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Post by Red 'n' Black Reggie on May 27, 2007 13:54:07 GMT -5
*Batista is at a strip club buying a beer, he pays for it with a $5, and the bartender starts to put the money in the register* Batista: "Excuse me, but that's my change...and I'm going to be needing it back. Bartender: "I'm sorry, I thought it was a tip." *Teddy materializes* "You thought you were pretty slick trying to pocket that money, lets see how slick you are when you go one on one...WITH THE UNDAHTAKAH!" *Undertaker peers out from behind a woman while getting a lap dance* "GIVE ME A MINUTE DAMN IT!" i almost wet myself laughing at that.
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SAJ Forth
Wade Wilson
Jamaican WCF Crazy!
Half Man-Half Amazing
Posts: 27,214
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Post by SAJ Forth on May 27, 2007 20:32:42 GMT -5
Batista The Indian Giver. Tonight's Episode:Trash Day
Batista:That garbage is mine, and I'am gonna be needing it back.*Hahahaha*
Garbage Man:What are you an idiot?*ooooooooo*
Batista:TEDDY!!!!!*Hahahaha*
Long:Garbage man. You will go one-on-one... WITH THA UNDATAKA!!!!!*Hahahahaha*
Undertaker:Dammit not again!!!!!*Hahahaha*
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2007 20:42:06 GMT -5
*Batista is at a strip club buying a beer, he pays for it with a $5, and the bartender starts to put the money in the register* Batista: "Excuse me, but that's my change...and I'm going to be needing it back. Bartender: "I'm sorry, I thought it was a tip." *Teddy materializes* "You thought you were pretty slick trying to pocket that money, lets see how slick you are when you go one on one...WITH THE UNDAHTAKAH!" *Undertaker peers out from behind a woman while getting a lap dance* "GIVE ME A MINUTE DAMN IT!" lmao this is the best one in the whole thread.
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SAJ Forth
Wade Wilson
Jamaican WCF Crazy!
Half Man-Half Amazing
Posts: 27,214
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Post by SAJ Forth on May 27, 2007 21:52:59 GMT -5
Batista On Halloween
Batista*Dressed As Frankenstien*:Here ya go kids.
Kids:Thanks
Batista*Pointing to kid in a Shrek costume*:Hey kid. That Snickers is mine, and I'am gonna be needing it back.
Shrek:No Doo-Doo Head!!!!!
Batista:Ok kid I'll show you who's the Doo-Doo Head!!!!! TEDDY!!!!!
Long*Dressed as Hobo*:Ok lil' playa. You goin' one-on-one... WITH THE UNDATAKA!!!!!
Cole*In A Marilyn Monroe costume*OH MY!!!!!
Undertaker*Wearing clown wig*:Dammit Teddy I'am not fighting a kid!!!!!
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Post by Hobby Drifter on May 27, 2007 22:51:48 GMT -5
Batista: TEDDY!!!!
*cuts to backstage in a room full of every kind of table imaginable*
Taker has Teddy up in the air.
Taker: One on one with the Undertaker! *Teddy goes through a table*
Taker: One on one with the Undertaker! *Teddy goes through a pool table*
Taker: One on one with the Undertaker! *Teddy goes through a poker table*
Taker: One on one with the Undertaker! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Teddy goes through an announce table*
Michael Cole (still dressed as Marylin Monroe for some reason): Oh my!
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What?
Don Corleone
Mr. Money in Teh Banned.
Tu que pasa? You ain't even in my clasa.
Posts: 2,036
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Post by What? on May 28, 2007 2:35:14 GMT -5
Christmas Day in the Batista household.
Kids: Thanks for all these great presents Dad!
Batista: Yea about the swingset...come Boxing Day, I'm gona be needing it back!
Kids: But Dad...
Batista: Teddy!
*T-Long appears from the kitchen, turkey baster in hand*
Long: Now now children! You can't disrespect your father on Christmas day playas! Tonight you wll go one on one with THA UNDATAKAH!
*Taker preparing stuffing*
Taker: I can't even get Christmas off?
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on May 28, 2007 5:02:17 GMT -5
This should be his new line: "Yeah, thats my title....and come Sunday...I'm gonna be needing it back. Don't worry if I don't win it back on Sunday, Teddy will just give me rematch after rematch until I get it done!" It should be an angle where someone beats up Teddy every time hes about to give Batista a shot, and batista must use his detective skills to find out who. License to print money. And yeah, I'm totally into quoting posts 7 pages old. ;D
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Post by Red 'n' Black Reggie on May 28, 2007 5:14:04 GMT -5
batista running the boy scouts...
batista: well done, little johnny, you got your camping badge! lttle johnny: thanks, batista! batista: you know, johnny, that badge is mine, and this sunday... i'm gonna be needing that back! johnny: but i earned it! B: TEDDY! teddy:(in a boyscouts uniform) so ya aint giving batista his badge shot, eh playa? well let me tell you, tonight it is going to be little johnny going one on one with... THE UNDATAKAAA! undertaker:(helping an old woman across the road) oh for god's sake, can't you see i'm in the middle of something here!?!?
______________________________________
batista is stood in front of a vending machine, purchasing a packet of crisps. unfortunately, the machine is jammed, and the crisps dont come out.
batista: you know, that was my money, and this sunday... i'm gonna be needing it back. *silence* batista: i said THAT WAS MY MONEY AND I'LL BE NEEDING IT BACK!!! *silence* batista: TEDDY! teddy long: well playa, how about you go one on one with... THE UNDERTAKAAAAH!! undertaker: oh for god's sake. *chokeslams vending machine*
________________________________________
batista is forced to hit the streets and become... a drug dealer!
stoner: hey, man thanks for that weed, dude. batista: you know, that's my weed, and this sunday... i'm gonna be needing it back! S: but i, uh, you know, smoked it. B: TEDDY! teddy: so ya aint givin' batista his weed, eh dawg? well tonight, you're gonna be going one on one with... THE UNDATAKA!!! *speed dials undertaker* undertaker: dammit, teddy, no. i cant wrestle anyway, because of my arm, and even if i could, i wouldnt be attacking some random guy who wont give batista back whatever the hell he lost this time. i'm in texas getting physio on my arm. i am not coming all the way to wherever the hell you are, just to assault some innocent bystander. TL: well then, playa, you will be going one on one... undertaker: that's it, i'm changing my damn phone number.
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Post by Topher is Human on May 28, 2007 5:50:02 GMT -5
Batista is at his fathers funeral.
Batista *greiving over casket*: Why did you have to go? Ohh look, the make up people polished that watch I gave you on you birthday, just before you... *cries*... such a nice watch...*gains a sinister smirk* Hey dad, that watch? that's mine and I'm gonna be needing it back! *silence* Batista *angrily*: I'M GONNA BE NEEDING IT BACK! *everyone else gasps, Teddy's head pops out of the Holy Water bowl* Teddy: Alright Mr. Batista, you heard your son... *nothing* Batista: TEDDY! Teddy: Alright corpsey, tonight you get to go one on one with... THE UNDATAKAH! Grieving widow: An Undertaker? No, you have it wrong, he's getting cremated Teddy: No... not an undertaker... THE UNDATAKAH! *Undertaker (appropriately in a suit) stands up, stares at Teddy, shakes his head and walks off, not before giving Teddy the finger *
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Jiren
Patti Mayonnaise
Hearts Bayformers
Posts: 35,163
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Post by Jiren on May 28, 2007 7:38:09 GMT -5
*Goku finds a Dragonball*
Goku: Hey i found a dragonball
*Batista pops out of no where*
Batista: That's my Dragonball and i'm gonna need it back
Goku: F*** off
Batista: TEDDY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Teddy: You hogging that Dragonball playa well you will go ONE ON ONE WITH THE UNDERTAKER
Taker: Dammit not again
Goku: Hmmmmm, VEGETA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vegeta: Dammit Kakarot i'm sick of doing your dirty work
*Vegeta then destroys Batista & Teddy*
*Taker shrugs and walks away*
Taker: Thank F*** for that
*Taker proceeds to sing "I'm Free" by "The Who"*
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What?
Don Corleone
Mr. Money in Teh Banned.
Tu que pasa? You ain't even in my clasa.
Posts: 2,036
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Post by What? on May 28, 2007 11:29:09 GMT -5
That doesn't work, Taker doesn't like being sic'd on people. Its hard not to get into a chef-assassin gimmick though. You make a good point.
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Post by Zed "Whack-A-Troll" Heckler on May 28, 2007 13:01:26 GMT -5
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Sajoa Moe
Patti Mayonnaise
Did you get that thing I sent ya?
A man without gimmick.
Posts: 39,683
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Post by Sajoa Moe on May 28, 2007 13:28:00 GMT -5
CONGRATULATION! YOU'RE WINNER! Edge: I could...I could...elevate your liver enzymes...
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Ace Diamond
Patti Mayonnaise
Believes in Adrian Veidt, as Should We All.
mmm...flavor text
Posts: 36,043
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Post by Ace Diamond on May 28, 2007 13:42:48 GMT -5
Batista goes to Scotland...
Loch Ness Monster: I NEED ABOUT TREE-FIDDY!
Batista: Uh...ok *hands him the money*. But just so you know, that's my tree-fiddy, and this Sunday, I'm going to be needing it back!
Loch Ness Monster: UM...WHAT?
Batista: ...TEDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
Teddy Long: All right monster-playa, you're going one on one with, THE UNDAHTAKER!
Undertaker: Man, F*** that he's as big as a house, I'm not doing this anymore! *speeds off in a motorboat*
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Post by rrm15 on May 28, 2007 13:45:15 GMT -5
Batista is at his fathers funeral. Batista *greiving over casket*: Why did you have to go? Ohh look, they make up people polished that watch I gave you on you birthday, just before you... *cries*... such a nice watch...*gains a sinister smirk* Hey dad, that watch? that's mine and I'm gonna be needing it back! *silence* Batista *angrily*: I'M GONNA BE NEEDING IT BACK! *everyone else gasps, Teddy's head pops out of the Holy Water bowl* Teddy: Alright Mr. Batista, you heard your son... *nothing* Batista: TEDDY! Teddy: Alright corpsey, tonight you get to go one on one with... THE UNDATAKAH! Grieving widow: An Undertaker? No, you have it wrong, he's getting cremated Teddy: No... not an undertaker... THE UNDATAKAH! *Undertaker (appropriately in a suit) stand up, stares at Teddy, shakes his head and walks off, not before giving Teddy the finger * That might be the best one yet. Kudos.
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Post by Fruity Delicious Skittles on May 28, 2007 14:03:00 GMT -5
Batista signing autographs on the way to a Hotel.
Random fan: Wow, thanks for the autograph Dave!
Batista: You know that signature is mine and this Sunday, I'm gonna be needing it back!
Random fan: But, Dude, come on, you Just signed it!
Batista: Teddy!
Teddy, who for some reason was standing in the line of fans, taps the random fan on the back of the shoulder.
Teddy: So you don't wanna give Batista his autograph back? Well, tonight how about you go one on one with ... THE UNDERTAKHA!!!!! Holla Holla!!!
Undertaker is on his way to the hotel aswell.
Taker: Look Teddy, I've told you to stop doing this.
Teddy: What? Mark Calloway, tonight your Going to go one on one with ... THE UNDERTAKAH!!!
Taker: Teddy, How many times? I AM the Undertaker. I can't take on myself.
Teddy: Oh, well how about tonight you go one on one with...KANE... who will be dressed as a christmas tree!
Glen Jacobs gets off the bus and shakes his head in disbelief. ___________________________________________________________________________
Backstage as Kane prepares for his match with Taker.
Batista: Hey Kane, that Christmas tree is mine and this sunday, I'm gonna be needing it back!
Kane: Fine, Please take it!
Kane runs off.
Batista walks off satisfied.
Teddy Long appears having sensed possible trouble.
Teddy: Huh, you dare to actually give Batista his belongings BACK... Well tonight you'll be going one on one with... THE UNDERTAKHA!!!
Taker: Teddy, Who the hell are you talking to?
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Sajoa Moe
Patti Mayonnaise
Did you get that thing I sent ya?
A man without gimmick.
Posts: 39,683
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Post by Sajoa Moe on May 28, 2007 14:51:54 GMT -5
Batista goes to Scotland... Loch Ness Monster: I NEED ABOUT TREE-FIDDY! Batista: Uh...ok *hands him the money*. But just so you know, that's my tree-fiddy, and this Sunday, I'm going to be needing it back! Loch Ness Monster: UM...WHAT? Batista: ...TEDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! Teddy Long: All right monster-playa, you're going one on one with, THE UNDAHTAKER! Undertaker: Man, F*** that he's as big as a house, I'm not doing this anymore! *speeds off in a motorboat* Sounds familiar. Chef's Dad: Did I ever tell you childrens 'bout da time me and Ellie met Batista? We was at da Smackdown show, and he come up to us, he a big, scary, tattooed man, and he just lost his World Title, y'see. And he come on up to us, an' he look me straight in da eye, an' he said, "Imma need mah title back." Chef's Mom: Need mah title back. Chef's Dad: Well, it was 'bout dat time dat I realized dat dis weren't no Batista, but it was a two-story crustacean from da Mesozoic Period. So I said, "Damn you, monster! We ain't gonna give you no title back!" And den you know what happened? Teddy Long come up to us an' he said we got to go one-on-one wit' da Undatakah!
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SAJ Forth
Wade Wilson
Jamaican WCF Crazy!
Half Man-Half Amazing
Posts: 27,214
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Post by SAJ Forth on May 28, 2007 15:31:29 GMT -5
So what you're saying is that joke is yours, and you're gonna be needing it back?
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Sajoa Moe
Patti Mayonnaise
Did you get that thing I sent ya?
A man without gimmick.
Posts: 39,683
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Post by Sajoa Moe on May 28, 2007 15:32:39 GMT -5
So what you're saying is that joke is yours, and you're gonna be needing it back? Unless Pilot wishes to go one-on-one...with THE UNDATAKAH!!
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Ace Diamond
Patti Mayonnaise
Believes in Adrian Veidt, as Should We All.
mmm...flavor text
Posts: 36,043
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Post by Ace Diamond on May 28, 2007 15:35:11 GMT -5
So what you're saying is that joke is yours, and you're gonna be needing it back? Unless Pilot wishes to go one-on-one...with THE UNDATAKAH!! Eh, guess i missed it. Also, that joke is not yours cause you put it in the context of the episode, i put it in the context of the monster itself, thereby making it different. For example, here's my hypothetical part 2: *** Teddy Long: All right fine! I'll do it myself! *rolls up sleeves* *2 hours later the loch ness monster is being hoisted up by helicopter* Batista: That was amazing! Long: Well, i was a bit worried when he swallowed me but you know the rest, playa! *** so yeah, context of the monster itself using jokes generated from shows, without using the show's characters.
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