Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2010 23:17:04 GMT -5
*Jay Carroll is spotted standing in front of a model drum kit with colored pads and a Nintendo Wii. In his hand he holds a scaled down model Les Paul guitar with colored frets, strumming it quickly in time to the images on the screen. His on screen counterpart is playing a guitar while air humping it, using it as a phallus* Oh, hey kids! I'm "Champagne" Jay Carroll, and I'm here to review the latest game based on the World Wrestlecrap Federation, Guitar Hero: Heavy Metal Hollywood Edition.*The screen flashes with the HME graphic:* Anyways, let's get on with the review, shall we?
First of all, this game rocks! You know, if a bunch of men wearing tons of black and playing guitar in the worst way possible fits your definition of "rocks", that is. The game follows the illustrious career of HME, from their start, which was when Dave was on a bender, saw the movie "Airheads", and decided that becoming Brendan Frasier was an excellent idea, up until their present day status, a bunch of guys who pay their bills by wrestling, because they suck at their dream jobs.
You get to choose between playing as Dave the guitarist, the Headbanger Man, as drummer, Koda on bass, and Viva on lead vocals. To be honest, the most fun to be had is by playing drums, since all Headbanger does is thrash about, and as long as you're making noise, you score lots of points. The least amount of fun is to be had in trying to mimic Viva's horrible vocals. Seriously, you have to swallow an entire beehive to sound as crappy and indecipherable as he does.
In the tour mode, you begin in the dregs of Hollywood, playing at whatever venue you're asked to play at, including a Bah Mitzvah. After "rocking out" in front of crowds of DOZENS, that's right kids, DOZENS, you're invited to a heavy metal revival convention. Once you arrive at Loserville, you're asked to cover one of those sappy love ballads that so many metal bands did in the 80s. If you manage to complete that challenge, you move on to touring North America, and later the world. But don't get too good at your craft, or your bandmates will toss you out for becoming good at your instrument. The final challenge is trying not to bore everyone to death at Gookermania 3, and boy, is it a doozy!
Don't fear, this game isn't all bad. You can costume HME anyway you choose to. I choose to put all 4 members in pink tutus.*Jay points to the screen. Koda is spinning while playing his bass, while Dave and Viva are singing into a microphone together. Headbanger Man is thrashing on drums. All 4 are wearing pink tutus.* Overall, the game was more of a chore than fun to play. If you're not an fanatic over this group of losers, I'd avoid it at all costs. I give the game one champagne bottle out of five, and the one champagne bottle is filled with piss.
I gotta finish this Gookermania 3 challenge, Dave's guitar work keeps pissing off the crowd. Dammit, why doesn't he ever tune the thing?!*Jay goes back to trying to play the guitar. The video game crowd can be heard booing loudly as Jay attempts to play.* OOC: ;D I got bored, guys. Congrats man. You've been promoted to official WWCF Merchandise Reviewer! Let's give him a hand! That was awesome, man. ;D
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Post by Metalheadbanger Man on Mar 4, 2010 1:53:23 GMT -5
You're a funny guy, Jay. A real card.
You can insult us all you like, mate. Hey, ever since we formed the Heavy Metal Express, that's all anybody has done. Make stupid jokes about us. But then we it came down to the really important aspect...success...they all had to sit there and watch as we rose to the top of the tag team division. They watched us prevail when everybody was saying we wouldn't amount to anything. Little Naitch, who's apparently supposed to be a nice guy, tried his damndest to belittle us. But then we took the tag straps away from him and he soon changed his tune. He had to concede that the better team won.
You see, Jay. You may have won at WarGames, but every time we've stepped into the ring, the outcome has always been the same. The Heavy Metal Express have beaten you guys. So yeah, go ahead and play our game. Mock it all you like. At least we're worthy enough to have a game, unlike you. At least people car enough about us to actually purchase our merchandise. Even Seth Drakin agrees that Heavy Metal Hollywood is the most dominant stable in this company, and he doesn't like any of us either. I've got used to not being liked. It motivates me to be a better competitor, just so I can prove idiots like you wrong. It seems to be working so far.
Jay, prepare to get another taste of my appetite for destruction. The Sam may have seen you as worthy to join his little club, but to me you're just another obstacle on the path to domination in the WWCF.
Heavy Metal Hollywood is not to be taken lightly. If you fail to recognise that by now, then you have some sort of severe problem with your brain. We're the top dogs around this place at the moment, and if you don't like it...we don't care.
By the way, we're way better than The Lone Rangers. Adam Sandler ain't got s**t on me.
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Post by thesam07 on Mar 4, 2010 1:59:06 GMT -5
First off, it was Daves idea. I was just doing my job. And I have paid for my sins. Secondly what were YOU doing in the Red Light District? Thirdly, those "inbred hillbillies" as you call them have set the standard and are considered by their peers and by the fans as the best wrestlers in the world today. No one is saying that about Amigo, a guy who could of been one of the greatest of all time. But instead decided to get bitter and drunk and waste his opportunities. Actions speak louder than words Amigo. And SWC have shown why they are the greatest - wait, scratch that - the GREATEST TAG TEAM EVER! And you are just "someone". My ass. You gleefully went through with it, and if it worked, you'd be yukking it up all of this time, pretending that you thought of it. And what I was doing there? What do you think? Also, some may care about Littlenaitch, to me, no matter what he does, he'll always be under your taint, and hence, always second best, but Tyfo has been and always will be useless to me. And lastly, who in the Hell are YOU to call ANY wrestler here "Someone"? Who in the Hell do you think you are?!? You are a glorified cheerleader! All YOU have ever done is leech off others to mask your overall uselessness! I hate Seth, it's no surprise, but I can say that he did make it to the top, and won the big one, and he made his own belt, and while I hated it's rules, that took both balls and creativity. And hey, I'll admit, he is pretty smart. You? You aren't smart, you aren't skillful, you weren't a cood color commentator, you weren't a good GM, nothing! I've won titles and tournaments all over the damn world, while you were hawking used cars in New f***in' Jersey! My STOOL has more redeeming qualities and overall usefulness compared to you! WHO ARE TO SAY YOUR A WRESTLER AMIGO!? You've walked out of the company so many times they should start calling you Marty Jannetty. You quit when you lost the title, one month after ya won it, 2 weeks after you decided you didn't need my help. Well you didn't get my help and what happened? YA LOST!! You say I was a bad commentator? Well it takes 2 to tango. I'm only as good as my partner. Who was my partner? IT WAS YOU AGAIN! AND YOU QUIT! AGAIN! I was forced out and tricked out of the business I love. The business I have spent my ENTIRE LIFE supporting. The business that has helped pay for my Mothers funeral. The business that put food on my table. The business that put a roof over my families head for so many years. I HAVE BLED MORE BLOOD! I HAVE SWEATED MORE SWEAT! I HAVE BROKEN MORE BONES THAN ANYONE SHOULD! I HAVE GIVEN MY ENTIRE BEING TO THIS BUSINESS! A BUSINESS I LOVE! and you say I'm a joke? Well F*** YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON! The reason people have fear for you is because they realize they have to work with an incompetent, loud mouth, lucky a**hole who couldn't draw a dime if you covered him in glue and dragged him through Fort Knox.
So while I make other people look good each and every night. You can continue to stand around the locker room and beat your chest while a**holes like Square get so far up your a** they could be confused for a colostomy bag. Until someone says "Hey Amigo, sober up and do your job!". Then you suddenly DISAPPEAR!
Your a joke Amigo. And no one is laughing with you.
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Viva
Dennis Stamp
THAT'S MY PURSE! *kick to the groin*
You can dance if you want to.
Posts: 4,099
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Post by Viva on Mar 4, 2010 2:26:33 GMT -5
*WWCF Heavyweight Champion, "The King Of Hollywood" Viva Los Bio Dome is seen backstage with his strap around his shoulder.* Oh... Hello. I didn't notice you there. I was too busy being the WWCF World Heavyweight Champion... of the world. As you may have all heard, I got booted from the Tournament of Honor. Just another case of Seth Drakin holding people down after they've proven him wrong. You know what, I don't blame him. If I were him, I wouldn't want another title around the waist of the Most Dangerous Man in the WWCF, either.
You know, I don't mean to brag, but is there anyone out there who can stop me? I've ended three careers in the last 3 months. Last night, I cemented my hall of fame career with a title win. And you know what, folks? I'm not done. Jazzman's reign as longest champion is going down in flames. And why? Because I simply have what it takes to defeat any contender. I am head and shoulders above the rest right now, and I am a man of impeccable character. I may have ended Aaron Enigma's career, but I let him say goodbye. I LET HIM SAY GOODBYE! *Pats self on back.* Can you believe this s***? I don't live up to hype, I define hype. Everyone out there who bought in to my new attitude, my new mentality, they've been proven correct.
It's time to party, my friends. I'm kickin' back and waiting for the next person to send either out of this company for good or to the emergency room. Jessica: You forget that when you made that deal with Aaron, I couldn't allow you to stay in the tournament because if you lost said match.....you would be out of the company and you would attempt to use this tournament as a cover to stay in. I made sure you could not do that. Sorry if when you won your match, TTS already took your spot. Those are the breaks in life. Who let a woman sit at the big boys table? Honestly, Jessica, that sounds like another turd in the wide array of bulls*** you've fed me before. The sooner you and your bottom, Seth, admit you don't like me and refuse to acknowledge my success as real, I don't have much to say to you. I'll win that Tournament of Honor title over time, and it'll drive you two up the wall. These are facts.
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,072
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on Mar 4, 2010 2:27:24 GMT -5
WHO ARE TO SAY YOUR A WRESTLER AMIGO!? You've walked out of the company so many times they should start calling you Marty Jannetty. You quit when you lost the title, one month after ya won it, 2 weeks after you decided you didn't need my help. Well you didn't get my help and what happened? YA LOST!! You say I was a bad commentator? Well it takes 2 to tango. I'm only as good as my partner. Who was my partner? IT WAS YOU AGAIN! AND YOU QUIT! AGAIN! I was forced out and tricked out of the business I love. The business I have spent my ENTIRE LIFE supporting. The business that has helped pay for my Mothers funeral. The business that put food on my table. The business that put a roof over my families head for so many years. I HAVE BLED MORE BLOOD! I HAVE SWEATED MORE SWEAT! I HAVE BROKEN MORE BONES THAN ANYONE SHOULD! I HAVE GIVEN MY ENTIRE BEING TO THIS BUSINESS! A BUSINESS I LOVE! and you say I'm a joke? Well F*** YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON! The reason people have fear for you is because they realize they have to work with an incompetent, loud mouth, lucky a**hole who couldn't draw a dime if you covered him in glue and dragged him through Fort Knox.
So while I make other people look good each and every night. You can continue to stand around the locker room and beat your chest while a**holes like Square get so far up your a** they could be confused for a colostomy bag. Until someone says "Hey Amigo, sober up and do your job!". Then you suddenly DISAPPEAR!
Your a joke Amigo. And no one is laughing with you.
Well, you know, when one has liver cancer from a contaimiated bottle, and is almost on the verge of dying, and desperately needing a transplant, one tends not to care about other things, because you know, almost dying, which by the way, I know you would give up like a puss and die. You Sam, have never contributed anything here. No blood, no sweat, no bones, nothing. Oh, except ass kissing. Plenty of that from you to go around. And you *really* don't care about wrestling, you know a swine like you can exploit it's dirty nature for a quick buck or two. So, let's not pretend that you actually are needed in our fine establishment. Oh, and you weren't tricked, you were exposed by Aaron. Whether people fear me or not is not a concern of mine. The fact is that I have injured several people here to the point where they could not compete here any longer. Also, I'd like to say that without my quest in the first tournament, there might not have been a WWCF except for that one month. I'd like to say farewell in your self-absorbed delusions, but that would make me think you have left for good, and we can't have that, can we?
*Logs off*
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2010 10:22:39 GMT -5
You're a funny guy, Jay. A real card.
You can insult us all you like, mate. Hey, ever since we formed the Heavy Metal Express, that's all anybody has done. Make stupid jokes about us. But then we it came down to the really important aspect...success...they all had to sit there and watch as we rose to the top of the tag team division. They watched us prevail when everybody was saying we wouldn't amount to anything. Little Naitch, who's apparently supposed to be a nice guy, tried his damndest to belittle us. But then we took the tag straps away from him and he soon changed his tune. He had to concede that the better team won.
You see, Jay. You may have won at WarGames, but every time we've stepped into the ring, the outcome has always been the same. The Heavy Metal Express have beaten you guys. So yeah, go ahead and play our game. Mock it all you like. At least we're worthy enough to have a game, unlike you. At least people car enough about us to actually purchase our merchandise. Even Seth Drakin agrees that Heavy Metal Hollywood is the most dominant stable in this company, and he doesn't like any of us either. I've got used to not being liked. It motivates me to be a better competitor, just so I can prove idiots like you wrong. It seems to be working so far.
Jay, prepare to get another taste of my appetite for destruction. The Sam may have seen you as worthy to join his little club, but to me you're just another obstacle on the path to domination in the WWCF.
Heavy Metal Hollywood is not to be taken lightly. If you fail to recognise that by now, then you have some sort of severe problem with your brain. We're the top dogs around this place at the moment, and if you don't like it...we don't care.
By the way, we're way better than The Lone Rangers. Adam Sandler ain't got s**t on me. You obviously never played Grand Theft Voodoo Chamapagne loser It's got cameo's by great WWCF Stars like none of them because all of them except me and Jay suck
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Mar 4, 2010 14:43:56 GMT -5
Jessica: You forget that when you made that deal with Aaron, I couldn't allow you to stay in the tournament because if you lost said match.....you would be out of the company and you would attempt to use this tournament as a cover to stay in. I made sure you could not do that. Sorry if when you won your match, TTS already took your spot. Those are the breaks in life. Who let a woman sit at the big boys table? Honestly, Jessica, that sounds like another turd in the wide array of bulls*** you've fed me before. The sooner you and your bottom, Seth, admit you don't like me and refuse to acknowledge my success as real, I don't have much to say to you. I'll win that Tournament of Honor title over time, and it'll drive you two up the wall. These are facts. Seth: You dare to treat my girlfriend and your commissioner like some maid in your kingdom? You may be King of Wrestlecrap, but since I have more power than you...........I am God of Wrestlecrap. She is Goddess of Wrestlecrap since she also has more power than you. It hasnt been that long ago since you went into my office and attempted to kiss my ass, all the while trying to hit on my girlfriend. At that time, I didnt give you much thought because you were simply only a Heatz Champion and of course, that title is now deceased.
Now that you are world champion, you seem to think that you can order the CEO and the Commissioner around. Well, you may have changed in your stature of this company, me and Morton are still your superiors and if one of us tells you to jump, you will ask me how high. And if I want to make you defend your title against someone, you will do just that or I will strip you of that belt faster than your anorexic groupies can go into the bathroom and force themselves to vomit. In fact, you will be defending your belt at Saved By The Bell against a mystery opponent.
Oh yeah, and since you decided to open your big yap to piss me off, your tag team champions you call friends will be punished as well because I am about to do something that while I dont like to do......it will teach you a lesson if I do so. In the tag team titles match, I am naming a special guest referee and that special guest ref will be an enemy of mine and an old friend of Dave's.............THESAM!!!!!!!
Maybe next time you will think before pissing me off.
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Viva
Dennis Stamp
THAT'S MY PURSE! *kick to the groin*
You can dance if you want to.
Posts: 4,099
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Post by Viva on Mar 4, 2010 15:11:39 GMT -5
Who let a woman sit at the big boys table? Honestly, Jessica, that sounds like another turd in the wide array of bulls*** you've fed me before. The sooner you and your bottom, Seth, admit you don't like me and refuse to acknowledge my success as real, I don't have much to say to you. I'll win that Tournament of Honor title over time, and it'll drive you two up the wall. These are facts. Seth: You dare to treat my girlfriend and your commissioner like some maid in your kingdom? You may be King of Wrestlecrap, but since I have more power than you...........I am God of Wrestlecrap. She is Goddess of Wrestlecrap since she also has more power than you. It hasnt been that long ago since you went into my office and attempted to kiss my ass, all the while trying to hit on my girlfriend. At that time, I didnt give you much thought because you were simply only a Heatz Champion and of course, that title is now deceased.
Now that you are world champion, you seem to think that you can order the CEO and the Commissioner around. Well, you may have changed in your stature of this company, me and Morton are still your superiors and if one of us tells you to jump, you will ask me how high. And if I want to make you defend your title against someone, you will do just that or I will strip you of that belt faster than your anorexic groupies can go into the bathroom and force themselves to vomit. In fact, you will be defending your belt at Saved By The Bell against a mystery opponent.
Oh yeah, and since you decided to open your big yap to piss me off, your tag team champions you call friends will be punished as well because I am about to do something that while I dont like to do......it will teach you a lesson if I do so. In the tag team titles match, I am naming a special guest referee and that special guest ref will be an enemy of mine and an old friend of Dave's.............THESAM!!!!!!!
Maybe next time you will think before pissing me off. I guess this is supposed to be the part in the story where I cower in fear. Why? Since you've taken over as CEO and put your skank little bitch in as Commissioner, what have you been good for? Ignoring the hot hand while you push your own jaded agenda? Face it, Seth, you're a f***ing loser. You're surrounded by losers, and you're horrified at the prospect of a winner like me making your girlfriends panties melt. Remember, you're the one who had to check the smile on your precious little girlfriends face as I walked out the door. I get women hotter than Jessica on the f***ing nightly, the only reason I'd even waste a nut on that broad is to make you jealous. Mission f***ing accomplished, months later.
A mystery opponent? Apparently you want to serve up your little cronies a nice warm plate of the hottest kick ass you can find. You're sending in a mystery opponent, one I can only assume has close ties to you, to start a war with the most dangerous man in the WWCF? You think I earned that title by throwing tea parties? This is just another classic example of you selling me short.
But while you're off having dinner and a movie with your girl, I'm headlining shows with my band and getting more groupies than you could think of. It's plain as day now more than ever that you're jealous, and quite frankly, I don't blame you. You've failed by and large at everything you've tried your hand at since becoming Commissioner. Buyrates? Steadily declining. Ticket sales? All time low. Matches? Why bother, man. You couldn't fight your way out of a paper bag anymore. You got beat by The Sam, and no offense to him, because I think the guy is an absolute genius, but the guy is a manager. And the thing is, I hurt your product. I put my foot in the ass of your best merchandise sellers. Aaron sold more magnifying glasses than George Foreman sells grills. He's gone now. Of course you'll do whatever it takes to rid the WWCF of the garbage man.
I don't even get why The Sam is going to special guest referee. Why don't you guest referee? Maybe you can do a job right, for a change,
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Mar 4, 2010 16:51:34 GMT -5
Seth: You dare to treat my girlfriend and your commissioner like some maid in your kingdom? You may be King of Wrestlecrap, but since I have more power than you...........I am God of Wrestlecrap. She is Goddess of Wrestlecrap since she also has more power than you. It hasnt been that long ago since you went into my office and attempted to kiss my ass, all the while trying to hit on my girlfriend. At that time, I didnt give you much thought because you were simply only a Heatz Champion and of course, that title is now deceased.
Now that you are world champion, you seem to think that you can order the CEO and the Commissioner around. Well, you may have changed in your stature of this company, me and Morton are still your superiors and if one of us tells you to jump, you will ask me how high. And if I want to make you defend your title against someone, you will do just that or I will strip you of that belt faster than your anorexic groupies can go into the bathroom and force themselves to vomit. In fact, you will be defending your belt at Saved By The Bell against a mystery opponent.
Oh yeah, and since you decided to open your big yap to piss me off, your tag team champions you call friends will be punished as well because I am about to do something that while I dont like to do......it will teach you a lesson if I do so. In the tag team titles match, I am naming a special guest referee and that special guest ref will be an enemy of mine and an old friend of Dave's.............THESAM!!!!!!!
Maybe next time you will think before pissing me off. I guess this is supposed to be the part in the story where I cower in fear. Why? Since you've taken over as CEO and put your skank little bitch in as Commissioner, what have you been good for? Ignoring the hot hand while you push your own jaded agenda? Face it, Seth, you're a f***ing loser. You're surrounded by losers, and you're horrified at the prospect of a winner like me making your girlfriends panties melt. Remember, you're the one who had to check the smile on your precious little girlfriends face as I walked out the door. I get women hotter than Jessica on the f***ing nightly, the only reason I'd even waste a nut on that broad is to make you jealous. Mission f***ing accomplished, months later.
A mystery opponent? Apparently you want to serve up your little cronies a nice warm plate of the hottest kick ass you can find. You're sending in a mystery opponent, one I can only assume has close ties to you, to start a war with the most dangerous man in the WWCF? You think I earned that title by throwing tea parties? This is just another classic example of you selling me short.
But while you're off having dinner and a movie with your girl, I'm headlining shows with my band and getting more groupies than you could think of. It's plain as day now more than ever that you're jealous, and quite frankly, I don't blame you. You've failed by and large at everything you've tried your hand at since becoming Commissioner. Buyrates? Steadily declining. Ticket sales? All time low. Matches? Why bother, man. You couldn't fight your way out of a paper bag anymore. You got beat by The Sam, and no offense to him, because I think the guy is an absolute genius, but the guy is a manager. And the thing is, I hurt your product. I put my foot in the ass of your best merchandise sellers. Aaron sold more magnifying glasses than George Foreman sells grills. He's gone now. Of course you'll do whatever it takes to rid the WWCF of the garbage man.
I don't even get why The Sam is going to special guest referee. Why don't you guest referee? Maybe you can do a job right, for a change, *Seth starts laughing.* Seth: Sorry to laugh at your big speech, but I found a few things funny while you were talking.
1) I know for a fact that Jessica doesn't date people who look like a hermit. She also doesnt date anyone who probably hasnt taken a shower in a long ass time because when the audience says that you stink, they are not talking about your abilities in the ring, they are talking about your body odor. She has a PhD while you probably dont even have a High School diploma. Hell, if you had any sorts of intelligence, you would know that I am CEO and not Commissioner. Face it man, you are not in her league.
2) She was smiling because she was trying to contain her laughter because your pickup lines, she hadnt heard anything so pathetic since Mel Gibson got drunk off his ass. I was checking her smile because you getting laughed at when you debut a new persona doesn't exactly make the talent feel welcome. Not a very good business practice in this profession.
3) Your mystery opponent could be anyone. It could be someone who doesn't like me at all. There are alot more people in that catagory and when you are the boss, you expect that. This match will not be about rewarding my friends, rather to show you how useless you are by having the best person out there wipe that smirk off your face.
4) You really got some bad intel on the ratings because ever since I became CEO, the ratings have been higher than they have ever been. But I am a bit humble to know that I only bring in the revenue in advertising (which I do well), not the ratings. The high ratings are brought on by more talent who are hungry for the spotlight.
5) And why Sam instead of myself....I guess that should be a question I will be asking you. In fact since you are not the brightest guy out there, I will give you multiple choices. Is it....
A. Because while the Sam hates me, I didnt get him involved in a situation where he would be fired as Commissioner. Dave did that.
B. I'm the guy in charge here so I don't have to.
C. I could be doing something else, maybe involving myself in your World Title Match.
Or is it....
D. All of the above.
I know that will stump you for a few minutes so I'll leave you to let you figure that one out.
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Viva
Dennis Stamp
THAT'S MY PURSE! *kick to the groin*
You can dance if you want to.
Posts: 4,099
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Post by Viva on Mar 4, 2010 17:43:59 GMT -5
You continue to lampoon me as unintelligent yet since you've taken a vested interest in holding me down I've done nothing but turn your company upside down. Last I checked, littlenaitch hasn't let your little bitch ass off of his leash, and until he does, I have no reason to think anything of you. I pray to god for you to try and tangle with me, pussy. I would LOVE for you to interfere in my match so you can be brought up in the same breath as Stryker, Ganzo Bomb, and even your precious little money maker Aaron Enigma. You aren't a scary guy. You're not intimidating. RYou're a has been that couldn't hack it in the ring anymore and strong armed your way into CEO. A point that is proven correct time and time again when you get in that ring and get your ass handed to you by non-wrestlers. A real CEO would do whatever it takes to keep his top draw on the top of the card. He wouldn't be bitching like a little pussy because his girlfriend wants a different flavor of cock meat. Ratings were at an all time low, but are now slowly climbing out of the cellar thanks to fantastic performances in that ring weekly by yours truly. When I'm not on the card, the world stops caring. More proof just how out of the loop you are. Oh, and what's with this oversaturation of product? The only thing worth selling at WWCFshop.com is Rock Band: Heavy Metal Hollywood.
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Post by Jay Carroll on Mar 4, 2010 19:12:30 GMT -5
You're a funny guy, Jay. A real card.
You can insult us all you like, mate. Hey, ever since we formed the Heavy Metal Express, that's all anybody has done. Make stupid jokes about us. But then we it came down to the really important aspect...success...they all had to sit there and watch as we rose to the top of the tag team division. They watched us prevail when everybody was saying we wouldn't amount to anything. Little Naitch, who's apparently supposed to be a nice guy, tried his damndest to belittle us. But then we took the tag straps away from him and he soon changed his tune. He had to concede that the better team won.
You see, Jay. You may have won at WarGames, but every time we've stepped into the ring, the outcome has always been the same. The Heavy Metal Express have beaten you guys. So yeah, go ahead and play our game. Mock it all you like. At least we're worthy enough to have a game, unlike you. At least people car enough about us to actually purchase our merchandise. Even Seth Drakin agrees that Heavy Metal Hollywood is the most dominant stable in this company, and he doesn't like any of us either. I've got used to not being liked. It motivates me to be a better competitor, just so I can prove idiots like you wrong. It seems to be working so far.
Jay, prepare to get another taste of my appetite for destruction. The Sam may have seen you as worthy to join his little club, but to me you're just another obstacle on the path to domination in the WWCF.
Heavy Metal Hollywood is not to be taken lightly. If you fail to recognise that by now, then you have some sort of severe problem with your brain. We're the top dogs around this place at the moment, and if you don't like it...we don't care.
By the way, we're way better than The Lone Rangers. Adam Sandler ain't got s**t on me. Really, we're playing the "Seth Drakin respects us" card? You think I care about what he supposedly "respects"? I don't. And LN is too much of a polite individual to tell you that you suck. I'm not so polite. I'll mock your merch. I'll make fun of your drumming. I don't care what title you hold now, you're bound to lose it soon enough. And the truth of the matter is, you didn't so much as earn the Tag Titles as you gained them due to being in the right place at the right time.
Yourluck runs out soon enough.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Mar 4, 2010 19:14:00 GMT -5
You continue to lampoon me as unintelligent yet since you've taken a vested interest in holding me down I've done nothing but turn your company upside down. Last I checked, littlenaitch hasn't let your little bitch ass off of his leash, and until he does, I have no reason to think anything of you. I pray to god for you to try and tangle with me, pussy. I would LOVE for you to interfere in my match so you can be brought up in the same breath as Stryker, Ganzo Bomb, and even your precious little money maker Aaron Enigma. You aren't a scary guy. You're not intimidating. RYou're a has been that couldn't hack it in the ring anymore and strong armed your way into CEO. A point that is proven correct time and time again when you get in that ring and get your ass handed to you by non-wrestlers. A real CEO would do whatever it takes to keep his top draw on the top of the card. He wouldn't be bitching like a little pussy because his girlfriend wants a different flavor of cock meat. Ratings were at an all time low, but are now slowly climbing out of the cellar thanks to fantastic performances in that ring weekly by yours truly. When I'm not on the card, the world stops caring. More proof just how out of the loop you are. Oh, and what's with this oversaturation of product? The only thing worth selling at WWCFshop.com is Rock Band: Heavy Metal Hollywood. Seth: The only thing LN has over me is that deal where I have to get his permission to wrestle. But personally, I am done with that world. I only fight when I need to and I wasnt talking about interfering in your match. No...............I only save that honor for those who are worth my time and quite frankly, you are not.
And when you say "you are not on the card, the world stops caring", arent you forgeting about those guys who are your bandmates. Are you considering them lower than you? That is not a very good quality that comes from a lead singer.
Also, this whole notion that I get my ass kicked by non-wrestlers is false. You might want to remember that at Wargames, neither Sam nor I were in that ring so there was no asskicking to be had. The two of us were more like chess players and I will admit, my team imploded allowing Sam to get the checkmate on me. But if me and Sam fought in the same ring, there would be no doubt that I would have the advantage, no matter how hard Sam trains.
Also, a real CEO would make sure his card would be good from top to bottom and as far as WWCF is, it is. And I'm not sad you got rid of Aaron. Sure it sucks to lose a unique guy like him, but here is the thing you seem to forget. With him gone, that just leaves more room for others to take over and trust me, they will.
The only reason I am even having this discussion with you is because you dont know your place in this company and you seem to think that women are lower than you despite the fact that one woman seems to have the power that you wish you could hold.
Get with the times Sam as women are just as equal to this world as men. Also, you may want to get a vocal coach because your voice on stage makes the Insane Clown Posse sound decent.
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Viva
Dennis Stamp
THAT'S MY PURSE! *kick to the groin*
You can dance if you want to.
Posts: 4,099
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Post by Viva on Mar 4, 2010 20:21:06 GMT -5
You continue to lampoon me as unintelligent yet since you've taken a vested interest in holding me down I've done nothing but turn your company upside down. Last I checked, littlenaitch hasn't let your little bitch ass off of his leash, and until he does, I have no reason to think anything of you. I pray to god for you to try and tangle with me, pussy. I would LOVE for you to interfere in my match so you can be brought up in the same breath as Stryker, Ganzo Bomb, and even your precious little money maker Aaron Enigma. You aren't a scary guy. You're not intimidating. RYou're a has been that couldn't hack it in the ring anymore and strong armed your way into CEO. A point that is proven correct time and time again when you get in that ring and get your ass handed to you by non-wrestlers. A real CEO would do whatever it takes to keep his top draw on the top of the card. He wouldn't be bitching like a little pussy because his girlfriend wants a different flavor of cock meat. Ratings were at an all time low, but are now slowly climbing out of the cellar thanks to fantastic performances in that ring weekly by yours truly. When I'm not on the card, the world stops caring. More proof just how out of the loop you are. Oh, and what's with this oversaturation of product? The only thing worth selling at WWCFshop.com is Rock Band: Heavy Metal Hollywood. Seth: The only thing LN has over me is that deal where I have to get his permission to wrestle. But personally, I am done with that world. I only fight when I need to and I wasnt talking about interfering in your match. No...............I only save that honor for those who are worth my time and quite frankly, you are not.
And when you say "you are not on the card, the world stops caring", arent you forgeting about those guys who are your bandmates. Are you considering them lower than you? That is not a very good quality that comes from a lead singer.
Also, this whole notion that I get my ass kicked by non-wrestlers is false. You might want to remember that at Wargames, neither Sam nor I were in that ring so there was no asskicking to be had. The two of us were more like chess players and I will admit, my team imploded allowing Sam to get the checkmate on me. But if me and Sam fought in the same ring, there would be no doubt that I would have the advantage, no matter how hard Sam trains.
Also, a real CEO would make sure his card would be good from top to bottom and as far as WWCF is, it is. And I'm not sad you got rid of Aaron. Sure it sucks to lose a unique guy like him, but here is the thing you seem to forget. With him gone, that just leaves more room for others to take over and trust me, they will.
The only reason I am even having this discussion with you is because you dont know your place in this company and you seem to think that women are lower than you despite the fact that one woman seems to have the power that you wish you could hold.
Get with the times Sam as women are just as equal to this world as men. Also, you may want to get a vocal coach because your voice on stage makes the Insane Clown Posse sound decent. First of all, don't call me Sam you retarded piece of s***. Secondly, am I insinuating that I am better than my band mates? You're GOD DAMN right I am. No one in this company is on my level. No one. Not you, not your skank girlfriend, not your predisposition to girly vampire movies. The sooner you get the truth through your head, the better. I've got parties to attend. You say I'm not worth your time, but time is money, bitch. And I make you millions.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Mar 4, 2010 23:43:03 GMT -5
Seth: The only thing LN has over me is that deal where I have to get his permission to wrestle. But personally, I am done with that world. I only fight when I need to and I wasnt talking about interfering in your match. No...............I only save that honor for those who are worth my time and quite frankly, you are not.
And when you say "you are not on the card, the world stops caring", arent you forgeting about those guys who are your bandmates. Are you considering them lower than you? That is not a very good quality that comes from a lead singer.
Also, this whole notion that I get my ass kicked by non-wrestlers is false. You might want to remember that at Wargames, neither Sam nor I were in that ring so there was no asskicking to be had. The two of us were more like chess players and I will admit, my team imploded allowing Sam to get the checkmate on me. But if me and Sam fought in the same ring, there would be no doubt that I would have the advantage, no matter how hard Sam trains.
Also, a real CEO would make sure his card would be good from top to bottom and as far as WWCF is, it is. And I'm not sad you got rid of Aaron. Sure it sucks to lose a unique guy like him, but here is the thing you seem to forget. With him gone, that just leaves more room for others to take over and trust me, they will.
The only reason I am even having this discussion with you is because you dont know your place in this company and you seem to think that women are lower than you despite the fact that one woman seems to have the power that you wish you could hold.
Get with the times Sam as women are just as equal to this world as men. Also, you may want to get a vocal coach because your voice on stage makes the Insane Clown Posse sound decent. First of all, don't call me Sam you retarded piece of s***. Secondly, am I insinuating that I am better than my band mates? You're GOD DAMN right I am. No one in this company is on my level. No one. Not you, not your skank girlfriend, not your predisposition to girly vampire movies. The sooner you get the truth through your head, the better. I've got parties to attend. You say I'm not worth your time, but time is money, bitch. And I make you millions. Jessica: Then I suggest you attend those parties and leave because there is so much money a man can make with time before he starts losing it. You are certainly getting there where your wasting our time and losing money.
Oh yeah, and the only skanks I see in this room is you.
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Viva
Dennis Stamp
THAT'S MY PURSE! *kick to the groin*
You can dance if you want to.
Posts: 4,099
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Post by Viva on Mar 4, 2010 23:52:55 GMT -5
First of all, don't call me Sam you retarded piece of s***. Secondly, am I insinuating that I am better than my band mates? You're GOD DAMN right I am. No one in this company is on my level. No one. Not you, not your skank girlfriend, not your predisposition to girly vampire movies. The sooner you get the truth through your head, the better. I've got parties to attend. You say I'm not worth your time, but time is money, bitch. And I make you millions. Jessica: Then I suggest you attend those parties and leave because there is so much money a man can make with time before he starts losing it. You are certainly getting there where your wasting our time and losing money.
Oh yeah, and the only skanks I see in this room is you. I don't even know what to say to that. At least I come by it honestly?
There is only so much money a man can make with time before he starts losing it? Ask Warren Buffett if that's true. Seriously, for someone who calls me unintelligent, you sure are putting your foot in your mouth.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Mar 5, 2010 0:36:40 GMT -5
Jessica: Then I suggest you attend those parties and leave because there is so much money a man can make with time before he starts losing it. You are certainly getting there where your wasting our time and losing money.
Oh yeah, and the only skanks I see in this room is you. I don't even know what to say to that. At least I come by it honestly?
There is only so much money a man can make with time before he starts losing it? Ask Warren Buffett if that's true. Seriously, for someone who calls me unintelligent, you sure are putting your foot in your mouth. Seth: That is for employers, not employees and you are an employee here. Smart employers like Jessica and myself, dont have to worry about losing money by wasting others time, but you on the other hand......you wasting our time does lose money.
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smokinvokoun
Dennis Stamp
Daffy's Gonna Kill You
Posts: 4,770
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Post by smokinvokoun on Mar 5, 2010 2:55:54 GMT -5
Ah...Titanothere...just look us. We are both in the Tournament of Honor. The winner is the number one contender to the WWCF World Championship. And you and I are put in there..RIGHT FROM THE START!!! They put the biggest...the baddest and the most brutal in the same ring ...YOU AND I!!! And let me tell you something Titanothere..they didn't do it on accident. No you see all these so called "stars" and "legends" of the WWCF put us together because they don't want to face us. They don't know how to deal with our kind of wrestler...especailly...me. Oh, I can just imagine the scene with guys like Evil M or Jazzman of Jay Carroll, any one of these so called "Main Eventers"....
*He gets down us his knees and looks up...he takes a deep breath*
"OH PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE...MR.DRAKIN!!! Please don't put us against Smokin Vokoun...he's too dangerous...he's too nuts to get in the ring with! You saw what he did to Tyfo and Little Naitch...imagine what he can to LITTLE OL ME!!! Put him in the ring with Titanothere...he will be the perfect choice to soften up Smokin Vokoun."
THAT'S RIGHT TITANOTHERE!!! The reason they put us to together is because they wanted the biggest of the big boys to take out Ol' Smokie...or least...SOFTEN HIM UP!!! Do you really think that the WWCF really wants me..Smokin Vokoun as the World Heavyweight Champion? The face of the WWCF promotion. Can you imagine the response that would be, if I won the belt? The new sites would explode with anger..the internet would EXPLODE WITH RAGE. And Seth Napkin...or Drunken or whatever the hell his name is will look at this situation and say..
*Imitating Seth Drakin's voice*
"What in the hell is going on here...how can this "big", "ugly", "ragged" looking man win our World Championship? It's ridiculous it's preposterous, it's down right insane. I can't put this man's face on a WWCF COFFEE MUG!!! Or a WWCF CHRISMAS ORNAMENT!! Hell, I don't even want his ugly face on a box of WWCF BRAND CEREAL!!!. What do you think Jessica?
*Imitates Jessica Morton's voice*
" I don't know Seth..I think he's strangely kinda hot..."
*Back to Seth's voice*
"HEY....SHUT UP"
*he pauses for a second and looks into the camera*
So that's why they put me with you...it wasn't no luck of the draw. Everyone knows that big ugly guys aren't supposed to be World Champions...and that's pretty much me Titanothere...a big ugly guy...A BIG UGLY GUY..WITH A SICK MIND!!! But I'm gonna beat their silly game Titanothere...yeah..beat their game. BY BEATING YOU FIRST!!! Titanothere... I know you have dreams of being the WWCF Champion..but you have to realize that dreams don't always come true and your match with me this Monday...WILL BE A NIGHTMARE!!!!
Cause Smokin Vokoun....isn't jokin.[/color]
Fade to Black
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Post by delurked on Mar 5, 2010 6:35:49 GMT -5
Vokoun, a couple of quick points:
One: Unless the rules have changed and no one told me (which is entirely possible, since I don't read the dirt sheets or subscribe to WWCF@Twitter.com), the Tournament of Honor isn't for a chance to compete for the WWCF Championship. It for the Belt of Honor, a title Mister Drakin is reintroducing to the company.
Two: while its obvious the managment has participants in the Tournament that, and I'll say this as politely as I can, they would prefer to see win the title, I don't think there's any conspiracy to keep you from winning and having to put your face on WWCF merchandise.
Three: Guys like Jazzman and Evil M have seen it all in the ring. I doubt they're afraid of facing you. Hell, I'm not afraid of you, Smokin Vokoun, and I just got here!
I was joking before about you seeking professional help, Vokoun, but now I'm starting to get concerned. Delusions of grandeur and a persecution complex are both signs of serious mental illness. This may sound odd from the man who plans on beating you this Monday in the first round of the Tournanment of Honor, but you need to get your mind right before you wind up damaging your career, or worse.
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Viva
Dennis Stamp
THAT'S MY PURSE! *kick to the groin*
You can dance if you want to.
Posts: 4,099
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Post by Viva on Mar 5, 2010 16:48:59 GMT -5
When did this company turn into a f***ing dumbass convention? MY GOD PEOPLE, REMOVE YOUR HEAD FROM YOUR ASSES AND GET THEM ON A SWIVEL!
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Mar 5, 2010 16:50:11 GMT -5
When did this company turn into a f***ing dumbass convention? MY GOD PEOPLE, REMOVE YOUR HEAD FROM YOUR ASSES AND GET THEM ON A SWIVEL! Seth: Since you became Champion......
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