Waffel113
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Ain't no Rap Mobile with his Waffels
Posts: 19,020
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Post by Waffel113 on Jul 26, 2015 19:14:56 GMT -5
Dolph Ziggler grabs Young, going for a swinging neckbreaker, but as he does, Young counters turning it into a full-nelson facebuster! Both men lay prone on the mat, starting to rise back to their feet. Once they do they start exchanging forearms, Darren getting the advantage as he takes over, backing Dolph into the ropes and whipping him off, catching him as he comes back with an overhead belly to belly!
Dolph staggers to his feet and right into a dropkick for good measure taking him down once more. He grabs him as he rises, dropping him a DDT before climbing atop, hooking the leg.
1!
2!
Dolph kicks out. Darren grabs him as he rises, going for a suplex, but Dolph blocks it, countering with a suplex of his own! He floats over, getting back to his feet and dropping a series of elbows, eventually leaping up and driving a fifth down into Young's sternum! He hooks the leg.
1!
2!
Young kicks out. Dolph drags him back to his feet and lifts him up, driving him back-first into the corner. He starts stomping at Young's abdomen, showing no mercy as he drives those feet into him again and again. HE backs off as Darren fights to his feet, crushing him in the corner with a Stinger Splash! Young falls forward as Dolph hooks the leg!
1!
2!
Darren kicks out. Dolph pounds the mat in frustration, grabbing him as he rises and planting him with an Inverted Scoop Powerslam! He once again rolls him over, making another pin attempt!
1!
2!
Young kicks out. Dolph reaches down to pick him up only to get a foot to the face. Young follows this up with an Enziguri, taking Dolph down once more! He grabs at his ribs, taking a few breaths before making a pin attempt himself.
1!
2!
Dolph kicks out! Young leaps up, delivering a leg drop across the throat. Ziggler grabs at the area in pain, fighting back to his feet and right into a Discus Forearm Smash, taking him off-balance once more! He waits for Dolph to rise, motioning forward and soon pulling him in as he rises for the Bonecrusher Powerslam, but Dolph slips behind, looking for the Name Dropper!
Darren drops down to a knee as Dolph cranks away at the throat, legs cinching tight and squeezing around that abdomen as well. He struggles back up, gasping for breath all the while before reaching back, managing to throw him off only for Ziggler to grab him on the way down, hitting him with a cutter! Both men now lay prone on the mat as Dolph rolls over, draping an arm across his opponent's chest.
1!
2!
Darren gets the shoulder up! Dolph slowly sits up, grabbing at his head in frustration. He slowly gets to his feet, waiting for Young to rise and charging in, going for the Fameasser! But Darren catches him in mid-move, turning it into the Bonecrusher Powerslam! Ziggler crashes to the mat as Young rolls atop, hooking the leg.
1!
2!
2.9!
Dolph gets his foot on the bottom rope, the crowd booing. Darren looks a little annoyed at this himself. He pushes back to his feet, looking to the top rope this time. He ascends to the top turnbuckle, leaping off for the South Beach Silencer!
But Dolph rolls out of the way at the last second, then locking Young into a crucifix pin out of desperation!
1!
2!
2.9!
Darren just barely kicks out. Ziggler looks particularly pissed off at this, practically throwing a tantrum in the ring as he pounds the mat. He waits for Young to rise, slapping his thigh as he readies something for him. He leaps in with a Superkick, but Young pulls him in by the leg, going for a second Bonecrusher. But Dolph fights free, turning it into a Fameasser! Young crashes to the mat as Dolph leaps atop, hooking both legs this time!
1!
2!
2.9!
Young kicks out! Dolph grows even more frustrated, shaking his head back and forth. He yanks Young back to his feet, leaping up and going for the Zig-Zag, but Darren grabs the top rope, blocking the move! He then rolls forward with a surprise jackknife pin, turning the tables!
1!
2!
Dolph kicks free! Both men rise back to their feet, facing off with each other as things come to a standstill. Once again they start exchanging forearms, neither man showing any sign of give.
Eventually Young rears back though, nailing Dolph with another discus forearm that knocks him for a loop! He pulls him forward, driving him down with one final Bonecrusher Powerslam! Darren rolls back atop, hooking the leg.
1!
2!
3!
Here is your winner, Darren Young!
And Darren Young has done it! Tonight he has gone out there and beaten one of the best in Dolph Ziggler and proved that he belongs here in the WWE! And what's more, proved that WWE is superior to the single entity that is Evolution! I'll give the man credit. He went out there and did what he said he was going to do. It wasn't easy, and it came way too close at times, but in the end he backed up what he said. Unfortunately... I have to admire that about him.
Darren celebrates his victory in the ring, looking absolutely ecstatic. Dolph slowly rises to his feet, shaking his head. The two men lock eyes once more as time seems to stand still. After a few moments Young reaches out, extending an arm for a handshake. Dolph looks back at him, hesitating for a moment. He shakes his head... before shaking hands with Young. The crowd cheers this as Young holds Ziggler's arm up in celebration as well.
Ziggler eventually breaks free, taking one last look at Young before exiting the ring, reluctantly leaving him to soak in the spotlight as he continues to do just that, celebrating all the more.
A surprising show of respect there by Dolph. I guess he was just trying to save face, at least in his own mind. Still he has nothing to be ashamed of here tonight. Yeah... honestly I didn't expect to see that from Dolph. Maybe now he'll leave this company a little more humble from here on out. But as for tonight it's the WWE and Darren Young who get to celebrate.
Darren slides out of the ring and celebrates amongst the fans all the more, the shot eventually fading.
We go backstage to Damien Sandow, sitting in the old Enlightenment locker-room, filled with bookshelves, comfy leather chairs, and other such things.
Ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you to the end of all things. Yes, it's quite unfortunate for some people, the wrestling Goliath known as the WWE has finally collapsed under the weight of its own ineptitude and poor business decisions. It's been cancelled, folks, and no network wants to touch it with a ten foot pole - and I know why. It's because they refused to feature me prominently! The fans, you people, were craving more of me, but the brass could not see that. They gave title opportunities and air-time to lesser men, content to let the people's champion waste away in obscurity. It all began, I say, when that harpy Stephanie McMahon so unfairly placed myself and Ryan Nemeth in a gauntlet match. Well, Steph: Who's got the last laugh now? I'm standing here on the precipice of glory, while your family fortune is about to down in flames!
Most people here are going to be jobless after this, and I pity them, I really do. I pity them because they are so lacking in any skills in life that the only possible way for them to make money is the basic thuggery known as wrestling! It shall not be long before you see the likes of Bryan Danielson and Dean Ambrose bleeding themselves dry for five bucks in a gym hall. I feel like I just experienced deja vu, but I digress. El Generico is another man who will be nothing without this federation. He crawled up from less than nothing in Mexico to become WWE Champion, but once he loses that, what is he? He isn't an educated man, my friends, he isn't someone who'll find gainful employment outside of the WWE. No, for El Generico, I see a rather bleak future. One of painkiller addiction and wrestling addiction. I firmly believe he'll still be bleeding all over the place at sixty three, like a masked Terry Funk.
"But Damien," you say "aren't you a wrestler too? What's to stop you being what they'll be?" Well, you ignorant fool, I do this as a hobby, not a job. I'm a renaissance man - if I wasn't having quite a great deal of fun knocking out the unwashed masses, well, I'd be writing books, or designing new instruments or technology. I can do whatever I put my mind too, because I am, indeed, that damn good. And tonight, I'm putting my mind to winning the WWE world heavyweight championship.
Everything I have done since I entered this sordid company has been to secure my place as the undisputed greatest of all time. I went after Kevin Nash to show I could hang with the so-called "legends" of this business, and I could! Kevin Nash was naught but an oversized punching bag for me. After Ryan Nemeth and I drafted each other in that tag team tournament, I formed the Enlightenment to get an ally in this business and to show everyone how good I was. Of course, that didn't work very well until after I returned from injury, when we dominated the False Sikh Raj Dhesi and his overgrown wench of a partner, and when we dominated the entire tag team division after that! When I turned on Ryan Nemeth at Survivor Series last year, that was to prove that I would not allow a fluke win over me to go unanswered! When I went after Kevin Steen, it was to put my name back on the map. It worked, and I single-handedly won the Money in the Bank ladder match, and I earned a shot whenever I wanted.
I knew in my heart, though, that fate would once again screw me over! This damned company collapsed at the worst possible time, and now I have to compete in a match at a time and place not of my choosing. But I'll win anyway, because I am simply the better than El Generico could ever hope to be. Some people might call him the greatest wrestler alive, and that may well be true 99% of the time. But when faced with Damien Sandow he is simply an ant to crush.
I will win the WWE championship. Why? Because I want to. I want the last thing anyone sees on World Wrestling Entertainment programming to be my face, holding the title high, having just defeated your last hero.
And for that:
You're welcome.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time, he is the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, El Generico!
Adiós Kyle.
Generico, tonight you defend your title against Mr. Money in the Bank Damien Sandow. Only one man will be able to call themselves the final WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
The WWE World Championship has been in existence since 1963. For 52 years, this title and WWE itself have been synonymous with Madison Square Garden. This is the place Bruno Sammartino sold out 187 times. This is where Hulkamania was born. The site of the first, tenth and twentieth WrestleManias along with multiple other PPVs. With all due respect to the men that forged their legacies here, perhaps no WWE Championship match is bigger than the one that takes place tonight.
Ever since I arrived in this company, I heard people say that if El Generico ever becomes the world champion, this place will go out of business. I honestly didn't think they were telling the truth and if I've had any part in WWE's downfall, I can only apologise. When I won this title back at Money in the Bank, I had no clue how my reign would play out. I had aspirations of matching Darren Young but I knew I couldn't look too far ahead either. Instead, after 28 days as champion, my reign will come to an end tonight whether I win or I lose.
Tonight, I find myself against a worthy challenger in the form of Damien Sandow. I'm not sure when Damien was intending on cashing in his Money in the Bank contract but I'm fairly certain it wouldn't have been under these circumstances. The thing is, Damien Sandow is good enough to beat me without the need of shenanigans. I've seen his year long reign as one half of the tag team champions, I saw him beat seven of WWE's best in a ladder match. As much as it pains me to say it, there is a realistic chance Damien might beat me tonight.
I have every intention on ending on a high note though. It took me close to eleven years to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion and I get that this is Damien's last ever chance to win it but I'm selfish, I really am. I need a happy ending tonight because when Final Countdown goes off the air, I'm not sure if the El Generico story even continues.
Damien Sandow, you have one chance to prove you can become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. I have one chance to prove El Generico isn't a fluke. So if this is the end... all I can really say is thank you to the people. Without you, none of this would have been possible and I'll never forget all you've done for me. I can only hope I'm lucky enough to see you again some day.
For one last time, let's go bust some brains.
(The Final Countdown hits zero in five minutes. Read those promos, kiddos.)
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Waffel113
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Ain't no Rap Mobile with his Waffels
Posts: 19,020
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Post by Waffel113 on Jul 26, 2015 19:20:04 GMT -5
Ladies and gentlemen, to announce our main event of the evening, please welcome WWE Hall of Famer, Howard Finkel!Lillian gives her microphone to Howard and exits the ring. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your main event of The Final Countdown! The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship!Dies IraeLadies and gentlemen, you are looking at the final WWE World Champion in history! This man won Money in the Bank, and he stands just minutes away from capturing the biggest prize in the game!I hate to think you're right, Joey, but like I said, that briefcase has never failed, not even once. History is behind Damien Sandow tonight.I'll tell you what's not behind him, this crowd! I can barely hear myself think they're booing so loud!OLE! OLE! OLE! OLE! OLE! OLE!Ole!And if Ashley Flair thought the boos were loud, the Garden is absolutely deafening for this man El Generico!The WWE World Heavyweight Champion has this arena fully behind him. He has talent to spare, but can he overcome Damien Sandow and become the final WWE Champion in history?Charles Robinson takes the championship from Generico as Finkel steps to the center of the ring. Introducing first, the challenger, accompanied by Ric Flair and representing LANA, from his seasonal residence in Palo Alto, California, weighing in tonight at 243 pounds, he is Mr. Money in the Bank, DAMIEN SANDOW!Sandow taunts the crowd to thunderous boos before shoving the briefcase into Robinson's arms. And his opponent, from Montreal, Quebec, Mexico, weighing in tonight at 196 pounds, he is the reigning, defending, WWE Heavyweight Champion of the World, EL GENERICO!Generico jumps onto the turnbuckle and plays to the audience, who shower him with cheers. For one final time, it's main event time. Damien Sandow. El Generico. Who will be the final WWE World Heavyweight Champion?WWE World Heavyweight Championship El Generico vs. Damien Sandow (HINT: Generico Wins) 5 Minutes (8:25)
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Waffel113
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Ain't no Rap Mobile with his Waffels
Posts: 19,020
|
Post by Waffel113 on Jul 26, 2015 19:24:58 GMT -5
Generico and Sandow slowly circle each other, looking to feel each other out. It's Generico who makes the first move, offering the customary test of strength, which Damien accepts. A bit of an old-school start to the main event here.The two lock up, with Generico slowly but surely gaining the upper hand. Generico has nearly forced Sandow to the mat, but the challenger suddenly breaks and flattens the champ with a clothesline! Ha! That's what you get for thinking you could trust Sandow with the WWE Championship at stake!Sandow lays in with a series of shots to the head, before covering. 1!
Generico kicks out. Sandow showing a lot of aggression in the early going. With this being his last chance, I'm not surprised.But he'll want to rein it in, or else he'll be playing right into the champ's hands.Sandow stays on top of the champ, looking to ground Generico. He gets a chinlock in, but Generico slowly starts to rise to his feet. He shoots Sandow off the ropes, dropkick on the rebound! And there's Generico getting momentum.The champ runs off the ropes, leg drop! Cover from Generico! 1!Sandow kicks out! It's gonna take a lot more than that to stop Damien Sandow. He's a man on a mission tonight.Sandow is pulled up by Generico, who immediately knocks him down with a second dropkick. Generico springs off the ropes, split-legged moonsault! And Generico is pulling out the stops early. Normally we don't see offense like this from him until the late going!I don't blame him. He can't afford to take any chances with Sandow! He might as well empty the arsenal now and hope to put him away early.Another cover from Generico! 1! 2!Sandow kicks out! But if Sandow takes all of that from Generico and keeps going, what does that say for Generico's chances?The champ once again goes on the offense, lifting Sandow for a suplex. Sandow counters and lifts Generico into a half nelson. He starts laying in with a series of kneelifts to the champ's face, before throwing him to the ground. Damien backs up, running knee to the head! That isn't a move you see often from Sandow! It just shows how badly he wants this one.Cover by Sandow! 1! 2!Generico kicks out! Sandow beginning to get a bit of a roll here.Sandow starts to work on the legs, stomping away and slamming them knee-first into the mat. He lifts Generico up, knee-breaker! Definitely setting up for the Fall of Byzantium. Good strategy on Sandow's part!But all that is contingent of managing to get Generico in that hold. If he doesn't, he's just wasting time.Sandow pulls the champ up and goes for another knee-breaker, but Generico somehow turns it into a frankensteiner! 1! 2!Sandow kicks out! Bad mistake for Sandow there. He just cannot afford to get sloppy against Generico!Generico gets the challenger up and pushes him against the ropes, Sandow sweeps the legs out from under him! Damien gets in position and taunts, elbow drop! Elbow of Disdain, Cubito Aequet, whatever you wanna call it, it's a strong move from Sandow!Definitely one of the stronger moves in his arsenal, that's for sure.Sandow covers! 1! 2!Generico kicks out! Damien lifts Generico up muscles the champ into a headlock, presumably looking for a bulldog, but Generico swings the momentum and hits the blue thunder bomb! 1! 2!
Sandow kicks out! Generico looks to remain on the attack, but Sandow gets a drop toe hold. Damien grabs the legs, Fall of Byzantium is locked in! What a sequence, culminating in the Cloverleaf! Generico has nowhere to go!That hold is locked in really tight. If Generico can't get to the ropes, he might have no choice but to tap out!Generico cries out in pain as he slowly tries to drag his way to the ropes. Sandow does all he can to keep Generico in the center, and starts to take over. Generico seems on the verge of tapping out, but he makes a last reach and grabs the bottom rope! Generico stays alive! Sandow has to break the hold!Damien holds on to the hold for as long as he can, but finally breaks at four. He pulls Generico to the middle and covers! 1! 2!
El Generico kicks out! Generico manages to endure that hold and kick out after all that!Sandow may have to kill Generico to win that title tonight!Sandow takes control, lifting the champ up and going behind. He looks for a German suplex, but Generico spins out of it. The luchadore takes control, dragon suplex into the corner! Now that's a punishing move from El Generico! Neck-first into the turnbuckle!Hold on a minute. It looks like Flair's up to no good here...Generico backs up for the Helluva Kick, not noticing that Ric Flair has gotten the referee's attention. He charges in, Damien floors him with a big right hand! Genius move by the Nature Boy! He distracted the referee, and Sandow just flattened him with...are those brass knuckles?Looks like it, Joey. Sandow may have just won it right here!Sandow slips the knuckles into his boot as he covers Generico! 1! 2!Generico kicks out! And El Generico stays alive!No way! How'd he kick out of that?!Sandow sits up in disbelief before covering Generico again! 1! 2!Generico kicks out again! And Sandow has to be beside himself! What more does he have to do?Flair grabs the referee as Sandow lifts Generico up, but he's suddenly blindsided with a huge lariat! It's Kevin Steen! He's leveling the playing field for Generico, and finally getting a form of payback on Sandow!Looks like Flair's going to be out of action for the remainder of this match!Steen drags Flair to the back kicking and screaming as Sandow sets up the DDT. He prepares to hit it, but Generico turns it into a Northern Lights Suplex out of desperation! 1! 2!Sandow kicks out! Generico just saved himself from certain defeat with that counter. He needs to capitalize right now!But what does he have left in the tank?Generico slowly pulls himself to his feet as Sandow recovers. Sandow is back to his feet, and he takes a wild swing at Generico, but he gets sent into the corner. Damien stumbles backward, Helluva Kick connects! Cover by Generico! 1! 2! 2.9!SANDOW KICKS OUT! And this time it's Sandow who stays alive!Something has to give by now, but neither of these men want to lose.Generico grabs Sandow and tries to hit the Brainbuster, but Sandow manages to escape it! He grabs the arms, Terminus! Terminus! This one is over!And you can hear a pin drop here in the Garden.Sandow flops on top of Generico! 1! 2! 2.9!
GENERICO KICKS OUT! Not possible! How did he kick out after that?!Generico is determined to remain champ, Joey. That's all I can say about it at this point. What a match!Sandow yells in anguish before lifting Generico to his feet. Damien grabs him around the head... Looks like the end is near...Sandow looks to hit the DDT, no, Generico manages to push him off into the ropes! Sandow rebounds, kick to the gut from Generico, BRAINBUSTAAAH!!! BRAINBUSTAAAH! That has to be it!!No, come on! Kick out!Generico rolls on top of Sandow! 1! 2! 3!Here is your winner, and STILL WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, EL GENERICO!!!!It's over! It's all over! El Generico is the final WWE World Heavyweight Champion!I can't believe it's over! What a match!No, no it can't be over! It just can't be!Well believe it Styles. This is the end of the line, and LANA's golden boy failed! El Generico is going to go down in history!And it looks like this is it. For Joey Styles, Ashley Flair, Michael Cole, and Corey Graves, this is Bret Hart. Thank you all for your support over the last fifty-plus years. For the last time, thank you for tuning in to World Wrestling Entertainment.Confetti rains down on El Generico as we slowly start to fade to black... We go backstage, after the Main Event of The Final Countdown. Damien Sandow enters gorilla to the applause of some of his co-workers, though nothing like Generico would receive in a few minutes. Many backstage personnel and even some wrestlers are crying, knowing it's all over. Sandow walks past Vince McMahon, and shakes his hand. He seems unaffected by what has caused so many of his peers to break down. Rounding the corner, and maneuvering past Big E and Lance Action, who are playing a game of dwarf tossing, he enters a seemingly empty hall way, and immediately slumps against the wall. It...it was all for f***ing nothing. EVERYTHING was for nothing!Sandow punches the wall, before slumping further down it. I threw away everything I had for a chance at that masked freak, and he won! God damn it, I cheated, and he still won! God f***ing damn it, I say. What am I meant to do now? This was all I bloody had! I've given everything else up; sold my soul to the devil for a title shot, and I lost it!Sandow, remembering how he was so deftly beaten by Generico, seemed content to wallow in his own self-pity, a horrid wretch of a man, a mere shadow of his former pimpitude and general coolness. He had, in short, become a modern day Ric Flair. There's a message in that somewhere. Then, he heard footsteps coming from the other end of the hall, and people talking, blissfully unaware of the presence of Sandow. So we should definitely stay in touch once this is over. I know that we may not stay a unit, but you've been a great mentor and... hold on a minute, John. Something to deal with.Ryan Nemeth enters the frame, putting up his phone as he kneels down to Damien. So, you do everything you can, you bust your ass, you're one step away from success and then BAM! There it goes.
Not a fun feeling, is it, old pal?What do you want, Ryan? Is it to gloat? Save your breath, I'm already low enough as it is.I could do that. And really, I'd be justified, don't even think about saying I wouldn't! But really, I'm here to say goodbye. You were a big part of my history in this company, for better and worse, and I think I'd regret it if I didn't talk with you one last time.
So, since this'll probably be one of the last times we see each other, spill it. I'll admit on some level it hurts to see you like this, so go ahead. You may not have any friends in the back, but you'll always have me, I guess.I talk to Mike the technician about Beethoven! Though...he got fired about two months ago. Alright, I'll admit it, Nemeth. I feel like shit. I threw away everything I had to try and get the world championship, I sacrificed friendships, people, careers, the whole works, just to get within touching distance of that title, and I couldn't do it. In the end, everything was for nothing.
If this is the last time we're going to see each other, I guess I want to say I'm sorry. I know my word isn't worth much anymore, so it's alright if you don't believe me, but I am.Ryan thinks it over and starts to walk off... But stops. Hell with it. Life's too short to hold grudges anyway. Apology accepted, Damien.He extends a hand to Damien, a smile on his face. Sandow grabs Nemeth's hand and pulls himself up, perhaps shocked that Ryan didn't walk the f*** away from him. Don't look so shocked. We never figured out what was up with that portal in Wisconsin! Hell, we still haven't found Parts Unknown!You're right, Nemeth. We never did find Parts Unknown, despite how close we came. Do you still have the RV?Well, we totaled the old one, but I shopped around, found a website, and I bought a new one a week back. I'll call John, tell him to meet me there, and we can get back going.
Because this may all be done, but we've still have a Quest to finish! And as long as we're working on that, The Enlightenment lives on.Ryan...thanks, for giving this a second chance. What should we do now?Well, we are in New York City. I wouldn't be opposed to clubbing if that's what you're up for, I wouldn't mind sightseeing, but honestly, I'm down for whatever.
Oh, and you're welcome.Actually, on second thought, do you want to go steal the tag team titles? They ought to be back where they belong, I say, not with that False Sikh we beat.You think we could get away with it?Sandow nods. Think I saw them around the corner a few minutes ago. It'd be nice to have a talk with them, maybe convince them into giving us our property back. Can you believe it's been over 700 days since we won them to begin with?And we never should have lost them. I maintain that what happened to us a year ago is why this company was cancelled.Right? Anyway, no time like the present. We've got some gold to take back!Well, I'd say we've wasted enough time here. Let's go get our damn titles before those two abscond with them! If we get arrested, just remember - God wants this to happen!The Enlightenment high tail it to where Nemeth saw the Best Friends, which happens to be at the backstage toilets. There, they see them, glistening gold, their tag team championships. Sandow and Nemeth grab them and make for the exit. Wait, I have to leave something behind.Sandow turns around and pulls out a piece of paper, and quickly writes the tag champs a letter. " Dear Best Friends:
I hate you, you stupid people. Dhesi, you aren't even a real Sikh, you horrible liar. I bet that you lie because you weren't loved as a child, and I'd wager a guess that your mother never hugged you. I wish you'd go back to being Jinder Mahal. Well, you were crap then, but at least you didn't have delusions of being some kind of Hollywood superstar. The only way you're going to be a star is if you make the news for suicide.
Richie Steamboat: Words cannot express the contempt I hold for you. You, who were handed everything in this industry, despite the fact that certain someones had more talent in their toenails than you have in your whole body. You're as inept and useless as any man I've ever come across, and you've routinely been cuckolded, like a half-Asian John Morrison. That's another prick I hate.
Anyway, we stole your titles, you're never getting them back.
Best wishes, The Enlightenment.Sandow leaves the letter off. Right, come on Ne- Wait, is that the Great Khali? Why's he beckoning us to come over?I dunno. Probably decided to come back for the last show. Wait, is he in that damn lab coat? What's he want?The two walk over to Professor Khali, who is feverishly discussing something with Lord Alfred Hayes's possessed radio. OK, what do you want, Khali? Some bullshit hypothesis you'd like us to disprove?rain nemuth damien sandu u mus helo meh, the wrold is gon boom....I'm sorry, what?Professor TG Khali, the international man of SCIENCE, is attempting to tell you about the impending arrival of entropy to the universe. The Professor's calculations show that this is fact, not just the ramblings of a lunatic.The color drains out of both men's faces as they comprehend this. Wait...the world is ending? Are you serious?!Khali says nothing, and lumbers off to who-knows-where. Y'know, I always thought we'd be champs until the heat death of the universe. Didn't mean for it to be literal, though! What the f*** do we do now, Damien?!Follow that Punjabi!The Enlightenment speed off after Khali, catching up with him in his high tech lab. The two briefly consider that, were it not for Khali's poor grasp of English, they probably would have gotten on quite well with the giant genius. Hayes, you ghostly radio, I don't want to die! Ask the good Professor what we can do. Khali! What about any alternate universes, will they collapse too?The giant draws a few hundred lines on a blackboard in under a minute, and shakes his head. How much time have we got?!!?The Professor confided in me earlier that, at maximum, we would have four hours until the arrival of entropy.Four hours! Four f***ing hours! Ryan, how are we meant to get to Peshtigo in four hours?!Hold on...John talked me into something while I was looking for a new RV. I have a plan.Ryan pulls his cell phone back out and calls John. Yeah, John? That thing you talked me into? We're gonna be needing it...
Yeah, I hate to tell you this, but the world is ending. No, I'm not lying, John! We gotta get to Peshtigo in the next four hours and find that portal, or we can kiss our asses goodbye!
...yeah, pull it up right outside the exit. You know what to do. ...yeah yeah, God be with us and that.Ryan hangs up. Damien, let's go!The duo run to the MSG parking lot, just in time for JBL to pull up in the RV. Only...it doesn't quite look like one. More like Doc Brown's DeLorean. What on earth? That's some RV, Ryan.What? Did I never tell you Back to the Future is my favorite movie? If it'll take 14 hours to drive, I think it'll be a bit quicker to fly, y'know?JBL rolls down the window. I'm sorry, isn't the world ending in four hours? Get in!The Enlightenment don't have to be asked twice, and jump into the "RV". Hi, Layfield. Yes, I lost, and I'm quite aware that the last time I saw you, I punched you in the face. But, instead of worrying about such trivial matters, let's try and stay alive.Couldn't have said it any better myself.JBL hits the gas and the "RV" starts to take off. 3 hours later.The "RV" has touched down outside the factory in Peshtigo. Signs of the coming end are already apparent, as much of the surrounding landscape is on fire. The three men get out of the vehicle and make their way to the portal, which is just where they left it. So...this is it. We're about to leave this plane of existence for an alternate dimension.
One that, if I remember right, we were tranquilized in last time we visited.Oh, I'm sorry John. Would you rather go down with the ship? No?Ryan shoves JBL into the portal! Then get over it!Nemeth turns to Damien. So, any last words before we ditch this universe?You're welcome, universe! You're welcome that the Enlightenment graced you with our presence. I'd say "thank us later", but for you. there won't be a later. Come on Ryan, let's go sort this Parts Unknown mess out.
Deus Vult!Wait! Take this.Nemeth looks down and grabs JBL's shotgun. We're gonna be needing this. I can tell...The Enlightenment jump through the portal together as the fabric of the universe starts to come unglued. Somewhere in the distance, the 1812 Overture can be faintly heard. As The Enlightenment depart through the portal, we cut backstage to Big Action...We go backstage, where a faint buzzing noise can be heard, like some huge computer. Big E Langston walks towards the source of the noise, where he finds Lance Action standing in front of the fabled time machine, with Hornswoggle stuffed through a basketball hoop. Hey Lance. Did you hear what Reyals had to say?Lance turns around. Oh, hey Biggie. Just took this thing out for a spin, made a few...deliveries.
No, what'd Reyals say?
Well, basically, because he killed Jesus that time, God's decided to end the universe. Reyals says entropy will set in tomorrow and he'll be the only thing alive, but that he can give his life for our sins and shove us into an alternate dimension.
Man, screw God.
That's awfully nice of Reyals. He truly is our greatest hero.Lance thinks for a second. Wait, so if we're headed to an alternate dimension, then that means that none of this will have ever existed. Like, who knows, maybe you'll be a part of some weird lower-card stable, and I'll be off the main roster entirely.Maybe Reyals will have been fired for being some kind of weird abuser in developmental. Hell, maybe Tyler Black will be WWE Champion.What if Darren Young had a serious gay gimmick, and Kane was still a main eventer for some reason? That'd be crazy.At least in the next universe Hulk Hogan will probably be a nicer person. Imagine if I lost my last name?I know. That'd be weird.
But yeah, I guess after tonight, none of this is gonna exist. Lance looks around the locker room. No Pig E, no Eva and Summer, no Ted DiBiase, not even Ron Jeremy or the ghost of John Holmes. We're not even gonna know each other, or have mastered time time travel somehow. Did we ever figure out just how that even happened? I'm pretty sure we just woke up one morning after spending the night discriminating against minorities, and the time machine was there.
Damn, maybe we won't even have Super Porky.No Super Porky? Aww, come on. I loved that little porker.
But yeah, I guess...I guess this is it. Everything we did is just gonna be gone after tonight. Man...Yeah man. We're gonna die. This is really f***ing shi-And so the universe ended.--------------- Thanks to Jonathan Michaels, lodirulz, Oak: Certified Jade Hater, TOO SWEET, Matt, MikeyMania, Fake Jesus, MrBRulzOK, Waffel113, suave, Some Baritone guy IS REDEEMED!, armbar, Dub H, Johnny B. Decent, cageking666, any former members who dropped by for BGO chat, and anyone else I'm forgetting for promoing, voting, or anything else. Special thanks to MrBRulzOK for writing Dolph Ziggler vs. Darren Young. Congratulations to lodirulz and Oak: Certified Jade Hater for winning the Tag Team Championships, Waffel113 for winning the Women's Championship, TOO SWEET for winning the Pure Championship, MrBRulzOK for winning the United States Championship, armbar for winning the Intercontinental Championship (first and last IC champ in our history, time is a flat circle), and to TOO SWEET and MikeyMania for retaining the Hardcore Championship and WWE World Heavyweight Championship, respectively. While I'm at it, thanks to everybody who's been a part of this fed over the years. There were ups, there were downs, and just about every damn thing in between, but I wouldn't trade the time I spent here for anything. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart. And don't forget, WU will be kicking off sometime soon. If you don't have an account on the official sub-forum, we have a link for you right here. Hopefully, we'll see you soon for the writer draft. Well this is it. I'm off to look for that survey that gets posted now and again. Talk about the show in the meantime. Share memories!
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