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Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Mar 1, 2013 1:43:05 GMT -5
There was this crazy movie in the 80s about a group of Americans who go to Finland, get drunk, and sneak over to the Soviet Union for some laughs (yeah, hilarious). They get into a lot of trouble and at the end they are involved in a human chess game (or the one that survived). I swear this movie exists, though for years I thought it was a mushroom induced hallucination. Anyone know the name of it? Sounds interesting...
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Post by Alucard on Mar 1, 2013 1:57:15 GMT -5
I caught it about 3 in the morning. Great movie. So YOU'RE the other person!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2013 2:01:10 GMT -5
You know, all this talk about movies no one has watched before has got me thinking. We have a FAN film club thread on here that, more or less, dried up because Bob and I were basically the only one's hosting. So, how about it? Anybody want to join up and present movies?
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Post by Throwback on Mar 1, 2013 2:01:41 GMT -5
Island Of The Blue Dolphins
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nate5054
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Post by nate5054 on Mar 1, 2013 4:30:42 GMT -5
There was this crazy movie in the 80s about a group of Americans who go to Finland, get drunk, and sneak over to the Soviet Union for some laughs (yeah, hilarious). They get into a lot of trouble and at the end they are involved in a human chess game (or the one that survived). I swear this movie exists, though for years I thought it was a mushroom induced hallucination. Anyone know the name of it? Sounds interesting... Yeah, I did a search of it since I was curious as well (amazingly, human chess game is the term I think that gave it to me). It's called Born American www.imdb.com/title/tt0091313/And stars the son of Chuck Norris! There is a great review on the movie (other than the fact the reviewer didn't get the concept of paragraphs) in this spolier tag here. IIRC he's pretty spot on. I sorta want to see it now again, just to see how comically bad it was. {Spoiler} If I were to pick two words to describe this movie it would be unbelievable and unpredictable. Unpredictable because not a single moment of this movie could be foretold. And unbelievable because it has above a 4 rating on this website. This movie doesn't deserve the use of stars, it should be given its own rating system of awful, like a 5 rectum review or something. I mean this movie stinks up something awful, so awful I had no choice but to express my sincere concern that someone else might one day view this movie, or worse pay for it. Please dont... Renny (the brilliant director of other favorites such as Cutthroat Island and Driven) has presented something truly unique to the world of cinema this time however. No protagonists and no antagonists, at least no clear ones, any time we start to develop any kind of sympathy for a character he kills them! any time something happens in this movie it is wasted, unused, unexplained. Here this should sum up the movie: 3 kids go to Finland (for spring break i guess, it has become quite the hotspot) and within 2 minutes are driving to the north pole for no reason. We soon find out that 2 of these guys are your traditional jocks/heros and one is a worthless nerd. The jocks bring guns and a bow and arrow set while the nerd just has unbelievably nerdy things for a vacation like, a camera! and clothes! and food! Our "protagonists" pick on the one normal and decent character in this movie to the point where A) its unbelievable they would be friends let alone the best of friends and B) we hate the kid too. They then shoot a few things on the border of lapland and Russia (during the cold war mind you) and decide it would be best to cross the border with their weapons to "check it out,'" like the ground would be paved with gold and the streams would flow with vodka. They then forcefully kidnap a girl so they can tell her "not to be scared," I mean i fully thought they were gonna rape this girl, but it turns out they just wanted to ask some questions. The girl screams and as you would expect they are then captured by villagers and accused of murdering a small girl by an occultist/demon possessed priest (no explanation of course) who has brain washed a village... So our americans kill everyone... EVERYONE! The military shows up so they kill more. You may be thinking... Why is this guy giving away the whole movie. I'M NOT, THIS IS ALL IN THE FIRST 10 MINUTES!!!! we havent even gotten to the HUMAN CHESS MATCH where the opponents fight to the death (apparently remmy doesnt quite get the concept of chess, what if the pawn took the knight when the knight was taking the pawn? well thats giving this movie too much credit). I watch bad movies a lot. If you are looking for one you've found it. Its damned funny, and a wonderful example in what drugs you should never take when you are on a deadline to make a movie. Just please understand, in no way is this movie good. It couldnt be good if it tried, it breaks every rule of film, theater, story, human relation, history, etc. This movie just, sucks.
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Post by Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie on Mar 1, 2013 8:59:15 GMT -5
got another one
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Post by Throwback on Mar 1, 2013 10:06:29 GMT -5
A movie I want to call Karate Academy. It was about a bunch of high school/college aged kids got o a summer camp to learn Karate. Kind find any proof it existed.
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kidglov3s
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
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Post by kidglov3s on Mar 1, 2013 10:10:00 GMT -5
A movie I want to call Karate Academy. It was about a bunch of high school/college aged kids got o a summer camp to learn Karate. Kind find any proof it existed. Could it be Ninja Academy? I remember offering to give away my VHS of this a few years ago, and my offer being denied. While I'm on the subject, how about one of my all time favorite VHS only titles, Stand Alone starring Charles Durning. I don't wanna say it's on youtube, but...
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darthalexander
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Post by darthalexander on Mar 1, 2013 10:16:31 GMT -5
Oddballs. Meatballs knockoff from the mid-80s. Really corny, but for some reason i liked it. Saw that one as well. I thought it was pretty funny at the time. One great one I highly recommend but I don't think a lot of people here have seen is "Man Bites Dog":
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Post by Throwback on Mar 1, 2013 10:28:45 GMT -5
A movie I want to call Karate Academy. It was about a bunch of high school/college aged kids got o a summer camp to learn Karate. Kind find any proof it existed. Could it be Ninja Academy? I remember offering to give away my VHS of this a few years ago, and my offer being denied. Holy Poop. That's it. I had to fast forward to a certain scene to be sure. The paintball scene. Thanks.
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Post by Kash Flagg on Mar 1, 2013 11:33:56 GMT -5
Man Bites Dog is a damn fine movie.
How about The Experts? John Travolta (in his down period) and Arye Gross are kidnapped (unknowingly) and taken to Russia (disguised as a typical american town) to teach the people there (KGB agents) how to be "hip" like Americans.
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Post by Throwback on Mar 1, 2013 11:37:26 GMT -5
The Dog Who Stopped The War
I can only find clips from the french version on youtube.
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Post by Wolf Hurricane on Mar 1, 2013 13:33:02 GMT -5
Nothing To Lose, a '90s dumb comedy gem featuring Tim Robbins and Martin Lawrence. It's on YouTube. If you're a dude in your teens or 20s, go get some friends, some pizza and potentially your favorite tools for intoxication together and watch this flick. It's not smart or groundbreaking, but it's so, so funny. SAYO-f***IN'-NARA, PAL! Seriously, if you haven't seen Nothing to Lose, Netflix it or something. Actually, it tends to cycle on TNT and/or TBS every now and again. Same with Layer Cake. Seen Crazy as Hell too; needless to say, it was crazy as hell. Anyone seen or even heard of Happy Endings? Not the TV show, the fairly indie movie with Lisa Kudrow and Maggie Gyllenhaal. Also, And The Band Played On; caught it on LOGO a few years ago, it quickly became a favorite of mine.
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kidglov3s
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Post by kidglov3s on Mar 1, 2013 13:45:02 GMT -5
Speaking of Happy Endings, one of my favorite indie movies was playing the same time at the Michigan Theater in 2005, Me, You and Everyone We Know. Great movie. Not so great was The Safety of Objects, imo. I really loved Personal Velocity.
How about Twisted Sisters, SOV horror about identical twins, kinda like that Simpsons episode with Bart's twin.
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Post by Non Banjoble Tokens on Mar 1, 2013 17:04:41 GMT -5
Boris & Natashia: The Movie. Granted I only saw the end of it myself, but still. I watched this as a kid. I remember when I saw that Dave Thomas was in this movie, for some reason I thought it was the guy from Wendy's. I was a stupid kid. Big Man on Campus The Touch I watched Big Man On Campus as a kid too. It was the one with the hunchback, right? And I haven't actually seen The Touch yet, but it's on my DVR. I watched a few minutes of it one day and thought it looked pretty good. Not only have I seen this, I own it on DVD. ;D I know this movie quite well and I very much enjoyed it. Saw this one night on the Starz channels believe it or not, and it's another one that I really liked. Saw it, and it confused the hell out of me. Believe it or not, I actually own this on DVD, although I haven't actually watched it yet. And let me think for a minute as far as movies I have seen that no one else might have. Uh, how about a movie called The Zoo Gang? It's about these teenagers and they have to try and save their hangout or something, I really don't remember that much about it. And what about They Call Me Bruce, which is a martial arts comedy about a guy who keeps getting confused with Bruce Lee. Then maybe Adios Amigos, a western starring Richard Pryor. Another one I don't remember that much about excpet he was cheating at a cared game and they found out and he yelled, "Adios Amigos!" and then there was some cheesy song they played. I even tried to make a pretend sequel to it as a kid. I'm sure there are more to add, but this is all I can think of right now.
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Post by lildude8218 on Mar 2, 2013 0:16:50 GMT -5
I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With
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kidglov3s
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Post by kidglov3s on Mar 2, 2013 0:33:50 GMT -5
For all the talk of Judgment I really want to put in a good word for the three movies that precede it, Apocalypse, Revelation and Tribulation.
Apocalypse is SOV and really audacious at parts, particularly at the appropriation of real life riots, murders and human suffering in a montage of what is happening within the narrative of the movie at the hands of the one world government. I love the earnest theme song, "Caught in the Eye of the Storm", which is what the aforementioned montage is set to.
Of all of them, Revelation shines as being a legitimately solid movie. It has Jeff Fahey and Carol Alt in it. If you're like oh I only watch good movies, and you were going to watch one Cloud Ten Pictures production, this should be it.
Tribulation on the surface seems like the most interesting, with its cast of Howie Mandel, Margot Kidder and Gary Busey. However it's always played flat for me, and is my least favorite of the 4. All of them suffer from the problem of there not being a solid consistent narrative progression but this one feels the most symptomatic of that problem. That said I find the Apocalypse movies to be a lot more fun and more substantial than Cloud Ten's Left Behind films.
A pre-Trib series that better establishes this is A Thief in the Night-A Distant Thunder-Image of the Beast-The Prodigal Planet. I would put the first one above the others just on the basis of Larry Norman but they're all five stars.
Speaking of such films, no one should be deprived the experience that is "If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?", about the imminent communist invasion that will decimate 1960s America as Glorious Fidel will use candy to corrupt our children. "The Burning Hell" has more where that came from.
One group of films I feel has been lost to time are the documentaries from Sunn Classic Pictures. They're sorta available but there's not much popular awareness these days of stuff like Beyond and Back, The Lincoln Conspiracy, In Search of Noah's Ark, The Mysterious Monsters, The Outer Space Connection, or similar works like Chariots of the Gods, The Late Great Planet Earth. I can watch that shit forever, so cool.
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El Pollo Guerrera
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Post by El Pollo Guerrera on Mar 2, 2013 0:55:53 GMT -5
Island Of The Blue Dolphins I remember this. When I was in elementary school and there was a 'non-instructional' day, the teachers would take all the kids into the gym, turn off the lights and show a movie to the shcool. This was one of the few that I remember. Another one was "Bless the Beasts and Children". I managed to find a copy a few years ago and watched it again. Disturbing... I'm a little shocked that they decided to show it to a bunch of little kids, really.
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kidglov3s
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Post by kidglov3s on Mar 2, 2013 0:59:37 GMT -5
As soon, and I mean as soon, as the price on Bless the Beasts & Children drops to around $10 I'm totally gonna order it. It was released on Sony MOD last year. Same goes for another Stanley Kramer work from the era RPM, one of the student protest movies that I haven't seen.
Speaking of hippy movies with animals, anyone ever hear of or see Ring of Bright Water? MIJ!
And speaking of f***ing depressing movies, how about Kes? Though I guess that's probably more known about now with the Criterion release.
Any of ya see Joe? One of my favorites. "Hey Joe, don't it make ya wanna go to war... once more?"
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Vampiro138
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Post by Vampiro138 on Mar 2, 2013 1:16:22 GMT -5
theres a few, but im sure a few people here may have seen them...
Brain Donors - a Marx brother style film which is absolutely brilliant!
Skidoo - a weird film starring Jackie Gleason, also if im not mistaken was the last movie Groucho Marx did.
For Those Who Think Young - a beach movie that really doesnt take place on a beach that much, it has Paul Lynde in it.
One Crazy Summer - my favoirte summer movie, has John Cusack, Demi Moore, Joel Murray and Bobcat Goldthwait in it. its pretty damn funny!
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