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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Mar 25, 2017 12:36:25 GMT -5
PAGE 37 PANEL 1:Front shot of Lénore leaving a police station, walking down a flight of stairs, a large sign being visible above her. She is looking in the distance, carrying a large bag over her shoulder, one of her gloves sticking out from it. Narration box: "The next day." PANEL 2:Close-up on her face, she looks deep in thought, but relaxed. PANEL 3:Same shot as before, but now she is looking slightly to her left side as something caught her attention. : "Hey, Lénore!" PANEL 4:A different angle shows Louis getting up from a nearby bench, waving at her. Lénore herself is visible in the foreground from the side. Lénore: "Louis! Good to see you! You came to pick me up?" PANEL 5:Front view of the two of them walking together. Louis: "Yeah. I figured you'd enjoy some company after a rough mission." PANEL 6:Side view of the two still walking. Louis is peeking from the side, looking at Lénore and pointing towards the station. Louis: "They weren't too hard on you, were they?" Lénore: "Nah. Just some formalities, taking my statement, checking if I needed medical attention, you know how it goes." PANEL 7:View from the opposite side. Lénore is looking at Louis, who is looking forward. Lénore: "By the way, do you know if they caught any of the cultists?" Louis: "Nope. They managed to escape but needless to say, the cops are on the lookout for them." "On the plus side, that could mean more bounties." PANEL 8:Front view of the two, with Lénore rubbing her eyebrows. Lénore: "I think I'll pass. Urgh. Not looking forward to going back to that mansion to get my bike and my rifle back." Louis: "Don't think that'll be necessary." PANEL 9:Perspective view of Anna sitting on Lénore's bike, with the rifle poking from a bag attached to the bike. Lénore: "Anna!!" Anna: "Hop in! We're dining out at the Phoenix! Louis' treat."
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Mar 26, 2017 11:32:38 GMT -5
PAGE 38 PANEL 1:Side view of Lénore climbing on the bike, with Louis standing to the side, his fists on his hips, looking grumpily at Anna. Louis: "I don't remember offering any invitation." PANEL 2:Front view of the three of them, their heads one behind the other. Lénore and Anna are already seated, while Louis is awkwardly trying to find some room on the bike. Anna: "Well, Lénore needs some R & R so we can't let her pay, and it's not like she's rolling in cash anyway." "And I brought us our ride, so I've done my part!" Louis: "(sigh)" "fine." PANEL 3:Side view of Anna looking over her shoulder towards Lénore. Anna: "So what are you gonna do now, Lénore?" PANEL 4:Close-up on Lénore, eyes closed, looking resigned. Lénore: "I guess I'll just stick to purse-snatchers for a while. I've had my fill of action." "As for RIGHT now..." PANEL 5:Half-page panel showing them riding away on the bike. Lénore: "I just want to eat and drink enough for me to regret it tomorrow!" Caption: THE END.
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Mar 27, 2017 13:16:12 GMT -5
Heya! Now that I have finished this, I would really like to hear you guys' thoughts and maybe advice. I realize that it's not exactly the most groundbreaking story out there; frankly, I'm not entirely sure if it's good, but I'm just very very happy that I finally completed a script. And, Hell, I like it. In the future, I'd like to work more on character interaction and development as I really kept it to a minimum here (intentionally so as I just wanted something simple and fairly quick to complete). Also, one thing I learned while writing this is that as fun as they are to watch, writing actions scenes is boooooorrrriiiing. You have to describe every single movement and every minute detail, it takes a lot of time and work, and yet it feels like the story isn't progressing at all because, well, it isn't. Don't get me wrong, I like having them, but it didn't occur to me until I did it that writing action scenes can actually be pretty dull, even if the scene is exciting in your head. So that's another motivation to focus more on characters.
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