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Post by DZ: WF Legacy on Oct 23, 2013 17:46:40 GMT -5
Sounds like she had something happen to her in the past that made her react in that way.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2013 17:53:53 GMT -5
...huh.
So that's why she never called me.
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Post by Red Impact on Oct 23, 2013 17:55:25 GMT -5
How did she overreact? She didn't know who this weird person she'd never met was, but she knew that she'd been watched before, and that the person knew where she lived, and she just wanted the police to be aware in case anything happened to her, and let's be quite honest, it does happen. If she hadn't done anything and it escalated, people would have said "Oh, well, she didn't complain when he started leaving notes, it's her fault, she was leading him on." She overreacted because he left a note and she got a police file started up on the guy. Unless that note contained a threat, then there's no justification to call the police just for being asked out. If you live in close proximity to other people, it comes with the basic knowledge that your neighbors are aware of your existence. "Oh, what if X happened" is pointless conjecture, there's no way of knowing that it would and 95 times out of 100, nothing does. Maybe Delta is right in that something happened to her in the past to make her more paranoid, but it's still being highly paranoid to react the way she did after 1 attempt to contact her. The rest is just crap. There's a difference in calling the police after being asked out and calling them after being harassed. The story doesn't make it out like she was harassed, it makes it out that a shy guy left a note on her car and she called the cops. |
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Post by "Cane Dewey" Johnson on Oct 23, 2013 18:19:34 GMT -5
Just because you find someone to be attractive does not mean that you have the right to tell this person as much (just because it makes YOU feel better to say it), let alone in such a creepy and awkward fashion. And the mansplaining of how this woman *ought* to have reacted evinced in this thread comes off as really problematic as well.
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Post by Red Impact on Oct 23, 2013 18:24:53 GMT -5
Just because you find someone to be attractive does not mean that you have the right to tell this person as much (just because it makes YOU feel better to say it), let alone in such a creepy and awkward fashion. And the mansplaining of how this woman *ought* to have reacted evinced in this thread comes off as really problematic as well. So you think asking someone out is a cop-worthy offense then? And yes, you do have the right to tell someone how you really feel. It's sort of in this big document that outlines the core principals that the country was founded on. People trying to tell others what they don't have a right to say is more problematic to me than people trying to say she overreacted by calling the cops on someone who asked her out. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2013 18:29:37 GMT -5
She was afraid that if the police contacted him he would become angry or violent despite having no idea who he is? That is definitely a rational and logical assumption.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2013 18:30:21 GMT -5
Look - she was just playing it safe guys. She didn't press charges or get a restraining order or anything crazy like that.
She got a note from a stranger in her building, told the police she wants it on file that this person tried to contact her and then left it at that.
If she wanted him arrested or something like that, then yeah - that's an over reaction.
Just wanting the police to keep a record of this occurrance is not only appropriate for the situation, but smart should something happen and the law needs to get involved.
If I were a woman, I'd do the same thing. Heck, the same thing happened to my girlfriend a few months ago. Some random dude in our building left a note on her car in the parking garage with his number (no name though) and I told her she should let the police know this happened just in case.
It doesn't ruin anyone's life/reputaion/etc - its just keeping a record in case of whatever.
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FinalGwen
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
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Post by FinalGwen on Oct 23, 2013 18:35:26 GMT -5
Just because you find someone to be attractive does not mean that you have the right to tell this person as much (just because it makes YOU feel better to say it), let alone in such a creepy and awkward fashion. And the mansplaining of how this woman *ought* to have reacted evinced in this thread comes off as really problematic as well. So you think asking someone out is a cop-worthy offense then? And yes, you do have the right to tell someone how you really feel. It's sort of in this big document that outlines the core principals that the country was founded on. People trying to tell others what they don't have a right to say is more problematic to me than people trying to say she overreacted by calling the cops on someone who asked her out. I hope it's not too close to the topic of politics to say that your understand of what "freedom of speech" entails is vastly different to the actual meaning of the term and what's protected under your laws. You're free to say anything, but it doesn't free you from any/all consequences for anything you say. It's specifically about speech not being censored by the US government. This speech is not being restricted by any government, it's a woman saying that she felt iffy about the situation (which is very logical) and making sure the police knew about it just in case she becomes one of the many, many, many cases where it turns out horrifically. |
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Post by Red Impact on Oct 23, 2013 18:45:50 GMT -5
Look - she was just playing it safe guys. She didn't press charges or get a restraining order or anything crazy like that. She got a note from a stranger in her building, told the police she wants it on file that this person tried to contact her and then left it at that. If she wanted him arrested or something like that, then yeah - that's an over reaction. Just wanting the police to keep a record of this occurrance is not only appropriate for the situation, but smart should something happen and the law needs to get involved. If I were a woman, I'd do the same thing. Heck, the same thing happened to my girlfriend a few months ago. Some random dude in our building left a note on her car in the parking garage with his number (no name though) and I told her she should let the police know this happened just in case. It doesn't ruin anyone's life/reputaion/etc - its just keeping a record in case of whatever. It may not ruin his life, but she still got a file on the guy and got it in there that she thinks he might be violent. That is the sort of thing that could come back against him, even for innocuous reasons. Is it likely? About as likely a him turning out to be a murderous psychopath stalker. And if you want to keep a record, you can keep a record without the police, and if at any point he keeps trying to contact her after she doesn't respond, then you still have the option to call the police. It doesn't have to be first contact, you can show a little more faith in people than to think that everyone is a murderous psychopath waiting for an excuse to break in and stab you. The only real point here is that there's playing it safe and there's being overly paranoid. You can say he went about it the wrong way, but that's nothing to go to the police over. When you live around people, you should do so with the knowledge that people you don't know might try to talk to you at some point. |
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Sparkybob
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Post by Sparkybob on Oct 23, 2013 18:46:12 GMT -5
So you think asking someone out is a cop-worthy offense then? And yes, you do have the right to tell someone how you really feel. It's sort of in this big document that outlines the core principals that the country was founded on. People trying to tell others what they don't have a right to say is more problematic to me than people trying to say she overreacted by calling the cops on someone who asked her out. I hope it's not too close to the topic of politics to say that your understand of what "freedom of speech" entails is vastly different to the actual meaning of the term and what's protected under your laws. You're free to say anything, but it doesn't free you from any/all consequences for anything you say. It's specifically about speech not being censored by the US government. This speech is not being restricted by any government, it's a woman saying that she felt iffy about the situation (which is very logical) and making sure the police knew about it just in case she becomes one of the many, many, many cases where it turns out horrifically. You are kinda not addressing his point. He's not saying that there won't be consequences for what is said, but you do have a right to say how you feel. I have the right to tell my teacher that she is an idiot but that doesn't mean I won't suffer any consequences. It just means I have the right to express my opinion in this country. Of course you can abuse those rights and get in trouble, but it's still a right of freedom. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2013 18:46:39 GMT -5
Ah but see, it's the ones not leaving notes you should really concern yourself with.
The guy you don't know yet always seem to "bump into." The one that knows you get home from work no earlier than 4:12 and no later than 4:18 except on Thursdays when he overheard you say one time is when you buy groceries. (which he has personally confirmed to be accurate) The one that wants to love and then scalp you because you're pretty, like his Mom; the one that used to beat him with tree branches.
Both sides of this thing could potentially be correct.
What's this note? What's it say? How does it come across? In addition to recieving it, has she noticed this guy around beyond that which could be considered a coincidental amount of times? Does he leer?
Failing that, he could simply be some awkward little dude trying to pour his heart out to this woman.
You shut down all awkward romantic advances and our society is sure to perish.
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FinalGwen
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
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Post by FinalGwen on Oct 23, 2013 18:51:12 GMT -5
You are kinda not addressing his point. He's not saying that there won't be consequences for what is said, but you do have a right to say how you feel. I have the right to tell my teacher that she is an idiot but that doesn't mean I won't suffer any consequences. It just means I have the right to express my opinion in this country. Of course you can abuse those rights and get in trouble, but it's still a right of freedom. I'm refuting the point pretty directly.  What I'm saying is that entire paragraph was pointless. It's talking about a document that has no application in this situation. |
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Push R Truth
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Post by Push R Truth on Oct 23, 2013 18:53:39 GMT -5
Whatever happened to flashing strangers and asking the least terrified ones to dinner?
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Post by Red Impact on Oct 23, 2013 18:53:55 GMT -5
So you think asking someone out is a cop-worthy offense then? And yes, you do have the right to tell someone how you really feel. It's sort of in this big document that outlines the core principals that the country was founded on. People trying to tell others what they don't have a right to say is more problematic to me than people trying to say she overreacted by calling the cops on someone who asked her out. I hope it's not too close to the topic of politics to say that your understand of what "freedom of speech" entails is vastly different to the actual meaning of the term and what's protected under your laws. You're free to say anything, but it doesn't free you from any/all consequences for anything you say. It's specifically about speech not being censored by the US government. This speech is not being restricted by any government, it's a woman saying that she felt iffy about the situation (which is very logical) and making sure the police knew about it just in case she becomes one of the many, many, many cases where it turns out horrifically. Actually, I know the law pretty well, being a former journalist. What you're saying makes sense to a degree, but is actually a fairly common misconception. To have repercussions, you actually have to cause damage with your speech. You don't have the right to get someone arrested solely because you don't like what they said. It's not just congress, it's government at all levels (state and federal thanks to constitutional amendments), and that includes the ability of people to use the police. You don't have the right to cause riots, you don't have the right to try to injure someone by lying about them, but you do have the right to try to talk to a stranger. And it goes back to what I responded to, the notion that people don't have the right to tell someone how they really feel. They do, it's just incorrect and insulting to say otherwise. The only way that a private individual would be able to strip someone's right to say something to them is to use the police, and the police, being part of the government, are only allowed to do so under a strict set of circumstances. As far as the "many, many, many cases" it's a ridiculous assumption to make that just because someone you don't know tried to contact you that they are violent, which is what the woman did. This happens far more rarely than the opposite, that people who are turned down aren't psychopaths. If she wanted to keep a record, there are other ways to go about it. |
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Post by Cela on Oct 23, 2013 18:56:08 GMT -5
Man wants to meet Woman, man leaves note trying to meet Woman, Woman calls cops because she'd never met Man. Yeah... makes sense.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2013 19:07:31 GMT -5
Seems sufficiently creepy to me.
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Post by Michael Coello on Oct 23, 2013 19:08:14 GMT -5
Just because you find someone to be attractive does not mean that you have the right to tell this person as much (just because it makes YOU feel better to say it), let alone in such a creepy and awkward fashion. And the mansplaining of how this woman *ought* to have reacted evinced in this thread comes off as really problematic as well. Avoiding the use of mansplaining (ugh! Keep that s** on tumblr.), there is no other way that she could have reacted worse in this situation other than possibly hunting him down and murdering him. If you get a note, man or woman, that tells you that someone who was a recent arrival in the building happened to notice you and wanted to meet up and thought you looked cute, and left their number and name and info on a note on your car. How do you handle this? A) Ignore it. B) Contact said person, and in the process of conversing, either politely refuse or converse to meet (Again, why assume he's a creep?) C) Talk to any people you know on the building, or the super, and discuss the incident D) Leave a note back on the door of the person, tit for tat. E) Move your car? What you DON'T DO is call the police and threaten to arrest someone if they do this to you again. |
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm on Oct 23, 2013 19:12:14 GMT -5
This is the modern world, people. Everyone is a potential stalker/rapist/pedophile/kidnapper/serial killer. Or at least that's what the media wants you to think...
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Post by xCompackx on Oct 23, 2013 19:41:01 GMT -5
Would it have been any better if he found her Facebook profile or something and sent her a message saying the same thing? It seems pretty harmless.
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Goldenbane
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Post by Goldenbane on Oct 23, 2013 19:43:24 GMT -5
This is the modern world, people. Everyone is a potential stalker/rapist/pedophile/kidnapper/serial killer. Or at least that's what the media wants you to think... Yeah, I kinda think the term "STALKER" is thrown out way too fast, way too much, and way too easily these days. |
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What I'm saying is that entire paragraph was pointless. It's talking about a document that has no application in this situation. 
