Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,410
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Jun 13, 2006 16:25:08 GMT -5
Kimona Wanalaya is walking in the back, still clutching the arm that Vivian Anemone broke. Suddenly.... Chad Michaels: Are you alright?? Kimona: .....Do I look alright??? I had my arm broken, you *(#^_#! Chad: Whoa whoa, take it easy. I just wanted to see if you were getting any better, that's all. Kimona: Oh, well, it's gotten better. The doctor said that it was broken, so I'm spending time healing it. Chad: That's great. Hey, do you want to go to a club? Kimona: Sure, sounds cool. Chad: Alright, I'll ju---- Suddenly, a young woman pops up out of nowhere. She's about 5"8, with brown hair and immediantly runs up to Chad. : Oh my God!!! CHAD!!! Chad: Whuh? : Chad! It's me, Melissa! Chad: *thinking to himself* S***! *normal* Melissa! It's great to see you again!! Melissa: Yeah. Hey, why did you leave before I woke up? Kimona: What?! That's what you do?! Chad: No! *turns to Melissa* I left because I had a match to prepare for against Roadkill. Kimona: Amish Roadkill? Chad: Yeah, that's the guy. Melissa: Oh. Well, you could have left a note. Chad: Yeah, I could've. Sorry about that. Hey, want to go to a club tomorrow? Melissa: Sure, that sounds like fun. Chad: Alright, I'll pick you up at eight. Melissa: See you then!! *As Melissa leaves, Chad turns back to Kimona. Chad: So um....are we still on for the club??? Kimona: Yeah, I guess. *As Kimona and Chad are set to leave, Melissa comes back. Melissa: Oh, and I think I accidentaly left my panties in your house, I'll just get them later. Bye!! *As Melissa leaves for real, Kimona turns to Chad. Chad: Don't ask.
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Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on Jun 13, 2006 20:58:42 GMT -5
"The Reflex" by Duran Duran hits, and You Gene runs out, wearing a referee shirt, and begins jumping around, cheering for himself. The crowd cheers along, because hey, it's fun.
It's all about the Pentiums, baby...
Joel and Mike dance their way out to the Weird Al, Keiko close behind. Tough they appear to be their care free selves, both Nyrds mask their determination with their facade of happy dancing.
"If You're Happy and You Know It" plays, and Sal and Hal hop out, and Dr. Vivian Anemone, mic in hand, follows them out.
Dr. Vivian: Hello Boys and Girls, are you ready to get happy!
The crowd gives their usual "What the f***?" reaction.
Dr. Vivian: I said, are you ready to get happy?
As she goes on about being happy, Hal and Sal further approach the ring.
Dr. Vivian: Now, Mike, Joel, I tried to make you two happy! But you didn't get happy! And when you're not happy, we're not happy! And you wouldn't like us when we're not...
Joel and Mike sail over the top rope and crash into the whole group. Mike and Joel then begin to trade punches with Hal and Sal. Of course, with Hal and Sal being bigger and more experienced at brawling with the two, they begin to catch up. And then they fully take over. Hal and Sal toss Joel and Mike over the top ropes, and climb in. You Gene calls for the bell, and this match is underway. Sal sends Joel into the ropes, but Joel hops up to the second rope, and flies backwards with a flying elbow. Sal goes down as Joel spins away, and Joel follows up with a standing double stomp. Mike suddenly lands a springboard legdrop, and hooks Sal's leg, and You Gene begins a s-l-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-w count. Sal kicks out at one. Hal picks Joel up and scoop slams him to the mat, as Sal gets up and clotheslines Mike.
Hal runs off the ropes and hits a running splash, and You Gene, once again with a s-l-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-w count, gets to one before Joel gets a shoulder up. Mike grabs Hal by the left leg, and flips over it, driving it into the mat on his way down. Joel hits a diving knee drop onto the leg, and both hit opposite ends of the ropes, and hit a double basement drop kick to the leg again. Sal gets up, and hits a belly to back suplex on Mike, and clotheslines Joel. Sal helps Hal up, who has a noticable limp, and they both pick Mike up. They whip him to the ropes, with Sal running behind him. Sal clotheslines Mike over the ropes, but instead of falling to the mats, Mike lands on the apron. As Mike gets to his feet, he manages to duck a huge swinging clothesline from Sal. Mike kicks back and catches Sal in the rib. Mike then hits Sal with an inverted Tiger Feint (it's like a 619 from the apron), sending him to his back.
Hal has Joel up with a powerbomb, his leg quivering from the beating it took. Mike comes off the top with a springboard dropkick to the back of Hal's head, who stumbles forward, and allows Joel to hurricanrana him back down to the mat. Mike whips Joel to the ropes, who bounces off, and as he comes back, Mike lifts him into the air, and Joel comes crashing down onto Hal's leg with a senton. Mike follows up with a Lionsault on the same leg. Sal comes to the rescue via a double bull dog, and again he helps Hal up. They position Joel near a turnbuckle, and Sal ascends the top rope, as Hal holds Joel in place. Sal comes off with a Smiley Splash, and hooks the leg for a two count, as the time keeper had given You Gene some tips on counting. Mike broke up the count.
Mike stomps on Hal's leg, and helps Joel up. They both pick Sal up, whip him to the ropes, and Joel gets down on all fours. Mike jumps onto Joel, and hits a dropsault onto Sal as he comes back. Mike uses this force to propel himself backward and hit a moonsault onto Hal, whom he covers for a one...two...BLATANT interference by Dr. Vivian, as she pulls poor You Gene out of the ring by the leg, and gives him a McDonalds like toy. What Dr. Vivian doesn't know is that Keiko is on the apron. As You Gene rolls back into the ring, accompanied by a new toy, Keiko runs and hits a Shooting Star Press off the apron onto Dr. Vivian, and they go at it. Security members come out and pull them apart, and actually pull them backstage.
Inside the ring, Joel is on the mat, and Sal has Mike in the air with a Gorilla Press. Sal let's Mike fall onto Hal's knee, which Hal immediately regrets, as it's his bad leg. Hal rolls around in agony over his leg, as Joel gets himself up. Sal tends to Hal, and then turns around to TOTAL ELIMANATION! Both Nyrds pick a respective Squad member, and pull them to opposite turnbuckles, Joel with Hal and Mike with Sal. Both Nyrds ascend said turnbuckles, and signal something big. Joel hits a Nintendo Star Press (we'll call it an unofficial move) as Mike, not wanting to be outdone, hits a Chrono Trigger (a shooting star legdrop, much like Jason Cross's Crossfire), on the Squad, and hook the legs for the pins. You Gene gets down between the middle of them, and slaps the mat with both hands; 1
2
3!
The Nyrds have defeated the Sunshine Squad! Keiko runs back out and hugs on both Nyrds. Dr. Vivian comes back out, and looks on the verge of a frown...but instead, she smiles. She smiles worse than she's ever smiled before, as we're taken to a break.
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Post by Ronnie L. Cordova on Jun 14, 2006 3:21:52 GMT -5
(We return to ringside as Beulah McGillicutty is already in the ring warming up for her next match, against Rachael Leigh Cook. “What You Waitin’ For?” by Gwen Stefani hits and RLC emerges from the curtain, to a warm reception from the crowd. RLC high-fives members of the crowd on her way to the ring. Both women seem excited to get this match started.)
Lillian: Making her way to the ring, From Brooklyn Park, MN… Rachael Leigh Cook!
(Bell rings)
Beulah rushes over to RLC and immediately puts a beat down on her, hitting RLC with several right hand shots to her back and neck. RLC manages to sweep Beulah’s legs from under her. Beulah falls to the mat, and RLC leaps on her for a pin, but Beulah kicks out before 1. RLC stands in a ready position, waiting for Beulah to stand. Beulah gets to her feet, and RLC goes for a high kick to Beulah’s head, but Beulah grabs RLC’s leg and hits a quick leg drag. Beulah picks RLC up and into a front facelock, and looks to hit a DDT, but RLC counters and hits a backdrop. RLC goes to the top rope, and hits a legdrop on Beulah. RLC goes for the cover.
1!
2!
Beulah is able to kick out. RLC goes to the top rope once again, but Beulah gets to her feet. Beulah runs over and tosses RLC off of the turnbuckle and into the ring. RLC grabs her back in pain. Beulah with the cover.
1!
2!
RLC kicks out. Beulah picks RLC up and tosses her into the ropes. RLC comes back and ducks a clothesline attempt by Beulah. RLC comes back, and they both hit each other with a clothesline! Both women are down on the mat! The ref starts the 10-count.
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
7!
8!
Beulah is the first to her feet. Suddenly, Mark Henry rushes towards the ring. Mark Henry slides in. Beulah actually confronts him, and attempts to slap him, but Henry grabs her by the wrist and hits a shortarm lariat! The ref calls for the bell!
Lillian: Your winner by Disqualification, Beulah McGillicutty!
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Spyke the Pacers Fan
El Dandy
Still hates himself for missing the last episode of Murder She Wrote
Go Indiana!
Posts: 8,061
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Post by Spyke the Pacers Fan on Jun 14, 2006 3:24:18 GMT -5
(The attack on Beulah by Mark Henry is met with heavy boos from the crowd. The music of Tommy Dreamer hits, and Dreamer rushes the ring! Mark Henry rolls out of the ring, before Dreamer can get to him. Dreamer kneels down to check on Beulah. Mark Henry sneaks back into the ring, and hits Dreamer in the head with a running knee shot. RLC gets to her feet and attempts to slap Henry in the face, but he blocks it and grabs RLC by the hair. “Galvanize” by Chemical Brothers hits and Spyke Johannson flies out from the back on a 4-wheeler! Spyke drives full blast to the ring, drawing massive cheers from the crowd. Henry drops RLC, and walks over to the ropes. Spyke gets up from the ATV, and uses it as a platform and leaps from it, into the ring, and hits Henry with a forearm shot, which causes Henry to stumble backwards a bit. Spyke kicks Henry in the gut, and hits a SwedeDT! Henry crashes to the mat. Spyke asks Lillian for her mic.)
Spyke: I said that everyone here tonight would see a different side of Spyke Johannson. Well, (smirks) you’re about to see it!
(Spyke exits the ring and walks over to the ATV. Spyke unstraps a large duffel bag from the ATV and tosses it into the ring. Spyke opens the bag, and pulls out a kendo stick! The crowd erupts in cheers as Spyke launches an unrelentless attack on Mark Henry, hitting him over and over! Tommy Dreamer, Beulah, and RLC all watch in surprise as Spyke continues the attack. Spyke looks over at RLC, then at Dreamer and Beulah. Spyke walks over to the bag and pulls out more kendo sticks. Spyke tosses a kendo stick to each person. RLC, Dreamer, and Beulah, all look at each other, then shrug their shoulders, and all 4 of them begin to beat the hell out of Mark Henry! After a few moments, the 4 of them stop and Spyke gets back on the mic.)
Spyke (addressing crowd): I bet you guys didn’t have it in me did you? After I saw that I was matched up against Mark Henry, when everyone else was matched up against ECW guys I thought: “Does Toomi doubt me? Does Toomi doubt that I posses the hardcore ability to hang with an ECW wrestler? (yelling) Well, who are you to doubt Spyke Johannson?! I can be hardcore! I can be whatever I believe I can be! I can be both technical AND hardcore! (calmer) Then a time will come, where there will be a match. And when that time comes, and the dust settles, and all is said and done, I will be in the middle of that ring, bloody, bruised, sent through hell and back, but I will be… the EWT Toolshed Champion! (crowd pops) And I will bring honor and prestige to that belt, which is considered here “the low level belt.” But when I have that belt, it will be held in high regard. A belt that everyone will want! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a match to finish.
Spyke asks for the others to clear the ring. Spyke tells the timekeeper to ring the bell.
(bell rings)
Spyke picks and obviously out of it Mark Henry up off of the mat and hits another SwedeDT! Spyke rolls out of the ring and pulls a table from under the ring. Spyke slides the table into the ring, and sets it up. Spyke, with an assist from Dreamer, sets up Mark Henry on the turnbuckle, in a seated position, and facing the crowd. Spyke then reaches into the duffel bag and pulls out a can of lighter fluid! The crowd showers Spyke with cheers, as Spyke douses the table with the fluid, and sets it ablaze! Dreamer and Spyke toss Henry from the top rope through the flaming table! Spyke pins Henry, with part of the table still on fire!
1!
2!
3!
Lillian: Your winner, Spyke Johannson!
(A ringside attendant quickly extinguishes the lingering flames, including Spyke shirt, which now has a hole burnt in the front of it. Spyke has his hand raised in victory. Spyke climbs into the audience and celebrates with the crowd and gets a whole section to dance with him. Spyke gives his slightly burnt shirt to a lucky fan nearby. A few members of the crowd hold Spyke up on their shoulders. This, and the sound of the crowd chanting, “SPYKE’S HARDCORE! SPYKE’S HARDCORE!” is what we see and hear as we fade to commercial.)
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Post by Banned Member on Jun 14, 2006 10:33:49 GMT -5
*Mick Foley i s standing in the ring where during the TV ad break he went on a rant on how EWT fans were the best, and doing his cheap pop stuff, and how great the EWT wrestlers are.*
Foley: Now as you can see I'm in my wrestling gear here tonight folks. Thats cause I'm calling out your own Mercenary!! He thinks he is hardcore! I was thrown off a damn cell!!!! Merc is nothing, but a piece of dog crap, and I wan......
*King of Kings hit, and out walks Merc only he is dressed in a black tank top, blue jeans, a long black leather coat, and a white cowboy hat. Merc steps off to the side, and Jillian walks out wearing the same outfit except she is wearing a short denim skirt. Merc, and Jillian walk down the ramp, and Merc holds open the ropes for Jillian. Jillian walks over to Mick, and snatches the mic from him, and hands it to Merc.*
Merc: So I'm dog crap huh?
*Foley nods his head yes*
Merc: This coming from a man who shoves his hand down his pants, and pulls out a sock. This coming from a man that calls himself a muppet, and cuddly?
*Mick has grabbed another mic.*
MF: Thats right, but I'm also the most hardcore wrestle....
Merc: Your a sell out!!!! Have you ever been beaten to a pulp by JZ? No thats right you haven't. You only fight those old dinosaurs Funk, and Flair. You see Mick I fought JZ at his prime, and I have had a hell of a battle against Ratings this past week, and you think your hardcore!!!
Mick: Ya thats right cause we all know your obsessed with Trish, and that your head is in two separate places!!!
*Jillian Grabs the mic from Merc.*
JH: Oh that obsession is long gone. You see Mick I gave Merc a special treatment the other night to forget about Trish altogether, and well lets say that Merc has changed.
MF: Oh, and hows that he calls you Trish now?
*Jillian slaps Mick across the face, and Mick glares at he, and starts to go chase her, but Merc steps in between, and clotheslines Foley down. Foley gets up, and hits Merc with a right hand, and another, and Merc comes back with some rights of his own. Foley quickly kicks Merc low, and Merc falls to the apron doubled over. Foley drags Merc over to the corner, and than backs up, and hits him with a running knee. Merc rolls out of the ring only for Foley to follow. Foley grabs Merc, and sets him up on the announcer's table. Foley than climbs on the edge of the ring apron, and runs, and flies though the air, but at the last sec Jillian pulls Merc off the table, and Foley goes crashing though the table, and as both wrestlers lay there a huge EWT chant starts up. Merc slowly gets up, and goes over to Foley, and picks him up, and rolls him side. Merc rolls in right behind him, and sets Foley up in the corner. Merc lifts Foley up, and attempts the Mercenary drop, but Foley blocks it. Merc tries it again, but again Foley blocks it. Merc than knees Foley in the balls, and hits the Mercenary drop. Merc goes for the cover, but at 2 and a half Merc pulls Mick up by the hair, and shakes his head no. Merc rolls out the ring, and yells at Jillian to get a chair. While Jillian is grabbing a chair Merc grabs a table, and throws it into the ring. Merc gets back into ring, and sets up the table, and than takes the chair from Jillian, and hits Foley in the head with it several times, and busts him open, and sets the chair on the table. Merc than drags Foley over to the corner again, and sets Foley up, and delivers a round up to Foley though the table. Merc covers, and gets an easy three, and as the fans are cheering, and chanting EWT. The EMT's rush to get Foley out of the ring. Merc asks for the mic.*
Merc: You see Foley, and Ratings The Mercenary is dead, and so is The Outlaw. They are now combined, and we are now known as Merc The Outlaw. You see together we are stronger, and more violent than any EWT wrestler before us, and after us, and as soon as we kick the s*** out of Ratings in the Hell in a Cell. We are coming for that Tool-shed title or any damn title we please! So just try, and stop us!!!
*The 4 horsemen theme plays, and Merc the Outlaw picks up Jillian, and lets out a big ye haw, and carries her off to the back as the scene fades to black.*
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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on Jun 14, 2006 10:48:49 GMT -5
<"Miss" Jackie Geisha stands in the back, as Sum Guy walks up with a Cameraman...>
Voice off Screen: <Angry growl>
Geisha: No, no Penwin... it otay.
<Penguin backs down, and allows Sum Guy towards Geisha>
<Sum Guy sets up, the camera man counts down from 3...>
SG: Hi, I'm Sum Guy and I need a change of pants! <Geisha looks at him weird, and Penguin smirks> I'm here with GND Competitor Jackie Geisha... Miss Geisha, You were screwed out of your title shot at Kingdom of Hurt, by D'Zee in your semi-final match.... your thoughts?
Geisha: It troo. It weally weally twoo. Evewy week, I hea' Deezee talk about de "baddest wimon". You LIE! You nutin, but arrogagant serf-cennered bish!
Penguin: <Perfect English?> Roll it.
<A video shows>
D'ZEE: Speaking of robbed, I was also the victim of an assault by some happy go lucky skank! Dr. Vivian Anemone I don't care if you think the sun shines everyday! ... Mess with my biz'ness and you'll soon find that the clouds are going to cover up your sunny days and bust your teeth back to California!!
<Video ends>
Geisha: Seems we hav' lot een commen. Essept I was beat by a gweedy giwl, who canna beat me fairly. Open Chanallenenege, to you Deezee. Name da place, and yoo got it.
<Geisha and Penguin walk away and Sum Guy looks at the camera...>
SG: ...What?!
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Post by Gasoline: Gen. Tech Member on Jun 14, 2006 11:10:37 GMT -5
*We cut to backstage where Limey is in the Generation Tech dressing room. Gasoline enter the picture*
Gas: Hey, you ready?
Limey: As ready as I'll ever be.
Gas: You sure?
Limey: Yeah. We beat 'em once, we can do it again.
Gas: True, but they're not ones to take lightly. Moxie DID beat you in singles action.
Limey: True, but I've beat him before as well. Still, they won't go down without a fight.
Gas: And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Limey: Me neither. *looks at a watch* It's almost time. Let's go.
*Limey and Gas head off as we cut to the next segment*
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Post by HMARK Center on Jun 14, 2006 14:26:16 GMT -5
Bobby Cruise: The following tag team matchup is scheduled for one fall, with a 30 minute time limit!
<The PA system comes alive with Moxie’s theme, “La Liberacion of Our Awakening”>
BC: Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 430 pounds, HitmanMark and Moxie, the Prophecy Reborn!
<The two men appeal to the loud crowd as they slowly make their ways to the ring. Both have determined looks on their faces, as they know the implications this match will have on the rankings in the tag division.>
PA system: REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!
<The crowd stays just as loud as “Personal Jesus” blasts out, and Generation Tech appears>
BC: Their opponents, representing Generation Tech, first, from Buffalo, New York, Gasoline! His partner, from Liverpool, England, Limey!
<GenTech makes their way in, and the two teams stare at each other across the ring>
Dave Prazak: <on commentary> A match with BIG implications on the tag division, Lenny Leonard!
Lenny Leonard: That’s absolutely right, DP, two of the top teams going, and, really, two groups that seem to be crossing each other’s paths quite a bit lately.
DP: That’s definitely true; while both teams might have their eyes on the prize, so to speak, the EWT tag titles and the HBMS, there may be some seeds for a rivalry here between GenTech, arguably the dominant force in EWT right now, and the Prophecy Reborn.
LL: We’ve recently seen these two exact teams cross paths in that Four Corner #1 contender’s match awhile back, where GenTech was victorious, as well as in singles competition, with Moxie getting a win back against his old championship rival, Limey. And don’t forget HMark’s repeated words for EWT World Champion, Spaz, also a GenTech member…you have to wonder if that situation might end up boiling over at some point in the near future.
DP: But for now, the focus for both teams is clearly on the tag team titles. This one should be a wild affair between two of the most well rounded, technically sound, and flat-out exciting teams in the EWT.
<The two teams meet in the center, with GenTech extending their hands. The PR look at the hands, and, still looking determined, simply slap them in a quasi-handshake. The bell rings, and we’re off>
<Limey makes his case to Gas for him to start, while Moxie decides to leadoff for the PR. The two old rivals circle one another and go for a lockup; they’re so familiar with each other, though, that they immediately launch into a rapid-fire series of reversals, with each man trying to get the advantage on the mat. Limey tries to go behind, but Moxie blocks him, and tries to do the same, before Limey drops down to the mat, taking Mox with him in an armdrag…but Moxie lands on his feet! Both men try to exchange punches, but each blocks the other; they both charge for lariats, but both duck upon seeing the other; they finally both try for a dropkick at the same time…and we’ve got a stalemate! HMark and Gas are both seen applauding from the ring apron>
<Limey decides to tag in the big man, and Gas dramatically steps over the top rope to come in. Mox sizes him up, and begins to slowly move around him, not wanting to charge the much larger man right away. Gas isn’t taking the bait, though, and hangs back, leaning against the ropes, saying “Take your sweet time!” Mox gets a bit peeved, but still approaches cautiously.>
<Mox finally charges, and immediately goes for Gas’s leg. Gas fights him off, but Mox fights back, trying once again to rush his lower limbs. Gas begins to get a bit defensive, which forces him back to the PR’s corner, allowing Mox to tag in HMark. HMark immediately lets lose with some LOUD knife edge chops in the corner, while throwing some knees to Gas’s stomach, trying to bring the larger man down to his height. Mox gets in a couple shots before leaving the ring, as well.>
<HMark drop toeholds Gas, and, instead of his legs, instead begins to focus on the back. Gas is too big for HMark to put him in some kind of ungodly stretch, but the smaller man opts for a simple surfboard, planting one foot into Gas’s back, while pulling back on his arms while the big man lies on the mat. Gas lets out a yell of pain, but his long legs get into the ropes pretty quickly. HMark, undeterred, just jumps up and stomps Gas’s back, before dropping down and driving knee strikes into it. Limey stands on the outside, getting more impatient by the second, and desperately wanting into the match. He goes and tags Moxie, who gauges, leaps over the top rope, and spirals in midair, hitting a twisting plancha right onto Gas’s back. The big man is in trouble, but he slowly starts getting to his feet. Mox attempts to slow him down with forearms, but Gas pushes him away. Mox tries again, and again gets pushed away. He tries AGAIN, but this time goes straight in with a kick to the face of the kneeling big man! Gas falls back into the ropes, and Mox, with a burst of inspirations, runs, leaps through the ropes, and hits a variation of a 619 onto Gas’s back! Mox scurries back in and tries a cover, but only gets 2.>
<Mox tags in HMark, and the two have an idea. HMark goes for the legs, while Moxie grabs the chin, and they slap on a Boston Crab/Camel Clutch combo on the seven footer! It’s only broken up when, out of the blue, Limey leaps into the frame…in mid air! Limey springboards off the ropes and NAILS a springboard dropkick, right into Moxie’s face! Mox reels and rolls outside the ring, while the ref tries to get Limey back to his corner. HMark allows himself to be distracted, which allows Gas the time to get up, wait for him to turn around, and scoop HMark up in a vicious side slam! Gas quickly tries a cover, gets 2, and immediately rolls over to tag in the fresh Limey.>
<By this point, HMark has rolled backwards (like a backwards somersault), nipped to his feet, and now stares Limey straight in the eye. The crowd gets a little louder, as a matchup that’s been very rarely seen in an EWT ring is now standing right in front of them. The two lockup, and HMark pushes Limey to the corner, where he starts scraping his forearm against Limey’s face; Limey, not taking too kindly to this, reverses, and begins nailing open-hand strikes to HMark’s chest, the sound echoing in the arena! HMark reverses this, and starts going for a series of chops, but Limey reverses out of THAT, and tries for some kicks in the corner. HMark has enough, charges, but twists around and pulls the former champ in for a small package! Two count! Limey gets to his feet, the two run towards one another, and they begin circling as they nearly collide, both trying to get the dominant position…which Limey wins out, allowing him to slap on an abdominal stretch!>
<Limey rears back, while both Gas and Mox are dazed on the outside. HMark is still fresh enough to fight through it, though, and manages to hiptoss Limey…who lands on his feet! Limey charges again, but HMark catches him, twists him, and manages to get Limey and himself back to back, while hooking Limey’s arms with his own! HMark leans forward, forcing Limey’s feet off the mat…which allows HMark to interlock Limey’s legs around his own, and reach up, wrapping his hands around Limey’s chin, pulling him down in a sort of Gory Special submission! The crowd pops for the move, but HMark turns around and almost immediately eats a Yakuza Kick from Gasoline! Both Limey and HMark are down as the ref begins the 10 count.>
<Both men go slowly to their corners, but you know the drill. Mox and Gas are in, and Mox charges and leaps in the air, hoping to take the big man down…but Gas catches him! Gas holds Moxie with one arm, swings him around, and brings him down in a vicious backbreaker! Cover!>
1!
2!
<Kickout! Gas brings his thumb across his throat, and calls for Limey! Gas makes the tag, Limey climbs the turnbuckle, and Gas Irish Whips Moxie to the ropes, and PLANTS him with a devastating spinebuster…just as Limey comes off the top with a high flying moonsault! The crowd pops, and counts along with Limey’s pin!>
1!
2!
<SAVE by HMark! HMark begins throwing down on Limey, as the ref starts allowing the rules to go a little lax. Gas gets back in the ring, but Moxie, who’s still dazed, runs the ropes behind him, and nails a basement/shotgun dropkick to his back, sending the gas powered monster to the outside! Moxie still moves slowly, gripping his back from the spinebuster, but HMark looks around, doesn’t see Gas, and calls out to Moxie>
HM: NECRONOMICON!
<The crowd pops big for the “Game Over” finisher! HMark lifts Limey up, setting him up for it, his back turned to the turnbuckle, as Moxie slowly climbs to the top!>
Moxie: <yelling> Klatu!
HMark: Verata!
Moxie: Nekt-!
<Moxie is cut short as Gas pops up, and throws him from the top turnbuckle to the outside, causing him to crash onto the guardrail! HMark doesn’t see it, but quickly turns around, drops Limey, and heads for the outside to check on his partner. Mox waves him away, saying he’s alright, while, in the ring, Gas is lifting Limey onto his shoulders. Gas heads towards the ropes, hefts Limey up, and Limey twists in midair, going all the way to the floor to nail the PR with a Gas-assisted plancha! HMark takes the brunt of it, as Mox tries to stagger to his feet. The crowd is getting red hot, and Gas looks like HE wants to dive! The big man signals for it, charges the ropes…and gets met by a leaping kick to the face from Moxie!>
DP: What a battle of attrition we have here! EWT officials better be taking notice, because if this doesn’t earn someone a title shot, I have NO idea what does!
<Mox rolls into the ring, goes for a cover!>
1!
2!
<NO! Gas is still in it! HMark and Limey are both slowly making their ways back into the ring, and it seems like nobody’s sure what to do, and what could put the other team away for good. Soon enough, it breaks down; forearms are flying, fists going wild, kicks, you name it! HMark manages to knock Limey into the ropes, where he falls to his knees, chest first onto the second rope; HMark leaps to the apron, rushes forward, and nails a sick shotgun dropkick to Limey’s noggin! The crowd gives an “OOOOH!” to this as Limey falls to the mat!>
<Gas has hit boot up in Moxie’s throat in the corner, unaware that the numbers just got stacked against him! HMark leaps up, nailing a flying forearm to Gas’s back, sending the big man reeling. Gas teeters in the middle of the ring, dazed, as HMark and Moxie go running in opposite directions; when they come back, HMark hits a leg sweep, while Moxie leaps and hits a spinning heel kick! Gas goes down, and Mox covers!>
1!
2!
<Limey’s up for the save! Limey begins to unload on both PR members; as Moxie staggers back, Limey halves him with a SICK spear! Moxie’s down, and Limey points to HMark, signaling to the crowd.>
Limey: TWIST O’ LIME!
<Limey goes for his patented finisher, getting HMark into the air…HMARK ESCAPES! HMark turns Limey around, kick to the gut…GOLDEN GATE SWING! Moxie sees Gasoline getting up, using the ropes, his torso over the apron; Moxie leaps to the top rope, and comes down with a double stomp to Gas’s worked over back! The crowd goes red hot, sensing the finish!>
<HMark drags Gas to the center of the ring, goes to the ropes…DOUBLE JUMP MOONSAULT! Without hesitation, he drags the big man to the corner opposite the one he used, where Moxie stands waiting…450 SPLASH! Limey is stirring, and HMark immediately leaps on top of him to hold him down as Moxie goes for the cover!>
1!
2!
3!
<The crowd gives a big pop for the finish, as the ref raises Moxie’s hand in the air!>
BC: The winners of this bout, The Prophecy Reborn!
<HMark helps Moxie to his feet, and the two high five before giving the PR sign. The appeal to the crowd as Limey checks on Gas. Soon, everyone’s on their feet, the two teams looking each other in the eye. Once more, GenTech offers their hands…and once more, the PR don’t give a full handshake. The crowd gets a little wary, and Limey grabs a mic.>
Limey: Alright, I know the handshakes aren’t you two Yanks’ style, but, I think you and these people would agree, we just put each other through hell, didn’t we?
<The crowd gives a big pop for both teams>
Limey: I know this isn’t the first time we’ve crossed paths, PR. And I’m going to make sure it isn’t the last. See, when Gas and I won the #1 Contendership for the EWT Tag Titles, and had a shot to wipe those insipid grins off the faces of those two muppets, the HBMS, you two put out a request…or more of a challenge. You said that, should we win, you boys wanted to be first in line for a title shot.
Well, we agreed to that; you two had earned it. But while this may not be a #1 Contender’s match…I get the feeling this should give you guys what you’ve been after for awhile now. And should you manage to get your mits on the gold, remember, it’s always the proper thing to return a favor.
<HMark asks for another mic, and looks Limey in the eye>
HM: So, you turning the tables on us?
<Limey and Gas just nod confidently>
HM: <smiles> Fair is fair. We’ll be seeing you boys down the line. THAT’S something I can shake on.
<The four men shake on it, making it a deal. GenTech begins to leave, slapping hands with fans along the way, as HMark continues:>
HM: I’ve been saying it ever since the Prophecy Reborn made it’s return; we WILL ascend to the very top of this division, and gain the prize that eluded us during our initial run, tag team gold. We’ve made our case, and tonight just further solidifies our position. But, you know, something came to my attention recently.
Mox: <taking the mic> I don’t know about you, but I thought I saw a little, hmm…”show” about us the other day, right here on the ToomiTron. Were my eyes deceiving me, partner?
HM: Indeed not. I assume you all know what we’re referring to. Well, I said this before, as well: if EWT officials won’t take care of business for us, then it’s time the PR and the Fallen Legion took matters into it’s own hands. Mox, you ever been on a television set before?
Mox: I’d love a tour, if you’re offering.
HM: <chuckling> Time to spread the Gospel.
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Post by teamireland on Jun 14, 2006 16:29:10 GMT -5
*The Nyrds & Keiko are sitting in an Irish-themed pub with the members of Team Ireland. Most of Team Ireland are clearly drunk already. The Nyrds obviously feel very awkward being in this environment. The music of The Pogues can be heard in the background.*
Liam O'Neill: I'll be honest wit'cha, I didn't think you guys were goin' ta get along da' well wid' us, but youse are alright.
*Coach O'Hare, Shane Malon & Aidan Donnelly arrive at the table bringing 8 pints of Guinness with them.*
O'Hare: (to Mike & Joel) Come on, lads. Get those down your necks!
Joel: Well, um, we appreciate you taking us out & all.. Mike: And it's nice that you want to help us celebrate our victory over the Sunshine Squad, but...
Joel & Mike together: We don't really drink alcohol.
*Team Ireland are shocked. They immediately stop drinking their pints. Sean McCann gets up from his seat & attempts to lunge at The Nyrds but falls & injures his leg again.*
O'Hare: So, you're refusing our generous offer? We invite you out here, we want to celebrate our first EWT win with you two, Noel & Spike...
Mike: Actually, it's...
*O'Hare continues ranting.*
O'Hare:... and you refuse us? You refuse the hand of friendship we offer?
Joel: Look, we'd gladly drink if you offered us some Jolt Cola. Mike: Whoa! We don't wanna go too crazy here!
O'Hare: Cola? Look. we're in an Irish bar, we're trying to establish a friendship in a traditional Irish manner & you guys are just acting like complete Arses! Get out!
Mike: Look, we don't want any trouble, we'll try to drink this stuff. it kinda looks like cola...
*Keiko grabs him by the wrist stopping him from bringing the pint to his lips. She then lambasts Team Ireland & Coach O'Hare in particular with a series of Japanes obscenities.*
O'Hare: OUT! ALL OF YOU! OUT, OUT, OUT!
Keiko: Glad-lee!
*Keiko & The Nyrds get up to depart* Joel: "Out, out out"? Who does he think he is? Larry Zybysko?
*After Keiko & The Nyrds have left*
Aidan Donnelly: Look, Coach, don't worry about them. They're just a pair of losers. Soon enough they'll learn that You'll Never Beat the Irish!
Sean McCann: (Lying on the floor) Why hasn't anyone helped me?
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Post by Teddy Awesome- Back in Style on Jun 14, 2006 17:18:08 GMT -5
*”Loser” by Beck plays as Mikey Whipwreck comes out to a smooth pop.*
Fink: Ladies and Gentle, this match is schedualed for ONE fall. Making his way to the ring, from Buffalo, New York, and weighting in at 187 pounds… MIKEY WHIPWRECK!
*Mikey wanders around the ring, waiting for his opponent intently... as “Alone” by Zebrahead blares across the arena.*
Fink: And his opponent, from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. Wieghting in at 221 pounds, THEO RUMM!
*Theo appears with a microphone in hand.*
Theo: Thanks, Fink. Now, for those who don’t know who this man is, may I introduce to you a THREE-time ECW tag team champion, and TWO-time ECW Television champion, a ONE time ECW World Heavyweight champion, a man who has trained such wrestlers as Amazing Red and Jay Lethal, a man who was taken under Mick Foley’s wing when he first started in ECW, and the person I face tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, Mikey FREAKIN’ Whipwreck.
*The crowd cheers as Mikey seems confused at the 2nd introduction.*
Theo: Now, Mikey, you’ve built a career on being the underdog, and, as someone who can understand doing that, I must say that I’m very honoured to feel very privileged to face you one on one. But, I see you out there in the ring and you know something? It just doesn’t feel right… no… something’s not right with the picture I see in front of me… but I think just might have the cure for this dilemma, if you give me just a moment…
*Theo walks back into the backstage area, leaving the crowd and Whipwreck confused… until he returns a minute later with a shopping cart that looks like it’s on loan from Raven. What with all the weapons and such.*
Theo: Now! THIS makes the picture look MUCH better! Wouldn’t you say? I mean, hey, what’s a match with Mikey Whipwreck without some weapons, right?
*Theo makes his way down the ring rolling the shopping cart.*
Theo: Now check this out. This is exactly like the 3 components necessary to make fire. We have a prominent ECW wrestler, our oxygen, we have our weapons, the fuel, and we have the spark… the thing that makes the whole thing blow up
*Theo is now face to face with Mikey…*
Theo: … ME!
*Theo drops the mic and lands a straight right on Mikey. The bell rings…*
Mikey and Theo start pummelling on each other until Mikey catches Theo and whips him into the corner. Whipwreck runs over for the stinger splash but is met by nothing but ring post as Theo rolls out onto the apron. Theo jumps up onto the top rope and goes for a crossbody but dropkicked out of the air by Whipwreck. Mikey follows up with several stomps to the back of Theo, after which he rolls out of the ring and head straight towards Theo’s shopping cart and pulls out a stop sign. He gets back into the ring and sets up only to get a superkick to the face by Theo that sends him sprawling. Theo walks over to Mikey and grabs him by the legs, looking to slingshot, but gets plastered in the head by Mikey’s stop sign. He goes for the cover…
1…
Theo rolls Mikey in a pinning predicament!
1…
Mikey rolls Theo back into a pin!
1… 2…
Theo sits up to get out, leaving Mikey in a fall away slam position. Theo flips Mikey into a reverse chancre, armbars around, gives him a straight pump kick to the gut and slams Mikey’s head to the ground with a Rock-esque DDT. Theo rolls off to the other side of the ring and works back up to his feet. He runs towards the fallen Mikey, jumps up and brandishes his elbow… but is met with nothing but canvas as Mikey rolls out of the way to the outside again. Again Mikey goes for the shopping car, retrieveing a garbage can lid, but is met up by the springboard Space Bodysplash by Theo from all the way inside the ring. Both men are down outside as the ref begins to count…
1…2…3…4…5…
Both men are sprawling for the ring, trying to step over each other and get in the ring. Mikey finally grabs Theo’s shirt and rings him into the ringpost and then into the ring itself Mikey goes in to the ring for a pin but is met with a punch by Rumm. Something wasn’t right with that punch, as we soon see Theo with a pair of Brass Knuckles on his hands. He throws the knuckles off into the crowd as he goes to get a better weapon from his shopping cart. After tossing a barricade, some kendo sticks, a garbage can lid a cooking sheet. Theo looks displeased but notices the Mikey is getting up and, for some reason or another decides to run underneath the ring apron… don’t ask me why… I don’t know. Anyways, by this time Mikey has realized that Theo has gone for something in the under the ring but hasn’t come back up yet. Mikey senses a chance to strike and goes to where Theo was last seen. Mike lifts up the apron and gets a face full of fire extinguisher! Theo crawls out from his hiding spot and raises his hands in the air. The audience laughs as Mikey gets up, pissed as ever, and dives at Theo, knocking him into the ringsteps. Mikey starts pounding into Theo with stomp after stomp after stomp. Mikey then rolls in to stop the count-out, rolls back out, takes the cart and throws it at Theo. He then picks up Theo into a powerbomb position, but Theo grabs the ropes before being dropped on his head. Mikey tries again, but Theo wont let go. Finally, Theo rolls Mikey in a hurricanrana and scrambles back into the ring. He rolls into the corner and waits while Mikey tries to get back in.
1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…
Mikey is able to roll himself in, and he is NOT happy. Theo is sprawling on the ground trying to get away, but Mikey catches his shoe and pulls him back. Mikey starts to beat on Theo, but is knocked out by the closest thing Theo could find… a garbage can lid. Mikey is out cold as Theo drags Whipwreck close to the corner and retrieves a cooking sheet, which he take with him to the corner, he climbs up onto the second turnbuckle, jumps up to the top, sits out and lands the split legged moonsault while clutching the cooking sheet to the contact point of both combatant's chests!!!
Theo goes for the cover…
1… 2… 3!
*The bell rings as Alone plays. Theo rolls out of the ring and stumbles out barely on his own power.*
*Fade out to commercial.*
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Queen Rosa
Mike the Goon
All hail the queen!
Posts: 30
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Post by Queen Rosa on Jun 14, 2006 17:36:03 GMT -5
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the EWT Girl Next Door Chanpionship. Introducing first, from New Orleans, Louisiana, JAZZ!
*Jazz walks out to a decent pop, looking focused. She gets in the ring and poses. Then "It's My Time" plays and the fans cheer loudly*
RA: And her opponent, from Miami, Florida, she is the EWT Girl Next Door Champion, QUEEN ROSA!
*Rosa walks out to a huge pop. She hi-fives some fans on her way down the ramp. She gets in the ring and holds the GND title up high*
The bell rings to start the match. Rosa and Jazz shake hands out of respect for each other. They lock up. Jazz applies a headlock and doesn't let up. Rosa is able to get to lift Jazz off her feet for a back drop, but Jazz turns it into a headlock takedown. Rosa goes for a head scissors and locks it in, forcing Jazz to break the headlock. Jazz gets to her feet, but Rosa still has the head scissors locked in and takes her down. The two women have a standoff which the crowd cheers. Rosa nods her head in agreement.
Jazz signals for a test of strength. Rosa accepts, but gets kicked in the stomach. Jazz then nails her with a couple of forearms. She whips Rosa to the ropes and hits her with an elbow. Jazz picks her up and rams her into the corner. She attacks with a few shoulder thrusts. Jazz then runs at her, but Rosa moves out of the way, leaving Jazz's shoulder to hit the ringpost. Rosa takes advantage with 3 rolling German suplexes. Next she climbs the turnbuckle and hits a split-legged moonsault. She goes for the first pin attempt of the match.
1... 2...
Jazz kicks out. Rosa picks her up and performs a snap suplex. She picks Jazz up again and whips her to the ropes, hitting a standing dropkick. Rosa then runs at Jazz, clotheslining her over the top rope to the outside. Rosa steps out onto the apron. She waits for Jazz to get up before leaping at her with a diving hurricanrana. Rosa gets back up and lands some punches. She attempts a whip to the security rail, but Jazz reverses it into a clothesline. Jazz picks up Rosa and whips her into the steel steps. Next she picks her up and rolls her into the ring, but with her head out on the apron. Jazz drops an elbow on Rosa's head. Then Jazz gets on the apron and hits a leg drop. Rosa rolls her head back in the ring. Jazz stands up on the apron and hits a flipover leg drop. She covers Rosa.
1... 2...
Rosa kicks out. Jazz picks her up and gives her a swinging neckbreaker. She picks Rosa up again and drops her on her head with a brainbuster. After landing a leg drop, Jazz goes for a pin.
1... 2...
Rosa kicks out again. Jazz lifts her off her feet and applies a Jazz Stretch. Rosa is screaming in pain as Jazz puts more pressure on the hold. Jazz eventually lets go of the hold and locks in a Boston Crab. Rosa starts crawling over to the ropes. She gets about halfway there before Jazz drags toward the middle of the ring and turns the hold into a Texas Cloverleaf. Again Rosa starts crawling to the ropes. After getting 3/4 of the way there, Jazz drags her back out to the middle of the ring again and turns the Texas Cloverleaf into an STF. Rosa slowly crawls over to the ropes while the fans cheer her on. It takes her a while, but she eventually makes it to the ropes. Jazz picks her up and gives her a few hard chops. She whips Rosa to the ropes. She goes for a clothesline, but Rosa ducks it and hits Jazz with a spinning heel kick. The ref starts counting to 10.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Both women are now up. They start exchanging right hands, but Rosa quickly gains an advantage. She whips Jazz to the ropes, hitting her with a spinebuster. Jazz runs at her, but Rosa takes her down with a Japanese armdrag. Rosa then runs at her with a flying lariat. She picks up Jazz and performs a delayed vertical suplex before covering her.
1... 2...
Jazz kicks out. Rosa picks her up and whips her to the ropes. She goes for a back body drop, but Jazz counters it into a tornado DDT. She climbs to the second rope and connects with a diving elbow. She goes for the cover.
1... 2...
Rosa kicks out. Jazz runs at her, but Rosa hits her with a drop toe hold, dropping Jazz on the second rope. Rosa connects with the 619, knocking Jazz backward. Rosa then hits her with a springboard dragonrana pin.
1... 2...
JAZZ KICKS OUT! The fans start chanting "THIS MATCH RULES!" Rosa takes Jazz to the corner and works over her with some punches and kicks. She runs at her with a handspring elbow attack, but Jazz moves at the last minute. Jazz capitalizes with an STO. She goes for the cover.
1... 2...
Rosa kicks out! Jazz picks her up and puts her in a torture rack. Rosa wiggles her way out and hits Jazz with a Capoeira Kick. Next she finishes her off with the Northern Lights Driver and pins her.
1... 2...
3! *Bell rings*
RA: Here is your winner and STILL EWT Girl Next Door Champion, ROSA!
*The referee raises Rosa's arm in victory as the crowd pops. Rosa walks over to Jazz and helps her up. They shake hands and raise their arms in the air. The crowd cheers, showing their respect. All of a sudden D'Zee runs into the ring and knocks down Rosa. She stomps on her until she's stopped by Jazz. Jazz nails her with lefts and rights, but D'Zee hits her with a low blow and takes her down with a hard clothesline. By this time Rosa is back up and hits D'Zee with a spear. She picks up D'Zee and tosses her out of the ring. She checks on Jazz while D'Zee is on the ramp, fuming. Rosa challenges her to come back in the ring, but D'Zee decides to head up the ramp instead. Rosa heads Jazz up and, after a while, they head backstage*
*Cut to a commercial*
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Post by chanceconfidence on Jun 14, 2006 18:29:39 GMT -5
Chance is walking around backstage, talking using one of those headsets to talk to somebody on the phone. He's wearing a open green shirt and a white one underneath it, as well a pair of comfortable jeans and a another pair of Italian shoes... this time brown. Chance: Alright... cool, excellent. So then, I guess I'll see you later this week... on CHANCE TIME!!! Till then. Chance hangs up, snapping his fingers as some faceless stooge removes his headset, dusting off his shirt. Chance turns around, smacking him right across the face. Chance: You boob... did you I say you could touch me?! HUH?! The faceless stooge backs away awkwardly. Stooge: I'm... I'm sorry sir. I was just trying to clean your shirt off... Chance: CLEAN MY SHIRT OFF! Ingrate... if you want to clean something... then why don't you clean my boots... with your tongue! He shoves the guy down, pocketing his phone and looking quite pleased with himself, well... at least until he runs into Sum Guy. Chance: oh whoop de doo... it's Sum Guy. Sum: Yep... I'm Sum Guy and I mark for Chips Ahoy!!! Confidence sighs. Chance: What do you want you lowly peon? Sum: Well... I'll be the first to ask you Chance... Chance: CONFIDENCE!!! Sum raises an eyebrow. Sum : Err... yeah. So, many people are probably wondering... why have you become such a... such a... SUCH A JERK?! Chance laughs looking at Sum and tilting his green tinted shade down over his nose, staring right at Sum. Chance: You want to know why I've become such a jerk... you want to know why I've been acting so... mean? Why I've been being such a... jackass? Sum nods eagerly. Sum: Yep! Chance chuckles a bit, then smacks Sum right across the face, sending him stumbling back. Chance: I'm acting that way because I'm Chance... FLIPPIN CONFIDENCE you boob! And at Kingdom of Hurt... I realized it. I don't like being the good guy, I don't like being the twit people want to cheer on till their lips fall off. I don't want to be a role model for spoiled brats who beg their parents so they can buy this week's flavor of the month toy. I refuse to act as the idol of sweaty obese geeks who sit all day at their PCs, jerking off to Pig Porn. NO! Chance... Confidence is bloody sick of that! SICK AND TIRED OF IT! Sum: Hey... those pigs are hot... I mean, oh well I'm sorry to hear that. Chance raises an eyebrow, looking at Sum. Sum: Well... they're pink! Chance: You sicken me beyond belief Sum Guy. You know, you should go hang out with that furry freak if you want to admire nude livestock so damn bad. I saw him hiding in the bushes at a zoo once... TRUE STORY! Sum: Erm... I'll keep that in mind. Chance slicks back his pony-tail styled hair, with a smug smirk on his face. Chance: But don't worry Summy... because Chance Confidence is still going to be the role model for someone... somebody great, somebody unappreciated... SOMEBODY WHO SCREAMS MAGNIFICENCE AT THE TOP OF THEIR BLOODY LUNGS!!! Sum: Really... who is that? Chance thinks for a bit... and smiles. Chance: Me you twit... you see, CHANCE... CONFIDENCE is from now on out for one person... and that's Chance Confidence. And pretty soon, the EWT is going to be kneeling at my feet, kissing them with their unworthy mouths, and begging for me to speak with them. Of course... it won't happen, but I might give them a pat on the head or something. Maybe a bowl of dog food if I'm feeling generous. Sum: Well then... there you have it. Chance is a jerk. Suddenly he realizes something. Sum: Oh wait... I heard you were mentioning... CHANCE TIME. Tell us... after having Generation Tech last week, how can you possibly top yourself this time?! Chance thinks for a bit, looking at Sum. Chance: My lips are sealed... and even if I wanted to... I'd never tell some prick like you Sumster. But rest assured, after this edition of CHANCE TIME... things will be shaken up... plain and bloody simple! Chance quickly strolls off... heading nowhere in particular, mainly trying to escape Sum Guy. Sum: Well I'm Sum Guy and I definitely do not visit www.squeallyaction.com!!! Sum quickly runs off... for no reason.
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Post by Superior Dragon on Jun 14, 2006 23:04:51 GMT -5
The Mexicools' theme starts up as Psichosis walks out wearing his old mask to the delight of the fans.
Announcer: *Ahem* As per request by the Suicidal Idolz, the following match will have both the American Saint/Psichosis match and the Dean Malenko/Twizted match happen at the same time.
Dean Malenko comes out as he is greeted will hyoooge cheers from the fans.
"DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK!!!"
American Saint and Twizted come running out comes running out to their new song "Mama Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J. Saint waists no time going right after Psychosis and takes him down with a lariat as Twizted catches Dean off-guard with a running hurricanrana that sends him to the outside. Saint goes to the outside and grabs a trash can lid before whacking Psichosis right over the head.
Ref: Hey, you can't do that!
Saint: Dude, two things. 1. It's ECW week, and all weapons are legal. And second, this is EXTREME Wrestlecrap Threaderation.
Ref: Oh, continue.
Saint does so and whacks Psichosis in the back of the leg, sending him down to the mat. Twizted has adapted to the hardcore situation and whacks Dean with a steel chair. Twizted sends Dean into the ring and climbs the turnbuckle before HITTING THE MARK VIII RIGHT ON DEAN WITH THE CHAIR!!!! The fans are going crazy as Twizted writhes in pain and Dean looks to be knocked out. Meanwhile, Saint has Psicosis in the air for a suplex before hitting the Colt 45 out of nowhere!! Psichosis and Dean are both down as the fans start cheering even louder. Saint goes to the turnbuckle to say somethning.
Saint: NEW MOVE!!!!
Saint grabs Psychosis and hoist him on his shoulders in a torture rack position. Twizted ctahces on to the plan and drags Dean closer to Saint. Twizted climbs the turnbuckle and poses for the crowd before jumping off, stomping on Psychosis, and hitting a Crossfire onto Dean as Saint hits the Shock Treatment!! Both men cover their respective opponents and get the win.
Announcer: Here arer your winners, The Suicidal Idolz!!
Both men climb the turnbuckles and pose for the crowd before heading to the back as we fade to the next segment.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,410
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Jun 14, 2006 23:11:44 GMT -5
Amish Roadkill is in the ring waiting for his opponent.
"Remember The Name" by Fort Minor hits as Chad comes out strutting for the crowd. He steps into the ring and takes off his jacket before tossing the hood out into the crowd. A teenage girl that looks about 18 catches it as Chad acknowledges her with a wink. Roadkill has had enough and goes to attack, but Chad siddesteps it and kicks Roadkill in the back. Chad turns him over and hits the Rewind Tornado, knocking Roadkill silly. Chad maintains a hold of the arm and manages to lock in the Koji Clutch, applying more and more pressure. Roadkill has had enough and taps.
Announcer: Here is your winner, Chad Michaels!!
Michaels lets go of Roadkill and goes to the outside. He walks over to the teenage girl and gives her a quick kiss on the cheek before going back to ringside. He's about halfway there when Melissa pops up and starts hugging Chad and holds his arm as they make their way to the back.
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Jun 15, 2006 1:25:29 GMT -5
*Backstage Koda is heading towards the ring, ready for his match with Kurt Angle, however, Jester stops him*
Koda: Hey man, how's it going? I got a match right now, so it has to remain short.
Jester: Oh, I am doing good, however, you owe me a favor.
*Jester taps Koda's Ox title*
Koda: Man, I don't owe you anything!
Jester: If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be holding that title all high and mighty like!
Koda: Dude, whatever.
*Koda pushes past Jester and heads for the ring*
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Jun 15, 2006 1:35:14 GMT -5
Lillian is standing in the ring with Kurt Angle's music still playing.
* Headstrong by Trapt begins to play as the champ begins to walk onto the stage *
Lillian: And his opponent, he is the Ox champion, from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, Koda Kazar!
Koda rushes to the ring and slides in. Koda lifts his belt into the air and nods to the crowd. Koda hands the ref the belt, and he holds it up.
Koda and Kurt lock up, and Kurt throws Koda onto the mat. Kurt grabs Koda and goes for a german suplex, but Koda lands on his feet. Koda runs to the opposite ropes and hits Angle with a Stylin DDT.
Angle slowly gets up and Koda hits him with a Matrix Dog! Koda stalks Angle from behind, when out of no where, Jester slides into the ring!
Jester nails Koda in the back of the head. The ref calls for the bell.
Lillian: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner by disqualification and STILL EWT Ox Division Champion, Koda Kazar!
Jester dropkicks Angle out of the ring as well. Jester grabs Koda and whips him into the ropes, Jester bounces off the other ropes and hits Koda dead center of the ring with a Savage Spear! Jester rolls through into a standing postion in one fluid motion.
Jester slides out of the ring and grabs Koda's title. Jester rolls back into the ring and holds it high over Koda's body.
*Fade to commercial*
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Post by jester on Jun 15, 2006 1:52:07 GMT -5
.:. Jester is standing backstage as we come back from commerical. .:.
Jester: I guess everyone is wondering that OH-SO-FAMOUS QUESTION. Well let me explain before I hear one "Why Jester, Why?". You see technically, even with my absence, I've been in EWT for a fair bit of time now. I've gone unnoticed. But the gold has eluded me. But not anymore. I'm GOING to get some gold, and I'm GOING to get noticed. At whatever the cost. Well as you all know, anyone knows from past experiances with me...Gold doesn't "elude" me. And EWT is no different...I am no different than before. I helped Koda because he was my friend. And I made a little promise to myself if he sadly, regrettably, turned on me like so many others. You think sheep would learn...but no, they keep getting lead to the slaughter. Let me break it down. Koda, you no longer owe me. I'm going to take what's mine, MYSELF. And I'm making a personal trip to you to pick it up. Your looking at the next E-W-T Ox-Division Champion, The Aerial Showcase....And They Will Never...Forget Me...
*-*-* Fade To Black, Then Commerical. *-*-*
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Jun 15, 2006 9:38:21 GMT -5
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the EWT Tri-State Championship. Introducing the challenger, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 240 lbs., THE SANDMAN!
*Sandman makes his way to the ring through the crowd. The crowd is popping huge. He gets into the ring, drinks some beer, and then smashes the beer can with his head. Fans start up a "SANDMAN!" chant. "Sexy Guy" then starts up*
RA: And his opponent, being accompanied by Sensational Cherry, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 232 lbs., he is the Tri-State Champion, the Heartbreak Hitman BRET MICHAELS!
*HBH walks out with Cherry by his side and looking as cocky as ever. Fans are booing the hell out of him. The pair get in the ring and pose with fans still booing loudly. Cherry exits the ring with the Tri-State title. HBH grabs a mic*
HBH: Look at you. You come out here as if you just woke up, you come down here smashing beer cans with your head, and you all of a sudden think you can challenge me for my title? I've seen what you can do in this ring, and I'm not impressed. I mean, you have to rely on weapons to get any kind of reaction. These people don't care about you.
*Fans boo loudly*
HBH: And you wanna know why? It's because they know what I've always known. You are nothing but a garbage wrestler. Wait, no, let me rephrase that, because that crap you do in the ring isn't wrestling. So instead, I'll say that you're just GARBAGE!!
*Fans are still booing and start up a "F*** YOU BRET!" chant. Sandman is now furious and lunges at HBH*
The bell rings to start the match. Sandman takes HBH down and mounts some punches on him. He picks him up and whips him to the ropes, hitting a clothesline. Sandman picks up HBH again and drops with a bodyslam. After landing an elbow drop, he pins HBH.
1... 2...
HBH kicks out. Sandman picks him up, but HBH rakes him in the eyes. HBH capitalizes with a DDT. He picks up Sandman and takes him down with a 3-handle credenza. HBH hits a standing moonsault and then pins him.
1... 2...
Sandman kicks out. HBH drags him to the corner and bangs his head on the turnbuckle. He then attacks with a combo of punches, kicks and chops. He runs at Sandman for a splash, but Sandman moves at the last minute. HBH hits the turnbuckle, and Sandman hits him with a backward clothesline. Sandman whips HBH to the ropes, hitting a back body drop. Next comes some shoulder blocks. Sandman then surprises HBH with the Heinekenrana. The crowd pops big for the move. Sandman covers HBH.
1... 2...
HBH kicks out. Sandman picks up HBH and drops him with a hard DDT. Now fired up, Sandman rolls out of the ring. Cherry sees him coming and runs away. Sandman grabs a singapore cane from under the ring. Fans now begin chanting "BREAK THE HITMAN!" Sandman rolls back into the ring and is about to hit him with the cane, but the ref pulls it out of his hands. Meanwhile, Cherry slides the Tri-State title into the ring toward HBH. HBH grabs it, and while the ref tosses the cane out, whacks Sandman over the head with it. He tosses it out of the ring and covers Sandman. The ref turns around to make the count.
1... 2...
3! *bell rings*
RA: Here is your winner, and STILL the EWT Tri-State Champion, the Heartbreak Hitman BRET MICHAELS!
*Cherry gets in the ring and hands the title to HBH. The two then celebrate in the ring while fans boo very loudly. HBH grabs a mic*
HBH: You see? It's just like I told you Sandman. You ain't nothin' but GARBAGE!!!
*HBH and Cherry leave the ring smiling and head to the back*
*Cut to the next segment*
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Jun 15, 2006 11:07:01 GMT -5
(As we come back from commercial, the stadium goes dark. The lights on the runway turn on and strobe downward as the entry ramp glows a golden hue. "Look At This Face" comes over the PA and out come the boo birds. Moniqua is the first one out, holding Fru Fru and smiling arrogantley. Soon after Billy and UC come out with their belts slung over their shoulders and wearing sunglasses. They turn and display their ring wear, which has their portrait air brushed on the front and back, just like Rick Rude. All three hold their arms out soaking up the hatred as confetti falls from the ceiling. Finally they make their way down the ramp to the deafening jeers of the crowd. Lillian Garcia makes the introduction as the Handsome Boys hold the ropes open for Moniqua then enter the ring after her. Billy and UC do a varity of poses as Moniqua applauds. The lights come up and Billy takes the mic.)
Billy: "Hello, peons!"
Crowd: "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Billy: "Yes, yes. We missed you too. Did you like our new entrance? Fitting for a couple of handsome boys, if I do say so myself!
Crowd: "VIR-GIN! VIR-GIN! VIR-GIN!"
Billy: "Maybe so! But even though I've never been laid I'm still a hundred times better than all of you people! Chew on that! Now then! People have been asking us why we weren't at the last PPV, Kingdom Of Hurt. The answer is simple. We were in Belize! Soaking up the sun and sipping on unpronouncable and overpriced exotic drinks! Oh sure, we could have made an appearance, but why should we? Why should we make an appearance at just another PPV? No, no, no. We're the greatest tag champions ever! We're the reason people tune in! We are the biggest thing the EWT has ever seen! The Handsome Boy Modeling School won't show up to just any old showIf we make an appearance, you'd better believe that it's going to be an EVENT! Isn't that right, Ultimo?"
(Billy hands the mic over to dumb ass.)
UC: "That's the gospel truth, Billy!"
Crowd: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"
UC: "Is there an echo in here? You already said that! Now on to more important matters! Anyone who's anyone knows, The Handsome Boy Modeling School Scouting Report, or Second Place Is The First Loser, has become the premier show on television! It's getting bigger ratings than the last episode of MASH! In fact, it could go down as the single most important show in TV history! But wouldn't you know it, some *BEEP!*ing ass hats have to come and cry about it. Probably Aborted, we're looking in your direction! The word in the back is that you threw a hissy fit when we gave you two bozos the business last week! And let me just say, if we hurt your feelings, THAT'S TOUGH! Ha!"
(Billy and UC high five.)
UC: "You guys strut around the place talking *BEEP!* and acting like you're all hard, but when we give it to you straight you turn into a couple of five year old girls! My gawd, we could here your bawling clear in another continent! That's half the reason why we went to Belize in the first place! To escape your pathetic whining! So listen up you posers! If you're going to be talking *BEEP!*, you best be prepared to back it up! This ain't the Pee Wee Leagues! This the EWT! And not only do we rule this place with an iron fist..........."
Billy and UC together: "............WE LOOK DAMN GOOD DOING IT! WHOO!"
(As they laugh at their little joke "Mambo Italiano" comes on the PA and out come Little Guido and Tony Malmaluke. As they enter the ring they give the HBMS the skunk eye. UC points and laughs at The FBI's crummy shirts and Billy follows suit. Little Guido gives the HBMS the Italian Salute (you know the one) and it's on! Billy and UC go from zero to pissed in two seconds and charge across the ring. Billy bashes Tony in the face with a series of punches as UC kicks Guido in the stomach and pounds on his neck with a forearm shot. The bell rings as the ref tries to maintain some semblance of order.
Finally the ref manages to get UC over to his corner and Guido over in his as Billy continues his mugging of Tony. Billy sends Tony into the ropes and gives him a back body drop followed by a running elbow drop across the forehead. Billy scoops Tony up and slams him down to the canvas where he lays the boots into his rib cage. Billy holds his arms out and turns around, gloating to the booing crowd. Billy goes back over to Malmaluke and picks him up by the hair. Billy whips Tony into the HBMS side of the ring and tags in UC. UC enters the ring and they both stomp a mud hole into Malmaluke's stomach. Billy leaves the ring as UC takes over.
UC gives Malmaluke a snap suplex and goes for a pin. Tony kicks out at two but it doesn't matter since UC was just being a jerk anyway. UC gives Tony a backbreaker and holds him over the knee, appying pressure on the back. Tony squirms a bit but UC decides to dump him. UC picks Tony up and puts him in a side headlock and tags in Billy. UC delviers a running bulldog and Malmaluke lands hard. He struggles up to his hands and knees but Billy is there to give him a drop kick smack in the ribcage. Billy tries a pin but Tony kicks out.
Billy sends Tony into the ropes and decks him with a hard clothesline. Billy bounces off the ropes himself and comes down with a senton across Tony's stomach. Billy flips Tony over and puts him in the Crippler Crossface so Tony's facing his corner. Billy yells at Guido, telling him to say hello to his partner. Guido can't do anything but stand there and cheer his partner on. Meanwhile, Malmaluke is stuck dead center in the ring locked in the Crossface. Billy laughs and cranks on it harder. Finally Billy lets go but only to go behind Tony and put him in a full nelson while he's still stomach down on the mat. Billy then lifts Tony off the mat and suplexes him backwards so Tony lands on the back of his head. Billy tries for a pin but gets two. Billy then places Tony up on the turnbuckles and tags in UC. UC climbs up on the adjascent buckles as Billy climbs up on his side. Suddenly Billy hurricanranas Tony off the top as UC moonsaults and lands on Malmaluke shortly after he lands. UC hooks the leg and goes for the win but Malmaluke gets the shoulder up.
UC stands and taunts Guido while pointing at Malmaluke. Guido gets flustered and tries to get into the ring but the referee pushes him back into his corner. With the ref's back turned Billy gets back into the ring and give Malmaluke a red ass beat down. Billy leaves the ring just as the ref turns around and sees UC going for another cover. Two count again. UC pulls his knee pad down and lands a DeMento Kneedrop across Tony's chest. UC picks Tony up and nails him with a Burning Hammer. UC then gets up and backs towards his own corner. Tony slowly tries to get up and barely can get up to his knees. Meanwhile UC leans up against the buckles as Billy smirks and watches on. Tony glances up at UC, who just shrugs and tells him to go ahead and make the tag. Guido is frantically screaming for the tag, leaning over the ropes with his hand outstretched. Malmaluke slowly begins to crawl over to this corner, hoping to make the tag. UC just watches and doesn't make a move. Guido and Tony are now a centimeter away from making the tag when all of a sudden Guido falls off the apron and smacks his face on the concret floor. As the crowd has seen, Moniqua has run over to the FBI side and pulled Guido's leg causing him to fall. Moniqua smiles and saunters back over to the HBMS corner as UC makes the tag back to Billy and runs over to Malmaluke. Billy and UC hit Malmaluke with the Abdomanizor and Billy covers. Uno, dos, tres. Done.)
Lillian: "Here are your winners, and still EWT tag team champions...............The Handsome Boy Modeling School!"
(Moniqua enters the ring and raises the arms of her champions. The crowd is livid at the display of arrogance and has begun to litter the ring with debris. Billy and UC grab their belts and they make their way to the back, not giving a crap about anyone or what they think.)
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Post by Poker Joker on Jun 15, 2006 16:54:07 GMT -5
(We come back from a commercial break just in time to see the start of the next match. Its the "Homophobic Fatal Four-Way!" Already in the ring are Goldust, Rico, and Johnny B. Badd. They're waiting for the fourth participant, Lenny Lane, as he makes his way down to the ring. The guest announcer is suddenly introduced! Its NICOLE BASS! The fans start heading for the concession stands before the bell has even rung, and the audience at home is saved by sudden static.....
The static clears and the theme song from "The Critic" starts to play. Billy Ubermark and Ultimo Chocula appear on the screen in their theater setting, comfortably relaxing in their recliners. Each of them is holding their E.W.T. Tag-Team Title Belts across their lap.)
Billy: "Hello, again, all you boob-tube-addicts out there in t.v. land. Its time for another episode of 'Second Place is the First Loser!' As always, I'm Billy Ubermark, and beside me is my tag-team partner, Ultimo Chocula."
UC (waving at the camera): "Hi-dee-ho, neighbors!"
Billy: "If you're familiar with our show, then no doubt you're thrilled to see our bright and shining faces back on your television screen."
UC: "And if you're not, then I suggest you pull your heads out of the sand and pay attention. There's a whole world out here, people! Feel free to be a part of it!"
Billy: "Be a part of it, indeed. Just don't touch the parts of it that are ours. Anyways, we've been getting fan mail from all over the world telling us just how much we're loved by you humanoids out there."
(Chocula reaches behind his recliner and pulls out a bag of postcards. He starts pulling them out and reading off the return addresses.)
UC: "Aroun the world is right! Look at this! Here's one from France!.... and Italy!.... and here's another from Japan!.... Do you know what the women in Japan will DO just to meet superstars of our caliber in person?
Billy: "Is it anything like one of those Hentai cartoons you can order over NetFlicks?"
UC: "To say the least! (Choucla pulls out some more postcards) Here's some fan mail from Germany..... And Canada.... Paraguay..... Eithiopea..... (he stops and looks hard at one postcard in particular).... What the hell?... Hey where in the hell is Stamford, CT?"
(Chocula looks over at Billy who appears equally puzzled.)
Billy (shrugging his shoulders): "Beats me. That must be one of those 'Third World' countries we always hear about."
UC: "Do they even know anything about wrestling in the Third World?"
Billy: "Doubt it. But, hey! At least they know a good thing when they see it.... in this case, anyway!"
UC: "No doubt!"
(Chocula throws the post cards back into the bag and then tosses it off the set.)
Billy: "What you're currently seeing is the ever-popular program where my partner and I take a few minutes out of our busy schedules to educate you sad sacks about the current state of the rest of the E.W.T.'s tag-team division."
UC: "We call it 'charity work'."
Billy: "That we do. Helping out the world by gracing the poverty-stricken slobs with our presence is the big thing for people of our social status to do, these days. Why, just look at all the celebs doing that kind of thing, now days: George Clooney, Tim Robbins, Bono, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt...."
UC (interrupting): "Of course, we all know Brad Pitt is simply doing it so he can keep tapping that fine piece of ass, Angelina Jolie."
Billy: "True.... Lucky bastard! But anyway, while those folks go to countries where cows are worshipped and lions drag away an average of one villager a day, the two of us do our civic duty by doing this show and giving you people something to live for."
UC: "You can thank us later."
Billy: "Alright! Enough about our good deeds. Its time to get down to this week's topic. Ultimo! What two chumps are we beating down, this week?"
(Off stage, a door can be heard opening and slamming shut.)
UC: "Today we've got the..."
STAGE HAND (from off camera): "Excuse me! This is a closed set!"
(Chocula gets distracted. He and Billy both turn their heads to see what's going on.)
Billy: "Pardon me! Ass-monkeys! We're trying to do a show here!.... What's all the hub.....
(Billy Ubermark suddenly gets a defensive look to him, and Ultimo Chocula leans forwards in his chair. The camera pulls back some, and Moxie steps into the scene. He stands right in front of Billy Ubermark's chair and stares down at the seated tag-team champ.)
Moxie (cooly): "Hey, Billy. Long time, no see.
Billy: "Not long enough for my taste."
Moxie: "Really? I heard you've been talking some trash about me and my partner."
Billy: "Just speakin' what's on our minds, Moppy. You got a problem with that?"
Moxie: "Oh, I've got a BIG problem with that. And do you know what? So does he."
UC: "He who?...... GAAAAAAAAHCK!"
(Suddenly from the other side of the stage comes Hitman Mark, running at full speed. He lunges at Ultimo Chocula who is still in his chair. Chocula's tag-team title belt goes flying as he and Hitman Mark tumble backwards in the recliner. Billy Ubermark is caught off-guard by the attack and looks over to see what just happened to his partner. Moxie then makes his move. He grabs Billy Ubermark by the shirt and drags him out of the chair and to his feet. Before Billy can react, Moxie starts laying into him with a series of closed fists to the face. Billy gets rocked by the punches and staggers off-camera. The camera guy, simply doing his job, zooms in on the over-turned recliner. Hitman Mark suddenly stands up from behind it, clutching at Ultimo Chocula's shirt by the collar. He takes Chocula and slams him up against the wall behind him.)
Hitman Mark: "What was that you said about me yesterday, you little puke?"
(H-Mark slams Chocula up against the wall, again?)
Hitman Mark: "You think I'm some punk with a Misfits lunchbox? You wanna sit here behind a camera and call me names all day?! DO YA?!"
(H-Mark takes Chocula and throws him across the stage into a small desk with some technical equipment sitting on top of it. Chocula slams into the side of the desk and slumps to the floor, and pieces of the equipment go flying off. Hitman Mark walks over to where Ultimo Chocula)
Hitman Mark: "How about you try calling me names now, huh?! Try calling me names to my face!"
(Hitman Mark goes up to Chocula and gives him a sharp kick in the ribs, before getting down and starting to beat on Chocula.. The camera pans around away from Hitman Mark to where Moxie is. Moxie is still delivering well-timed punches to a dazed Billy Ubermark, who tries to mount some kind of defense. Billy fires a couple of punches of his own at Moxie's face, but Moxie takes a boom microphone that's hanging nearby and slams it into Billy's face. Billy staggers around in a circle. Moxie grabs a steel chair that one of the stage hands is sitting on.)
Moxie: "You know what, Billy? I was just fine leaving things the way they were."
(Moxie tosses the chair on the ground.)
Moxie: "I had no problem putting our little history in the past."
(Moxie suddenly grabs Billy by the hair and bends his head back. Moxie shoves his face right up to Billy's and looks him square in the eye.)
Moxie: "But you.... you just couldn't leave well enough alone, could you?"
(Moxie suddenly knees Billy in the stomach. Billy doubles over in pain, and Moxie quickly sets Billy up and nails him with a DDT that sends Billy face-first into the steel chair Moxie tossed on the ground. Billy rolls around on the floor, grabbing his head in agony as Moxie methodically gets to his feet. The camera pans back over frightened stage hands to where Hitman Mark is beating on Ultimo Chocula. Hitman Mark grabs Chocula by the hair and stands him to his feet. He then grabs a hand-held microphone off of a table, clinches it in his fist, and punches Chocula with it. Chocula spins around from the impact and falls to one knee.)
Hitman Mark: "Where's that smart mouth of your's, huh, Chocula?! Where's all that quick wit you're so known for?!"
(Hitman Mark grabs a video camera from off of a nearby tripod. He lifts hit over his head and smashes it down atop the head of Ultimo Chocula. A video cassette pops out of it and pieces scatter from the impact, as Ultimo Chocula falls to the floor in a heap. The camera zooms in some on Ultimo Chocula, who is lying motionless on his stomach. Suddenly, Billy Ubermark comes flying into the picture. He lands on his back with a thud. A stream of blood is running down his face from an open gash in his forehead. After a couple of seconds, Moxie comes over and appears in the picture as he kneels down between the two fallen Handsome Boys.)
Moxie: "For the past two months, the only sound anyone has been able to hear around here is the noise from you two numb-nuts flapping your gums about how there's no competition for you in this fed. Well, if competition is what you want, then congratulations.... because now you've got yourself some."
(Moxie looks at Billy and Chocula, and then gives a smile. As he does so, Hitman Mark kneels down into the picture. He's got the Handsome Boys' tag-team title belts in his hands. He tosses on on top of each of them.)
Moxie: "Keep looking over your shoulders, fellas. Because the two of us are gonna be coming for you. And when we do, we're going to take those two precious little belts off your hands, and put them where they belong.... across a REAL tag-team's waists... OURS!
(Moxie gets up and walks out of the picture. Hitman Mark chuckles a little bit, and nudges Ultimo Chocula as he gets up, himself.)
Hitman Mark (smiling): "Keep those belts nice and shiney for us, boys. We'll be coming to get them REAL SOON!"
(With that, Hitman Mark gets up and walks off. The camera pulls in on Billy and Ultimo who are still lying on the ground. Ultimo groans a little bit as stage hands come into the picture to check on the two men.)
Stage Hand: Holy crap!
Camera Guy: Somebody get some help!
Production Manager: This is going to cut WAY into the segment!
Stage Hand: I’ll call for a doctor!
Production Manager: Quick! Go to a commercial or something!
(The scene fades to black as people scury around the beaten Handsome Boys.)
*COMMERCIAL*
(The camera cuts to a picture of a resteraunt in front of a gigantic black mountain with a snake sculpted at the top with lava pouring out of the mouth. Suddenly a half man/half lobster hybrid with a huge right claw and wearing a chef's hat pops into veiw.)
Clawful: "For the best breakfast this side of Eternia, come on down to Clawful's Waffles! We fix your waffle any way you like it, be you a walking skeleton, a cowardly kitty cat, or a deep in the closet champion of justice! Looky here!"
(With his huge right claw he holds up a waffle covered in animal guts.)
Clawful: "This is the Beast Man special! We take four types of animal entrails, roll 'em around in dung for a while, and slop it on to a waffle made from milk straight outta Panthor's teet! A breakfast fit for any king of the beasts! And if that's not your fancy, then how about this?"
(He grabs a new plate covered in seaweed.)
Clawful: "Right here is the Mer-Man Mouth Filler! We take a waffle, leave it in the ocean for all the sea critters to lay their eggs in it, and wrap it up in the finest kelp and algae! Then to finish it all off, we top it with your choice of sea slug! Purple or yellow! Shiver me timbers! That's a fine waffle!"
(Clawful dumps that plate and holds his nose with the small claw while bringing out a new plate with his big one.)
Clawful: "Pee yoo! If you've got an iron gut and a big appetite, then you'll want to get ahold of our newest waffle, Stinkor's Stench Patty! Trust me! You don't wanna know what's in this one! For die hards only! If you can finish it, you get to KEEP THE GAS MASK!"
(He dumps the plate and waves his claws around wildy.)
Clawful: "So come on down to Clawful's Waffles today! If you got a case of the hungries, I'll give you a case of the crabs!"
Voice over: "That's Clawful's Waffles, convieniently located on Snake Mountain off the 401 Highway! Open 9-10 weekdays, 10-5 on Sundays! Every fiftieth customer gets a whack on the head from Clawful himself!"
(We cut back to the studio, which is now bare. The chairs are over-turned, the set is a wreck, and Billy and Ultimo are nowhere to be seen. The image stays like that for a while before it fades to black.)
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