SmashTV
Dennis Stamp
Big Money, Big Prizes, I Love It!
The Excellence of Allocation
Posts: 4,495
|
Post by SmashTV on Feb 29, 2016 15:28:21 GMT -5
I use 'hon' as a term of endearment for all of my female friends and colleagues (all two of them!), and I've never been pulled up on it.
Whether or not this is due to our closeness, they're assured enough to know it's not a come on or they just don't take it personally I don't know. Whatever the answer, it certainly makes my life easier knowing that I don't need to walk on eggshells whenever I talk to them.
|
|
|
Post by Some Guy on Feb 29, 2016 15:54:25 GMT -5
Honey is, yeah. It's like saying sweetie, or sugar, or sweetheart. Woman is a weird one. It could easily be the equivalent of man. However, it can also come off as sexist if it's used in the context of telling them to do something or telling them they're dumb or they're wrong, and implying it's because they're a woman. It's more based on historical sexism than any modern intent, most of the time. There's instances when there's a subconscious intent too, always debatable of course. As someone who likes to use "dude" or "man" in conversation, there really isn't an equivalent I call girls. Well, this is an example of saying woman: Anyway, talk about saying "dude," I never liked the term "dudette." Of course, that was just something that never caught on and I mainly heard that on "Step By Step" from the character, Cody. Of course, when I also say homie, I rarely use homeboy, and I don't know if I would use homegirl in that context. When you're The Rock, you can pull it off without sounding sexist. Anyone else, no.
|
|
pegasuswarrior
El Dandy
Three Time FAN Idol Champion
@PulpPictionary
Posts: 8,748
|
Post by pegasuswarrior on Feb 29, 2016 16:07:57 GMT -5
One thing that has come from this thread is that I just realized there are not two distinct pink Kash's. For the past two months or so, I have thought that "Clash" was Kash Flagg. I cannot tell you how many times I have scratched my head at Kash Flagg's new persona on the Forums. I honestly thought Flagg was having an identity or midlife crisis. I cannot tell you how relieved I am to now know that I was just skimming the name and to know that former green "Radio Clash" is the source of all of these conflicting reactions to posts that I am having. So glad that that is resolved. Kash Flagg is still himself. Thankfully. I'm the earnest and often emotional but still droll cartoon nerd and he's the curmudgeonly horror mark that goes on banning sprees. That's how you can tell us apart. Exactly. Which is why I've shaken my head a few times at what I thought was Kash Flagg. I'm like "you've lost your edge there, dude." It's funny how all of that is now excused because you associate how some people act with just who they are. Since it so obviously didn't seem to be Kash Flagg, I was highly disappointed in him. Only for breaking character. Now I realize who it actually was and I'm like "ohhhh, that makes sense. Carry on. All is right with the world." On that note, the way people give you crap on your Cena love. I've been thinking the whole time: why are people giving Kash Flagg crap? and--better yet--his manner of combating it is really not the same Flagg I thought I knew. I'm telling ya, in this thread, it's just been a realization that has baffled me for two months or more. I've just been used to seeing green Radio Clash, and you color and handle change has just thrown me off. Now, it's time for Kash Flagg to ban me for sabotaging a thread... ... ...... And you can't. teach. that... ...... ........ *wait for it* ....... {Spoiler}...Honey.
|
|
agent817
Fry's dog Seymour
Doesn't Know Whose Ring It Is
Posts: 21,305
|
Post by agent817 on Feb 29, 2016 17:30:35 GMT -5
I find the term "Toots" to be a bit offensive. Then again, I never ever actually used it. However, some of the other terms that have been noted are much less offensive than saying "bitch."
|
|
|
Post by Long A, Short A on Feb 29, 2016 18:22:11 GMT -5
Yes. Unless you're VERY familiar with someone, that shit is sexist and patronizing. Pretty much. Different women feel different way about words. My advice is to avoid acting put out when a women lets you know what's up.
|
|
|
Post by HMARK Center on Feb 29, 2016 18:38:01 GMT -5
I use 'hon' as a term of endearment for all of my female friends and colleagues (all two of them!), and I've never been pulled up on it. Whether or not this is due to our closeness, they're assured enough to know it's not a come on or they just don't take it personally I don't know. Whatever the answer, it certainly makes my life easier knowing that I don't need to walk on eggshells whenever I talk to them. It likely is because they know you and think you're an alright guy. In such a case, mahzel tov.
|
|
|
Post by Tea & Crumpets on Feb 29, 2016 18:47:53 GMT -5
I have 2 female friends who use the term hon to everybody, myself included. One also uses the terms "sweetie" and "dear" for everyone.
I wouldn't call it sexist whether it's directed at men or women, but I'd say it CAN be patronising. Lord knows I find "sweetie" & "dear" patronising. But they don't seem to intend to use it in that context. Well, usually.
|
|
PKO
King Koopa
Posts: 12,615
|
Post by PKO on Feb 29, 2016 18:51:49 GMT -5
Honey either sounds like you're referring to your partner, or you're really camp.
Working with the public, I still need a word to casually refer to a singular female. Men are easy ("buddy", "fella") groups of females are easy ("ladies", "girls") but just one is hard..
|
|
|
Post by Kash Flagg on Feb 29, 2016 18:53:49 GMT -5
One thing that has come from this thread is that I just realized there are not two distinct pink Kash's. For the past two months or so, I have thought that "Clash" was Kash Flagg. I cannot tell you how many times I have scratched my head at Kash Flagg's new persona on the Forums. I honestly thought Flagg was having an identity or midlife crisis. I cannot tell you how relieved I am to now know that I was just skimming the name and to know that former green "Radio Clash" is the source of all of these conflicting reactions to posts that I am having. So glad that that is resolved. Kash Flagg is still himself. Thankfully. I'm the earnest and often emotional but still droll cartoon nerd and he's the curmudgeonly horror mark that goes on banning sprees. That's how you can tell us apart. See what happens when these two share an apartment in Japan! Only on ABC.
|
|
|
Post by Kash Flagg on Feb 29, 2016 18:57:44 GMT -5
I'm the earnest and often emotional but still droll cartoon nerd and he's the curmudgeonly horror mark that goes on banning sprees. That's how you can tell us apart. Exactly. Which is why I've shaken my head a few times at what I thought was Kash Flagg. I'm like "you've lost your edge there, dude." It's funny how all of that is now excused because you associate how some people act with just who they are. Since it so obviously didn't seem to be Kash Flagg, I was highly disappointed in him. Only for breaking character. Now I realize who it actually was and I'm like "ohhhh, that makes sense. Carry on. All is right with the world." On that note, the way people give you crap on your Cena love. I've been thinking the whole time: why are people giving Kash Flagg crap? and--better yet--his manner of combating it is really not the same Flagg I thought I knew. I'm telling ya, in this thread, it's just been a realization that has baffled me for two months or more. I've just been used to seeing green Radio Clash, and you color and handle change has just thrown me off. Now, it's time for Kash Flagg to ban me for sabotaging a thread... ... ...... And you can't. teach. that... ...... ........ *wait for it* ....... {Spoiler}...Honey. I can't remember the last time I banned someone.
|
|
|
Post by Cyno on Feb 29, 2016 19:06:18 GMT -5
I call everyone I know "dude." Men, women, animals, random inanimate objects, etc. It might have started out gendered, but it is completely genderless to me and most of the people I know.
But yeah, it really depends on context and the person. Like, by itself, 'woman' is pretty harmless. But I've heard it used too much in the sort of male chauvinist sense like "Woman, go make me a sandwich!" "Honey" can also come off as very patronizing if you're using it for women that aren't your significant other or otherwise close with.
|
|
SmashTV
Dennis Stamp
Big Money, Big Prizes, I Love It!
The Excellence of Allocation
Posts: 4,495
|
Post by SmashTV on Mar 1, 2016 1:17:52 GMT -5
I use 'hon' as a term of endearment for all of my female friends and colleagues (all two of them!), and I've never been pulled up on it. Whether or not this is due to our closeness, they're assured enough to know it's not a come on or they just don't take it personally I don't know. Whatever the answer, it certainly makes my life easier knowing that I don't need to walk on eggshells whenever I talk to them. It likely is because they know you and think you're an alright guy. In such a case, mahzel tov. What can I say... they're right! Seriously though, 'hon' became part of my vocabulary fifteen years ago, as it was commonplace between men and women in the office where I worked. I have to be honest, I've never thought how it would sound to a stranger - maybe they think I'm patronising them, which certainly isn't the case. I've never had any flack for it, but it could only be a matter of time. Maybe I should be more careful when using it; my dad used to make me cringe when he called women 'love'. He meant no harm by it, but it just sounded wrong and outdated.
|
|
Cranjis McBasketball
Crow T. Robot
Knew what the hell that thing was supposed to be
Peace Love and Nothing But
Posts: 41,975
|
Post by Cranjis McBasketball on Mar 1, 2016 1:24:54 GMT -5
Yes. Honey, woman, babe, sweetcheeks, doll, chick, baby, sweetie, sweetheart, good-lookin, sexy, girl (to an adult). Unless you're VERY familiar with someone, that shit is sexist and patronizing. I just call everyone dude or man, no matter the gender. When I say "aw man," "dude, no way" I'm not specifically saying, "Hey person who is of the male gender." Its just a generic term for another person, unless you want to be a literal jerk about it. Conversation I've had. Me: Hey man. Her: I'm not a man, Me: Hey woman.....which do you prefer? Her: Man.... It wasn't some random girl, I knew her, somewhat....Man doesn't mean anything, it's just an expression.
|
|
|
Post by "Gentleman" AJ Powell on Mar 1, 2016 3:59:43 GMT -5
Yes. Honey, woman, babe, sweetcheeks, doll, chick, baby, sweetie, sweetheart, good-lookin, sexy, girl (to an adult). Unless you're VERY familiar with someone, that shit is sexist and patronizing. I just call everyone dude or man, no matter the gender. When I say "aw man," "dude, no way" I'm not specifically saying, "Hey person who is of the male gender." Its just a generic term for another person, unless you want to be a literal jerk about it. Yeah, it comes off as real condescending if you're just like "Hey honey, could you pass me that?" and they're not someone you know well. I too follow the paradigm of "Everyone being dude/bro" A girl I live with used to complain about it, until she heard me call my mum "dude" on the phone and realised that yes, I do call everyone that. If saying "woman" is sexist, then I'll need a better pick-up line than this. Man, that reminds me of the fact my friend keeps trying to do this line, but ends up sounding like Animal from the Muppets. So I'll hear "HEY WOMAN!" directed at me from across the gym in this weird muppet voice and know he wants my attention.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2016 6:31:27 GMT -5
|
|
WWEedy
Don Corleone
Posts: 1,320
|
Post by WWEedy on Mar 1, 2016 7:55:11 GMT -5
I'm pretty liberal with my dudes and homies, I'll use them for either gender I'm friends with. I dunno it's weird, men seem to embrace these things while women seem to reject them. I mean I use Chick on occasion as self-named 'Rock Chicks' were ten a penny in my teenage years but even then I know lots of girls offended by the term. I dunno, as long as you're not actually degrading them via intent most of these aren't sexist. Calling them bitches etc is where the line should be drawn I'd say.
|
|
|
Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Mar 1, 2016 8:15:18 GMT -5
I don't think it is but if the person you're talking to is annoyed by it, just refrain from using it. Wait wait wait, how is THAT not sexist? Isn't that basically acting like male is the default and feminity should not be acknowledged as if it is somehow condescending? Maybe. But like I said, when go 'Aw man, that sucks!' I'm not literally saying "Hey, people of the male gender, that's unfortunate." I say it most to my girlfriend, haha! But mostly its just a habit I picked up from moving from the Midwest to California. Regionally, its VERY common to call every one "dude" or "man." Most women I talk to (casually, not in a work setting or anything) call each other dude and man all the time. Its a strange Cali thing, I think, that makes the term genderless in some circles. I used to be a big "sir/ma'am, mr/ms" kinda guy when I was in the Midwest. I actually wish I could go back to that, but the whole "dude/man" thing is so pervasive out here that people look at you like you're a Martian if you use formal stuff like ma'am. But I can definitely understand if someone found it to be sexist. In which I case I'd just stop saying it to them. And when I travel outside of California or even outside my usual social circle I drop that (and a lot of stuff) from my vocab, just because its not really appropriate everywhere. When I go back to visit the Midwest, its funny how quickly my "man's" and "dude's" drop off in favor of more conventional generic stuff. Okay, fair enough. I guess I hadn't really thought of it that way. I don't think it is but if the person you're talking to is annoyed by it, just refrain from using it. Wait wait wait, how is THAT not sexist? Isn't that basically acting like male is the default and feminity should not be acknowledged as if it is somehow condescending? I think that boils down to how a word's meaning has evolved over time due to its popular usage. "Man", typically, has been taken from directly referring to somebody (e.g. the Ghost of Christmas Present saying "Come, know me better, man!" to Scrooge) to more of a general exclamation ("Oh man, that sucks!"). In that way, it kind of lost its gendered meaning in most popular usage. "Dude" has kind of done the same thing, though to a lesser degree, as it does still tend to be more male-focused. And yeah, I also think we can add in that sometimes there's a regional/cultural thing going on, too; that "sweetheart" may be used more in some places than others and just taken more for granted, whereas using it elsewhere could carry different connotations to people. I don't think we can go by the example of waitresses using it, though; that's still largely a gendered expectation, that a diner waitress will call you "hon" or something, but unless I'm grossly mistaken (always a possibility), I don't think it's something we'd expect from male waiters. Hm, you raise a good point about the cultural thing as over here, if you called a woman the equivalent of "man" or "dude", it would probably come off more like you're saying she's mannish and ugly so that's probably why when I try to think how I'd react if I were a woman, I probably wouldn't be happy with being called that. I suppose in English (or at least some English-speaking countries) it would indeed come off more like a generic saying. Come to think of it, it's a bit weird because in French, we don't have a neutral so we use the masculine instead so when talking about a group of people of both genders, we use the masculine even if there is a majority of women or girls.
|
|
agent817
Fry's dog Seymour
Doesn't Know Whose Ring It Is
Posts: 21,305
|
Post by agent817 on Jun 29, 2016 22:32:26 GMT -5
Yes. Honey, woman, babe, sweetcheeks, doll, chick, baby, sweetie, sweetheart, good-lookin, sexy, girl (to an adult). Unless you're VERY familiar with someone, that shit is sexist and patronizing. I just call everyone dude or man, no matter the gender. When I say "aw man," "dude, no way" I'm not specifically saying, "Hey person who is of the male gender." Its just a generic term for another person, unless you want to be a literal jerk about it. Conversation I've had. Me: Hey man. Her: I'm not a man, Me: Hey woman.....which do you prefer? Her: Man.... It wasn't some random girl, I knew her, somewhat....Man doesn't mean anything, it's just an expression. Man, that is kind of funny.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2016 22:53:07 GMT -5
Wah.
Free women I perceive will not slap me are almost always baby, honey, sweetie, etc. to me.
Is that sexist? Probably. Don't care though.
Most......... like it, ZOMG!!!!!!!!!
Women are free and deserve respect, but often don't actually want some bagless new school tolerance kid, at least in my experience. The narrative doesn't match the physiology.
They are being confused by ugly whowantsits that tell them they need to be more.
If you want a man and kids, good on you. If you want a career and respect, good on you again. If you think both should just tie up all neat and tidy for you, you're dumb.
|
|
unc40
Dennis Stamp
Posts: 3,633
|
Post by unc40 on Jun 29, 2016 23:24:20 GMT -5
Well, this is an example of saying woman: Anyway, talk about saying "dude," I never liked the term "dudette." Of course, that was just something that never caught on and I mainly heard that on "Step By Step" from the character, Cody. Of course, when I also say homie, I rarely use homeboy, and I don't know if I would use homegirl in that context. When you're The Rock, you can pull it off without sounding sexist. Anyone else, no. The Rock comes across as extremely sexist.
|
|