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Post by HMARK Center on Nov 2, 2006 1:48:55 GMT -5
Samoa Joe hears the Call of Cthulhu...and tells Cthulhu to "Shut the @#$% up."
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KLRA
El Dandy
Halt. I am Reptar.
Posts: 7,591
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Post by KLRA on Nov 2, 2006 4:50:29 GMT -5
Ever wonder what happened to that one guy from Milli Vanilli? Joe found out that he didn't really sing the music...and the rest is history.
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bemanidog
Tommy Wiseau
I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Posts: 94
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Post by bemanidog on Nov 2, 2006 8:51:36 GMT -5
Joe's urine consists of 2 parts mountain dew and 3 parts penicillin. His spit can peel the paint off of cars. Don't even ask about his semen......... See the waitress he had sex with before polishing off those steaks earlier. They used a condom, the sponge, and she was on the pill. She still got pregnant with nonuplets. They all ole-kicked through her stomach to get out.
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hollywood
King Koopa
the bullet dodger
The Green Arrow has approved this post.
Posts: 11,122
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Post by hollywood on Nov 2, 2006 10:54:41 GMT -5
This has probably already been posted but...
Joe has the ability to instantly give a woman an orgasm by simply pointing his finger and saying, "BOO-YAH!"
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bigHEADinc
El Dandy
Wanted Conway Twitty as a special title.
lest we forget...
Posts: 7,711
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Post by bigHEADinc on Nov 2, 2006 11:02:08 GMT -5
D-Ray 3000 used to be a burgeoning young talent in TNA...
Then Joe had lunch...
EDIT: Just wanted to say that it's crazy that it's been almost a year since this thread started... We gotta get to the one year anniversary (12/19/2006)...
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Post by HMARK Center on Nov 2, 2006 11:54:29 GMT -5
Karl Marx developed the theory of Socialism/Communism upon watching Samoa Joe devour a steel mill...no, not the people in it, an actual steel mill.
In his Manifesto, Marx simply changed "Samoa Joe" to "The Revolution."
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Post by Tea & Crumpets on Nov 2, 2006 14:04:51 GMT -5
The reason Hitler commited suicide- he found out Samoa Joe had just joined the war.
The name 'nuclear bomb' is in fact a code name for Samoa Joe- Joe was once dropped from a plane and landed in the middle of a battlefield. The resulting carnage he caused was then later labelled as the effects of a bomb, to hide Joe's true strength.
The Bubonic Plague is also an incorrectly named account of actions by Samoa Joe- he used his almighty powers to travel back in time, but got pissed off when they didn't give him free food and all the women he wanted because they didn't know who he was. As such he killed thousands, and the incident was renamed the Bubonic Plague. Same with The Black Death.
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bigHEADinc
El Dandy
Wanted Conway Twitty as a special title.
lest we forget...
Posts: 7,711
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Post by bigHEADinc on Nov 3, 2006 12:07:04 GMT -5
Joe has already died several times over his life... Problem is, both God and Satan fear him...
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Post by Timmy8271 on Nov 3, 2006 13:31:20 GMT -5
Samoa Joe invented Hulkamania after screwing Linda Hogan.
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Post by shemmy86 on Nov 3, 2006 19:25:02 GMT -5
Normal people consider walking on a hot bed of coals or sleeping on a bed of nails a superhuman task. To Somoa Joe this is a average Thursday.
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Post by HMARK Center on Nov 4, 2006 3:26:27 GMT -5
One day whilst wandering through southern California, Samoa Joe tipped over a truck filled with fine Russian vodka, drinking everything inside. He then leisurely jogged, backwards, from Venice Beach to Manhattan, in just enough time to win the New York City Marathon, which had begun a mere seventeen minutes earlier.
Asked what effect the vodka had on his performance, Joe simply let loose a burp powerful enough to melt the skin off of men, and clothing off of women. Needless to say, Joe felt no need to claim any other prizes for his efforts.
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Post by veggietale on Nov 4, 2006 13:38:38 GMT -5
Ok, I came across this thread at the ROH boards: www.rohwrestling.com/MessageBoard/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=18974Basically, the thread is a ripoff of the internet games where they make random "facts" about Chuck Norris or Vin Diesel. For those not in the know, they're typically "facts" that explain how these men have managed to become gods in the sights of mere mortals, and details their abilities to do things such as cause hurricanes, level cities, and impregnate thousands of women with a mere thought. I just thought the mental images in the Joe thread were funny enough to share; if you don't feel like clicking the link, here's the list the guy does in the first post: Now, I must insist: if you have your own, about any wrestler, SHARE AWAY. the only person chuck norris fears is samoa joe.the only person samoa joe fears is chuck norris.
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Post by shemmy86 on Nov 4, 2006 13:55:39 GMT -5
Samoa Joe took a trip down to Mexico and was taking a swim in their local waters and nature called and Joe answered. The result was Montezuma's revenge.
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Post by odanobunaga on Nov 4, 2006 13:59:07 GMT -5
Lu Bu is how the Chinese call the Samoa Joe.
Once a wise man said "We live in favor of the end". He means that Samoa Joe is going to kill you!
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Post by Tea & Crumpets on Nov 4, 2006 14:56:57 GMT -5
One day when Joe met a hot woman, he demanded sex from her. She answered 'no', and the resulting bloodshed that followed has been interpreted in many ways over the years- through the stories of Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger and Hannibal Lecter. In truth all 4 are different aspects of Joe's psyche that manifested themselves during the incident.
Joe once visited Japan. he went by boat but felt he was overcharged on arrival. The events resulting from this were then retold in the classic story of Godzilla.
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Post by shemmy86 on Nov 4, 2006 15:08:51 GMT -5
All extinct species were made extinct by Samoa Joe, Charles Darwin observed this and called it evolution.
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Post by HMARK Center on Nov 5, 2006 0:33:44 GMT -5
At tonight's ROH show, Joe slapped KENTA so hard, it traveled haflway around the world and completely healed Kenta Kobashi of any cancerous residue.
Asked if he meant to do this, Joe replied "Nothing kills him but me."
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Post by G✇JI☈A on Nov 5, 2006 2:11:11 GMT -5
Samoa Joe got around the Top Gear test track with a 1982 Mazda 626 in under a minute.
Even more amazing he was not even driving it. He was carry it on his shoulders and ran around the track.
When Jeremy Clarkson refused to chart his time on the board cause the car had to be driven. Joe respond by eating Clarkson's Ford GT.
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Post by Timmy8271 on Nov 5, 2006 5:16:27 GMT -5
Samoa Joe could have saved Owen Hart from dying but he was too busy banging Tammy Sytch in her Sunny days for Crack money payback.
Everytime Samoa Joe wins is a day that Dennis Stamp doesn't get booked.
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Post by Allison Reynolds on Nov 5, 2006 9:26:44 GMT -5
x1.25 the # of thread pages allowed. Start a new one if you guys want.
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