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Post by chanceconfidence on Jan 3, 2007 17:59:11 GMT -5
Chance meanwhile is watching this backstage, however he's not ready for ny match it seems. Instead, he's got a handful of luggage... or more accurately, some schmoe is carrying it for him. He gives a rather uncaring look to Merc.
Chance: You know what... I'm not gonna even give that rogue the satisfaction. Let him have his garbage position on the card back... as for me, I need a vacation. C'mon bag boy... or you won't get that shiney nickel I promised you.
The man turns around, carrying all this luggage and nodding, as Chance is seen simply strolling out the front door to exactly no fanfare at all... as we fade to commercial
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Jan 3, 2007 18:25:23 GMT -5
(Backstage Dusty Rhodes approaches Ultimo's dressing room for another one of his five star interviews. Are these getting old yet? Anyway, He opens the door and there sits UC on the sofa listening to his buddies PsyToni Tennille and The Daryl Dragon perform "Muskrat Love". They finish the song and turn to UC.)
Tennille: "Well? What do you think?"
UC: "Nah. It'll never be a hit."
Tennille: (laughing) "Oh Ultimo! You're such a kidder! (sees Dusty) Look, Daryl! We have a visitor! I'll go get the crab cakes!"
Dusty: "Ooh! I like dem crab cakes! They tasty!"
UC: "You'd better bring out the industrial size barrel, PsyToni! This guy's a regular Saarlac Pit!"
Dusty: "Oh boy! I's eatin' tonight!"
UC: "Not so fast, Tons O' Fun. I believe there's an interview to be had, right?"
Dusty: "Ooh! Dat's right! I almost fergot! Here we go! Hi there, folks! This is the AmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmericanDreamDuthtyRhoteth! Looky here! This week on the muthaship Ul-Tee-Mo is goin' one on one with that newcomah Cathinova! He one han'some man! He a lady killah, you unnerstan'! He say he the sexies' man here in the EWT! What do you thank, Ul-Tee-Mo?"
UC: "What? Another one? Jumpin' Jeebus on a pogo stick! Where do these clowns who think they're gawd's gift come from? We got HBO, we had Dyno-Mutt, even Curly Fries! Listen up, Casserole! There's only one guy up in this *BEEP!* who the ladies love, and you're lookin' at him, biscuit head! I'm rated number one on the EWT Estrogen Brigade website and it's a long, long drop down to number two! I'm 5' 10" of super rad and sex appeal wrapped up in a flour tortilla and dunked in hunk sauce! And you wanna know why? Take a look at this! Camera man! Zoom!"
(UC unzips his jacket and shows off his abs.)
UC: "You see that, bean pole! That's money! This is the bod that's stabled to bed room ceilings the world over! I'm so cut I can make a carbon copy! Watch this!"
(UC takes out a piece of paper and a slab of chalk and makes an imprint of his stomach, then holds it up to the camera.)
UC: "There you go, Casserole! Here's your girl's birthday present, cuz you know this is what she really wants! But I didn't come here to talk about that!"
(UC throws the paper and chalk behind him Swedish Chef style and continues his rant)
UC: "Everybody saw it! They all saw me and my main man The Daryl Dragon take it to Curly Fries and the umber hulk! They saw me torque that munchkin's back so hard he was pissing in his pampers and tapping in no time flat! Everybody saw that the team of Ultimo Dragon is hot stuff beefaroni, and we're the next big thing in the tag team division! Curly Fries and the umberhulk can try again if they wanna, but the result is gonna be the same! Ricketts and Truck? They got nuthin'! The Celtics? To them I say "Ha!" and "Foo!" and "Ick!" and "Thtptpt!" And that goes for Probably Bored, Team PU, and the rest of those also rans as well! You see that mother *BEEP!*er over there behind the Korg? That's the best partner I've ever had! Look at him!"
(The camera pans over to The Dragon, who's smiling like a dope, then back to UC.)
UC: "That guy is an Pew 36 Explosive Space Modulator just waiting to erupt in an Earth shattering KABOOM! So if anybody wants a piece of Ultimo Dragon all they gotta do is fill out the request form in the EWT front office and check the box that says "Yes, I want to be jobber fodder for the greatest tag team ever" then wait your *BEEP!*ing turn! Ultimo Dragon is here and all that's left is to print the t-shirts!"
(PsyToni walks in, tray of crab cakes in tow, grinning and rolls her eyes)
PsyToni: "Oh Ultimo! He's like this all the time!"
Dusty: "What about chew, Thy Tonee! What do you thank about the Ul-Tee-Mo Draggin?"
PsyToni: "We're just thrilled to be here and would love the opportunity to be the tag team champions! That would be just keen!"
Dusty: "Uh huh! You got it! And what about chew, Draggin? How you feelin', Jack!"
(Dusty puts the mic in front of The Dragon and everybody waits in suspense for his reply.)
Dragon: "How do you fight off a 500 foot frog? With your hat! Grab it and run!"
(Canned laughter.)
Dusty: "A man a few words, baby! I love it, I love it! You heard it here first! Ul-Tee-Mo! The Draggin! You better look out! You better watch yerself! They comin' after you!"
UC: "Damn straight! Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to Saran Wrap all the toilets in the bathrooms."
(UC leaves the room and PsyToni speaks up.)
PsyToni: "Say, Dream. I heard that you like music! Daryl and I have been practicing and we thought you'd like to hear our new song!"
Dusty: "Ooh! New song! Lemme hear it!"
(The Captain and PsyToni do an even lamer version of "American Dream" as Dusty wobbles around we go to commercial.)
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Post by Gasoline: Gen. Tech Member on Jan 3, 2007 19:04:00 GMT -5
*Cut to the Generation Tech locker room. Gasoline is preparing for his match with HBH when Spaz walks in*
Spaz: Hey, how are you feelin'?
Gas: OK, I guess.
Spaz: I can't believe you're really leaving.
Gas: Me either. I thought I'd be here for a long time. A lot of memories here, from my time with Bret to joining you, Spyke, and Limey. I'm still a bit upset over not having won the EWT title, but I had a great time here. I'm going to miss this place.
Spaz: Well, no matter what happens or where you end up, you'll always have a friend in me.
Gas: Thanks. And who knows? Maybe sometime down the road, I'll come back and resume my quest for the title.
Spaz: Maybe. But until then, Generation Tech forever.
*Spaz puts out a hand for a handshake*
Gas: Forever.
*Gas shakes Spaz's hand, and the two hug*
Spaz: Take care of yourself.
Gas: You too.
*Spaz then exits, and Gas continues prepping for his match*
*Cut to the next segment*
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Post by dorf on Jan 3, 2007 20:36:53 GMT -5
*the camera fades onto what appears to be the outside of an old deli. the windows are covered in dust and the door is partially boarded up. visible in one of the dusty windows is a sign that reads "closed." after a few seconds, an object is thrown from inside the deli and through that very window to the outside. the camera zooms into the object to reveal it to be a wooden carving of a cheese sandwich. manic laughter is heard in the background, coming from inside the deli, and the camera pans up to see a single hand reaching up to the "closed" sign. after struggling, the hand grabs the sign and flips it over to make it read "open." another hand then appears and the two hands slam down onto the broken glass-covered window frame and pull up the source of the laughter, psychoapeguy, who begins to speak* ...hehe...dorf....you know, my air time is limited these days....i'm unable to speak as freely as i once did....i've been told that if i acted upon the thoughts in my mind...hehe....that i very well could end up in jail for attempted murder....hehe....that's why this sport is such a wonderful thing....hehe....anything i do to you....is legal....hehe....forget the fact that i'm crippled from the waist down....hehe....the fact is that i am....was....and always will be the toughest son of a daisy to ever step foot in an ewt ring...whether i'm crippled or not, you better think again if you think you can take me, dorfy poo hehe....and since you seem so confident....since you're a former world champion....since i'm sure that you only want things to be fair....hehe....let's make it interesting.... *ape headbutts the window frame and violently rakes his forehead amongst the broken glass. he then looks up into the camera with his face covered in blood.* ....hehe let's make it a deathmatch.....a first of its kind.....dorf....if you want a piece of me....you can have it....in a paraplegic deathmatch....hehe....a match where both competitors are unable to move their bodies from the waist down...hehe...let's see how many of your threats you can back up when you're unable to move your lower body just like me....hehe....add various weapons, barbed-wire, and explosives....and you've got the paraplegic deathmatch...hehe...think you can adapt to my world, dorf?...hehe...think that your mind can twist and bend enough to see the horror in the posibilities of this match like mine can?....hehe... *ape blows a mist of blood from his face and slowly lowers himself from the window.* ....hehe....i hope so.....i so miss the blood....so, so miss the blood..... *the camera slowly fades away from the deli and fades to black.* *Camera turns back awaiting Dorf's response* Dorf: A paraplegic deathmatch....you say? Where I cannot move my legs and footsies...and control my member? Plus various weapons such as barbed wire, tnt, steel chairs, etc.?
I ACCEPT!
....with one exception. If we do not find the secret location underneath the ring for the truth serum (two separate locations) within twenty-five (25) minutes of our Paraplegic Deathmatch, then you or I will be paralyzed for the rest of our lives.
ALSO, Toomi Bischoff must sign the match into existence for the next ppv.
The power of the Cheese Sandwich will compel you, ape and YOU WILL KNOW YER SOUL AND SHUT YER TRAP AFTER I FINISH YOU IN A BLOODY, HALF-LIFE MESS YOU WILL BECOME!
*pauses for cheers* ....and Mr. Ratings, my match of the week contender. You will learn why I am the DORFSTOPPER...because YOU WILL GET YOUR...JUST DO! *camera fades for commercial.*
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Post by Poker Joker on Jan 3, 2007 21:09:17 GMT -5
(The scene opens up in the E.W.T. interview area. In the background is a blue backdrop with the E.W.T. logo on it. In front of it stands E.W.T. Reporter Terri Runnels with a smile on her face and a microphone in her hands. Beside her is the one and only Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark, who is dressed in his wrestling garb. Billy is rubbing his hands and has a large grin going across his lips. He seems quite eager for this interview to start, which Terri promptly does.)
*TERRI* (facing the camera): This is Terri Runnels reporting for E.W.T. Television and with me is one superstar who is filled with anticipation, right now.... Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark. (Terri turns to Billy) Billy, you seem to be on the edge of your seat. Does this have anything to do with the match that you just signed with your recent rival, Spaz?
(Billy claps his hands together one time as if to release some of his energy. His grin turns into a huge smile as he starts answering Terri's question.)
*BU*: Oh, yes it does, Terri! Yes it does! I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just came down the stairs and saw that Santa had left him the biggest, shiniest present of all time under the tree. And believe me, this is one present that I can't wait to tear open. Because inside that package is what I've been wanting for months.... a one-on-one match with Spaz, the company's Golden Boy, himself! Finally, I get a chance to show the world exactly why I deserve another shot at the E.W.T. World Championship... a shot which I've been wrongly denied for months! And I get to do it while exposing Spaz for the cowardly pile of garbage that he really is.
*TERRI*: "Cowardly pile of garbage? Spaz? I see that your opinions of the former World Champion haven't changed at all.
(Billy gives Terri a surprised look.)
*BU*: Of coure not! Why should they have? Look at what's been going on for the past couple months! Hell, look at what's been going on for YEARS! Spaz and I came into this company at almost the same time, but you'll notice that our careers have gone in seriously different directions. From the first day he set foot in the door, Spaz has been given everything he's ever wanted. He's been given opportunity after opportunity, and he's never had to earn any of them. He's been given a long list of second-rate oponents to make his name on in a fraudulent attempt to prove his greatness. Eventually he was even handed the company's biggest prize... The E.W.T. World Championship! All along the way, this company has catered to every whim Spaz has ever had. The E.W.T. has allowed Spaz to build up a golden reputation as one of this company's top superstars, and base it on nothing but garbage.
(Billy pauses for a moment and scratches at the tape around one of his wrists. His expression seems to become more angry.)
*BU*: Meanwhile, as Spaz was living the good life, I've had to fight and claw for everything I've ever accomplished in this company. Ulike Spaz, I was never given any golden ticket to the top or grand entrance. Unlike Spaz, Nobody ever held the door of opportunity open for me. Instead, I had to pick the lock and pry it open, myself. Heck, at one time I was practically begging the commissioner at that time for just the opportunity to get my first chance to wrestle in the E.W.T. Unlike Spaz, I had to bust my ass to make a name for myself! A name that now includes me being considered one of the greatest Tri-State Champions of all time, as well as being considered one-half of the greatest Tag-Team Champions in E.W.T. history,... AND not mention being considered the hottest young superstar this company has ever seen!
(Billy stops for a moment, breathing heavily. The smile on his face from the start of the interview is gone and now replaced by a full scowl.)
*BU*: Yet, I don't get shot after shot at the E.W.T. World Championship! Unlike Spaz, I don't get to bask in the glory of the spotlight! Unlike Spaz, despitethe countless amazing matches I've had, I'm not held up to be one of the top competitors the E.W.T. has to offer. And Unlike Spaz, I'm still not given respect in this company.... respect that I SORELY deserve.
(Billy runs his fingers through his black hair as he pauses, again. He stares at Terri with a cold glare.)
*BU*: And why is this? Simple! Because, unlike Spaz, I am a VIRGIN! And ever since I've walked through the door of this company, I've been a victim of Virgin Discrimination. Many people have stood before me and laughed in my face. They've mocked me and tried to push me aside because of my sexual status. They've told me that Virgins don't belong in this company, and they've tried to hold me down. But through all that adversity, I've still managed to succede! Despite the best attempts to keep me from achieving my goals of making a name for myself in this company, I've managed to climb the ladder.... rung after rung... and title after title. Now, I'm only a few rungs away on that ladder from achieving my dream of becoming the E.W.T. World Champion. But once again, someone is trying to hold me down. Someone is afraid that a Virgin is going to try and steal their spotlight. And that someone is SPAZ!
(Terri stand there holding the microphone and shaking her head.)
*TERRI*: Seriously, Billy! You can't believe this!
*BU* (practically yelling): Of course I believe it! Look at the history! Four times, now! FOUR TIMES Spaz has screwed me out of the E.W.T. Championship! From the first time we squared off in the ring, when he failed to beat me in defense of his World Championship, but then refused to give me a rematch, to the most recent time when he caught me by surprise in a six-man match at "Symphony of Destruction" and eliminated me in one of the cheapest fashions possible! And let's not even talk about how long he's been ducking my challenges for a one-on-one match between the two of us! Spaz has been avoiding this match for a long time because he's afraid! He's afraid for his reputation. He's afraid for being exposed as being a CHUMP instead of a champ. And most of all, he's afraid that he's gong to get beat by a Virgin, and he's got a good right to be, because that's exactly what WILL happen, and it will happen SOON!
*TERRI*: Ok! OK! Let's talk about that match between you and Spaz, then. The commissioner allowed you to pick the type of match the two of you would have and you decided on a ladder match. Why?
*BU*: Simple, Terri! Like I said, ever since he came to the E.W.T., Spaz has never had to make a name for himself like I have. In short, he's never had to CLIMB THE LADDER to achieve success. So now, I'm going to make him climb the ladder. In this match, he'll HAVE to climb the ladder if he wants to survive what'll be the beating of his life.
(Billy slowly starts to smile.)
*BU*: But he won't be able to do it. Because, you see, Spaz isn't used to climbing ladders like I am. I've had to climb the ladder for my entire E.W.T. career just to make a name for myself. When Spaz and I meet in this ladder match, I'll gladly climb it one more time to make my name even bigger! And in the process, I'll prove to the world and to this company, that I'M the one who deserves to be on the top of the ladder in the E.W.T.... and that Spaz doesn't even deserve to be on the first rung.
(With that, Billy turns around and walks away. Terri turns and faces the camera.)
*TERRI*: Ladies and gentlemen, there you have it from Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark! For E.W.T. Television, I'm Terri Runnels telling you to stick around! There's more great action coming to you from in the ring, so stay tuned!
(With that, the camera zooms in on Terri's face as the scene fades to black.)
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Post by Oceanic on Jan 4, 2007 12:40:47 GMT -5
The Fink: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the Tri State Championship. Introducing first, from Hawaii............................Oceanic!"
("From Sinking" comes on and Oceanic walks out from the back to boos from the fans which she pays no mind to. She walks into the ring and stands in the corner watching the ramp, waiting for her opponent.)
The Fink: "And her opponent, he is the current Tri State Champion, from Scranton, PA.......................Mike Ragnal!"
("High Voltage" comes on over the PA and the crowd cheers for Mike, who comes out on the ramp and poses for the fans with the Tri State title over his shoulder. He enters the ring and hops up on the turnbuckles, holding the title up for the fans. He hops off and his music dies down. Mike hands the belt to the referee and walks to the center of the ring where Oceanic meets him. The bell rings and we're off.
Oceanic stares a hole through Mike, who is wondering aloud what has gotten into her. Suddenly Oceanic rears back and slaps Mike across the face. Mike feels his face and gives Oceanic a dirty look. He gets right up in Oceanic's grill and jaws at her some more, which gets him another slap in the face. Mike is pretty pissed off but he doesn't retaliate. He pokes his finger in Oceanic's chest and says none too pleasant things. Oceanic goes back to slap him again but this time Mike blocks it and slaps Oceanic right in her mouth. The crowd pops big time as Oceanic feels her face and gets super pissed super fast. Oceanic charges Mike, who side steps her and hip tosses her over on the rebound. Oceanic scrambles up but gets hip tossed again. Oceanic slides out of the ring to think things over as Mike motions for her to come on and gets cheered by the fans. Oceanic circles the ring, not taking her eyes off Mike, and when the ref's count gets to six she gets on the ring apron. Oceanic tells Mike to back up or else she won't get in. Mike backs up and she enters, but when Mike approaches she exits and walks around the ring again to the boos from the fans and the ref starts the count again. Oceanic tells the ref to send Mike back and he does, she then gets on the apron. Oceanic gets into the ropes but when she sees Mike approach she bails out again. Oceanic begins to back up the ramp way as the fans call her a coward, among other things. The referee's count is up to seven before she walks back down to ring side. She slides under the bottom rope and this time Mike charges and lowers the boom with an elbow drop to the back of her head. He drags her away from the ropes so she can't roll out again and stands her up on her feet. Mike chops Oceanic across the chest ("WHOOOOO!") and again ("WHOOOOOO!") and sends Oceanic into the ropes. Mike sets up for a clothesline but Oceanic grabs the rope, stopping her momentum, and slides out of the ring. Mike stomps the mat in frustration as Oceanic walks around the ring again. Mike gets fed up and runs out of the ring, chasing Oceanic. Oceanic runs around two ring posts and slides back into the ring, then turns and stomps Mike when he rolls in. Oceanic repays the favor with two chops across the chest on Mike ("WHOOOOO! WHOOOOOO!" and sends Mike into the ropes, but he reverses and body slams Oceanic down to the mat. Oceanic slides out of the ring again as Mike hits the ropes for momentum for what was going to be an elbow drop. Mike gets fed up and runs over to the ropes and grabs Oceanic by the hair. Oceanic suddenly punches Mike right in the mouth and he lets go while leaning over the middle rope, checking for missing teeth. Oceanic hops up on the apron and hits Mike with a running kick to the head, which sends Mike back into the ring flat on his back. Oceanic gets back into the ring and stomps on Mike a couple times. Oceanic tries for a suplex but Mike reverses and hits a suplex of his own. Mike is up takes Oceanic over with a snapmare and follows with a dropkick to the back. Mike covers.
1...............
Oceanic kicks out. Mike delivers a forearm to the chest and sends Oceanic into the ropes and hits her with a BAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP! followed by a running senton on her chest. Mike covers again.
1................ 2......................
Kick out. Mike sends Oceanic into the rope and gives her a drop toe hold, then runs the ropes himself and baseball slides right into her face. He gives her a small package and goes for the win.
1........................ 2..........................
Oceanic kicks out. Mike winds up Oceanic's arm and puts pressure on it, doubling her over. Mike grinds his elbow into her shoulder, forcing her down to one knee. Suddenly Oceanic flips over onto her back and grabs Mike with a head scissors, causing him to release his hold and flip over onto the mat. Mike immediately kicks out of the head scissors and gets Oceanic in a side headlock. Oceanic pushes off and Mike shoulder blocks her down on the rebound. Mike hits the opposite ropes and leaps over Oceanic, hits the opposite ropes, and catches Oceanic's leap frog attempt turning into a Manhattan Drop. Mike winds up Oceanic's arm again and hits the short arm clothesline, but doesn't release his grip and pulls Oceanic up for another clothesline, then again, and again. After the fourth attempt Oceanic stays on the mat and Mike hooks the leg.
1............. 2...............
Kick out. Mike applies a front face lock as Oceanic struggles to get back up to her feet. After a few moments of struggling she manages to get up and push Mike back into the corner where the ref forces the break. Freed from the face lock Oceanic attempts a shoulder block in the corner but Mike sees it coming and knees her in the face as she comes in. Mike hops up on the second turnbuckle and attempts a sunset flip but Oceanic rolls right out of it and dropkicks Mike right in the face. Mike scrambles up and Oceanic charges but Mike dodges and she flops onto the ropes. Mike attempts a clothesline but suddenly Oceanic pulls down the top rope sending Mike up and over the top and down to the outside. A little dazed Mike gets up and turns just in time to see Oceanic diving through the ropes and taking him out with a suicide dive. Oceanic shakes off the effects and immediately punches away on Mike. She picks him up and sends him back first into the guard rail, picks him up again, then throws him into the ring steps. The crowd boos her as she rolls into the ring to break the count, then rolls back out again. Oceanic removes the protective mats around ringside to expose the concrete floor. She then grabs Mike and one handed bulldogs him down face first onto the concrete. She rolls back into the ring as the crowd chants a very obscene name at her while Mike slowly gets up with the help of the guardrail. Mike rolls under the bottom rope and Oceanic is there to stomp on him. After the seventh stomp Oceanic drapes her shin across Mike's throat and chokes him while using the ropes for leverage, breaking when the ref gets to four. Oceanic picks Mike up and hits him with a running spin heel kick and goes for the cover.
1................ 2...................
Mike kicks out. Oceanic kicks Mike in the stomach and hits an axed kick to the back of his head and rolls him up with the Mahistrol Cradle (or whatever it's called)
1............... 2..................
Kick out. Oceanic hits Mike with a snap suplex and follows up with the Lionsault/Double Leg Drop combo. Oceanic applies the Rat Trap dead center of the ring and the ref is there to check to see if Mike wants to quit. He shakes his head no and struggles to get out of it. Mike tries to get up onto one knee but Oceanic switches up and rolls Mike over onto his stomach, locking in an STF. Mike still won't quit but now has to work his way out of the new hold she put him in. Mike squirms his leg so it appears that he might be able to break it but once again Oceanic switches up and traps Mike in that front sitting Full Nelson thing (if anyone has the name for this let me know). Once again Mike has to work his way out of brand new hold and he struggles to free himself. Oceanic breaks the hold herself but uses Mike's own arm to pull him up to his feet and reels him right in to Super Kick. Oceanic covers.
1............... 2....................
Kick out. Oceanic pounds the mat in frustration but regains her cool and stands, waiting for Mike to get up himself. As Mike stands Oceanic attempts a Uranage, but Mike elbows his way out of it. Mike attempts an enziguri but Oceanic ducks it sending Mike stomach first down to the mat. Oceanic sends him into the corner and blasts him with a Knee Bazooka and rolls him up.
1................. 2......................
Kick out. Oceanic leaps on the downed Mike attempting to lock on TAAS but Mike counters is as best he can. Mike suddenly reaches up and clobbers Oceanic with a forearm and they both stagger up. Oceanic attempts a spinning heel kick but Mike catches her and gives her a modified Blue Thunder.
1............... 2................
Oceanic kicks out. Mike is up first and gives Oceanic three punches to the head, sends her into the ropes, and hits a Tilt A Whirl Backbreaker. Oceanic arches her back in pain and Mike uses that opportunity to hit a Lionsault on her stomach, knocking her air out. Mike covers again.
1................. 2..................
Oceanic gets the shoulder up. Mike hits a gut wrench suplex and holds on, picking her up and giving her a Bridging German Suplex.
1................. 2....................
Oceanic kicks out again. Mike sends Oceanic into the buckles and follows up with the 10 Punch and as Oceanic staggers out he hits her with a dropkick from the 2nd rope. Mike signals that it's all over and he picks Oceanic up onto his shoulders for the Ragnalrock. The crowd goes bonkers but suddenly Oceanic squirms her way out of it and lands on her feet behind him. She attempts to chop Mike when he turns but he ducks it. She then tries a foot sweep but Mike jumps over it. Mike attempts a clothesline but Oceanic ducks it. Mike turns and suddenly Oceanic spits a blue mist directly into his eyes. Mike hits the deck and scratching at his eyes, blinded, and the ref calls for the bell.)
The Fink: "Here is your winner, as a result of a disqualification, and still the EWT Tri State champion....................Mike Ragnal!"
(The crowd boos big time at Oceanic for resorting to a cheap shot but she could care less. She takes the blinded Mike, who's staggering around grabbing his eyes, and hits him with a double armed DDT in the middle of the ring. Oceanic then goes out to the time keeper's table and grabs the belt away from the dip stick who's in charge of holding on to it. She gets back into the ring and holds the belt up to the displeasure of pretty much everybody. Oceanic steps over the fallen Mike, looks back at him just before leaving the ring, then throws the Tri-State championship on him in disgust. She leaves the ring as the referee and some EMT's tend to Mike and try to get his vision back.)
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Jan 4, 2007 16:27:07 GMT -5
*We cut back from commercials and we' re seeing the arena, where Lilian Garcya is about to introduce the two opponents for tonight' s match-up !*
Lilian : Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is schedulded for one fall ! Introducing first, from Singapore, China, wheighing in at 250 lbs... SINGAPORE... CAINE !!
*"Do You Wanna Be A Hero?" hits and Singapore makes his way to the ring, getting a good reaction from the crowd. As he enters into the squared circle, he looks very confident. He hangs his cane up to the ropes and waits for his opponent to join him.*
Lilian : And his opponent, from Strasbourg, France, wheighing in at 238 lbs, a darkness in the light... MYSTH !!
*"Otherworld" hits and Mysth' s fireworks explode. Mysths finally appears and goes to the ring, all by high-fiving some fans in the process. He enters into the ring and watches Singapore Caine. The two men glance at each other with respect, but also with challenge. They wait for the belt...*
DING ! DING !
*And here we go ! The two men start by sizing up, but quickly lock up, to Caine' s advantage, as he hits a Belly to Belly, throwing Mysth on the ground. Caine immediately runs to Mysth, only to be stopped by a Drop Toe Hold. Mysth gets up, grabs Caine' s left leg, lifts his opponent and throws him back to the ground with the knee falling first. After nursing his knee, Singapore Caine gets back up, Mysth goes for a Clothesline, but Singapore dodges and, as Mysth turns back, kicks him in the guts and hits a DDT ! Singapore approaches Mysth and applies for the Singapore Deathlock !*
*Mysth is groaning in pain, Caine' s hold is locked very tight ! It seems to be very painful, but after much effort, Mysth grabs the ropes and the referee asks for a clean break. Mysth gets back to his feet, but Caine runs at him and jams him up against the turnbuckle ! Singapore starts punching Mysth, then pulls his hair and knocks his head against the turnbuckle ! Mysth falls on the ground, he seems unconscious ! Caine goes for the pin !*
ONE...
TWO...
TH... KICK OUT !!
*Caine can' t believe Mysth got back so quickly ! He seemed to have passed out ! Singapore Caine gets back up, and so does Mysth. Caine runs at Mysth, who counters with a Dropkick. Mysth then picks Caine up and performs a Suplex ! And now Mysth is looking at the turnbuckle ! He climbs it and gets ready for a Shooting Star Press ! He jumps... but Singapore Caine lifts his feet and kicks Mysth in the belly when he was about to land ! Mysth bounces against the feet and falls on the ground ! This is an opportunity for Caine to apply another deadly submission hold : the Singapore Spinal Tap ! He stands on Mysth' s spine and starts pulling his legs.*
*Amazingly enough, Mysth resists well, and he even manages to grab one of Caine' s legs, making him trip, and turn the hold into a Leg Lock, but the pain Mysth feels in his legs forces him to release the hold quicker than he expected.*
*Both men are once again back on their feet and look at each other all by trying to think of a way to take an advantage. Mysth thinks for too long and Caine drops him to the mat with a Shoulder Block. Now he Irish whips Mysth to the ropes, Mysth bounces and Singapore performs a Big Boot ! Mysth is slowly getting back up, but he' s groggy, and Caine turns around him and, once Mysth is fully on his feet, Caine hits the Singapore Neckbreaker ! And now Singapore Caine is climbing the turnbuckle ! He jumps ! Arm Drop !! But Mysth gets up just before he gets touched !!*
*Mysth is now looking at Singapore who' s lying on his back in pain, and he has a bad smirk on his face... he' s rising his right arm for... the Iron Claw !! Mysth is applying the pressure on Singapore Caine' s face ! And Singapore grabs Mysth' s arm, trying to take it away ! Mysth doesn' t let it go, but finally, Caine touches the ropes and manages to grab them, forcing Mysth to release the claw. Singapore Caine is nursing his face now. Mysth sees his opponentt isn' t paying attention and Irish whips him ! Mysth runs to the ropes ! Caine bounces against the ones at the other side of the ring ! Mysth is about to hit the Mysthical Chokeslam, but when they cross, Singapore Caine hits him with his elbow !! This makes Mysth turn back and Caine hits the BACK CRACKER !! The crowd can' t believe this twist of fate ! Caine goes for the cover !*
ONE...
TWO...
THREE... NO !!
*Once again ! Mysth just kicked out at the very last moment ! Caine just can' t stand it anymore ! Mysth' s stamina exhausts him ! He' s so angry that he starts to kick Mysth' s face furiously ! The ref is trying to calm him down, but he' s not stopping ! Caine keeps stomping Mysth' s face until...
Mysth just grabbed Caine' s foot ! Dragon Screw !! And Mysth keeps grabbing the foot !! And he connects with a Sharpshooter !! He' s got this submission locked in incredibly tight !! You can see the pain on Caine' s face ! But Caine is trying to get to the ropes ! He' s about to grab them... but NO ! Mysth pulls him and gets back to the middle of the ring ! Singapore Caine can' t take it anymore and taps out !*
DING ! DING ! DING !
Lilian Garcya : Here' s your winner... MYSTH !!
*"Otherworld" hits for the second time and Mysth gets back to the locker room, all by high fiving fans again. On the ring, Caine is still nursing his legs... and we fade to black.*
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Jan 4, 2007 22:11:01 GMT -5
*Spaz is standing backstage when Sum Guy walks up.*
SG: I'm Sum Guy & I paid for December To Dismember. I am here with Spaz. Spaz, Billy Ubermark has had more harsh words for you. What do you have to say in return?
S: Looks Sum, I have been putting up with his crap for far too long. I t will stop! He says I'm the "Golden Boy". He says I never had to work for anything here. Has he been at the same company as me? He probably hasn't noticed coz he has been to busy trying to pop his cherry but I have worked damn hard. When I started here I weighed 194 lbs, I worked hard, showed discipling & now I am a trim, taught & tantalising 216. I was green when I started, I had to wrestle jobbers like Tank Abbot to actually get a victory. But, over time I improved & earned title shots, I didn't complain when I was overlooked I just worked harder!
*Spaz pauses to wipe sweat off his forehead.*
S: When I got my shots I took them with both hands coz I knew how hard I worked to get them. I knew what it took for me to be in that position. Look at my path to the world title. I beat Gasoline, Virus & Maelstrom just to be No.1 Contender & then I beat Limey, Principal Pain, Spyke, Eddie Omega & Virus again to win the damn title. Billy calls that living the good life? I calll that damn hard work!
*Spaz takes a deep breath & composes himself.*
S: But you know what? Billy can run his mouth all he wants coz ultimately he knows that I will outwrestle him. He knows that I have climbed the ladder & won the EWT World Title. Something he has never done. The main reason he has never had a chance is coz he runs his mouth & nobody respects him. He complains about discrimination. People aren't laughing at you coz your are a virgin Billy it's coz you are a joke! Some people talk about it, some people do it Billy. You are a talker & I am a doer, but unfortunately for you here in EWT, unlike other promotions, it's what you do in that ring that is most important. Not your vocabulary. That's why I am where I am today. That's why I have a big house, a fast car & women throwing themselves at my feet. You just talk about it I get out there & f***ing do it! When that bell rings I will pick you apart Billy, I will make you wish that you never got out of bed, said goodbye to your teddy bears & your midget porn collection & left your mother's basement to come to work today! The hour is nearly here & Cometh the Hour, Cometh The Man! I am the man to finally shut you up Billy & then all of EWT will thank me.
*Spaz then walks off.*
SG: Spaz is ready but is Billy Ubermark? I'm Sum Guy & I'm wearing Goldberg Boxer Shorts!
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Jan 5, 2007 1:33:41 GMT -5
“Insecticidal” Andy Duke vs. Virus
* We join this match post-introduction*
Styles: The bell rings, and this match is underway!
Matthews: Duke vs. Virus. I’m exited for this one. This is Duke’s first match since that hellacious Tool Shed Title Four-Way at Season’s Beatings. He didn’t fair as well as he would’ve liked to in that match, and hopes to turn things around tonight with a victory.
Styles: Speaking of the Toolshed, it may be a tough transition back for Duke, as his last few matches have been hardcore matches, and he’s used that to his advantage. Well, enough talk, lets call the match!
Duke and Virus lock up in the center of the ring. Duke gets Virus in a headlock, and sinches it in tight. Virus pushes off and whips duike into the ropes, and BIG BACK BODY DROP! And Virus with a single leg boston crab. Duke gets to the ropes. Virus is forced to break the hold. He drags Duke away from the ropes, and starts stretching Duke’s face. He’s trying to rip open Duke’s stitches! Duke hits Virus with some shots, and both men stand up.
Mathews: Joey, what do you think of those “Cidal Squad” videos we’ve been seeing?
Styles: They’re…uh, creepy to say the least. If they’re as bad as they say they are, I just hope for my safety they stay away from me.
Mathews: Same here!
Duke and Virus both are up, and hits Virus with a HUGE European Uppercut. Duke gets crouched and ready in the corner, as the ref checks on Virus. Virus staggers up to his feet, and Duke charges at him, but Virus ducks, and Duke hit’s the ref with a HUGE LARIAT! He is knocked out! Duke immediately scrambles towards the outside of the ring, but Virus is able to hold onto him.
Styles: Well, to quote JR, business has just picked up!
The lights go out.
Styles: What the?!?!?
“Nosferatu” by Twiztid plays over the sound system.
Matthews: It can’t be!
Styles: It has to be….
Spotlights turn out into the crowd where a man in a long black trench-coat is standing at the top of the stairs. The crowd turns and looks toward him. Deamon walks down the stairs, fans are trying to touch him, a few of them have to be restrained as they try to attack him. He walks down the stairs to the beat in the song. He is holding a light tube in his hand. The fans part as he makes his way to the ring. He steps over the guardrail. He climbs the steps into the ring. The lights drop again, then come back on with Deamon, arms outstretched, in the center of the ring.
Styles: IT IS! DEAMON COHLN IS BACK IN EWT!
Matthews: But what is he doing here? And he has a light tube in his hand. Andy’s had enough light tubes on Sunday for a lifetime.
Cohln takes off his trench coat, revealing an EWT Shirt. Him and Andy Duke go face to face, nose to nose. The referee is getting back up. Cohln stares into Duke’s eyes, with a pissed off expression to say the least. These two could come to blows at any second, and he turns around and breaks the light tube over Virus’s head! The ref calls for the bell
Styles: What is this!!?!?!?!
Mathews: I hope this isn’t what I think it is….
Cohln rips off his shirt, revealing a CIDAL SQUAD shirt underneath it! He grabs a mic…
Deamon: Normally when wrestlers come back to a federation, it's to sing it's praises and help it build up. That is not why I'm here! I'm here to bring down the empire of evil that Toom E. has brought to this world! I'm here to expose what horrors occur here! You could say I'm here because I am “EWTicidal!”. My time spent traveling the country and wrestling in other places has shown me what real wrestling promotions are! Hell, the EWT sent Bolt Bacana to one of my other feds to fight me...*He steps on the middle rope, placing his foot on the bottom one, bouncing up and down. Looking right in the camera* I LEFT HIM IN A PILE OF GLASS! TRY AND STOP ME NOW TOOMI! I WILL KILL EWT! AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Duke: (off mic, but still audible) DOWN WITH EWT! UP WITH THE CIDAL SQUAD!
Duke picks up Virus and hands him to Cohln. Deamon Doom DDT! Duke picks up the torn shirt, and chokes out Virus with it. He releases, as Deamon goes underneath the ring. He’s got a can. ITS BUGSPRAY. And he’s got something else…matches. Duke picks up the torn EWT shirt, and sprays it with the bugspray. Deamon Cohln lights a match, and burns the shirt! The two pose over the ashes as medics come to the aid of virus.
Styles: This can’t be!
Mathews: This is indeed a dark day for EWT. The Cidal Squad has drawn first blood, and in a grand fashion.
Winner: VIRUS via DQ
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Jan 5, 2007 7:12:04 GMT -5
Maelstrom the EWT World Heavyweight champion is walking backstage, Sum Guy tries to get a word from him
Sum Guy: Hi i'm Sum guy and a happy new year to you Maelstrom!
Maelstrom keeps walking ignoring Sum
Sum Guy: Where have you been champ? since Season's Beatings this is the first time we have seen you!
Maelstrom adjusts the belt on his shoulder, but keeps walking
Sum Guy: Is Eddie Omega a concern afterall he is the number one contender? Maelstrom?
Maelstrom walks past Sum and into the Aquarium, he shuts the door afterwards. Leaving Sum Guy on his own in the corridor
Sum Guy: well I'm Sum Guy and I was ignored by Maelstrom!
Doink the Clown walks by and juggles for the camera right in front of Sum Guy
Sum Guy: and now I'm being upstaged by a clown!!
(cut to commercial)
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Jan 7, 2007 1:43:53 GMT -5
*A video package airs highlighting HBH and Gasoline's time in EWT. Various clips include the two holding the tag team titles together, HBH hosting The Heartbreak Hotel, Gas powerbombing HBH through a table, Gas joining Generation Tech, and HBH winning the Tri-State title, among others*
*We now cut back to Jim Ross and JBL at ringside*
JR: These two men have a lot of history here in EWT, both with and without each other. They were a tag team to be reckoned with in their early days, but when they split, they went to have even greater success separately.
JBL: That's right, JR. And both these men have left their mark in EWT. They are one of only three teams to hold the tag team titles twice. Bret Michaels was the first man to hold the Tri-State title twice. His first reign lasted over 4 months, longer than any title reign in EWT history. Not to mention his Heartbreak Hotel shows spawned other shows like Curly's Colisseum. And Gasoline helped Generation Tech even the odds against the P.T.A., eventually ridding them of EWT. In my book, they're EWT legends.
JR: I won't argue with that. And now it's come to this, ladies and gentlemen. They started their EWT careers together, and they will end them together, one-on-one.
*"Sexy Guy" starts up, and HBH and Cherry walk out to numerous boos. They step into the ring and pose. Then "Gas Power" hits, and Gasoline walks out to a big pop. He hi-fives some fans before stepping into the ring and raising a fist into the air. The ring announcer begins the introductions*
Ring Announcer: The following is a Farewell Match. Introducing first, being accompanied by Sensational Cherry, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 234 lbs., he is a former 3-time EWT Tag Team Champion and a former 2-time EWT Tri-State Champion, the Heartbreak Hitman BRET MICHAELS!
*Crowd boos*
RA: And his opponent, from Buffalo, New York, weighing in at 323 lbs., he is a former WCF Champion, a former 2-time EWT Tag Team Champion, and a member of Generation Tech, "Big Daddy" GASOLINE!
*Crowd cheers*
The bell rings to start the match. HBH and Gas circle the ring before locking up. Gas pushes HBH to the mat. HBH gets back up, and the two lock up again. This time, HBH breaks it with a kick to the stomach. He attacks with some punches before whipping Gas to the ropes. Gas ducks an attempted clothesline and tackles HBH to the mat, mounting some punches. Gas picks up HBH and chops him toward the corner. Gas whips HBH to the opposite corner. HBH blocks Gas's charge with an elbow. He runs at Gas, but Gas takes him down with a Samoan Drop. HBH rolls out of the ring to take a breather. Cherry goes over to comfort him, but runs away when she see Gas coming.
Gas takes HBH and bangs his head on the side of the ring a couple of times. He attempts a whip into the ringpost, but HBH reverses it. HBH takes advantage by whipping Gas into the steel steps. Next he rolls him back into the ring. He climbs onto the apron and hits a flipover splash, which leads to the first pin attempt of the match.
1... 2...
Gas gets a shoulder up. HBH gets up and rams Gas's shoulder into the ringpost. He then stomps a mudhole in him. HBH runs at him with a knee to the head. He lands a split-legged moonsault and goes for another pin.
1... 2...
Gas kicks out again. HBH drags him toward the center of the ring and delivers a knee drop to the head. Next he slaps on a sleeper hold. Chants of "LET'S GO GAS!" start to break out. Gas is starting to fade away, so the ref lifts his right arm up. It goes down. The ref raises it a second time; it goes down again. The ref raises it a third time. It starts to go down, but stays up. Gas then starts to stand up. He backs into a corner to get HBH off of him. He attacks with a few elbows to the face. Gas places HBH on the top rope. He climbs the ropes and performs a superplex. He rolls over and lays an arm across HBH for a pin.
1... 2...
HBH kicks out. Gas picks him up, kicks him in the stomach, and hits a running knee lift. He whips HBH to the ropes for a back body drop, but HBH blocks it with a kick to the face. Next he dropkicks Gas's right leg, bringing him down to one knee. HBH runs back to the ropes and dropkicks Gas again, this time knocking him down. He drags Gas to the corner and rolls out of the ring. He bangs Gas's leg against the ringpost a few times. Then he applies a figure four leglock around the ringpost. The ref starts counting to 5. HBH breaks it after 4. He picks up Gas and hits some kicks and chops. He whips Gas to the ropes, but Gas hits him with a spear. The ref starts counting to 10.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Both men are back up. They exchange right hands until Gas gets the advantage. He whips HBH to the ropes, connecting with a big boot. Next Gas catapults him into the turnbuckle and takes him down with a sidewalk slam. He picks up HBH and performs a delayed vertical suplex. Gas goes for a cover.
1... 2...
HBH kicks out. Gas picks him up, but gets a rake in the eyes for his troubles. HBH capitalizes with a Russian leg sweep. Then he attacks with a bulldog. HBH hits a standing moonsault and covers Gas.
1... 2...
Gas kicks out. HBH runs to the ropes for a spinning heel kick, but Gas catches him and turns it into a fallaway slam. Gas then runs to the ropes and hits HBH with a flying lariat. He signals for the Gas Bomb, and the crowd reacts. He sets up for it, but HBH wiggles his way out. HBH runs to the ropes and hits Gas with a spinning heel kick. He climbs the ropes and lands an elbow drop. Feeling the end is near, HBH then sets up for some Sweet Chin Muzak. He goes for it, but Gas moves at the last second and takes him down with a spinebuster. Gas goes for another attempt at the Gas Bomb, but this time, HBH fights it, and both men are tossed to the outside.
Gas picks up HBH and bangs his head against the announce table numerous times. He attempts a whip to the security rail, but HBH reverses it. HBH runs at him, but Gas moves. Gas takes control with a hard clothesline. He picks up HBH and rolls him back into the ring. Gas climbs the ropes and hits a flying shoulder block. He goes for another cover.
1... 2...
HBH gets a shoulder up. Gas again sets up for the Gas Bomb, but HBH turns it into another pin attempt.
1... 2...
Gas kicks out. He runs at HBH, who hits him with some Sweet Chin Muzak! This takes a bit out of HBH as well, as he falls to the mat. He crawls over to Gas to cover him.
1...
2...
3--NO! GAS KICKS OUT! The fans are on the edge of their seats! HBH then goes for the Sharpshooter. He locks it in. Gas crawls bit by bit trying to reach the ropes, yelling out in pain. He is able to make it to the ropes, forcing HBH to break the hold. HBH climbs the ropes again. He jumps off for a missile dropkick this time, but misses. And then, something unexpected happens...
GAS LOCKS IN THE SHARPSHOOTER ON HBH! Now it's HBH who has to reach the ropes. He's able to do so as well. Gas tries to drag HBH toward the center, but HBH holds on the ropes. He grabs a leg, but then HBH hits him with an enziguri. HBH sets up for more Sweet Chin Muzak. He goes for it, but Gas grabs the leg and hits him with another big boot. Gas signals for the Gas Bomb, and this time, he hits it. He goes for the cover.
1...
2....
3! *Bell rings*
RA: Here is your winner, "Big Daddy" GASOLINE!
*As "Gas Power" is playing, the ref raises Gas's arm in victory as the crowd chants "THANK YOU GAS!" Gas walks over to HBH, helps him up, and offers a handshake. HBH hesitates for a moment, but accepts. The two then hug in the middle of the ring. Gas invites Cherry into the ring, and they hug too. Gas then exits the ring and hi-fives some fans on the way to the back. Meanwhile, HBH and Cherry are still in the ring. But instead of the fans booing them, they start cheering them. A chant even starts*
Fans: THANK YOU HITMAN! *clap clap clapclapclap* THANK YOU HITMAN! *clap clap clapclapclap*
*HBH and Cherry then exit the ring. On their way up the ramp, HBH looks back at the sea of fans and raises an arm, mouthing "Thank you." He and Cherry then head backstage*
*Backstage, the two run into Ratings*
Ratings: So I guess this is it, huh?
HBH: Yeah, it's been a wild ride. Some ups, some downs. I may not have accomplished all that I set out to do, but I also left a mark here that will NEVER be forgotten. And as for you, we've had our differences once in a while, but you've been a great friend.
Ratings: Same here. During all the times we spent together, I'm proud to call both of you my friends.
*Ratings and Cherry share a hug. Then he and HBH shake hands*
Ratings: Hopefully our paths cross again in the future.
HBH: Hopefully.
Cherry: We might even show up back here someday.
Ratings: I hope so. But until then, take care, my friends.
HBH: You take care too. Let's go, Cherry.
*HBH and Cherry walk off. Cherry waves to Ratings while Ratings looks on and waves back*
*Cut to a commercial*
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ape
Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Jan 7, 2007 3:26:14 GMT -5
*the camera fades into a broken-down movie theatre. a grainy projection of dorf's last interview is playing. sitting in the front row of the theatre, is psychoapeguy. ape's gaze is fixed on the projection, which, like a broken record, continuously plays the same scene over and over... Dorf: A paraplegic deathmatch....you say? Where I cannot move my legs and footsies...and control my member? Plus various weapons such as barbed wire, tnt, steel chairs, etc.?
I ACCEPT!
....with one exception. If we do not find the secret location underneath the ring for the truth serum (two separate locations) within twenty-five (25) minutes of our Paraplegic Deathmatch, then you or I will be paralyzed for the rest of our lives.
as the scene loops again in the background, psychoapeguy begins to speak, never taking his eyes off of the projection.* ....paralyzed....for the rest of our lives?....hehe....let me tell you, dorfy poo....i can live with that.....i've grown accustomed to life without feeling from the waist down....hehe without easy mobility.....would i like to have feeling in my lower body again?....hehe...of course....i'd love to feel the blood trickle from those wounds once again... ...hehe...but, i've never been a selfish man.....i've always believed that it was better to give than to recieve....maybe....hehe...maybe i'll just let you get that serum....maybe i don't want to win.....hehe....maybe i just want to help you experience the joys of tendons ripping from your flesh...the amazing high of when fresh oxygen blows into your wounds as i peel back the skin.... *the projection cuts off and the camera turns to face psychoapeguy.* ....hehe to me, victory isn't who has their hand held high at the end of the match......hehe.....victory......hehe victory, to me, is delivering you glorious, magnificent pain....hehe....how will you deal with that, dorf?....hehe how will you deal with a man who has no concern over his own well being?....hehe....and how do you deal with a man who wants nothing more than for you to get that serum....hehe...just so he can cripple you mere moments after you think the risk for paralysis is over?....hehe i'll tell you how to deal with him... *ape begins punching himself in the face, opening up previous wounds and causing blood to pour down like a waterfall. he then calmly looks into the camera and whispers.* ....hehe...you accept your fate.....you thank him for showing you the magnificence of agony....hehe....and you look into a new career....as the guy in the wheelchair who greets people as they walk into wal-mart...hehe.....i'll see you there, dorfy....hehe....i'll see you there....*the projection suddenly starts back up again and psychoapeguy's eyes once again lock onto the screen as the camera slowly fades to black.*
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Jan 7, 2007 4:00:17 GMT -5
*camera fades in; Axel Halaway and Jobby McJobberston lean into view; Jobby has a big bandage above his eye*
Jobby: “Hey this is Jobby McJobberston!”
Axel: “And 'The Icon' Axel Halaway.”
*both at the same time*
Jobby: “And we're the Wrestle Posse!” Axel (less than excited): “And we're the Wrestle Posse...”
Jobby: “That name is soo awesome!”
Axel: “....Yea....about that... Since we can't change it.. I thought we can add to it.”
Jobby: “REALLY!? SO WE CAN BE THE WRESTLE POSSE BABYFACES?!”
Axel: “NO!”
*Jobby flinches and holds his bandage*
Axel: “I mean.... How about we pull our creative minds together and come up with something, Jobby.”
Jobby: “Alrighty then!”
Axel: “Hey before we get started... Can I call you something other than 'Jobby'? I feel like I'm insulting you.”
Jobby: “Well, actually you've been saying my name wrong the whole time.”
Axel: “WHAT?!”
Jobby: “Yeah, it's pronounced 'Joe-by'.”
Axel: “Then why have you been calling yourself 'Job-by'?!”
Jobby: “To make you feel better.”
Axel: “...”
Jobby: “What?”
Axel: “...How about JJ?”
Jobby: “I HATE THAT NAME WITH A PASSION! THAT WAS THE NAME OF THE FIRST PROMOTER THAT TOOK OFF WITHOUT PAYING ME!”
*Axel's taken aback*
Axel: “...how about Jay then?”
Jobby: “Yeah, that works fine!”
Axel: “Right.... Okay, on to the name of tag team.”
Jobby: “O-KAY!”
*screen fades to black*
“Five hours later”
*screen fades in to see Jobby looking his typical excited self, practical bouncing in his chair. Axel, on the other hand, is looking very tired and annoyed in his chair.*
Jobby: “The Wrestle Posse Posse!”
*Axel speaks in a labored and hoarse...*
Axel: “...No.”
Jobby: “The Wrestle Posse Dudes!”
Axel: “...No...”
Jobby: “The Wrestle Posse Babyfaces!”
Axel: “...ugh.... You've said that one like five times, stop being so damn tenacious about that one Jay.”
Jobby: “Tenacious Jay... I've heard of that somewhere...”
Axel: “No, you're heard of the band Tenacious D. I had them playing on my stereo the other night.”
Jobby: “Oh, right... The best band in the world, right.”
Axel: “That's what they say. Anyways, I used to be in a tag team known as the Q & A so...”
Jobby: “The J & A?”
Axel: “Like that makes sense...”
Jobby: “Oh yeah...”
*pause as they both go deep in thought*
*Jobby jumps up out of his chair*
Jobby: Tenacious A & J!
Axel: “What? Why my letter first?”
Jobby: “Because...”
Axel: “Well it won't work, it's too close to AJ. I don't want to remind people of a bad wrestler with when I'm mentioned.”
Jobby: “...'The Wrestle Posse' Tenacious J & A then. How does that sound?”
Axel: “...”
Jobby: “....Yeah...?.”
Axel: “You know what? I love it.”
Jobby: “REALLY?!”
Axel: “Yea. I really do.”
Jobby: “Let's do it then!”
*Jobby edits out the original tag name form sent back from EWT headquarters after a request form was sent. He then stands up with arms in the air*
Jobby: “We'll be the best tag team in the world!”
*Axel slowly stands*
Axel: “No doubt.”
*Jobby looks at the camera*
Jobby: “We're coming to EWT, and we will be the EWT tag champs!”
*Axel also looks at the camera, picking up a bit of excitement from Jobby.”
Axel: “And nobody's going to stop us. Not the FOG geeks, Rascal Trunks, or even Team AAerland. The reason for all the old talent leaving? Because they know that we're coming. Know our name well, for the foundation of EWT will tremble as we...”
*Axel looks at Jobby*
*pause*
Axel: “...Well?”
Jobby: “Well what?”
Axel: “Aren't you going to say our first name?”
Jobby: “I didn't want to throw you off, you had a good thing going.”
*Jobby goes speak then stops*
Jobby: “Why should I say the first part?”
Axel: “...Because that's your favorite part.”
Jobby: “...Oh yeah...”
*Axel sighs, and knows that the moment is gone*
Axel: “Just continue.”
Jobby: “Okay then...”
*Jobby smiles and looks at the camera*
Jobby: “The Wrestle Posse!”
Axel: “Tenacious J...”
*Axel points at Jobby and holds his hand out*
Jobby: “And A!”
*Jobby points at Axel and grabs his hand*
Axel: “Will carve our names in it.”
*camera fades to black; voices heard*
Jobby: “Carve our names in what?”
Axel: “It's a figure of speech.”
Jobby: “Oh.”
*camera then shows Paul F. Tompkins look alike*
“These next two guys told me to say this...”
*reads off a card*
“Get ready to make your 'Oh' face when this next tag team performs in the ring... 'The Wrestle Posse' Tenacious J & A will debut next week.”
*stares into the camera*
“Am I done?”
*camera fades into commercial*
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Post by Virus aka Captain No-Nuts on Jan 7, 2007 23:01:00 GMT -5
(We fade to ringside where Jim Ross and Joey Styles are preparing for the next match. Styles looks into the camera.)
Styles: We've just been informed that EWT cameras caught up with Virus right after his match with Andy Duke, when the doctors were cleaning up his wounds. First, however, let us show you how he suffered those wounds.
(The shot fades to a flashback to Deamon Cohln's return.)
(Deamon Cohln takes off his trench coat, revealing an EWT Shirt. Him and Andy Duke go face to face, nose to nose. The referee is getting back up. Cohln stares into Duke’s eyes, with a pissed off expression to say the least. These two could come to blows at any second, and he turns around and breaks the light tube over Virus’s head! The ref calls for the bell!)
Styles: Obviously, Virus was busted wide open by that BRUTAL light tube shot from Deamon, and required some medical attention after he was brought backstage. Here's what he had to say to EWT's cameras when they caught up with him.
(Virus is sitting in a room with a trainer dabbing at the gash on his forehead, from which blood is still flowing. Virus doesn't appear to be in pain at all, just slightly annoyed that he's bleeding.)
Cameraman: Virus! Virus! Any reaction to Deamon Cohln's shocking return?
(Virus looks directly at the camera and smirks. As the trainer continues to dab away at his gash, Virus brings his hands up and starts clapping slowly. It becomes clear that he knows Deamon will see this at one point or another, so he starts speaking as if the camera is Deamon.)
Virus (sarcastically): Congratulations, Deamon. You managed to do what every wrestler wants to do in a comeback, or in a first show for that matter... you made a lasting impact. Unfortunately for me, that impact was against the side of my skull with a light tube, but, hey, ya know, whatever works.
Cameraman: What do you think of Deamon's stated goal of "killing" the EWT?
(The trainer hands Virus a towel and says that he won't need stitches this time, but Virus needs to apply pressure to the wound. Virus nods and does so before answering, as a crimson stain appears slowly on the towel.)
Virus: Deamon wants to "kill" the EWT, is that right? He and Duke want to try to kill the best thing that ever happened to them? HAH. I'd like to see them try. Cohln's just pissed because he couldn't hang with the big boys.
Cameraman: Any last words for the Cidal Squad?
Virus: You may have drawn the first blood, gentlemen... but beware, because the war has just begun. You'll find that the EWT won't go down without a fight... and neither will I. You see, while you may have busted me open... this cut will heal. The wound will fade. But I will not rest until I have my retribution. You had better sleep with one eye open, gentlemen.
Because I'm coming for you.
And if you don't believe that...
You had better PREPARE... to BE... INFECTED!
(The camera suddenly pans down as the cameraman makes his way out of the room. We fade to black, and then to commercial.)
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Deamon Cohln
Don Corleone
AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Posts: 1,962
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Post by Deamon Cohln on Jan 8, 2007 12:01:51 GMT -5
*Sum Guy can be seen lurking around backstage. He has a mic in his hand and is almost to the point of passing out he is shaking so much. He moves to the corner of the hallway and looks around the corner, but quickly snaps his head back, breathing heavily. He looks around the corner again and sees nobody. He brings himself back, breathing a sigh of relief.*
Sum Guy: Oh god...Oh god... why are they sending me to do this...they know our history...they know...
*Suddenly something comes out from off-camera. It's a light tube. It taps Sum Guy on the shoulder. He tenses up immediately, almost crying. He turns around to see the“Ultraviolent King” Deamon Cohln standing there in his trench coat and black hat, smiling. Sum Guy brings the mic up to his mouth, but can't get any words out.*
Deamon: Well, well, what do we have here? If it isn't my old buddy Sum Guy! Let me tell you something Sum, Jacola has missed you. Hey, what's that smell?
Sum: I'm Sum Guy...and I just made a pants pie...
Deamon: Um...yeah, give me that.
*Deamon grabs the mic out of Sum Guys hands and uses the other one to push him away. Deamon turns toward the camera and points the tube right at it.*
Deamon: I'M BACK B****ES! And as I have stated in my previous encounter in that ring, I am not here for the betterment of myself, I am here for the betterment of the entire world. You see, I have been watching the EWT since I last left. For those who don't know, I had to leave for a little because I felt I wasn't good enough for EWT, I trolled the other federations in this grey pile of mass we call earth and do you know what I found out? I found out that the grass is indeed greener on the other side of the fence! EWT is a smoldering pile of horse scat compared to what I encountered out there! I am making it my duty, no pun intended, to bring this federation down so it cannot contaminate humanities collective conscience anymore! I would say that I'm the exterminator of EWT, but that Duke's job. But nonetheless, that is my goal, and there is no need to sugarcoat it, this place will die.
*Deamon takes the light tube and puts it on his shoulders. He wraps his arms around the end of it and looks into the camera again, then looks off-screen with a disgusted look.*
Deamon: Oh, pull yourself together.
Sum: *crying sounds*
*Deamon looks back toward the camera. The anger returns to his face and a scowl comes across his mouth, a small crack can be heard as the pressure Deamon is exerting on the light tube is starting to crack it, but not completely.*
Deamon: So now someone has come out to defend this hell of a promotion. Virus, I'm going to admit it right now, during my last run here, I had the utmost respect for you as a wrestler and as a human being. Of course, this was before I found out that EWT is hell and on a completely different event, realized I was sociopathic and hate everyone. Now though, you have come out in support of EWT? Come on man! Look around you! The Champion has some sort of fish fetish, and the OX Championship, a championship me and you one fought for remember?, Is held BY A F***ING FURRY! What happened to you Virus? You said I couldn't hang with the “Big Boys?” Well how about you go ask Bolt Bacana, who came looking for me? I light tubed him into oblivion. How about you ask anyone not in EWT, they all say I have talent, they all say I have that “it” factor. I can't handle the big boys huh? No, you can't handle me Virus. Because you say I'm gonna be infected. Only thing is, you have to break my skin to affect me, and your the only one bleeding. I have your number Virus. I know how to beat you. And you just a stepping stone for me. I will kill EWT. AND THATS, the goddamn truth.
*Deamon brings his arms down, cracking the light tube over the back of his neck. There no blood coming out though as Deamon turns his back to the camera, reveiling the mass of scar tissue on his neck. Massive cuts from light tubes has made his neck almost unsucceptable to tube shots. He walks away as the camera fades to black.*
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Spyke the Pacers Fan
El Dandy
Still hates himself for missing the last episode of Murder She Wrote
Go Indiana!
Posts: 8,061
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Post by Spyke the Pacers Fan on Jan 8, 2007 23:10:54 GMT -5
(An old familiar beat comes on as “Galvanize” by Chemical Brothers hits and Spyke Johannson bursts from behind the curtain! RLC is slowly walking behind him. She hasn’t gotten any kind of reaction back from Spyke ever since she kissed him two weeks ago.)
Lillian Garcia: “Making his way to the ring, from Stockholm, Sweden, weighing in at 223 lbs… SPYKE JOHANNSON!”
(Spyke rolls into the ring, and as usual, asks Lillian for the mic. Rachael’s face lights up as she thinks he’s going to publicly address the kiss.)
Spyke: “Ahh, I missed that song! That song, ‘Galvanize’ represents me and what I do. For those who don’t know, the word ‘Galvanize’ has many definitions. To startle into sudden activity is one. I don’t wait around to take action. When something happens, I snap into action. Whether it be a good dance song playing at the nightclub, or some punk backstage looking for a fight, I spring into action. That seems to be happening a lot lately, where I need to get up and take immediate action…”
(As Spyke says this, Rachael looks up, hoping he’s referring to the kiss.)
Spyke: “Crauswell! You want me to show you how ferocious I can be? How about I show you how in person? One-on-one! Ox Division Title on the line! Then, when all is said and done, I WILL be dancing. But it will be on the grave of your career!”
(With that, the music of the Full Blooded Italians hits and Tony Mamaluke makes his way to ringside, before Lillian can even introduce him, Spyke rolls out of the ring and gets a pre-emptive strike on Tony! Spyke clotheslines Tony, then lays into him with several lefts and rights. Spyke grabs a chair from under the ring and sets it up. Spyke then runs onto the chair and hits a Shooting Star Press onto Tony! Spyke gets up after a brief moment and picks up Tony onto his shoulder and hits a running powerslam onto the entrance ramp! The camera cuts to Rachael, who looks absolutely confused about why Spyke is being so aggressive. The camera cuts back to Spyke who rolls a beaten up Tony Mamaluke into the ring.)
*bell dings*
Spyke rolls into the ring, and gets Tony to his feet. Spyke looks to hit the SwedeDT! And he connects! Spyke stands and turns to walk towards the rope, but it met with a spear by Crauswell! The ref calls for the bell!
*bell dings*
Lillian: “Your winner, as a result of a disqualification, Spyke Johannson!”
(Crauswell keeps on attacking Spyke, picking him up and hitting lariat after lariat. Rachael runs into the ring and tries to get Crauswell to stop, but Crauswell spins around and hits Rachael in the head with a high-speed backhand blow. Crauswell then lifts up Spyke and hits a Beak Buster! Leaving both Spyke and Rachael laying knocked out in the ring. Crauswell grabs a mic.)
Crauswell: “As for your little challenge... I ACCEPT! But you don’t know what you are getting yourself into, kid. If you even remember what happened here tonight, you’re lucky. But when we face off, one-on-one, you won’t be so fortunate. You’ll be lucky if I let you live after what I’m gonna put you through. So what I recommend you do, is spend the next few days recovering, eat your favorite meal, seeing as it will be your last, then if you can, get in the ring with me, so I can embarrass and annihilate you in this ring, and prove why I am not only the most feared champion in EWT, but the most feared wrestler, IN THE WORLD!”
(“Broken Wings” plays and Crauswell makes his way backstage with the crowd booing in full force. The camera shows Spyke and Rachael lying in the ring, lifeless, with the ref calling for doctors to come to ringside. Fade to commercial.)
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Post by crauswell on Jan 9, 2007 16:04:46 GMT -5
as we return from commercial, we see Crauswell, contently perched atop an inflatable couch in his locker-room, clutching to his chest, a giant plush elephant, as he gently strokes over it's trunk, looking quite content with himself. The Ox Division title remains strapped around his waist, looking as it hasn't been removed since he had his last title defense, as he then tosses the plush toy aside, now looking down at his belt, lifting it off his waist and gently stroking over the leather strap, as he holds it close. He prods it a bit with his sewn on beak, then lifting it closer, admiring it's splendor as the light of the room reflect off the surface.
Crauswell: God I love you... and why shouldn't I? After all, we were made for each other. You... my magnificent trophy, which I proudly let hang around my waist... and I your protector, the one who carries you like one would a child, making sure NOBODY separates us. Making sure nobody tears us apart. Yes... just like the creature that you share your name with, you are a specimen of beauty... one I'd even kill to protect.
The furry leans back in his chair, reaching down and doing... well, I won't say. Just then, Sum Guy barges in, looking right at this sight.
Sum: I'm Sum Guy and that's how my mommy paid child support!
Crauswell immediately stops, simply walking up to Sum, glaring down at him.
Crauswell: You want this belt don't you? You want my prize... my trophy... my medal of honor?
Sum: Well... being a former Toolshed Champion... allegedly... I certainly wouldn't mind owning another title. Because that would further cement my status as lucky guy with EWT Belts who doesn't really wrestle often.
The furry nods, the belt once again strapped around his waist as he reaches over to Sum, nodding.
Crauswell: Well... you can FORGET IT!!! All of those EWT wrestlers can FORGET IT! THIS BELT IS MINE! NONE OF THEM ARE GONNA GET THEIR GRUBBY PAWS ON IT... NOT SPYKE... NOT SPAZ... NOT CASSINOVA... NOT CHAD MICHEALS... NOT ULTIMO CHOCULA.... CURLY LONG... KODA KAZAR... NOBODY!!! As long as I am standing and breathing, this waxing belt will now and forever belong to ME! And I will defend it to the death. If it means I have to shatter someone's spine, crack open their skull, or even rip their miserable heart out of their chest... then SO BE IT!!! All of them would be fools to even think of challenging me... because they don't know how far I'm willing to go... to protect my title. I'd sooner burn my collection of plush animals... I'd sooner rip my library of Zoo Books to shreds... I'D RATHER PECK MY OWN... GRYPHON-NESS OFF WITH THIS BEAK!
Sum Guy slowly backs away, for one of few times in his life, he's actually quite freaked out, as the furry stomps closer, glaring right at his face.
Crauswell: So no... Sum Guy. You will not get a title shot... you will not get a chance at it... and Spyke... he won't even exist after I finish with him!
The furry shoves Sum out of the room, slamming the door in his face, then dropping to both knees, letting a loud sigh of pleasure, as he removes his title... cradling it close and falling asleep upon the floor... as we cut to the next segment quickly.
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Post by dorf on Jan 10, 2007 1:04:03 GMT -5
*Camera turns to ringside*
Finkel: Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 221 pounds, from Palm Beach Springs California, RATINGS!
*As Ratings's Sunny Cali music plays out to boo's, he comes out underneath the CrapTron. The boo's increase when he taunts the crowd as the papparazzi crew with him snap many, many pictures of "sexyness."
His Sunglasses are unheard of...retro, yet classy for today's popular man style. He struts his good, ultra-sexy stuff down the aisle and the papparazzi's are being very annoying now. Nitro slides into the ring fine, er...I mean Ratings. He dances around in the ring to keep the crowd hating on him, while sexy women scream for him.*
Finkel: Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 265 pounds, from Filthadelphia, Pencilvania, DORF!
*The boo's finally turn into cheers as Dorf emerges underneath the CrapTron with Cheese Sandwich in his right hand. He yells "come on" to the crowd and raises the sandwich for more pops. As dorf walks down the aisle, he sees a little blood splatter on the aisle.
dorf shrugs his shoulders and walks on, but after two steps, the blood starts to drip from the ceiling and lands on dorf's forehead. dorf stops and looks up, but it was too late.*
*APE IS FLYING TOWARD DORF AND LANDS ON TOP OF HIM WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!
Ape is wearing what appears to be a vest, but he CANNOT GET UP! He gets something out of his and it looks like a syringe needle! Ape injects the needle in dorf's right leg as dorf screams in pain.*
Ape: he he...now we both know....what its like. Enjoy it dorf...
*hands dorf the healing syringe, but then tosses 20 feet down the aisle*
...BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA....CRAWL...HE HE!
*The crowd screams bloody murder as ape grabs the steel chair and smashes it against dorf's head. Bloods starts to trickle out of dorf's forehead...ape licks dorf's forehead and then crushes dorf's head onto the Steel Chair.
Ape then uses all his strength to put dorf into a modified Crippler Crossface as dorf taps in all of ape's glory, a smile arises. Sercurity, referees, EMTs, Trainers, etc. all rush to the scene to break-up the two, but ape releases the Crippler Crossface and out comes another syringe.*
Ape: DON'T...make me use this....he he...this right here...is 100%....lethal injection....used to kill people...anybody help him now...and dorf will get it...in the butt....he he...
*All those people hold back*
good....*moves back a little and looks dorf straight in the eye*....if you want to live....he he...i'd suggest...you go get that syringe....over there. *points to the direction, meanwhile injects syringe in hand to his leg*....silly referee...it was only a healing serum. *gets up*....this might be the happiest day of my life...*tear drops, chokes a little*
*Dorf, all bloody starts to crawl, mercifully toward the serum. He keeps screaming in pain, misery, and agony in that order, while blood continues to trickle down his forehead. Dorf achieves it slowly and makes the goal of the serum. As he reaches the serum, ape walks awkwardly toward him...*
Ape: good job...you pass the test...for now. *walks to the back, with a weird, evil smile. Meanwhile, the peoplez help dorf and they load the big lug onto a strecher. Ratings has a smirk on his face, for having a short workload on his day today.
Winner: no contest.
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Post by Rick Raskall on Jan 10, 2007 14:31:41 GMT -5
*The irritatingly familiar strains of "Amhrán na bhFiann" fill the air & the EWT fans know that it's time to start hatin' on Team Ireland. Coach O'Hare is the first to emerge from the tunnel, waving his Hurley as always. Aidan Donnelly & Sean McCann soon follow, with their tag-belts strapped on them in their usual fashion.* Toni "The Garc" Garcya: The following contest is a Tables, Ladders & Chairs match for the EWT World Tag-Team Championship. Introducing first being accompanied by Coach O'Hare, at a combined weight of 396lbs, proudly representing their home country of Ireland, Aidan Donnelly… Sean McCann… TEAM IRELAND! *The usual green, white & gold pyro explodes on the entrance ramp & all three continue on down towards the ring. Sean is looking around a little nervously at all the Tables, Ladders & Chairs (Oh, My!) that are stacked up alongside the entrance ramp. Aidan tries to look unfazed by it.* Nick Russ: Good evening EWT fans, I'm Nick Russ, accompanied as always by Jerome "The Lord" East. I have to say, Jerome, I’ve got a feeling that Team Ireland will be walking out of this building without those EWT World Tag-Team titles tonight. This is the third time they've faced Raskall & Trunk & they can't keep escaping those odds forever! And a TLC match is a completely different environment for Team Ireland. Jerome "The Lord" East: You could've said that about the "Escalator to Heaven" match or the Steel-Cage match that they've been in too. But Team Ireland always seem to find a way to overcome the odds against them. Russ: Yeah, usually with a bit of assistance from Coach O'Hare, Dr. Vivian Anemone, Midget King & Co. or whoever else their pals are that particular week.
*Once in the ring (which is full of tables & chairs) Sean & Aidan remove their belts & attach them to the apparatus hanging from the ceiling. The apparatus is retracted back up into the rafters & Team Ireland await the entrance of their opponents.*
*"Now you're messin' with a Son of a B****! Now you're messin' with a Son of a B****!" The crowd goes crazy as Raskall & Trunk show up at the top of the entrance ramp. They high-five each other & butt chests together.* Garcya: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 514lbs, from Los Angeles, California & Detroit, Michigan respectively, RRRRAAAASKALL & TRRRRRRUUUUUUNK! East: Did I hear that right "514lbs"? One of those two must've gone on a serious crash diet & it sure doesn't look like it was Marcus Trunk! Russ: Well, you know that Rick Raskall is a Hollywood playa, he's probably trying out one of those hot new celebrity diets. *Raskall & Trunk continue their path towards the ring, slapping the hands of nearby fans as they walk down the ramp. Once at the end of the ramp Trunk slides on into the ring while Raskall makes a bee-line for one of the ladders. The bell rings immediately as Sean & Aidan charge at Trunk, aiming to remove the big man from the match right at the outset. Both Irishmen be clubberin' at Trunk, Marcus shoves both of them off. Aidan notices that Raskall is trying to bring a ladder into the ring & performs a baseball slide directly into the ladder so it goes crashing right back into Rick's face. Sean McCann, meanwhile, picks up a chair & goes running at Trunk. Sean skateboards the chair right into Trunk's mush.*
Russ: It looks as though both Raskall & Trunk may be busted open quite early in this match-up, Jerome. East: When people see Team Ireland acting drunkenly or Liam O'Neill behaving strangely, it’s easy to forget just exactly how sick & sadistically violent Team Ireland can be. It wouldn't break any of their hearts if their opponents couldn't finish a match due to massive blood-loss.
*O'Hare orders Aidan & Sean to switch opponents. Sean performs a quick tope to the outside, landing on top of Raskall & the ladder. Aidan grabs Trunk by the head & moves to whip him towards one of the tables leaning in the corner, but Marcus reverses the move & Aidan goes crashing through the wood. Trunk goes outside the ring to aid Raskall in his struggle against McCann. Sean has Raskall set up on the announce table, but Trunk stops Sean before he can do anything else, by elbowing him in the back of the head. Marcus tries to revive Rick & help him off the announce desk. Raskall & Trunk take a few seconds to set up a table outside the ring before sliding the ladder inside. Before they can get the ladder set up properly, Team Ireland attack again. Sean dropkicks Trunk in the back while Aidan nails Raskall with a Bulldog. The two Irishmen get to work quickly, trying to set up Raskall & Trunk's ladder themselves. Sean begins scaling the ladder to get up to the top. But Trunk is back to his feet & he sneaks up behind Sean, Powerbombing him off the ladder. The ladder itself falls over & is left leaning against the ropes.*
*Aidan spots Rick Raskall charging at him & drop toe holds Rick so he goes face first onto the ladder. Aidan moves quickly & gets onto the ring apron. He leaps off the apron, slamming down on the ladder & sends Raskall flying out of the ring & crashing through the table that he & Trunk set up earlier. The crowd begins whooping & cheering. Yelling "HO-LY S***! HO-LY S***!".*
*Aidan returns to the ring & drags the ladder in with him, trying to position it in the centre. But Trunk is still on his feet & able to stop him. Trunk, drags Sean over to Aidan, holds the heads of both men & gives them a double noggin knocker. Sean & Aidan fall to the mat, but they're far from done yet. Trunk props the ladder up in the corner & picks up McCann, Marcus then Powerbombs Sean into the ladder in the corner. McCann clutches his back in agony, rolling & bucking wildly on the mat.*
*Trunk tackles Aidan to the ground with a Lou Thesz press & then begins stacking up tables inside the ring. McCann, meanwhile, has made his way to the ropes & is trying to pull himself back up to his feet. Sean has managed to prop himself up on the second rope when Rick Raskall comes dashing around the corner with a chair in hand. Rick leaps up on to the ring apron & kicks the chair right into Sean’s face.*
*Raskall then begins to search under the ring & brings out the Jeff Hardy Extra Tall Laddertm. The crowd begin to cheer before Raskall even has the ladder set up. He doesn’t get a chance to as Aidan (who snuck out of the ring while Trunk was pre-occupied with tables) attacks Rick from behind with a German Suplex. Aidan proceeds to hit Raskall with the "Trí Cairde", finally dropping Raskall right on his head with a vicious Brainbuster. In the ring Trunk has a set of four tables stacked up, two by two.*
East: What on Earth is Trunk thinking stacking up all those tables? Has he already forgotten the reason why Team Ireland won the "Escalator to Heaven" match was because he was so eager to Powerbomb Sean McCann through a similar pile of tables?
*At that, Sean attacks Trunk from behind, dropkicking him in the back. Sean drags Trunk over to a corner & (with considerable effort) manages to sit Marcus on top of those four stacked tables. Sean then leaves the ring & sets up the Jeff Hardy Extra Tall Laddertm; he begins to climb it, pausing halfway up to give Trunk a dig in the ribs. With this blow the tables shake slightly. Sean continues his ascent &, when he reaches the top, looks around at the audience. Sean suddenly realizes just how very high up he is. Closing his eyes, Sean leaps from the top of the ladder & goes crashing through Trunk AND the tables with an 810 Degree Splash! The crowd explodes into another chant of "HO-LY S***! HO-LY S***!"*
*O'Hare dashes into the ring & squirts a bottle of water into Sean's face, slapping him slightly as well. Sean remains out cold. Meanwhile, Aidan works on getting the ladder into the ring & actually, y'know, getting the belts down. He gets a few rungs up the ladder, but Rick Raskall begins climbing up the opposite side. Aidan & Raskall duke it out at the top of the ladder. Aidan manages to get the better of Raskall somehow & with a bit of effort turns Rick around. With Rick's back facing toward him, Aidan hits the "Guinness Hangover" from the top of the ladder! The crowd goes F'N nuts again!*
*All four men are laid out in the ring. Trunk is beginning to get to his feet, as are Sean & a still weary Aidan. Trunk picks up the ladder that fell over when Aidan performed the "Guinness Hangover" & sets it onto his shoulders. As soon as Aidan gets to his feet, Trunk starts spinning around in a circle. Aidan is knocked down when the ladder cracks him in the face. Sean is fortunate enough to duck Trunk's attack. McCann then dropkicks Trunk in the back. Marcus gets knocked into the corner with the ladder still around his neck. The ladder gets stuck between the ropes & Trunk is unable to free himself. While he attempts to remove the ladder from the ropes, Sean beckons Coach O'Hare. O'Hare whacks Trunk in the back with his Hurley & Sean cracks a chair over the big man's back. The two continue with this assault until Rick Raskall, his face & chest now covered with blood gets to his feet. He dropkicks O'Hare in the back & the Coach knocks into Sean McCann. Raskall checks on Trunk; Marcus is clutching his back, but is otherwise okay. With assistance from Trunk, Raskall turns the ladder in the ropes over so that it lies flat. Raskall then sets McCann up on the ladder. Raskall goes to the outside, climbs to the top rope & hits the "Los Angeles Bridge" on Sean! Sean falls to the floor in absolute agony, his insides seemingly crushed.*
*With Raskall, Aidan, and Sean all down on the mat, Trunk takes the opportunity to set up the ladder and go for the belts. It's a slow climb for him, however, after all the punishment he's taken in the match. Aidan gets to his feet and wobbles his way towards the ladder. He begins to climb, with Trunk practically in reach of the title belts. But Aidan hits Trunk a couple of times in the head, then takes Trunk's large cranium and bounces it against the top rung of the ladder. O'Hare then yells out "Ay, lad!" and tosses the hurley to Aidan. Aidan catches the hurley and gives Trunk a big whack to the head, but Trunk still won't fall off. Finally, in an act of desperation, Aidan grabs Trunk around the neck and leaps over the top of the ladder, bringing the both of them down with a huge Tornado DDT!*
East: Aidan Donnelly with a thunderous DDT! Right off the ladder! Russ: There are bodies everywhere!
*After a moment, Raskall is the first one to get to his feet. He goes back to set up the ladder, but Sean crawls over and tries to drag Raskall away. Raskall manages to shake off Sean, but this gives Aidan time to recover, as he shoves Raskall off the ladder. Meanwhile, Coach O'Hare has set up a ladder bridging the ring and the barricade.*
*Sean and Aidan manage to push Trunk out of the ring, and they both follow him to the outside. They get Trunk to his feet and attempt to whip him into the bridged ladder, but Trunk is too strong, countering the whip into a double clothesline and knocking both Irishmen to the floor. Trunk takes Aidan by the legs and drags him so that he's lying underneath the ladder, then falls back, slingshotting Aidan face-first into the ladder! Blood starts streaming from Aidan's face!*
Russ: My God, this match is out of control! They're going to kill each other out there! Aidan Donnelly's got a gusher out there!
*Trunk picks up Sean and rolls him into the ring, where Raskall has set up a ladder in the corner. Raskall pucnhes away at Sean, backing him up into the ladder. Trunk charges at Sean, but Sean ducks at the last second, sending Trunk careening into the ladder. Aidan rns over and takes down Raskall with a clothesline, then attends to Trunk, who is on jelly legs. Sean opens up the ladder and lays it on the mat, then whacks Trunk in the back with a chair. Trunk drops to the mat, falling onto the ladder. Sean closes the ladder so that Trunk is trapped inside it, then ascends the ropes.*
Russ: What is Sean McCann doing? ...No. He can't be. East: I think he is! He's going for it!
*Sean McCann flies off the top rope, double stomping the end of the ladder and crushing Trunk inside of it!*
Russ: OH MY GOD!! Sean McCann crushing Marcus Trunk with the ladder! This match is going too far!
*Sean McCann struggles to his feet, managing to set up the ladder. Aidan Donnelly crawls slowly into the ring, having stopped the blood for now. Both of them wearily start to climb the ladder, as the crowd's boos begin to rise at the anticipation of a Team Ireland win. But Raskall is to his feet, and he manages to push the ladder over. Sean spills to the outside, but Aidan lands on his feet. Aidan and Raskall slowly trade blows, as Trunk drags himself to his feet, setting up a table in the ring. But while Trunk's back is turned, O'Hare clubs him in the back with the hurley, dropping Trunk to the mat. O'Hare screams "YOU'LL NEVER BEAT THE IRISH!" into the camera, as Aidan takes over on offense and clotheslines Raskall out of the ring.*
*Aidan sets up the ladder again and begins his ascent. When he gets halfway up the ladder, Trunk stirs and begins to follow him, clubbing him in the back. Aidan kicks at Trunk's head and climbs another rung of the ladder. Trunk clubs Aidan's back a few more times, stopping him from climbing any further. Instead of simply pushing him off, Trunk scales the ladder behind Aidan, then wraps his huge arms around Aidan's waist, pulling Aidan off the ladder with the Wheelbarrow Uranage! Trunk Buster #3 right through that table! The arena is shaking with excitement!*
East: How can these men continue on with this match! It's just one huge blow after another! Russ: I don't know Jerome, but it looks like, at long last, Marcus Trunk can get his hands on that tag team gold!
*Trunk has begun to scale the ladder. Just as he nears the top, Curly Long and Mr. Big come running down the ramp, and are greeted by a round of disappointed boos. However, Trunk sees them coming, as he jumps off the ladder with a Lou Thesz press onto Mr. Big, and starts pounding away at him! Curly jumps on Trunk's back, but Raskall pulls him off and tosses him aside like a ragdoll. But Curly gets right back on his feet, taking out Raskall with a chop block. He then grabs Trunk's ankle and starts to twist it, forcing Trunk to get off Mr. Big. Trunk is howling in pain.*
*Just then, Ultimo Chocula and The Daryl Dragon come charging into the ring! Ultimo starts kicking away at Big, while Daryl Dragon takes off his comically oversized hat and shoves it over Curly's head, blinding him. Dragon spins Curly around making him dizzy.*
*Meanwhile, Sean and Aidan have made their way back into the ring, but Raskall and Trunk see them coming, and start pounding away at them. Ultimo goes after Team Ireland as well, but in the commotion, Raskall strikes Ultimo. Ultimo yells "What're you doing?" Raskall glares at him and tells him to get out of the ring, but Ultimo won't have any of that, as he takes a few shots at Raskall, sending him out of the ring. Mr. Big tosses Trunk out of the ring as well.*
*With Raskall and Trunk on the floor, and Curly and Big busy battling Ultimo/Dragon, Aidan and Sean set up the ladder, and make their way to the top, finally unhooking the belts as the bell rings amid a sea of vicious booing.*
DING DING DING!
Tony "The Garc" Garcya: Here are your winners, and STILL the EWT Tag Team Champions...TEAM...I...
*The Garc gets cut off as the brawl spills out towards the announce booth.*
Russ: This is getting out of control! Get security out here! East: Get away from me!
*Security pours out of the entrance way as the fight continues on. Finally, after a moment, the guards manage to pull everyone apart, needing about ten men to drag Mr. Big back to the locker room area.*
Russ Finally, that's out of the way! East: Curly Long and Mr. Big ruined another damn title match! Marcus Trunk was mere inches from grabbing those belts, but yet again, interference prevails. There's got to be some way of getting those guys under control. Russ: Well, while security is trying to do that, the ring crew will be clearing out the ring for the next match.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2007 17:52:15 GMT -5
*Two jobbers are in the ring, when suddenly, the camera cuts to entrance stage, as a "semi ambiguous" Jaguar arrives on the stage, and a song which shall be known as "Livin' Like Royalty" plays. It is TJT. They get out, decked in jewelry and shades, while Thunder and Jupiter are wearing their ring gear and custom jackets, and Terina is wearing her signature jeans and top. They begin to walk down to the ring, Terina between her two men, showing off their wealth to the fans as Jupiter shouts out a few obscenities. When they reach the outside of the ring, Thunder and Jupiter strut to opposite flanks of the ring, strike a few poses, and slide in with perfect synchronization. Terina walks to the front side of the ring, turns around, and sits on the apron. She proceeds to hold her arms up as Thunder and Jupiter each lean over, grab an arm, and pull her up. She then enters under the middle rope as they hold it open for her. Terina motions for the mic.*
"I am very proud to show off to you, the mortals you are, us deities, TJT," she begins. "You people shouldn't be allowed to even see any of us, for that matter. Oh well, I guess even the lowest people's wild fantasies do come true. *Laughs.* But that's not why we're here. No, we're here, to demonstrate to you, just what my two boys, Thunder and Jupiter, can do!" *Hands the mic to Thunder.*
"But before we do that," Thunder adds, "Let's get the public's reaction." *Boos ensue.*
"No, not YOU public, THAT public," Jupiter yells. *Points to the two jobbers.* "What do YOU two guys think?" *Hands mic to jobber.*
"Well," the jobber starts, "I'll say......that we'll cut you down to size before you can do ANY of that stuff to us! We're the Zephyr brothers, I'm Mike Zephyr, and this is my bro, Mark Zephyr! *Points to Mark.* And not only are we the Zephyrs, but we're masters of wrestling!"
"Yeah, let's get a ref out here," Mark adds, "and get this thing started!"
*As Thunder and Jupiter take of their gear, Jack Doane comes out, rings the bell, and the match is under way, as Mike Zephyr and Jimmy Thunder begin squaring off. Mark and Jason are at opposite corners on the apron.*
Cole: And so we're about to witness the debut of new new tag teams, TJT and The Zephyrs. There's something about TJT that reminds me of three other people, but I can't put my name on it.
JBL: That's not what I'm interested in winessing. That Terina is SMOKIN', haha!
Cole: Right you are, JBL, but I'll keep my attention on this match! And Jimmy Thunder has Zephyr in a wristlock. Zephyr reverses, but Thunder.....he re-reverses! Thunder whips Zephyr into the ropes, dropkick!
JBL: Now he's getting him into the corner with Jupiter. Makes the tag, and they're double punching Mike. Jupiter's in, and he--
Cole: Tags to Thunder again, and they're back to their punches!
JBL: That's some slick work from Jimmy and Jason. Might be as good as they say they are.
Cole: I wouldn't take any guesses yet, partner. These first impressions, are only impressions. Now Jupiter's got firm control, and he gets Mike with a side backbreaker! Oh my! He goes for the count, 1....2...no, Zephyr gets out! But now Jupiter is picking him back up. Delivering some stiff shots, and referee Jack Doane is motioning for him to stop. Jupiter refrains, and----what's this? A BIG running knee to the stomach! He tags Thunder, and--
JBL: Double vertical suplex! That's the way to do it! I like these two guys, they've got a fine polish. And I love that Terina, too! Hehe, she's got some major--
Cole: OH MY! Thunder nails a fist drop from the middle rope! What an impact! He goes for the cover! 1...2....and Mark breaks the pin! Jupiter's in there now, all four men inside, but Jupiter with a European uppercut to Mark, and he throws him outside!
JBL: Now it's Thunder and Jupiter with Mike! Thunder's lifting him up! Powerbomb? He's got him slightly above Jupiter....
Cole: And a powerbomb from Jimmy indeed, but Jason is also pulling him, and he's doing an inverted cutter at the same time as the powerbomb! OH MY!
JBL: That is DEFINITELY it. 1....2....3. It's over!
Chimel: Here are your winners, TJT!
JBL: What a victory from these two young bucks, they've got some great teamwork!
Cole: But can it get them throught the tag division? We'll just have to find out!
*Camera fades away.*
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