAXX leave and ERIK heads off in the opposite direction, where CARLA O. WOE is getting herself a refreshment at the coffee table. ERIK in a sly manner begins checking her out as she has her back towards him. CARLA turns around and is startled by the sudden appearance of ERIK, dropping her coffee in the process. The cup's contents splashes onto the floor and ERIK's shoes)
CARLA: "Oh... I am so, SO, sorry."
(ERIK looks down at his coffee stained leather shoes, then looks up at CARLA with a grin)
ERIK: "No worries. But if you want to make it up to me, I can think of a few ways you can."
CARLA: (uncomfortable) "E-Excuse me?"
ERIK: "I know what you are thinking... this is the first time you've been in the presence of a REAL man. I bet you would like to get use to this."
CARLA: "I... I'd rather not."
(CARLA turns to leave)
ERIK: "Don't shoot me down already, sweetheart."
(He grabs her by the arm)
CARLA: "Piss off!"
(She whips around and goes to slap ERIK, but he catches her by the wrist. He holds it tightly and pulls her into her. He looks into CARLA's helpless eyes and cups her chin. He turns it, studying her facial features before snickering with a baleful grin)
ERIK: "Playing hard to get, eh?"
(He leans into her, whispering into her ear)
ERIK: (whispering) "I love a challenge."
(He lets go of CARLA's arm and backs away, maintaining his sick grin)
ERIK: "Be seeing you."
(ERIK chuckles and heads for the parking garage doors, leaving a shaken, but furious CARLA O. WOE)
(FADE OUT)
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Post by chanceconfidence on Jun 12, 2006 9:38:55 GMT -5
Sweetest Perfection starts up as Chance strides his way towards the ring, wearing new wrestling attire of course, a pair of emerald green trunks with his face spray painted across the back of them. The crowd gives the Chance Reaction... AKA a mixed one. He spins around, showing off his physique as he heads down to the ring, hopping inside and doing his usual entrance. Chance then reaches into his trunks and putting on his personal headset microphone.
Chance: Well hello there you filthy pigs... I'm betting you guys are hoping for some kinda big bad hardcore beatdown involving some schmo who looks like hell... well, guess what, tonight... I found the most HARDCORE... EXTREME... MOST VICIOUS ECW Wrestler of them all. Oh yeah, this guy... he doesn't take any crap from anybody! I mean... I'm worried just being in the same ring with him...
The crowd cheers, wondering who Chance shall face.
Chance: Oh please... please noble wrestler back there, please don't beat me up! I don't think I can take the fury you want to unleash...
Suddenly... the ECW theme Music starts up and out walks... The MUSKETEER?! The crowd boos as he swashbuckles with his little sword thing, Chance feigning absolutely shock and fear... backing up and getting on his knees, begging for his life. The Musketeer climbs into the ring, walking over and looking down at Chance looking confused. Chance gets to his feet and immediately lays the poor Musketeer out with a simple Confidence Breaker... popping up to his feet and panting, acting as if he just went through an hour long match. He pretends to choke and gag... then blatantly falls atop the Musketeer... for the easy 1...2...3!!! The crowd boos as Chance nips up, with a sly smirk on his face.
Chance: Well now... that was definitely my toughest match yet! I mean... I didn't think I would survive, did you twits?
It's official. Chance has turned Heel once again. He laughs out loud, no longer able to keep this up. He looks down at Musketeer, grabbing his little sword and poking him... yep, he's dead.
Chance: Well... it doesn't matter how tough the odds are... Chance Confidence will always overcome them! Just like I did tonight... just like I'll be doing every night from here on in... just like I'll be doing for ETERNITY!!! Because Chance... Confidence... is PERFECTION PERSONIFIED!!!
Chance's theme starts up again as he leaves the ring... the Musketeer getting to his feet and shaking off the cobwebs, wondering what the hell just happened.
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Post by craigkendo on Jun 12, 2006 15:38:25 GMT -5
*The music of the Pitbulls hits, and Pitbulls #1 and #2 make their way out, chained together as usual. They get a pretty good reaction as they head to the ring.*
Chimel: The following tag team contest is scheduled for ONE-FALL!! Introducing first, from Pennsylvania, at a comnbined weight of 483 pounds...THE PITBULLS!!!!
*The Pitbulls enter the ring, and remove their individual chains before awaiting their opponents.*
*"Ich Will" hits, and the crowd pop as The Connection make their way out. Tony Chang slaps the hands of many a fan by ringside, clad in his "I'M HARDCORE" T-Shirt. Craig Kendo simply silently observes Chang with a smile as he does so, before holding his arms aloft.*
Chimel: Their opponents, from Newark, New Jersey and Seoul, Korea respectively...at a total combined weight of 589 pounds...Craig Kendo, and Tony "The Viper" Chang...THE CONNECTION!!!
*The Connection make their way to the ring. Kendo goes over the top as Chang jumps the rope, taking his "I'M HARDCORE" T-Shirt off and throwing it to a random fan. The Connection then turn to the Pitbulls...as the Pitbulls try a sneak attack...The Connection both duck this, and then capitalise as the Pitbulls turn, with Chang taking it to Pitbull #1 and Kendo taking care of Pitbull #2 with stereo punches to the head, before both running the ropes. The Pitbulls both duck, hoping for a back body drop on their respective opponent...but Kendo counters with a knee to Pitbull #2's head as Chang leaps over Pitbull #1 with a back roll. Pitbull #1 turns, and Chang suddenly grabs him for a captured jawbreaker!! Kendo exits to the apron as Pitbull #2 rolls out, leaving Chang and Pitbull #1 as the legal men.*
*Pitbull #1 rises to his feet as Tony Chang tries a stomping series...Pitbull #1 grabs Chang's ankle as he does so! Chang tries an enziguri, but Pitbull #1 ducks this, capturing Chang with a gutwrench, and lifting him with a back suplex...Chang lands splendidly on his feet before grabbing Pitbull #1 with a Dragon sleeper...Pitbull #1 hits some chops to Chang to get him to release the hold...before dropping down to hit a kick to Chang's face! Pitbull #1 then groggily approaches his partner, tagging him in.*
*Pitbull #2 enters the ring, and kicks Chang in the gut as he's down, sending Chang rolling to his back. Pitbull #2 then picks up Chang by the head, and puts Chang's head between his limbs, ready for a powerbomb. Pitbull #2 lifts Chang high...only for Chang to come down with a sunset flip onto Pitbull #2!*
1, 2...
*Pitbull #2 kicks out as Chang rolls backwards towards his corner! Pitbull #2 scurries up, however, and lunges at Chang with a clothesline...Chang slides underneath this, and Pitbull #2 stops just short of Craig Kendo in his corner. Pitbull #2 turns...as Chang charges at him for a leapfrog, landing on his corner turnbuckle as Kendo makes the blind tag! Kendo then enters as Pitbull #2 turns...and Kendo charges Pitbull #2 with a spear just as Chang leaps off the turnbuckle for an Asai moonsault onto Pitbull #2 in a unique double team manoeuver!!*
*Pitbull #1 tries to enter, but Chang rushes him, charging at him with a Cactus clothesline, sending both men out of the ring! Craig Kendo is alone in the ring with Pitbull #2, and he stalks him, readying himself as Pitbull #2 gets to his feet...Kendo then kicks Pitbull #2 in the gut, before lifting him over his head...and dropping down with the ENLIGHTENMENT!!! Kendo then hooks the leg!*
1, 2, 3!
Winners: The Connection.
*Post-match, Kendo celebrates...until Pitbull #1 enters the ring, taking down Kendo with a hard clothesline! Pitbull #1 stomps away on Kendo as Tony Chang enters the ring, rushing straight at Pitbull #1...Pitbull #2 points Chang out to his partner, and Pitbull #1 therefore ducks a calf kick attempt from Tony Chang! Chang turns...and Pitbull #1 lifts him onto his shoulders, dropping with the Death Valley Driver! Pitbull #1 helps Pitbull #2 to his feet, and together they stomp at Craig Kendo to a fairly large amount of booing. The Pitbulls then retreive their chains from the turnbuckle, before taking the chains to Kendo, tying him to the ropes!! Kendo is enraged, but unable to do anything as the Pitbulls turn to Tony Chang. Pitbull #2 climbs to the turnbuckle as Pitbull #1 lifts Tony Chang up to try for the Superbomb...*
*IT'S CARLA O WOE!! CARLA O WOE IS HERE!!! Carla quickly scales the apron, and hits a leg lariat from the apron to Pitbull #2! Pitbull #2 falls from the turnbuckle to the arena floor as Pitbull #1, confused by the situation, leaves himself open for Tony Chang to drop down from the lifted position with a stunner onto Pitbull #1!! Pitbull #1 turns his back, nursing his face and neck...just as Carla O Woe comes off the turnbuckle with a REWIND HURRICANRANA onto Pitbull #1!! Pitbull #1 rolls out of the ring as Tony Chang goes over to Craig Kendo, untying him from the ropes. Chang and Kendo then look to Carla, smiling. Chang calls for the mic.*
Chang: You know...if it wasn't for you...I'd be in a real jam...so for that...I thank you.
*The crowd pop for this as Carla looks appreciative. Carla nods, before trying to leave the ring. Chang holds his hand up.*
Chang: Whoa...hold on a minute...I just want to say...that guy, Erik Majors... I saw what happened backstage, and if you ask me, you probably don't want anything to do with him... yeah, in my opinion...you deserve a whole lot better than someone who just can't admit that he's a loser...a heathen...and...well...to put it bluntly...a whiny little b****!!
*The crowd pop at this as Carla looks amused.*
Chang: (continuing) So...just think about that, alright?
*Carla requests the mic, and Chang gives it to her.*
Carla: You're welcome, Tony. I just felt I kinda owed you something for helping me out against Woman and the Sandman...and yes, I think I most definately WILL aim higher than Erik Majors. Rest assured, I'll find someone I deserve who deserves me back...who knows...I may already have...
*Carla grins at Tony before giving him back the mic. The crowd "OOOH" at this. Chang looks chuffed as Kendo simply sighs. Carla leaves the ring, and heads to the back as we fade out...*
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Post by dorf on Jun 12, 2006 22:19:04 GMT -5
HEI-DEN-DORF!! HEI-DEN-DORF!! HEI-DEN-DORF!!
*Marching music plays throughout the arena as Heiden-Dorf appears underneath the CrapTron. He pretends that he has a stein in his right hand and continues marching on down the ring, along with the music beat. The boo's infiltrate the arena, but there are some cheers as he is lovable. Rhyno is already in the ring, flexing as Heiden-Dorf enters the ring fine.*
*Some kids were waving hi to Heiden-dorf from behing and Heiden-Dorf waved back at them with a smile; meanwhile Rhyno, sorta impatient sprints at Heiden-Dorf and gives him a vicious takedown to start the match.*
DING, DING, DING!!
*Rhyno does 5 rights at Heiden-Dorf's neck, while he was still down as the boo's really start to show onto Rhyno, for cheating to start the match early. Rhyno then made Heiden-Dorf stand up and Irish Whips him stiffly to the other corner...making him dazed and confuzed.*
*Rhyno runs quickly and Clotheslines him at the turnbuckles, making Heiden-Dorf more dazed and confuzed; but he is still up. Rhyno walks to the middle of the ring as Heiden-Dorf stumbles. Rhyno then picked up Heiden-Dorf and CONNECTS WITH TEH SPINEBUSTER!*
*Rhyno impatiently waits for Heiden-Dorf at the other side of the ring as he signals the GORE and the crowd is anticipating it. Heiden-Dorf gets up slowly as he wobbles all over the place; Rhyno sprints fast at a tough angle and he is about to-HE MISSES THE GORE! HEIDEN-DORF TURNED OUT OF THE WAY AS RHYNO HITS THE 2ND TURNBUCKLE POST!*
*Heiden-Dorf gets out of his faze slowly as he sees Rhyno stuck at the turnbuckle post. Heiden-Dorf grabs Rhyno from behind and does a Snapmere Takedown. Heiden-Dorf runs to the ropes and flings back with a stiff kick to Rhyno's back. Heiden-Dorf made Rhyno stand up and then performed a karate kick to the side of Rhyno's head.*
*The kick to the side of Rhyno's head did not take down Rhyno. Heiden-Dorf then motions to do the FINGER POINT OF DOOM! The point makes Rhyno fall down...Heiden-Dorf covers.*
Referee: 1!
2!
*Rhyno barely kicks out*
*Heiden-Dorf makes Rhyno stand up as Heiden-Dorf goes to the other corner. Heiden-Dorf sprints at Rhyno and CONNECTS WITH THE HELACIOUS SPEAR! HEIDEN-DORF COVERS!*
Referee: 1!
2!
3!
Winner: by pinfall, HEIDEN-DORF!
*Heiden-Dorf celebrates with cheers and goes back the ramp, with all boo's forgiven...for now, it seems.*
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Post by crauswell on Jun 13, 2006 10:01:12 GMT -5
New Jack's theme starts up as he quickly makes his way down to the ring, looking deranged and ready to seriously hurt someone as always.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Atlanta Georgia, weighing in at 240 pounds... The Original Gangsta... New Jack!!!
New Jack rolls inside of the ring, getting to his feet and pacing about a bit... waiting for his opponent.
He doesn't have to wait long as soon enough, Broken Wings starts up and out walks EWT's very own open furry.
Announcer: Introducing his opponent, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 272 pounds... Crauswell!!!
Crauswell heads down the rampway, quickly entering the ring and gazing over at New Jack, who gazes back. The bell rings and New Jack charges forward, going for a quick clothesline, Crauswell ducking underneath it. As New Jack turns around, Crauswell lays into him with some rather nasty throat thrusts, sending him reeling back into the ropes. He then proceeds to his a big time clothesline, sending Jack tumbling over the top rope and out of the ring. He then waits for him to get back up, so he can launch himself with a vaulting body press over the ropes, crashing into his opponent! New Jack groans a bit as the furry lifts him up by the throat, only to chop him back down with a knife edge chop across the same area. Jack lands sitting, immediately getting a soccer kick to the same throat area, him gasping and clutching it in pain. Crauswell lifts New Jack up again in a bear hug, charging forward and SLAMMING him into the ring apron... backing up and ramming into it with him again! New Jack moans a bit, being rolled back into the ring, Crauswell following.
He immediately locks in a Buffalo Sleeper on New Jack, still focusing on the neck and throat area, wrenching the life out of Jack, not even giving him a chance to fight back as he lifts him up to his feet, launching him with a sleeper suplex! New Jack lands in a heap on the mat as Crauswell makes the cover. 1...2...
New Jack kicks out. Crauswell growls, immediately following up with a series of quick leg drops across the neck, softening New Jack up further. As he finishes this, the furry hoists him up to his feet, tossing him up high in the air, then catching him with a neckbreaker! New Jack clutches his neck in agony as Crauswell refuses to relent, now focuysing some nasty kicks on the back of New Jack's neck, doing further damage. He reaches down, grabbing him by the throat and lifting him up high... only for New Jack to hit a desperation low blow! Crauswell groans... falling to his knees and clutching his junk as New Jack gets a crazy look in his eyes. And apparently, the low blow isn't enough for a DQ it seems.
New Jack rolls out of the ring, reaching around underneath and pulling out a friggin Pocket Knife! He reenters the ring as the referee tries to stop him and take the thing away... only for New Jack to shove him down to the mat. He stalks Crauswell, who is getting back to his feet. New Jack then STABS HIM right in the back of the neck! Crauswell acks, falling to mat, clutching his now bleeding neck area as New Jack grins, dropping the bloody knife and exitting the ring, grabbing a guitar and entering the ring once again. He then gets into swinging position, watching as Crauswell rises up somehow... then SLAMMING THE GUITAR right over his opponent's skull! Crauswell drops down to the mat hard as New Jack makes a cover. THe referee crawls over. 1....2.....
CRAUSWELL KICKS OUT! New Jack can't believe it! He tries to exit the ring, only for Crauswell to catch him with a leg lace from the ground, dropping him face first to the mat. He slowly gets up, clutching his skull and soon also clutching New Jack by the neck. He hoists him up high, then unloads with a flurry of forearms, chops, kicks, and fists, sending New Jack stumbling back into the corner of the nearby turnbuckle. Crauswell crosses his throat, setting New Jack up top, then leaping after, grabbing him for a top rope EXPLODER SUPLEX!!! New Jack lands with a nasty thud on the mat, clutching his possibly broken neck in pain as Crauswell almost effortlessly gets back to his own feet... then wrapping the noose that is his hand around New Jack's neck, hoisting him up high and looking for the Beak Buster... only to charges and Beak Bust New Jack right into the damn turnbuckle!!! You can hear the crowd cringe at that one as Crauswell drags New Jack into the center of the ring, drops down and locks in The Crossface Gryphon Wing! New Jack doesn't even last a full second before tapping out.
Announcer: Here is your winner... Crauswell!!!
Crauswell breaks the hold... getting to his feet and then grabbing the pocket-knife off the ground, RIPPING NEW JACK'S Shirt off, and then carving his name into the stomach of the unconcious New Jack. He drops the knife, rolling out of the ring and once again heading backstage... New Jack laying motionless and bloody on the mat.
Fade to a Video Package for Team Ireland
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Post by respectmeordye3 on Jun 13, 2006 10:07:06 GMT -5
The American Bodydonna : Lars Cunningham theme blasts through the speakers as he makes his way to the ring followed closely by Mitchell Brell. Climbing into the ring he grabs a mic and begins to speak. “I am extending my Two million dollar challenge to four wrestlers here tonight—if you can beat me in a match here tonight, I will pay you two million bucks—so let’s see who my four victims for tonight will be-gentlemen come on dowwwwnnnnnn!”
MATCH 1 Generic music plays and the first guy runs down the ramp and slides into the ring head first. He’s obviously in his early twenties, he has toothpaste green colored tight leather trunks, and has his bright blonde hair done up in a Duck’s Ass hairdo. He is introduced as Ebenezer Jones.
The bell rings.
Without warning Lars suddenly lashes out and punches EJ in the throat with full force sending the young man to the mat gasping for air. Lars pulls him to his feet and gives him a headbutt to the face, knocking EJ down to the mat yet again and knocking him out as well. Lars goes for the pin.
1… 2… 3!
Lars has won!
MATCH 2 The generic music starts up again as the next challenger makes his way out to the ring—this time it’s a Ben Franklin impersonator who just happens to be named Ben Franklin. He climbs into the ring.
The bell rings.
Frankling rushes at Lars but the American Bodydonna easily sidesteps it and counters with a chop to the back of the neck knocking the phoney Franklin down and out!
Lars pins him.
1…. 2…. 3!
Lars wins again!
MATCH 3 The generic music blasts through the speakers yet again as Gargamel Von Warner storms down to the ring—although a bit slower than the last two because of the chainmail singlet he wears that features a red demonic symbol on the chest.The bell rings and the two men circle each other and then Gargamel runs back and bounces off the ropes and towards Lars in an attempt to run him over at a high speed—At the last minute however Lars lashes his foot out like he’s doing the kickoff to start the big football game. And he catches Gargamel right under the chin causing the german grappler to literally do a one-eighty in midair and come crashing down face first!
Lars flips the opponent over and pins him.
1…. 2…. 3!
Lars has won yet another match!
The generic music starts up a fourth time and a small luchador in black leather tights and a hard plastic skull mask runs down to the ring.
The fans start chanting his name, “Skull-A-Gore, Skull-A-Gore , Skull-A-Gore , Skull-A-Gore!”
The bell rings.
Lars attacks Skull-A-Gore----or at least he tries to. Much to Lars shock and surprise Skull-A-Gore takes Lars down rather easily—in fact he dominates him almost the whole time—Lars is barely able to get in any kind of defense OR offense as Skull-A-Gore completely takes him apart, piece by piece much to the crowd’s delight!
Suddenly Mitchell jumps up onto the ringside and the referee becomes distracted as he tries to shoo Mitchell away.
That’s all the time Lars needs. He pulls a pair of brass knux outta his trunks and waits as Skull-A—Gore comes over to finish him off.
Skull-A-Gore bends over to pull his opponent to his feet and---WHAPPP!
Skull-A-Gore gets cracked right in the face and knocked completely for a loop!
Lars throws the weapon away and outtasight and then pins his opponent. Mitchell finally gets off the ringside and backs off allowing the referee to turn his attention back to the match—he sees Lars pinning Skull-A-Gore and…. 1…. 2…. 3!
Lars has won all four matches!
He grabs the mic and begins to brag about his victories but before he can get his sentence finished the Toomi-Tron comes alive with Wilson Webb on the screen.
“Congrats on your victories Lars” he says “but I have something a little more important to adress for now and that is—“
“Oh I KNOW what it is Willy” Lars interrupts “Your still upset over the fact that I used a steel chair to attain my victory even though I promised aclean honest match, right—well I got news for you kiddo Since the referee didn’t see it it did not count—that’s what grown-up’s call a technicality!” Lars laughs.
Wilson smirks.
“Actually Lars that wasn’t what I was going to say—What I was gonna say was that as dangerous a weapon as that steel chair was—it ain’t nearly as dangerous a weapon as this!”
Wilson holds up a car key causing Larsand Mitchell to burst out laughing harder than before.
“I see you don’t believe me Lars—how would you like a little demonstration?”
Lars wipes tears of laughter from his eyes “S-sure let’s s-s-see the b-big bad k-key do do it’s th-thing!” he cracks before he and Mitchell fall back hysterical fits.
Wilson holds the key up and walks over to Lars brand new Porsche and then as Lars looks on in shock and awe, Wilson keys the car from the tail light and all the way around the car until he’s reached where he started!
The ToomiTron flickers off and Lars screams as he rushes backstage to prevent anymore damage to his new ride but by the time he’s reached his car Wilson is gone and the damage has been done!
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