Massachusetts Teen Commits Suicide

[Jay Peas 42]

The real problem is crappy parenting, but we can't talk about that.

[Dr. T is an alien]

Apr 3, 2010 8:38:43 GMT -5 Jay Peas 42 said:

The real problem is crappy parenting, but we can't talk about that.

Sure you can. In fact, we have. Part of the problem is that often when a school contacts a parent about their kid being a bully, many parents either take offense to the allegation or think little of it because they think that it is not that big a deal. Way too often the excuse "Kids will be kids, and that is just something that kids do" is put out there as the reasoning behind bullying.

[MrBRulzOK]

Apr 3, 2010 1:10:48 GMT -5 Time Lord Soundwave said:

It amazes me (and by amazes, I mean sickens) that this sort of thing has a blind eye cast to it, and yet a twelve-year-old gets arrested for doodling on a desk???

What the hell is wrong with this species?

It's times like these that almost make you wish that humans ate their young.

[Jay Peas 42]

In Re: Yeah, here's the thing about kids. They start off as animals, and need to be cultivated into men, just as a bush needs constant trimming to become a topiary, or an vine needs to be trained on a trellis, or a tree needs to be cut into a bonsai. Allowing kids to be kids, is bad parenting, and for some reason, our culture seems reluctant to tell parents not to inflict the rest of us with their poorly socialized brood. Which is why we can't say, bad parenting.

Of course, I think this begs the question; Is this that socializing that home schooled kids are missing out on? [/scanner says snark up to NINE THOUSAND!!!]

[Kris Kobain]

Apr 3, 2010 15:16:55 GMT -5 Dr. T is an alien said:

Apr 3, 2010 8:38:43 GMT -5 Jay Peas 42 said:

The real problem is crappy parenting, but we can't talk about that.

Sure you can. In fact, we have. Part of the problem is that often when a school contacts a parent about their kid being a bully, many parents either take offense to the allegation or think little of it because they think that it is not that big a deal. Way too often the excuse "Kids will be kids, and that is just something that kids do" is put out there as the reasoning behind bullying.

Part of the problem is that the school doesn't always contact the parents.. My mom never knew what was going on with me in school unless I told her.

[Dr. T is an alien]

Apr 4, 2010 0:21:01 GMT -5 Kris Kobain said:

Apr 3, 2010 15:16:55 GMT -5 Dr. T is an alien said:

Sure you can. In fact, we have. Part of the problem is that often when a school contacts a parent about their kid being a bully, many parents either take offense to the allegation or think little of it because they think that it is not that big a deal. Way too often the excuse "Kids will be kids, and that is just something that kids do" is put out there as the reasoning behind bullying.

Part of the problem is that the school doesn't always contact the parents.. My mom never knew what was going on with me in school unless I told her.

Oh, I know. The only time that my parents got contacted by the school was when cold cocked in the hallway without seeing it coming. I got nailed pretty good and did not even realize itbecause I did not see it and got knocked loopy for about 15 seconds. When the fog cleared, I just wondered why I went into the wrong room. One minute later when I got to the right room the teacher asked why my face was bleeding, and I had to say that I did not have a clue. The school had to say something because I had bloody clothes and a huge shiner.

[joeskvorecky]

Er, I get most of the story, but people are being charged with statutory rape and there isn't much about that in the article, just that that's the charge. She had sex with someone who later bullied her? What's the deal?

[smokinvokoun]

I can't get this story out of my mind. It has really brought up alot of bad memories for me back in school. This whole thing is so sickening it's not funny. And the sad this isn't the first time this has happened. It's a growing problem, not just cyber bullying but suicide caused by bullying!!

[Subrick]

Shit like this sickens me. The incompetence of schools to do anything about stuff like this sickens me more.

[Orange]

Apr 4, 2010 19:57:13 GMT -5 Subrick said:

s*** like this sickens me. The incompetence of schools to do anything about stuff like this sickens me more.

This is why I wish somebody bigger than the schools (like the State, or even bigger than that) would step in and fix this.

[Subrick]

The schools don't give a shit. I've learned that the hard way. Neither do the cops. I had a bad experience in high school last year that I don't wanna get into a lot of detail about, but the cops were involved. The entire time they were involved with this, they were complete and utter dicks to ME, even though I was the one who got them involved due to shit happening to ME. You need to get your priorities straight when you are a cop being an absolute f***ing asshole to a person being bullied.

Sorry for the mini-rant, but I just needed to say that.

[BD Punk AKA SUSPENDED!]

Apr 4, 2010 16:20:49 GMT -5 joeskvorecky said:

Er, I get most of the story, but people are being charged with statutory rape and there isn't much about that in the article, just that that's the charge. She had sex with someone who later bullied her? What's the deal?

I was wondering about that too. Did the kids who bullied her also rape her? I know they called her a slut from the report. Either way, the whole story is just sad and totally preventable if someone had stepped in.

[Renslayer]

Apr 4, 2010 21:46:30 GMT -5 BD Punk AKA SUSPENDED! said:

Apr 4, 2010 16:20:49 GMT -5 joeskvorecky said:

Er, I get most of the story, but people are being charged with statutory rape and there isn't much about that in the article, just that that's the charge. She had sex with someone who later bullied her? What's the deal?

I was wondering about that too. Did the kids who bullied her also rape her? I know they called her a slut from the report. Either way, the whole story is just sad and totally preventable if someone had stepped in.

I think the article I posted earlier mentions that the guys had sex with the girl, told the bullyers and they teamed up ridicule her even more.

[Johnny Flamingo]

Reminds me of Columbine.

Bad shit going on right under the parents/teachers/towns noses and everyone is turning a blind eye to it. Then when something tragic happens, everyone seems so shocked.

If people would pay attention and have accountability (on all sides), stupid crap like this could possibly be prevented.

[Orange]

Apr 5, 2010 1:28:36 GMT -5 Johnny Flamingo said:

Reminds me of Columbine.

Bad s*** going on right under the parents/teachers/towns noses and everyone is turning a blind eye to it. Then when something tragic happens, everyone seems so shocked.

If people would pay attention and have accountability (on all sides), stupid crap like this could possibly be prevented.

Oh God, Columbine. I was young at the time but that legit made me fear going to school for a while, and all the other school shootings after it really didn't help either. Messed up people in this world.

[Kris Kobain]

It says something about her dating a football player who was older so that is likely the statoury rape part. It seems the football player would have been friends with the bullies. May I took it the wrong way.

As I mentioned earlier I became the guy who would go handle the bully situation at school. I can tell you that the school really didn't care. We would even have teachers tell the class that it was time we grow up and learn to take care of ourselves.

There was this kid after lunch once who was sitting outside and people were walking by him calling him an idiot amd telling him it was time to go to class. I didn't know the kid but I decided to stand next to him and defend him.
The next day at school one of my classmates said they were sorry for my loss and I asked what they were talking about. It turns out the kid killed himself the night before and this person thought we were friends because I was defending him.
What made it even more messed up was the night before the lunch incident a friend and I were eating at a pizza place and we heard a loud bang. We looked out the window and there was a bad car wreck. We finished eating and had to drive by the wreck to get where we were going. We saw them working on people and one body covered by a sheet.
Turns out the mother and sister of the kid I defended were the ones in the wreck and both died.
So this kid has just had this terrible thing happen in his life and people are being jerks to him not knowing about it.

I guess the point is that you never know what someone is going through and bullying them may seem minor but that may be the one thing that sends them over the edge.

[Dragonfly]

I was bullied when I was in middle school (1991 - 1995) big time. Half the teachers would just "phone it in" - my fifth grade teacher would teach Geography using amusement park fliers, for example - and the other half would spend most of the time trying to understand my tormentor's "feelings." Because of this, pubescent anarchy ran wild. In all fairness, I wasn't a "normal kid." I didn't like top 40 radio, thought that MTV was stupid as hell, and had a passion for such "grown up" things as politics and baseball realignment. I was also one of those kids who would rather talk to an adult than talk to kids my age. No one in my class really knew who Dick Gephardt or Admiral Stockdale were. The adults did. Because of this, I was singled out and ostracized. A few examples:

1) I had bad allergies back then. Things like Claritin were almost impossible to get back then, so I was stuck with things like Sudafed. While it cleared up my chest, it made my nose run like crazy. Instead of using tissues, I used a handkerchief. Hey, I'm Italian. Everyone in my extended family outside of my mom used them. Well, the kids in my class didn't like it, so the abuse started. According to them, I used to play with it. That turned into me eating it, which turned to me picking my nose and eating it. It eventually ended up that I was a Nazi. (In their minds, "Nazi" and "snot" rhymed.) The derogatory "nicknames" that came from this were then used for everything - team names, fictional characters, even a computer game. (Remember, this is the early 90's. You had be a computer whiz to pull something like that off.)

2) In the sixth grade, we were given these ancient health textbooks from the fifties for a special unit on the body. In the back of these books were the Bill of Rights. (Again, it was published in the fifties.) Every time I tried to tell an adult, my tormentors would pull out that book and point to the Bill of Rights. I would then get yelled at for violating their right to free speech. This of course, proved that I was a Nazi even more than the "snot" thing did.

3) Thanks to unrelated incident involving toilet paper in the sink, none of the sixth grade boys were allowed to use the bathrooms on their own. Instead, we had to march down the hall in single file two times a day. It was during these "regulated bathroom breaks" that I would get attacked. The bullies would manipulate their place in line in order to be in the restroom at the same time as me. I would usually end those trips with either a sore crotch, a wet crotch, or both. I told the teacher. Nothing happened. I told the principal. Nothing happened. I finally told my father, who immediately called my teacher at home. According to said teacher, it was my fault that I got my ass kicked in the restrooms. If I learned to "act like a normal kid," she claimed, I wouldn't be touched. My father started laughing. "Oh... So you want my son to learn how to get beat better?" While that conversation did allow me to use the can it peace, it made me even more of a Nazi.

4) For reasons unknown to anyone, the "sit down" toilets had no walls or doors. All it had were a few concrete dividers that everyone could see over. Simply put, if you were doing number two, everyone knew it. One time, I was sitting on the can with what could politely be called "the runs." The bell rang, but I couldn't do anything about it. Shortly thereafter, some kid walks in. I had no idea who he was. He asked me my name, and me, being the naive ass I was at the time, gave it to him. He then immediately ran into hall and announced that I was "masturbating in the bathroom." Sure enough, my rep went from "Nazi" to "masturbating Nazi."

Yes, it was brutal, but never once did I contemplate suicide. The simple fact that this girl did leads me to believe that something else was going on. I'm not excusing the bullies in any way, shape, or form. I just want to know the full story.

[hassanchop]

Apr 5, 2010 2:29:51 GMT -5 Kris Kobain said:

We would even have teachers tell the class that it was time we grow up and learn to take care of ourselves.

If only they can learn to take care of THEMSELVES. Sorry but I also hear of stories of teachers who can't even get their act together, and others that lose respect.
And what about that teacher that wrote loser to the kid who got a failing grade, he should grow up.

[joeskvorecky]

they have the nerve to plead not guilty.

[mattperiolat]

news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100406/ap_on_re_us/us_school_bullying

Only three were arraigned today and of the three who pleaded not guilty, two were the guys facing the rape charges. Be interesting to see what goes down with the guys and the six remaining kids.