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Post by DSR on Jul 14, 2012 3:31:53 GMT -5
Yeah, I'm triple-posting, deal with it. FRIGHT (1971) - British Lion Film Corporation presents this flick, written by Tudor Gates (who wrote the lesbian vampire classic THE VAMPIRE LOVERS), directed by Peter Collinson (who directed THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE and the original THE ITALIAN JOB). Susan George plays Amanda, a pretty college student who has been sent to babysit a young boy named Tara (played by Tara Collinson, the director's son). Tara's mother, Helen Lloyd (Honor Blackman, most famous for playing Pussy Galore in GOLDFINGER) is off to celebrate some sort of anniversary. The first half of the film is an exercise in mood and atmosphere, as Amanda is subjected to a number of false scares: creaking doors, tree branches brushing up against things, an incredibly loud telephone, and a horny boyfriend snooping around. Through the boyfriend, Chris (played by Dennis Waterman), we learn a bit of backstory about Helen Lloyd. It seems her husband went crazy and tried to kill her and their child. Helen ultimately divorced the man, he was sent to an insane asylum, and Helen is currently celebrating her divorce from the man with her new beau. You can probably guess what's coming: Chris wasn't the only man snooping around the creepy old mansion. Helen's ex-husband, Brian, has broken out of that asylum, and he's got his heart set on reclaiming his family...or, failing that, killing them and the poor babysitter caught up in this mess... As mentioned, the first half of the film is brimming with atmosphere. This is aided by the beautiful and haunting music of Harry Robinson, who also worked on THE VAMPIRE LOVERS, THE OBLONG BOX, and other films. It also helps that we as the audience come into the story with no prior knowledge, and learn things as Amanda does. The second half of the film is much less enjoyable, as we finally "meet" Brian and things rapidly get melodramatic in a corny way. The character of Brian just doesn't click in a menacing way. That may be the point, that people that aren't obviously menacing can be even more dangerous than those that are, but all the momentum built up in the first half of the flick just dissipates when we meet this doughy sort-of man-child. Susan George does a good job as the imperiled babysitter though, and she's easy on the eyes. But, overall, I don't think the flick is required viewing. 2.5 stars out of 5. Though you should check out the opening theme song to the flick, it's really good: www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9c-PhIeQB0
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Post by GuyOfOwnage on Jul 14, 2012 15:41:35 GMT -5
It's after midnight, so Happy Friday the 13th, everyone! I hope you all get to sit down at some point today and pay tribute to your favorite hockey masked killer by watching your favorite entry in the legendary horror franchise. As I always do, starting at 8PM EST, I will be present in the Camp Blood chat room ( www.campblood.net/forum/chat/flashchat.php) to take part in a Friday the 13th marathon. Twice before, I have done the unthinkable and stayed for ALL 12 films in succession. Will I capture the Friday the 13th Marathon Heavyweight Championship for an unprecedented third time? Stop by the Camp Blood chat room tonight at 8PM EST (5PM PST) and find out...if you dare. Just quoting myself here to make this easy. Yes folks, if I'm posting here, then it means that I done it again. From 8PM Friday night to 4:10PM Saturday afternoon, all 12 Friday the 13th films were viewed in succession, by me. Out of the 30 or so viewers who started out, only one other person besides me made it to the end. No caffeine or energy shots were to be had, as I run on 100% pure unledded ownage. Now, I'm feeling very sleep deprived and disoriented, so I think I'll stand up out of my chair and do a Ric Flair-style face plant onto the nearest piece of furniture. Oh, and I'd be remiss not to mention MysteryStingerfanTheater3000, who ALMOST made it, but crashed halfway through Freddy vs. Jason. Better luck next time, Stinger!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2012 16:28:13 GMT -5
God damn man, congrats!
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Post by MysteryStingerfanTheater3000 on Jul 15, 2012 5:36:14 GMT -5
I would of stayed, but ending up with a bad case of food poisoning around FvJ, maybe next time!
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Jul 15, 2012 12:52:48 GMT -5
Yeah, I'm triple-posting, deal with it. FRIGHT (1971) - British Lion Film Corporation presents this flick, written by Tudor Gates (who wrote the lesbian vampire classic THE VAMPIRE LOVERS), directed by Peter Collinson (who directed THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE and the original THE ITALIAN JOB). Susan George plays Amanda, a pretty college student who has been sent to babysit a young boy named Tara (played by Tara Collinson, the director's son). Tara's mother, Helen Lloyd (Honor Blackman, most famous for playing Pussy Galore in GOLDFINGER) is off to celebrate some sort of anniversary. The first half of the film is an exercise in mood and atmosphere, as Amanda is subjected to a number of false scares: creaking doors, tree branches brushing up against things, an incredibly loud telephone, and a horny boyfriend snooping around. Through the boyfriend, Chris (played by Dennis Waterman), we learn a bit of backstory about Helen Lloyd. It seems her husband went crazy and tried to kill her and their child. Helen ultimately divorced the man, he was sent to an insane asylum, and Helen is currently celebrating her divorce from the man with her new beau. You can probably guess what's coming: Chris wasn't the only man snooping around the creepy old mansion. Helen's ex-husband, Brian, has broken out of that asylum, and he's got his heart set on reclaiming his family...or, failing that, killing them and the poor babysitter caught up in this mess... As mentioned, the first half of the film is brimming with atmosphere. This is aided by the beautiful and haunting music of Harry Robinson, who also worked on THE VAMPIRE LOVERS, THE OBLONG BOX, and other films. It also helps that we as the audience come into the story with no prior knowledge, and learn things as Amanda does. The second half of the film is much less enjoyable, as we finally "meet" Brian and things rapidly get melodramatic in a corny way. The character of Brian just doesn't click in a menacing way. That may be the point, that people that aren't obviously menacing can be even more dangerous than those that are, but all the momentum built up in the first half of the flick just dissipates when we meet this doughy sort-of man-child. Susan George does a good job as the imperiled babysitter though, and she's easy on the eyes. But, overall, I don't think the flick is required viewing. 2.5 stars out of 5. Though you should check out the opening theme song to the flick, it's really good: www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9c-PhIeQB0It's good to see your reviews make a comeback, DSR. I always find out a lot of things about movies that, in most cases, I've only heard of in passing, this one included. Kudos.
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Post by DSR on Jul 15, 2012 13:49:15 GMT -5
Thanks. It's good to be back. THE HOUSE THAT SCREAMED (1969) - A Spanish horror-thriller, directed by Narciso Ibáñez Serrador (whom I've never heard of before, but he also directed a flick called WHO CAN KILL A CHILD?). It's sometime in the late 19th century. Cristina Galbó (who was also in LET SLEEPING CORPSES LIE) plays Teresa, the newest arrival at a finishing school for troubled girls. The school is run with an iron fist by Madame Fourneau (Lilli Palmer). Girls who act out of line are often stripped down and whipped, usually by Fourneau's "teacher's pet" Irene (the show-stealing Mary Maude). Irene, being Fourneau's most trusted student, has access to keys and record books and other things, so she has enough authority to make life hell for any girls that don't comply with her demands. Fourneau also has a son, Luis, whom she attempts to keep locked away for supposed health reasons (she claims he's asthmatic, but he never shows any signs). Mostly the lady just wants to keep her son away from these "awful" girls, because he deserves a girl "just like his mother." Luis doesn't make things easy on his mother, though, as he's constantly sneaking around and peeping on the girls (especially in the shower). With the occasionally prison-like conditions at this school, and a generally spooky vibe at all times, it's only natural for girls to get sick of their treatment and attempt to escape. These attempts never go off as planned, however, as some unseen maniac is more than willing to stab, slash, and kill these poor girls. It's just a matter of finding out who that is and why they're doing it, though it's not easy when you also have to deal with the bizarre politics of residing at this strange school... So...life sucks and then you die, huh? Seems to be the moral of the story. From the moment we step foot in the school there's a sense of unease that only increases as we stumble upon S&M lesbian overtones, peeping toms, a mother who seems to want her son to have an Oedipal Complex. The actual "kill count" on this flick is rather low, but it's made up for by a constant squirminess to the proceedings. The kills we do get are pretty cleverly put together, in the tradition of the Italian gialli. I've heard the film described as a more mean-spirited, less artistically-constructed sister to SUSPIRIA. I don't think the comparison is completely without merit, even though HOUSE THAT SCREAMED lacks the fantasy elements. The film is sick and twisted, with some solid performances, and some twists and plot developments I found interesting in the second half. It's not perfect, though. The film drags on occasion in the middle. As mentioned, there's not a whole lot of murder. And sorry, fellas, no nudity either. Apparently boarding school girls shower in nightgowns. How they actually get clean, I have no idea. These are minor gripes, though. The overall film is weird enough that it doesn't really need to cater to gorehounds and/or perverts (I include myself in both categories, by the way ). 4 stars out of 5. I got this flick in my Elvira's Movie Macabre double feature DVD set, and it more than made up for the other flick (the mind-numbingly boring MANEATER OF HYDRA). The set was in a discount bin at my local FYE for a whopping 2 dollars. That's a hell of a deal for this obscure gem.
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Post by DSR on Jul 19, 2012 13:26:22 GMT -5
Hey, for no reason at all, I'm bumping this thread to wish Hideo Nakata a Happy Birthday!
Nakata is the acclaimed director of the first RINGU movie, as well as it's sequel RINGU 2, the sequel to the American remake THE RING TWO, and the original DARK WATER. Happy 51st, Hideo!
;D
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Jul 20, 2012 18:13:00 GMT -5
Hey, for no reason at all, I'm bumping this thread to wish Hideo Nakata a Happy Birthday! Nakata is the acclaimed director of the first RINGU movie, as well as it's sequel RINGU 2, the sequel to the American remake THE RING TWO, and the original DARK WATER. Happy 51st, Hideo! ;D Happy birthday, Mr. Nakata. As you know, I'm a big fan of the guy. In addition to the movies you listed, Kaidan is also all kinds of awesome and sits comfortably in my "Top 10 horror flicks of the 21st century" list. Loved the review, as well. The House That Screamed sounds like (LNM cliche time) it would be right up my alley. Lastly, I watched Leprechaun today for the first time since 1993, and have the review (mostly) written. I never did get around to seeing any of the other movies in the franchise, although that will be changing soon. The review will be posted on here next Tuesday.
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Post by DSR on Jul 20, 2012 21:42:02 GMT -5
Hey, for no reason at all, I'm bumping this thread to wish Hideo Nakata a Happy Birthday! Nakata is the acclaimed director of the first RINGU movie, as well as it's sequel RINGU 2, the sequel to the American remake THE RING TWO, and the original DARK WATER. Happy 51st, Hideo! ;D Happy birthday, Mr. Nakata. As you know, I'm a big fan of the guy. In addition to the movies you listed, Kaidan is also all kinds of awesome and sits comfortably in my "Top 10 horror flicks of the 21st century" list. Loved the review, as well. The House That Screamed sounds like (LNM cliche time) it would be right up my alley. Lastly, I watched Leprechaun today for the first time since 1993, and have the review (mostly) written. I never did get around to seeing any of the other movies in the franchise, although that will be changing soon. The review will be posted on here next Tuesday. Even though I hate LEPRECHAUN, I dig your reviews enough that I'm looking forward to this. ;D
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2012 22:57:55 GMT -5
Does this mean we're getting the Leperchaun retrospective? YES! YES! YES!
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Post by Non Banjoble Tokens on Jul 20, 2012 23:09:03 GMT -5
So Netflix instant streamy thing now has "11-11-11," "Creature," and "Fading of The Cries" on tap for frosty sweet enjoyment. Those are a few horror movies that I've really been seriously considering thinking about maybe possibly watching in the near future. Those and "Piranha 3DD" but that's not on Netflix yet. We'll see if I can motivate myself to sit through any of these movies sometime soon so I can report back to you all what I thought about them as you briefly skim over my comments and say to yourselves, "Dammit Banjo, why you keep posting in our horror thread?"
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Jul 24, 2012 19:04:44 GMT -5
A little bit later than usual, but as promised, the Leprechaun-a-thon commences. Way back when the Lick Ness Monster was just a little hatchling, the summer of 1993 was a pretty eventful and formative one when it came to horror fandom. More than any other time period, that span was when my education took place at the oft-mentioned Greatest Video Store That Ever Existed. Me and my brother (RIP) took in tons of classic movies during that magical time when the Lex Express was in full effect. Hellraiser, Child's Play, Bram Stoker's Dracula...the list goes on and on. However, another movie that we scoped out some long ago Friday night was a micro-budgeted film that made its budget back some ten times over at the box office, and was about to launch a never-ending stream of direct-to-video sequels. But we'll be getting to those in due time. That movie is, of course, Leprechaun, the movie that starred the guy from Willow as an evil wisecracking Irish demon searching for his long lost pot o' gold. At the time, I thought that the movie kind of sucked, although I still enjoyed it just for the pure silliness and spectacle. After spending 150 minutes watching and dissecting it (that is how long it took - when I write these reviews, I occasionally have to pause in order to do my recapping/backbiting while the events are still fresh in my mind), I'm still of pretty much the same opinion. There are people in my everyday life who have called me an overgrown man-child, and this diagnosis of Leprechaun pretty much confirms it. Yes, the movie is pretty terrible, and I can't recommend it with any sort of good conscience, but there are some moments (and one scene in particular) that ALMOST make this worth putting up with 91 minutes of extremely cliched, extremely inane tedium. Before we get the hell going with this recap already, I also need to expound on the performance of the guy behind the layers of makeup and false facial hair. As AFOREMENTIONED, Warwick Davis plays your title character, and while certain parts of this flick - including the Leprechaun's lines - made me want to punch the TV, I can't fault the effort of Mr. Davis. Here's something that you can take to the bank - when you see a dwarf in a movie, it's a pretty safe bet that he/she will be acting their ass off, as recently seen with Phil Fondacero in the HMM reviewed film Ghoulies II. Davis might very well be the most successful dwarf in film history, having played everything from an Ewok to Professor Flitwick in the massively popular Harry Potter films, which are so big in mainstream pop culture that I haven't seen a single one of them. Derp. Even more, he's actually a HUGE FAN of this character, and has stated in numerous interviews that he treated every film as a serious undertaking. As someone who has read "Crystal Lake Memories" and paid witness to countless actors making fun of my favorite movie series of all time, this sort of attitude is very refreshing indeed, so five gold stars for Warwick Davis. What else? Leprechaun was released in January of 1993, and was actually the first movie that Trimark Pictures ever released. On a budget of $900,000, it wound up making more than $8 million in theaters and has since become something of a cult hit on video. Thus, while the flick is nineteen kinds of bad, it's easy to see why we have six of these movies taking up space in the horror section at Best Buy. I can respect any movie that makes a decent chunk of change from next to nothing of an initial investment, even if I don't necessarily like it. Oh yeah, and Jennifer Aniston is in this flick. With that, THE MOVIE!! The movie opens in a sea of Irish brogueness that would make WWE's Sheamus red with envy. An old gent by the name of Daniel O'Grady (Shay Duffin) returns home from Ireland (after presumably burying his mother) to inform his wife that he captured an honest-to-jeebus LEPRECHAUN while away in the land of shamrocks, shenanigans, and House of Pain - and thus, the little guy had to give up his pot of gold, and they are now rich. Because, you know, that's something that one should just expect to be easily believed. I'll give the movie this - it wastes absolutely NO time getting moving, even in comparison to other horror films with a micro small fries budget, to the point where we get our first kill within five minutes of this scene. Yep, it seems that the Leprechaun stowed away in O'Grady's briefcase, and being none too happy about giving up his precious pot o' gold immediately pushes O'Grady's wife down the stairs, breaking her neck in the process. In retaliation, O'Grady himself rushes his little green foe with a four leaf clover, which the impish demon recoils in horror from, before locking him in a trunk and immediately dying of a heart attack. So ends the beginning/exposition phase of the cinematic masterwork that is Leprechaun. The only other thing to mention at this point is that the Leprechaun makeup work by Gabriel Bartalos is actually quite impressive considering the budget - combined with Davis' earnest portrayal, he's no doubt a distinct and reasonably memorable character. Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but an endorsement nonetheless. From here, we flash forward ten years and meet Jennifer Aniston circa 1992. In this movie - her first - she plays Tory, a feisty city girl spending a summer in the countryside with her father at an old farmhouse. I almost LIKE the fact that we're given virtually no back story on Tory and her dad (John Sanderford), as any explanation why they are spending a lengthy vacation in such a decrepit, beat-up, completely out-of-the-way haven wouldn't be accepted in the intricate, moronic recesses of my brain. Since the majority of you enjoy my reviews being a bit more than just lengthy, bitchy recaps of long-forgotten horror movies from my youth, a few comments on Miss Aniston - surprise, surprise, I'm actually a fan. I know that her movies are, by and large, box office poison, but I'm a big admirer of her comedic timing and particularly the character of Rachel Green on Friends, where she survived as virtually the only main character who DIDN'T get Flandersized due to a one-dimensional portrayal. In this movie, she essentially plays a teenage version of Rachel - sassy-but-likable priss - and that's alright by me. Leprechaun may suck, but she's not a reason. Time for the amazing plot to get rolling; yeah, Tory's dad has rented a farmhouse for the summer, and I'll give you one guess as to which house this is. If you answered "the O'Grady house, where a certain murderous Leprechaun is still stowed a away in a crate in the basement," you get a cookie. Within minutes, one of the painters working on the house - a simplish oaf portrayed by Francis Buxton himself Mark Horton - sets the Leprechaun free. Fortunately for Horton (who has a made-up name for his character, but I refuse to call him anything else), the Leprechaun's powers are still weak, leaving our official body count still solid at 2. Before we delve further into the abyss, there's just a couple more characters that I need to introduce you to for clarification purposes. One of them is Nathan (Ken Olandt), the hunky leader of the painters who serves as Aniston's source of romantic tension for the film. Considering the godawful material that they're given and the fact that this story is never given closure, the two actors actually have decent chemistry together. Rounding out the cast is Robert Gorman as Nathan's little brother Alex, who contributes virtually nothing to the plot other than obligatory "kid in peril" moments that aren't suspenseful in the least bit. In essence, they could have replaced this kid with a cute furry dog and achieved the same effect. Since the movie's running time needs to be elongated, none of the other characters believe Horton when he tells them about the murderous imp in the basement, and not soon after, a rainbow appears in the sky. Ever the opportunist, Horton (no longer scared about seeing a Leprechaun a mere five minutes after the event) finds the end of the rainbow along with two of the Leprechaun's 100 gold coins - one of which he somehow manages to swallow (don't ask). This leads to death scene #2 of the film, which occurs after he takes the other coin to a local pawn shop. I remember this death scene vidily from my childhood, and it was actually the scene shown on the Boogeymen DVD release, as Davis hams it up and bounces up and down on pawn shop merchant's bulbous gut with a pogo stick in order to recover his precious coin. All things considered, this is the movie's money scene. Unfortunately, immediately following this, we are given a long, crappy, stupendously stupid segment involving a dumb cop stopping the Leprechaun as he speeds back toward the farmhouse (in a power wheel, no less) in search of the remaining 99 gold pieces. The less said about this death scene, the better. Upon making it back to the house, the Leprechaun goes to work cleaning every single shoe he finds. This is worth mentioning because, apparently, the guy was a shoemaker in his previous life, and has a Rain Man-like predisposition to cleaning every piece of footwear that he comes across. Methinks this is going to be important later. All of our main characters (minus Dad, who conveniently was attacked by a cat earlier in the film and had to be taken to the hospital) make their way back to the house and find it disarray. The movie then gives us a few EXTREMELY annoying jump scare scenes, but this serves as the appetizer for what may be the most hilariously stupid sequence I've seen in any horror movie. Get ready. OK, I'm jacked about this one. The core four group of characters hear a bell outside the farmhouse, which prompts dashing Nathan (who by this point has gotten Tory to warm up to his country-boy charms) to go out and investigate. Somehow, he misses the very poorly concealed bear trap in his walking path, which of course catches his leg in its grip before the Leprechaun reveals itself to him and begins attacking him. These screams cause the remaining three characters to run outside and check on their de facto leader. I'll fully admit that I expected the movie to pull the usual "hero tells other characters about the impossible thing he has just seen only for them not to believe" routine...but nope. Wasting no time, the Leprechaun sprints forward in front of everyone and bites Nathan in his leg wound. Alex (that would be cute puppy dog kid) picks up a nearby rock and nails his foe with a Hulk Hogan-like limp blow before Aniston begins socking the creature with the butt of a shotgun. Eventually, Nathan gains control of the weapon and blasts the creature with it. Inside the house, Horton runs for the phone, telling the redneck cops on the other end that "the leprechaun is attacking - send the marines, send the Navy!" Hilarity, I tells ya. The cherry on top? After being freed from the bear trap by the suddenly strong and resourceful Tory, Nathan shambles forward to the bush that the Leprechaun fell into after being shot and IMMEDIATELY empties every last round of ammunition into the shrubbery. Everybody got that? I love this sequence, not only for its start-and-stop editing and questionable material, but for the fact that it combines three tried-and-true tropes of horror films in a single 45-second string of events. Let's see what we got here: (1) The quasi-leading man putting himself into harm's way by investigating the STRANGE NOISE outside. (2) The potentially helpful police officers who laugh off a call for help. It's something I've seen in a lot of horror films; to cops, all victim characters are lying assholes. (3) The "running out of ammo" bit, which Nathan gives us for no discernable reason. Hey, that little bastard fell into the bush - I'm blowing the hell out of it! So ends the greatest movie scene...there ever was. As an added bonus (/redundancy), Tory discovers that the phone line is dead, and the movie is able to enter its final trimester as the four idiots find themselves locked in a battle for life against the little beast searching for his lost bundle o' gold. This makes me quite thankful, as it makes explaining the inane plot being presented far more streamlined from this point forward. We get yet another tried-and-true trope in the form of the painters' getaway vehicle not starting (and it's during this scene that I noticed that these guys have the greatest name for a business ever - "3 Guys that Paint"), followed by another uproarious scene as the Leprechaun overturns their vehicle with a tiny dune buggy. Not QUITE as riotous as the now-immortal bear trap sequence, but it's pretty damn special all the same. After being chased inside the house, the Leprechaun gets its hand cut off by a closing door, only for the severed limb to open the door by itself and crawl back to its master. Funny thing about this movie - they actually do a decent job of giving this diminuitive villain a decent slate of powers to make it seem relatively menacing. In addition to spontaneous hand regeneration, he also has the power to mimic voices, which has come in handy at a few points throughout the movie. I know I haven't recapped these points, but rest assured, they're there. Since the crux of this movie is "murderous Leprechaun attempting to find his lost gold," it would help the proceedings swimmingly if...you know...said gold was actually FOUND. Tory finds it in a well outside the house and gives it to the now magically appearing Leprechaun, who is none too pleased to find that one of the coins is missing. Before our heroes can escape, the pissed-off and slightly reward-free Leprechaun teleports inside the house so our final faceoffs can commence. Firstly, Horton realizes what the Leprechaun wants - the gold coin that he swallowed (which you would realize if you are an especially attentive and/or bored reader). Proving himself moderately useful, Horton then suggests going to visit Old Man O'Grady, now in a rest home after suffereing the heart attack in the movie's prologue, and they are able to reach Tory's jeep after tossing all of the house's shoes at the Leprechaun. In this respect, shoes to this character are somewhat akin to rice with vampires, in that it encompasses an OCD-like response that serves as the villain's achilles heel. Or I'm just looking way too deeply into it. Well, admittedly, I'm growing somewhat restless wading in the endless muck that is Leprechaun, so let's speed this up, shall we? Do you really need me to tell you that the good guys win? Well, they do. After finding out from a near-dead O'Grady (the Leprechaun beat our heroes to the punch) that four-leaf clovers are Leprechaun kryptonite, they find one of the incredibly rare weeds and, after moderate intrigue, Alex shoots the clover into the Leprechaun's mouth with his slingshot. Smiles, laughs, shits and giggles all around. All of our main characters survive, although the film ends with a voiceover by Davis informing us that he is still searching for his gold, cursing both the Earth and yours truly with the promise of more nonaction. Final judgment: This movie doesn't exactly unspool in a nice, efficient, well-written fashion, and it should be well-apparent reading the above scatterbrained recap (which is even more confusing than usual, I know). With the exception of Aniston, the hero characters are pretty much unbearable - although I did get a lot of milage out of screaming "Hey, it's Enrico Palazzo!" every time Horton appeared on the screen to no one in particular. The "scary" scenes aren't scary in the least. And the story, while occasionally inventive, is incredibly bland and uninteresting. All that aside...this movie does hold some nostalgic value for yours truly, both for the memory of watching it with my brother almost twenty years ago and for reminding me what horror movies were like in the days before seemingly every major release was a goddamn remake. And that incredibly awesome bear trap/beating/shootout scene ALONE raised the star rating by a full half-point. Nonetheless, I'm not looking forward to the rest of this series in the least bit assuming the law of diminishing returns kicks in, because I'm told that this is actually (shudder) the BEST movie in the series. ** out of ****, and those ** are for ALL the wrong reasons.
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Post by DSR on Jul 26, 2012 16:46:49 GMT -5
Yep, that's about what I expected, Lickness.
I know it's been rather slow in this thread here, but seeing Halloween decor start popping up in local stores has started getting me back in the mood for the stuff we started these threads for. I bought a cheapo Dracula door knocker today just for the hell of it. ;D Bring it on, Banj. Always good to have another voice around here.
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Jul 27, 2012 9:20:59 GMT -5
Thank you, DSR. I too have noticed some of the Halloween trinkets popping up in the big stores. Always puts a bright spin on my day.
Well, since (a) I'm bored, and (b) maybe somebody else will find this as fascinating as I did...I had the best dream of all time yesterday. In this dream, all I was doing was watching a movie, and this movie was presented to me in a LOT of detail and vividness. This movie was a Friday the 13th reboot...but somehow, I knew that this fictional flick was released in 1985 (directly after The Final Chapter), and somehow, I also knew that this movie more or less replaced the later entries in the series. How I came by this knowledge, I don't know, but dreams are weird like that.
Anyway, this movie was substantially more big-budget than the first four films in the series - not mega-super-duper special effects extravaganza huge, but probably $20-$30 million in 1985 money. One thing that struck me as really unique was that the characters weren't the usual group of horny teen-agers - instead, it was a team of mostly male loggers operating in the woods and eventually stumbling across the ruins of Camp Crystal Lake and thus entering "We're Screwed" territory. The Pamela Voorhees massacre did indeed happen in this universe, as the token "gruff male" leader of the loggers remembers and recounts the story after finding the camp. However, Jason was the villain in this flick, and was somewhat supernatural in nature from the get-go (he absorbs several gunshots and a few axe blows throughout the movie and keeps on tickin') as opposed to "Human Jason" from the initial cycle of films that preceded this (crazy dream) movie. Much like Michael Myers in the first two Halloween films, this is never explained - he's there, he's huge, he's pissed off and he's damn near indestructible, leaving us to fill in the blanks as to WHY.
Oh, and the best part - the main character in this movie that existed only in my deep subconscious was a good-hearted, tough and funny female member of the logging corps...played by the ultimate "scream queen" herself, Jamie Lee Curtis.
I know this is all pretty boring, but I woke up with a big smile on my face before going to work last night and spent the better part of eight hours at my factory job thinking about it. Now, I love the Friday the 13th series and wouldn't change a thing, but WHAT would it have been like if Paramount had decided to go for broke with their cheap-and-very profitable slasher franchise during the peak of its popularity in the mid-'80s, ending the initial series with the death of Jason in The Final Chapter and restarting with a much different tone than the goofiness that we got in Parts V-VIII? Would it have colosally failed there? Or would it have ballooned in popularity and been able to fight off that upstart Nightmare on Elm Street series a bit better? At the very least, you've got to admit that a Friday the 13th movie featuring 26-year-old Jamie Lee Curtis duking it out with Jason freakin' Voorhees is an intriguing proposition.
Or maybe I just need to stop eating pizza before bedtime. ;D
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Welfare Willis
Crow T. Robot
Pornomancer 555-BONE FDIC Bonsured
Game Center CX Kacho on!
Posts: 44,259
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Post by Welfare Willis on Jul 27, 2012 11:06:33 GMT -5
Quick review - THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN aka (SNAPSHOT)
This film is apart of the Katrina's Nightmare Theatre label released by Scorpion releasing. As one can guess, the title has nothing to do with the movie itself and was called that in the states because of Halloween.
The film itself has to do with a young hairdresser who's friend talks her into a nude model shoot for a campaign. Of course, not all tis well after the campaign catches on...
Personally I felt the film was more melodrama than horror. I'd say rent it if you're a fan of Australian horror, but other say the only real drama is Katrina's segments at the beginning and end and the quick nudity.
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Post by DSR on Jul 30, 2012 13:33:43 GMT -5
LNM, as cool as your dream movie is, I think I'd ultimately miss the corny-but-charming nature of the second half of the Friday the 13th Franchise. Except for JASON X. F*** that movie.
Though, I had a dream about a movie where a shark flew through a mall attacking people, and woke up wanting to make that movie. I still hope to eventually write a script for it, at least.
I recently watched I SAW WHAT YOU DID (1965), a William Castle flick about 2 teenaged girls who make prank calls, saying "I saw what you did, and I know who you are." Unfortunately, one of the recipients of these calls was a man who actually killed his girlfriend. Circumstances allow this man to track down the girls who made the phonecall, and terror ensues...
Well, not so much "terror" as melodrama. The flick generally doesn't focus much on the potential horror of the situation. Though there is a woman getting stabbed in the shower, not unlike a certain Hitchcock classic. But, like, the teen girls are babysitting another girl, around 9 or 10 years old. The 10 year old is precocious and allows for a lot of comic relief.
Anyway, the flick is well-made all around, and the premise is carried out well. Just don't go in expecting a horror movie. And the ending has a weird mood-whiplash effect. 3.5 stars out of 5.
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Jul 31, 2012 10:00:23 GMT -5
It's Tuesday, and you know what that means - BLOG TIME. And, well, this one is a doozy, as the HMM Leprechaunfest 2012 begins its rapid-fire descent into hell. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Back in the day of the horror franchise reviews (and believe me, every time I type those words, I shudder), I got a few requests to cover the Leprechaun series. I never did, partially because they just didn't interest me that much, and partly because some of the horror stories that I'd heard about them weren't of the good variety. I'll never forget these sage words of wisdom from one of my fellow posters on the old Wrestlecrap message board: "Oh man, the first Leprechaun is like a one-star affair. You'd have to go into NEGATIVE star territory for the rest of the godforsaken things." The dude wasn't lying. Having now witnessed the first two filmsi n the franchise, man, the law of diminishing returns sure does kick in mighty fast in this series about an evil fantasy creature who really, really likes his gold. While I didn't particularly care for the first movie, it was at least passable at points and contained a couple decent supporting performances. Compared to the movie in question today, it's Citizen Kane. Released roughly 15 months after its predecessor, Leprechaun 2 was the last movie in the franchise to be released in theaters. Understandable, since it was nowhere near as profitable as the first film - it made a little over $2.3 million at the box office on a budget of $2 million. There really isn't that much else to say about this flick from an informational standpoint - I don't know the director or any cast members besides Warwick Davis as the Leprechaun himself and Clint Howard in a very brief cameo as a tourist. I'm not sure that it's entirely worth spending five minutes scouring Google for more dirt, either. THE MOVIE!! Did you know that every thousand years, a Leprechaun can claim any woman he wants as his bride on Saint Patrick's Day? Well, according to the universe of these films, he can. That's the introductory segment we get in this flick, as the Leprechaun chases down his loyal slave William O'Day and informs him of his marital intentions. And...ugh. Maybe it's apparent, maybe it isn't, but the thing that I HATE doing in these reviews more than anything else is explaining the rules of fictional universes, particularly when these universes are as banal as this one. Christ, my reviews are long enough already without having to recap barely significant crap like this just so that the story kinda-sorta makes sense - you'd think these film-makers could make these freakin' things easy once and a while. *Takes breath* Okay, so the Leprechaun can marry any woman he wants who sneezes three times, so long as nobody utters the words "God bless you" during this holy process. Lo and behold, the woman he has chosen is O'Day's own daughter...and lo and behold, O'Day's conscience wins out as he saves his daughter at his own expense. The Leprechaun kills his slave in retaliation, utilizing his Jedi-like powers to choke the dude to death with his VERY MIND. End introductory segment. With that, we warp forward 1000 years to good ol' Saint Patty's Day in modern Los Angeles. And man, you have not seen sad until you've met the stellar cast that we're about to be introduced to. In a plot move that will surprise no one, Bridget Callum (Shevonne Durkin) is our main character, a teenage girl and descendent of the O'Day family living in modern Los Angeles. I'd say more about her, but this would imply that she is something more than a talking skeleton. Her boyfriend is Cody (Charlie Heath), who along with his uncle Morty (Sandy Baron) run a scammy "dark side of Hollywood" tour in the great, grand City of Angels. We see this amazing operation in excruciating detail throughout the early goings of Leprechaun 2, consisting of driving around suburban neighborhoods while large Africa-American occupants douse the car with water. If you want an endurance test of just how much tedium a human being can take, these segments of the film make a damn fine one. Soon enough, Warwick Davis himself appears to barely rescue the film, emerging from a tree and immediately ripping the gold tooth out of some homeless bum's mouth. Hey, he really likes gold. If nothing else, I once again have to give it up for Davis - he singlehandedly saves this movie from getting the dreaded NO STAR treatment. No matter how bad the material, he acts like it's important. What a trooper. Utilizing his ever-changing magical powers, he homes in on Bridget's location and commences Operation Nail the Blonde. Because Leprechauns need nookie too, ya know. At her house, Bridget is being accosted by Ian (Adam Biesk), a worker at a Go-Kart track that she and Cody had been planning on going to (he had to ditch her to run a tour, an event that is supposed to create all kinds of relationship drama but really just bored me to tears even further). After striking out miserably, we get death scene #1, and to be fair, it's pretty damn cringeworthy. For starters, Bridget appears in the garage of her house, beckoning Ian back to cocktease-land. Only this time, she's not just teasing, as she takes off her shirt and exposes her body double's breasts. As far as the illusions that the murderous imp conjures up, this one is something else, as mock Bridget's breasts are really LAWNMOWER BLADES. And, as he leans in to kiss them...OUCH. You know what they say, kids - if a hot chick attempts to lure you into her house with the promise of sex, she's probably just a leprechaun's fantastical murdering device. Or something. Having gotten sick of his uncle's bulls*** games, Cody shows up at Bridget's house, very apologetic and wielding flowers. With very little intrigue, Bridget quickly sneezes three times, and before Cody can say the magic soul-saving words, the Leprechaun himself appears and knocks our hero out cold. This series isn't very big on intrigue, if you haven't figured it out. With very little fanfare, the Leprechaun claims Bridget as his bride and absconds to his (actually somewhat cool) underground lair, where we get yet another tedious rule - apparently, Leprechauns can only screw if all of their gold is present. Yeah. Since one of his gold coins was dropped in the struggle with Bridget, that sets the rest of our plot back in motion - and believe it or not, we're only halfway done with the movie at this point. *SIGH* So Cody - wielding the missing gold shilling - is now a fugitive, as the cops have shown up at Bridget's household and discovered Ian's body along with a note from Cody. He and Morty are soon chased out of their own house by the Leprechaun, now in full-on murderous "I WANT ME GOLD!" mode. They go to a bar, where of course tons of little people dressed as leprechauns are out and about celebrating the holiday. It's here where we get one of the only decent sequences in the film, as super con man Morty challenges the Leprechaun to a drinking contest, switching out his own drinks with soda water while Davis does his damndest "drunk" impersonation. It elicited a chuckle or two from me, anyway. Right after this, we get a scene in a coffee shop where the Leprechaun sobers up. Oh, and the waiter in this little sidebar is played by Michael McDonald, the man best known as Stuart from MadTV as well as approximately 14,000 other characters. In my humble opinion, the dude is quite the comedian and a decent actor to boot, and he makes the most of his 90 seconds of screen time in Leprechaun 2 - even when he's getting stabbed in the hands and having hot steam blown on his face. Alright, time for a bit of back story setting up the third act of this movie. Earlier in the flick, Cody had been arrested for running a red light while running the dark side tour. While in jail, the very same homeless bum who had first seen the Leprechaun was there for an unrelated reason, saying that he saw a creature emerge from a tree at Houdini's ruins on the outskirts of Los Angeles. Convenient, eh, that our heroes know EXACTLY where the villain's lair is? I also should have pointed out that the Leprechaun's weakness is different for this go-round - this time, anything wrought iron is his kryptonite, leading Cody and Morty to attempt to retrieve a giant wrought-iron safe from the Go-Kart track. Because that's what they should be spending their time doing. This does, however, lead to Morty's death scene in one of those moronic tributes to the ol' "Monkey's Paw" story. Cody is able to trap the Leprechaun in the safe, at which point Morty gets greedy, locking his nephew in a store room and milking the beast for three wishes. I won't recount the entire story, but the sequence ends with the Leprechaun freed and Morty's stomach cut open as he lays in a pool of his own blood. Another life lesson from Leprechaun 2: if a Leprechaun grants you three wishes, don't be a dumbass and realize that he's probably going to do something extremely devious. Time to wrap this up. Cody breaks out of the storeroom, and we get our ending sequence back in the underground lair, complete with the heartwarming reunion between Cody and Bridget - which I might have cared a lot more about had they had more than five minutes of screen time together before this. There's this LONG, very Nightmare on Elm Street-esque process where the two lovebirds attempt to find their way out of the lair, only to find themselves back where they started time and time again. Cody finally agrees to give the Leprechaun the coin in exchange the coin for Bridget after she turns on the charm and smooches him. Surprise, surprise - Bridget was really the Leprechaun! He makes off with his gold and his bride, ready to bring Bridget to a fate worse than death when Cody suddenly rises up and shoves an iron crowbar through his chest. See, earlier in the movie, one of the dwarves at the bar had given him a gold coin made of milk chocolate, and in a Vince Russo-like swerve, that was what he had given the Leprechaun, thus making him still invulnerable to the Leprechaun's holy powers. And...that's pretty much it, folks - the Leprechaun explodes, Cody and Bridget escape the lair and declare their love, happy times for all. And I can go on back to being a sane person. FINAL ANALYSIS: Sitting down to watch this movie, I expected it to be bad - but nothing could have prepared me for the levels of suckitude that Leprechaun 2 manages to reach. The characters are terrible. The acting, with the exception of Davis and McDonald's all-too-brief cameo, is atrocious. The story defies to make any amount of sense. And...it ain't scary. In the least bit. Two movies into this series, and I've already lost the will to live. 1/2 * out of ****.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2012 13:30:28 GMT -5
You already lost the will to live? Oh, just you wait...you haven't even gone to space yet. FWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *coughs* Damn allergies. Then again, least that one has Heidi from Home Improvement. That's...somewhat of a bonus.
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kidglov3s
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Wants her Shot
Who is Tiger Maskooo?
Posts: 15,870
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Post by kidglov3s on Jul 31, 2012 13:42:50 GMT -5
If it's any consolation, I think Leprechaun 2 is pretty easily the least entertaining movie of the 6.
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andrew8798
FANatic
on 24/7 this month
Posts: 106,084
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Post by andrew8798 on Aug 2, 2012 1:46:51 GMT -5
TCM has already released their Halloween horror movie lineup
Wednesday, October 3 CLASSIC HORROR 8:00PM Mystery of the Wax Museum (1933) 9:30PM Doctor X (1932) 11PM Mark of the Vampire (1935) 12:15AM Man-Made Monster (1941) 1:30AM House of Dracula (1945) 2:45AM Night of the Living Dead (1968) 4:30AM I Walked With a Zombie (1943
Wed. October 10 CLASSIC HORROR 8PM The Haunting (1963) 10PM The Uninvited (1944) 12:00AM House on Haunted Hill (1958) 1:30AM Dead of Night (1945) 3:30AM The Innocents (1961) 5:15AM 13 Ghosts (1960)
Wed Oct. 17 CLASSIC HORROR 8PM Horror of Dracula (1958) 9:30PM The Curse of Frankenstein (1957) 11:00PM The Mummy (1959) 12:45AM The Gorgon (1964) 2:15AM The Devil's Bride (1968) 4AM Plague of the Zombies (1966)
Wednesday, October 24 CLASSIC HORROR 8:00PM The Raven (1963) 9:45PM Pit and the Pendulum (1961) 11:15PM Masque of the Red Death (1964) 1:00AM Murders in the Rue Morgue (1932) 2:15AM The Black Cat (1934) 3:30AM Fall of the House of Usher (1949) 4:45AM Dead Men Walk (1943)
October 31 Wed CLASSIC HORROR ALL DAY AND NIGHT 6:30AM London After Midnight (1927) - still reconstruction 7:30AM The Ghoul (1933) 9:00AM House of Dark Shadows (1970) 11:00AM Repulsion (1965) 1:00PM Tomb of Ligeia 2:30PM Last Man on Earth (1964) 4:00PM The Devil Bat (1940) 5:15PM White Zombie (1932) 6:30PM The Body Snatcher (1945) 8:00PM Frankenstein (1931) 9:30 Son of Frankenstein (1939) 11:15PM The Wolfman (1941) 12:30AM The Mummy (1932) 2:00AM The Mummy's Hand (1940) 3:15AM Island of Lost Souls (1932) 4:30AM The Invisible Man (1933)
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