Push R Truth
Patti Mayonnaise
Unique and Special Snowflake, and a pants-less heathen.
Perpetually Constipated
Posts: 39,288
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Post by Push R Truth on Sept 24, 2009 7:02:43 GMT -5
If there is a Giant Monster, mankind will figure out a way to stop it.
HOWEVER, said Giant Monster will return a second time... suddenly, mankind forgets all possible ways to stop it. But never fear, another monster that happens to hate the first one (or vice versa) will show up. And don't worry, one of them will always befriend the human race and win the fight in the end of the day.
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mrrotten
Don Corleone
The #1 Kaneinite
Posts: 2,066
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Post by mrrotten on Sept 24, 2009 12:07:06 GMT -5
I'm not sure why, but American people just love to sacrifice their lives for very silly reasons. Usually to redeem themselves for something no-one cared about. Because that's the American Way ;D If there is a Giant Monster, mankind will figure out a way to stop it. HOWEVER, said Giant Monster will return a second time... suddenly, mankind forgets all possible ways to stop it. But never fear, another monster that happens to hate the first one (or vice versa) will show up. And don't worry, one of them will always befriend the human race and win the fight in the end of the day. And if the good monster befriends alittle kid, do NOT mess with the kid or the monster will due unmentionable things to you (all mess gore beheading type things). |
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Post by bibboid on Sept 24, 2009 15:20:42 GMT -5
If a crazed killer is stalking you inside your house, at some point your cat will decide to leap off a piece of tall furniture and land on your head. Because cats are evil like that.
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Magician under the moonlight
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Always Beaten To The Punchline. Always.
A magician and a thief. That's Badass
Posts: 15,727
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Post by Magician under the moonlight on Sept 24, 2009 15:37:31 GMT -5
If someone dies, start crying and he'll come back to life. I nrver got that one though.
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Post by FrankGotch on Sept 24, 2009 16:10:06 GMT -5
If you are a cop, and you have a beautiful family don't get too attached.
Henchmen are a bigger threat to themselves then they are to you.
Even if you have killed every other person in the movie with a gun there is a good chance that you and the main bad guy will settle the final conflict with karate.
The last fight with the main bad guy is going to be a back and forth battle with him beating you up pretty bad most of the way through. It doesn't matter if he is old, and feeble. It doesn't matter if you just killed his 300lb body guard with relative ease. Somehow someway he is going to fight you until he can position himself to be thrown off of a ledge. Bonus points if he lands on a conveniently placed piece of pipe, or in some sort of industrial grinder.
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mrrotten
Don Corleone
The #1 Kaneinite
Posts: 2,066
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Post by mrrotten on Sept 24, 2009 16:27:53 GMT -5
The last fight with the main bad guy is going to be a back and forth battle with him beating you up pretty bad most of the way through. It doesn't matter if he is old, and feeble. It doesn't matter if you just killed his 300lb body guard with relative ease. Somehow someway he is going to fight you until he can position himself to be thrown off of a ledge. Bonus points if he lands on a conveniently placed piece of pipe, or in some sort of industrial grinder. Don't forget the "or" conveniently placed electrical grid. |
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Post by saintturgeon on Sept 24, 2009 17:09:32 GMT -5
I learned that if you hire a company to erase all of your memories about someone in a fit of anger, you will regret it, and somehow at the end be stuck in a constant loop, where you meet the person, get angry, and then erase her.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2009 17:12:02 GMT -5
If Roddy Piper tells you to put on a pair of sunglasses at night, you better f***ing do it!
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Hiroshi Hase
Patti Mayonnaise
The Good Ol' Days
Posts: 30,755
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Post by Hiroshi Hase on Sept 24, 2009 17:15:35 GMT -5
If you see Jackie Chan in a movie, he is ALWAYS the good guy. Actually he did play the bad guy early in his career in a Kung Fu flick called Killer Meteors with Jimmy Wang Yu. |
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Post by ritt works hard fo da chickens on Sept 24, 2009 17:20:29 GMT -5
A flare gun is infinitely more useful than a phone.
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Post by Shy Guy on Sept 24, 2009 17:36:35 GMT -5
don't get close with the person you just met. they're a cop.
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Grendel
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
But ... why is all the rum gone?
Posts: 17,593
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Post by Grendel on Sept 24, 2009 19:05:36 GMT -5
If you are a cop, and you have a beautiful family don't get too attached. Henchmen are a bigger threat to themselves then they are to you. Even if you have killed every other person in the movie with a gun there is a good chance that you and the main bad guy will settle the final conflict with karate. The last fight with the main bad guy is going to be a back and forth battle with him beating you up pretty bad most of the way through. It doesn't matter if he is old, and feeble. It doesn't matter if you just killed his 300lb body guard with relative ease. Somehow someway he is going to fight you until he can position himself to be thrown off of a ledge. Bonus points if he lands on a conveniently placed piece of pipe, or in some sort of industrial grinder. If a cop is just a few days from retirement, he best not leave his desk for anything, not even to go to the bathroom. If you have a platonic relationship with a member of the opposite sex (or your own, if that floats your boat), you will be hitting the sheets soon (I actually wish this one would happen to me from time to time. ;D) The guy who hasn't played all year and is a schmuck to boot will lead the team on a game winning drive in the playoffs or state tournament. No one wants to wrestle Shute, except for Louden Swain. If the blind guitar player says, "Names Dalton" after a bouncer kicks ass, you better listen up. |
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SmarkyMark
Team Rocket
My Arachnasense is tingling! Wrestlecrap must be near!
Posts: 849
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Post by SmarkyMark on Sept 24, 2009 19:22:30 GMT -5
No matter how big your adversary is, one well placed karate chop to the side of the neck will knock him out.
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mrrotten
Don Corleone
The #1 Kaneinite
Posts: 2,066
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Post by mrrotten on Dec 4, 2009 14:21:57 GMT -5
Don't mess with cemeteries of any type (especially Native American ones), or don't try to bring anybody back from death. It never works out. To quote the old guy from pet Cemetery "Sometimes Dead is better".
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Post by The Tank on Dec 4, 2009 14:27:26 GMT -5
Don't ever try to retire. Don't even come close to retiring. Quit whatever job you're working at well before you're supposed to retire or you will die.
The gold watch is NOT worth it.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2009 14:30:03 GMT -5
that anybody can be FROZEN TO-DAY!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2009 15:40:37 GMT -5
If you are an endearing character, but have a friend who is equally endearing, but much better looking - prepare to die.
Technology is evil, but man is the true evil.
Monsters are evil, but man is truely evil.
Never, ever carry or accept a briefcase.
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Grendel
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
But ... why is all the rum gone?
Posts: 17,593
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Post by Grendel on Dec 5, 2009 1:20:45 GMT -5
If you're a schmuck and a really hot woman is interested in you, she's either an alien come to lay her eggs in your gullet, a spy that needs you for a cover, or a mutant that needs to use your buttocks to carry a bunch of metal shavings to Magneto's plastic prison. It's best to stay away ...
The nerdy girl will be a total freak in the sack.
If you're in a strange town and the teenagers are freaking out to the cops about a monster run amok, and the cops ignore the group of teens, follow the teens and prepare to kill yourself a monster.
You can take one hit from a joint, cackle maniacally and run someone over without stopping. You also can magically play the same tune on the piano as the creepy guy before you did.
If you see a ripped, muscular Asian guy walking down the sidewalk with a dirty, torn shirt, blood on his face and a determined stride, follow him. Some intensely cool shit is about to go down. The same rule applies to Jason Statham.
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Jazzman
King Koopa
Trombone Shorty > Your Favorite Musician
Posts: 11,231
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Post by Jazzman on Dec 5, 2009 1:34:23 GMT -5
WWII ended when some American Jews blew up a Theatre that was being destroyed in a fire planned by a french jew. Also, They shot Hitler in the face alot.
Stay off of the lawn of a Korean war veteran who has a 1967 Gran Torino
Don't buzz the tower, you will get chewed out.
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erisi236
Fry's dog Seymour
... enjoys the rich, smooth taste of Camels.
Not good! Not good! Not good!
Posts: 21,904
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Post by erisi236 on Dec 5, 2009 3:50:33 GMT -5
* That Maglite flashlight you saw on tv getting run over with a steamroller and still being able to work was a fluke, the one you own will break just by you dropping it 3 feet to the ground right when you need it most.
* Any creature growing at least 2X it's normal size will also turn bullet proof.
* Any local law enforcement off the beaten path are in cahoots with the killers.
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