Franchise
Hank Scorpio
No you didn't.
Ronnie Garvin, you idiot! I like steak, not soup, Ronnie Garvin!
Posts: 6,879
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Post by Franchise on Jan 31, 2009 13:22:48 GMT -5
Dear 10-year-old Franchise:
-First and foremost, lay off the track pants before you turn 13. They make you look like a douche.
-That Kate chick you met about 3 years ago? You're gonna become better friends in about 4 years, and eventually...well, you know. I'll let you figure that out yourself. Just take it easy on her when she goes though her phase, alright?
-Wait that extra year before going to college. Don't listen to mom and dad on this one.
-Save up a little bit more money before you move to Windsor. You'll have one hell of a time, but with a little extra finances the sky's the limit for you.
-f*** more. You're not that hideous, so quit acting like you are.
-Get in better shape, and quit being so lazy. You're lucky you have a high metabolism.
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Tarik Dee
Hank Scorpio
I loved you before I even ever knew what love was like
Posts: 5,233
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Post by Tarik Dee on Jan 31, 2009 13:56:49 GMT -5
Dear Arkhamie: while you are reading this your parents are at the edge of the divorce it will be hard but remember love your mother and dont listen to your father he is a snorking hyprocite, also lose a lot of weight, a lot, and learn to play an instrument, especially the keyboard, practice your artistic skills keep your friends close, and please stop acting weird, you still can talk alone but just when nobody watching you and when you grow up dont try to dress like this kids called "darks" and remember if you dont listen to me ill be back to beat you . with love the future Arkham
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Post by Head Detective Aaron Enigma on Jan 31, 2009 14:31:07 GMT -5
Dear Aaron,
Don't ever let your brother touch the stove or do anything remotely near it EVER!
He will not wreck the stove when he is 11 and you are 14.
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4real
Wade Wilson
Posts: 27,929
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Post by 4real on Jan 31, 2009 15:29:57 GMT -5
Dear Tommy
BRUSH YOUR TEETH!!!!
Start playing football now because you're regret not doing it sooner
DON'T become a fan of Chris Benoit
That Prodigy album thats out now.....buy it
BRING ON THE TRUMPETS!!!
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Post by Man Hating Horace on Feb 1, 2009 3:02:43 GMT -5
Dear 5th-grade Comrade:
1. Avoid the jokes. You are being annoying rather than amusing.
(later recieves similar note from 36-year-old JCW Comrade)
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Post by thesam07 on Feb 1, 2009 3:07:58 GMT -5
Dear Sam
Stop doing that thing that you do. You know what I'm talking about.
from The Sam p.s. Don't give your Sega Mega Drive to your Sisters friend, you will never see it again.
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Post by G✇JI☈A on Feb 1, 2009 3:11:03 GMT -5
Dear Gojira aged 10
You will come to idolize a wrestler named Chris Benoit sure he is a great wrestler but he will do something that will just crush your soul and question your love of pro wrestling. I would advise you get into a guy named Chris Jericho instead.
BTW that Hollywood remake of Godzilla.... Don't get too excited. It sucks.
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Post by El Josh Rollins on Feb 1, 2009 3:30:51 GMT -5
Dear Josh,
Hey buddy! You are still going to be really weird when you get older, your sister will still be poppin' out kids, and you want to avoid all girls with names starting with J and A. Trust me.
Oh, and leave the house more.
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Brother Coyote
Samurai Cop
Has Clarity of Vision Is an engine of will
Posts: 2,124
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Post by Brother Coyote on Feb 1, 2009 3:31:07 GMT -5
Dear little Agent 86,
Yea I know Get smart rocks =p high five, some advice.
1. Mom is stupid don't listen to anything she says ever, and our Dad is a scumbag write him off now. 2. Go to school... GO dammit. 3. Don't be afraid to hit people you're stronger than you think and you're only going to have to do it once or twice, you're still young enough to get away with it. 4. Ask grampa about boxing, sign up asap its worth it.
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Post by TromboneMan on Feb 1, 2009 4:11:36 GMT -5
Hey Jayden.
You're right about Sports class. Drop that as quickly as you can, you don't need it.
Pick up the Euphonium again. That's a stupid reason why you quit it. In 4 years you'll pick up the Trombone and you needn't look back.
Be nicer to your sister, she's a cool dude.
In two years you'll get the idea to grow out your hair. Do it. You've been looking like a kindergartner since you started school.
Bone up on your French.
-Jay. Yeah, you'll come to the idea the "DEN" at the end is stupid also.
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Post by Sir Woodrow on Feb 1, 2009 4:24:26 GMT -5
Hey Woody age 10.
Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.
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bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,664
Member is Online
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Post by bob on Feb 1, 2009 10:39:14 GMT -5
Dear bob,
Here's something you need to know:
1) Wrestling is predetermined so there's no reason to obsess over it anymore.
2) You'll discover a new wrestling show on TNN during 1999. Watch is as mucha spossible because in a few years it will be bastardized.
3) Don't go to the Whitewater football camp. You'll break your clavicle there and it will bug you the rest of your life.
4) Sell your sports cards. You'll need the money a decade from now.
5) DO NOT TRADE AWAY A BRETT FAVRE SATOGRAPHED JERSEY. You will realized who stupid you were for doing this 5 years after doing it.
6) Take highschool more seriously. And get invovled with something besides football. Trust me, the coaches are douchebags which will cause you to quit.
7) Stay away from (name withheld). He will almost set you up with be expelled a month because you graduate highschool.
8) Stay away from (name withheld). He will screw you over big time.
9) You'll move during your last year of highschool. Insist that your parents change the wallpaper in your room. TRUST ME you'll hate it for atleast 7 more years.
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Post by The Genesis of KoOS on Feb 1, 2009 11:02:57 GMT -5
Dear Scot Part II:
1. DO NOT buy your friend that Brett Favre Kenner Starting Lineup rookie figure of his for Christmas. It will be worth over $300 a few years later, buy it and keep it for yourself. Then buy him a cheap box of football cards to give to him instead.
2. SELL, SELL, SELL all of your Kenner Starting Lineup figures before the end of the decade. If you don't, they will drop in value and be virtually worthless. Your collection is worth over $1,000 if you wait too long, you will be lucky to get rid of them for $100.
3. Don't take a year off after high school. Go directly to community college for two years, then transfer.
4. When you get the job at Sam Goody, do NOT blow your paychecks in the store. If you're going to buy stuff, do price comparisons. It will save you a whole lot of money.
5. Do NOT date a girl named Mandi and do NOT get involved with a girl named Erica. They are far more trouble than they are worth.
I will staple this underneath the first note. More to come possibly. Take my advice or you will kick yourself.
Sincerely,
Future Self
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Post by joestodge on Feb 1, 2009 11:13:42 GMT -5
dont ever watch contact!!! the alien is her father!
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triplethreatmark
Grimlock
Party Fouler
I look exactly like this avatar in real life.
Posts: 14,074
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Post by triplethreatmark on Feb 1, 2009 12:46:42 GMT -5
Note:
Life's is gonna suck ass in the future, so get ready for it.
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Post by ani on Feb 1, 2009 12:52:04 GMT -5
Dear Little Andrew,
I know the MLB strike is bugging you but don't lose hope. Try and start following and observing other teams. Also, buy a PS1 early on and stop focusing only on Nintendo! It's not like you have any problem that makes you obsess over one thing...oh wait...
Signed, Big Andrew
P.S. DO NOT WATCH THE METS IN 2003! TRUST ME!
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sloride
Unicron
Doesn't Suck Up. Or Does She?
The Greatest Entertainer to have ever Lived
Posts: 3,196
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Post by sloride on Feb 1, 2009 13:04:01 GMT -5
Dear Sophie
Its a good thing you support Man Utd. In thirteen years they will still be the best side in the league but no matter how you feel every two years England still wont win that tournament. I know you hate History now but next year you'll get a passion for it and end up doing a Masters in it. You'll go to uni and make some wonderful friends so dont worry about that. I know your are self concious about your looks with the glasses and your figure but in a few years you'll have contacts and will be skinny and happy with your appearance. Believe it or not mum will lighten up and stop being such a strict bitch. Phil will still be an immature idiot but you will have a very close relationship with each other when siblings get out of the always arguing stage. Do what you feel is right for you and stop being so concerned about everyone else's feelings. Dont be afraid to stand up for yourself to twats that are making you miserable. And if you like a guy just tell them, dont hang around.
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Convoy
El Dandy
Rusev admits to being a sex addict to large applause.
Posts: 7,541
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Post by Convoy on Feb 1, 2009 13:48:00 GMT -5
Dear 10-year-old Jonathan,
1. Start going as Jonny. If you do it now, as oppose to high school, the nickname won't be tainted.
2. Speaking of which, avoid a girl named Alexa when you get to 11th grade. Trust me on that one.
3. You can stick with a chick named Sarah. She's pretty cool, albeit clingy. She'll buy you stuff to stay with her. Cut her off as a girlfriend, but keep her as a friend. Morally speaking it's the right thing to do.
4. Make sure to close the red door in the garage when you go to feed our dog. It may be hard to believe, but he only likes you & dad. He's gonna attack mom and try to kill her. This is amazingly hard to write. It might be best for you to give him to someone who can handle him.
5a. See that girl sitting one table away? The only girl in class with boobs? Yeah. She's going to become your best friend. I know, I was shocked too. Just be yourself...since for some reason that's why she loves you/me/us.
5b. By the way, she's gonna move away after high school. She'll be back in fall of junior year in college. Don't freak out. I wanna tell you what to do when she comes back, but I have to receive a letter from 30-year-old us to 20-year-old me...so that I can tell 10-year-old you. That was interesting to type.
5c. One more thing about her - and this is OPTIONAL - you can kiss her back in study hall when that day comes in 10th grade. I didn't, and things are pretty good in this future. If you want to be something more, then go for it.
6. Listen to mom when she tells you what college to go to. You end up going there anyway, but starting out there as a freshman will make things much easier.
7. Grow your hair out. Don't wait until high school. Girls love long hair.
I'll send you some other tips if any spring to mind.
Sincerely, College Jonny
P.S. Stop listening to crappy rap music and pick up a Ramones or Clash CD. It'll change your life.
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Post by Long A, Short A on Feb 1, 2009 14:07:22 GMT -5
The cheat sheet you're reading is better than the one for that spelling test.
You will learn facts about your that will rock your world. Dad was a pimp and he questioned your paternity because you're a girl. Dad is going to keep 10% of the promises he'll make. Aunt Liz and Tywan become jerks as we get older. Mater of fact they are pulling jerk moves right now. Mom is still mom, but you will both learn to accept and with deal each other. Time is going to work wonders for Ariel and Archie. Treat them better, so you can use emotional blackmail when you all are older. Please pay attention to what people say when you go to those self esteem workshops. You'll avoid lots of sadness if you use that knowledge to speak up for yourself. Ask mom to ask the doctor about elbow surgery. Your not going to get any taller. Ask Dr. Karp if you can have contacts. He'll say no, but you don't have to wear glasses all the time. Your body is pretty awesome for a 10 year old girl. Don't let anyone make you feel weird or ashamed of the way you look.
Quick tips keep dancing lift weights Don't let your teachers know how you feel about them or schoolwork save up for prom, save up for a tattoo, save money fight like hell to have a job when your 16
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Rube
Hank Scorpio
Sammich Bogart
It's always the same and it's always different.
Posts: 5,619
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Post by Rube on Feb 1, 2009 14:28:57 GMT -5
Dear Lil' Shep,
Stop Amy from killing herself.
Don't try to kill yourself.
Always use a condom. You'll luck out and avoid serious stds and having kids, but the mental stress of waiting for the results of both are a super bitch.
Don't sleep with friends.
Your family is full of of deadbeats who you will end up supporting by the time you're 24. Move far away after high school and cut off all contact with them.
Don't start dating that half spanish/half black chick. I know that's the best mix of races and she's really hot, but you'll get stabbed by her crazy ex-boyfriend.
Don't cheat on Caroline. Marry her.
Sincerely,
Big Shep.
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