My mother passed away

[Fade is a CodyCryBaby]

I feel a little weird discussing personal matters on FAN but I post here a lot, so it kind of feels like a place I can talk and express stuff.

I’d been caretaking for her since around 2016/2017. I moved back home because she’s always had issues (obesity, depression, anxiety, heart failure, kidney issues, etc. she had been on dialysis and always needed medical attention in different departments due to her plethora of issues.

It all finally built up and she passed away last night. Kevin Nash’s words about Scott rang in my head “the person I’ve spent the most time with in my life”. I’m a mommas boy. Always have been. And damn it, unfortunately (fortunately?) always will.

It’s just my father and I now (not a lot of family due to several unfortunate reasons). We’re trying to be strong for one another. One breaks down, the other is strong, rinse and repeat. Grief is..I can’t explain it. One of my best friends passed away in 2007. My great-uncle was murdered in 2000. But this feels different. It feels like feeling everything and nothing all at once.

I tried these last years. Taking her places (she was a hermit, like me), taking her out to eat (because she loved to) tending to her in all of the medical low’s. My mother was a very, very, very complicated complex person that dealt with an incredibly grueling upbringing. Her mother wasn’t there when she was young. She had no relationship with her father. When her mother brought her to America she got her associates degree. Social Worker. She went on disability eventually but my mother was a woman who loved to dance. Loved to sing. The most passionate person I have ever met in my life. And that was with all the hurdles and multitude of issues she dealt with until she passed.

It’s very hard to do anything right now. Eating is..nearly impossible. I’ve unfortunately buckled to cigs again after dropping them since October. I know, and I’m trying, to be strong for her.

Anyway, I just felt like putting this into the universe. People have been incredibly supportive in this time. And I guess, and as stereotypical as it sounds in matters such as these…. Hug your mom if she’s still around. Ask her what she’s thinking. We only get one in this life. Thank you, fan.

[Cranjis McBasketball]

Sorry for your loss.

[Marvelous1LUFC]

Sorry to hear that R.I.P to you mother

[Clash, Never a Meter Maid]

All of my sincere condolences, man. She sounded like a lovely woman and you obviously deeply cared for one another. *hug*

[Timeless Hayterade]

My condolences

[Deleted]

All prayers and condolences your way deeply sorry for your loss.

[clifford]

I'm so sorry for your loss. If it's of any help to you at this time at all, your words make your love for her shine through, and her life was a better one for having you in it.

[TWERKIN' MAGGLE]

I'm so sorry, you and your mother are in my thoughts.

[Milkman Norm]

So sorry for your loss

[Jumpin' Jesse Walsh]

So sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences.

[The Thread Barbi]

Man, stay strong and live well. Condolences.

[Matt]

Sorry for your loss.

[EvenBaldobombHasAJob]

Deepest condolences, man

[Display Name]

My sincere condolences. After losing my dad nearly 5 years ago, the only advice I can give you is to allow yourself to feel and let that emotion out.

[Fade is a CodyCryBaby]

Mar 27, 2022 17:05:08 GMT -5 clifford said:

I'm so sorry for your loss. If it's of any help to you at this time at all, your words make your love for her shine through, and her life was a better one for having you in it.

Teared me up, my guy. Thank you.

Mar 27, 2022 20:15:23 GMT -5 Display Name said:

My sincere condolences. After losing my dad nearly 5 years ago, the only advice I can give you is to allow yourself to feel and let that emotion out.

Thank you so much.

Ty everyone. Really means the world, thankyew fan.

[The_Don_Mecha]

Mar 27, 2022 16:34:03 GMT -5 Fade is a CodyCryBaby said:

I feel a little weird discussing personal matters on FAN but I post here a lot, so it kind of feels like a place I can talk and express stuff.

I’d been caretaking for her since around 2016/2017. I moved back home because she’s always had issues (obesity, depression, anxiety, heart failure, kidney issues, etc. she had been on dialysis and always needed medical attention in different departments due to her plethora of issues.

It all finally built up and she passed away last night. Kevin Nash’s words about Scott rang in my head “the person I’ve spent the most time with in my life”. I’m a mommas boy. Always have been. And damn it, unfortunately (fortunately?) always will.

It’s just my father and I now (not a lot of family due to several unfortunate reasons). We’re trying to be strong for one another. One breaks down, the other is strong, rinse and repeat. Grief is..I can’t explain it. One of my best friends passed away in 2007. My great-uncle was murdered in 2000. But this feels different. It feels like feeling everything and nothing all at once.

I tried these last years. Taking her places (she was a hermit, like me), taking her out to eat (because she loved to) tending to her in all of the medical low’s. My mother was a very, very, very complicated complex person that dealt with an incredibly grueling upbringing. Her mother wasn’t there when she was young. She had no relationship with her father. When her mother brought her to America she got her associates degree. Social Worker. She went on disability eventually but my mother was a woman who loved to dance. Loved to sing. The most passionate person I have ever met in my life. And that was with all the hurdles and multitude of issues she dealt with until she passed.

It’s very hard to do anything right now. Eating is..nearly impossible. I’ve unfortunately buckled to cigs again after dropping them since October. I know, and I’m trying, to be strong for her.

Anyway, I just felt like putting this into the universe. People have been incredibly supportive in this time. And I guess, and as stereotypical as it sounds in matters such as these…. Hug your mom if she’s still around. Ask her what she’s thinking. We only get one in this life. Thank you, fan.

Man, grieve how you need to. I don't even know you and I want you to know that I'm rooting for you to have a sense of peace, healing and recovery. Take some time. Don't be totally alone. Don't shut off people over temporary issues permanently. Honor your mom in the way that you see fit. Take care of yourself.

I speak from my current experience. If you need to speak, PM me. I'm available to listen.

[Fade is a CodyCryBaby]

Mar 27, 2022 22:51:59 GMT -5 The_Don_Mecha said:

Mar 27, 2022 16:34:03 GMT -5 Fade is a CodyCryBaby said:

I feel a little weird discussing personal matters on FAN but I post here a lot, so it kind of feels like a place I can talk and express stuff.

I’d been caretaking for her since around 2016/2017. I moved back home because she’s always had issues (obesity, depression, anxiety, heart failure, kidney issues, etc. she had been on dialysis and always needed medical attention in different departments due to her plethora of issues.

It all finally built up and she passed away last night. Kevin Nash’s words about Scott rang in my head “the person I’ve spent the most time with in my life”. I’m a mommas boy. Always have been. And damn it, unfortunately (fortunately?) always will.

It’s just my father and I now (not a lot of family due to several unfortunate reasons). We’re trying to be strong for one another. One breaks down, the other is strong, rinse and repeat. Grief is..I can’t explain it. One of my best friends passed away in 2007. My great-uncle was murdered in 2000. But this feels different. It feels like feeling everything and nothing all at once.

I tried these last years. Taking her places (she was a hermit, like me), taking her out to eat (because she loved to) tending to her in all of the medical low’s. My mother was a very, very, very complicated complex person that dealt with an incredibly grueling upbringing. Her mother wasn’t there when she was young. She had no relationship with her father. When her mother brought her to America she got her associates degree. Social Worker. She went on disability eventually but my mother was a woman who loved to dance. Loved to sing. The most passionate person I have ever met in my life. And that was with all the hurdles and multitude of issues she dealt with until she passed.

It’s very hard to do anything right now. Eating is..nearly impossible. I’ve unfortunately buckled to cigs again after dropping them since October. I know, and I’m trying, to be strong for her.

Anyway, I just felt like putting this into the universe. People have been incredibly supportive in this time. And I guess, and as stereotypical as it sounds in matters such as these…. Hug your mom if she’s still around. Ask her what she’s thinking. We only get one in this life. Thank you, fan.

Man, grieve how you need to. I don't even know you and I want you to know that I'm rooting for you to have a sense of peace, healing and recovery. Take some time. Don't be totally alone. Don't shut off people over temporary issues permanently. Honor your mom in the way that you see fit. Take care of yourself.

I speak from my current experience. If you need to speak, PM me. I'm available to listen.

Really hit me in the heart, man. Thank you sincerely 🙏 I’m taking those words to heart more than you know. Thank you.

[JIMBOB]

Very sorry to hear about your mother. Praying for you and your dad through this difficult time.

[smokinvokoun86]

Hey, I’m sorry to hear that man. 🫂

[Evil Homer]

Very sorry for your loss