r.
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Bye
Posts: 16,458
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Post by r. on Jan 15, 2017 16:17:55 GMT -5
Lemme tell ya fan, When I was born my mother asked the hospital if she could get a refund.
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Spider2024
Patti Mayonnaise
Dedicated 6,666th post to Irontyger
I believe in Joe Hendry.
Posts: 39,209
Member is Online
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Post by Spider2024 on Jan 15, 2017 17:32:13 GMT -5
I just won a dog show.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2017 17:57:21 GMT -5
I tell ya, no respect!
I called my doctor and told him I had diarrhea...he put me on hold.
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Sephiroth
Wade Wilson
Surviving
Posts: 28,900
Member is Online
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Post by Sephiroth on Jan 15, 2017 17:59:28 GMT -5
This thread is my job?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2017 18:01:50 GMT -5
"I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me? He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
I can't lie, Ladybugs was one of my favorite movies when I was really young.
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fw91
Patti Mayonnaise
FAN Idol All-Star: FAN Idol Season X and *Gavel* 2x Judges' Throwdown winner
Tribe has spoken for 2024 Mets
Posts: 38,931
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Post by fw91 on Jan 15, 2017 18:58:39 GMT -5
I can't lie, Ladybugs was one of my favorite movies when I was really young. At least I beat the check........
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Cranjis McBasketball
Crow T. Robot
Knew what the hell that thing was supposed to be
Peace Love and Nothing But
Posts: 41,905
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Post by Cranjis McBasketball on Jan 15, 2017 19:01:44 GMT -5
"I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me? He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect." I can't lie, Ladybugs was one of my favorite movies when I was really young. Mine too. Finally tracked it down on DVD last year.
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Post by BrodietheSlayer on Jan 15, 2017 19:07:36 GMT -5
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."
"My mother had morning sickness after I was born."
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Post by bibboid on Jan 15, 2017 19:10:23 GMT -5
My wife told me she wanted to have sex tonight...so I should make myself dinner and not wait up for her.
No respect.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2017 19:24:10 GMT -5
I asked my doctor if my heart was strong enough for sex, he said not if I jump in, y'know?
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The Unconquered Sun
King Koopa
He has no pants! What a heathen!
Lord of Storms and Kittens!
Posts: 11,548
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Post by The Unconquered Sun on Jan 15, 2017 19:31:24 GMT -5
I was so ugly as a kid my mom use to feed me with a sling shot.
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lionheart21
Patti Mayonnaise
Once did a thing...
Posts: 30,528
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Post by lionheart21 on Jan 16, 2017 10:23:07 GMT -5
"My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home."
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Post by Porky's Butthole on Jan 16, 2017 14:17:20 GMT -5
My wife's so ugly, then when I get head, it counts as anal! Ho!
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Push R Truth
Patti Mayonnaise
Unique and Special Snowflake, and a pants-less heathen.
Perpetually Constipated
Posts: 39,288
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Post by Push R Truth on Jan 16, 2017 14:20:57 GMT -5
So what?! So let's dance!
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The Unconquered Sun
King Koopa
He has no pants! What a heathen!
Lord of Storms and Kittens!
Posts: 11,548
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Post by The Unconquered Sun on Jan 16, 2017 15:09:48 GMT -5
I was so poor growing up- if I wasn't a boy, I'd have nothing to play with.
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Post by BrodietheSlayer on Jan 16, 2017 16:06:56 GMT -5
"I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people."
"I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it."
"My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend."
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 16, 2017 19:54:49 GMT -5
Not only that, I'm gettin' old! Hell, my insurance company sent me half a calendar. When I squeeze into a parking space I'm sexually satisfied. I told my doctor, "Doc, how can I stop aging so fast?" He handed me a revolver.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 16, 2017 20:21:56 GMT -5
Not only that, it's also my stepdad.
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beastboy
Trap-Jaw
Same Warrior channel!!!!
Posts: 313
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Post by beastboy on Jan 16, 2017 20:25:01 GMT -5
I was such an ugly baby that when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother.
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H-Virus
Hank Scorpio
A Real Contagious Experience
Posts: 5,962
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Post by H-Virus on Jan 16, 2017 20:49:45 GMT -5
Even my wife doesn't respect me. Last night I caught her in our bed with another man. I said "What the Hell is going on here?" She told me "It's just a dream, go back to sleep."
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