Why do you think some relationships fail?

[willywonka666]

I wanna start a serious poll here and would love a lot of feedback to understand things.

Why do you think some relationships fail? The biggest reason.

It doesn't have to be your own personal experience.

I'm talking bf/gf, marriage, Whatever. Whether you're 15 or 50.

What, in your opinion is the root of the problem that leads to breakups.

Let's keep it civil, no need to say "Women are crazy" or "Men are pigs"

Your thoughts & feelings?

[Thaal Sinestro]

Lack of communication.

[Orange]

Women are crazy and men are pigs ;D

Seriously though that's a good question, I think sometimes it's that the guy & girl rush into the relationship without really thinking about whether they are right for each other, and it fails. Of course I've never been in a relationship, so that's an outside looking in perspective but that is one thing I think contributes to it.

[Lair of the Shadow MaDaBa]

I've never been in a relationship, but I'm going to throw this into the ring:

Boredom.

Once a partner wants some form of excitement, and they realize that they won't get it with whomever they have now, they'll want to leave.

[Deleted]

Jul 2, 2010 0:52:05 GMT -5 Thaal Sinestro said:

Lack of communication.

So true. When one person doesn't voice their displeasure with something in the relationship, it just grows and grows into a bigger problem. If there was a clear lane of communication with stuff like that, problems would either be addressed early on or there would be none at all.

[Mozenrath]

A lot of reasons. Sometimes you go in with expectations, or the opposite, realize you should of been on the lookout for things. Moving different directions, not on the same channel.

Then there's insecurity, depression, the mind games, all that jazz.

Sometimes you can save it, sometimes you can't and it's time to cut your losses, but I think you are a more complete person than you would be if you were never tested.

[Ultimo Chocula]

For men, it's taking your girl for granted. How many guys do you know who don't put any effort into their relationship then act surprised when their girl leaves? This happens daily. Men need to realize that getting the girl is not the end of the road, it's the beginning. They have to prove they deserve it every single day. Women will only put up with your ass for so long and if you don't keep proving it, they'll move on. It doesn't take a genius to figure this out yet guys will never see it coming.

And on the flip side of the same token, women trying to change their men. A lot of women will change their boyfriends into something that they are not longer attracted to and they will never admit it. If you're attracted to a guy because he's in a band, don't ask him to quit because he's never home on the weekends. If you like a guy because he's dresses like an individual, don't buy polo shirts and Dockers for him. This is why women get bored with their guys, they get turned into generic, vanilla, bland schmucks that are just like every other schmuck on the planet. Ladies, don't neuter your men and act surprised when he's not fun anymore. You're the one who did it to him.

[Allie Kitsune]

Jul 2, 2010 0:57:47 GMT -5 Lair of the Shadow MaDaBa said:

I've never been in a relationship, but I'm going to throw this into the ring:

Boredom.

Once a partner wants some form of excitement, and they realize that they won't get it with whomever they have now, they'll want to leave.

MOSTLY this, but here's something nobody wants to think about, but it plays so much of a bigger role than anybody ever wants to admit.

Money/Finance.

Nobody wants to be stuck with someone who can't hold up the financial end of their life, if at all possible. Now more than ever, in an age of consumerism and self-centrism, people tend to feel "held back" by someone who isn't as financially stable as they are.

It's one of the biggest reasons I can't get anybody interested in me.

[AFN: Judge Shred]

A big one for long term relationships where they live together before being married is both sides will think "once we are married they will change" rather than working out problems before then.

[jamielowndes {N}]

Lack of communication seems to be a big one. Although sometimes one person just tends to blow it off.

One of my friends just broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years.

The reason was that he told her he wasnt in love with her anymore and hadnt been for the last month.

He told her this through Windows Live Messenger. I didnt like him before hearing this.

[Deleted]

I think the biggest underlying problem is that people marry/date the wrong people. A lot of people just don't want to be alone so they'll take anyone who wants them despite the fact that their morals, interests, lifestyles, etc. do not mesh. You don't have to be exact clones of each other, but you do have to be on the same wavelength.

You can also be very different from each other, but only if you both accept the fact that the other will probably NEVER change, not matter how long you are together.

Another problem is that people who are casually dating get pregnant and rush into marriage for the sake of the kids. While this is a very noble intention, it doesn't always work out in the long run. You can still be two good, but separate parents if that's what the situation calls for.

As for why people who should be good matches with each other have problems, I'd have to go with the afforementioned communication issue.

[FrankGotch]

People are inherently flawed, and they will inevitably do things that will piss their partner off. Depending on the size, and frequency of those transgressions one partner may decide that they have had enough. Or one partner may become bored, or disillusioned with the relationship they are in. They may realize that the person that they thought they were dating is not at all like the person they moved in with or married.

The main reason though is that people have choices now. Back in the good ole days it was very important that young people found a partner, and started a family as soon as they could. Having spouse greatly affected overall life style as well. Women couldn't just go out and get a good job, and most single women lived in extreme poverty. A single man without a wife who couldn't afford servants would also struggle greatly maintaining or keeping up a house. People didn't just depend on each other for romance, love like we do now.

That said I greatly prefer our era of individual freedom over the way things used to be.

[darthalexander]

Lack of communication is probably one of the biggest reasons. Instead of saying what you want in the relationship, you stay quiet and when things don't happen the way you want them to it sours everything eventually.

Not being friends with each other is a problem as well. I've seen a lot of couples treat each other terribly for no good reason.

Getting into relationships for the wrong reason - say it's been awhile or it's totally based on lust or something you find "hot". When that sparkle disappears, what's left?

Going out with the wrong person. He/she may be the hottest thing ever, but if they aren't on the same level as you (say maturity-wise, etc) that can ruin it pretty damn quick.

[domrep]

I co-sign with boredom. Once you fall into a habit of predictability, status quo, etc, your relationship is over. If you are too comfortable with your relationship, something's wrong.

[Deleted]

Jul 2, 2010 1:11:08 GMT -5 Ultimo Chocula said:

For men, it's taking your girl for granted. How many guys do you know who don't put any effort into their relationship then act surprised when their girl leaves? This happens daily. Men need to realize that getting the girl is not the end of the road, it's the beginning. They have to prove they deserve it every single day. Women will only put up with your ass for so long and if you don't keep proving it, they'll move on. It doesn't take a genius to figure this out yet guys will never see it coming.

And on the flip side of the same token, women trying to change their men. A lot of women will change their boyfriends into something that they are not longer attracted to and they will never admit it. If you're attracted to a guy because he's in a band, don't ask him to quit because he's never home on the weekends. If you like a guy because he's dresses like an individual, don't buy polo shirts and Dockers for him. This is why women get bored with their guys, they get turned into generic, vanilla, bland schmucks that are just like every other schmuck on the planet. Ladies, don't neuter your men and act surprised when he's not fun anymore. You're the one who did it to him.

Bra-vo! You deserve a golf clap!

[ellisdee]

Jul 2, 2010 7:28:30 GMT -5 darthalexander said:

Not being friends with each other is a problem as well. I've seen a lot of couples treat each other terribly for no good reason.

This is spot on. I was with my ex gf for about a year or so and we lived together. She drove me insane and by the end i couldn't stand the sight of her. We never spoke about anything besides money arguments. I had spent 5 years in a band and was happy, it was what i wanted to do in life. She made me quit and my life became sitting at home with her, not talking.

My current gf is also my best friend and it's the best relationship i've ever had. We actually have fun together and everything isn't always a huge task. When the rat race and crap of life does get to me, she still makes me smile and is there for me, and i know she will be, i know i can talk to her.

Jul 2, 2010 7:28:30 GMT -5 darthalexander said:

Going out with the wrong person. He/she may be the hottest thing ever, but if they aren't on the same level as you (say maturity-wise, etc) that can ruin it pretty damn quick.

This is also spot on. A few years back, i started dating the hottest girl EVAAAHH! Seriously. She was stunning. Really long, dyed dark red hair, perfect skin, great figure, beautiful. All my friends said she was the hottest girl i'd ever gone out with. We would go out to metal bars and all the guys would look at me in that "nice one", kind of way. The problem was, she drove me mad!! I had this running joke with my friend that she was Janice and i was Chandler from Friends. I dumped and got back with her so many times because i would run in to her and remeber how stunning she was and then after a while remember how annoying i found her. Finally i realised that it didn't matter how hot she was, i couldn't stand being around her.

[AFN: Judge Shred]

Another big thing is that people don't date around anymore. They go out with a person once, and they are a couple. Cutting down the dating pool and also possibly missing a better match.

Then many couples stay in relationships because it is comfortable and being alone terrifies them. So while they get along with their partner, they may not be in love.

[hassanchop]

Here's another factor I believe is the problem, lust.

Some people just go with another just because they wanna get some, and he/she is sexy to that person, and the only reason they want to get with him/her is to get in their pants and that's it. When he/she is done with that person they look for someone else.

[mattperiolat]

I'll vote for communication too. You just... take things for granted. And in some cases, especially if it's your first real time out, you're still stuck in a singles mindset and it takes work to adapt. Some people never do.

[Munkie91087]

This is my answer. This is legitimately one of the best descriptions of why relationships fail I have ever heard.