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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Sept 23, 2015 19:54:58 GMT -5
Follow up to this thread specifically: officialfan.proboards.com/thread/528450/kicked-out-dnd-group-ventFor those not wanting to read, the long and short of the story is that I was kicked out of DnD after some bad shit happened and I was diagnosed with depression. The way the DM kicked me out was shady and underhanded, up until recently I was trying to keep it behind me but the feels of resentment and frustration kept rearing their ugly head so I decided to finally confront the guy about it. The gist of the conversation was this: I asked him to explain the real reason he kicked me out and why he did it in such a manner. He stood by his initial reasons and din't respond to the second part. I pressed about the accusation that nobody wanted to play with me which he still stood by (it's bullshit, I know because I talked to some of them myself and they said there were issues but never said they wanted me to stop playing). I continued pressing about why he didn't talk to me about the issues at hand (which he still ignored) then the real kicker was that he didn't give second chances or tolerate someone who acted the way I did (IE, I was a bit of a dick...which is I tried taking a break in the first f***ing place). But then I cut the shit and got to the real chase: That regardless of whether or not he wanted me back, how he handled the situation was still underhanded and shady and that he should have talked to me instead of just kicking me out in such a manner and that I at the very least deserve an apology. The result was f***ing glorious. He went on a hissy fit rant about how he doesn't owe me anything and that I have "no right to demand anything" (which I never even did, I just said I think I deserve an apology for how he handled the situation) and even said to act like a "dammed decent adult (all while he's throwing out insults and putting words in my mouth). We're still talking as I post this and while it didn't go as well as I thought and I am honestly happy that I was able to get this asshole to show his true colors. It makes it much easier to put this messy business behind me. |
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Juice
El Dandy
Wrong? Oh he can tell ya about being wrong.
I'm the one who raised you from perdition.
Posts: 8,172
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Post by Juice on Sept 23, 2015 20:06:03 GMT -5
I said it before in that original thread and I will say it now. You do seem to have an obtuse attitude. Having played with people similar I know what it's like trying to roll die with guys who aren't flowing. I would have kicked you out as well.
I may be mistaken, but you recently posted about friends who basically lied to you and avoided you at a convention. Honestly, man it may just be your personality. If you insist on continuing a discussion about being dropped from a dnd game. Don't be so aggressive. I'll quote you
"The result was f***ing glorious. He went on a hissy fit rant about how he doesn't owe me anything and that I have "no right to demand anything" (which I never even did, I just said I think I deserve an apology for how he handled the situation) and even said to act like a "dammed decent adult (all while he's throwing out insults and putting words in my mouth)."
Do you see how the above statement really looks like you're the one being a jerk.
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Post by anticonscience on Sept 23, 2015 20:09:13 GMT -5
*language warning*
literally the only thing I know about D&D
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Juice
El Dandy
Wrong? Oh he can tell ya about being wrong.
I'm the one who raised you from perdition.
Posts: 8,172
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Post by Juice on Sept 23, 2015 20:12:29 GMT -5
*language warning* literally the only thing I know about D&D Live at The El Ray. Takes me back. |
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Sept 23, 2015 20:56:41 GMT -5
I said it before in that original thread and I will say it now. You do seem to have an obtuse attitude. Having played with people similar I know what it's like trying to roll die with guys who aren't flowing. I would have kicked you out as well. I may be mistaken, but you recently posted about friends who basically lied to you and avoided you at a convention. Honestly, man it may just be your personality. If you insist on continuing a discussion about being dropped from a dnd game. Don't be so aggressive. I'll quote you "The result was f***ing glorious. He went on a hissy fit rant about how he doesn't owe me anything and that I have "no right to demand anything" (which I never even did, I just said I think I deserve an apology for how he handled the situation) and even said to act like a "dammed decent adult (all while he's throwing out insults and putting words in my mouth)." Do you see how the above statement really looks like you're the one being a jerk. The friend who avoided me has since apologized for her behavior and that was settled. I'm really only being aggressive in how I explain things. Honestly, in the actual conversation I'd like to think I was being civil it's just that my initial reaction after he starting throwing out petty insults was to laugh. |
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Juice
El Dandy
Wrong? Oh he can tell ya about being wrong.
I'm the one who raised you from perdition.
Posts: 8,172
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Post by Juice on Sept 23, 2015 21:08:43 GMT -5
I said it before in that original thread and I will say it now. You do seem to have an obtuse attitude. Having played with people similar I know what it's like trying to roll die with guys who aren't flowing. I would have kicked you out as well. I may be mistaken, but you recently posted about friends who basically lied to you and avoided you at a convention. Honestly, man it may just be your personality. If you insist on continuing a discussion about being dropped from a dnd game. Don't be so aggressive. I'll quote you "The result was f***ing glorious. He went on a hissy fit rant about how he doesn't owe me anything and that I have "no right to demand anything" (which I never even did, I just said I think I deserve an apology for how he handled the situation) and even said to act like a "dammed decent adult (all while he's throwing out insults and putting words in my mouth)." Do you see how the above statement really looks like you're the one being a jerk. The friend who avoided me has since apologized for her behavior and that was settled. I'm really only being aggressive in how I explain things. Honestly, in the actual conversation I'd like to think I was being civil it's just that my initial reaction after he starting throwing out petty insults was to laugh. Well man all evidence provided seems like that guy felt harassed. Which is why I posted the above. Anyway have you started a new game with another group yet or asked for a savings throw |
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Sept 23, 2015 21:14:55 GMT -5
The friend who avoided me has since apologized for her behavior and that was settled. I'm really only being aggressive in how I explain things. Honestly, in the actual conversation I'd like to think I was being civil it's just that my initial reaction after he starting throwing out petty insults was to laugh. Well man all evidence provided seems like that guy felt harassed. Which is why I posted the above. Anyway have you started a new game with another group yet or asked for a savings throw I'm not sure if he felt harassed but his last message (which I've decided not to respond to) included the phrase "I've given you more of my time and energy than you deserve." As for a new group, A video game bar is opening next month and me and another friend are going to find a group for me (I can't do it myself, f***ing crippling social phobia). |
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Post by xCompackx on Sept 23, 2015 21:28:09 GMT -5
I'm a little confused as to what you were hoping for from confronting this guy. It's one thing to be upset over getting kicked out of a group, which is fine by the way, but it sounds a little like you were goading the guy into reacting the way he did.
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Sept 23, 2015 23:11:45 GMT -5
I'm a little confused as to what you were hoping for from confronting this guy. It's one thing to be upset over getting kicked out of a group, which is fine by the way, but it sounds a little like you were goading the guy into reacting the way he did. To put it simply I felt wronged,and getting kicked out of that group REALLY affected me. I wanted an explanation and for things to be made right. |
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Post by El Cokehead del Knife Fight on Sept 23, 2015 23:41:29 GMT -5
I think what might have been better would be to just move past it. In your other thread, it did indeed come across that it was a 50-50 split on who was at fault.
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Post by Cyno on Sept 24, 2015 2:06:27 GMT -5
Did you ever apologize for your own bad behavior? From both threads it sounds like you weren't entirely innocent and it also sounds like you were using your mental illness to make excuses for acting like a jerk.
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Sept 24, 2015 11:18:51 GMT -5
Did you ever apologize for your own bad behavior? From both threads it sounds like you weren't entirely innocent and it also sounds like you were using your mental illness to make excuses for acting like a jerk. One of the first things I did was make an apology to my entire cast for everything I had done. |
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The Blue Nova
Don Corleone
Sigs/Avatars cannot exceed 1MB
Posts: 1,392
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Post by The Blue Nova on Sept 24, 2015 12:35:39 GMT -5
Did you ever apologize for your own bad behavior? From both threads it sounds like you weren't entirely innocent and it also sounds like you were using your mental illness to make excuses for acting like a jerk. I don't think he was he seems to have problems but deep down he seems like a genuine good guy I am here if you ever need to talk brother |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2015 15:47:44 GMT -5
Seems to me like you got what you deserved dude.
I have trouble believing he just decided to kick you out for the sake of it - you must have done something over and over again that warranted you getting kicked out.
And also - it's a f***ing DnD group, get over it mate.
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Post by zrowsdower on Sept 24, 2015 17:37:51 GMT -5
I'm sorry you got kicked out of your group.
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The Unconquered Sun
King Koopa
He has no pants! What a heathen!
Lord of Storms and Kittens!
Posts: 11,548 
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Post by The Unconquered Sun on Sept 24, 2015 17:53:14 GMT -5
Let's form our own D & D group, with blackjack, and hookers!
You know what, forget the D & D group
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Post by Raskovnik on Sept 24, 2015 19:04:46 GMT -5
Seems to me like you got what you deserved dude. I have trouble believing he just decided to kick you out for the sake of it - you must have done something over and over again that warranted you getting kicked out. And also - it's a f***ing DnD group, get over it mate. Yeah, honestly, the fixation on it alone speaks volumes. More than any retelling of what may or may not have happened, in any case. |
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Chris
AC Slater
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Post by Chris on Sept 25, 2015 0:37:43 GMT -5
It sounds like a personality conflict and from the way the OP tells it, he comes across as a bit of a jerk seeking validation for his actions. Walking away is probably the best result for all parties involved. It sucks if that was your social circle and your passion but greater happiness may lie elsewhere for you. In the meantime, work at admitting your mistakes and improving yourself. Evem if you were 100% in the right, it is advice worth following.
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beamanhogan
Team Rocket
RIP - Macho for Hall of Fame
Posts: 867
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Post by beamanhogan on Sept 25, 2015 10:45:03 GMT -5
I was kicked out of DnD once. I started to play Nethack on my PC at that point. I have not looked back.
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