Socially speaking, what are adults supposed to be into?

[agent817]

Looking on the console wars thread, there was one part that stood out to me. What is considered socially acceptable for adults to be into? I mean we are well into "nerd culture" that at this point, being into animation, comics, etc. might be acceptable but in the past, or even with some people currently, some would believe that a 40+ person dressing like Iron Man, even for a con, might be considered "sad." In the past, it seemed that adult men should be into drinking, sports, gardening, etc.

What are your thoughts?

["Cane Dewey" Johnson]

Mid-life crises?

[Spider2024]

Hobbies, I guess. Like woodworking, art, polishing your car, etc. Or spending most of your leisure time on the couch watching TV or reading.

(Luckily, it's perfectly normal for today's adult to like comic book heroes and video games, since we all grew up enjoying that stuff.)

[Fade is a CodyCryBaby]

There’s..no limits now. People of all ages be doing everything. What should adults be doing? Who’s to say. But I guess garnering as much experience in different things as possible is a good one.

[BorneAgain]

While trends generally change over time, the following seem to be typically accepted for later age adults:

-Golf
-Music
-Reading (not comics or graphic novels unless you're in Europe)
-Movies (not animation)
-TV Shows (again not animation or kid/youth oriented, Simpsons/Family Guy excepted)
-Traditional card games
-Low key outdoor stuff (Fishing, Hiking, Hunting)
-Cooking
-Photography
-Certain arts (painting, sculpting, carving)
-Home improvement activities
-Specific types of collections (stamps, postcards, photos, etc)

Stuff outside this purview like video games, LARPing, cosplay, internet related hobbies outside Facebook/mobile games, basically anything that became popular with youths in the last 40 years? It still hasn't quite hit the point of full social acceptability for the middle aged and up.

[Burst]

Okay good, I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought this seemed like an odd little tangent.

It definitely depends on where you are and what you're around, though as has been mentioned, at the very least certain flavors of nerd culture are mainstream enough that it's not nearly as reputation ruining as it may have been 30-40 years ago.

Still, you got the sense from certain folks growing up in rural Ohio, the "acceptable and manly" hobbies mainly tended to be some combination of hunting, shooting, fishing, football, working on cars, golfing, NASCAR, wrassling, drinking, drinking in bars, drinking while watching football, drinking while hunting... you get the idea. And then at age 50 you're allowed to get either a Corvette jacket or a Mustang jacket.

EDIT: Oh yes, forgot the socially acceptable collecting hobbies, like antiquing, stamps, baseball cards, and coins. I'll still never forget the time I was told by someone working a hotel during a fur con, that from their experience the coin collector and antique conventions were apparently far worse behaved than the furries and far meaner to the staff, which is pretty impressive to think about.

[Deleted]

I’m very involved in the convention scene and also run my own where all the profits go to a charity I’m involved with.

A 40+ year-old man dressed as Iron Man is far from sad, and anyone who feels otherwise should see the reaction a movie-quality Iron Man suit gets at a children’s hospital. Those suits take an insane amount of skill to build.

Personally, my take on it is that anyone who isn’t paying my bills has no say on what I do or don’t do for fun.

[Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill]

Porn.

[CMWaters]

I prefer to live by this quote from C.S. Lewis, writer of the Narnia books.:
"Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But then into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development: When I was ten I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."

[Burst]

I can't remember which Stephen King story this was from (I want to say it was "The Body"), but I'm also reminded of an epilogue where the protagonist was recounting what happened to everybody that was part of the story, and all the "cool kids" from the high school pretty much were getting the rebelliousness out of their system before adult lives of working at the mill, leaving work and going straight to the bar, getting in a fight and getting thrown out, walking home drunk and fighting with the wife, rinse and repeat.

[Malcolm]

Boring shit.

[BlackoutCreature]

Based on my experience it's usually booze, bowling, and whatever the latest trendy show on cable television is.

[Jumpin' Jesse Walsh]

Spongebob answered this pretty definitely.

[wildojinx]

Apr 29, 2023 19:34:30 GMT -5 CMWaters said:

I prefer to live by this quote from Lewis Carroll, writer of "Alice in Wonderland":
"Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But then into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development: When I was ten I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."

That's actually a CS Lewis quote. Still a valid response though.

[ayumidah]

I dipped my toe back into fandom the last few years during the pandemic and it was shocking how many younger members of fandom tried to gatekeep it from older members.

[Clash, Never a Meter Maid]

Don’t pay much attention to it. Some of my interests are probably typical for a 30-something (sports, fishing, some cars, world history), others are pretty nerdy or kiddish (kids’ cartoons, comic media, video games, wrestling, etc).

[CMWaters]

Apr 29, 2023 20:00:06 GMT -5 wildojinx said:

Apr 29, 2023 19:34:30 GMT -5 CMWaters said:

I prefer to live by this quote from Lewis Carroll, writer of "Alice in Wonderland":
"Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But then into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development: When I was ten I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."

That's actually a CS Lewis quote. Still a valid response though.

Ah, my mistake about the authors.

[schizo]

Iam 38, and Iam still into stuff like video games, wrestling, cartoons, comic book movies and such, don’t give a single solitary f*** what Iam “suppose” to be into

[ace]

Whatever they enjoy?


Let’s break this s down briefly to explain why there are stigmas on some things….and why they are almost wholly nonsense. This is leftover jargon from the last generation to hit adulthood. But not them…them being yelled at by the generation before them. It’s just carrying forward beliefs passed down from a time where two things were true that haven’t been for a long time.

1. There were less entertainment options when your grandparents were yelling at your parents to put childish things away. Video games became popular in the 80s. People who had kids in the 50s and 60s don’t even know what the appeal is. So their 80s grandkids become adults and it’s time to put those childish things (that weren’t a part of my childhood) away. Same with being a fan of movies or anything else. Your grandparents had 3 channels when they were growing up. Their kids had cable and vcrs and could make it part of their lives. Their kids had more. Todays kids have streaming and more. Shit TVs changed shapes. Pick anything.

2. Previous generations believing they had it harder dates back to each generation having great wars that disrupted families and lives. Generational loss, sadness, fears and anger. Passed down and used to target the next gen they think has it easier. Now…a funny thing happened to Gen X.  They were raised by angry, unhappy people who had the highest divorce rates and targeted their anger as always…but Gen X actually did have it easier. Which is why they threw less shit at their kids. Combined with the last great technological boom that put computers in your pocket and made information that used to take work attainable with the push of a convenient button…Millenials had it even easier. These two generations are why adults now keep their hobbies going and ignore the past generation. Divorces? Way down.

Gen Z is watching social media and radical politics destroy the world and their future and will be the first generation in a while to have it harder than the last one. They have to fight for the things that the last two didn’t. Which means they’ll likely step off niche hobbies a bit and tell their kids to put away childish things when they become adults too.

Until then…just like what you like. Anyone judging it resents their own life and that they listened to the older person who told them to do it.

[Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!!]

Being an adult means not giving a shit about whether or not your hobbies are adult or not. I'm 36, holding down a good job with a house and an active social life. If some boomer thinks I'm not an adult just because I read comics that's their problem.