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Post by General Adam on Aug 8, 2011 21:03:45 GMT -5
Did he go there??? ..... ..... ..... ..... Yes he did......*sigh* Obviously not as much as you loving those penis pumps. OCC: Dear God in heaven what have I done?
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Post by General Adam on Aug 8, 2011 21:25:16 GMT -5
Well....at least I know who bought the DVD.
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Aug 8, 2011 22:14:25 GMT -5
We cut to a dark dirty ally in the Southside of Chicago. We see a hairy,dirty strange looking man sitting next to a dumpster with a bottle of old whisky. You know......it's funny. that as a society we tend to build up our heroes. We tend to build up larger than life people who do amazing things. But not for finding the cure for cancer or saving a drowning little girl from a river....BUT FOR BEATING PEOPLE UP IN A WRESTLING RING!!!!!! It's a twisted society....don't ya think?
But you know what's even more twisted....those same people....The same people who buy your t shirts....beg for your autograph and chant you name.......WILL FORGET ABOUT YOU IN A SECOND AND WON'T PISS ON YOU IF YOU WERE ON FIRE!!!! THEY DON'T CARE AS LONG AS YOU BLEED AND DIE FOR THEM!!!!! As long as I DIE FOR THEM!!!
I was once....one of the hottest young stars in the WWCF. He takes a sip and giggles Heh....I was rising to the top as the old cliche says. I beat stars,superstars...LEGENDS!!! GODDAMN LEGENDS!!! You see, about a year and a half ago....I entered the WWCF. And ever since I was there I was the most feared...most violent...MOST BLOOD THIRSTY BASTERD IN THE WWCF!!!! I beat, a man whose currently a champion right now....Boiler Room Brawler. I BEAT HIM FOR THE WWCF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP IN THE MOST BRUTAL MATCH WE COULD PUT ON!!!! Boiler Room Brawler.....we actually became friends if you can believe that.....the only friend I ever had. He was the only one who say that I had actual talent to be the best. NO ONE ELSE DID BUT HIM!!!! I held that championship for almost 6 months.. 6 MONTHS!!! I WAS THE GREATEST HARDCORE WRESTLER TO EVER SET FOOT IN THE WWCF!!!! Until......until.......
He takes another drink of whiskey Until...."Personal Issues" as some would call it, came up. You see....I'm a drug addict and an alcoholic....not something that I'd be proud of. You see my Father was an alcoholic...so was my Mother. I vowed when I was a little kid, that I wasn't gonna be like them....THAT I'D ACTUALLY WOULD BE STRONGER THAN ANY OF THEM!!!!! Now it's ironic.....I actually did the Ol'Man one better....I became addicted to Cocaine, Ecstasy....Heroin. You see before I got to the WWCF I never had what you would call much of a social life. Being a total outcast to the outside world will do that to a man.
But when I got to the WWCF, and when I became a "star"..... I was exposed to a new world.....something that was totally new to me. Fame....I never once thought I would ever experience fame. And then when I won the Hardcore Championship...then I all the s*** hit the fan and I was bombarded with people who I thought were my friends....THEY ALL TURNED OUT TO BE LEECHES!!! I BECAME EVERYTHING THAT I HATED ABOUT THIS WORLD AND MORE!!!!!He starts to cry just a little bit And then....I couldn't take it anymore and I had to get out. I thought maybe getting out of the WWCF I would turn my life around....but it only got worse. I started sinking into depression....I NEEDED COCAINE TO SURVIVE....I BECAME WEAK!!!!! I BECAME HELPLESS...I BECAME.......pathetic. I had become.....forgotten. No body remembered who I was. I was dead.....I was dead to the whole world. And Boiler Room Brawler....HE DOESN'T NOW I EXIST ANYMORE...HE'S FORGOTTEN ME!!!! And you know what...I DESERVED TO BE FORGOTTEN....I DESERVED TO BE F***ING DEAD!!!!He smashes the whiskey bottle on the ground However.....I was in a bar a few weeks ago. Monday Nitraw was TV. I watched the entire show.....I hadn't watched it in months...not since I left. I saw too things that made an affect on me. One....I saw my former friend...Boiler Room Brawler holding up the WWCF World Tag Team Championship.....with another damn partner. That struck me...because I thought to myself...."That should be me with BRB" We should have been the greatest tag team of all time. I should be one half of the World Tag Team Champions...RIGHT NOW!!! That made me think real hard about my life. But what hurt me even more...was the man who know holds the WWCF Hardcore Title....The General of The Monkey Army....holding MY BELT!!! The belt I went through two flaming tables against Amigo to get. And he has it. And everyone in the world is now saying that HE NOT I....is the greatest Hardcore Champion of all time. Well that made me mad as hell as you could imagine. I stormed out of that bar that night and I made a vow to myself.....that I would stop taking whatever is was that I was taking.....and start thinking....about coming back.
He stands up from the ground and gives a sick twisted smile..... So I'm here talking to you right now and I'm letting all the fans know...and I'm letting all the WWCF superstars know......
THAT SMOKIN VOKOUN IS COMING BACK TO THE WWCF!!!!!!! [/b][/size] So all of you WWCF Superstars....YOU ALL BETTER BE PAYING ATTENTION.....Whitey Fats...Sparks....Evil M....World Champion COLT.....Boiler Room Brawler....my "old friend"...and of course YOU GENERAL OF THE MONKEY ARMY!!! YOU ALL BETTER WATCH YOUR GOD DAMN BACKS BECAUSE THE ENTIRE WWCF AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.......your all on notice....AND ON MY HIT LIST!!!!!!!![/color][/b] He screams at the top of his lungs and laughs in his old crazy way.......
And...before you all ask that same question....Smokin Vokoun.....ISN'T JOKIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[/b][/color] Fade to black[/quote] Lights cigarette.You call yourself an addict? You're just a quitter. A poor excuse for a man. Still, it's your loss. You'll never get to transcend this life and unlock your true potential. Where as I'll continue to bloom and become something you can only dream of being. And in a few years, when you've ran out of empty promises, when you've lost everything and you're sitting back in the bar, sipping your poison, you'll ask yourself "what was I thinking?" The simple answer is: you weren't.[/quote] Two things "my Liege ": Firstly....while I'm pleased as Rum we won, but you EVER try to make a name for ye self at my expense again...I'll gut ye like a mackerel and let Miss....Lanore was it? Pick up yer carcass. Secondly, Vokoun is many things, the most of which is one of the if not THE toughest S.O.B that has come through the WWCF. He's beaten ME from pillar to post , he's no quitter, he's taken Tumbleweeds, Double Bass DDTs, and even A few Final Thoughts. Mountain King we may be tagging, but we're not partners. I see that now. I'm not sure the "method" you seek is something I can help with.
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