JerryArr: Hat!
Mephisto
That which does not kill me makes me stranger.
Posts: 679
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Post by JerryArr: Hat! on May 6, 2006 18:20:14 GMT -5
When Samoa Joe drives up to a stop sign, it turns green and says "GO".
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bigHEADinc
El Dandy
Wanted Conway Twitty as a special title.
lest we forget...
Posts: 7,711
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Post by bigHEADinc on May 6, 2006 19:40:04 GMT -5
In a recent interview with Hulk Hogan, he made reference to giving a Flipping Double Chokeslam Moonsault to Andre The 900 foot tall, sixteen thousand ton Andre The Giant in front of the entire population of the Universe. He also made mention of creating wrestling as a whole, as it did not exist before him. How Brooke has sold 50 billion albums worldwide and how he actually created the internet. When asked if he had ever faced and beaten Samoa Joe, Hogan immediately said, "No... I don't think I could ever beat Samoa Joe." ... it was the only answer he could give. just wanted to say that this one was amazing...
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Post by Mayonnaise on May 6, 2006 19:47:27 GMT -5
Samoa Joe beat the Sun in a staring contest.
If you get Ole kicked in the face by Samoa Joe in your dream, you DIE!
Samoa Joe can have his cake AND eat it too.
P is for Samoa Joe, as is every other letter of the alphabet.
Samoa Joe puts the FUN in Funeral.
Samoa Joe's paradise is war.
Samoa Joe is capable of photosynthesis.
Samoa Joe has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.
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flea
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 5,131
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Post by flea on May 7, 2006 10:27:29 GMT -5
Every Santa Clause in every mall in the world are Samoa Joe's sons. They all happen to be fraternal twins.
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Post by HMARK Center on May 9, 2006 5:17:48 GMT -5
Ok, I've been up all night, largely due to allergies, as well as a final I have at 8am.
While up, I had Adult Swim on; they run their own shows until 5:30am, at which point, they like to show an old, obscure Hanna-Barbera show, which varies every few months.
Well, this time around, they're showing "Chuck Norris: Karate Commandos", the infamous 1980's Chuck Norris cartoon show.
For some reason (likely a growing insanity over not being able to breath oxygen while studying science), I've decided that I want to see a small Photoshop battle here: somebody with some level of skill take the old Mortal Kombat "Select Fighter" screen (I say from either MK 1 or MK 2), and fill it up with the greatest warrios the world knows, the true definitions of "manlieness". The men who eat lightning and @#$% thunder, who don't take no guff from no one, who like their women fast, easy, and by the dozens.
I submit to you:
-Samoa Joe -Chuck Norris -Mr. T -Vin Deisel -Bruce Lee -Jack Bauer (24) -Clint Eastwood -Bruce Leroy and/or Sho' Nuff -Harrison Ford -Sean Connery -Samuel L. Jackson (preferrably as Jules Winfield) -Bob Saget
...ok, maybe not Saget. But you get the point. And feel free to add whomever you see fit to.
Now, appease me in my deliriously exhausted state!
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Post by Z-A Sandbaggin' Son of a b!%@h on May 9, 2006 8:16:10 GMT -5
What about this Hmark Not the best but meh. EDIT: IT took me a while to do it, because Samao Joe's image refused to shrink to the size of the other pictures, therefore it is slightly larger, (see greater) than the other fighters.
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Post by HMARK Center on May 9, 2006 8:49:18 GMT -5
I'd call that "getting off on the right foot", and a potential future sig.
I applaud you, sir.
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Post by HMARK Center on May 9, 2006 12:51:13 GMT -5
Btw, I'm adding Reginald Phil-Aimes to my list of "manliest men who've ever manned."
Sorry, non video gamers who won't know who I'm talking about.
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EvilMasterBetty, Esq.
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Bird...Birdie...birdie......Tiger...Tiger Tiger.....
R2C2 Reporting for duty
Posts: 17,355
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Post by EvilMasterBetty, Esq. on May 9, 2006 12:57:00 GMT -5
Reggie definately belongs in the "Chuck Norris" category of men.
One time Reggie sneezed and it caused every single PS2 in the world to have a Disc Read Error. You don't want to know what happens when he takes a dump.
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Post by The King of Memphis Tennessee on May 9, 2006 17:24:19 GMT -5
Every time a bell rings, an Angel gets it's wings...
... torn off by Samoa Joe.
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Post by HMARK Center on May 9, 2006 18:32:38 GMT -5
Every time a bell rings, an Angel gets it's wings... ... torn off by Samoa Joe. Exactly. Where do you think Chris Daniels got his nickname?
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Post by Mayonnaise on May 9, 2006 20:39:54 GMT -5
I have been slacking. Forgive me Samoa Joe. So, he are a few.
Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Joe killed that given day.
Joe once ole kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Crop circles are Joe's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
When Joe sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Joe has not had to pay taxes, ever.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Joe out. It failed miserably.
Joe once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
What was going through the minds of all of Joe's victims before they died? His fist.
Police label anyone attacking Joe as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Joe doesn't buy butter, he likes fresh but, he also doesn't churn butter. He Ole kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Joe and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Samoa Joe can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
Joe once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Samoa Joe re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
Samoa Joe discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Joe is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Samoa Joe Ole-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
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flea
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 5,131
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Post by flea on May 9, 2006 20:46:11 GMT -5
Samoa Joe types at 24912432 words a minute.
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Post by Z-A Sandbaggin' Son of a b!%@h on May 9, 2006 21:32:30 GMT -5
Crop circles are Joe's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down. A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Joe and that you will be handicapped if you park there. Samoa Joe can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?" Joe once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Samoa Joe re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer. Ok...now those were funny... especially the first one
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Post by Mayonnaise on May 10, 2006 0:10:05 GMT -5
Crop circles are Joe's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down. A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Joe and that you will be handicapped if you park there. Samoa Joe can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?" Joe once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Samoa Joe re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer. Ok...now those were funny... especially the first one Thank you, the third of those is my personal fav.
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flea
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 5,131
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Post by flea on May 10, 2006 6:29:30 GMT -5
Samoa Joe's semen was used for the slime on Nickelodeon's You Can't Do That on Television.
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Post by LARIATOOO! on May 14, 2006 15:44:10 GMT -5
Samoa Joe challenged the sun to a staring contest 20 years later the sun gave up this is widly known as the solar eclipse.
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Post by Mayonnaise on May 14, 2006 15:56:19 GMT -5
Samoa Joe invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
Samoa Joe can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Samoa Joe allows to live.
If you spell Samoa Joe in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Samoa Joe once and he will Ole Kick you in the face.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Samoa Joe played in second grade.
Samoa Joe is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will Ole-kick you in the face.
Joe doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
And finally, the one that will send me to the 7th layer of Hell (I was already going, this just made it worse)...
Samoa Joe once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Joe won by 5.
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Post by LARIATOOO! on May 14, 2006 16:04:15 GMT -5
Samoa Joe invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear. Samoa Joe can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Samoa Joe allows to live. If you spell Samoa Joe in Scrabble, you win. Forever. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Samoa Joe once and he will Ole Kick you in the face. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Samoa Joe played in second grade. Samoa Joe is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will Ole-kick you in the face. Joe doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths. And finally, the one that will send me to the 7th layer of Hell (I was already going, this just made it worse)... Samoa Joe once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Joe won by 5. meh I've done that before if you count forfeits.
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Post by HMARK Center on May 14, 2006 17:12:04 GMT -5
Wore my What Would Samoa Joe Do? shirt to the ROH show last night.
Bouncer dug it.
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