I ♥ NY
Friday the 13th part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan~ AKA, Jason Takes a Cruise. AKA Jason kills a bunch of random people who I can't even name. AKA WTF did I just watch?
~ Let it be known hence forth that this is my most hated of the Friday flicks. The tag line should have been "They Saved the Worst for Last".
~ First off the writers of this flick must have been as drunk and high as any of the kids that ever went to Crystal Lake, lets just get that out of the way.
~ Ok, For whatever reason I find it funny that the gal in the opening asks "What murders?" I mean really would anyone not know about around 200 killings that happened in a certain town almost anywhere in the World, let alone your own back yard?
~ Jason's latest resurrection is kind of cool.
~ Also this is like the 3rd killing with a harpoon gun, 4th I guess since Jason kills both of them, one with the gun itself and the other with the spear tip.
~ Did you know the name Crystal Lake is actually a misnomer? Well it is, cuz it's actually Crystal Inlet, or Crystal Sound, or maybe Crystal Fjord. Whatever it is it's actually connected to the Ocean with enough passage for a pretty large boat.
~ Now, ok, why does Jason stay on that boat? Is he driving it? If he is why is he driving it to where the Lazarus is docked?
~ I'm amazed they managed to find a bigger asshole then Dr Crews from VII, but they did, Charles has got to be the biggest tool in the series, and that's saying something.
~ JJ could have been a contender for coolest Friday chick ever if she bothered to live long enough.
~ What the Hell... did Rennie and the Dog just have a vision in the porthole? Hopefully this is a one time event.
~ Yeah, lets get revenge for Rennie narcing on us by freaking attempting to kill her, a tad extreme don't you think girls?
~ Woah, another vision, this time of a kid reaching through the mirror, is this Friday the 13th or A Nightmare on Elmstreet?
~ Now does this Friday feature the most people screaming and begging for their lives? It seems that way, and for whatever reason it comes off as mildly unpleasant.
~ It also seems to feature the most people being killed for no reason at all, they're not sexed up teens, or drugged out hippies, they're not even at Crystal Lake.
~ Umm, whats the deal with the slow motion kill there, weird.
~ Wow, Jason's powers are in full display here, he's warping around right in front of our eyes when he offs Kelly Hu.
~ Haha, Jason triggering the fire alarm.
~ The pen is truly mightier then the sword I guess, or the gun or anything else as it seems to cause an un-dead Jason great pain.
~ Ok, the boats on fire, but why's it sinking?
~ Oh I see, it's a good way to get rid of all those other graduates whom Jason doesn't have time to slay.
~ Ha, where did the dog come from? He ran away and then shows up in the boat.
~ Woo hoo, we in NEW YORK, yeah everyone died, but Hell I'll break out in song anyway.
~ Jason, he loves the water so much he's a damn Olympic swimmer, he got all the way from the boat to NY. For some reason he also managed to show up right at the same pier as our survivors not 1 minute after they themselves arrive.
~ Biggest head tilt ever. ;D
~ Heh, Jason, our hero smash those drugged out thugs good.
~ What film set in New York would be complete without the most Irish Cop in the World me boy-o.
~ Jason, faster then a speeding car. Kills the cop then warps down the street for whatever reason.
~ For God sake Rennie slow down! And so she does, and so does the film itself. What the Hell is the deal here, I'll just drive this car right into that vision of this mutated kid and also this wall *kaboom*
~ Oh no Van Deusen just blew up with the car, eh who cares. Funny how they don't spend one second to cry about her death, Rennie must not have cared for her much.
~ Hey little girl, I'll teach you how to swim *pushes into lake*
~ So let me get this straight, is Jason a ghost of some kind that haunts Crystal Lake? Did Jason
actually die in 1950whatever? Who the Hell has been stalking Crystal Lake for the last 20 years? *head explodes*
~ Biggest and most obvious of Jason's warping ability is seen right here. Charles runs away from him, but damn if he isn't in the second floor of the building he runs to to throw him right back on the street.
~ Drown you bastard, drown
~ Now, why in the Hell is Jason so dammed interested in killing Rennie and Jim? He passes up plenty of victims on the street and in the Subway, but he's just
got to kill these two, and he'll use all his powers to do so.
~ And 1:22 into the movie we get to see Times Square, how nice.
~ Jason lifting his mask to scare off those punks is epic.
~ Jason, meet Jason. Ken Kirzinger from Freddy vs Jason getting killed by Kane Hodder, how fitting.
~ Hey you kids, what are you doing running around here, don't you know the sewer gets flooded with toxic waste every night...... umm what?
~ Did you know that when in pain Jason sounds very much like an enraged Elephant? Well if you didn't well now you do.
~ Ok, now this ending. I thought the one in part VII was messed up, but this one takes the cake. It really has to be seen to be believed, Hell I just watched it and I don't believe it. We got a river of toxic waste, Jason appearing to talk or at least be having a memory of talking, him spitting up water, his flesh being melted away, lightning striking the city, Jason burning, and finally Jason as a young lad lying dead.
~ Hey the dog is still running around, damn dog.
~ So yeah, I like this series quite a bit but this one is more full of crap then the New York sewer system. The ghost Jason that haunts Crystal Lake, the visions, the random slow motion scenes, the most random and generally detestable group of kids ever, the idiotic story, everything about this is just not right. It's no wonder that this is the last Friday the 13th...technically, cuz at this point in the series it's totally out of gas.
~ I also might add that Jason looks so "meh" in this, the mask is ok, but after VII where he looked so great with the exposed ribs, shin and back bone, he comes off in this one as terrible, just a guy in a soggy jump suit, woo. His muppet-like face is also a sight to behold, and not a very good one at that.
~ Jesus it doesn't even have a proper theme...
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=2YcNFZ0J-vQ