mrrotten
Don Corleone
The #1 Kaneinite
Posts: 2,066
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Post by mrrotten on Sept 23, 2009 15:23:39 GMT -5
What are things you learned from the movies?
For example, if I'm someplace, and I see animals heading in one direction, I'm going to follow them in that direction because we all know they're running from something dangerous. I'm not going to say, "Where they going?" as I stand around or head in the opposite direction.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2009 17:13:40 GMT -5
I learned that cars will explode when you shoot them once with a handgun, and that if I ever have to kill someone I should say a witty one-liner first.
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Post by Bob Schlapowitz on Sept 23, 2009 17:14:52 GMT -5
I learned that car chases apparently only occur after recent rainfall.
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default
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Blames Everything On Snitsky. Yes, Even THAT.
Posts: 17,056
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Post by default on Sept 23, 2009 17:24:52 GMT -5
If you run out of bullets, throw your gun.
Smoking is glamorous.
White men can't jump.
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Post by strykerdarksilence on Sept 23, 2009 17:42:16 GMT -5
If you're involved with the protagonist's Sister;
In an action movie, you're going to be a weasel who leaves your girl in a dangerous situation, causing her brother to kill you.
In a horror movie, you're probably the first to be offed.
In a thriller, you're going to taker her hostage and be hunted down by her brother.
In a romantic comedy, you're going to be replaced by Hugh Grant or Jude Law, possibly in the rain.
The lesson? Choose an only child for your better half.
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Magician under the moonlight
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Always Beaten To The Punchline. Always.
A magician and a thief. That's Badass
Posts: 15,727
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Post by Magician under the moonlight on Sept 23, 2009 18:09:55 GMT -5
The loser always gets the girl.
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Post by bibboid on Sept 23, 2009 18:18:53 GMT -5
If you are being stalked by a deranged psychotic killer and you shoot/stab/bludgeon him and he falls down.....do not do not DO NOT walk over to him and poke him to see if he is actually dead. Turn and run away as fast as you can for as long as you can.
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Jonathan Michaels
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
The Archduke of Levity
Here since TNA was still kinda okay
Posts: 18,151
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Post by Jonathan Michaels on Sept 23, 2009 18:21:39 GMT -5
ANYONE can hack into government computers by typing really fast.
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Post by Bob Schlapowitz on Sept 23, 2009 18:25:40 GMT -5
If you are trying to determine someone's computer password, just use the name of the first random object you see on their desk.
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Grendel
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
But ... why is all the rum gone?
Posts: 17,593
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Post by Grendel on Sept 23, 2009 19:47:32 GMT -5
If you see Chuck Norris walking down the street, pay attention. Something awesomely cool is about to happen.
Really hot women always seem to eventually fall for geeks, nerds, wimps, and other non alpha male types.
A bike messenger can afford a huge loft in New York City, along with a bunch of cool stuff.
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Post by Young Game on Sept 23, 2009 21:10:08 GMT -5
No matter how inept I may be at something, no matter how many times I've failed in the past, I will automatically become ace at it when all hope is lost, the chips are down, and it really, REALLY[/b], counts.
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Grendel
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
But ... why is all the rum gone?
Posts: 17,593
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Post by Grendel on Sept 23, 2009 22:28:48 GMT -5
A killer shark will follow you to another part of the ocean ... and jump out of the sea and roar ...
If a Megalodon is out there, you are screwed. Especially one that can change size and take down helicopters.
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Post by toddpolt on Sept 24, 2009 2:02:51 GMT -5
If you see Jackie Chan in a movie, he is ALWAYS the good guy.
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Post by Evilution E5150 on Sept 24, 2009 3:06:37 GMT -5
ANYONE can hack into government computers by typing really fast. and roller blading
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Post by Cela on Sept 24, 2009 3:35:00 GMT -5
People in prison are just misunderstood goofballs fo rthe most part, its the guards that are the real monsters.
If you need to escape and airlane or tall building, just grab a sheet and leap.
Saying "Bra" a lot gives you street cred.
All fights go down in honorable one on one melees. If more than one person is against you, they will wait for you to dispatch their friend before attacking. People are polite like that.
Anime rule: If anyone in an says "now I understand" be elsewhere. Furthermore, its never impossible, especially when you yell, "THATS IMPOSSIBLE."
Quirky beats rock hard abs any day of the week.
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Bo Rida
Fry's dog Seymour
Pulled one over on everyone. Got away with it, this time.
Posts: 23,519
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Post by Bo Rida on Sept 24, 2009 6:05:29 GMT -5
How to get a warp whistle in Super Mario 3.
Never to show a picture of a girlfriend/wife/kid while heading towards any potentially dangerous situation.
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Push R Truth
Patti Mayonnaise
Unique and Special Snowflake, and a pants-less heathen.
Perpetually Constipated
Posts: 39,288
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Post by Push R Truth on Sept 24, 2009 6:37:25 GMT -5
That ugly and angry girl is actually really hot and nice. All she needs to do is ditch the glasses and change her hair color.
Don't forget to lock your S-Foils in attack position, and STAY ON TARGET.
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Sept 24, 2009 6:52:10 GMT -5
Really hot women always seem to eventually fall for geeks, nerds, wimps, and other non alpha male types. Those who do fall for manly guys, however, are always arrogant superficial tarts, and will be first to be killed by the psycho/monster (unless there's a Black guy). The only sure way to kill someone in one shot is to aim for the head. Hearts and other vital organs heal almost instantely. Snipers don't seem to have learned the above lesson, as they ALWAYS aim for the chest, which may be (and by "may be," I mean "is") protected by kevlar, instead of the completely exposed and unprotected head. Internet = magic. Wearing white shirts is highly dangerous. You can be sure to be shot or/and stabbed tent minutes after leaving your house if you wear one. Why do secret agencies never hire children? They seem to be the only ones who manage escape even the most hardcore of battlefields without a scratch. There's nothing serial killers hate more than consensual sex between adults. Extraterrestrial civilizations who manage to build spaceships that travel through space at light speed are completely baffled by this "wooden door" technology. Also, unless they look like humans, those same aliens never got around the concept of "clothes." The space, enter and delete keys on your keyboard are completely useless. When you search for something on Google (or whatever the royalties-free clone you invented is called), you will always find THE web page that gives you all the information you were looking for on the first page. In fact, it's usually the first result. Also, you never find any creepy porn instead of what you thought you found. You can get a crystal clear portrait of a suspect by expanding a small, blurry, black and white reflection on a car's window seven times. In 10 second tops, too. And if you still can't see well enough, no problem, your super-awesome-facial-recognition-software-of-doom will find who it is in a matter of seconds. (See, that's part of the reason I like NCIS so much. Even when they do pull off similar stuff, it takes Abby hours if not days to do it, it's still not ridiculously good quality, just enough to tell who it is or who it could look like). If you missed the last Windows Vista update and you don't actually have a super-awesome-facial-recognition-software-of-doom, it's okay because your computer can still create a fully textured 3D model of the suspect face from the above blurry reflection on the window. Everyone who uses aesthetic surgery is an appearance-obsessed jerk and/or a surgery-addicted nutjob. No-one ever gets an aesthetic surgery to feel better in their skin, to fix the one problem that prevents them from looking good, let alone looking human again after an horrific accident. ALL gamers are asocial freaks with no-life who can't tell the difference between reality and fiction and are doomed to snap and murder everyone in town. The untrained, averagely-muscular girl will survive the zombie apocalypse. The muscle-bond officer with years of training and successes in both armed and unarmed combat however, won't. Houses are like pro wrestling rings: once you're getting attacked, it's suddenly impossible to leave them, and thought wouldn't even cross your mind. Shooting a security panel successfully jams the security system and allows you to open the door. I'm not sure why, but American people just love to sacrifice their lives for very silly reasons. Usually to redeem themselves for something no-one cared about. More to come.
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Triple Kelly
Vegeta
Not once, twice, but three times a Kelly
Posts: 9,470
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Post by Triple Kelly on Sept 24, 2009 6:57:10 GMT -5
Romantic relationships are really goofy and make me want to vomit.
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Post by Metalheadbanger Man on Sept 24, 2009 7:00:58 GMT -5
Don't take random detours on road trips.
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