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Post by thechase on Jun 20, 2020 14:57:29 GMT -5
Confession clears the conscience and enhances the soul. You have nothing to fear in life if you are willing to face up to the person you used to be and use it to form the person you'll be for life.
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Post by Joe Neglia on Jun 20, 2020 15:13:55 GMT -5
You shouldn't have made such an offer of course, even in jest, but I also question the mindset of anyone who would send nude pictures of themselves online for the sole purpose of changing the colour of their name on a forum. I'll take every lump I'm due for my part, but their reasons we're their own and I will not allow them to be shamed on it. If you're doing this in other threads, I will ban you.
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Post by Joe Neglia on Jun 20, 2020 15:17:58 GMT -5
You came clean, now what will you do with it? Are going to apologize to your victims and try to make amends? Because this statement to me is a good mea culpa, but I'm more concerned with the victims and how what you did affected them Everyone involved has been contacted. I will be more than willing to post name-redacted conversations when I get home in a few hours.
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lucas_lee
Hank Scorpio
Heel turn is finished, now stripping away my personality
Posts: 6,697
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Post by lucas_lee on Jun 20, 2020 15:27:42 GMT -5
You came clean, now what will you do with it? Are going to apologize to your victims and try to make amends? Because this statement to me is a good mea culpa, but I'm more concerned with the victims and how what you did affected them Everyone involved has been contacted. I will be more than willing to post name-redacted conversations when I get home in a few hours. Good on you then. It's up to them to give you forgiveness but I'd keep those convos between you two private, unless they give consent.
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Post by dirtyoldman on Jun 20, 2020 15:31:29 GMT -5
Yeah, we've no need to see them. If you're all cool between yourselves then that should be enough for everyone else.
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Post by Joe Neglia on Jun 20, 2020 15:45:59 GMT -5
Everyone involved has been contacted. I will be more than willing to post name-redacted conversations when I get home in a few hours. Good on you then. It's up to them to give you forgiveness but I'd keep those convos between you two private, unless they give consent. Fair enough.
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Bub (BLM)
Patti Mayonnaise
advocates duck on rodent violence
Fed. Up.
Posts: 37,742
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Post by Bub (BLM) on Jun 20, 2020 17:07:16 GMT -5
While I've never done anything of that nature, to say I've never been abusive or malicious to other humans would be an outright lie. Your post took dignity and integrity, which is something I am sore to see right now in our world.
So, I won't make a patronizing "forgiveness" post as I have nothing to forgive. I'll instead make an "I'm not judging you" post. We all deserve the chance to get better. My wife once told me that choosing to be good is a lot harder than being good by nature, but you really know that the ones who choose to be good care. Maybe that can help you and others be less hard on yourselves as you continue to be better.
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Post by jp49er80 on Jun 20, 2020 17:23:43 GMT -5
We all deserve to be allowed to reform. If you can be honest and upfront and remorseful, that's all you really need. The tone of your post versus some of the others right now is starkly different. I commend you.
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J. Hova
Don Corleone
Emotionally exhausted and morally bankrupt
Posts: 1,986
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Post by J. Hova on Jun 21, 2020 0:23:18 GMT -5
We all have skeletons. Let those without sin cast the first stone. There is always a time in your past that you look back on a year, five years, ten years or more and think, "Boy, I let that get a little out of control."
It's good to have personal growth as you get older. I'd like to think that since you were able to have a conversation with them that it wasn't perceived as something by them that had a tremendous impact or impediment to their lives.
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clifford
King Koopa
Shingo Takagi stan
Posts: 10,680
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Post by clifford on Jun 21, 2020 2:30:41 GMT -5
I don't recognise the person I was 12 years ago. People grow, they mature, they develop common sense, and you hope that they do all this without shrugging off or explaining away their previous actions.
You owned up to a mistake. You came forward with it and didn't try to justify it or diminish it. It was wrong, and you acknowledge that. How else can you learn from it and grow if you don't?
In my younger years here (I joined this forum at 17; I'm 32 now with a wife and child) I silently disagreed with many of the policies put in place by you, Madison. The younger version of me saw it as censorship, finger wagging, chastising.
What it actually was was you and other mods building this community from the ground up into a place that is tolerant, informed and respectful. Two of my greatest loves, wrestling and video games, have easily the most toxic fanbases on the internet. This place is a haven for both subjects. That is down to you.
What I'm trying to say, in a very roundabout way, is thank you for continuing to show us how to do it right.
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Post by Johnny Waffles on Jun 21, 2020 10:29:19 GMT -5
I was part of the forum years ago, and I was harassed and bullied by mods, and even had pictures of myself demanded. I left soon after. Have those in charge actually changed their abusive behavior?
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Post by Joe Neglia on Jun 21, 2020 10:54:20 GMT -5
I was part of the forum years ago, and I was harassed and bullied by mods, and even had pictures of myself demanded. I left soon after. Have those in charge actually changed their abusive behavior? Those are some pretty heavy and serious, but very vague, charges. I'd like to know more information on this. You can PM me if you would like. Which mods demanded pictures, what name were you using at the time, and what time frame are we talking about?
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Post by Joe Neglia on Jun 21, 2020 11:49:16 GMT -5
Props for owning up about it and taking responsibility. That's all you can do at this point beyond apologise to the people who sent you the photos. Is it sexual abuse? Not in my opinion. Sounds like two consenting adults who weren't forced into doing anything they weren't comfortable with. .. unless they were blackmailed or underage. Thats a different story. Receiving nudes is a common practice these days. Especially if you're on Tinder and the like. Believe it or not, some women actually enjoy sending them too. Not all women are "taken advantage of" whenever a guy takes the lead. If she says no or insinuates that she's not okay with something and you still do it... then that's abuse in my eyes. But I know you're not looking for anybody to justify your actions. I guess I'll just leave it there man. Abuse or not, it was most definitely taking advantage of my position, and it was wrong. Again, I've contacted everyone involved and apologized; everyone has been understanding and said it was no big deal, but all appreciated me coming to them about it. This doesn't and won't clear my conscience on it, I'm not doing this to make myself feel better and absolve myself on the matter. It's not about me getting sympathy for being "brave" and admitting something. It's something I have to own and go forth with. Was it as bad as any of what's coming out of the actual wrestling world? No, but I see it as a starting point toward that sort of behavior that was curbed quickly. Others might have gone further. I'm doing this as much for being open about myself as it is a wake-up call for all of us here in the fan and FAN communities. We've always had a vague idea of being a better place for people here, but the reality is, that's evolved and formed over the years as we get more informed and acquainted with how things should be. We've been heading in the right direction, but never quite "there". Take for instance the "women of wrestling" pic threads. What should have been threads showcasing talent would often be overrun by lingerie pics and the like. And we let that go until just a couple of years ago. It took us a while to fully realize "Yeah, this is pretty skuzzy" and jettisoned them. The main thing I'm hoping comes out of this thread is that some of those reading it will see and realize that some of their own actions, no matter how minute and minor in the greater scheme of things, can contribute to this mindset and keep it continuing. It can be stopped. It has to stop. We can do better.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2020 13:10:38 GMT -5
Props for owning up about it and taking responsibility. That's all you can do at this point beyond apologise to the people who sent you the photos. Is it sexual abuse? Not in my opinion. Sounds like two consenting adults who weren't forced into doing anything they weren't comfortable with. .. unless they were blackmailed or underage. Thats a different story. Receiving nudes is a common practice these days. Especially if you're on Tinder and the like. Believe it or not, some women actually enjoy sending them too. Not all women are "taken advantage of" whenever a guy takes the lead. If she says no or insinuates that she's not okay with something and you still do it... then that's abuse in my eyes. But I know you're not looking for anybody to justify your actions. I guess I'll just leave it there man. Abuse or not, it was most definitely taking advantage of my position, and it was wrong. Again, I've contacted everyone involved and apologized; everyone has been understanding and said it was no big deal, but all appreciated me coming to them about it. This doesn't and won't clear my conscience on it, I'm not doing this to make myself feel better and absolve myself on the matter. It's not about me getting sympathy for being "brave" and admitting something. It's something I have to own and go forth with. Was it as bad as any of what's coming out of the actual wrestling world? No, but I see it as a starting point toward that sort of behavior that was curbed quickly. Others might have gone further. I'm doing this as much for being open about myself as it is a wake-up call for all of us here in the fan and FAN communities. We've always had a vague idea of being a better place for people here, but the reality is, that's evolved and formed over the years as we get more informed and acquainted with how things should be. We've been heading in the right direction, but never quite "there". Take for instance the "women of wrestling" pic threads. What should have been threads showcasing talent would often be overrun by lingerie pics and the like. And we let that go until just a couple of years ago. It took us a while to fully realize "Yeah, this is pretty skuzzy" and jettisoned them. The main thing I'm hoping comes out of this thread is that some of those reading it will see and realize that some of their own actions, no matter how minute and minor in the greater scheme of things, can contribute to this mindset and keep it continuing. It can be stopped. It has to stop. We can do better. And fair play to you for that. But in response to your points about the lingerie pics in the Diva thread, I think that's pretty innocent to be honest. I mean... There's sexual abuse/harassment and then there's saying somebody looks hot in a bikini. I don't see anything wrong with that. It's natural. We are human. If you go on Twitter, you will see women fawning over the guy in 50 Shades for example. Going into great detail about the things they wish he would do to them. Same with guy wrestlers. I don't particularly see anything bad or wrong about that. At the end of the day, we are sexual beings by nature. As long as we are not doing anything illegal, I don't see anything wrong with sharing a fantasy. I think a lot of people lately get into this mindset that "only guys enjoy sex" and "women are delicate creatures who can't handle themselves" or something. It's actually pretty sexist in my opinion. I mean, where do you draw the line? Is it sexual assault if I rub my girlfriends leg randomly or what about if you misread the signs in a club and kiss a girl? Based on my own experiences, some women like a guy who can take the lead. I know you don't want anyone to justify your actions and it's a good thing that you have a conscience about it because it means you are a good person deep down. But my response to your confession is this. "Who's to say they didn't want to send the pictures?"... Have you even considered that possibility? I have been on Tinder since 2014 and I have dated and chatted to loads of women. Maybe it's because of my age bracket but "sexting" and "sending nudes" is just the way society is these days. It is not uncommon. And I must add that I have received pictures randomly without my consent on Snapchat. I never even hinted that I wanted them. So by this logic, have I been sexually harassed too? I played Devils advocate in the Ligero thread before I knew all the details. Before a bunch of other guys were outed. I am appalled at some of the stories. And I can see why they made you reflect on this and realize "Hey, maybe I'm the same" but the truth is... You're just like most guys man. You didn't force anyone to do anything they didn't want to do. Infact, I doubt anyone really cared about a colored font that much... But that's for them to say.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2020 16:25:53 GMT -5
Individuals are going to feel differently about things. I can feel 'yuck' about something without regard to its legality. Risque photos really don't cross any hard lines unless they were taken/shared without consent, but I personally feel differently about ogling women wrestlers as opposed to, for example, a sex worker whose profession is making people ogle them. That's just me though.
Sharing explicit fantasies about someone in social media without consent is absolutely sexual harassment. It may not seem like a big deal when it's a celebrity who might never read it, but what if it's targeting a regular person who might be disturbed to read such a thing and humiliated that it's available for others to read?
Also, sending explicit photographs to someone who hasn't asked for them/consented to receiving them is sexual harassment. The fact that the receiver likes the photos doesn't make it not sexual harassment, if they were initially sent without the receiver's consent. I've also had women send me their naughty bits without me asking for them.
Asking for nudes in exchange for a favor is also sexual harassment, as the OP has confessed. I can also confess to committing sexual harassment in my younger days. Did I know at the time that there was anything really 'wrong' or potentially harmful about my actions at the time? No, but I've learned. Hopefully we are all learning and starting to realize the impact of our behavior. And tbh it's not really that hard to not be a scumbag except for people who really are just scumbags.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2020 16:37:01 GMT -5
Abuse or not, it was most definitely taking advantage of my position, and it was wrong. Again, I've contacted everyone involved and apologized; everyone has been understanding and said it was no big deal, but all appreciated me coming to them about it. This doesn't and won't clear my conscience on it, I'm not doing this to make myself feel better and absolve myself on the matter. It's not about me getting sympathy for being "brave" and admitting something. It's something I have to own and go forth with. Was it as bad as any of what's coming out of the actual wrestling world? No, but I see it as a starting point toward that sort of behavior that was curbed quickly. Others might have gone further. I'm doing this as much for being open about myself as it is a wake-up call for all of us here in the fan and FAN communities. We've always had a vague idea of being a better place for people here, but the reality is, that's evolved and formed over the years as we get more informed and acquainted with how things should be. We've been heading in the right direction, but never quite "there". Take for instance the "women of wrestling" pic threads. What should have been threads showcasing talent would often be overrun by lingerie pics and the like. And we let that go until just a couple of years ago. It took us a while to fully realize "Yeah, this is pretty skuzzy" and jettisoned them. The main thing I'm hoping comes out of this thread is that some of those reading it will see and realize that some of their own actions, no matter how minute and minor in the greater scheme of things, can contribute to this mindset and keep it continuing. It can be stopped. It has to stop. We can do better. And fair play to you for that. But in response to your points about the lingerie pics in the Diva thread, I think that's pretty innocent to be honest. I mean... There's sexual abuse/harassment and then there's saying somebody looks hot in a bikini. I don't see anything wrong with that. It's natural. We are human. If you go on Twitter, you will see women fawning over the guy in 50 Shades for example. Going into great detail about the things they wish he would do to them. Same with guy wrestlers. I don't particularly see anything bad or wrong about that. At the end of the day, we are sexual beings by nature. As long as we are not doing anything illegal, I don't see anything wrong with sharing a fantasy. I think a lot of people lately get into this mindset that "only guys enjoy sex" and "women are delicate creatures who can't handle themselves" or something. It's actually pretty sexist in my opinion. I mean, where do you draw the line? Is it sexual assault if I rub my girlfriends leg randomly or what about if you misread the signs in a club and kiss a girl? Based on my own experiences, some women like a guy who can take the lead. I know you don't want anyone to justify your actions and it's a good thing that you have a conscience about it because it means you are a good person deep down. But my response to your confession is this. "Who's to say they didn't want to send the pictures?"... Have you even considered that possibility? I have been on Tinder since 2014 and I have dated and chatted to loads of women. Maybe it's because of my age bracket but "sexting" and "sending nudes" is just the way society is these days. It is not uncommon. And I must add that I have received pictures randomly without my consent on Snapchat. I never even hinted that I wanted them. So by this logic, have I been sexually harassed too? I played Devils advocate in the Ligero thread before I knew all the details. Before a bunch of other guys were outed. I am appalled at some of the stories. And I can see why they made you reflect on this and realize "Hey, maybe I'm the same" but the truth is... You're just like most guys man. You didn't force anyone to do anything they didn't want to do. Infact, I doubt anyone really cared about a colored font that much... But that's for them to say. A. Yes you were. B. Bots sending you snapchats is not the same thing. Neither are webcam artists doing it. C. I have been on tinder to. I have shared nudes and received nudes. I am openly into bdsm and am very open about my role as dominant. But here's the thing you didnt seem to understand in the Ligero thread or here. When you meet someone on Tinder you meet them as an equal. You learn about each other and you click you can do whatever the f*** you want. Its consensual and it's awesome. Lusting in any direction, male to female, female to male, male to male, female to female and all genders and identies in between is beautiful. The power is balanced. My issue with a lot of people and frankly you, is that we are examining relationships where the power is imbalanced. Ligero had a position of power and authority and used it to satisfy his needs. Madison used his position. Film producers used their position, the results of which we saw. You are equating the abuse of power to normal human desire. They are not the same thing.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2020 17:43:09 GMT -5
Seems like you're missing the point.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2020 17:48:42 GMT -5
Seems like you're missing the point. I'm not wasting any more time on a brick wall. For the record Madison, thank you for acknowledging what you did and trying to make amends. That's significantly more than most.
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Brood Lone Wolf Funker
Ozymandius
Got fined anyway. Possibly a Moose
James Franco is the white Donald Glover
Posts: 61,868
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Post by Brood Lone Wolf Funker on Jun 21, 2020 21:36:39 GMT -5
I may need to step away from this place for a few days but best of luck to everyone here
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Post by Dave the Dave on Jun 22, 2020 9:27:57 GMT -5
I’m not gonna pat your back for coming clean but I’m glad this doesn’t happen and hasn’t happened for a long time.
I am a casual observer here. For 15 years I’ve been just a poster. Don’t really pm people. To know that even this small amount of power yields such results. Blech.
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