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Post by Childish Gambino on Apr 29, 2009 9:13:18 GMT -5
Yeah, I would seriously think about whether or not staying friends is best for you. Ive stayed friends with my ex and to be honest, a big part of me is regretting it. 6 months on and I am still not over her, if I got her out of my life when it happened then I would be in a much better place, but hey, its different from person to person.
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The QC Loser
Hank Scorpio
Come on follow my Twitter I'm cool!
Posts: 6,241
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Post by The QC Loser on Apr 29, 2009 9:23:28 GMT -5
I wouldn't do that friend thing based on my experience. All it ever turns out to be is them calling you crying when the next guy screws them over because he just wanted a piece of ass.
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Post by teamjd on Apr 29, 2009 9:39:58 GMT -5
I wouldn't do that friend thing based on my experience. All it ever turns out to be is them calling you crying when the next guy screws them over because he just wanted a piece of ass. Yeah you don't wanna put yourself threw that just cause I wanted a piece of ass.
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Franchise
Hank Scorpio
No you didn't.
Ronnie Garvin, you idiot! I like steak, not soup, Ronnie Garvin!
Posts: 6,879
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Post by Franchise on Apr 29, 2009 9:56:23 GMT -5
Guys, I don't hate her for anything though. The only thing I'm slightly upset at her about is why she didn't talk things through with me and just said "f*** it" instead. Most of her reasoning (unless she was bullshitting me) was that she genuinely has no idea what she wants anymore, which I can believe. She leads a very busy life and lives a couple hours away from me, so I can see how it would be too tough for her.
I'm rambling again, but there's no hate between us. I still think she's an awesome person and want her in my life. I just have some insecurities and doubts that I need to get over before that can happen.
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Post by teamjd on Apr 29, 2009 10:27:22 GMT -5
I'm traveling four hours to a beach on the otherside of the state with a girl I'm in love with that...isn't with me. So thats gonna suck. Hopefully i get some nice bikini pictures to look over as I cry and other myself to sleep later.
So there's some perspective in why I'm doing worse then Ox right now ;D
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Beast Army Ass
Hank Scorpio
What being a Philadelphia sports fan feels like.
Posts: 7,149
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Post by Beast Army Ass on Apr 29, 2009 11:16:56 GMT -5
Yeah, I know the feeling. Basically my last relationship ended...well, for a lot of things, but mainly, I am pretty sure she was trying to turn me into her last boyfriend. Subtly trying to get me to gain weight for starters. So, now this is HILARIOUS, I found out from her after the fact that apparently she responded to me telling my friend a dirty joke by cheating on me. With said ex. Who she's now dating again. HAAAAAA. FUNNY.
Fact is, after a few weeks of feeling like total crap, I just stopped caring. And I feel a lot better as a result. I've met someone very nice, so we'll see where that goes. Icing on the cake? The ex IMs me every so often, you know, normal stuff, hi how are you, things like that. But then she slips in complaints about her boyfriend, how she misses me, blah blah blah. I don't hate her, but stuff like that irks me.
Women are fickle, you know? Just another quick example - my friend's girlfriend dumped him last Friday, and last Saturday, she wants him back. Seriously.
Glad I got to vent just a little too, but trust in that there's someone for everyone, even if you don't believe it right now. You'll get through it, no problem. Oh, and JD, you get to interview porn stars if I recall correctly, so I'm giving the "has it worse" edge to Ox. Sorry. :-p
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Post by teamjd on Apr 29, 2009 11:19:36 GMT -5
Hey its been weeks since I've done an interview!
Now I'm just talking to them privately!
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Post by Kevin Hamilton on Apr 29, 2009 11:23:19 GMT -5
And by talking to them privately, he means calling and heavy breathing/asking what their favorite scary movie is.
I keed.
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Post by teamjd on Apr 29, 2009 11:24:37 GMT -5
And by talking to them privately, he means calling and heavy breathing/asking what their favorite scary movie is. I keed. thats only a half truth!
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Post by Cyno on Apr 29, 2009 11:48:12 GMT -5
I've done the friends thing with two of my ex's, and it's worked with both (though it took a lot of time for it to work with the first), but it's not something I'd recommend to everyone. It CAN work, though, but it largely depends on the person you are and how the breakup happened. My second ex was one of my best friends, who became my girlfriend for over 3 years, but we broke up because she missed her family (she's originally from SoCal and I'm in Jersey). We still talk just about every day, though.
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Franchise
Hank Scorpio
No you didn't.
Ronnie Garvin, you idiot! I like steak, not soup, Ronnie Garvin!
Posts: 6,879
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Post by Franchise on Apr 29, 2009 11:56:06 GMT -5
Again, thanks for all the kind words/words of advice, everyone.
I'm actually not too worried about remaining friends with her...I'll definitely be seeing her again either way, since we have mutual friends and such. But from what I can recall, I've at the very least kept contact with all of my exes. And as I said before, she's a fantastic woman and I wish her nothing but the best, and I'd like to see where she ends up and maybe be a smaller part of that than I was.
The issue being I can't see myself just being a smaller part right now.
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Post by Slingshot Suplay on Apr 29, 2009 13:40:00 GMT -5
I've done the friends thing with two of my ex's, and it's worked with both (though it took a lot of time for it to work with the first), but it's not something I'd recommend to everyone. It CAN work, though, but it largely depends on the person you are and how the breakup happened. My second ex was one of my best friends, who became my girlfriend for over 3 years, but we broke up because she missed her family (she's originally from SoCal and I'm in Jersey). We still talk just about every day, though. Screw the friend thing. You put in alot of time and effort in the relationship, and she wanted to call it quits. I wouldn't waste anymore time or effort. If you see her, be civilized, but use that time to build a friendship on someone who deserves it, Just my opinion. Friday's coming, party and have a good time, but drink responsibly!
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Post by tigermaskxxxvii on Apr 29, 2009 17:57:16 GMT -5
Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, now that's adorable Now if you don't mind me I'm gonna have a couple of beers, watch some sports and then build a shed.... Yea Ox, you should see if that Sophie Dee is available I'm gonna advise against the "just friends" thing as well solely based on this clip 6:06 into the clip Warning: Graphic Language, Graphic Content
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Post by tigermaskxxxvii on Apr 29, 2009 18:01:22 GMT -5
...so she's available now? Too soon! What do yea mean too soon? I've been dating her the past 3 weeks and....oh I should probably delete this before pressing "post reply" huh?
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Post by Loki on Apr 29, 2009 18:03:20 GMT -5
there's no hate between us. I still think she's an awesome person and want her in my life. I just have some insecurities and doubts that I need to get over before that can happen. I really don't want to sound like a negative nancy, but I'm still convinced you should NOT stay around... Not now, not in a few weeks or months. How can you get over your insecurites and doubts if you're not taking a break from who (I guess) plays a big role in said doubts? Chances are you'd end up justifying her, or pretending "it's fine"... Just go away, leave her be, with her busy life and whatnot.
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Post by Kevin Hamilton on Apr 29, 2009 18:09:57 GMT -5
I will say the friends thing CAN work in some cases, though in the majority of situations, I'd say those saying it's better to just burn the bridge are probably right; that's not to say it's a no go even in your case, as only you know your situation.
I probably would give myself some time away from her to digest stuff, deal with those doubts et al you're talking about if I were you, before I even attempted a 'friends' thing.
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Post by Loki on Apr 29, 2009 18:21:22 GMT -5
I will say the friends thing CAN work in some cases, though in the majority of situations, I'd say those saying it's better to just burn the bridge are probably right; that's not to say it's a no go even in your case, as only you know your situation. I probably would give myself some time away from her to digest stuff, deal with those doubts et al you're talking about if I were you, before I even attempted a 'friends' thing. The way I see it, "friends" can work just when: a) the breakup has come as a mutual decision b) some time has gone by, and both have successfully moved on with their life c) attraction and hard feelings are gone But then again, what kind of "friendship" is that? To me it's more like "politeness between two persons who used to be close, but have now grown apart and have not so much in common" And if that's not the case, who knows, the fire may still be burning, deep down.
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Post by Kevin Hamilton on Apr 29, 2009 18:24:08 GMT -5
I will say the friends thing CAN work in some cases, though in the majority of situations, I'd say those saying it's better to just burn the bridge are probably right; that's not to say it's a no go even in your case, as only you know your situation. I probably would give myself some time away from her to digest stuff, deal with those doubts et al you're talking about if I were you, before I even attempted a 'friends' thing. The way I see it, "friends" can work just when: a) the breakup has come as a mutual decision b) some time has gone by, and both have successfully moved on with their life c) attraction and hard feelings are gone But then again, what kind of "friendship" is that? To me it's more like "politeness between two persons who used to be close, but have now grown apart and have not so much in common" And if that's not the case, who knows, the fire may still be burning, deep down. I'm pretty well in agreement with ya there. Primarily devil's advocate playing more than anything else. I'd still never say never, but would def. advise him to give it some time.
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Post by Crusty Ruffles on Apr 29, 2009 18:29:24 GMT -5
Even though it may not seem like it, others have had it far worse than you.
You'll be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Just stay away from the Ocean Spray.
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Grendel
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
But ... why is all the rum gone?
Posts: 17,593
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Post by Grendel on Apr 29, 2009 19:26:48 GMT -5
Ok, 1) I'm sorry to hear about what happened, it's always tough when affairs of the heart don't work out but time is a great healer. 2) I find that being friends with an ex is possible, I've done it and it seems to have worked out (but hey, that's just me). 3) STRIP CLUB!! I'm only going to the Nudie Bar if Al and Bud come along ...
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