Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2011 21:46:21 GMT -5
...Bronco Lubich, your referee for the tag team match that never happened is irate at Danny Davis for stealing his thunder. But nobody really cares. Bronco seems interested in ref'ing this match, but Cyber-Tazz and Robotic Gordon Solie climb the tight rope and suplex Tenay and West to the ring below. Chico Pantalones is at ring side selling his blue jeans to some fans, and Angelina Love is making out with the apple fritter, who does nothing because it's just an ordinary apple fritter. Eric Bischoff comes out to ringside dressed as Brother Love with Stevie Ray who is dressed as Dude Love. They announce that this is officially a love-in, which means...
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bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,464
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Post by bob on Mar 7, 2011 22:20:51 GMT -5
the winner must make love to the ref and the ref is zombie Yokozuna!
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Post by DSR on Mar 7, 2011 23:54:22 GMT -5
the winner must make love to the ref and the ref is zombie Yokozuna! But then, in a shocking swerve, zombie Yokozuna declares himself the winner, and begins "loving" himself in the middle of the ring! When Mr. Fuji shows up, the audience begs him to throw salt in their eyes! Just then, Cody Rhodes shows up and says "Didn't the audience explode a few minutes ago?" *commercial break* When we come back from the commercial break...
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edgedge
Team Rocket
asdf
Posts: 943
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Post by edgedge on Mar 8, 2011 0:21:57 GMT -5
...we immediately go to another commercial break.
*commercial break*
We come back to see the ring has been cleared for our next match. Sabu comes out with Bill Alfonso, duct tape, krazy glue and an already broken table. His opponent is Tully Blanchard. The bell rings, and Sabu runs outside of the ring and out into the parking lot. He gets in a limo and drives away. Blanchard stands around, confused. Suddenly, the radioactive bunny rabbits who kidnapped Robbie E earlier come back and attempt to kidnap Tully, who beats them down with a steel chair.
Radioactive Robbie The Rabbit E comes out and is immediately run over by an 18 wheeler. String attacks the 18 wheeler and gives it the Skropian Deef Drawp. Anonymous RAW General Manager Dusty Rhodes Energy Ball announces that from now on, the letter "c" will be replaced with the letter "k". This brings out Kody Rhodes, who demands a khampionship title matkh.
Instead, he gets a kardboard box filled with butter. John Kena komes out in a weenie outfit and says, "WILL YOU WEENIE ME." in a kompletely serious tone. Kody Rhodes grabs a mirror and jumps inside of it. Hardkore Holly runs out and attakks John Kena with a twinkie and demands that, "somebody kome out here and TAKE MY DAMN PANTS OFF RIGHT NOW." Out komes...
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Post by HMARK Center on Mar 8, 2011 0:23:13 GMT -5
And find that the audience is fine, but Cody Rhodes has exploded.
Eric Bischoff, wearing a Shrek costume lifted from Universal Studios, informs the crowd that the pressures of running TNA have driven him over the edge, forcing him to name an acting authority figure in his stead. He introduces NEW TNA authority, Sean Mooney!
Mooney's first act is to declare a Tag Title match between Beer Money and the Fabulous Rougeaus, and his second act is to begin hosting segments of the "TNA Event Center", which doubles as a PPV countdown show co-starring Gene Okerlund, Todd Pettingill, Craig DeGeorge, Don West, Gary Michael Cappetta, Johnny Polo, and, inexplicably, Terry Gordy.
His third act...
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Post by DSR on Mar 8, 2011 1:18:46 GMT -5
And find that the audience is fine, but Cody Rhodes has exploded. Eric Bischoff, wearing a Shrek costume lifted from Universal Studios, informs the crowd that the pressures of running TNA have driven him over the edge, forcing him to name an acting authority figure in his stead. He introduces NEW TNA authority, Sean Mooney! Mooney's first act is to declare a Tag Title match between Beer Money and the Fabulous Rougeaus, and his second act is to begin hosting segments of the "TNA Event Center", which doubles as a PPV countdown show co-starring Gene Okerlund, Todd Pettingill, Craig DeGeorge, Don West, Gary Michael Cappetta, Johnny Polo, and, inexplicably, Terry Gordy. His third act... ...is to enjoy all the cheers of the fans, because the TNA Event Center is the greatest show ever! So Vince Russo cancels it 5 seconds in, and replaces it with Ted Dibiase Jr.'s 2 hour long standup comedy special. Dibiase's opening bit: "What's the deal with socks? I mean, ya put 'em on, and uh... then what?" TNA fans are more than happy they missed the overrun when they DVR'd this show. THE FOLLOWING WEEK, Impact opens with Unified WCW/TNA/WWE/NWA/ECW/ROH World Heavyweight Champion Kennedy. Not Vincent Kennedy McMahon, not "Mr. Kennedy" Ken Anderson, mid-90s MTV VJ Kennedy. She gets a microphone and says...
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bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,464
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Post by bob on Mar 8, 2011 8:31:04 GMT -5
"I'm not wearing a thong, but I do smell like one."
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edgedge
Team Rocket
asdf
Posts: 943
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Post by edgedge on Mar 8, 2011 23:28:01 GMT -5
Kennedy is forked into a matkh against Jim Ross. The bell rings, JR konsumes Kennedy, then konsumes himself, then pulls out a mouse and begins playing with it, skreaming "WHY DID THEY TAKE THEM AWAY FROM ME?!" Mikhael Kole komes out, then leaves, then komes bakk out, then leaves again, then Anonymous RAW General Manager Dusty Rhodes Energy Ball khanges the rules, allowing the letter "c" to come back into existence.
Michael Cole pins Mike Tenay for the TNA Title, then gets in a limo and drives around in circles in the ring, singing, "WU-TANG CLAN AIN'T NUTTIN' TA F*** WIT." Suddenly, 5 ninjas jump out the trunk of the limo. Cole steps out and makes an open challenge for anyone to go one-on-five against the "Cole Clan". The challenge is accepted by none other than...
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Post by DSR on Mar 8, 2011 23:48:30 GMT -5
Kennedy is forked into a matkh against Jim Ross. The bell rings, JR konsumes Kennedy, then konsumes himself, then pulls out a mouse and begins playing with it, skreaming "WHY DID THEY TAKE THEM AWAY FROM ME?!" Mikhael Kole komes out, then leaves, then komes bakk out, then leaves again, then Anonymous RAW General Manager Dusty Rhodes Energy Ball khanges the rules, allowing the letter "c" to come back into existence. Michael Cole pins Mike Tenay for the TNA Title, then gets in a limo and drives around in circles in the ring, singing, "WU-TANG CLAN AIN'T NUTTIN' TA F*** WIT." Suddenly, 5 ninjas jump out the trunk of the limo. Cole steps out and makes an open challenge for anyone to go one-on-five against the "Cole Clan". The challenge is accepted by none other than... STEVE MONGO MCMICHAEL, who charges the ring while the theme from the X-Men cartoon from the 90s blares throughout the IMPACT ZONE! The crowd goes wild as Mongo destroys the Cole Clan! But because the Anonymous Raw General Manager Dusty Rhodes Energy Ball has declared that the crowd is not allowed to go wild for anything, immediately cuts out the music, fires Mongo, and let's Cole go on an INCREDIBLY obnoxious rant for the next 90 minutes about...
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bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,464
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Post by bob on Mar 9, 2011 0:19:29 GMT -5
dehydrated fruit.
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Post by yapappi4life on Mar 9, 2011 0:30:12 GMT -5
Just then, ZOMBIE CHRIS BENOIT makes his shocking return to reveal that he did it all for The Rock...and the TV Title. He's handed over the TV title which he now demands to defend...in hangman death matches where choking is not only aencouraged...it's ALLOWED!
BENOIT then eats Bischoof's brains graphically before delivering a flying headbutt from the top of a steel cage to a chair-clad ringside table for no reason as Pope penetrates Winter's moist vagina explicitly. Meanwhile, Charlie Sheen takes a massive dump inside the ring while talking to the Shockmaster as SAGGS and KNOBBS make out passionately at ringside.
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bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,464
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Post by bob on Mar 9, 2011 0:44:31 GMT -5
Sheen explains to Shockmaster how dropping a deuce in the ring is winning.
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Post by DSR on Mar 9, 2011 0:46:12 GMT -5
Sheen explains to Shockmaster how dropping a deuce in the ring is winning. Shockmaster's helmet falls off while he s***s on Tazz's spaghetti dinner.
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Post by yapappi4life on Mar 9, 2011 0:56:51 GMT -5
Charlie SHeen unveils his mentor to be......JAKE ROBERTS who flashes his penis about 37 times in a row.
Meanwhile, ZOMBIE CHRIS BENOIT is ripping off heads of the audience and eating their brains as now ZOMBIE ERIC BISCHOFF announces a match: Disco Inferno vs Urkel in a ballerina match.
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Post by yapappi4life on Mar 9, 2011 1:10:34 GMT -5
Soon after that, we are treated for a match for the ages. A Last Man Standing match between Sick Boy and Jerry Flynn that ends in a double DQ.Somehow, Homicide can't get of the ring correctly.
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Post by DSR on Mar 9, 2011 2:37:04 GMT -5
When Homicide finally does make it out of the ring, he takes a microphone and announces he's a NAZI! He goose steps around the ring for several minutes, proclaiming his dislike for all electronics (apparently, Homicide isn't too big on research, as he's somehow mixed Nazis with the Amish).
ANYWAY, Homicide then raises a barn in the middle of the ring, then says he has to go churn butter backstage.
Anonymous Raw General Manager Dusty Rhodes Energy Ball then proclaims that Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, Kaval, CM Punk, and Curry Man must have an hour long Iron Man match in the ring right now!
The match happens, but it happens inside that barn Homicide raised, so nobody can see it.
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bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,464
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Post by bob on Mar 9, 2011 13:56:53 GMT -5
Kane comes out and sets fire to Homicides barn. The result is that all the competitors inside of it were burned alive.
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Tiger Maskooo
Samurai Cop
I cant hear you over the sound of how much im tiger masking
Posts: 2,384
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Post by Tiger Maskooo on Mar 9, 2011 14:00:36 GMT -5
Kane comes out and sets fire to Homicides barn. The result is that all the competitors inside of it were burned alive. Except for matt hardy who WILL NOT DIE. Until an atomic bomb with a strapped on yoshi tatsu rides to him screaming "MATT HARDLY. YOU f***ED WITH THE WRONG YOSHI. I'M SENDING YOU TO THE HOSPITAR!"
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Post by yapappi4life on Mar 9, 2011 14:11:17 GMT -5
Suddenly, ZOMBIE CHris Benoit gets his head decapitated by the homeless SONJAY DUTT WITH A MOUNTAIN BEARD WITH A SHOTGUN. He immediately challenges him to a CASKET MATCH ON A POLE MATCH (not a typo). HE SEEMS PISSED THAT ZOMBIE CHRIS IS NOT RESPONDING.
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bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,464
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Post by bob on Mar 9, 2011 15:44:33 GMT -5
The Boogie Knights come out to the ring and start dancing for no apparent reason.
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