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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2011 16:37:03 GMT -5
...So Brian Kendrick is doing outdated Youtube memes now?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2011 16:38:31 GMT -5
...So Brian Kendrick is doing outdated Youtube memes now? Think a hybrid of Jackass and Bill Nye the Science Guy. |
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Jun 13, 2011 16:39:00 GMT -5
JB: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Venice Beach, California, weighing 184 pounds, Brian Kendrick!
JB: And his opponent, from Anahiem, California, weighing 215 pounds, Kazarian!
Tenay: Well we haven't seen these guys for a few weeks.
West: Well we just saw Kendrick a few minutes ago doing some extreme stunts.
Tenay: Yeah, don't try that at home, kids.
Brian Kendrick v Kazarian
3 votes
10 minutes
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2011 16:40:01 GMT -5
Kendrick throws a cherry bomb at Kaz!
He then turns to the crowd and reminds them not to try that at home.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2011 16:40:28 GMT -5
Kendrick with a dropkick.
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Post by Yamashita Enforcement Division on Jun 13, 2011 16:40:57 GMT -5
Kendrick creates homemade thermite, lighting Kendrick on fire.
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Jonathan Michaels
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
The Archduke of Levity
Here since TNA was still kinda okay
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Post by Jonathan Michaels on Jun 13, 2011 16:41:58 GMT -5
BK with a DDT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2011 16:45:59 GMT -5
Kendrick creates homemade thermite, lighting Kendrick on fire. Kendrick lit himself on fire? But he's not a bumbling scientific stunt man... |
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Jun 13, 2011 16:46:59 GMT -5
Kazarian takes Kendrick down with leg lariat, then heads out to the apron. Kaz springboard back in right into a superkick from Kendrick!
1...
2...
3!
JB: Here is your winner, Brian Kendrick!
Tenay: Well Kendrick surprises Kaz with that superkick out of nowhere to get the victory.
West: Well that was extreme. I wonder if we'll get more extreme tsunts from Kendrick next week?
Tenay: It was mentos and a Cola bottle. Calm down, Don.
Hey its Jeremy Borash, here with one of the competitors going after Mr. Anderson’s Legends Championship: Eric Young.
Eric, it’s been a long time since we last saw you. How would it feel to come back and immediately win Anderson’s title?
Obviously it would feel great to take that belt away from Anderson. The Chosen are gone, and it’s time for a change! Anderson, when you agreed to this match, you wrote me off as a joke, but let me assure you, the days when Eric Young is the "human punchline" are OVER! You are overconfident, and for that you'll pay.
But, just for a second, I'd like to talk about something else. I want to apologize to all the EY fans here tonight, and around the world. I’ve been gone for a long time, basically turning my back on all my supporters. I've made you all look like fools for believing in me. I abandoned you guys. But now I’m back, and I’m not going anywhere! Tonight I make to you all three proclamations!
One. I will never leave again! I now realize Impact is, and forever will be, my home.
Two. I will turn my career around! I will not be the laughingstock of TNA any longer!
And Three. I will make the EY fans proud to say they have supported me through the thick and thin!
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Jun 13, 2011 16:48:34 GMT -5
I forgot to mention it before since I just noticed but, new guy, Brooke is the interviewer. JB is the ring announcer.
Also Young has been serious for a while now.
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Jonathan Michaels
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
The Archduke of Levity
Here since TNA was still kinda okay
Posts: 18,183
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Post by Jonathan Michaels on Jun 13, 2011 16:50:24 GMT -5
When did Anderson call EY a joke?
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Jun 13, 2011 16:50:33 GMT -5
Daffney is backstage crying in the dark.
It's not fair. It just not fair.
Daffney produces the blonde ragdoll.
Well say something! Tell me something that will make me feel better!
The rag doll says nothing.
Ugh. You're useless.
Daffney tosses the rag doll across the room.
Daffney!
Daffney looks curiously at the doll.
Tay?
Over here.
Daffney turns to see Taylor standing across the room.
TAYLOR!
Daffney crawls over and hugs Taylor round the waist.
I'm so glad you're here. They took my title.
Taylor strokes Daffney's hair.
You want to go punish Brooke? Will that make you feel better?
I dunno. I don't think that'll help.
Wow, this is serious.
Taylor gets on her knees at Daffney's level.
It'll be okay.
It won't be okay. This is how it always starts. I lose the most important thing in my life then I lose everything else. I mean it's not fair. First I lose my title, then I'll lose you and...
Hey, hey. I'm not going anywhere.
You promise?
Yes, I promise.
Thnak you. I dunno what I'd do without you.
You'll never have to find out now, will you? Now listen to me. The first thing we are going to do is get your title back. Well actually we'll make that the second thing.
Then what's the first thing?
No, the first thing we are gonna do is make you feel better.
Oh goodie!
Daffney claps her hands her hands in excitment as the shot fades out.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Jun 13, 2011 16:53:53 GMT -5
JB: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. First, from Brooklyn, New York, weighing 150 pounds, Red!
JB: And his opponent, from Battle Creek, Michgan, weighing 237 pounds, Rob Van Dam!
Tenay: At Slammiversary, Red lost the X Division title to Jeff Hardy.
West: And so he wants so he wants revenge on Hardy's partner RVD.
Tenay: But at the same time RVD wants to keep momentum going for when he cashes in that case.
Rob Van Dam v Red
3 votes
10 minutes
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Post by Yamashita Enforcement Division on Jun 13, 2011 16:54:30 GMT -5
RVD with a Feast or Fired case shot.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2011 16:55:48 GMT -5
RVD with Rolling Thunder!
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Post by The Tank on Jun 13, 2011 16:55:52 GMT -5
RVD with a series of kicks.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2011 16:57:01 GMT -5
RVD with a missile dropkick.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Jun 13, 2011 17:01:56 GMT -5
Red hits Van Dam with a couple of kicks then comes off the ropes right into a spin kick from RVD. Van Dam slams Red and jumps to the top rope. Five Star Frogsplash!
1...
2...
3!
JB: Here is your winner, Rob Van Dam!
Tenay: Van Dam gets the victory and he continues to build momentum toward his eventual World title shot.
West: Well we are gonna find out Magnus' challenger next week. It could be RVD.
Tenay: Well that's up to Van Dam don't you think?
We go to the back with Matt Hardy wandering backstage. He seems to be looking to someone. Matt turns a corner and grins, calling out to Jeff Hardy.
"Hey, Jeff!"[/color]
Matt! Long time no see bro. How's it going?
"Pretty good. Preaching the word of Mattitude, and angling to win myself a Legends Championship. By the way, congratulations on the Slammiversary win, Mr. X-Division Champion."[/color]
Very much appriciated. Took a long time and feels fantastic to finally get a hold of it. Now if you can win the Legends Champion and Van Dam cashes in his briefcase soonish, things should be pretty sweet around here. You sure you can handle the fatal four way?
Matt nods.
"Yeah. Mercer, EY and Anderson are all tough opponents, but I think I can beat 'em. Can't be any harder than taking out Team 3D in that Tables match back in 2000. Remember those days, Jeff?"[/color]
How could I forget? Still feeling the effects of all those swantons even now. Just don't underestimate any of them. We may both have our fair share of experience but those other three have their whole careers ahead of them. Taking out a Hardy is a pretty good way to make your name heard.
"Yeah...Mercer and Anderson are pretty cutthroat, and they'll do anything to get ahead. I'm gonna have to dig deep into the bag of tricks to fend them off. And that's not counting Eric. He was damn near World Champion once, and he could be a huge threat. Man, this is gonna be a tough one. Only saving grace is that Anderson doesn't have the Chosen backing him up anymore."[/color]
Matt cracks his neck, grinning to himself.
"I've got them all beat, though. I know I'm faster than Eric, tougher than Mercer, and more cunning than Anderson. That Legends Championship is coming to the only man in that rightly can be called a legend...MMMMMMIIIIIISTEEEEEEEER...HAAAAAARDY!"
Matt pauses, dramatically looking around.
"...Haaaaardy. See you around, Jeff. Tell Rob I said good luck. Gotta go throw a twist into everyone's plans."[/color]
Matt walks off with a grin on his face, leaving a very confused Jeff in his wake.
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Jun 13, 2011 17:07:04 GMT -5
Lisa Marie Varon is sitting by herself at a table in an empty theater, "theater" in this case of the stageplay variety. She's swirling a straw absent-mindedly around an empty glass when Doug Williams and Rob Terry walk in. Doug speaks first: Hullo, is this the location of the Impact Players Playhouse?LMV is jolted back awake. Uh, oh, uh, yeah, it is. Sorry if I don't have everything here. Long day. I left the scripts at home. So sorry.Meh, don't worry about it. Doug and I can do without that for now.So, what kinds of plays do you run here?Mostly modern stuff.Oh. Well, we're a bit more used to Shakespeare, but we can manage.Alex Shelley wanders into the scene. Hey, fellas, what's goin' on?Nothing much. Just trying to get Williams and Terry started with the Impact Players.Want in?Nah, think I'll pass.You sure? We could always use new talent.Pass.Chris Sabin walks in. Alex and I are a bit more interested in being the greatest tag team that TNA has ever had. So you'll have to forgive us if we don't share your Broadway-based interests.As if we don't want to be the top team in this company, too? Better watch yourself, Sabin, because the New British Invasion is more than capable of dealing with a couple of Motor City Machine Guns any day of the week.HEH?Scott Steiner bursts in. What the hell??? This isn't the Impact Players! This is the tryouts for some "Glee" ripoff!!!!Uh, actually, Scott, this IS the Impact Players. It's our little theater group.NO, see, when I heard the words "Impact Players," I was of the impression that you meant top competitors and FIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNE physical specimens like me. I didn't think you had in mind a bunch of people to stand around and say "To be or not to be" for half the day.Now, just hold on a minute-See, the Motor City Machine Guns, now THEY'VE got the right idea. Cuz they don't wanna go around wearing weird pants and yelling "Alas, poor Toothpick-"It's "Alas, poor Yarrick-"WHO CARES?! My point is, you and Lisa REALLY want to call yourselves "Impact Players" Go in the ring and PROVE it!Lisa Marie shoots out of her chair and gets in Steiner's face: You know, maybe I wouldn't be so offended if you would actually live by your own words-I KNOW I can. And against Tommy Dreamer, I'm going to prove it. You two-Steiner points to Williams and Terry. Don't you two DARE overlook your opponents.
You guys want to make a REAL impact? Focus a bit more on your suplexes and a lot less on your scripts. That's what the Machine Guns are doing, and that's what I'm doing, because my freaks expect no less, because they know that Big Poppa Pump is your hookup,
HOLLA
IF YA HEAR ME!!!!!!!Steiner walks off. Lisa Marie is steaming, as are the New British Invasion. Sabin just shrugs. Hey, Alex and I had wanted a match. Maybe next week.... |
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Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Jun 13, 2011 17:09:03 GMT -5
You know I should have mentioned the brief thing between Tara and Shelley. I forgot that.
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Go in the ring and PROVE it!