Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Dec 28, 2011 0:42:55 GMT -5
Jeezum Crow......
My Opponent's in as bad a shape as I am.....and my Tag Partner thinks he's .......Roosevelt. Welp......I've got a few options here....I can either take after General and try to do something positive....like passing Social Security or a sweeping economic reform to get us out of the Depression Or.....Since we're going to be here anyway I challenge you Ryan Blood to a......
HOSPITAL HAVOC HARDCORE HULLABALOO!
Since we're both in the WWCF Medical Facility....and we have some unfinished business why don't we battle it out amongst the gurneys and bedpans? Everything in the hospital can be a weapon.....the emesis basins, the IV Poles.....the *Shudders visibly* scalpels.......I've gotten all goose-pimpley thinking about it. Ahh there you are Vice President Fairbanks.
May I ask why are you in the nude? Well......Gener-- Mister President, I've decided to do as you do sirrah! I'm tracking Big Game! The wily and elusive Ryan Blood is a wiry git of a beast and I intend to bag him and take his title for sport! I've urinated on myself to cover my scent (Well....mostly to do that) and I've removed my clothes to adequtely move among the brush without them snagging on an errant branch or twig.
The Smears of mud are camoflauge and the yellow rubber ducky is functions both to give my quarry a false sense of security as well as provide a distraction. Simply put Mr Roosevelt, I am gearing up for either war.....or the greatest hunt of my life, either way it will be a simply capital bit of fun!
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,073
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on Dec 28, 2011 0:59:21 GMT -5
As it stime to christen a new King for us, I scoff at such an idea. Any fool can be king, be it a town, a county or a nation, but an Emperor? No mere man can be such a figure as that.
That is why I shall enter. And when I naturally win it, I shall rename it and myself. After all, "Emperor Amigo" just sounds so nice.
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Jeremy Dupoe
Don Corleone
Your lack of intelligence disgusts me
Posts: 1,414
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Post by Jeremy Dupoe on Dec 28, 2011 7:48:06 GMT -5
*Disturbance is watching the PPV* This is what this Dupoe guys does? HAHAHAHAHAAAAAaaaaa oh man Alpha its like shock therapy all over again I LOVE THIS Well now, that was interesting indeed after all I think we all have some *ahem* unresolved stress that can get rid of in the ring. *his expression changes to one of pure joy*You mean... yes Psycho, lets...get...violent WOOOO MERRY F****** CHRISTMAS TO ME SOMEONE BRING ME THAT HOBO WE GOT ONCE HES CONSCIOUS AGAIN I GOTTA TELL HIM
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Post by General Adam on Dec 28, 2011 8:44:10 GMT -5
Ahh there you are Vice President Fairbanks.
May I ask why are you in the nude? Well......Gener-- Mister President, I've decided to do as you do sirrah! I'm tracking Big Game! The wily and elusive Ryan Blood is a wiry git of a beast and I intend to bag him and take his title for sport! I've urinated on myself to cover my scent (Well....mostly to do that) and I've removed my clothes to adequtely move among the brush without them snagging on an errant branch or twig.
The Smears of mud are camoflauge and the yellow rubber ducky is functions both to give my quarry a false sense of security as well as provide a distraction. Simply put Mr Roosevelt, I am gearing up for either war.....or the greatest hunt of my life, either way it will be a simply capital bit of fun! Bully! I always enjoy the spirit of the big hunt. Good luck my boy. Bully!
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Post by Mr. Socko's Brother on Dec 28, 2011 10:23:45 GMT -5
Ahh there you are Vice President Fairbanks.
May I ask why are you in the nude? Well......Gener-- Mister President, I've decided to do as you do sirrah! I'm tracking Big Game! The wily and elusive Ryan Blood is a wiry git of a beast and I intend to bag him and take his title for sport! I've urinated on myself to cover my scent (Well....mostly to do that) and I've removed my clothes to adequtely move among the brush without them snagging on an errant branch or twig.
The Smears of mud are camoflauge and the yellow rubber ducky is functions both to give my quarry a false sense of security as well as provide a distraction. Simply put Mr Roosevelt, I am gearing up for either war.....or the greatest hunt of my life, either way it will be a simply capital bit of fun!*Blood walks into the shot* Hey, a rubber ducky! How cute--wait, NO! I refuse to fall victim to the "distracting rubber duck" ploy for a sixth time! Nice try, Demento!
As it happens, a good night's rest was all I needed and I'm ready to be discharged. Good thing too, since I'm hoping to get into that big King Of WrestleCrap tournament this year! Your idea intrigues me, though, so if the administrator here doesn't mind us battling all over the building, then I accept your challenge!
Or rather, I accept it with the following stipulations: that you wrestle the match both clothed and not covered in piss.*He wrinkles his nose in disgust*
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Dec 28, 2011 15:13:30 GMT -5
OOC: Just Sayin'
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The Punisher
Unicron
"They don't fear the law. They fear me..."
Posts: 3,082
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Post by The Punisher on Dec 28, 2011 15:54:41 GMT -5
*A harassed looking doctor slumps into a chair in his office. He picks up the phone and dials a well rehearsed number*
Voice: Hello, you're through to the WWCF hotline. To enter the King of WrestleCrap Tournament, press 1. To change your gimmick, press 2. To shill your merchandise, press 3. To request one of your matches in included in the next Botchamania, press 4. To laugh at TNA, press 5. To laugh at WWE, press 6 (please be aware this option carries the threat of legal action from Vince McMahon). If you have a creative idea, please press 7. If you have a complaint, please press 8. If you are Vince Russo, please hang up now.
*The doctor presses 8*
Voice: Hello, you're through to the WWCF Complaints department, my name is Janice, how can I help you?
Doc: Yes, this is Doctor Richards from Crapston General, I've got a complaint about overcrowding at the hospital.
Janice: I'm sorry Doctor, but I don't see how overcrowding at your hospital is our problem?
Doc: I'll tell you why it's your problem, because that knuckle dragging nutcase called Castle keeps sending people here, that's why!
Janice: All WWCF employees are highly trained professionals and carry full medical insurance...
Doc: Don't give me that crap lady, no insurance company would cover the lunatics you have working for you. My nurses are nervous wrecks, I'm rading the tranquilzer cabinet, and each Monday we have more people wheeled in here with bits of them hanging off. When you have a pay per view, it's worse, it's like House but without the sexual tension between me and the lead nurse.
Janice: If you'd like to put your complaint in writing and send it to the following address...
Doc: How about I fart in an envelope and send you that instead lady? We're backed up here. We've got an Irish guy, a guy who insists on wearing shades at night and a guy who thinks he's the embodiment of Evil all in the long term care ward, still in comas, we've got a guy who keeps getting out of bed and sleeping in the boiler room, a guy who keeps beating up the orderly and someone who thinks he's President Roosevelt all shacked up here. It's not exactly a barrel of laughs, you know what I'm saying?
Janice: We understand your conerns sir, and would like to offer you this concilatory ham as a way of compensation...
Doc: Ham? HAM??!! There's enough ham in here already to fill up a 30 page promo thread!
Janice: May I ask then sir, what exactly do you want?
Doc: I want Frank Castle to come here and see exactly what he's responsible for. I want him to come and meet the nurses who are caring for these men, I want him to come and see the job we do here day after day, cleaning up his mess, making people better that he has hurt. Do you understand that, Janice?
Janice: I understand perfectly sir, I've just sent an email to our Commissioner Vincent Van Agony, who will make sure that Frank Castle, as a responsible employee, will be over to see you as soon as possible.
Doc: Thank God for that, now maybe that idiot will see what he's repsonsible for. I doubt he's ever seen the inside of a hospital.
Janice: Oh, he has sir, I know that. In fact, he used to spend lots of time there.
Doc: Then why does he keep saying he hates them?
Janice: Don't you know doctor? His wife used to be a nurse.
Doc: What??!
Janice: Yes, and she had an affair with a doctor.
Doc: Erm...did she?
Janice: Yes. Mr. Castle doesn't like nurses, and he hates doctors.
Doc: What happened to the doctor his wife had an affair with?
Janice: Well lets just say he never had the balls to perform surgery again - in fact, he never had the balls for anything at all after he met Mr. Castle.
Doc: You know something, maybe it's better we don't take up any of Mr. Castle's time - I'm not sure it would be worth his while coming here.
Janice: Well, the complaint's been registered now, Mr. Van Agony has just emailed me to say Mr. Castle is coming over to see you right now. I've emailed him with your direct line, cell number, home number and address, just in case you're busy and he can pop round to your house later.
Doc: Wait, what, how have you? No, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
Janice: Have a nice day Doctor.
*Phone goes dead*
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Post by General Adam on Dec 28, 2011 16:19:18 GMT -5
OOC: Just Sayin' OCC: Awesome.
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lodirulz
Hank Scorpio
Live as the color red in a world of black and white.
Posts: 6,412
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Post by lodirulz on Dec 28, 2011 16:49:13 GMT -5
World of light till darkness came, Earthquakes and thunder shook the day, Cities crashing people dieing, Seems like a land full of crying, Some say the end but I say the beginning, The sky's turn dark the end is near, 2012 is coming so you best be prepared. THE END IS NEAR WHAT YOU KNOW SO DEAR WILL COME CRASHING DOWN AT THE SIGHT, OF THE REBIRTH. [/color]
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Post by Connor Mackenzie on Dec 29, 2011 15:15:28 GMT -5
The camera pans to a locker room, Connor Mackenzie stands with his back to the camera, his mid-torso being tapped up by a trainer who seems to be rather hesitant in doing so.
Well Whitey, I have to hand it to you. You got me. Pinned me in the middle of the ring 1,2,3. But you know what. It wasn't easy was it. A few more seconds and I can tell you that things would have been much different. Though I must say, going back and watching your face turning a nice shade of purple was rather entertaining.
The trainer finishes up the tape job and checks it over before giving the man a look of disapproval.
Going against most everyone's orders by being here tonight. But I didn't come into this business to take days off. The people have paid to see the wrestlers of the WWCF and I'm going to make sure they do.
Connor reaches for his cloak and puts it on, putting the hood up as he turns to face the camera.
Even though I lost, I'm not going to be bitter. You saw an opening and took it. Mind you, that opening seems to have done a bit of damage. Let's just say that any harder and I most likely would have been spitting a lot more blood out then I did. You're lucky in that respect Whitey. I could have held this against you, you nearly ending my career. But all you've done is make me more focused on being the best that there is in the WWCF. That is not going to be our last encounter, no. There will most assuradly be others and I can guarantee that the outcome will be much different. So take your win, enjoy it while you can. My gaze is upon a much bigger target then you.
Connor points at the camera, his teeth gritted.
Viva Inc., the Equalizers will meet you at every turn. Every run in, every attempt to swing things in your favour. And come King of Wrestlecrap, I'll do everything in my power to ensure that none of you have a chance to capture the WWCF championship.
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Gus Richlen Was Wrong
Patti Mayonnaise
Metal Maestro: Co-winner of the FAN Idol Throwdown!
Fun while it lasted
Posts: 38,480
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Post by Gus Richlen Was Wrong on Dec 29, 2011 15:57:36 GMT -5
*The automatic sliding door at the hospital opens as a medic comes stumbling out of the building. Gus Richlen is hot on his heels, grabbing him and throwing him into the shrubbery and walking off towards the parking lot. Shaelin Marie O'Hara drives the Civic around to the front entrance, causing Richlen to turn around and walk back.*
Got a pen and paper in there?
*Shaelin opens up the glovebox and tosses him pen and paper. Richlen promptly starts writing, using the hood for a desk.*
ViVA,
I mean it. Either I go through the King Of Wrestlecrap tournament, where you know I will win and go on to become the WWCF Champion, or I am going to make sure that you have no choice but to stop running away from me and face me in the ring. Your choice.
Richlen
*Richlen then takes the note and drops it on the downed medic before wordlessly walking back to the car, where he and Shaelin drive off.*
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Post by Head Detective Aaron Enigma on Dec 30, 2011 3:39:53 GMT -5
*Aaron Enigma is seen training in his study, which seems to have transformed into half a gym as well as a library*
Well Smokey, that was a hell of a match. I know it ended in a double disqualification, but I think both of us know who the real winner was. You claimed that you were the best technical wrestler in the world, yet you just couldn't get that pinfall on me to end it. So you reverted to your old ways. You brought a foreign object into the ring and as you found out I have no problem hitting someone with a chair that deserves it.
You see I am not a fool. If you come at me with a chair, a sledgehammer, anything illegal, it gives me the green light to retaliate in an equal manner. I don't have a problem with it, that's just how I am. However, you couldn't get it done with your "new found skill and talent" so you just wanted to hurt me, like you have in the past to others. Unfortunately I am no slouch when it comes to street fighting and using any means necessary to win. You found that out didn't you though, Smokey? I smashed that chair on your so many times I lost count, and I enjoyed every last hit.
I'm not the goody-two-shoes you see me as. I am ruthless, vicious and intense in that ring. I can be a crafty mental player, or the violent brawler. I can do it all, Vokoun! I am the true jack of all trades in WWCF. Just look at me, living a double life as a wrestler AND a detective? Who else could do that? Nobody in this business, that's for sure.
I know we will cross paths again, and make no mistake, next time I will win decisively.
Oh, and of course about the whole majority shareholder case, well I have some great information for EVERYONE in WWCF as well as the WWCF Galaxy. I will be revealing that during the next show, so be sure to pay close attention, you don't want to miss it.
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Jazzman
King Koopa
Trombone Shorty > Your Favorite Musician
Posts: 11,231
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Post by Jazzman on Dec 31, 2011 0:56:19 GMT -5
*Cut to Bergman in his office at his jazz club*
So, another chapter in the vaunted Smokey/Jazzman storybook. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the people who decided these brackets because you've given me a chance to get personal with someone who I respect, but sure as hell don't like that much.
You see Smokey, I'd like to personally thank you because without you I wouldn't be in this situation. You see,ever since you beat me at NOTWZ I've been waiting and preparing for the start of this tournament. I thank you for pinning me into a corner and making me rediscover the thrill of competition and having to prove myself.
You see, too long have I sat on my laurels expecting to get things done around here, thinking that what I've done would help me do things now. You're the reason I've gone back to square one and you're the person I have to defeat to prove my worth to these people again.
Once the people forget you Smokey it's over, and I've not ready for that curtain to fall on me just set. Center spotlight, perched for the world to see in a throne and my crown. It's isn't just a dream Vokoun, it's the future. Get behind or be left behind, because I'm not going anywhere.
See you Monday buddy, the WWCF's measuring stick will be waiting for ya.
*We see the back of the door with a sign on it reading, "Hail To The King" as the camera fades to black*
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Dec 31, 2011 1:04:52 GMT -5
Connor Mackenzie......The Digital Dragon....
Allow me to introduce M'self, I'm Doctor Demento. Dementation, delusion and delirium are my claims to fame and hardcore chicanery is my stock in trade. The kindly folks at the Nut Ward allow me out each week to compete for the WWCF (assuming I don't escape first). They consider any damage I do to my opponents to be cathartic. Perhaps when I try to twist your spine like a pretzel it'll help me work through some deep seated emotional turmoil.....perhaps my desire to cause people so much pain masks my desire to REALLY cause people pain?
Or perhaps a suplex is just a suplex.....
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smokinvokoun
Dennis Stamp
Daffy's Gonna Kill You
Posts: 4,770
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Post by smokinvokoun on Dec 31, 2011 2:54:59 GMT -5
We see Smokin Vokoun and Lou Thesz III sitting in Vokoun's basement . Vokoun is laying back in a beach chair and Thesz is in one of his own
Vokoun: You know Lou, I think it's perfectly clear that a few people in the WWCF have their heads up their own asses. These "heroes" of the WWCF Galaxy. The men that are fighting the "good" fight against those "evil doers". The "purest of the pure". But Aaron, you didn't want to be that way...didn't ya? Because I came into our title match at Christmassacre to have a wrestling match. That's all. A wrestling match. Because I wanted to prove to all of the loser fans in the WWCF....that not only could I wrestle...but prove that I was the best. And for a time, I proved just that, by out wrestling you at every turn. But you didn't want a wrestling match...you wanted a fight. Well Aaron, I have to be perfectly honest here....that was a mistake by counts. Because, you were stupid enough to try and stand toe to toe with the greatest street fighter to ever grace a WWCF ring, my two Hardcore Championships prove that. However, the mistake for me.....was that I let you do the one thing that I knew that you wanted me to do....you made me mad. You made me lose focus. You made me lose my game plan...which was to out wrestle you. And if I did that....then I would be sitting here today with the Interforum Championship belt over my shoulder. Because of you Aaron, I lost my cool and I shoved the twerp referee. But what got me was when you used that chair...then I couldn't take it anymore. You made me revert to my old ways. Which is a huge mistake for you because you could never beat me in a Hardcore match if your life depended on it. But, I do not want to go back to being a Garbage wrestler. However.....the next time we met....and it will be sooner than you think....you won't get the chance to make me angry. Not in a match....not in anywhere. Tell him what we did Lou....[/color]
Thesz III: You know Smokey....I know Aaron Enigma must be overjoyed that he got out of Christmasscare with that belt. Because the only way that he was ever gonna walk out of that ring with the title, was doing what he did. He didn't want to wrestle....he wanted a brawl. He wanted to maim my main man. The man with the best raw talent that wrestling has ever seen. Not only is Smokin Vokoun the best street fighter in WWCF history, but he is soon gonna be the greatest wrestler. But your right Smokey, Aaron was able to get into your head and make you lose your cool. That's where I come in. You see...I'm not just the world's greatest Pro Wrestling Trainer....but I'm also a certified Psychologist. That's why I'm putting you into my own personal Psycho therapy program. This will make you a much more calm, serine and, more importantly, more focused.[/color]
Vokoun: How are you gonna do that, Lou?[/color]
Thesz III: Well.....I think it's better I explained that off camera....It's not technically.... legal[/color]
Vokoun:Hmmmm...welp....that hasn't stopped me before.[/color]
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Post by Connor Mackenzie on Dec 31, 2011 13:49:06 GMT -5
Connor Mackenzie......The Digital Dragon....
Allow me to introduce M'self, I'm Doctor Demento. Dementation, delusion and delirium are my claims to fame and hardcore chicanery is my stock in trade. The kindly folks at the Nut Ward allow me out each week to compete for the WWCF (assuming I don't escape first). They consider any damage I do to my opponents to be cathartic. Perhaps when I try to twist your spine like a pretzel it'll help me work through some deep seated emotional turmoil.....perhaps my desire to cause people so much pain masks my desire to REALLY cause people pain?
Or perhaps a suplex is just a suplex..... It would seem that the powers that be have found it a good time for you and I to meet Doc.
I think however that your dementia has you seeing things. The only twisting and cringing that will be occuring is when I knock you back to your senses with the BSOD. While you have been playing around with Ryan Blood playing hide and sneak and covering yourself in god knows what I've been consulting videos, youtube, anything I can get my hands on. You are wily, I'll give you that, and while you might think that you are some chaotic factor know that there is always a method to ones madness and I intend to exploit it when we meet in the ring.
Come Monday Demento, you will realize that you have entered the Year of the Dragon and it is not just part of the chinese calendar anymore. [/color]
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The Punisher
Unicron
"They don't fear the law. They fear me..."
Posts: 3,082
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Post by The Punisher on Dec 31, 2011 16:25:50 GMT -5
*Frank Castle sits on a dumpster outside a downtown nightclub. It is New Year's Eve. The party inside is in full swing. Castle sits impassively in silence. A group of men and women leave the club, laughing and joking.*
Frank Castle: When you're alone, New Year can be a horrible time. It can hurt, it can cause you immense pain, it can remind you not only of what you have achieved, but of the chances you missed, and the regrets you have.
*The group continue down the street, all drunk and celebrating. Castle follows.*
Castle: I regret so many things. I wish I could forget so many things. I wish, sometimes, I could blank my memory and become a completely different person. I wish I wasn't who I am.
*A young man and girl leave the main group. He tries to kiss her, she pushes him away playfully. The young man tries again.*
Castle: Some people don't realise what they have. Some people don't realise how lucky they are. Some people think they deserve everything for nothing.
*The girl pushes the man away. He gets angry, and shoves her into an alleyway*
Castle: I'm sick of people like that. I'm sick of people who think they own the world. I'm sick of people who think that they are right, and that they can treat others just how they want.
*Castle follows the man into the alley. The girl runs away. The sound of a fight can be heard, then an agonising scream, then, finally, silence.*
Castle: I'm through playing games. I'm through pretending. This year, 2012, is the year of The Punisher.
Everybody is going to pay.
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Viva
Dennis Stamp
THAT'S MY PURSE! *kick to the groin*
You can dance if you want to.
Posts: 4,099
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Post by Viva on Dec 31, 2011 20:36:14 GMT -5
Now I know why the suits decided it would be more appropriate to become half commissioner! I haven't had a god damn lick of time to myself since we started this crazy ride. Rest assured, though, you selfish son of a bitches. 2012 will be once again The Year of Viva. Not only do I make the decisions around here, but I own each and every one of you. And guess what? I'm going to toy with you people as I please.
I'm still the f***ing Champion of Honor, with a guaranteed retain in my back pocket. I'm surprised no one's worked to take my belt. I'll sit back and get reacquainted with regular competition while you losers sit on your hands when you could be coming for a belt. God, this federation makes me sick. I'm glad I finally hold the reigns to bring in an actual era of change around here. Disgusting.
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Gus Richlen Was Wrong
Patti Mayonnaise
Metal Maestro: Co-winner of the FAN Idol Throwdown!
Fun while it lasted
Posts: 38,480
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Post by Gus Richlen Was Wrong on Dec 31, 2011 20:58:33 GMT -5
Now I know why the suits decided it would be more appropriate to become half commissioner! I haven't had a god damn lick of time to myself since we started this crazy ride. Rest assured, though, you selfish son of a bitches. 2012 will be once again The Year of Viva. Not only do I make the decisions around here, but I own each and every one of you. And guess what? I'm going to toy with you people as I please.
I'm still the f***ing Champion of Honor, with a guaranteed retain in my back pocket. I'm surprised no one's worked to take my belt. I'll sit back and get reacquainted with regular competition while you losers sit on your hands when you could be coming for a belt. God, this federation makes me sick. I'm glad I finally hold the reigns to bring in an actual era of change around here. Disgusting. Well, maybe if you had stopped running away from facing me, I would've been setting my sights on becoming the first-ever repeat Champion Of Honor rather than trying to survive the King Of Wrestlecrap tournament. Of course, I win the tournament, maybe you'll stop running then. Maybe.
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Viva
Dennis Stamp
THAT'S MY PURSE! *kick to the groin*
You can dance if you want to.
Posts: 4,099
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Post by Viva on Dec 31, 2011 21:28:09 GMT -5
Now I know why the suits decided it would be more appropriate to become half commissioner! I haven't had a god damn lick of time to myself since we started this crazy ride. Rest assured, though, you selfish son of a bitches. 2012 will be once again The Year of Viva. Not only do I make the decisions around here, but I own each and every one of you. And guess what? I'm going to toy with you people as I please.
I'm still the f***ing Champion of Honor, with a guaranteed retain in my back pocket. I'm surprised no one's worked to take my belt. I'll sit back and get reacquainted with regular competition while you losers sit on your hands when you could be coming for a belt. God, this federation makes me sick. I'm glad I finally hold the reigns to bring in an actual era of change around here. Disgusting. Well, maybe if you had stopped running away from facing me, I would've been setting my sights on becoming the first-ever repeat Champion Of Honor rather than trying to survive the King Of Wrestlecrap tournament. Of course, I win the tournament, maybe you'll stop running then. Maybe. Running, man? RUNNING? You can't even secure the number one contendership, pal. I've given you chance after chance. I WANT TO HUMILIATE YOU. You can't even beat the scrubs that I make quick work of.
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