Dat Dude
Dennis Stamp
Wait, what?
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Post by Dat Dude on Apr 2, 2012 15:51:07 GMT -5
I know this could be a touchy subject, so I'll try to keep it civil. I just wanted to hear if you guys or girls had experiences where race played a factor in attraction, courtships, dating, or relationships in general.
Here's an example: I have a black father and a white mother, but I've always identified myself as black cause that's how society at large views me. I find black women most attractive, but I find women of all races attractive and would date a woman of any race. My best friend also has interracial parents, but he's more attracted to white women, but also would date women of any color.
Now, there have were a few of times where I've asked out a woman of a different race (white, asian) where she would admit to me she wasn't interested due to having no attraction to black men. Fair enough, attraction to the familiar is not puzzling. What is puzzling are the times I've asked out some sistas (very few, but not all) and they've said they'd only date white men and would never date a black guy.
I don't think these women are self-hating, I'm just confused on the aspect of generalizing your own people, cause not all brothers are the same. Honestly, I'd rather they'd not be attracted to me personally than to be closed minded to all brothers.
So have any of you dealt with stuff like this?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 15:55:56 GMT -5
Maybe they've been burned by black guys in the past and want to try something else?
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Post by Mattification on Apr 2, 2012 15:59:05 GMT -5
Maybe they didn't take kindly to being referred to as 'sistas'?
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Apr 2, 2012 16:00:19 GMT -5
Never had it happen to me. As for myself, I'm open to anyone of any race. If your good looking by my books(and I have a wide range in terms of what I call "good looking"), it doesn't matter what your skin color is.
I'm honestly more interested in if they have any common interests with me(ie, they like comics or anime or video games, etc) than their race.
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Dat Dude
Dennis Stamp
Wait, what?
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Post by Dat Dude on Apr 2, 2012 16:00:54 GMT -5
Maybe they've been burned by black guys in the past and want to try something else? I could understand that to a degree but applying that kind of logic to women of other races their bad experiences with men of the same race and it doesn't seem to occur. I've known plenty of white women, who've had bad experiences with men of the same race, but never thought "I should try dating black guys or latinos instead".
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 16:01:22 GMT -5
Also, maybe that was her attempt at being nice in rejecting you.
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mizerable
Fry's dog Seymour
You're the lowest on the totem pole here, Alva. The lowest.
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Post by mizerable on Apr 2, 2012 16:01:49 GMT -5
There's plenty of white women who date only black guys. And my ex from a little over a year ago was black and only dated white guys. She just preferred white guys and I never pressed her for any more reason than that. It's not a huge deal, a lot of people are like that. And to be honest, I wish I was...at least a little bit, since I tend to be in the mood for a blonde girl one day, an asian the next, then a black girl, a redhead...etc. etc. One of the reasons I'm not good at long term relationships.
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Dat Dude
Dennis Stamp
Wait, what?
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Post by Dat Dude on Apr 2, 2012 16:02:39 GMT -5
Maybe they didn't take kindly to being referred to as 'sistas'? Well A.) it's not a disrespectful term, it's actually the opposite. B.) Those times I didn't refereed to them as sista, but by name.
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Dat Dude
Dennis Stamp
Wait, what?
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Post by Dat Dude on Apr 2, 2012 16:06:04 GMT -5
Also, maybe that was her attempt at being nice in rejecting you. As I said before I'd preferred that they'd reject just me, but I seen them around town they were indeed with white dudes.
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mizerable
Fry's dog Seymour
You're the lowest on the totem pole here, Alva. The lowest.
Posts: 23,475
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Post by mizerable on Apr 2, 2012 16:06:55 GMT -5
A.) it's not a disrespectful term, it's actually the opposite. B.) Those times I didn't refereed to them as sista, but by name. It could be viewed as disrespectful by them...I mean it is directly pointing at their race. As far as attraction...it can't be explained. The same reason I'm attracted to women and not men...then from there it gets broken down by specifics. Some girls don't date guys unless they have a nice car. I hooked up with a girl one time and after she saw the car I drove, she wanted nothing to do with me. But here's the short answer: People are weird.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 16:24:33 GMT -5
Also, maybe that was her attempt at being nice in rejecting you. As I said before I'd preferred that they'd reject just me, but I seen them around town they were indeed with white dudes. Wait, so they were already dating someone else?
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Dat Dude
Dennis Stamp
Wait, what?
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Post by Dat Dude on Apr 2, 2012 16:28:04 GMT -5
As I said before I'd preferred that they'd reject just me, but I seen them around town they were indeed with white dudes. Wait, so they were already dating someone else? Not to my knowledge, nope. We had mutual acquaintances and they confirmed it, and later on (weeks) I saw them around town.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 16:31:02 GMT -5
Wait, so they were already dating someone else? Not to my knowledge, nope. We had mutual acquaintances and they confirmed it, and later on (weeks) I saw them around town. Sounds like they were already diggin' someone else and just wanted to let you down easy...in their eyes at least. Some women are so worried about being nice, they'd rather lie to try and not hurt your feelings rather than just come clean.
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Post by Alucard on Apr 2, 2012 16:33:31 GMT -5
I dunno man, I'm a giant of a 6'5" white dude. I've dated a lot girls my own race, but also about three black ones. They were all cool and sweet except for the first one...who, was and all, but she was a smidge crazy. Obviously in time I came to realize that had nothing to do with her race, some chicks (and some dudes too, not being a woman-hater) are just nuts. Dealt with a lot of ignorance from people about it, even people when we were out in public had an awful lot of nerve, but meh. The Deep South isn't known for tolerance at times.
Currently with a really sweet Hispanic girl, same age as me, dark hair, lotsa ink, really cute, she's good to me and her family love me as mine love her, lol, so it's all gravy really. Never dealt with any sort of people spouting off hatefulness at us or anything, but where I live now it's probably a much more common sight anyhow. Humorously, she had been burned by jerkass white dudes in the past so was hesitant about me, but things have obviously worked out well for both of us.
I dunno man. I believe most people are the sum of their life experiences. And some just like what they like. With my experiences I've learned younger white girls=bad news (18-20ish mind you BUT I know not all of them are like the worst experiences I had, at all) but sometimes if you set things aside and put things out of your mind, you can stumble into the right person for ya.
I don't even know if any of this was helpful.
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Dat Dude
Dennis Stamp
Wait, what?
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Post by Dat Dude on Apr 2, 2012 16:39:11 GMT -5
Not to my knowledge, nope. We had mutual acquaintances and they confirmed it, and later on (weeks) I saw them around town. Sounds like they were already diggin' someone else and just wanted to let you down easy...in their eyes at least. Some women are so worried about being nice, they'd rather lie to try and not hurt your feelings rather than just come clean. Possibly, but I was given that same line by two other women. It couldn't have been the same case every time. I know people have their preferences and stuff, but irks me to not just be rejected personally instead of rejecting my race, especially if it's someone of the same race.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2012 16:42:53 GMT -5
Sounds like they were already diggin' someone else and just wanted to let you down easy...in their eyes at least. Some women are so worried about being nice, they'd rather lie to try and not hurt your feelings rather than just come clean. Possibly, but I was given that same line by two other women. It couldn't have been the same case every time. I know people have their preferences and stuff, but irks me to not just be rejected personally instead of my race, especially if it's someone of the same race. That's a very strange occurance because in my experience black women usually want to only date black men. But that was back in college so maybe it was just a phase.
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Dat Dude
Dennis Stamp
Wait, what?
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Post by Dat Dude on Apr 2, 2012 16:45:14 GMT -5
Possibly, but I was given that same line by two other women. It couldn't have been the same case every time. I know people have their preferences and stuff, but irks me to not just be rejected personally instead of my race, especially if it's someone of the same race. That's a very strange occurance because in my experience black women usually want to only date black men. But that was back in college so maybe it was just a phase. Oh, I've seen a lot more of that as well too sadly.
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Post by rapidfire187 on Apr 2, 2012 18:37:23 GMT -5
I think that when someone is only attracted to one race, it's more to do with physical attractiveness than anything else. Personally, I'm open to all races though some seem to have more hot women than others. When I say "hot", I mean in my own opinion of course.
Oh and I have a female cousin who went black AND came back. You don't see that too often. Wait, that sounds like I'm saying black guys kill their white girlfriends. I just mean that she f***s whitey now.
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Mozenrath
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Speedy Speed Boy
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Post by Mozenrath on Apr 2, 2012 20:05:09 GMT -5
I dunno man, I'm a giant of a 6'5" white dude. I've dated a lot girls my own race, but also about three black ones. They were all cool and sweet except for the first one...who, was and all, but she was a smidge crazy. Obviously in time I came to realize that had nothing to do with her race, some chicks (and some dudes too, not being a woman-hater) are just nuts. Dealt with a lot of ignorance from people about it, even people when we were out in public had an awful lot of nerve, but meh. The Deep South isn't known for tolerance at times. Currently with a really sweet Hispanic girl, same age as me, dark hair, lotsa ink, really cute, she's good to me and her family love me as mine love her, lol, so it's all gravy really. Never dealt with any sort of people spouting off hatefulness at us or anything, but where I live now it's probably a much more common sight anyhow. Humorously, she had been burned by jerkass white dudes in the past so was hesitant about me, but things have obviously worked out well for both of us. I dunno man. I believe most people are the sum of their life experiences. And some just like what they like. With my experiences I've learned younger white girls=bad news (18-20ish mind you BUT I know not all of them are like the worst experiences I had, at all) but sometimes if you set things aside and put things out of your mind, you can stumble into the right person for ya. I don't even know if any of this was helpful. I can confirm this, and by this, that he is dating a Latina. That said, it could be any number of things, but sometimes it's not any more complicated than "the heart wants what the heart wants". You don't really get to pick who you attracted to.
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Post by Codebreaker on Apr 2, 2012 20:14:01 GMT -5
Now, there have were a few of times where I've asked out a woman of a different race (white, asian) where she would admit to me she wasn't interested due to having no attraction to black men. Fair enough, attraction to the familiar is not puzzling. What is puzzling are the times I've asked out some sistas (very few, but not all) and they've said they'd only date white men and would never date a black guy. Aren't these both essentially the same thing though, just reversed? Someone having a preference, or only being attracted to certain types of people?
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