Queen Rosa
Mike the Goon
All hail the queen!
Posts: 30
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Post by Queen Rosa on Dec 29, 2006 13:53:58 GMT -5
*We cut to ringside when "It's My Time" begins playing. Rosa walks out to a big pop*
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome QUEEN ROSA!
*Rosa steps into the ring and grabs a mic. Fans start a "ROSA" chant*
Rosa: Thank you. Now, I'm sure you've heard of the rumors that I'm leaving EWT. Unfortunately, those rumors are true.
Fans: PLEASE DON'T GO! PLEASE DON'T GO!
Rosa: I know, I know, you don't want me to leave. And believe me, it pains me to have to leave this place. But I feel it's time for me to move on. I did what I set out to do, and that's win the GND title, winning the Queen of the Ring in the process. I want to thank all of you for supporting me during my time here. I'd also like to thank the guys and gals in the back. You're all fine competitors, and I feel honored to have worked with so many of you. It's been a great ride here in EWT. There were some good times and some bad times, but I'll never forget what I had here.
*We see a tear run down Rosa's cheek. Fans are now chanting "THANK YOU ROSA!"*
Rosa: Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Goodbye.
*Rosa waves to fans and exits the ring. She heads up the ramp, gives one last look, and raises her arms before going backstage*
*Fade to a commercial*
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Post by teamireland on Dec 29, 2006 20:17:26 GMT -5
*Marisol Kaneshall is seen standingoutside the Team Ireland locker room, mic in hand, ready to interview Coach O'Hare. O'Hare stands, as always, with his prized Hurley over his shoulder. Shane Malone stands silently behind O'Hare with his arms folded.* Marisol: Mr. The Coach, by now you know about your match with Raskall & Trunk. What are your thoughts on Aidan & Sean having to compete in a TLC match? O'Hare: Well, darlin', it's like this, see... *A voice shouts from off-camera.* Voice: HEY YOU! YEAH! I'M TALKING TO YOU YOU IRISH SON OF A B****! *The camera swings around & we see that the voice belongs to Paul Podanski. Paul is carrying a bin full of weapons with him.* Paul: I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU ASS***** YET! *Paul crashes the bin over O'Hare's head & picks a Singapore Cane up off the gorund to go to town on Shane Malone. Paul charges right at Malone & the two go crashing into the Team Ireland locker-room. The other Team Ireland members are all in there. Aidan Donnelly is sitting at the table on his 'phone; Liam O'Neill is applying fake tan & practicing his Air Guitar; Sean McCann is on the couch making out with the morbidly obese stripper he met on the set of "Jerry Springer". When Shane & Paul come crashing in all 3 men stop what they're doing & begin to lay a beat down on Paul. Sean attacks from behind & smashes a nearby empty bottle of Guinness over Paul's head. Aidan orders Liam to tie Paul up in some sort of submission hold. But instead, Liam takes a few steps back & drops a leg right across Paul's throat. Working together, Aidan & Shane hold Podanski's head at one of the lockers & repeatedly slam the door on his head. Shane pulls Paul's head out from the locker & we can see that Paul's eyes have glazed over. Shane & Aidan carry Paul over to the table as Sean clambers on top of the lockers. Sean leaps from the top of the locker & gives Paul a Double Foot Stomp that takes him right through the table. Setting a steel chair on the floor, Coach O'Hare gets in the face of Podanski. Aidan rolls Paul over so he's face down. O'Hare slides the chair under Paul's face & Aidan gives Paul a Curb Stomp right on to the chair! Paul's face is covered in blood & Team Ireland yuk it up before leaving the locker-room after draping the Tricolour over the fallen body of Paul Podanski.*
[cue the next segment...]
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Post by dorf on Dec 29, 2006 21:32:22 GMT -5
*The serenade darkness fills the void with a candle lit in the background. The camera goes down and Dorf is shown in a cloak.*
Dorf: To everyone that still care about me *pauses*...and Heiden-Dorf. Heiden-Dorf was taken into Intensive care immediately after our match at Season's Beatings.
Even the strongest Cheese Sandwich could not wake up a weak, frail Heiden-Dorf. To this very second, he is still on a strecher in the hospital...in what probably has been his last EWT match to date.
The injuries sustained are countless...dislocated left scapula, dislocated left clavicle, a collapsed lung, broken left Humorus bone, three ribs obliterated, and a broken left fibula.
APE!! I know we had our differences in the past, but let me tell you something, you destroyed something that had great bonding to me, the EWT arena, the WHOLE WORLD.
From Season's Beatings, I, Dorf have become a changed man and from this day forward, there is no more slacking, chilling, and relaxing. I guess the day when everything hits you mentally in the head in terms of maturity comes true and this day is now.
This is why on EWTs next PPV I am issuing an open challenge to you, psychoapeguy to any match, any place, any where stipulations and I will have my revenge for what you did to me at Season's Beatings.
I'm game...are you? Remember I have been in two Megadeth's, Escalator to Heaven, Steel Cages, Elimination Chamber, and many other matches. Come *insert next EWT PPV* you WILL get your....just dooooo.
*blows out candle*
This week, I face Ratings...a cocky, wanna-be Superstar straight from the land of CalI. Hello, have you recently heard....apparently not, but I will make it clear, < Johnny Nitro wants his gimmick back, his 2004 gimmick. >.
Sure, you may not have sexy valet, but you have those two other slobs, Maxx Sucking and Eric Masterbater. *cues break for lame laughter*
Your stable is suppposedly called the Elite, but tell me this when I'm scoring with all three of your dates at once! *shows picture of The Elite looking sexy with their dates and then the next slide shows Dorf with those three chicks KISSING HIM!*
I may not have the riches or glamour, but I was trained to be the best and I have succeeded at times to become unstoppable. I assume you saw my tapes from No Rest For The Wicked '05, Saved By The Bell 2: The College Years' 05, and so forth.
To prove how good I was back then, I will start by beating you...for Heiden-Dorf. RATINGS, you will get your just...DO!
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Ratings
Dennis Stamp
Has a box of scraps
"YAY!"
Posts: 4,236
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Post by Ratings on Dec 30, 2006 10:15:36 GMT -5
A forlorn Ratings is shown backstage in his casual attire; his eyes staring away from the camera.
Ratings: "Dorf... my opposition for this week's confrontation... You have selected the most unfortunate time to provoke me. Not only did I lose my chance of becoming #1 contender for the EWT Heavyweight Championship, but Bret Michaels--a man who I value as a friend and one of EWT finest athletes--is leaving. And what do you do, Dorf? You decide to degrade me for the benefit of the penurious filth referred to as EWT fans and your own amusement."
Ratings quickly removes his sunglasses and looks directly towards the camera.
Ratings: "Well congratulations, Dorf; for you have succeeded in becoming the final spark that has set ablaze the fury inside of me. Allow me to warn you, my stubborn opponent; when you enter the ring this week, nothing will save you from actions that I will not be held accountable. Not you, not the EWT fans and surely not some masked imbecile who's love for cheese sandwiches can only be matched by his own stupidity. You will fall, Dorf; and the ratings... will... rise."
He glares into the camera for a few moments before walking out of frame.
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Post by dorf on Dec 30, 2006 23:20:14 GMT -5
*Camera pans back to Dull Grisham*
Dull: *drools, talks slowly* Here I am, Dull Grisham awaiting Dorf's response to Ra-tings...
*Dorf opens his locker room Dorf*
Dorf. Dorf. What is your response to Ratings message?
Dorf: *looks at Dull's name tag* Dull Grisham...I presume?
Dull: *slowly* yeeee-
Dorf: Whoa, whoa, WHOA. Slow down there speedy, here have the power of cheese sandwich compel you. *hands Sandwich to Grisham which puts a smile in both Dorf's and Grisham's faces.*
You feel the Cheese Sandwich, Dull Grisham? Do you see the Cheese Sandwich....DO YOU SMELL the Cheese Sandwich, Dull?
*Dull nods slowly*
Take a bite. *Dull hesitates* TAKE A BITE OF THE DAMN SANDWICH, DULL...you're on live TV for god's sakes.
*Dull attempts to open his mouth, Dorf sniffs*
On second thought...nevermind. Here take these...know what, nevermind take the whole tic tacs you bad breath FREAK! *shoves Dull Grisham away and talks the microphone*
*Camera focuses onto Dorf*
Ratings...you said what you had to say, but now its Dorf's turn. #1 contendership don't mean nothing in EWT sonny boy...unless you win the BIG ONE, the mahogany of authenticity, Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation World Heavyweight Championship.
You lost it to Bret Michaels, a fine legend in EWT history...so what, I lost to Bret Michaels too...IN THE MEGADETH. How many EWT wrestlers can say that they have fought IN the Megadeth? Not much and the DwO are the only ones to have fought in both times.
Heiden-Dorf may not be with me, but by the powers of his Cheese Sandwich *walks away from camera and returns the show the Cheese Sandwich on TV* I can, too achieve everything Heiden-Dorf has done with it. Just that I don't have an addiction.
So...Mr. Nitro *cough, cough* #1 contendership isn't much when I have *rubs greasy Cheese Sandwich over chest in a classy manner* World Heavyweight Champion, Ox Division, Toolshed Champ, 2-time Megadeth participant, 2005 Royal Pain In The Ass Rumble Champion, and many, many "#1 contendership" chances.
To me, you're like a jobber from my days in Filthadelphia....you have got nothing on me Mr. Cali. You got your "ratings will rise" and that premise may be true, but after I beat your ass up and down the whole EWT arena, a new era of EWT will begin or be re-born...I haven't decided yet...
What I do know for sure, is after I beat your Cali ass down, YOU WILL KNOW YER SOUL AND SHUT YER...TRAP!
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Dec 31, 2006 0:24:37 GMT -5
*Mean Gene is backstage with HBH and Cherry*
Mean Gene: I'm Mean Gene Okerlund, and I'm being joined now by the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels and Sensational Cherry. Bret, the locker room has been buzzing for the past couple of weeks that you're leaving EWT. Is this true?
HBH: Yeah, it's true, and you wanna know why? It's because I feel unappreciated here.
MG: Unappreciated?
HBH: That's right. During the time I've been here, I've busted my butt to try and put on a show for these fans. And yet in return, I get nothing. Not even a "thank you". And since they don't appreciate me, I'm leaving. They don't deserve to be in the presence of a man such as myself anyway. And now I believe this interview is over.
*Mean Gene walks off. A few seconds later, Gasoline enters the picture*
HBH: What do you want?
Gas: You know, me and you, we've been through a whole lot together. We've had our share of good times and bad times, and even though we may not see eye-to-eye, I've always respected you as a performer. And you know deep down that these people respect you as a performer too. They say that you're only as good as your last match, so let's give these guys a hell of a match to remember us by.
*Gas offers a handshake. HBH ponders over this for a few moments before making his decision*
HBH: Fine. Let's tear it up one last time.
*HBH shakes Gas's hand. Gas then walks off. Rosa then enters the picture*
HBH: What is this, some kind of goobye train or something?
Rosa: Please, just hear me out. When I said that I felt honored to work with so many here in EWT, that meant you too. We may not have always gotten along, but you did help me out...a lot. And I want to thank you for that.
HBH: Thanks. And I must say that you are one heck of a wrestler. You're going to be going places.
Rosa: Wow. Coming from you, that's quite a compliment.
HBH: Hey, I may have a big ego, but I know talent when I see it.
Rosa: Well, good luck. To both of you.
HBH: Good luck to you too.
*Rosa walks off*
HBH: Let's go Cherry. I need to prepare for my last match here in EWT.
*HBH and Cherry walk off*
*Cut to a commercial*
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Dec 31, 2006 1:03:23 GMT -5
* "White & Nerdy" by Weird Al begins to play *
Lillian: Introducing first, from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, being accompanied to the ring by Job Bher, Koda Kazar!
Koda rolls into the ring to a mix reaction, with more cheers than boos.
Lillian: And his opponent, Big Sexy Kevin Nash!
The crowd pops for Nash. Koda grabs a mic.
Koda: Holy shit! I'm facing a giant! Job, what the hell am I going to do?
Job: \/\/h47 y0u n33d 70 i5 4 +15 m4gic41 10ng5\/\/0rd 7h47 h45 b4n3 0f gi4n7.
Koda: Oh, well I don't have a +15 magical longsword that has bane of giant. I guess me and Tiny Tim over here need to roll for initiative.
Koda gets a die from Job and rolls it. Koda then goes to hand the die to Nash, who cheap shots Koda. Lillian and Job get out of the ring as the ref calls the bell. Koda stands up. Nash begins to charge Koda, but slips on the die he forced Koda to drop when he hit him. Nash falls down and begins holding his leg.
Nash: Ow, my quad! I think I tore it again! God damn it! Ow!
Koda: What the hell happened?
Job: 101, h4xx0rz!
The ref calls the match and signals for EMTs.
Lillian: Your winner by forfeit, Koda Kazar!
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Dec 31, 2006 1:13:20 GMT -5
* We come back from commercial to a video on the ToomiTron *
It begins to have words show up on screen. The words are also spoken outloud.
We regret to inform all of you, Rock Lee has passed away. Following Season's Beatings, he was sent on a deadly mission for his village. He was mortally wounded protecting the rest of his team. He will forever be remembered. The next PPV will be dedicated to Rock Lee. His funeral will be in 2 weeks.
The video ends with a still picture of Lee and "1988 - 2006" at the bottom.
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Dec 31, 2006 3:26:41 GMT -5
*camera flicks on, the mystery partner is in front of the camera and is blurred out*
"Hey everyone... It's *bleeped*. But I'm sure that was bleeped out, as always. Anyways, I'm here on live television and I was told by the EWT offices that they want more filler. What are we, RAW? Anyways, I don't need to go out of my way to entertain anybody. So I'm going to talk to my agent and record this, because this should interest you simpletons enough."
*dials the his cell and puts it on speaker mode*
"Hey, ya there?"
"Sure am."
"How's law school going?"
"Eh."
"How's my demands to the office going?"
"Worse."
"...Crap. Okay, give me the results."
"Well, about you not appearing on EWT programming... It's in your contract that it's up to the captain, in regards to your likenesses being showed for the first time."
"Of course, and that weirdo will probably make it so that I'll never be on EWT"
"They said you are to debut and be on the road soon so you have to be shown anyway."
"Ah... Well, I guess it can't be helped then... What was next?"
"The request for a new partner."
"Oh god yes, how did that go."
"Well, unless you want to be wished well... Etc. You have to stick with him."
"... I could do the former."
"And then you'll be sued for breach of contract."
"Dammit."
"Okay then, how about my request to live by myself?"
"Management wants the new tag teams to be close and fully functional machines."
"Which I get but.... Wait! New tag TEAMS?!"
"Yep, you aren't the only new team debuting."
"Who?"
"Job Bher and Koda Kazar. And their finish is close to yours, tag and single."
"Great, so we're the ripoffs."
"Tough luck dear brother."
"Yea... Continue with the responses..."
"Request for a change of tag name."
"Oh please be okay."
"Nope. You are stuck with the Wrestle Posse as it has already been trademarked."
"...Son of a -"
"By the way... The Wreste Posse?"
"Don't ask."
"Ah, I see. Oh, but you can possiby add to it."
"Ah... Well that's a plus I guess... My bid for a singles career?"
"Contract strickly says that you can only be have a singles career if you become a tag champion."
"Did you ask why I had to sign as a tag wrestler and not a singles competitor?"
"Management thinks you're both not ready for a singles career yet."
"So, I have to get the tag titles before I even get a chance at a single title?"
"Pretty much."
"(sigh) And with my joke of a partner, that will never happen. I've been Terry Taylored before I have even entered the ring."
"There is another option, but I have to review it... I'm not sure what it means yet."
"There's hope?"
"Don't count it on it."
"Ugh... Do you have any good news? What about a different tag theme?"
"The license for "Young, Dumb, and Ugly" has been already purchased. (chuckle) Terry Taylored is so fitting for this burial of your career."
"Yea, thanks..."
"I try."
*pause*
"So you're sure that the audience will soon know who I am?"
"Yep. But they said that you would be identified soon, under the advisement of your partner."
"How did he end up as captian?"
"He held out on signing his contract. You didn't."
"Damn."
"Not to worry, though, he's put in the release for you to be finally shown."
"When?!"
"It stipilates that when he mentions your name on EWT programming."
"That's sorta odd... Well, at least I will be a huge surprise to the viewers when I come to the ring for the first time...”
"Sure, mystery sells."
*off camera*
“HEY AXEL! I'm going to the store, you want something?”
*blur fades to reveal top indy star "The Icon" Axel Halway in street clothes*
“DAMMIT JOBBY!!!”
*Axel runs out of frame after Jobby's voice, leaving the cell behind*
"YOU ARE DEAD!!!"
"WHAT DID I DO!!!??"
*brother's laughter from the dropped cell is heard; muffled yelling and crashes in the background*
"He's got a real winner for a partner."
*camera fades to black; cheap 80s video effects appear to form the words*
“Coming soon to EWT, The Wrestle Posse!”
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Dec 31, 2006 22:57:36 GMT -5
*Spaz is standing backstage. He has a look in his eye that has not been seen for some time. He lookes focused.*
S: Billy, Billy, Billy. All the types of match that you could have chosen you chose a ladder match? You are dumber then look if that's even possible. I have competed in ladder match in EWT & other companies around the world. Do you remember the TLC Rumble? I beat 24 men to retain the World Title! I was in the first ever 2 out of 3 retreivals ladder match with Maelstrom & he is twice the wrestler you are. He is a world champion! Is a ladder match supposed to scare me? Nothing f***ing scares me anymore Billy. I have nothing left to lose. A man with nothing to lose is the most dangerous man in the world. You have opened up the gates to your own personal hell Billy & I am the f***ing devil! Bring on the Ladder Match. I will break you with The Shockwave. Leave you in the centre of that ring like I have so many others before you. Look at the list, it is long & distinguished, just like my Johnson! Psychoapeguy, Merc, A-Bomb, JzBadBlood, Eddie Omega, Flex Magnificent, Chance Confidence, Limey, Principal Pain, Virus, Gasoline. All of those men have fallen by the wayside when the time came to face me. You will be the next man to appear on that list Billy. Mark my words, Believe The Hype Billy coz its all true!
*The camera zooms right in to Spaz's face as we cut to commercial.*
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Post by crauswell on Jan 1, 2007 16:31:57 GMT -5
As we return from commercial, the Blue Blazer is safely being lowered into the ring, as he waves to the crowd, who gives him a decent reaction in reply.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall... and it is for the Ox Division Championship! Introducing the challenger from...
The announcer is cut as Crauswell suddenly slides in from behind, grabbing Blazer in Mid Air by the throat, yanking him from off the cord and planting him with a decimating Beak Buster. He then jumps atop, beating the hell out of him with some vicious lefts and rights, before rolling off, tugging him up by the shoulders as he sets him up top, hitting a Steamroller, then fliudly running off the ropes into a nasty leg drop across the throat! Blazer screams in pain as Crauswell unstraps his Ox Division Title... then uses it to choke Blazer from on the mat! The crowd boos angrily in reply as the furry seems to be trying to break Blazer's neck, before the referee eventually pulls him off. Crauswell turns around, glaring and instantly leveling him with a lariat. He then returns his attention, yanking Blazer back up again and lifting him up by the waist, charging and driving him into the turnbuckle, then setting him atop, delivering some lightning fast throat thrusts, then leaping atop, launching him with a Top Rope Exploder! Blazer hits the mat hard, Crauswell rising up pretty shortly after, stomping the mat and looking positively rabid... as he waits for Blazer to rise up... stomping in rythym, then sprinting forward, nailing a gore, pretty much "killing" Blazer as he lays nearly motionless. Crauswell then drags him over onto the apron, neck hanging out, as he reaches under the ring, grabbing a steel chair and sandwiching it over his face! He then climbs atop the turnbuckle nearby, leaping off and Taking Flight, colliding and pretty much shattering Blazer's nose, as his masked face becomes a more purplish tint, Crauswell ripping the chair off and then using it to repeatedly bash Blazer's skull in... before suddenly dozens of security guards run out, pulling the Ox Division Champion off... or trying as he throws them off temporarily, running over and grabbing the nearest microphone.
Crauswell: THE OX DIVISION TITLE IS MINE!!! IF YOU DARE TO TRY AND SEPERATE ME... YOU'LL SUFFER EVEN WORSE!!!
Blazer is motionless, unconcious, and completely out of commission as security drags the furry to the back, but not before he snatches his title once again... as we fade to the next segment.
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Indigocrates
Unicron
I got bored. Decided to become a philosopher. Just 'cause.
Posts: 2,953
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Post by Indigocrates on Jan 1, 2007 17:12:03 GMT -5
Rob Van Dam is seen in the ring awaiting his opponent. “Hybrid Stigmata” by Dimmu Borgir starts up over the speakers, and Christopher Indigo is seen at the top of the entrance way. He then makes his way down to the ring.”
Lillian: “From Calgary, Alberta Canada, weighing in at 215 pounds, CHRISTOPHER INDIGO!”
boos flood from the audience as the ref calls for the bell. RVD charges at Chris and takes down Chris with a kick. RVD quickly goes to the top rope and leaps off, attempting a flying thrust kick. But Indigo catches Rob’s foot, and pulls Rob down to the canvas. Indigo sets Rob, up, and hits the Vision of Indigo. Chris pins Rob.
1
2
3!
DING DING DING
Lillian: “Here is your winner, and still EWT Toolshed Champion, CHRISTOPHER INDIGO!”
The ref gives Chris his title, but Chris quickly signals to the entrance way. Joe One comes out to many boos, Joe is carrying an Ingsoc flag. One makes his way down to the ring, and hands Chris the flag. One then goes to the top rope, and taps his elbow, signalling an elbow drop. One jumps off the top rope, and elbow drops RVD. Indigo then lays the Ingsoc flag over RVD as the two men leave the ring, the audience throwing garbage at them.
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Post by teamireland on Jan 2, 2007 15:06:27 GMT -5
*The lights in the EWT arena begin to dim & Chopin's "Funeral March" begins to play. The crowd have absolutley no idea what's going on. Four figures appear at the top of the ramp carrying a coffin. They are Shane Malone, Mr. Big, Aidan Donnelly & Coach O'Hare. All four men are dressed in suits. They are preceded slightly by Dr. Vivian Anemone, dressed in full mourning regalia, Sean McCann, Curly Long & Liam O'Neill. The three men not carrying the coffin are also dressed in suits, Liam O'Neill has grown a handlebar moustache. When they reach the ring, Big, Shane, O'Hare & Aidan slide the coffin on in. Big & Shane then drag the coffin to the centre of the ring & the others assemble around it. A camera zooms in on the coffin. There's a small golden plaque on it with the words "Paul Podanski" engraved in it. O'Hare takes to a podium near the middle of the ring. "Funeral March" continues to play (but at a lower volume) & the lights remain somewhat low.* O'Hare: My dear friends, we are gathered today to mourn the passing of Paul "Friggin" Podanski. The big man held a special place in all our hearts. Especially you, Vivian... *Dr. Anemone wails uncontrollably.* O'Hare:... but he will not be forgotten. Paul will live on in all our memories. I'm sure we'll all remember the time he...uh...um... What the hell has he done that's of any note? Huh?! *The "Funeral March" abruptly stops & the lights go up again.* O'Hare: Aside from being destroyed by this group of lads here a few days ago [he gestures towards Team Ireland], I can't think of a single damn thing! On three occasions over the past two months, Paul clashed with Team Ireland in one way or another & on three occasions WE have emerged victorious! Now, Paul, I know you're probably watching this as you lie there in your hospital bed & I just wanted to say, whenever you get back, I hope you're ready for more of the same! You can keep coming at us all you want, but YOU WILL NEVER BEAT THE IRISH! *O'Hare hands the microphone over to Dr. Vivian, she giggles slightly & removes the mourning veil she was wearing.* Vivian: Oh, Paulie. As Pat already noted, you're lying in a hospital somewhere, but I hope my message gets to you. I hope that from now on you'll think twice before EVER thinking of crossing me in that manner again! I brought you to the very top of the tag-team ranks in EWT & all you could do afterwards was moan about it. You were, for some reason, annoyed by the fact that I brought you to such great success. That confused me deeply. I couldn't understand why you now hated me. But that's of little consequence now, as you can clearly see, I have managed to emerge as the victor in our little battle, as you lie with severe injuries &, I hope, a lesson well-learned. *She hands the mic to Curly Long* Curly: In all honesty, I'll miss ol' Podunkles. [Mr. Big whispers in Curly's ear]... Spolanski... Whatever! He was a guy that really, really knew how ta... um... do whatever he did really well, maybe, I guess. Look, I was just invited here by the Coach, I don't know a thing about the guy. He was probably okay, I guess. *Curly hands the mic back to O'Hare. O'Hare is about to go on another tirade when the crowd begins cheering. Raskall & Trunk storm the ring, both men carrying a steel-chair each. With the element of surprise on their side, Trunk tosses Curly Long out of the ring & Rick Raskall disposes of O'Hare with a swift superkick. After this, however, the men find themselves surrounded by Team ireland & Mr. Big. Big & the Irishmen attempt to close in, forming a circle around Raskall & Trunk. As the circle comes to a close, Raskall & Trunk slip out, causing Big & Team Ireland to go crashing into eachother. Trunk slides the chairs onto his arms & gives Shane Malone a one man Con-Chair-To. He ducks an attack by Mr. Big & digs him in the stomach with one of the chairs. Raskall, meanwhile, has got a ladder out from under the ring. sliding it into the ring, he lifts it onto his shoulders & begins spinning around, taking down, Aidan Donnelly, Sean McCann & a dazed Mr. Big. The crowd cheer their approval. Raskall drops the ladder, trunk drops the chairs & the two go to high-five eachother, until they see that Liam O'Neill is still standing. Liam points at them!* Liam: YOU! *He moves towards Trunk throwing feeble blows at a confused Marcus. Trunk moves backwards until he's at the ropes. Liam Irish whips Trunk to the opposite side of the ring & Marcus grabs the ropes while Liam stands with his foot eleveated in mid-ring. Raskall taps Liam on the shoulder & gives him the "L.A. Twist", before tossing him out of the ring. Raskall & Trunk pick up the empty coffin Team Ireland left behind them & dump it to the floor outside. Raskall then gets a microphone.* Raskall: If I may say a few words on behalf the dearly missed Paul Podanski: *Raskall motions to Trunk, who takes a folded sheet of paper out of his pocket and hands in to Raskall. Raskall opens it up and reads from it.*
Though he may lie in bed with a beer in his hand He has not forgotten Team Ireland For once he's released from the infirmary's grasp He'll kick each and every one of your ass With beer cans and bottles and swift lefts and rights And finally a Paulerbomb to finish your night He'll float like a butterfly and sting like a bee And soften you up for our TLC Where Raskall and Trunk will leave you bruised and cramped And walk out of the building...as NEW tag team champs!
*Raskall tosses the paper away as O'Hare's face turns completely red with rage as Team Ireland continues to retreat up the ramp.*
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Post by Virus aka Captain No-Nuts on Jan 2, 2007 22:46:38 GMT -5
(We fade into the EWT arena to see a beat-up Lincoln Towncar pull up to the arena parking lot. It finds a spot and parks, and after a few moments a haggard-looking Virus gets out of the vehicle as the crowd cheers.)
JR: Mah Gawd, Virus is back! Virus has been missing for about three weeks here in the EWT, after phoning in a match against his last opponent, simply hitting the Infection, getting the pin, and leaving!
Styles: Indeed he had a fast match, but what I'm more curious about is why he looks so... worn out... like he's been to hell and back.
(Virus silently walks through the lot and into the backstage area, passing by a few stage hands, who look incredulously at him. Virus ignores them and continues to walk through the hallway until he comes to the matchboard. He finds his name and, inexplicably, smiles.)
Sum Guy: I'm Sum Guy, and I'm in your fridge, eating all your foods. I'm here with a suddenly-returning Virus, and everybody wants to know: Where were you, Virus?!
(Virus turns to Sum Guy, the smile still on his face.)
Virus: I really don't think where I was or what I was doing is important to you, or the EWT viewers. What is important is that I'm BACK now... and my road back to my previous position of importance in this company begins this week.
Andy Duke... I'll give you this much: you're going places in this business. You did good at Season's Beatings... but skill in bashing somebody's head in with a steel chair or a cinder block or a light tube or... whatever the hell the weapon of the week is -- isn't going to help you this week. You... me... 1 on 1. And if you think you have a snowball's chance in hell of beating me... you had better PREPARE... TO BE... INFECTED!
(Virus does his trademark "walk off-camera, leaving interviewer in his wake" schtick as we fade to commercial.)
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Post by HMARK Center on Jan 3, 2007 0:15:10 GMT -5
Gary Michael Cappetta: Hey EWT fans, do we have a scoop for you! As more footage from after Season's Beatings begins to surface, some questions are answered, and some just become more confusing! Right now, we have footage of HMark and Moxie following their match against Team LEO <footage shows HMark elbowing Joel in the side of the head, knocking him out>, one of the more brutal, some might even say uncomfortable, matches we've seen here in a very long time.
Let's roll the tape.
<In the locker room, HMark sits, still in ring gear, only undoing his wrist tape as he stares down at the floor. Auraelia is sitting next to him, a consoling hand on his back, while Moxie stands in workout wind pants over his gear>
Moxie: <turning towards the camera> Credit should be given where it's due. Team LEO, Mike, Joel...you lost a match tonight.
But you won respect.
Respect from the fans, respect from the boys in the locker room, and, yes, even from us. I'll be blunt: I didn't think you boys had it in you to step toe-to-toe with us like that. Maybe we took you too lightly, maybe we didn't step up our game enough, I don't know, but it's rare that a team steps into the ring with the Prophecy Reborn and endures as much as you did without screaming "I quit" along the way.
But, for all your grit and guts, boys, and for as much as you might feel you had something to prove to the world, for as big as the chip on your collective shoulder may have been...we, on the other hand, have nothing more to prove.
3-2. We won, you lost. The story's over, our sights go back towards the World Tag Team Titles, life goes on.
You had your chance, you made as much of it as you could.
But it's the only chance you're getting.
</Moxie walks out, and Auraelia, slowly standing, follows. The camera closes in on HMark, still seated, who's now cradling his head in between his hands, shaking it, before looking up and rubbing his hands across it>
HMark: I don't know, friend. I just don't know.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Jan 3, 2007 0:25:02 GMT -5
*Spaz is walking through the hallway. He comes around the corner & he sees Spyke Johansson.*
S: Hey Spyke, hows things?
SJ: Yeah ok I guess. It's good to see you getting back to your best.
S: Thanks, it means alot coming from you. I know I haven't been around much lately. I'm sorry, I have been a terrible friend. But just remember, now that I am back I still have your back. If you need anything just ask.
*Spaz extends his hand to Spyke. Spyke looks at it & he pushes it away. Spaz looks dejected & he turns around to walk away but Spyke stops him & then hugs him.*
SJ: You and I are still solid as always bro.
S: Thanks, Spyke that means alot to me.
*They head off in opposite directions down the corridor. Spyke stops & he turns around.*
SJ: Hey Spaz.
S: Yeah Spyke?
SJ: Gen Tech for life!
*We cut to commercial.*
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ape
Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Jan 3, 2007 9:03:27 GMT -5
*the camera fades onto what appears to be the outside of an old deli. the windows are covered in dust and the door is partially boarded up. visible in one of the dusty windows is a sign that reads "closed." after a few seconds, an object is thrown from inside the deli and through that very window to the outside. the camera zooms into the object to reveal it to be a wooden carving of a cheese sandwich.
manic laughter is heard in the background, coming from inside the deli, and the camera pans up to see a single hand reaching up to the "closed" sign. after struggling, the hand grabs the sign and flips it over to make it read "open." another hand then appears and the two hands slam down onto the broken glass-covered window frame and pull up the source of the laughter, psychoapeguy, who begins to speak*
...hehe...dorf....you know, my air time is limited these days....i'm unable to speak as freely as i once did....i've been told that if i acted upon the thoughts in my mind...hehe....that i very well could end up in jail for attempted murder....hehe....that's why this sport is such a wonderful thing....hehe....anything i do to you....is legal....hehe....forget the fact that i'm crippled from the waist down....hehe....the fact is that i am....was....and always will be the toughest son of a daisy to ever step foot in an ewt ring...whether i'm crippled or not, you better think again if you think you can take me, dorfy poo hehe....and since you seem so confident....since you're a former world champion....since i'm sure that you only want things to be fair....hehe....let's make it interesting....
*ape headbutts the window frame and violently rakes his forehead amongst the broken glass. he then looks up into the camera with his face covered in blood.*
....hehe let's make it a deathmatch.....a first of its kind.....dorf....if you want a piece of me....you can have it....in a paraplegic deathmatch....hehe....a match where both competitors are unable to move their bodies from the waist down...hehe...let's see how many of your threats you can back up when you're unable to move your lower body just like me....hehe....add various weapons, barbed-wire, and explosives....and you've got the paraplegic deathmatch...hehe...think you can adapt to my world, dorf?...hehe...think that your mind can twist and bend enough to see the horror in the posibilities of this match like mine can?....hehe...
*ape blows a mist of blood from his face and slowly lowers himself from the window.*
....hehe....i hope so.....i so miss the blood....so, so miss the blood.....
*the camera slowly fades away from the deli and fades to black.*
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Post by teamireland on Jan 3, 2007 14:29:21 GMT -5
*Terry Taylor stands in the ring making stupid rooster like motions when "Amhrán na bhFiann" begins playing.* Toni "The Garc" Garcya: His opponent, representing Team Ireland, weighing in at 209lbs... LIAM O'NEILL! *The usual green white & gold pyro explodes & Liam begins to strum an air guitar in time to the rocked-up version of his national anthem. Instead of his usual wrestling gear, Liam is wearing tights that have been tye-dyed green & gold, on each leg he wears a white knee-pad over the tights. He's also sporting a tricoloured feather boa, a green bandana & a thick, green, leather weight lifting belt with the word "Ireland" written on the back. He still wears his Team Ireland Gaelic shirt. On his way down the ramp he cups his hand at his ear & the fans boo him vociferously. Liam continues to strut down the ramp, strumming at his air guitar. Once in the ring he continues to cup his ear with his hand & the crowd continues to boo him unmercifully. He grabs the collar of his shirt with both hands & tries to tear it in half. Embarassingly for him, he's too weak to do so, so he merely removes it & throws it out to the crowd. The Red Rooster, meanwhile, stands back & relishes the fact that he's not the stupidest looking guy in the ring right now.* Jerome "The Lord" East:What the hell is Liam O'Neill doing? Why is he acting like a certain copyrighted character we can't mention? Nick Russ: It seems as though O'Neill really has gone insane, you saw how many knocks on the head he took during his match against Mysth. I was surprised he was able to finish that match at all. The Red Rooster's attacking him already!
*The Rooster has indeed, begun an assault on Liam. O'Neill was too busy playing to the crowd too notice. Taylor attacks from behind, clubbing Liam right in the back of the neck. Instantly, Liam turns around & points at the Rooster...* Liam: ...YOU! *Liam starts punching at Taylor, knocking him further & firther back until the Rooster is back up against the ropes. Liam grabs him & whips Taylor across the ring. Liam stands in place with his foot in the air. Taylor goes running right into the Big Boot. Liam cups his hand to his ear again & begins clapping his hands together. Liam bounds off the ropes with an Atomic Leg Drop to the Red Rooster! He covers...*
1...
2...
3!!!
DING-DING! Garcya: Here is your winner... LIAM... O'NEILL! *Before his music can even begin Liam takes a microphone.* Liam: Listen up, dudes! Only one week ago, I lifted that 800lb French Giant right over my head & slammed him to the mat with enough force to crack the earth. Now, I've heard the rumors that he might just have been able to survive that assault & that he's eager for a re-match with the only man to pin him in his unbeaten career... Russ: Now this is just crazy! Mysth certainly wasn't "unbeaten". Chad Ocean & O'Neill's own partner Shane Malone both pinned him! And everyone knows that Liam lost to Mysth. Liam: ...I said before, brother, I'm ready for any re-match that he might want to bring on! I'm a REAL AMERICAN, brother! I don't back down from any fight, especially not from a stinky French dude! So, whatcha gonna do, Mysth, WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN LIAM-MANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU?! *A dodgy rip-off version of "Real American" begins playing as Liam exits the ring & heads back-up the ramp.*
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Jan 3, 2007 15:33:12 GMT -5
Joe One stands in the middle of the ring to a chorus of boos as 'Hell March' plays.
One: I have been told that someone has accepted my challenge. Unlike Mr. Ragnal, I hope he shows up.
Boos. One throws the microphone to the outside as 'Ole' by Bouncing Souls starts up. Out comes the new sensation(?), El Superior! One makes an indignant look as he sees his opponent.
El Superior enters the ring and the bell is rung.
*ding ding ding*
El Superior extends his hand. The crowd cheers for the honour shown by this new luchador. Joe One looks to the crowd before shaking El Superior's hand. As it turns out, El Superior had a Joy Buzzer in his hand! The crowd laughs and applauds him as Joe One gets himself together. As Superior turns back to One, One lands an Airstrip Kiss on Superior! He quickly puts on the Sleeper Hold, which, after a few futile seconds, Superior taps to.
*ding ding ding*
Announcer: Here is your winner....Joe One!
One lets go of the Sleeper Hold and Superior falls to the floor. Joe squats as he looks at his fallen foe. He shakes his head in admonishment. He stands back up and walks to the back.
*COMMERCIAL BREAK, PERHAPS*
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Post by Banned Member on Jan 3, 2007 17:43:49 GMT -5
*Two EWT preliminary guys are wrestling in the ring. All of a sudden the arena goes dark except for the a little light at the top of the entrance way. Red, and black smoke fill up the area as The Monster is loose starts up, and when it hits the first guitar riff. A big pyro goes off, and Merc walks though the flames with two title belts that are blurred out to the TV viewers at home. Merc walks slowly to the ring staring straight ahead at the two prelim guys. Who have stopped wrestling, and are still in the ring looking at Merc.
Merc grabs the mic from the announcer on his way by, and he walks up the ring steps. Merc steps between the ropes, and looks at the two young men in the ring.*
Merc: If you two value your EWT career get the f***k out of this ring now!
*The two wrestler jump out of the ring.*
Merc: Well guys I'm back!!! Did you really think I was going to leave you all.
*The fans pop*
Merc: And look I got some nice belts to show you. Oh wait thats right there from two other companies. Well that doesn't help us out any huh? Hell me being out here with these belts might just give me a good ole suspension from the EWT, and all you fans.
*The fans boo at the idea of that.*
Merc: But know what I say about that. I say if your going to do that. Do it right the hell now! I don't care! I am going back to what made me a superstar here, and that is just not caring! So I warn all of you EWT wrestlers out there what I'm about to say you may not like, but I don't care!
*The fans are chanting Mercs name loudly now.*
Merc: Issue number one, and that is you Mike Ragnal. Why is it every time I do something you got to complain about it? I thought we were at a truce, and you go, and say that EWT would be better off without me? Well I beg to differ, but isn't funny you won't wrestle me here, but have no problem doing it for another fed. Yes you may have won that battle, but you will not win the war. That I can assure you.
Merc: Now we got another problem, and that is Chrysta. Chrysta you have something that belongs to me, and I will leave it at that for these fans know who I am talking about.
*Merc paces the ring a bit before he talks again.*
Merc: You know what else is funny. That I am one of EWTs most decorated champions , but can't seem to get any damn respect around here. I mean for crying out loud look at this gold I'm wearing, and not to mention the fact that I have held the Tri State title twice, but people rather talk about a damn dream angle that happened when I first started here. Well you know what get the hell over it! I swear it's like these guys are Bret Hart fans or something. Though I respect them guys a hella lot more.
*Merc looks at the fans for a moment*
Merc: You know what else is funny. How many people I have put over in the last year, and what do I get in return. I get to be a slave for a month! Wasn't that fun!?
*The fans boo*
Merc: Ya wasn't for me either, but damn I sure as hell showed Chance in the end huh?
*The fans pop again at this.*
Merc: Now I know I've been venting for the last few minutes, but to get right to the point. I'm back to the good ole Merc, and that means I plan on kicking ass, and taking names. So this here is an open challenge to anyone in the back! That is if you have the balls to get in the ring with me! I don't care if it for a title. I don't care if it is that fat ass Sum Guy or a GND wrestler. I just want an actual challenge for once, and I will prove why the Mercenary that doesn't care is the most lethal one!
*Merc tosses the mic, and leaves the ring.*
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